Archive of Our Own

“Oikawa, I know your secret.” 

Oikawa froze in his tracks as Ushijima’s deep voice echoed in his ears. He knows. Stay cool. He turned around, placing a hand on his hip, and smirked. “Which one?” 

Ushijima’s expression remained as stoic as ever. “You’re here to spy on us.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. You really think I’d stoop that low?” 

“Well, I’m trying to have a serious conversation right now, and you’re standing like you’re Regina George. I wouldn’t put it past you.” 

Oikawa gasped. He watches Mean Girls? Wait, that’s not relevant. 

“Huh.” Oikawa’s smirk fell and he stared Ushijima dead in the eye. “I suppose you caught me. You’re right. There’s no going back now- I know nearly everything about your team dynamics and plays.” 

And then Ushijima did something that Oikawa wouldn’t have expected in a million years. 

He smiled. 

“Do you take me for an idiot?” 

Yeah, pretty much, Oikawa thought. But he took a quick look at Ushijima’s arms, which were already straining against his jacket, and decided not to say it out loud. 

“Of course I know you’re here to spy. But do you know who’s playing your position in Seijoh right now?” 

“Huh?” I don’t have a good feeling about this… “Who?” 

"Why, I’d say a little spy of our own.” 

Oikawa’s heart dropped. So they’d known. The entire time. Not only had they known, but they’d taken counter-measures. 

“Do you mean…” 

“That’s right, Roommate-kun.” Oikawa’s throat closed up as he heard the voice behind him. He turned slowly- to see the rest of the Shiratorizawa team standing, looking at him mockingly. 

Tendou was the one speaking. “Every team play you’ve seen so far is a fluke. We’ve been practicing without you. Meanwhile, your precious Iwa-chan is not only missing quality time with you, but also relying on someone who’s going to back out last minute. Isn’t it wonderful?” He clapped cheerily. “The spy becomes the spied-on.” 

“Tendou-kun, did you prepare that monologue? Is that what you were practicing this morning in the shower?” Goshiki whispered earnestly in his ear. 

“Shut up for a second, you’re ruining my moment. But yeah.” 

Oikawa took a deep breath, trying not to panic, and turned back to Ushijima. “How long have you known?” 

“Well, Tendou suspected it early on. When you finally agreed to come to Shiratorizawa after refusing for ages. And then the hints just sort of piled up. Your restlessness when you were around me-” 

That wasn’t because of the spying though... fuck, no, shut up. 

“-how you stared at everyone during practice. And then Goshiki overheard a conversation you had with Iwaizumi.” Could’ve just started off with that.

Oikawa turned to look at Goshiki, who was beaming with pride at being the one who eventually caught him. Bitterness swelled up in Oikawa’s chest, but he pushed it down. 

"So what does this mean?” he asked quietly. 

“It means right now you’re here, being absolutely useless, while a player on our team is out there somewhere, bonding and practicing with Iwaizumi and the rest of your team, only to eventually switch back.” Goshiki smiled. 

“He can’t switch back to this team as long as I’m here.” 

“He can still report everything. And I know the first thing you’re going to do is call your Iwa-chan and tell him about this development- but there are three new players on your team this year. He’ll never know who it is. So he stays. And whether you stay... well, that’s up to you. It makes us no difference.” Tendou seemed to have planned everything out beforehand. 

“You make me sick.” 

“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, Tooru,” Semi muttered sourly. He walked away, and the rest of the team followed suit. Oikawa turned around to Ushijima, who still held the same stoic expression. 

“Too bad, Oikawa. If you hadn’t betrayed us, we might’ve considered playing honestly. Good luck.” 

And there Oikawa stood, alone, confused- but most overwhelmingly, an utter loser. 

~

“What the fuck are you talking about?” 

Oikawa had just finished reiterating the entire incident to Iwaizumi, as Tendou had predicted he would- but Iwaizumi refused to believe it. 

“Okay, so you’re telling me that not only did you wreck your mission-” 

“Don’t be mean!” 

