Chapter Text
You wiped your watering eyes as you struggled to stand back up. Your legs were shaking, but you managed it. You were definitely getting tired of feeling like this.
Peeking out the bathroom door into the bedroom, you saw Jamie still sleeping peacefully in your bed. God knows how he hadn’t woken up to the sound of you vomiting, but you were glad. He was always so worried about everything, you being one of his top priorities, and you just wanted him to relax for a little but, well, as much as he could considering the circumstances.
You were about to go and clean yourself up, so you’d be able to sneak back into bed like nothing happened, when another wave of nausea came over you, but you managed to fight it off. It was strange, you’d been feeling like this every morning for the last week (or around about, it could be difficult to track time down here sometimes).
You’d been in this bunker just over a year now (that you knew for sure, Sutton had announced quite enthusiastically when you’d reached your one year anniversary), and your anxious vomiting had ceased months ago. You didn’t exactly love it here, but you were alive, you had Jamie, food to eat and a comfortable place to sleep. It was better than nothing.
So why were you feeling like this now? You went to the sink to wash your face and suddenly the realisation hit you like a brick. This terrible nausea had only been hitting you in the mornings. Also, you were supposed to have already had your period, right? It was so difficult to keep track of time that you had assumed you’d just miscounted the days, but now that you really thought about it… it was all suddenly starting to make sense.
Your eyes widened. You didn’t know how to feel. If this had happened while you were up on the surface, when you and Jamie lived a normal life, you would have been happy. You would have excitedly told Jamie, who would have been anxious at first, but soon enough he would have smiled and hugged you and told you that it was wonderful news. Now, it was anything but.
The two of you should have probably been more careful, but it wasn't like you'd been supplied with any birth control. The only other choice was abstaining, and really, you didn't want to give up one of the only bits of fun that you could still have. It made you blush to think about it, but you and Jamie did spend a lot of your time behind the locked door of your bedroom, struggling to keep quiet so the others wouldn’t hear you. Maybe if someone had the foresight to bring Monopoly or something, you wouldn’t be in this situation.
There were already too many people in the bunker as it was, and the addition of yet another would be a drain on supplies. Sutton was pretty open about her distaste for children, even if they were related to her. If they weren't able to supply her with nice, clean, compatible blood, she probably wouldn't have thought twice about abandoning Frankie and baby Jude outside to die.
And then another terrifying thought hit you. Your baby would be related to Sutton as well. She'd probably want to use it as a little blood bank just like she wanted to with the other two kids. The only reason they were safe is thanks to Jamie, Rhonda, Scotty, and even Spike insisting on giving up their own blood to spare the children. But if anything happened to them, Sutton wouldn't hesitate to drain the life out of her own grandchild and great-grandchildren, and you'd more than likely be powerless to stop it.
Once again, you felt sick to your stomach, but you weren't able to hold it back this time. You were lucky to make it back down on your knees in time, and your body shook with the force of it.
"Y/N?" came Jamie's sleepy voice from inside the bedroom, when your nausea had eased for the moment, though you could barely hear him over your own deep, laboured breaths. "Were you sick again?"
Part of you wanted to reply sarcastically, like, 'No, of course not, I was just making those sounds for fun', but this was Jamie you were talking to, and you couldn’t bring yourself to speak to him like that, regardless of how terrible you feel.
"Yeah," you exclaimed with a cough. "Don't worry about it, though. I'm perfectly fine."
"You've been like this all week, maybe you should talk to Dr. Samuel. Just in case." You looked up and saw Jamie standing at the door, dressed only in his boxers, with a concerned expression on his face.
"He's got a lot on his plate, with all of those blood transfusions..." That was the best excuse you could think up. In reality, you just didn't trust the man. He and Sutton seemed very close, and you didn't want any information getting back to her. You didn’t know what help it was going to be, but you were determined to hide the pregnancy from Sutton for as long as possible. "Don't want to bother him with nothing."
"It's not nothing," Jamie said, and suddenly he was there on the floor beside you, one hand gently rubbing circles on your back. “You shouldn’t have to feel like this. He’s a doctor, surely he’ll have some idea about how to help.”
"Maybe… if it keeps going on for a little longer," you conceded, doing your best to ignore Jamie’s pleading eyes. “Come on, we can’t sit around in the bathroom all day.” You stood up, trying to pretend that your legs weren’t shaking. “Just let me clean myself up and I’ll be with you in a minute.”
You moved to the sink and washed your face with a damp cloth, wiping away the sweat and dried tears. Then you brushed your teeth, glad to get rid of the awful taste in your mouth. Once you were done, you walked back into the bedroom, where Jamie was seated on the side of the bed. You took a seat beside him with a heavy sigh, though you kept your face turned away from him.
“Love, is there something you’re not telling me?” Jamie asked, touching your cheek with his hand so you looked over to him. “Because you can tell me anything, you know that. If you just tell me what’s wrong, I’ll do everything I can to help.”
Jamie’s eyes were so sweet and earnest, gazing at you with such love. You stared into them for a few seconds, before suddenly bursting into tears, wrapping your arms around Jamie and burying your head in his chest, nearly knocking him backwards with the force of it. He held you, gently but securely, one hand stroking your hair.
"Hey, it’s alright," he told you softly, and you could tell from the slight quiver in his voice that seeing you so upset was making him want to cry as well. "I’ve got you. It’s all going to be alright."
"I… I don’t know if it is…" you choked out between sobs, glad for the warm feeling of Jamie’s skin against your cheek. You were sure he was the only thing keeping you sane. "It’s just…"
"It’s just what?" Jamie asked, and you have to pull back from his embrace to look at him when you answer his question.
"I, um… I think…" You took a deep breath, forcing your tears down. You knew that it was already life-changing news to find out that your girlfriend was pregnant, even when you weren’t stuck in a bunker after the end of the world, so you wanted to be as gentle and straight-forward with delivering the news as possible. No games, best to just come out and say it. "I think I might be pregnant."
"Oh." Jamie’s expression went completely blank. There was absolutely no sign of emotion on his face, like he was feeling such conflicting emotions that they cancelled each other out and left him with nothing. "That’s…"
"I mean, I’m not sure, I haven’t done a test obviously, but…" You sniffled, looking away from him. "I’m… I’m pretty sure."
Jamie stood up from the bed, and your heart sank. Was he going to walk away from you? Obviously, he had no choice but to stay in the bunker, but if you didn’t have him right beside you, you didn’t think you’d be able to handle any of this. But thankfully, your worries were short-lived, as he kneeled down in front of you, taking your hands in his as he looked up at you with a soft smile, though you could see the tears welling in his eyes. "It’ll all be okay. We’ll figure it out, together."
You tried your best to return his smile. "I hope so."