Work Text:
“This place kinda reminds me of where you live,” Steven told Connie as they walked to a nearby diner, hands clasped.
“A lot of suburban areas do tend to look alike. It’s basically like a cookie-cutter mold. You’ll find neighborhoods like this in probably every state.”
Steven nodded along. “Sweet.” He paused as he looked around, and he heard a few kids… must have been playing in a backyard, or something. He could see himself living somewhere like this when he was older.
There was a burst of laughter and noise, Connie pausing and forcing Steven to a stop before they watched as something flew over the fence they were passing. A few seconds later and a boy with bright red hair popped up, giving them a smile, “Hey, sorry about that! Could you toss it back over, please?” Steven rose an eyebrow, looking down. What the heck…
Connie picked it up, tilting her head. “Isn’t this a hydraulic max cardiac filtrator?” It was a what now?
“Yep,” the kid nodded. “Nice eye.”
“Aren’t you a little young to be playing with something like this?” Connie walked the thing over to them, looking amused.
“Why yes, yes I am,” the kid beamed, accepting the… thing back. “Thanks again. Hey, you seem to know your stuff, you wanna check out what we’re building?”
Connie glanced back to Steven, and she seemed excited, so with a sigh, he nodded and smiled at her. He watched Connie grin, looking back to the kid. “I’d love to.”
“Come on, the gate is this way! Oh, I’m Phineas, by the way. This is my brother, Ferb.” The kid who had appeared next to him and hadn’t yet spoke waved at them. Steven gave a wave back at them.
“I’m Connie, and this is my boyfriend Steven. What are you building that requires such a high-end piece, anyway?” Connie followed along, dragging Steven into what seemed to be their backyard.
“Oh, we’re working on building a machine that turns people temporarily into animals because Buford wanted to see what it was like to bite someone as a dog instead of as a human.”
“Huh,” Connie said quietly, looking at the machine they were building. “So, does it work?”
“Almost. We just need to finish a few more parts to really get it going - and we’re going to need some fur from the animals people want to turn into, of course.”
Connie smiled at them, looking the machine over. “This is really advanced wiring. What animals are you going to turn into?”
“A platypus,” Phineas told them with ease.
“A platypus?” Connie blinked, looking and feeling surprised. “How did you get the fur from a platypus?”
“From our pet platypus, Perry! He’s right over-” The kids looked around. “Hey. Where’s Perry?”
“Must be on another mission,” Ferb said, heading back towards a large, complicated looking machine before beginning to work on it. Steven and Connie glanced to each other, shrugging. May as well not question it.
“So! Any particular animal you guys would want to turn into?” Phineas asked them, and, alright. They had gone through stranger at this point.
Steven started thinking about it before Connie gasped, whispering a soft, “ Lion. ”
Snickering, Steven only shook his head. “I’ve dealt with enough shapeshifting for a lifetime, thanks.”
“No problem,” Phineas nodded. “You can still stick around to watch, though! We’re gonna let Buford go first since he started this idea, but then we’ll all be taking turns. Ferb’s going to stay human, though, just in case we need to turn back before the biological timer runs out naturally.”
Pulling out his phone, Steven nodded. “I’ll call Pearl so she can send Lion over and we can get some of his fur.”
“Yes!” Connie cheered, launching herself at Steven in a tight hug that almost made him lose his balance. “This is going to be so much fun!”
It didn’t take long for Lion to get there, a portal opening with an echo of a roar before he was rushing in and looking completely serious. Steven beamed. “Hey, buddy.” He hugged Lion immediately. Aw man, he’d missed him.
Lion was licking and nuzzling against him at once, knocking him to the ground and lying on top of him with a happy huff. It was so cute! “You have a pet pink lion? That is just the cutest! ”
Steven laughed, still trapped underneath him. “I think of him as less of a pet and more of a companion, but yeah!”
“Lion is the absolute best,” Connie nodded seriously, grinning as she hugged Lion herself. “Hey, Lion, would you mind if I took a few pieces of fur from you?” Lion looked up at her before ‘mrr’ing and bumping his head against her shoulder. “Thank you! I’ll be sure to be very careful.”
It only took a minute or two of Connie brushing through Lion’s mane before she had enough loose fur to make a decent little bundle, Connie kissing the top of Lion’s head and then looking down at Steven, “Do you need help getting up?”
