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No loud sound could be heard within the four corners of Soobin’s room except for the air conditioning that has been running since he came home. It was a peaceful kind of noise he would say as he continues to solve an advanced question from his calculus assignment. Along with the sound of his pen scratching the paper and a very low volume of the radio beside him that’s playing Abba’s SOS , Soobin would say it was a healing moment for him.
But the world will always be against your favors. Maybe Soobin could only dream for the healing moment to last. It’s laughable that he even thought that he would get a peaceful time as someone groaned and spoke out loudly right after Soobin’s train of thoughts.
“God, I wanna fucking die.”
Soobin shuts his eyes tightly as he tries to control the surge of his emotions. For god’s sake, everyone wants to die during finals week, especially when you are a senior desperately wanting to graduate. Soobin wants to close his notebooks right now and fly out of Earth but he didn’t say it out loud and disrupt someone else’s concentration.
He returned the groan as he whips his head to the side, “Do you have to be that loud?”
Beomgyu, the culprit of the loud noise, was already sprawled on Soobin’s bed, eyes closed, arms wide open, and growing hair that has blonde streaks were messy and disheveled.
Soobin completely forgot that he was coexisting with Beomgyu in his room. He’s a fool for thinking he could get peace and Beomgyu in one place.
“No, I can’t die right now. I haven’t caught up with Marmalade Boy,” Beomgyu whispers, completely ignoring the question from the older. The former, then, turns his head to Soobin, who only rolled his eyes at him and went back to studying.
It was hard to focus now, especially when your previous concentration has been broken down. Soobin went over his solution all over again but nothing was going in his head except for the song Please Mister Postman by The Beatles that’s now playing beside him.
And Beomgyu is staring at him. Right now. His eyes haven’t taken off him for the last 2 minutes and 36 seconds. 37 now. He can see it through his peripheral vision and the fact that the distance from his desk to the bed isn’t also that far for him, Beomgyu is not that hard to notice.
The main question is why is he bothered by Beomgyu’s stare? There’s no reason for his heart to pound, isn’t it? Beomgyu is an annoying person. Very annoying. And stupid. And his face is one of the prettiest he has ever seen that whenever Soobin’s angry at him, one pout clears it all.
Beomgyu is an annoyance to his life.
The annoying boy finally calls out, “Hyung.”
“Hm?” Soobin continues to stare and doodle at his paper, the focus he was talking about is completely gone by this point.
“Look at me.”
Despite the urge to not do it, completely ignore the younger’s request, and go on with his ‘And why would I do that?’ argument, Soobin did turn his head. Beomgyu’s tone was hard to just ignore, or maybe Soobin couldn’t just ignore Beomgyu at all. There’s nothing in between. Soobin couldn’t exactly tell why.
Beomgyu is still in the same position— head on Soobin’s pillow, yellow flannel falling from his shoulders, and Soobin could see his arms from wearing a white tank top beneath the flannel, his cherry chapstick covered lips parted— all of these happening as he gazes at Soobin.
Beomgyu is annoying. Annoyingly pretty for an 18-year-old boy.
Soobin only raised his eyebrow when the silence between them is already getting uncomfortable for him. Beomgyu just smiled at him and suddenly, he’s in a new position, his head resting on his hand, all his attention on Soobin now. If he wasn’t blushing earlier from all the staring Beomgyu was giving him, Soobin is certainly, definitely, covered in red tint now. From his ears to his neck.
He coughs and shifts in his seat as he looks away from Beomgyu who, like the bastard that he is, laughs as loud as he can. Soobin can only sit there and try to even out his breathing, he guesses that his lungs are not getting enough oxygen and in the next minute, he might pass out from brain damage due to lack of oxygen.
Soobin was completely wrong because not even less than a minute later, Beomgyu’s already blurting out a stupid question. His brain didn’t get the chance to shut down just to not hear the stupid inquiry.
“Hyung, how much money would you take to allow a boy to kiss you?”
Soobin’s coughs filled the room. His coughs are real now unlike earlier when it was all fake for him to get out of the tension he was feeling. It didn’t take too long for him to whip his head to Beomgyu again, the latter’s eyes filled with amusement, like seeing Soobin makes him happy and giddy.
“Why the fuck would I kiss anyone for money?”
Beomgyu only shrugged as a reply before his eyes started to twinkle like he just got a brand new idea to crush Soobin until he’s nothing but ash on the bedroom floor, “Oh, so, you do consider kissing a boy?”
Soobin wants to pass out right now.
“I don’t consider kissing anyone, Beomgyu,” he managed to mumble before he averted his gaze at the calendar in front of his desk. October 15, 1995. Such a nice date to have as a death anniversary date, Soobin thought.
