Chapter Text
It was a nice day. All the days had been nice. There had been rather more than seven of them so far, and rain hadn’t been invented yet. But clouds massing east of eden suggested that the first thunderstorm was on its way, and it was going to be a big one.
The angel of the Eastern gate put his wings over his head to shield himself from the first drops. „I‘m sorry,“ he said politely, although with a hint of nervousness in his tone. „What was it You were saying?“ „I said, that one went down like a lead balloon,“ said the owl. „Oh. Yes,“ said the angel, whose name was Raphael. „I think it was a bit of an overreaction, to be honest,“ said the owl. „I mean, you were the one who tempted them into it. First offense and everything, i assume. Although, i can‘t see what‘s so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil, anyway.“ „It must be bad,“ reasoned Raphael, in the slightly concerned tones of one who can’t see it either, any is worrying about it,
„otherwise you wouldn’t have been involved.“ „Me?“ began the owl, confused. As far as he knows, he can trust his vision, and what he saw was not him that had tempted Eve to eat the apple. „If i recall correctly, your snakes were the ones slithering up the tree.“ „Yes, you.“ Raphael insisted. „That’s at least what your side has to think. You’d get the congratulations to being the first tempter, and i‘d have the entirety of heaven off my back.“ „Oh. Well, in that case, they just said, get up there and make some trouble,“ said the owl, whose name was Azrafel, although he was thinking of changing it now. Azrafel, he‘d decided, was not him.
„Yes, but you‘re a demon. I‘m not sure if it’s actually possible for you to do good,“ said Raphael. „It‘s down to your basic, you know, nature. Nothing personal, you understand“ „You‘ve got to admit it’s a bit of a pantomime, though“ said Azrafel. „I mean, pointing out the tree and saying 'don‘t touch' in big letters. Not very subtle, is it? I mean, why not put it on top Of a high mountain or a long way off? Makes you wonder what he‘s really planning.“ „Best not to speculate, really“ said Raphael. „You can‘t second-guess ineffablilty, I always say. There‘s right, and There is wrong. If you do wrong, when you‘re told to do right, you deserve to be punished. Er.“ They sat in embarrassed silence, watching the raindrops bruise the first flowers.
Eventually, Raphael said, „Didn‘t you have a flaming sword?“ The demon only smirked at that. „You did, didn’t you?“ said Raphael. „It flamed like anything“ „Well-„
„It looked very impressive, i thought“
„Yes, it did, but-„
„Lost it, have you?“
„Oh no! I didn’t lose it, I-„
„Well?“
Azrafel looked a bit annoyed now. „If you must know, i gave it away.“ Raphael stared up at him. „Well, i had to“ said the demon, crossing his arms. „They’re hardly going to survive without it. You angels love your poor humans so much, don’t you? Eve is expecting already, so i gave them something to fight with. It’s some good old mischief, too. I just said, look, if you come back there is going to be an almighty row, but you might be needing this sword, so here it is, please don’t thank me, just don’t die yet.“
Azrafel showed Raphael a prideful grin. „That was the best course, wasn’t it?“ „I’m not sure it’s actually possible for you to do good,“ Raphael repeated his words from earlier. Azrafel didn’t notice it. „Oh, i do hope so,“ he said“ I really do hope so. I‘ve been prideful of it all afternoon.“ They watched the rain for a while. „Funny thing is,“ said Raphael „I keep wondering whether the apple thing wasn’t the wrong thing to do as well. An angel can get into real trouble, doing the wrong thing.“ the demon nudged the angel „funny if we both got it wrong, hm? Funny if you did the wrong thing and i did the right one, hm?“ „Not really“ said Raphael. Azrafel looked at the rain. „No,“ he said, sobering up. „i suppose not.“
Slate-black curtains tumbled over Eden. Thunder growled amongst the hills. The animals, freshly named, cowered from the storm. Far away, in the dripping woods, something bright and fiery flickered among the trees. It was going to be a dark and stormy night.