“Nah,” he told her, grinning. “I’m fine.” He missed his Lion. “You missed me, buddy? Yeah. You, you missed me, didn’t you?” When Lion blinked down at him. Steven beamed.
“You boys have fun with your bonding time, then,” Connie laughed, kneeling down to give each of them a quick forehead kiss. She stood up, holding out the handful of pink fur. “Got the lion fur! So, you said your friend was gonna go-”
“ Phineas! What stupid invention did you make this time?” Glancing over towards the house, Steven saw a teenage girl who looked a lot like Phineas - probably his sister. She was also glaring and shouting. It really reminded him of Pearl when Amethyst had done something she wasn’t supposed to.
“Oh, hey, Candace!” Phineas waved excitedly at who was probably his sister before stepping back from the machine. “Actually, why don’t we just show you. Ready, Buford!” One of the kids shouted an eager agreement and Phineas beamed before throwing a lever on the machine, Steven watching as… nothing happened.
Candace seemed to frown, walking over with her hands on her hips. “What did it do?” Phineas was frowning and looking at Ferb, who was digging through a bunch of wires.
“Well, it was supposed to turn Buford into a boxer,” Phineas explained, tapping at what looked like some sort of gauge. “Huh. Did we use the wrong part somewhere?”
“A boxer? You want to learn boxing?”
“Why is that the first thing that always comes to people’s mind?!” Steven tilted his head, looking at the wiring and stuff. Wow, he so didn’t get any of this.
“It looks like you did everything right from where I’m standing,” Connie chimed in, going over to stand by Ferb and look at the wiring. “Nothing’s obviously wrong, at least… Weird.”
“Hm…” Picking up his phone, Steven dialed for a video call. “Hey, Peridot!”
“ Steven! ” Peridot greeted him with a wide smile, arms open wide as she beamed at him. “ How’s everything going? ”
“It’s going pretty good. I… wish I could say this was just a social call.”
“ Ooh, is there something you need help fixing? ” Well, at least Peridot sounded excited about it. “ It is! What is it? Major global disaster? ”
“Think a lot smaller.” He turned the camera around to face the machine. “Some… machine in a backyard that’s supposed to turn humans into animals?”
“ Oh? Huh, where are you at? I didn’t think I’d see an organic matter changer just randomly on Earth of all places! ”
“This town called Danville. These guys were building it in their backyard, and Connie wanted in on it.”
“ Oh? Some humans built it? ” Peridot looked much more interested. “ I’ll be over there as fast I can! Might take a while. What state are you in? ”
“Uh… I’ll just send Lion to go get you,” he finally said. Hanging up the phone, he turned around to Lion. “Hey, bud. Can you go pick up Peridot from Little Homeschool, real quick?”
Lion stared at him, yawning widely before stretching out and roaring up a portal, disappearing quickly. As soon as he was gone, Candace was speaking loudly, “Okay, was that a pink lion? ”
Steven smiled. "Hey there. I'm Steven, this is Connie. That was my companion Lion."
“Your… companion. Right. Because why- Hang on, I haven’t seen you guys before.” Candace blinked at them, looking caught off guard. “Candace, by the way. I’m the older sister of those two little monsters who are about to be in so much trouble. ”
"Trouble?" Connie frowned, tilting her head. "Why?"
“Because Mom left me in charge and here these two are building who-knows-what out in the backyard!”
Connie looked backwards. "And?"
“And- And-” Candance spluttered, turning on her heel. “I’m going to go call mom!”
“Just let her go,” Ferb spoke up to Connie. “It gives her a sense of routine and balance in her chaotic teenage life.”
Steven nodded. "Makes sense." And Lion was back. "Hey, Peridot!"
“Steven!” Peridot was bounding off of Lion and wrapping him up into a hug, hanging on tightly. “It’s so good to see you!”
"It's great to see you, too," he said, hugging her tight. "I didn't want you getting too jealous of the other temps."
“I would never, ” Peridot sniffed, wavering after a moment. “But I’m so glad you finally called me because the other two got Steven hugs and I hadn’t!”
"Well hey, now you have. I missed you." He hugged her before setting her down on her feet. "So?"
“ So, what am I working with here! There’s an organic changer here on Earth that wasn’t built by gems? Or was it? I need more info, Steven!”