“-but they pulled an Uno reverse on us?” 

“See, when you put it that way, it makes us sound like losers.” 

“We are losers! Which player is it?” 

“Okay, so that’s the thing…” 

“Don’t tell me you don’t even know who it is. Oikawa-” 

Fuck, he didn’t call me Shittykawa? He must be really pissed. 

“- I’ve got three earnest, athletic and intelligent players here who are doing our team some good, even in your absence. I’m not going to kick them all off the team!” 

“I know-” 

“So what do you want me to do?” 

“I don’t… I don’t know. I’m sorry, Iwa-chan.” 

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You’re telling me there’s a fucking traitor on our team, and our traitor hasn’t made any headway?” 

“What was I supposed to do? They were a step ahead of us. Can’t you find out which one of them went to Shiratorizawa before? Through like, some files or something?” 

“That’s all confidential information. Wow. We are so screwed.” 

“It’s okay. Catch him the way they caught me.” 

Iwaizumi laughed derogatorily. “If there’s a traitor on our team, there’s no damn way we’re gonna find him easily. All three of them are perfectly friendly and talented.” 

“Iwa-chan…” 

“What?” he snapped. 

“I don’t want to lose Inter-High. Not again.” 

There was a pause, and then Oikawa heard a deep sigh. When Iwaizumi spoke again, it was softer. “I know. Me neither, Shittykawa. Don’t worry. I’ll figure something out.” 

~

“Hey, Roommate-kun. Faring well with the little trick we pulled on ya?” 

Oikawa gritted his teeth and continued eating dinner alone. He had tried avoiding the team the rest of the day, but there’s only so long you can go. 

And then it struck him. The answer. 

“Don’t worry about me, Satori-kun. You’d be surprised at what it takes to faze me.” 

Oikawa noticed Tendou’s smile drop into a suspicious stare, but he pointedly ignored it and continued eating. He returned to his room soon after, laying on his bed with his phone, waiting for Ushijima to return. When he did, Oikawa sat up. 

“So what time is practice tomorrow morning?” 

“Huh? Oh. 7 am, as always.” 

“Oh good, I was hoping that schedule wouldn’t change because of the surprise you thought you pulled.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Oikawa put on his best intimidating-setter face. “You really thought you could fool me? Me, Oikawa Tooru, apple of everyone’s eye, best setter in the prefecture, the most feared server, lover of milk bread?” 

“Speaking of milk bread, I’d gone out today and got you some.” He tossed the packet to him offhandedly. “I know you like it.” 

Oikawa stumbled momentarily. How could this man go out and do something so sweet, so thoughtful, after having effectively ruined his life, all with no expression, and yet make Oikawa tear up? No one had ever bought him milk bread before. 

“Anyways, you were saying?” Ushijima asked, sitting at his desk.

“Are you gay?” 

“What?” 

You’re confused? I’m fucking confused, bro. I don’t know why I said that. Is it possible for human beings to evaporate? I’d really appreciate that right now. Please, God, if you could- 

“Yeah.” 

Oikawa choked mid-prayer. “Huh?” 

“Well, you asked. And, uh, I haven’t really told anyone yet. And I’d appreciate if you wouldn’t either. But yeah, I am.” 

“Wow, okay, that’s, um…” 

“Wait, you’re not homophobic or something, are you?” 

“No, of course not, don’t be ridiculous. I fully support you. Well, except for the part where you totally went behind my back and infiltrated my best friend’s team.” 

“Listen, about that… I’ve been thinking. How would you like to call this whole thing off? Play with us honestly. If you agree, I’ll tell our guy to play honestly too.” 

“Wait, really?” 

“I know I don’t speak much. But I’m not enjoying this whole spy business. Volleyball isn’t about that. But to make sure you won’t betray us, I’ll have you do some official filing that confirms you will play with our team. For the rest of the school year.” 

Fuck. 

“Think about it. If you choose not to come to practice tomorrow, I’ll make up an excuse for Coach. Goodnight, Oikawa.” 

