Work Text:
Khun Aguero Agnis lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling of his room, moonlight streaming through the large window to his right. Night was always the worst, a reminder of what he could not have. Who he could not have. Night was a painful reminder of how he felt about Bam, and a cruel reminder of how there was nothing he could do about it anymore.
For as long as he could remember, he had been best friends with Bam. It was as if an invisible string connected them, an inexplicable connection bonding them since the day they met. At the time, he hadn’t realized it, but Khun knew now that he was in love with Bam. He wished he could—
Just then, Khun heard a tapping at his window. At first he thought it was his imagination, but then it happened again, louder, more insistent. Tentatively, Khun sat up and turned toward the window. As soon as he saw the figure standing there on the balcony, he got out of bed as quickly as he could, taking extra care not to step on the loose floorboard that would alert his parents. Tiptoeing over to the window, he silently unlocked it and pushed it open, allowing Bam to sneak inside.
“What are you doing here?” he whispered urgently. “If my parents hear you—”
“They won’t,” Bam reassured him, cutting him off mid-sentence. “I have something I need to tell you, before it’s too late.”
Khun felt his pulse quicken and his mouth become dry. Why did Bam say it like they were being sent somewhere to die? Despite everything the Grace family had done in recent times, Khun still couldn’t imagine them doing that. It turned out, the news was much worse to hear.
“Khun. They want me married off. Someone named Rachel, I’ve never met her but they said that she would ‘bring honor to our family’. Khun, I don’t want to lose you!”
At this, Khun felt his heart stop. Surely they couldn’t mean…? No, Khun was sure Bam only meant that they thought of him as a friend. Anyway, it wasn’t worth dwelling on. It’s not like either of their families would take kindly to them being around each other anymore.
Steadying his breathing, Khun responded in the carefully measured way that he had grown accustomed to using whenever strong emotions threatened to spill out of his carefully constructed façade. He didn’t want to say anything that could push Bam away, but he thought it was equally as dangerous to say anything that brought them closer. He couldn’t bear the thought of dragging Bam down with him if everything were to go to shit.
“Khun?” Bam’s concerned voice pulled him back to reality sharply. Khun did a mental check to make sure his face gave nothing away.
“Bam, it’s…it’s going to be okay,” he said, trying to convince himself more so than Bam. Khun was grateful that Bam was trying their best to not let on that he wasn’t doing a great job. The only thing they did was give a small nod, doubt filling their eyes. Bam had never been very good at hiding their emotions, not from Khun. He just wished there would be a good solution. Not hoping, though. He knew hoping would only bring disappointment.
Bam stepped closer, minding their step. They were accustomed to Khun’s room, having spent so much time with him when they were little. Their parents used to say the pair were inseparable, and it held true even if the adults didn’t know it.
They were staring into each other’s eyes now, and all Khun could think was No way, this can’t be happening, they don’t like me like that, this isn’t real—
Suddenly the two of them froze, listening carefully. There had been a creak down the hall, they were sure of it. Khun motioned to Bam and silently opened the window, then snuck back to his bed. As quietly as possible, he pulled the covers over his head and faced the wall, wordlessly begging his heart to stop racing.
He had acted just in time, because as soon as he was settled in and appeared to be sleeping, Khun heard the knob of his bedroom door turn softly. He held his breath as Khun Eduan entered his room, making sure Aguero was still sleeping. Carefully, Khun rolled over, making sure it appeared that he was still asleep. He heard his father move to the open window, and as soon as he was certain he was not within eyesight he opened his eyes the most miniscule amount, prepared to close them in a split second if needed.
Khun could feel his heart pounding in his throat now, praying that Eduan didn’t look next to the window on the outside, praying he wouldn’t see Bam pressed flat against the wall as they tried to go unnoticed. Khun’s father lingered, and for a moment Khun thought they were going to be discovered.
Please, don’t let him notice.
After what felt like an eternity, Eduan closed the window and left the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Khun didn’t dare move, though, not until he was certain he heard the receding footsteps down the hall and the door to his parents’ room latch behind his father.
Khun opened his window slightly. “Bam, you have to go for now. You know what our parents said about us seeing each other!” he whispered urgently. It killed him to say it, but he knew he couldn’t just let Bam get into trouble. He knew that whatever the consequences would be, they wouldn’t be good.
