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It had certainly been a tough month. Probably the toughest in history.
Finding out that the world was going to end in just over thirty days had been a very unwelcome shock. Then to discover that your boyfriend’s long-missing wife was alive, and that he had a murderous identical twin hellbent on getting revenge against him was yet another surprise.
After that, the revelations just kept rolling in.
Jamie had a daughter he never knew existed. He found both of his biological parents, but they died before he really got the chance to know either of them. Then he’d been kidnapped and replaced by Ariel, locked up in his own bank vault to die if he hadn’t been rescued.
You’d spent so much time worrying about his feelings that’d you’d not had the chance to even consider your own.
Now you were in a bunker under Slough, with the rest of the last remnants of humanity, watching the world end on television, until the signal suddenly cut out.
Everyone present simply stared into space for what felt like an eternity.
It was all over.
“What happens now?” Rhonda asked, breaking a long moment of silence, and no one seemed to know how to answer. So everyone just went back to blank staring for a while.
“Hey, Jamie?” you whispered, after yet another long span of quiet, and immediately he looked at you, concerned. “I think I need to go and take a lie down.”
Jamie, always eager to help, found out from his grandmother – who was frankly terrifying, and did not seem to like you – where the bedrooms were, and accompanied you upstairs, holding your hand as you went.
The upper level of the bunker was a little bit like a hotel. Not a particularly nice one, but decent enough. You picked the first room you found and opened the door, walking inside and looking around. The bed was a good size, though it didn’t really matter since you and Jamie always slept very close.
You laid down on the bed, and Jamie lingered by the door, watching you while you got comfortable. “Do you want me to stay?” he asked you, but you shook your head.
“No, it’s okay. I just need a nap. Go and make sure Frankie’s alright.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, please don’t worry about me.”
That was a tall order, but Jamie conceded, walking over to give you a brief kiss, brushing some of your hair out of your face as he whispered, “I love you”, before returning to where he was standing by the door.
“I love you too,” you replied, and after a few moments of hesitation, Jamie walked out of the room and shut the door behind him, leaving you alone on the bed. You sighed, your whole body felt so tired, and so did your mind. You wanted so badly to fall asleep but certain thoughts just couldn’t leave you.
Like how if you and Layla hadn’t figured out that it was Ariel in the car with you, you’d have lost Jamie for good, and everyone would be stuck in this bunker with the identical twin who had attempted to replace him. That would be hell in more ways than one.
Without Jamie, you’d have no one in the whole world.
All of a sudden, all of the feelings you’d been repressing made their way to the surface. Everything hit you at once and you grabbed a pillow and pressed it over your face, screaming as loudly as you possibly could.
Then the tears came in full force, streaming down your face, and you sobbed and sobbed until your chest ached. Everything was gone. You adored Jamie to bits, of course you did, but you’d just lost so many people. Your parents, the rest of your family, all of your friends… every other person on Earth who wasn’t fortunate enough to have a bunker like this was dead, or would be soon.
You felt sick to your stomach – whether from the force of your sobbing or sheer anxiety, you weren’t sure – and barely made it to the bathroom on your shaking legs before you threw up. Then you slumped to the tiled floor, the cabinet against your back the only thing preventing you from collapsing completely.
There were no tears left to fall now, but your body was still trembling, little noises escaping you as you closed your eyes. You didn’t know how long it was before you heard your name being called. You could barely hear it, and there was no way you’d be able to respond anyway. The voice got closer and closer, until you heard a shocked gasp and suddenly your hands were being held in someone else’s. You cracked open one eye and there was Jamie, his brown eyes wide and glistening with tears as he looked at you.
“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Jamie told you quietly, gently pressing a kiss to one of your hands, seemingly not caring that it was still covered in dirt from your long journey to get here. You made a weak little sound, not quite a whimper, in acknowledgment of him.
Jamie stood up, you heard a bit of shuffling and then the sound of a running tap. A few moments later he was back sitting down next to you, wiping the tears and dirt away with a cool damp cloth.
“Do you… do you want a bath? I’m sure it’ll make you feel a bit better.” Jamie’s hand, accompanied by the cloth, lingered on your cheek. Your whole body was aching and tired, but you ever so slightly leaned into the touch.
“No. Later,” you managed, your voice so quiet that it was barely audible, but Jamie seemed to catch your words. He nodded.
“How about you come and lie down, then? I’m sure a bed will be much more comfortable than the bathroom floor.”
“Okay.”
“Good.” He gave you a little smile, one which you knew was entirely for your benefit, then a brief kiss to your forehead, before gently helping you up into a standing position. Slowly he brought you out of the bathroom and to the bed, sitting with you on the edge of it.
You shifted so you were lying down, resting your head against the same pillow you’d screamed into earlier. You could tell from the little wet patches your tears had left behind. Bizarrely, Jamie made no move to follow, simply turning his head to look at you.
“Jamie?” In the absence of most words, you held your arms out to him to let him know what you wanted.
“Are you sure? I mean look at me, I’m filthy.” He indicated to the state of himself, covered in dirt, with some fairly minor cuts and scrapes that were still bleeding.
“Don’t care. Please.”
This seemed to be enough for him to get the point, and he laid down beside you, wrapping his arms around you and holding you to his chest. You sniffled, relaxing into his embrace.
Jamie wanted to say something to make you feel better, but what was there to say? ’It’s okay, it’s not the end of the world’? That was neither true nor helpful. So he stayed silent, just holding you in his arms, occasionally pressing a soft kiss to your forehead when it sounded like you might start crying again.
He just hoped that, at least for now, that could be enough.