And just like that, he fell asleep, leaving Oikawa wide awake in the darkness. 

~

“Why the fuck are you calling at one in the morning?” 

“He’s asking me to choose between Seijoh and Shiratorizawa.” 

Oikawa couldn’t wait until morning to relay their exchange to Iwaizumi, so he had pulled on his jacket and went for a quick jog on campus. He had been given an impossible choice. 

“What? What did he say?” Iwaizumi asked, now a bit more composed. 

“He says either join us for real, or you will eventually lose. There’s no way around it. They’re stronger than us already, and with a spy, they’re basically unstoppable. They know everything.” 

“Fuck. What do you mean, join them for real?” 

“Play honestly. If I do that, their player will either back out or play honestly as well. But that means…” 

“You won’t return to Seijoh this year.” 

“Yeah. Either I return to Seijoh and lose… or I have a shot at winning as Shiratorizawa.” 

“Both ways, you won’t be able to go to Nationals as a Seijoh player,” Iwaizumi whispered. His voice was small. 

“I don’t know what to do, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa felt the tears pricking at his eyes, and he sped up his pace to avoid crying. 

“This is my fault. I shouldn’t have made you go on that stupid mission.” 

“Of course not. It’s mine… no, it’s not anyone’s. We did what we thought would work. It didn’t.” 

Iwaizumi didn’t speak for a few seconds. “I don’t think I want to go to Nationals if it’s without you. It wouldn’t be the same.” 

Oikawa stopped running. “Iwa-chan…” 

“I’ve told you a million damn times not to call me that. Uh, what… what are you going to do?” 

“I don’t know. You tell me.” 

“You can’t make me make this decision for you, Oikawa. You’re the one who’s at stake.” 

“Then I will return to Seijoh.” 

Iwaizumi didn’t say anything. “You won’t make Nationals,” he muttered. 

“No, I will. And I will make it with you by my side. Not stupid Ushiwaka-chan. I don’t care if there’s a fucking spy or something among us. I’ll find him. Somehow. I don’t know. But I will play with Seijoh, even if it means losing. I will lose with my team. With you.” 

“Please think about it harder. You’re giving up Nationals for this false sense of patriotism.” 

“No, I’m taking my chances so I can play alongside the team I truly value. I don’t care. I’ll come back. When I’m playing at Nationals, it’s you I want to set to. It’s you who has to deliver the game point. That’s how it’s always been in my mind, and that’s how it stays.” 

“Shittykawa…” 

“You’re really still going to call me that? After all the sacrifice I’m making for you?” Oikawa chuckled, but it came out in a bout of tears he hadn’t realised he’d been suppressing. 

“Are you crying? Disgusting.” 

“Shut up!” 

“Even if you decide to change your mind and stick to Shiratorizawa, I’ll understand. I’ll be mad at you, sure, but I won’t hate you.” 

“Are you implying you don’t already hate me? I’m honored.” 

“Let me go to sleep. Think it over again. I’d hate to take this chance from you. Goodnight.” He hung up, and Oikawa went back to his room with a heavy weight on his chest. 

~

Morning came. After having mulled it over a couple of hours, Oikawa texted Iwaizumi.

Me: i’m going to infiltrate seijoh 

Iwa: Wtf
Iwa: What r u talking about

Me: i’m going to sneak in at night and retrieve the student files and check who’s been to shiratorizawa 

Iwa: Ur risking jail for a vb tournament? 

Me: yes 

Iwa: Ur crazy 

Me: and you love it. now tell me the student names 

Iwa: If u get caught u might never be able to play vb again 

Me: i simply won’t get caught. girlbossing at its finest 

Iwa: Wtf does that mean
Iwa: You know what nvm
Iwa: Hold on
Iwa: Nishihara Hiroki, 1st yr
Iwa: Usui Shinji, 2nd yr
Iwa: Sakai Fumio, 2nd yr 

Me: any other info? the files are kept in the storage cabinet on the third floor right? 