He laughed, turning her to the machine. "You guys? This is Peridot. She's super great at stuff like this, she can definitely help."
“Hi, Peridot!” Phineas greeted. “We’re trying to build a machine that can turn people into animals. It should be working, but something seems to have gone wrong… Think you can help us out?”
“Hm… Carbon sensors. Copper-infused wiring. By my current calculations, everything should be working. Let me get a closer look.”
Steven settled on the ground with Lion, watching Peridot eagerly look through parts of the machine before looking at a set of blueprints Phineas provided her. After ten or so minutes, she laughed, “Ha! There’s your problem. Your schematics are wrong! Whoever made this was an idiot, obviously. It wasn’t you, was it?”
Steven rose an eyebrow, and in a warning tone, " Peridot… "
"No, we use the Mad Scientists' Schemes and Prints Supply a lot."
“Huh, thought so. You two seem too clever to let this obvious a mistake pass.” Peridot ignored Steven completely, instead spreading out the blueprints and waving for the two boys to come here. “Here, look at this. See? They have these two sections like this when they should be swapped.”
"By Tesla, you're right! Ferb, how did we miss something like that?" Phineas was doodling over the papers at once, Ferb shrugging before he was going back towards the main bulk of the machine.
“Completely understandable,” Peridot said, patting at Phineas’ shoulder. “Why, considering your age, it’s impressive you managed to build this so well even with poor schematics! Well done.”
"Gee, thanks!"
Wow. Peridot was… surprisingly nice about the whole thing. She helped them swap the parts needed, and they looked over the blueprints again before seeming to nod as one. The boys were scrambling back to their positions at once.
“Alright, Buford,” Phineas called to one of the kids. “Get ready to be a boxer dog!”
"Heck yeah! Second times the charm!"
"That is not how the idiom goes!"
“It is now, suckers!”
Ah, well. At least all of the kids seemed to be having fun. That was something, at the very least. Besides, even Peridot looked eager to see the thing work.
They threw the lever, and there was lights and sparks, and smoke, and when the door of the contraption opened, there was… a dog. Connie was cooing at once, mumbling a soft, “He’s so cute! ”
Peridot’s eyes widened and she immediately scrambled back for the blueprints again. " Incredible! I can't believe humans have achieved such gains already! Are you certain these schematics are of human origin?"
“Yep!” Phineas nodded, giving a grin. “Like I said, we buy a lot of them, but sometimes we make our own, and Ferb and I are both fully human. At least, I think we are.”
"Hey- Actually, Peridot, that reminds me," Steven said, perking up.
“Remind you? Of what?” Peridot was looking at him curiously, moving over to sit down next to him.
"Just if, back at Little Homeworld, you happen to have any DNA tests or anything. You know. For humans."
“ Steven, ” Connie glared at him, Peridot only tilting her head.
“DNA tests? Why would you want something like that?”
"Oh, you know. Reasons."
“Huh, well… I don’t think I have anything, but I could probably whip something together if you really needed it,” Peridot said, crossing her arms while Connie huffed and looked like she wanted to argue. Steven only smirked at her, crossing his own arms as well. “Uh, alright, then. “Ll have them to you by the end of this upcoming weekend.”
“Great. Thanks, Peri.”
Steven watched another girl step up and step inside. She was turned into a cat, and she was really cute. That Baljeet kid started to step forward, but then Candace was coming back outside again on her phone. “No, seriously Mom! It’s a machine, and they’re turning their friends into animals! ” As she spoke, she tripped, and Steven watched it like a car crash.
She fell right into the machine, the door shutting behind her, and as it rattled from the force the machine pushed itself into Ferb’s finger, the activation button being pushed, and… That Baljeet kid had already put in some kind of scales. Oh boy.
“Huh,” Phineas said after a moment. “That wasn’t supposed to happen. Baljeet, what kind of scales were those?”
“A cobra,” he said easily enough, and they all watched as the machine whirred and continued on before it ding! ed again and the door opened… Wow.
“Hm,” Phineas said again, staring at the bright orange cobra that was shaking its head as if dizzy. “I don’t think Candace likes snakes very much…”
“ Ah! Phineas! What did you do?! ” She slithered over to where her phone had landed in the grass. “ Mom! Mom! I’m a snake! ”
Steven could hear what must have been their mom on the other end of the phone, “Oh, now, Candace, don’t be so hard on yourself! ”
“No, Mom, literally! I literally have scales!”
