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Hiiro’s eyes shot open, ripped out of his sleep by a nightmare. It hadn’t been particularly gruesome or exactly disturbing in the least, at least not compared to the many things he had dealt with even in his short life, but…
Instead, he had been faced with his worst fear, no matter how much he had tried to ignore and deny it: He was alone. He had been left alone, the familiar figures of his brother, ALKALOID and the others he’d met in ES were moving away from him, no matter how much he cried and begged and screamed for them to please wait.
No matter how fast he tried to run, they always seemed to advance another hundred steps in front of him yet at the same time felt just out of reach, and he could see them smile and laugh amongst each other.
As if they were happy he was gone.
Taking in a sharp inhale, Hiiro desperately looked around, finding himself in ALKALOID’s dorm room, where he had been since last night. His fingers curled and dug into the sheets of Aira’s bed.
Right… right. Last night, Aira found him in the garden, after Rinne had disowned him, and ended up carrying him back to their dorm. He didn’t want to be alone and so Aira allowed him to sleep in his bed…
Still uncontrollably trembling with silenced sobs, Hiiro’s gaze fell on Aira, who was sleeping peacefully. He moved closer, being mindful of their somehow still intertwined hands as he carefully wrapped his free arm around Aira’s waist in a feeble attempt at a hug.
Seeing how relaxed his friend was soothed him a little, though he just couldn’t shake off the dread nagging at his heart that if he fell asleep again, he’d wake up to find Aira— and everyone else— gone.
Such a thought did nothing to slow the tears that were still incessantly running down his face, and Hiiro found himself squeezing Aira’s hand a little tighter and nuzzling closer to him. Comfort had once been a luxury only shared through the moments Rinne would pat his head or hug him, but with ALKALOID, Hiiro had been allowed to indulge in being close with friends like this.
He took another deep breath, hugging Aira closer. The desperate need for affection that had only recently begun to surface burned an ache across every inch of his body. It seemed that no matter how much physical contact he initiated, it was never enough. Moments like this made him realize that the most.
“...Mmh?” a soft mumble drifted across the small space of the bed, leading Hiiro to zone away from his thoughts and back to Aira, who was now blinking himself awake. “...Hiwo-kun?”
Only a second passed before Aira’s eyes widened and his face went red, presumably processing the position they were in. He let out a surprised yelp as he hurried to sit up, slipping his hand away from Hiiro’s in the process.
“W-What are you—!?”
“Aira, wait,” Hiiro hurriedly interrupted, not having time or energy to mask the way his voice trembled, “I’m truly sorry, but… Please, please don't leave me.”
Just to accentuate his apology, Hiiro reluctantly moved away to create a distance more comfortable for Aira and bowed his head.
“...Hey, Hiro-kun,” Aira said softly after a moment, “It’s alright, okay? Really, I should be the one apologizing, I know how much you’ve been through lately and I shouldn’t have reacted like that…”
Hiiro opened his mouth to reply, but anything he could have thought to say caught in his throat.
“You can come closer if you wanna,” Aira continued after a brief silence, “Either way, I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” True to his word, he held his arms open expectantly.
Despite some hesitation, Hiiro didn’t wait for any more permission, gingerly moving to hug Aira again. Aira slowly laid back, easing Hiiro’s head to his shoulder as he pet his hair gently. Hiiro gritted his teeth in frustration when he couldn’t stop crying even after a few long moments. He was surely, definitely staining Aira’s shirt with his tears.
“I’m sorry, Aira.”
“Eh~? Didn’t I kinda just say you have nothing to be sorry for?”
“...But I’m inconveniencing you, even after everything you’ve done for me…” Hiiro’s voice broke with a sob that he just couldn’t choke back.
“Hiro-kun,” Aira said with a stern yet somehow still warm voice, “You’re not inconveniencing me, we’re friends. This is what friends do, right?”
Hiiro paused, breathing shakily as he absentmindedly hugged Aira tighter, “I… I don’t know.”
Aira hummed thoughtfully, “Well… it doesn’t really matter. I care about you, Hiro-kun. I wanna do this, so don’t think you’re bothering me, okay?”
“...Okay.” Hiiro mumbled.
Though Hiiro would be lying if he said he was convinced this wasn’t bothering Aira at all, it did feel nice that he was being so honest with him. With a somewhat contented sigh, Hiiro let himself relax completely. Aira petting his hair and rubbing slow subtle circles on his back felt just too nice to give up right now, even if those did inexplicably cause his heart to quicken a little.
“Go back to sleep, okay?” Aira whispered, “I’ll still be here when you wake up.”
Hiiro shifted somewhat, only enough to be able to glance at Aira properly, “...Do you promise?”
Aira offered a slight smile, “Of course I promise. So you better not leave me either, okay?”
Despite his confident tone, Aira was clearly embarrassed from saying such a thing, judging by the way his cheeks tinged with pink. Hiiro involuntarily huffed a small laugh which was accompanied by perhaps a misplaced smudge of joy.
This was the Aira he knew.
The gripping ache of dull pain still hadn’t released his heart and neither had the agonizing fears from being left behind by his brother again, the person he’d devoted his entire life to, but he could almost ignore those for now. Almost, in the arms of someone he loved dearly, someone who cared about him. A place he was invited to belong to.
Even if this was another dream, Hiiro could pretend that everything was okay for tonight or just right now. And maybe he’d be okay with never waking up from it.