Iwa: I have no idea 

Me: we’ll just have to see then
Me: thanks for the help iwachan
Me: i’ll try my best and figure out who the traitor is
Me: i refuse to be played by this ushiwaka mf 

Iwa: Just be careful
Iwa: Best of luck 

Me: your last class is bio right? 

Iwa: Yeah 

Me: leave the lab window unlatched
Me: not conspicuously, just enough that it can be opened from outside 

Iwa: Fine
Iwa: Text me if u need a distraction or sumn 

Me: ok thanks ily
[read]

~

Oikawa was terrified. Of all rational choices, this… wasn’t even one of them. No, this was literally putting not only Nationals, but his entire volleyball career at risk. But Shiratorizawa’s betrayal had not only left him bewildered- it had been a direct hit to his pride and ego, the one thing you’d know damn near never falters. 

And so, that night he set out, decked up in all-black attire, on his covert operation. He cycled to Seijoh which took him around 45 minutes, and left him panting on the street for another solid 10. Once he had recovered some of his energy, he assessed the security around the building. There seemed to be two security guards near the front entrance, one of them asleep, the other on their phone. They shouldn’t be able to see me if I jump over the wall on the dormitory side. 

He clambered onto the wall with the help of his cycle and biker gloves, and crashed to the floor on his back, taking care not to injure his arms or legs. He stayed still for a while, just in case someone overheard his fall. Once he was sure the coast was clear, he moved. 

Seijoh was divided into three buildings- the girls’ dormitories on the left, the main building in the middle, and the boys’ dormitories on the far right. Oikawa was currently behind the boys’ building. He debated on calling Iwaizumi to help him, but he didn’t want to put him at risk. 

He walked to the main building and got inside by opening the window to the biology lab that Iwaizumi had generously left unlocked. He was almost certain there were no people actually inside the building, but he couldn’t be sure. 

And suddenly, horror struck. He was in a solitary school building, at night, with only a flashlight for vision. He had played one too many school horror games for this. He could practically see the demented yandere women reaching out to stab him. 

Me: iwachan pls come with me 

Iwa: What
Iwa: Im not doing that 

Me: pls i’m begging it’s so scary
Me: it’s like those horror games 

Iwa: What were you expecting Shittykawa 

Me: i’m in the bio lab plsplspls come i’ll owe you one 

Iwa: Ill hold u to that
Iwa: Coming
Iwa: Loser 

Oikawa shut his eyes while he waited, sitting in the windowsill, feeling as though he might start hallucinating ghosts if he kept staring out into the darkness. He tried to occupy his few minutes by singing songs in his mind but he kept circling back to what would happen if he failed tonight. That was the real nightmare.

Suddenly, a hand clasped his mouth shut from behind. Before he could scream, he heard a familiar voice hissing in his ear. “It’s just me, don’t fucking shout and ruin this.” 

“Oh, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa got unexpectedly emotional at seeing his best friend, and immediately engulfed him in the biggest bear hug he could manage. He knew that Iwaizumi would make fun of him later, but right then, he did not care. 

“Missed me much, Shittykawa?” Iwaizumi snarked- but he gently hugged Oikawa back. “Okay, let’s get this shit done then, you’re choking me.” 

They walked up the stairs silently, Oikawa one step behind his friend. His heart was beating so loud he wondered if it was audible. It felt like it could beat right out of his chest. He grabbed a baseball bat from the indoor court on the second floor, just in case. There was no turning back now. Either succeed, or never play volleyball again. 

Never play volleyball again...

The very notion of something so dismal helped him calm down. He knew what he was doing. 

Well, mostly. 

“The storage cabinet is locked?” 

Iwaizumi gave him a deadpan stare. “You didn’t know?” 

Oikawa shook his head and turned to look at the door, which now seemed like an unshakable mountain. “What do we do?” 

“You don’t have a lockpick? Or even a hair pin?” 

“Oh sure, let me just fish one out of my ponytail.” 

