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Sirius Black had never fully understood how someone could love someone so much that they were completely and utterly devoted to them in every way. He saw every variation of faux care and love growing up, but never true love. He saw his parents and their forced “care” for each other, saw his cousin Cissa and her boyfriend who, while genuinely caring for each other to some degree, had to play nice with each other for the marriage to work out. He saw his cousin Bella and how she was forced to marry that Lestrange boy, how his cousin Andie wasn’t allowed to date who she wanted. He saw these things and grew up unaware that it was possible to care for someone so much that you were completely and utterly devoted to them.
When he came to Hogwarts, he saw James Potter’s infatuation with Lily Evans, but just passed it off as childish intrigue. He laughed when James declared he was in love with the girl, when he tried and failed to get her to agree to a date with him time and time again. When Lily and James had finally begun to date, he had been ecstatic for them, sure. But he still didn’t understand how someone could be so devoted to a person.
And then he met Remus Lupin. At first he had only thought of him as the book-loving boy who cursed whenever something went awry. But over the years he began to notice all the things about Remus that he hadn’t before. He began to notice the way he twirled blue ink pens in his left hand while writing with his right. He began to notice the small creases that morphed the scars on Remus’s face when he laughed, the way his eyes lit up amber when he smiled. He began to notice Remus’s habit of carrying different types of chocolate on different days and picked up the habit just to make sure that Remus never went without chocolate.
Eventually he (with the help of James, Lily, and Marlene of course) came to realize that he cared for Remus as more than a dorm mate, more than a friend, more than a brother. It took him nearly a year and a half to admit his feelings, and another six months to tell Remus.
When he had finally admitted his feelings, he had simply told Remus that he liked him. It would take several more months for him to truly put words to his love for Remus Lupin.
When Sirius Black recognized the signs of devotion, of him truly loving Remus so much that he was completely and utterly devoted to him in every way, he had been in the Great Hall eating breakfast.
He had dropped his half eaten bagel on his plate, stood up with more speed than when he was running from Filch, and hauled James and Marlene (Lily wasn’t there yet) out of the Great Hall by their wrists.
He had spent nearly eight minutes ranting about feelings and boys and “stupid idiots who feel things” and so many other things that no one truly remembered him saying. Once the two had calmed Sirius down and gotten him to properly explain what was going on, they both had held back laughter and told him to go tell Remus or “deal with it quietly, because honestly Padfoot. I need to eat.”
Sirius hadn’t actually gone up to Remus and simply said, “I’m in love with you and I just panicked because I realized I’m so in love with you that I’m completely and utterly devoted to you. Sorry if I startled you,” but he was pretty sure Remus could tell something was different.
One night in the dorm room well past curfew, Remus had asked Sirius why he was even more lovey-dovey than usual.
“I just really love you,” he had whispered back with a grin brighter than the star he was named after.
“I really love you too,” Remus murmured into the darkness, holding Sirius closer.
Sirius Black hadn’t grown up knowing how someone could be so in love with someone that they were completely and utterly devoted to them in every way. He learned how that was possible once he met Remus Lupin and fell for him faster than he fell down the stairs his first week at Hogwarts.