Bam just nodded and slipped off into the night. Khun sighed, exasperated with himself. There had been such a perfect opportunity to tell Bam how he felt, and he screwed it all up. No use dwelling on it now. Anyway, he was too tired to think about this now, so he decided to sleep first, try to clear his mind.
“Wake up.”
Khun groaned, the sunlight that streamed through his window all but blinding him. He was so out of it that he didn’t realize who had woken him up at first, until it spoke again.
“Khun, get up.” Aguero recognized the voice of his father then, not quite moved to anger but approaching that point. Against his wishes, Khun complied, fearing his father’s reaction if he didn’t.
Once he was sure that Aguero was alert, Eduan addressed him again in that same cold voice. “Get dressed and downstairs. Your mother and I would like you to meet someone. Oh, and kid?”
Of course he can’t even be bothered to learn my name, Khun thought. Why would he, when he doesn’t even know how many kids he has? Nevertheless, he responded, careful to not reveal any emotions in his father’s presence. “Yes, sir?”
“Wear something nice. I do not want to see you dishonoring this family with your…unconventional fashion choices.” Khun could hear the disdain dripping from every word. He wanted to defend himself, make his father understand how hurtful he was, but Aguero held his tongue. Years of living in this family had taught him how to hide his true feelings, how to avoid his father’s watchful eye. How to stay safe.
“Yes, sir.”
“You what?” Khun asked incredulously, not caring anymore about keeping up appearances. So what if the Ha Yura was sitting next to his parents? So what if he was making a bad impression of his family on her? It didn’t matter to him, not anymore. There was no way he was marrying some stranger, regardless of how well-known her family was.
“As I told you…” his father said, trying to sound commanding but doing a poor job of it as his voice trailed off, not knowing what to call his son. His mother muttered something in his ear and he began again. “As I told you, August, you will marry Miss Yura here, and that is my final word on the matter. The wedding date has already been set; there is nothing for you to do about it. It is high time you brought honor to this family. We do not have time for your childish games, Arthur.”
That was enough to finally push Khun off the edge. “Why the hell should I do what you tell me? Huh? You call yourself my father, and yet you don’t even know my damn name! You’re the disgrace, not me. I’ve had enough of this family’s bullshit! I don’t give a damn how much money or power her family has, I won’t do it!” He stormed out of the room, and locked his bedroom door as he ran inside.
Undoubtedly his father would be there any time now, but he didn’t feel like thinking about that at the moment. All he could think about is how badly he wanted to run away with Bam. He didn’t know where they would go, but anywhere had to be better than here. To his surprise, it was not Eduan but his mother who knocked at his bedroom door.
“Come in,” he said glumly. At least it wasn’t his father. Despite all of his mother’s flaws, she was a step up from his father. Not much, but still.
He prepared himself for the lecture he thought she was going to give, but to his surprise she simply told him, “Go. Apologize to your father for your behavior. I understand your…frustration…about him not seeming to pay attention to you, but it is very hard on him.”
Khun couldn’t believe she really said that Eduan had it rough, particularly out of everyone else in the family, but he said nothing about it. He knew she was right, that he needed to apologize. Maybe it would prevent the worst of the potential punishment. Khun nodded curtly, being left with no other choice.
The rest of the day passed by in a blur. Khun had given his father a half-hearted apology that he didn’t really believe in, his father had begrudgingly accepted. His actions were, of course, not to be without consequences, but Eduan had said they would discuss it when Yura went out to prepare for the wedding. Khun found out it was scheduled to be in a week, but in his state it seemed impossibly far away. This brought little comfort, though, as the date still hung over his head like the sword of Damocles.
Meals were a quiet affair, no one daring to break the tense silences. The air was heavy, and everyone kept their eyes down for fear of another argument breaking out if anyone challenged the example being set by Eduan.
When Khun was excused from dinner, he trudged up to his bedroom. He had spent most of the day secluded there, isolating himself from his family, but mostly Yura. He didn’t want to have anything to do with her, not when she was the girl he was being forced to marry. Khun felt a little guilty about not even giving her a chance, but his heart already belonged to another.
