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Hanta and Shouto tiptoed around their feelings for each other for ages, but once Shouto started courting Hanta, they finally got together and from then on they were completely honest with one another right away. Even early on in their relationship, they discussed marriage and agreed they wanted a small wedding with just close family and friends. They also agreed that they didn’t want to spend more than a couple of weeks away from each other at a time, so they either turned down long missions or one of them would take time off of work so they could accompany the other. When they talked about potentially starting a family, they both found that neither of them were very enthused at the thought of having kids— life as a pro hero was already dangerous and unpredictable, and Hanta was uneasy thinking about how pregnancy would change his body.
There were obviously things they disagreed on, like where they wanted to live (Hanta wanted to get an apartment close to the agency, Shouto wanted to get an apartment that was directly above his favorite soba shop) or whether they were going to change their last names when they finally did get married (Hanta thought it was old-fashioned, Shouto wanted to fulfill his teenage dream of becoming Sero Shouto which is the name he used to doodle in all of his old U.A. notebooks).
Mostly, though, being with each other was the easiest and most wonderful and natural thing either of them had ever done, even more than deciding to become a hero.
Lately, however, Hanta was feeling off. Not that he was unhappy— how could he ever be, with someone as beautiful and loving as Shouto? He didn’t realize what exactly he was feeling until one day when he was at a routine medical check-up.
“Everything looks good,” the doctor concluded at the end of his examination. “You’re very healthy, especially for a pro hero. I’d say now would be the perfect time to try for pups if you and your husband are ready. I can give you some reading materials on pregnancy—”
“Nah,” Hanta said with a smile. “We don’t want kids.”
It was something he’d said a thousand times before, something he never thought twice about, but suddenly it felt like an enormous lie.
Because now all he could think about was what his and Shouto’s children would be like. Would their hair be a blend of red, white, and black? Would their quirks be element-based like Shouto’s and slightly heteromorphic like Hanta’s? Would they have Shouto’s pretty face, his warm smile, his subtle humor—
“Cellophane?”
Hanta blinked out of his stupor and looked back at his doctor. “Sorry, I uh. Zoned out for a second.”
“No worries!” the doctor. “I was just saying that unless you have any questions, you’re good to go.”
“Right. Thanks.”
Hanta walked stiffly out of the medical offices and frowned to himself as he made his way to the subway. His body felt on high alert— the same jittery sensation he experienced when he’d forgotten to do something very important, or messed something up badly.
Which was fitting, because holy shit, since when did he want kids ?
It was just a phase, it had to be. Because just like him, Shouto had always been very certain that he didn’t want kids. And there was no way in hell that Hanta would mess up their relationship for what had to be a silly biological urge.
But it had to be more than just biology, because his heat wasn’t due for a while and his doctor just confirmed his hormones were at a normal level. Whatever he was feeling… well, it was a problem.
As he got off the train at his station he could tell that his normally herbal, airy scent had soured with his distress. Quickly, he controlled his emotions and his scent went away; it was something he was practiced at because scent patches weren’t always an option at work.
He forced himself to grin widely when he opened the front door and was immediately tackled into a hug by his husband.
“Roki,” he said, his voice muffled as he pressed his face against Shouto’s neck.
“How was the doctor? Everything okay?” Shouto asked quietly, stroking Hanta’s hair.
“Y-yeah,” Hanta said, pulling back from their embrace. “Doc said I’m in good shape. Good enough to carry pups.” He laughed.
Shouto scowled. “I wish more people could understand that not everyone is equipped to become a parent.”
Hanta finally felt his omega stir at that statement. Alpha doesn’t think you’re fit to have his pups. Bad omega, bad…
He ignored the way his chest felt tight and laughed again. “Yeah, I know right? But nah, the doctor was chill. He was just offering his advice just in case.”
“Good,” Shouto nodded and pecked him on the mouth before heading to the kitchen. “Takeout just got here, I ordered you curry.”
“Ah,” Hanta said, hoping he didn’t sound as weak as he felt. “My favorite.”
Hanta was quieter than usual that evening, but somehow remained calm enough that Shouto didn’t notice that Hanta felt like he was wilting. When they went to bed, Hanta said he was tired when Shouto kissed him deeply and started fondling him.
“Okay,” Shouto whispered, smiling before giving him one more kiss. “I love you, Hanta.”
“Love you, Sho.”
As exhausted as he was, Hanta couldn’t fall asleep, even with Shouto’s strong arms wrapped securely around him. He was fighting hard not to cry, focusing on controlling his scent rather than focusing on the fact that for the first time, he and the love of his life wanted very different things.
