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English
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Published:
2022-05-05
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469
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1/1
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How To Care For Your Ushi

Summary:

A guide on how to care for Ushi. Written by Arataki Itto, and edited by Kuki Shinobu.

Work Text:

It’s me, the one and only Ataraki Arataki Itto. You may know me as the #1 beetel beetle fighting champion in inazooma Inazuma, or as the #4 largest donator to the Miss Hina Fan Club [Wait, whose mora are you donating!?]. Also, I claim the top spot for most times aressted arrested in a single month [Why would you mention this?]. I am hoping to break my record next month by working even harder [Itto??].

I own a pet bull named Ushy Ushi. His name is written 半 [No, it’s written ] which means bull. This is because he is a bull [Riveting]. Caring for him is really hard and sometimes Shinobu scolds corrects me if I do it wrong. It is really scary and no one should have to go through that, so to protect everyone else [???] I will teech teach you all how to care for Ushy Ushi.

Onely Firstly, he needs to eat a lot. He is a veterinarian vegetarian, so he can only eat plants. Sometimes I offer him grass, but he won’t eat it. This is because he doesn’t reelize realize that it’s food. To fix this, I eat some in front of him [What!?] so that he knows it’s food. Shinobu also orders asks me not to let him eat naku weed, but sometimes I do because it puts him right to sleep! [We’re talking about this.]

Speeking Speaking of sleep, he needs to sleep for at least 12 hours a day. During the other 18 hours [?] he should be allowed to play. His favorite toy is the rock Shinobu threw at me gave me when I asked her if Kujou Tengu was her boyfriend [This doesn’t even make sense!]. He really likes to chew on it, and I do too. I would be happy to lend it to anyone in need.

Finally, it is important to talk to Ushy Ushi. He gets lonely when no one spends time with him. He is also a really good lissener listener. I like to open up to him about things I can’t talk about with anyone else [Itto… :( you can always talk to me]. Like how they put my vision at the bottom of the statue [Nevermind]. Whenever I talk about that, one of us always starts crying.

Thank you for reeding reading this guide. It took me 3 months to right write this, but it’s like they say. The journey of a thousand birds is worth two in the bush [What does this mean!?]. I hope everyone has a better idea of how to care for Ushy Ushi. If you have more questions, you can usually find me at Cell #1 in the Tengu Condition Tenryou Commission jailhouse. They let me stay in Cell #1 because I’m the one and only, Ataraki Arataki Itto!