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Your quickened breathing was the only thing heard for a while as you tried to suppress your moans of pain. The redness on your golden uniform started to become more visible as the seconds passed. You tried to laugh when you remember the joke you made just before beaming down. It doesn't sound that funny considering the situation you're in now, but when you look at the man just meters away from where you lay, you don't feel sober enough to think of another idea to erase the sadness from his face. "Do you know what I think?" Even if your murmur sounds a little shaky -because you needed to stop after every one or two words for take a deep breath- when he turned his blue eyes, you tried to smile. You didn't let him see a hint of tiredness on your face. At least you hoped that you succeeded this. "Perhaps this popular bias towards red uniforms is just a myth." Seconds before, he was just trying to imitate your tired smile but after you reminded that joke, his laugh was genuine. Even when you feel your every cell crying in pain, you couldn't help but noticing that Jim's smile wasn't filled with happiness, but you obviously succeeded in erase the sadness from his face.
"When it comes to get in trouble, there is no difference between colors of shirts. The deal is which one you choose to wear. Looks like trouble has a habit to look for you." You forced a laugh, but this time your laugh ended with coughs. He looked at you and sadness filled his face again. "I just need you to hang on a little bit." When you two heard communicator's beep, Jim quickly took it and come over you. "Kirk's here." For a few seconds there were no replies and you saw he was tensing again. "Kirk to Enterprise. Can you hear me Enterprise?" You heard Scotty's fussy voice. "Captain. Engines don't response to our orders for beaming and we are trying to regain control." Jim threw a glance at your side and took a deep breath. You tried to tighten your grip on his hand but you can barely hold his hand. "Scotty, you really need to hurry. Y/N needs to go to sickbay as soon as possible. Tell Bones we have an emergency, he needs to be ready at beaming room. We already lost a lot of time." Scotty kept telling something to Jim but you didn't hear the rest.
"Y/N." You tried to make sense of dark but after trying a little bit, you decided that it is not that important. But that worried, familiar voice kept calling your name. "Y/N." Seconds later you opened your eyes, felt burning pain in your eyes at once and closed your them again. "I need you to stay with me." Jim tighten his grip for keeping you awake but your senses were getting weaker by time, you didn't feel any pressure on your hand. "Jim." Your voice was wobbly but when you opened your eyes, you looked at his eyes directly. "I'm sorry." He shook his head furiously and interrupted you. "No. Not now. If you want to apologise, you'll do it in sickbay. When Bones taking a good care of you." You felt your eyes filling with tears. "Please..." Even if you don't feel anything, you tried to give his hand a squeeze. "You know that I'm not gonna make it. I know, too... No need to make things complicated. I know that you don't like farewells. So, I won't bid farewell." You took a shaky breath. "Just... I'm sorry that I never let you know that I love you." He was caressing your hand when you were trying to talk. "Yeah, right, you never let me know." He tried to look calm but his eyes were too wet for a scam. "But I knew that you love me. Just like you knew that I love you. For years, for a lifetime." You nodded. "For a lifetime."
When your vision blurred, you heard that voice again. "Y/N."
This time, it took nearly two minutes to open your eyes again and look at him. He was looking like he needs to say something. So even if you have difficulty to form a sentence, you smiled encouragingly and arched eyebrows. "I want to-" He hesitated. You just looked each other's eyes for a few seconds. Even your breathe calmed. "I want to kiss you." You smiled tearfully. "While your lips are still red." Even if you don't have so much time, he was a gentleman and waited for your consent. You nodded and he kissed you. You wanted to live in this moment forever with him but when he pulled away after seconds, you already knew this precious moment was your first and final kiss.
When you closed your eyes for good, he held you tightly and buried your head into his chest. "Goodbye, Y/N." He needed more time to bid his unevitable farewell.