Iwaizumi sighed. “Useless. The keys must be in the principal’s office. Go get them.” 

“Alone?” 

“Yeah. It’s your punishment for not being prepared.” 

“Meanie.” 

Oikawa walked to the end of the corridor, where the office was located. It was locked too. He ran back to Iwaizumi. 

“Never mind that now. I got this paperclip from the staff room. It should work if I just…” Oikawa watched as Iwaizumi fiddled with the lock, until he heard the satisfying click. “There. Stop looking at me like that. I just poked it randomly.” 

Oikawa shook himself out of his star-struck gaze as they got into the cabinet. It was just called that- really, it was a small room with shelves upon shelves of files and folders, much like a mini-library. Iwaizumi sighed heavily. 

“Alright, let’s get to work."

For the next hour or so the two of them looked through the files (there were so many of them that Oikawa almost regretted doing this) until Oikawa finally found the one labeled “Volleyball Team”. The first page was about the coach, the next twelve for the current players, and he found ex-players at the end- himself among them. 

“Here, Iwa-chan. Check their names. This shows all transfer history.” 

“Jackpot.” 

Iwaizumi took the file from him and skimmed through the pages. “It’s Fumio. He was in Shiratorizawa before, for his first year.” 

“Nice.” Oikawa took the book from him and flipped towards the end, where his own page was. “It’s weird to think I’m not in Seijoh right now.” 

“Stop admiring yourself and let’s get the hell out of here.” 

Oikawa reached up to put the file back where it was, but his foot slipped on the baseball bat he had placed on the floor. He reflexively grabbed a shelf to stop from falling- but ended up taking the cabinet down with him, making a noise that could’ve woken the entire building. “Fuck!” 

“Get up!” Iwaizumi hissed, hauling him up by the arm from under the cabinet roughly. “Someone’s definitely coming!” 

Oikawa stared at the fallen cabinet in disdain, clutching his arm in pain. All the files were scattered and messy- there was no time to fix them. 

“Just leave it,” Iwaizumi said, dragging Oikawa outside. 

“Fingerprints!” 

“No one’s gonna check for fingerprints, it’s not a robbery. Just come on, I can hear the guards coming upstairs. Is your arm fine?” 

“Ye-” he winced as they rounded the end of the corridor and his bad arm collided with the wall. “Yeah.” 

“We’ll get it checked later. Where the fuck do we hide?” 

Light flashed on the wall, right at the corner they had just turned. Oikawa’s eyes widened in alarm, and he silently guided Iwaizumi to the end of the corridor, where there was an empty box room. He pushed open the door as silently as he could, entered, and closed it. He turned off his flashlight, and alongside Iwaizumi, waited in the dark. Completely still. 

Footsteps were audible outside- just one pair, approaching them. Oikawa looked at his friend in alarm, but Iwaizumi did not react. He grabbed Oikawa’s hand and pulled him beside the door. With both their backs to the wall, Iwaizumi put the back of his hand across Oikawa’s chest, and gestured at him to stay silent. Well, obviously. 

The footsteps came to a halt outside. It was the end of the corridor. 

The door opened, slow, agonizingly slow. Oikawa didn’t dare breathe. 

The guard flashed his torch around the room haphazardly once before closing the door again. He felt Iwaizumi relax beside him. 

“Never again, asshole. My life literally flashed before my eyes.” 

“Let’s wait a few more minutes and then leave.” Oikawa said, relieved. 

“And if we get caught?” 

“I’ll say I was here alone and you were out for a walk and heard a noise and came to investigate. It won’t clear you completely, but it’ll save your volleyball.” 

“Fine.” 

After a few more minutes in silence, Iwaizumi finally dared to open the door. Oikawa waited until Iwaizumi confirmed that the coast was clear, and the two hightailed it out of there, back the same way they came. 

“What’s the time?” Oikawa asked. 

“4:23.” 

“Fuck, I have to get back within an hour.” 

“How are you gonna go back over the wall?” 

“Er…” 

Iwaizumi glared at him. “Seriously? What would you do if I wasn’t here?” 

