Work Text:
Welcome!
Everything is Fine.
The words, large, friendly and green were the first thing Leone saw when he opened his eyes. It was hard to say where he was or how he got here. He vaguely recalled a bus, but not much else. Honestly, he had the feeling that it didn't really matter all that much.
Before he could mentally retrace his steps. The door to his left opened and a smiling, beautiful young blonde gentleman gestured to him.
"Leone?"
He nodded and the young man waved him inside. "Come on in!"
Inside the office was calming, like visiting a therapist, or one of those exceptionally pricy rehab clinics. As the other man settled in a high-backed chair behind the desk, Leone took the one on the other side, feeling like he was about to interview for a job.
"Hi, Leone. I'm Giorno. How are you today?"
"I'm fine, thanks for asking," Leone replied, unsure why he couldn't quite keep the smile off his face. "I do have some questions?"
The young man smiled and folded his hands on his desk, nodding his permission.
"Where am i? Who are you? And what's going on?"
"Ah. Right," he cleared his throat and seemed to sit up taller. "You, Leone Abbacchio, are dead. Your time on the Earth has ended and you are now at the next phase of your existence in the universe."
"Oh."
The answer should have been a surprise. Somehow, it wasn't.
"I see... Alright. Um... so how did I die? I don't remember."
"Yes, well, in the case of traumatic or embarrassing deaths, we erase the memory to allow for a more peaceful transition. Are you, ah, sure you wanna know?"
Leone swallowed hard and nodded.
"Well," he pulled up a file on his desk and opened it, "it says here that you were finishing your third bottle of grocery store clearance aisle wine in a gas station parking lot when you received a call from your ex inviting you to his wedding. It goes on to say that you wandered into traffic and-"
"Did I get hit by a car?!"
"Uh," he read on, "no, actually. The car missed you, but it did make you drop your bag of sex toys you'd just purchased from across the street. Yeah... says that a bottle of lubricant rolled under your foot and you fell pretty hard. Now, it wasn't the fall that killed you, but the giant dildo that then fell onto your face. Hilariously enough, it says that the first person to find your body was actually the girl you took to the prom in high-school. She, uh, is quoted in saying 'I found a trail of penis enlargment pills and then I found my exs body. He looked like sh-'"
"Okay. Okay. Thanks. Thats enough." Leone winced, then put his face in his hands. "Oh, shirt. This is all forked up. " Leone hissed, then paused as his own words settled over him. "Fork. Fork! Why can't I say fork?!"
"Ah, swearing is forbidden here. We sensor all profanity."
"...Fork. So then I'm... y'know?" He pointed downward with a raised brow and Giorno laughed.
"Well, actually, quite the opposite." The blond smiled warmly. "You're in The Good Place, Leone."
Leone Abbacchio knew this was incorrect. There was no way. He had no aspirations for Heaven when he was alive. He'd hardly lived the life of a Saint. So how had he managed this? What clerical error had landed him here? Could Heaven make mistakes?
Apparently so, because he now stood in a stunning utopia. Flowers of every shade and shape dotted the town. Every person he passed was smiling, waving, apparently thrilled to be here in their perfect afterlife.
But it wasn't until after he passed his third boba tea shop that it sunk in.
This was a mistake and someone would find out. He'd get sent to the bad place for sure. When he did, well, it was hot pokers and demons for him.
"Leone!" Giorno called with a friendly wave. "There you are! I have someone for you to meet."
Leone cursed and slowly turned around to face the Architect with a forced smile. Then a genuine smile bloasomed because behind Giorno was an Angel.
He had to be an angel. Black hair cropped to his chin, eyes like sapphire, a brilliant smile and perfect teeth. Even the bangs, which honestly should not work, suited him flawlessly.
"Oh, fork..." he breathed as the beautiful man approached.
"Leone Abbacchio, I'd like you to meet Bruno Bucciarati. Your soulmate."
Leone blinked, certain now that this was, in fact, very much Heaven. How could it not be? And there was no way he deserved this.
"Leone... Abbacchio, was it?" God, his voice was angelic too. Leone swallowed hard as he stepped forward, tucking a strand of black hair behind his ear with a shy lip bite. "Pleasures all mine."
"I- oh. Yeah, me t-too," he stuttered, eyeing the man in front of him with equal parts wonder and fear. "Wait-" he turned back to Giorno, brows knitted, "Soulmates are real?!"
To this, Bruno burst out laughing and it sounded like, well, heaven.
"I was surprised too!" He chuckled, reaching out to take one of Leone's hands. "But... now that I've met you, it makes sense, I think."
Giorno cleared his throat and took a step back.
"I'll just, uh, leave you to it!" He smiled between them and left shouting over his shoulder, "if you need anything, I'll be around."
Leone wasn't listening. Everything in him was far too busy looking at the hand clasped in his. Why couldn't he shake the feeling that they'd done this before?
"Well? Should we go home together then?" Bruno asked, smiling at him through a curtain of black hair.
"Home. Yeah," Leone muttered, distracted. "Hey, uh, when we get to... wherever that is, can I talk to you? I mean, you're my... soulmate or whatever. Means I can tell you anything, right?"
"Of course!" Bruno replied, gently pulling him along the path. "Anything and everything. We have eternity."
Eternity. The thought had terrified Leone before simply due to the enormity of it. Now, however, the fact that this eternity could end st any moment frightened him even more.
"You know..." Leone muttered, "it's weird. I feel like we've met before."
"I feel the same, actually. Part of being soulmates, I guess?" Bruno stopped suddenly as they rounded a corner, grinning at a little house by the beach. "Welcome home, Soulmate."
Leone opened his mouth to speak, to tell him that there was a mistake. That he didn't belong here.
I'll do it later, he decided, putting the guilt away as Bruno tugged him through sand towards a Heaven he knew he absolutely did not deserve.
After all, it is never too late to try to be better.
Right?