“So, Baljeet, do you have anymore scales?”
“ Candace, honey, you’re a teenager. Of course your skin is going to keep changing. There’s nothing wrong with it.”
“I do, actually!” Baljeet said, handing over more scales to Phineas.
"Perfect!" They set the machine up and this time, Baljeet came out, only slightly less bright of an orange but still an orange snake.
"Huzzah! All will quiver at my venomous glory!" Before anyone could ‘quiver’ Buford was bowling him over in his frantic doggy run, making noises between barking and crazed laughter. “Help! I’m being attacked! Someone call animal control!”
Buford tackled into the kid, Steven half-ready to get up and separate them before Baljeet was slithering his way up to sit on Buford’s head, the two ruffled but alright.
“Connie? You’re up!”
Steven grinned at her. “Good luck.”
“This is gonna be so great!” Connie was beaming and running over at once, handling the tufts of Lion’s fur over to Phineas. “This might work a bit differently since Lion is a magical lion.”
“Cool! That should be fun!”
Connie got in the machine next, and, on instinct, Steven’s hand shot out to hold Peridot’s. Peridot laughed, squeezing his hand, “Relax. I can personally promise that nothing will go wrong or even so much as hurt her.” That did at least ever so slightly reassure him as the doors closed, and the machine lit up and whirred and did its… machine thing.
It was a few seconds before the doors slid open smoothly, a small version of Lion stepping out without a mane and with super curly fur. Connie blinked slowly, sitting down and then bringing up a paw to look at before a delighted giggle burst out of her. “It worked!” Steven beamed at her.
“ Aah! Connie! Lookit you! You’re so adorable!” Oh man he could never tell her parents. They would freak, but they would never have to know. Instead he just beamed as Connie’s tail wagged before she was bounding over towards him and Lion.
“This is so cool!” Connie ran right into him, rubbing against his stomach. He laughed, holding her close while Peridot seemed to examine Connie, muttering this and that about how incredible it was.
Phineas was the last in the machine, and when he came out, he was… a green platypus. “Ferb, look!” Ferb looked him over, giving a firm, happy nod at seeing it was once again successful. Before he could possibly say anything, the girl who had been turned into a cat was tackling Phineas and purring loudly and aw, that was sweet.
“This is so cool!” Connie nuzzled against him, almost knocking him over before wiggling free to nuzzle Lion’s cheek. “And Lion! You’re brilliant!” Lion didn’t seem quite as enthused as Connie, mostly just… well, Steven assumed he was responding. He pawed at Connie a bit and seemed to try to stare at her. “Aw, don’t worry, Lion, it’s me! Connie! Hey, why do you think my fur is so different compared to his?”
“Maybe because you’re human? And female? And, you know…” He looked to her meaningfully. “ Not pink?”
“Oh. That might explain it,” Connie nodded, carefully sitting down and looking at her tail and paws before sounding serious. “Okay. I’m gonna try something.”
Steven grinned, tilting his head at her. “What are you gonna try?”
“You’ll see.” Huh, that sounded vaguely threatening. Before Steven could ask anymore, though, Connie was tensing her shoulders, taking in a deep breath, and then looking up at him. Steven was gonna ask what she was doing but… But… She just looked so adorable and cute and sad. She was the prettiest pink lion and oh man.
Connie was giggling even as Steven wrapped around her, hugging her tightly, “Huh, that really does work!”
“Oh, Connie! Look at you. Wow. Any chance you can stay like this?”
Connie rolled her eyes, pushing towards him with her full force and knocking him towards the ground before lying on top of him. “Nope. Just for today.” Beaming, he shifted and squirmed before he was picking her up in his arms and standing up again. Connie made a squeaking noise, looking at him with wide eyes before pouting. “No fair! I’m a lion! You shouldn’t be able to just pick me up!”
“Gem strength,” he laughed. “Come on, Connie, I can pick up my car. ” Connie whined, staring down at him before burying her face against his.
“Fine, then you can just suffocate!” Everyone seemed to have fun, being animals for the day.
