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one hundred forty-five, one hundred forty-six, one hundred forty-seven... junkyu continues to count all of the sheep he can think of at the moment, and then more. as might be plainly deduced, he is having trouble sleeping. his body is fatigued after today's practice, but his mind is devoid of any elements that could cause him to fall asleep at any time. he lies down in his bed and looks up at the ceiling with a blank expression. he stares at it for a long time that everything would blend with the gray-colored ceiling. he would shake it off and get back to counting sheep.
junkyu can't imagine how many farms he must have been to, to be able to count this many sheeps. falling asleep has always been a problem of his. sometimes, he would sleep for a whole day or even more and there are times like this when even closing his eyes feels like a job. junkyu stops counting and listens to the sounds of his surrounding which seems to be a bit louder than usual. he can hear the loud ticking of the alarm clock sitting atop his bedside table, the little noise that his air condition makes, and the steady beating of his heart. for some reasons unknown to him, junkyu's chest sinks and a familiar feeling starts to creep in. he sighs loudly, attempting to brush off whatever's coming for him.
he rises from his bed and glances at the clock next to him. it says 2:40am. it's too late to be called a night, yet it's not quite early enough to be considered a morning. he rises to his feet and opens the door to his room slowly. and is greeted by a chilly breeze that dances through the living area of their dormitory. his feet automatically make their way towards the room across his. his steps are feather-like, as if he is trying his hardest not to make a single sound that would wake up the sleeping neighbor on the opposite side of the door. he slowly turns the doorknob and it created a loud click as he successfully turns it. junkyu sighs and bites his lower lip in frustration.
"it's okay. i'm awake, junkyu." his body jerks at the sudden voice coming from inside. a sound of hiccup escapes from his mouth as he steps inside the room. he tries his best to hide it but the tiny hiccup sounds are fighting their way out.
junkyu's welcomed by an angel flashing a tiny but perfect smile. he is sitting on his bed, with his back against the bed frame, legs covered with a thick comforter.
"i'm sorry, did i wake you up?" junkyu says which is then followed by another hiccup sound. his eyes widens as he put a hand to cover this mouth.
"cute." says the other.
"no, no. you didn't. come here." he continues and motions junkyu to sit beside him.
"why are you still up?" junkyu asks as he tries his best to stop the hiccups.
"i was talking with my sisters."
"oh, okay then. i'll go now so you can continue talking to them." junkyu attempts to get up from the bed but a hand wraps around his wrist to stop him.
"no, we're done talking. you can stay," he says as he puts down his phone on the table. he pulls junkyu which made the latter's body fall on the bed.
"yoshi-yah..." the nickname certainly has an effect on yoshi's system. or, it really isn't the nickname because technically, it is not even a nickname and everyone calls him that. maybe it is junkyu who has /the/ effect on him, and the way he says his name with his soft but a bit raspy voice.
this is a familiar scenario between the two. junkyu would often come over his room, mostly on nights like this, when his mind is betraying him and won't let him sleep everything off. yoshi, on the other hand, would always welcome him with open arms, quite literally most of the time.
"would you like to talk about it?" yoshi asks. he draws junkyu in a little closer. allowing him to use his right arm as a pillow, and wrapping junkyu's arm around his waist. yoshi likes this. no, he loves it. he loves it when junkyu comes over to seek refuge, he enjoys it when junkyu speaks to him in his tiny cute voice, and he enjoys it when junkyu curls up into him like a cotton ball. junkyu has a huge body frame; with his long and lanky legs and broad shoulders, he is certainly not a tiny man.but at times like this, yoshi is amazed at how delicate and tiny junkyu can be. and he certainly enjoys it. every single bit of it.
junkyu let out a tiny 'no', so soft yoshi almost couldn't hear it. he scoots closer to the older and pulls him closer to him so that he may hug him back up to himself. junkyu has always loved yoshi's hugs. actually, it must be his favorite thing, which he could not share with anyone, especially not with haruto, who would undoubtedly sulk if he found out. yoshi's embraces are warm and comforting. they have a cozy, homey feel to them. he likes how yoshi's long arms wrap around him as if he is shielded from the outside world. he loves it when yoshi slowly pats his back and draws small circles on it, and most certainly, he loves it when yoshi places small kisses on top of his head. junkyu is one of the older members and he rarely shows skinships with his bandmates. it's a different story with yoshi. he loves it when he's being babied like this - enveloped with warm arms.
