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Slender fingers traced along an equally delicate neck that—so pale and translucent, one might mistake them for a ghost's even if their owner were still amongst the living. Shi Wudu's hand stopped across a clean, celestial scar that raked its way across his neck, a painful reminder of a memory he wished he could forget. A reminder of how he parted ways with the world.
Floating in what felt like an ocean of galaxies, the former god was neither alive nor dead. He could move, he could drift. Waves of stars would pass through his ethereal form on occasion, punching holes in his shimmering sleeves. Bound to the sky in eternal silence, he could only watch from above. He could only listen.
The vast expanse of space granted his eyes a darkness in which Shi Wudu repented for his many sins. This emptiness, this pain, this loneliness—Shi Wudu knew he deserved all of it. He was an ulcer of Heaven, a tyrant. He lost everything.
The clear blues and verdant greens of the planet below smiled warmly at him though. As if to taunt him, the Earth beamed in the form of tiny specks of golden light which rose from her surface.
Shi Wudu's shoulders sank.
The Lantern Festival. How could he forget? He wondered how his old pantheon fared in the year since his passing. By the radiance of the display beneath him, Shi Wudu could only presume all was well.
Trailing stardust behind him, the former Water Master turned a shoulder, knowing that light was not meant to brighten the darkness he found himself in now. No, those lanterns were for gods, and none of them would survive this high in the sky.
Despite knowing this, Shi Wudu somehow felt warm. It was faint at first and only perceptible to the former god who had grown so accustomed to living in this void due to the stark contrast in temperature.
A comet, perhaps.
But for the first time in a year, Shi Wudu felt pressure on the small of his back. When he turned to face it, his eyes widened.
Floating there, thousands of miles higher than any other, was a paper lantern, glowing softly with his name written upon it in blue ink.
How could this be? No mortal could worship a dead god. No one should remember the Water Tyrant.
But the lanterns that continued to drift towards him proved otherwise. The celestial being tried to show them away, but his hands phased through the paper casings.
Bewildered but touched, Shi Wudu descended, following the trail of lanterns down through the clouds. The planet's features slowly defined themselves into the familiar landscape the former god had previously nurtured. Bright cities, vast, rolling hills, steep peaks that pierced the sky—Shi Wudu remembered them all.
Slowing his celestial fall with a flutter of his elegant sleeves so as not to leave a streak across the night sky, he discovered the source of the lanterns.
Sitting limply over a pile of materials was a man. Alone. Broad in the shoulders. He likely would tower over most mortals if he stood straight. His tangled, dark hair was pulled into a high ponytail above his head so that his wild mane cascaded down his shoulders.
Shi Wudu felt his breath catch in his throat. Even in the low light, he recognized this man. Pei Ming.
Approaching carefully, the former god landed beside him, tilting his head to get a better look.
This was not the Pei Ming that Shi Wudu remembered. The man before him now was sparsely decorated, wearing a simple black robe made of stiff fabric unbefitting of its proud wearer. Slouched over the next lantern, his normally charming and charismatic face was sunken and dull. Even his hair seemed like an afterthought today.
Pei Ming groaned, muttering something under his breath while his muscular arm extended through Shi Wudu's ghostly form to land on a large jar of wine. Tugging it towards him, Pei Ming wasted no time in chugging it down.
Aghast at the display before him, Shi Wudu pulled at the general's arms, exclaiming, "A-Ming, stop this! Straighten yourself!"
But of course, Pei Ming could not hear him, leaving Shi Wudu only to watch his Adam's apple bob up and down and his neck tilt back to finish the whole jar.
"A-Ming…" Shi Wudu sighed woefully, drifting in front of the man he treasured in his immortal life to cup his somber face in his hands. Pei Ming's lifeless eyes hooded, only gazing down to drunkenly continue his work. By the pile of empty jars next to him, it was clear he had been here a while.
With no body, no soul, and certainly no heart to speak of, the pain Shi Wudu felt was akin to a burning; as if all the stars that made his current form had suddenly gone out in a violent burst of energy. Though his hands could not reach him, Shi Wudu threw his arms around the other and hung from his neck, wanting desperately to turn back time, to right his wrongs—just to touch him again. If only he could have fixed everything, this general’s heart wouldn't be so shattered.