That was up until a giant tennis ball nearly came down on them, bounced on the machine — completely destroying it in the process — and bounced away. “What the…”
From where he’d been laying against her combing out her fur, lion-Connie was suddenly once again human-Connie.
“Huh.” Phineas was lying on the ground, blinking up at the sky. “Wow. Glad we added that failsafe that turns everyone back if the machine breaks. Everyone alright?” There were all affirmative answers, Isabella sitting up in a tree, and Buford sitting on top of Baljeet. Looked like everyone was okay.
“What just happened?” Peridot blinked, startled from where she had been studying the machine and taking notes. There was now nothing left in the yard at all. “Did… what?”
“Was that a giant tennis ball?”
“That happens around here,” Phineas waved off, Steven glancing down to Connie to see she didn’t do much more than readjust and lean back against him. The gate at the back door swung open and a woman came in.
“Alright, Candace. Where are all the animal people?” Candace stared at her, slowly sitting up from where she had been wiggling around on her back and unable to really move.
“Gone. They’re gone. Because the machine’s gone. Because of a giant tennis ball.”
“A giant tennis ball.” Wow, could she sound any more in disbelief? “Well, how about you come help me with dinner?”
As she trudged off, Steven stood. “Thanks for today, but we should probably be going.”
“Yeah, no problem! It was great spending the day with you guys,” Phineas beamed at them. “Feel free to come back anytime- Oh. There you are, Perry.”
Steven looked over at a green platypus. “Aw. What a cute little fedora.”
“Oh, yeah,” Phineas laughed, picking the platypus up and giving him a squeeze. “He wears it really well.” That was… a bit of panic? From most everyone? In- Including the… platypus?
Steven wasn’t gonna question it. “Yeah, he really does.” He turned to Peridot, holding his arms out. Peridot was back in his arms and hugging him tightly at once.
“The weird things that find you Steven, honestly.”
“Yeah. And that’s not even including the realm travel, ” he grumbled with a roll of his eyes. In his arms, Peridot had stiffened.
“Realm… travel?” Oh. Oh, no. He hadn’t told her.
Shit. “So, uh, hey, Lapis is probably missing one of her favorite muses back at Little Homeworld right now!”
“Oh, no- No, no, no, you cannot just drop in realm travel and then try to ditch me! ”
Steven looked to Connie nervously. “Connie?”
“Nope.” Connie shook her head, crossing her arms. “You’re on your own with this one.”
“Okay, but in the long run of everything, the whole realm travel thing is way less important- You know I can fly now? And I’m working on making a sword!”
“ You can what and you’re doing what?! ” Alright, okay, that was either better or worse. Steven wasn’t quite sure, yet.
“Hey, Lion? Can you bring Peridot home?”
Lion was bounding over and scooping Peridot onto her back before roaring, Peridot hanging on and shouting out a quick, “This isn’t over, Steven Universe!”
“Like that’s the first time I’ve heard that!”
Once Lion took off, Steven grinned back at Connie. Connie shook her head, looking as if she was trying not to laugh. “You know, you’re going to have to explain your whole trip to her now. She won’t stop until she gets every detail.”
“And I will,” he told her, hugging her close. “The same time I tell everyone else, when I go home.”
“Hm,” Connie hummed, settling into the hug with a soft sigh. “As long as you know she’ll be trying to get the details out of you every day until then. Now, why don’t we head out and get some actual dinner like we were talking about earlier?”
“I think that’s a great idea.”
“Bye Steven, bye Connie! Thanks for hanging out with us! Carpe diem!” Was that… a guitar riff? No. Steven didn’t want to know.
“Yeah, totally.” When the two of them were out of the sidewalk, he looked to Connie expectantly.
“It’s Latin for seize the day,” Connie smiled at him, twining their hands together and lightly swinging them back and forth.
They continued the way they’d originally been headed to the diner. “Seize the day? Is that, like, a metaphor for something?”
“Sort of, I suppose. It’s supposed to mean that you should make the most of the present, not worrying about the future or what’s going to happen, but making the most out of today.”
Steven thought about it. “Huh.” That sounded really nice. “I think I like the sound of that.” Seize the day… “How about we go seize some dinner?”
“That sounds perfect,” Connie laughed, leaning her head against Steven’s shoulder, and, yeah… seize the day and enjoying the present didn’t sound all that bad.