"are you sure? you know you can tell me everything, right?" yoshi pulls himself away to have a proper look on junkyu's face. he looks tired, exhausted even. the bags under his eyes are a major giveaway. his face is paler than usual and the playful aura that he usually exude is gone.
junkyu doesn't protest about what yoshi said, he surely can. yoshi is a good listener and he gives decent advices. he knows when to listen and when to speak. he always knows the right words to say, and the words junkyu always wanted to hear.
junkyu took a deep sigh. collecting all the things that have been messing with his mind lately ㅡ and they're quite a lot, not leaving a single space for other thoughts. junkyu is a very introverted person. he doesn't talk much to other people nor interact with them. he's 'bad with people' just like what jihoon once said. it took him months to get close to his fellow trainees at the start. and he might not have been best friends with jihoon if it wasn't for the latter offering a dinner treat once. junkyu doesn't like being center of attention. he prefers being on the background, listening and observing.
junkyu doesn't like talking about himself. he's used to people talking about themselves and their problems to him. as one of the older members, he's used to the younger ones coming to him and seeking refuge, especially the cry babies named haruto and yedam. but now, he's on the other end of the table. he's the one seeking refuge to yoshi's arms and curling up to his warm embrace. but that isn't really surprising at all because yoshi has that kind of vibe with him. even though they're of the same age, yoshi's always felt like an older brother, one who always have his shoulder ready for anyone to cry on, one who takes care of everybody in many ways as possible. junkyu believes yoshi must have grown up in a home full of love to be able to give this much.
“nothing, really. i’m just really worried about our upcoming comeback. it has been a while, yosh. and i might have forgotten how to perform in front of people, let alone our fans who are expecting us to see a flawless performance. what if i make mistakes on stage? what if my voice cracks in the middle of the performance?” junkyu confides, he noticed that the hiccups are now gone. yoshi pulled him much closer and so snuggled into yoshi’s chest. he feels warm, probably from the body heat that yoshi is exerting, but it’s more of an internal feeling. he can feel the warmth spreading through his chest as he lets go of the words he just said.
yoshi hugged junkyu and gently pats his head. “i understand, junkyu. it must have been tough for you. thank you for telling me this. i just wanna tell you that it’s okay to take a break sometimes, i know the training could be very exhausting and draining, we all know it so we will definitely understand if you want to take a break sometimes. and you’re definitely doing good, junkyu.”
“am i really though?” yoshi could almost see him pout.
“well, from a point of view of a fan, you really are doing amazing, kim junkyu.” yoshi says and gently pats junkyu’s back.
junkyu slightly moves away from their bundled bodies to get a glimpse of the other’s face. “point of view of a fan, huh.”
“oh you didn’t know? i have always been your biggest fan, junkyu. you dont know how much i scream for you every time you perform on stage.”
yoshi waves his hand to mimic a fan cheering and says, “you are so cool, junkyu! junkyu oppa, i love you!”
junkyu then bursts into laugh. “stop it! you look so silly!”
“oh, are you saying the fans look silly when they’re cheering for you?” yoshi fakes a gasp.
“no! only you! silly yoshi!”
yoshi continues with her actions which made junkyu laugh a little louder than one’s supposed to, at three in the morning.
the two of them came to a halt when they heard a knock on yoshi's door. the door did not open, but they could hear hyunsuk speaking from the other side of the door., “guys, please let us all sleep. my body is killing me, let me sleep already. stop laughing! there’s nothing funny at this hour of the day.”
“sorry! we’ll sleep now, hyung!” yoshi shouted in whisper.
he then turned to face junkyu, who was now chewing his lower lip and staring at him with wide-open eyes.. “it’s your fault!”
“sorry! i didn't mean to! it's because you were being so funny!”
“okay, i forgive you, but only on one condition.”
“what is it?”
“give me an autograph tomorrow, junkyu oppa!”
the two cuddled closer as they giggle the night away.