“But hypothetically, in the future, a boy offers you 10,000 won for one kiss on the lips, would you accept it?” The tone in Beomgyu’s voice sounds like it’s filled with curiosity. Like he’s the boy who would offer to kiss Soobin. Which sounds so absurd and weird because why is Soobin thinking about Beomgyu kissing him?
Beomgyu’s lips are annoying. He uses that to tease him, to put on the annoying pout he does when he wants free ice cream from the Choi’s store. So, why would Soobin want to kiss that?
“No. Never,” Soobin said with finality—aggressiveness even—which made Beomgyu fake a gasp. His eyes weren’t on Beomgyu, still staring at the number-filled notebook page of his, but he knows that the boy was grinning at him.
“Jeez, Hyung, this is only hypothetical. No need to be so aggressive, huh?”
The older only scoffed and rolled his eyes for the nth time before he held his pen tighter, the object he clearly have forgotten ever since Beomgyu started talking. He needs to finish this for extra credit. Kissing Beomgyu won’t give him extra points in school.
After a few minutes of silence, Beomgyu still hasn’t stopped, “Maybe you want a higher offer. 15,000 won? You can buy a bunch of Pokemon cards with that.”
Shaking his head vigorously, Soobin is slowly losing hope in his assignment. In his weighted average this year. In trying to listen to another ABBA song that’s playing instead of the stupid things his best friend is saying. In recovering from the fall he’s feeling for Choi Beomgyu. Annoying Choi Beomgyu who’s talking about kissing on the lips and buying Pokemon cards in one sentence.
“You’re so boring, Soobin-hyung. Just say you don’t want to kiss a boy if that’s the problem,” the annoying Beomgyu replied, now gazing away from Soobin and finally sitting properly now on the bed to continue whatever he was doing before all the nonsensical things happened.
Soobin exhaled. He doesn’t have a problem with kissing a boy. Or a girl. He doesn’t care. He just doesn’t want to kiss anyone, but the boy in front of him who’s also the culprit of his brain rot right now.
“25,000 won. Will you stop the nonsense now?” Soobin has no idea where he got 25,000 won. That’s a little too low for the value of his heart-shaped lips, isn’t it? He just wants Beomgyu to stop or else he probably won’t have any filter in his mouth if they go on with this conversation.
“Hyung.”
A groan escaped Soobin’s lips. He doesn’t know what Beomgyu wants from him, but he’s just about to lose his shit. Yes, shit. His vocabulary right now has been reduced to kissing and Beomgyu.
Soobin is doomed.
“What now,” the older replies, voice laced with what Beomgyu guesses is frustration as Soobin finally lets go of his pen.
Beomgyu grins at him before saying, “Can I get a discount?”
Silence.
It took a few seconds before Soobin felt his heart drop right at that moment. He can feel his blood stop and explode into his entire body. Even his stomach which has recently been filled with tteokbokki feels funny.
What is Beomgyu up to?
“Stop joking right now, Beomgyu. It’s not funny.” Soobin threw a glare at him and Beomgyu puts on his defensive face.
Beomgyu is kneeling on the bed now, facing Soobin to explain whatever nonsense he just said to the older boy. For the first time that day, Beomgyu looked nervous. His fingers were fiddling with the hem of his flannel as he tries to find the words. His cheeks were just the same color as Soobin’s. Soobin wonders if Beomgyu is aware that whatever he’s doing to him is backfiring.
Soobin wonders if Beomgyu was serious with his question. Deep inside him, he wants Beomgyu to ask him a non-hypothetical question that will lead to him finally getting the kiss they keep on talking about.
The younger lets out a breathy chuckle, “Hypothetically! If I ask you in the future for a kiss with that price, will you lower the 25,000 won? You know, best friend discount.”
“No.”
Beomgyu looks down at the white sheets of Soobin’s bed, now avoiding Soobin’s stare at him as he mumbles lowly, “Psh, you hate me.”
And without missing a beat, without even thinking of the consequences his words will bring, Soobin just added the stupidest thing in his statement.
“I’ll kiss you for free.”
It didn’t take a few seconds for Beomgyu to look up. The moment Soobin finished his sentence, Beomgyu was already looking back with wide eyes. Just as wide as Soobin’s eyes right now. His mouth didn’t even get the chance to close as he contemplates the words that just escaped his throat.
Beomgyu looked at him with more confusion, his pretty eyebrows meeting, “What?”
Now is Soobin’s turn to panic. He couldn’t read what Beomgyu is feeling right now. He could feel his breath hitch because what if Beomgyu is actually just joking and he said that with such a serious tone, like Soobin actually wants to kiss him even though Beomgyu only sees him as his friend?