As Khun glanced over at the window where Bam had snuck in just the night before, a white paper square on the floor caught his eye. He walked over and picked it up, noticing there was writing on it.
Meet me tonight, under the oak tree by the boulder. 2 AM. Don’t be late.
-B
Khun immediately recognized the handwriting to be Bam’s. He committed the message to memory, folding the paper and carefully slipping it under the loose floorboard where he knew his parents wouldn’t check.
He waited anxiously for the time to come, and despite having had barely any sleep he was completely alert. He climbed into bed with his shoes on and a light jacket under the covers so that his parents didn’t see he was still awake when they came in to check on him.
Once he was sure that everyone had gone to bed, he crept out of his room through the window. He knew the grounds well, having lived there for the past seventeen years of his life, but he was still on high alert for any obstacles. The last thing Khun needed was to get caught doing this.
Every so often, he stopped, thinking he had heard footsteps behind him. When he turned to look, though, he didn’t see anyone. This would have been comforting, only it was pitch black out and not seeing anyone didn’t really mean much.
Finally, Khun arrived at the boulder and ducked down behind it to see Bam was already there, waiting for him. The clouds that had been blocking the light of the moon passed over and Bam’s face was illuminated by the pale white light. In Khun’s definitely not biased opinion, they were beautiful.
Khun didn’t realize he had been staring into Bam’s eyes until they started talking, causing Khun to snap out of it.
“Um…so. Last night, I uh…I didn’t tell you everything that I wanted to,” they began. Khun saw them wringing their hands together the way they always did when they were nervous about something. Khun had never been renowned for his patience, but he sat quietly and listened. With anyone else, he would have been rushing them through whatever they had to say, hating when they paused for seemingly no reason. But with Bam? Khun would wait for an eternity if it meant being with them.
“You already know that I don’t want to marry Rachel. But, Khun, I didn’t tell you why I don’t want to. Not the whole story, anyway.”
Wait… Khun thought. Surely they didn’t mean…? After being friends for all these years, he couldn’t believe Bam might actually feel the same.
They took a breath to calm themself and launched into it. “Khun, the truth is that I like you. I’ve liked you since we were kids, only I didn’t realize it and once I did, I thought you only thought of me as a friend. So I went years without saying anything about it. I didn’t want to cause any tension between us, or mess things up, or—well, you get the idea. And honestly, I wasn’t really sure that I wanted to go through with telling you until last night, but then your dad came, and I just, I don’t know. I guess I lost the nerve to tell you.
“The hardest part? I had to go so long carefully watching my every move once I realized, and overanalyzing everything that happened between us. I don’t even know what I was looking for, whether it was for some sign that I should move on, or if I should make a move, or even something else entirely.
“When they told me I had to marry Rachel, that was when I realized I had to tell you. Khun, the reason I said I don’t want to lose you is because, well, I’m in love with you! I—”
Khun cut them off by suddenly leaning in and kissing them gently, as though scared they would disappear at any moment. After a moment he pulled away, both of them grinning. Bam’s smile didn’t last long, though, as a voice cut through the night like a knife.
“Bam? What the fuck?”
Khun turned to see a blonde girl stand up from the other side of the boulder angrily. Turning back to Bam, he saw their expression darken, clearly upset by the girl’s presence. It was easy for Khun to deduce who she must be.
“Rachel, what are you doing here?” Bam asked quietly, as though they were afraid of how she would react.
Rachel just glared at the two of them, then moved to grab Bam’s arm. They flinched, and Khun found he couldn’t sit by and let it happen.
“Don’t fucking touch them. I swear to you, I’ll—”
“What? Are you going to tell your mommy and daddy? See what happens when they find out you were seeing Bam again, I dare you.”
“Don’t even try it.” Khun whipped around to see none other than Yura standing there.
Did she seriously follow me here?
While Rachel didn’t fully let go, her grip on Bam’s arm did visibly loosen and her face softened when she met Yura’s eyes. She still looked pissed, but at least she didn’t look ready to kill anyone.
“Bam, can we have a word?” Rachel’s tone clearly said that she wasn’t actually asking. She dragged Bam out of earshot and it looked like she had begun to berate them. Didn’t they just meet today? Why the hell is she treating them like that out of nowhere? It made Khun’s blood boil. He hadn’t realized he was making his way over to where Bam and Rachel were standing until he felt Yura’s hand rest on his shoulder.