"I'm so sorry…" came a stifled, hoarse voice, "I failed you, didn't I?"
Burying a face of stardust into Pei Ming's chest, Shi Wudu shook his head, "No, never! I—"
"I said I'd always protect you. Heh, look at me now. I can't protect anyone."
"That's not true!" Shi Wudu pounded a fist against Pei Ming, wishing he could snap his beloved out of it, but it made no contact. "You couldn't have fixed this…This was all my fault…"
Pei Ming leaned back drunkenly, his head cocked to one side and unable to hold himself upright. In this intoxicated state, his handwriting suffered. Despite intense focus, his brush slipped down, leaving a smear across Shi Wudu’s name.
"Fucking hell, " he breathed angrily. Shi Wudu quietly laid down on top of him.
"My handwriting is…isn't so good today, forgive me Water Master-xiong. I hope you're not mad at me…Hah, you were always so cute when you were mad though ahh.”
A steady heartbeat quickened from beneath the spirit, who couldn't discern if it were from all the alcohol he consumed or something else. What did it matter though? He was already gone. Had this been a year ago, perhaps he might have given the general a side eye. Shi Wudu could always tell what the other man was thinking by the pace of his heartbeat alone.
As much as he craved the warmth of Pei Ming's chest, the softness of his lips, and his tender, loving hands, he could have none of it now.
A choked voice came from below, "I miss you…I love you…"
"Please forget me and move on!" Shi Wudu pleaded upon deaf ears.
"I'll never forget you."
The stars in the Water Master's constellation flickered, "No…A-Ming…you can't…"
Downing another jar of wine, the inebriated, red and sullied face of Pei Ming drifted skyward. "I sometimes wonder if you're up there. Can you see me? Do you miss me too?" His tone was almost childish.
Nodding, Shi Wudu murmured, "You idiot, of course I do."
An uncoordinated arm shot through the grass to snatch the nearly finished lantern. With a snap of his fingers, a small flame danced across the candle inside, illuminating Pei Ming's face fully in the night.
His thick brows furrowed, covered by stringy, matted bangs. His eyes were red and puffy, and his face wet. Shi Wudu had never seen his lover like this before.
"Smile again A-Ming…" Shi Wudu's thoughts were almost like a prayer; one that he hoped some shooting star would make come true.
"I don't know where you are now," Pei Ming paused to correct his horrendous brushwork. "But I hope this light finds you…and that you know that I…miss you so much…please rest well my love."
With that, he let go of the lantern.
The two men both turned their gaze to the night sky, but the lantern did not rise. Instead, it hovered beside Shi Wudu's celestial chest.
"You've found me," Shi Wudu murmured, his long, delicate lashes fluttering over his eyes as he looked longingly at the man beneath him.
As if his wish had been fulfilled, Pei Ming's face softened, and a faint warmth returned to him.
"Wudu…!" He reached a hand out, and this time, just for an instant, Shi Wudu could feel something tangible. His starry body suddenly felt fragile, as if he would scatter into dust at any moment. But Pei Ming was as gentle as always, thumbing the pad of his finger lightly across Shi Wudu's translucent cheek. “You…”
The pair shared a longing gaze and pained smiles. The universe must have taken pity upon them.
The former god tilted his slim face into Pei Ming's hand, turning to plant a kiss on his quivering palm. "Thank you for the lanterns," he said, feeling the moment drawing to an end. "I'll take them with me, so don't cry for me, okay?"
Pei Ming silently nodded, fighting back his emotions as his lover's hand faded away into stardust once more, as if pulled back by the sky itself. His hand fell limply across his eyes to fight back the tears, but he smiled, mouthing, “Farewell for real.”
Floating upwards in a cloud of light formed by Pei Ming's lanterns—his love—Shi Wudu's starlit form swelled with warmth. Finally, there could be closure.
Somehow, the sky didn't feel so dark anymore.