Hanta wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, but suddenly he was being shaken awake.
“Hanta,” Shouto breathed. “Are you having a nightmare? Your scent—“
Right. It wasn’t like Hanta could control his scent while he was sleeping. The room was filled with the stench of a mold-like smell.
“What’s wrong?” Shouto’s vibrant eyes were wide with worry, visible even in the darkness of their bedroom. His earl grey and cucumber scent began to overtake Hanta’s distressed one. “Why are you crying?”
“Yeah, just a bad dream,” Hanta choked out. Despite everything, Shouto’s familiar and soothing scent was helping him to calm down. “Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about,” Shouto murmured, using gentle fingers to wipe away Hanta’s tears. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Hanta shook his head.
“Okay,” Shouto said, kissing his forehead and wrapping his arms around him once more.
It started happening nearly every night— Hanta would wake up and his acrid scent was everywhere, and his eyes were wet with tears.
“It’s not just bad dreams, is it,” Shouto said one night, his tone carefully even.
Hanta never realized how bad a liar he was, but it made sense considering this was the first time he tried lying to Shouto. “No,” he admitted.
“What is it? Are you unhappy being with me—“
“No!” Hanta said quickly, grabbing onto Shouto’s arms. “No. I love being with you, l love being married to you. I swear. I’m just afraid I’m going to mess it up.”
Shouto frowned. “Why would you think that?”
“Because…” Hanta’s lip trembled. “Because, I want to have kids. I don’t know when I changed my mind— but I did. I’m sorry.”
“Ah,” Shouto said.
Hanta searched Shouto’s stoic face. “W-what are you thinking, Roki?”
Shouto winced slightly at the sound of his old nickname. “Well. It makes sense. I’d always feared this day would come.”
Hanta’s heart was beating so wildly he felt like it was going to explode. “What does that mean? Are you… are you saying you want a divorce?” Just saying out loud made him burst into tears.
Shouto was hugging him immediately. “No, no, of course not— I thought you were saying that you wanted to leave me since I don’t want children.”
“Alpha,” Hanta sobbed.
“I’m here,” Shouto said, his voice cracking.
When Hanta got himself under control enough to speak again, he forced himself to look Shouto in the eye. “Do you ever think about it?”
“Yes,” Shouto said. “But it’s not a good idea.”
“Why not?” Hanta’s eyelashes fluttered as fresh tears leaked down his face.
“I won’t make the same mistakes my father made.”
“What do you mean? You’re not your father, Sho.”
“I… How can I be a parent? I’m not good enough.”
“ Shouto .” Hanta glared at him. “Don’t say that about yourself. It’s okay if you still don’t want kids, I would never try to force you— but don’t you dare think for a second that you wouldn’t make the best parent. You’re so strong and kind and patient and loving . Even when we were at U.A., you were always so good with kids even if you were a little clueless at times.” He laughed wetly. “Besides, even if I want kids, I have no idea if I’ll be good at being a parent.”
“You would be the best,” Shouto insisted right away, tears streaming down his face. “I know you would. What you just said about me… that sounds more like you. And you grew up in a loving household, so you know what a good childhood should look like..”
“Sho,” Hanta laughed again. “Look around you. We already have a loving household. You created that. We both did.”
Shouto sighed. “I just don’t know.”
“That’s okay,” Hanta said, grabbing his hand. “I will never expect anything from you. I was just so afraid that I would ruin everything by telling you I’d changed my mind. I… I haven’t, have I?”
“Of course not,” Shouto said. “I love you Hanta. We’ll figure this out.”
“I love you, too.” Hanta wrapped his arms around Shouto and nuzzled his neck, breathing in his scent deeply.
They stayed up all night talking quietly with each other, holding each other and kissing each other.
Shouto was still very wary of becoming a parent, but Hanta was just incredibly relieved that Shouto knew how he felt and didn’t resent him for it. They talked about it occasionally, though Hanta knew that his husband probably just needed time to think about it on his own.
A year went by and Hanta still longed for kids, but his love for Shouto was more than enough. They were eating downstairs at the soba shop they lived above when Shouto smiled at him.
“Rei,” Shouto said.
Hanta’s brow furrowed. “Huh?”
“Rei,” Shouto repeated, this time placing his hand over Hanta’s on the table. “If we had a daughter, I think I’d like to name her after my mother.”
Hanta gasped before he nodded vigorously. “It’s a pretty name.”
Shouto stood up and leaned over the table to kiss him briefly. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Hanta said, grinning up at him.