“Don’t. It will be okay. For what it’s worth, I think you two are much more suited for each other than we are.”
Her words, surprisingly, calmed Khun down enough to think clearly, although he had half a mind to go over there whenever Rachel’s words were carried to him on the breeze. He could make out fragments, and none of them were very good.
“…the fuck?…can’t believe you…wrong with you…” Every phrase pissed Khun off, but he kept his temper in check. Bam looked at the ground the whole time, as though they were ashamed.
Finally, Rachel’s tirade seemed to have reached its end and they both came back. She seemed calmer, and when she approached Yura and Khun she seemed to relax even more. If Khun wasn’t mistaken, it looked like she was nervous to even be around Yura. He didn’t pay it too much mind though; his focus was primarily on Bam, who stood there watching the ground and kicking at a pebble with their shoe.
“We could run away, you know,” Khun began, approaching Bam. “You and me, away from all of this. We could even leave tomorrow, if you wanted to.”
“I’d like that, I think.” Bam smiled hesitantly. “But where would we go?”
Khun thought for a moment. “I don’t know. Maybe there’s somewhere our families haven’t extended their influence to yet. All I know is that I don’t care where we go as long as I’m with you.”
That seemed to satisfy Bam. Khun glanced over his shoulder and saw that Yura and Rachel seemed to have hit it off fairly quickly.
“Hey, I have a favor to ask,” Khun told Yura. “I need you to cover for us. We’re leaving tomorrow. I hate to ask you to do something this big when I barely know you, but it would really mean a lot.”
“I’ll do it,” she replied without hesitation. “I can tell that they make you happy. If I don’t get the chance to tell you tomorrow, I wish you two the best.”
To both Khun’s and Bam’s surprise, Rachel also spoke up immediately. “I’m in. Yura, I trust your judgement. I don’t know why, but I do. Also, Bam, full offense but I don’t like you.”
“Thanks,” Bam replied sarcastically. “Good to know you enjoy being around me.”
Rachel ignored this, and turned to Khun this time. “So? What’s the plan?”
The following evening, Khun felt terrified. What if Bam doesn’t show up? What if we get caught? I hope everything is going smoothly at the Grace estate… Despite all his experience in suppressing his emotions, Khun could feel them rising just under the surface, threatening to spill over at any time. He had been extra careful that day to not let anything or anyone get under his skin, and he wasn’t about to screw it all up tonight.
He had been pretending to fall for Yura all day, and putting on a rather convincing show of it in his opinion. As far as Khun was concerned, no one in his family was any the wiser of what he planned to do later.
When the time came, he announced that he planned to sleep early. He had spent the entire day with Yura, playing croquet, reading in the library, and overall making his parents believe that he had a reason to be more tired than normal. Rather than sleep, however, he checked over his bag one more time before tossing it onto the balcony. He didn’t want to forget anything. In particular, he wanted to ensure he had the most expensive of his father’s items so he could sell them later. If he was going to go through with this, he wanted to do it in a big way, a final Screw you! to his father.
Soon, it was time to go. Khun went onto his balcony and looked down to see Yura poking her head out the window holding a mirror. She flashed it three times quickly, signaling him that it was clear for him to go. He gave her a quick thumbs up and climbed down the same way as before, bag slung over his shoulder. He felt a strange way, a way that he had never felt before. His heart was pounding, but he had never felt so alive. Khun all but ran to the boulder where they had agreed to meet up before leaving.
This time, Bam arrived moments after Khun.
“You ready?” Khun asked. Bam nodded, and reached out to take his hand.
“With you, I’m always ready.”
They never did find out how their families reacted when they discovered their beds empty without a trace of their whereabouts. They never heard about how after they disappeared, Yura and Rachel were the ones who brought the Grace and Khun families back together, but they were glad for it. They were grateful to have escaped from their previous lives, permanently free from the overwhelming expectations and free to be whoever they wanted, to be with whoever they wanted. Every night, Khun found himself looking up at the moon and thinking of Bam, only this time it wasn’t wistfully. This time, he had everything he wanted right there with him.