He generously offered his own bicycle for Oikawa to hoist himself up, in the same spot he had entered. Oikawa waved at him from atop the wall. 

“Thanks, Iwa-chan. I owe you big-time.” 

“Duh. Now begone.” 

“Mean.” But Oikawa smiled, dropped to the floor on his feet (unlike the interior, there was no grass to land on), and winced when it affected his bad knee, but got up nevertheless and cycled home, his injured arm feeling sore. 

 ~

“You’ve been knocked out cold since last night,” Ushijima commented, as he joined Oikawa for lunch. “You alright? You missed the morning classes.” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Oikawa had caught up on his lost sleep, now relieved that they had found a solution. Starving, he had headed to lunch first, not even checking his phone. 

"Have you made your decision yet?” 

“No. I’m still thinking,” Oikawa replied haughtily. Ushijima didn’t seem to care (or even notice) and merely continued eating his rice. 

With lunch scarfed down, Oikawa finally checked his phone and found a text from Iwaizumi. 

Iwa: So how do we proceed now 

Me: remove him from the team??? obviously 

Iwa: Ur not thinking this through

Iwa: Shiratorizawa think they r fooling us

Iwa: but now we have the upper hand 

Me: ooh you’re smart

Iwa: Literally common sense but fine
Iwa: My suggestion is we keep him on the team, demonstrate false plays, and have practice without him
Iwa: Like Shiratorizawa did with you 

Me: idk if i should be offended
Me: and what should i do? 

Iwa: Hold off on your decision
Iwa: Stay on the team
Iwa: We proceed with the original plan
Iwa: Theyll probably plan on putting u on the bench if u stay on anyways bcs they cant trust u 

Me: so what does this mean? 

Iwa: You r dumber than u look
Iwa: And u look pretty dumb

Me: just tell me omg why am i being attacked

Iwa: Match season comes
Iwa: You return to Seijoh
Iwa: Fumio returns to Shiratorizawa
Iwa: Informs them of wrong plans
Iwa: They strategize according to wrong plans
Iwa: They’re surprised during the actual matches when we pull up what we were actually doing
Iwa: I trust you’ll be back a few weeks prior at least
Iwa: So we can practice with you

Me: you are SO smart
Me: perfect
[read]

~

Oikawa spent the next couple weeks in ambiguity, refusing to tell Ushijima what his decision was. He continued practicing with the team, not focusing on their techniques because they were probably pretending- but he took notes on their friendship and dynamics amongst themselves. Knowing who’s most likely to feud, to show off, to one-up another. Who’s striving to impress, and who’s striving to win. The small, personal things that no one notices, but that matter. 

Soon enough, August arrived, and it is time for Inter-High. Ushijima finally confronted Oikawa head-on. 

“You must tell me your decision. Today.” 

Oikawa gulped down his dinner nervously, wondering how to tell him. Despite everything, he couldn’t help but feel like Ushijima had been rooting for him all along- that even after coming so far, he wanted to play honestly. With him. It hurt him, just the slightest. He took a deep breath. 

“I will be returning to Seijoh. You may choose to do with your spy what you will.” 

Ushijima’s eyes betrayed a hint of emotion, but he remained stoic. “Fine.” 

Oikawa shivered as he suddenly felt some eyes on him, and turned to see Tendo side-eyeing him from the next table. He looked away. 

“Sorry.” 

“I expected better, Oikawa-san. Even… from you.” He looked disappointed. “I was looking forward to having you on our team.” 

Oikawa felt upset, deep inside. But he shook it off. He couldn’t afford to be upset, especially not because of him, of all people. He really shouldn’t be able to affect him like that at all. 

“Sorry, Ushiwaka-chan. Really.” 

And unfortunately- despite Shiratorizawa and Seijoh’s conflicted past, nemesis statuses, and the annoying, annoying Ushijima- he meant it. 

He had grown to like Shiratorizawa enough to not want to leave. 

He had grown to like Ushijima.