With crossed fingers that Beomgyu actually didn’t understand Soobin, he answered before finally looking away from the former, “I said I hate you for real.”
“No. You said you’ll kiss me for free.”
Oh, good Lord, Beomgyu heard him. He heard every word. Soobin only closed his eyes, hoping everything was just a nightmare that he can wake up from.
“Will you really kiss me for free, hyung,” Beomgyu asks in a whisper, a question meant only for Soobin to hear and no one else.
Soobin has to admit that this is now all too much to take. Beomgyu is now like a drug confusing him about what’s real and what’s not. Why would Beomgyu ask him if he would really kiss him for free like he didn’t know that Soobin would do that under any circumstance he’s in?
He has no other choice but to answer, looking up, and meeting Beomgyu’s anticipating big doe eyes.
Soobin almost stutters, sighing, “Yeah. I mean, I don’t know. Maybe you don’t want to kiss boys. Or you don’t want to kiss me. Whatever. Maybe. If you’re okay with it. Or with me.”
Beomgyu moves even more towards him, almost kneeling at the edge of the bed.
“I’m not asking hypothetically anymore, Soobin-hyung. You have to be serious. And you do know I like boys, right?” He continues to play with his flannel as he asks Soobin.
“I am serious! And when did you tell me you like boys?!”
This time, Beomgyu’s gasp isn’t the fake dramatic gasp he makes when he wants to play with Soobin. It was real, like Soobin was supposed to know what his sexual orientation is after being friends for almost 3 years now.
“We met in a book rental store, where you see me read shoujo mangas every Friday, so you’re the person who knows my obsession with shoujo mangas the best! How would you not know?!”
“Maybe it’s because I don’t believe in stereotypes like that. I don’t have some shoujo manga obsession but I would kiss a boy. I would kiss you!”
Beomgyu didn’t hesitate to answer. It was so fast it’s as if he already knew what Soobin was gonna say like he’s been waiting for Soobin to say those exact words.
“Then, kiss me!”
And Soobin isn’t that hard to get when it comes to Beomgyu. Beomgyu doesn’t need to say it twice. The older boy, right after Beomgyu answered, grabbed his forearm and pulled him firmly. Soobin doesn’t know what went in his head, but all he knows is that Beomgyu asked him to kiss him. Eyes stuck in Beomgyu’s glistening pink lips, he gently puts his own on top of it, finally, finally , discovering now that Beomgyu’s chapstick does taste like cherry, and Beomgyu’s lips are soft and they fit perfectly just like that. Beomgyu can’t help but put his free hand on Soobin’s shoulder, crumpling the shirt Soobin was wearing.
It felt like hours to both of them. In reality, it lasted only for 7 seconds. They didn’t move at all, too. They were both frozen, like two statues connected by the lips. Soobin was also the first to pull away, staring right at Beomgyu who has his eyes closed, fingers still gripping Soobin’s shoulder. That’s the only time Soobin realized that their position was too awkward, with Beomgyu kneeling on his bed and Soobin still sitting on his desk chair, which made Beomgyu a little taller than him.
He looks up a little at the younger boy who’s now staring at him, eyes hazy probably from everything that just happened in the past minutes.
Soobin, then, taps his lap. “Come here, we have to do it properly.”
Beomgyu looks at him with wide eyes, obviously flustered with the sudden change of positions. Soobin wants to laugh and tease him because this is the same boy who keeps on nagging him earlier if he would kiss a boy for money and even went far to ask if he could have a discount. Now that Soobin’s doing everything for free and only for him, Beomgyu looks shy with all the red slowly covering his face.
Beomgyu nodded and proceeded to sit on Soobin’s lap, both of them hearing the desk chair’s creaking noise. They only laughed as Beomgyu made himself comfortable on Soobin’s lap, slowly placing his arms around the latter’s neck and resting his head at the crook of it.
“Soobin-hyung,” he mumbles at his hyung’s skin.
“Hm?”
“I feel like I’m in a shoujo manga. But you know, we’re both boys.”
The younger one chuckled, but Soobin knew what Beomgyu meant. He only carded his fingers through Beomgyu’s growing hair, while the other hand moves up and down on Beomgyu’s back.
Soobin answers in a whisper right into Beomgyu’s ear, “One boy and one pretty boy.”
Beomgyu looked up at him, so he looked down a bit to meet his eyes and smile.
“Who’s the pretty boy?”
“You.”
His chest was hit by Beomgyu’s fast hand. He said something between the lines of Soobin being pretty, too, but the mentioned boy didn’t understand it so much because of how Beomgyu’s index finder was drawing circles at his nape.
Beomgyu sits up properly and faces him. Beomgyu’s hands are now holding his jaw, and Soobin cannot move his head anywhere but only at Beomgyu.
