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Vil and Jack are lying in bed idly playing with each other. Jack’s arm is around Vil and Vil’s head is on Jack’s shoulder.
“I’ve missed this.”
“Me too. It’s been really lonely without you at home. First you leave, then Nei…”
“Neige! You got with Neige while I was at school? I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking kill him!”
Jack groaned inwardly. He should have known better than to mention Neige LeBlanche.”
“I never got with him. We hung out a couple of times.”
“You were alone with him? Bastard cradle snatcher!”
Jack gently stroked Vil’s hair, his face, his lips.
“Vil, please calm down. Just listen. Nothing ever happened. All he ever did was talk about you. You know he fancies you?”
“Promise?”
“Which bit? Sorry! Yes, I promise. And by the way, both. I could never, I lo…”
Jack stopped himself, but not in time. He blushed from the roots of his white hair to the base of his throat. He nuzzled Vil’s hair, trying in vain to hide his embarrassment. Vil reached up to stroke his face then linked their fingers and softly kissed the back of Jack’s hand.
“I’m glad that you finally accepted the offer.”
“Wasn’t sure that I should.”
“Why on earth not? You’re a powerful mage – you should be here.”
“Didn’t want to cramp your style. You’re a big shot, a dorm president and a magicam star, and I didn’t think you’d want me hanging around reminding you of – well – US. And I couldn’t be here, be around you, seeing you every day, without it being obvious.”
Vil changed position so that he was sitting astride Jack and took his face in both his hands.
“I could never be ashamed of you, of us.”
“But it’s not the same, now.”
“How’d you mean?”
“Look, I know I’m naïve and idealistic – the others tease me about it all the time. But I’m not stupid. I’ve seen the magazines; I’ve even seen some of the damn magicam posts. But I’ve kept the promise I made when we went to the aurora.”
Promise? Vil;s brain was definitely awake now and trying desperately to catch up to where Jack’s obvious angst had taken him. The accusation was stinging.
“You’ve forgotten!”
Jack almost pushed Vil off him. His face was burning with rage and shame, and shame at his rage. He sat up and turned his back on Vil as his shoulders starting shaking. His ears and tail drooped in a way that Vil could never remember seeing before. Guilt rose as understanding dawned. The aurora! Jack’s present to him before he left for school. The last time that they’d really spent time together. They’d lain together like they were earlier tonight, gazing up at the aurora in the private enclosure that he’d rented for them. Sensual, but not yet sexual. An innocence that now seemed almost out of reach.
“Jack, I…”
“What? You didn’t mean it? It wasn’t your fault? We were too young? Or… Gods, Vil! Don’t you get it? I love you. I’ve always loved you. It kills me every time I see pictures of you with someone else, a ‘girlfriend’ or ‘boyfriend’. I would have let you do anything that night, but we…
“Jack, you were 13! I would have ended up in gaol!”
“Only if you’d told someone. How else would anyone know?”
“We agreed to wait until you were 16…”
“I AM 16 now, Vil. I’m not a child. And I love you. I know that you’ll laugh and make fun of me, but I have to say it. I think we’re soul mates. I always thought we couldn’t really be because we’re both guys, you know, in fairy tales, it’s always a guy and a girl, but I really think we are and…”
Jack’s almost single-breath speech faltered, and he stared at the floor. He was unused to talking so much, and unused to expressing his feelings so bluntly. But faint heart never won fair maid and he was damned if he was going to let his soulmate escape without a fight. But his unfinished confession was hanging in the air and suddenly he felt very tired and very sick.
“I’m going home.”
“You can’t just go wandering through the dorms at this hour…
“I’m not going to the dorm! I told you – I’m going home. To Pyroxene.”
“You can’t!”
‘Why not? Give me one reason why I should stay. You didn’t want me then. You clearly don’t want me now. If you don’t want me around, I’ll leave. I can’t stay here. I should never have come here; should never have accepted that invitation.”
“I’m glad you did”. Vil’s voice was so soft that Jack wasn’t sure he’d heard. There was a catch in his voice as he continued. “I’d really like you to stay. “
“Why? So you can torture me? Make fun of me? Laugh at me with your senior friends? I must seem so lame to you, waiting for two years for something that was never going to happen.”
“It’s not lame. It’s so sweet. I’ve been so lonely without you. Jack, I’m sorry. There’s nothing more that I can say. I never meant to hurt you in anyway. You are my only friend and I love you. Please come back to bed.”
“What about the others?”
“None of it really meant anything. There was sex, yes, I’m not proud, but I admit it. But no love – never any love. Never anything like what I felt with you when we were young.”
“You – y’know – with people you didn’t love? Oh gods, Vil! You poor thing! Why on earth would you…..no, don’t answer – it doesn’t matter. Hey, did you just say you loved me?”
“Uh ha. Yes.”
Vil gently pulled Jack backwards until his head was resting in Vil’s lap. He softly stroked the unruly white hair out of his eyes and bent down until their lips touched.
“Will you accept this as true love’s first kiss?”
It was the most vulnerable that he had seen Vil since their very first meeting, and his heart melted all over again. His soul felt so light that he howled with joy.