“Please kiss me properly now, hyung.” Soobin felt his world stop and it was as if Beomgyu’s face is the only thing he can see right now. Which is true because his whole vision has been invaded by Choi Beomgyu.
The older one breathes out an ‘Okay.’ before pulling Beomgyu by his waist. This time, Soobin was determined to kiss Beomgyu properly, so he did what he sees in those romance movies in the theaters. He tilted his head a little, smiling against Beomgyu’s lips when he felt Beomgyu kissing back and getting the hang of it. The younger one moves his hands from Soobin’s jaw to Soobin’s nape as he pushes Soobin further into his mouth. Beomgyu is also the first one who initiated putting some tongue in action, experimentally pushing his past Soobin’s lips. The older one can’t help but groan a little, holding Beomgyu by the waist tighter than before until there’s no more space in between their bodies.
If there’s anything to describe this moment, Soobin would say that this is his healing moment. He was wrong for thinking that healing and Beomgyu wouldn’t fit in one compound word or sentence, but right now, healing and Beomgyu are the same entity. It wasn’t the scenario earlier because kissing Beomgyu was so much better than anything else the world can offer to him. Even better than being alone in his room after a long day of school, listening to the cassette tapes he borrowed from his dad.
Soobin felt Beomgyu still drawing circles at his nape as they continue to move their tongues in unison. It tickles him, and it’s driving him crazy because it adds to the already tickling feeling of kissing the prettiest boy in town.
No one wants to stop whatever is happening. They’ve stopped a few times— only for a millisecond but still— to breathe a little and then dive back into each other. Soobin was already sucking Beomgyu’s bottom lip, leaving the other boy whining and almost moaning. Beomgyu’s hands are in a different place now, gripping the same shoulders as the first time.
“Hyung, hyung, Soobin.” Beomgyu sounds like he just ran for hours by the way that he breathes.
They finally moved away from each other’s lips, now left with just Soobin tracing Beomgyu’s cheeks and jaw with his nose as the latter continues to catch his breath. Beomgyu looks tired, head hanging low and resting once again on Soobin’s shoulder. Soobin has completely lost his self-control, now just peppering Beomgyu’s crown kisses.
“Is it that good?”
Beomgyu smiled against his shirt and nodded. “Mhm. But please improve the background music next time. Why the hell are we making out with Highway to Hell playing? It’s like you’re reminding me that being gay is a sin.”
The room was filled with laughter as Beomgyu grips Soobin’s shirt again to control his laugh. Really, Soobin’s shirt is like his physical way to remind himself when to stop, and the owner can’t help but find it cute and endearing.
“Sorry, the radio is out of my control, mister. Maybe we could wait for a good make-out song to come on next time.”
Beomgyu sits up now, eyes still looking lost and sleepy like the making-out session did tire him out. “Sure. That works.”
The younger one went back to his previous position and Soobin guesses that Beomgyu wants to sleep now. After all the chaos that has happened this afternoon, right now is the only time since earlier that Soobin’s room is only filled with the noise of the air conditioning and his radio. He continues to rest one hand on Beomgyu’s hips while the other combs Beomgyu’s hair. Does the position tire Soobin out? Yes. Beomgyu is not the lightest person in the world. Does Soobin plan to stop this moment? Never. No.
If Soobin could stay right in this moment for the next hundred, thousand, or million years, he would. If Soobin could stay in this moment, with Beomgyu peacefully resting in his arms, for an eternity, he would.
When Soobin was about to close his eyes, the person he thought was sleeping suddenly broke the silence in the room.
“Hypothetically, are you still not gonna give me the Best Friend discount?” The words from Beomgyu came out muffled and sort of strained. It seems like he was half-awake, making Soobin chuckle lightly.
“I won’t.”
Beomgyu groaned.
“But I can offer you the Boyfriend one, a lifetime 100% discount,” Soobin said with a smile.
The groan turned into a burst of sweet laughter, a sweet melody entering Soobin’s ear. Beomgyu kissed Soobin’s neck in return, then his jaw, then both of his cheeks. Soobin only looked at his eyes, letting himself be drowned in Beomgyu’s annoying beauty once again.
Beomgyu leaves a peck on his lips before saying, “Okay, I’ll be your pretty boyfriend.”
Soobin finally closes his eyes with a smile on his face, with a Beomgyu wrapped around him, and with Queen’s Crazy Little Thing Called Love playing quietly in the background.
He mentally noted a thank you for the first time that day to his 1985 Sony Radio for playing the right song that describes whatever happened earlier. His shameless mind even wishes that it plays the perfect make-out song after they wake up from their silly after-make-out nap.