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the first time they noticed it was during the trip back to the tundra.
they'd ventured out into the snow because techno needed firewood, and he'd gotten considerably weaker after his time locked inside the cell, so ranboo had offered to collect it for him, which they instantly regretted once they remembered their scrawny arms and complete lack of strength.
only, it had gone fine, or... better than expected, at least, because ranboo had successfully collected one full armful of logs and wood scraps that would hold them off for a while.
no, the real problem only arose when they stubbed their shoe against a rock and their breath hitched.
they tried to exhale, as any normal person would, but instead, a cough tore its way out of their throat.
and there, just atop one of the logs, was a pale yellow petal.
it wasn't a problem, not really.
sure, it wasn't the most pleasant thing, choking out flower petals, but it didn't particularly hurt. it was only an uncomfortable experience that was over fairly quickly. plus, the petals were small.
it was scary, sure, but what were they meant to do? the essempee was a fairly closed off place, no one would have much knowledge about sudden flower coughing. no one could help, so why bother asking?
ranboo chalked their reluctance up to that, and not the fact that they were already weird enough, with their gangly limbs and duo-toned skin and water allergies, they didn't need something to make it worse. to make them even more of a freak.
no one really questioned it either.
ranboo thought it'd be much harder to ignore spontaneous petals that filled their lungs, but it was almost the opposite.
they'd gotten away with it fairly easily after telling techno that they only had a cold, hiding the petals in folded up tissues. assumedly, techno had told phil, because no one mentioned their coughing fits, not until ranboo returned to essempee grounds, and then suddenly everyone knew.
"you alright?" tommy cut himself off, frowning in their general direction. "that didn't sound good."
ranboo cleared their throat into the tissue, wincing at the feeling of petals on their tongue. they cast a stray glance at the evidence, finding the material flecked with blood.
that couldn't be good.
"yeah, i'm fine. just- colds, y'know?" they shrugged it off, hastily folding the issue and shoving it in their pocket before the red could seep through.
tommy clearly didn't believe them, yet he only huffed, sending stray white strands of hair flying away from his pale face. for a moment, they were afraid he would pry, and their weird, freak-ish habit, but he only turned back to tubbo, and continued whatever ramble he'd been midway through.
tubbo winced sympathetically, "you know, you should really get that checked out, ran," he paused in the doorway as he scanned their face for any sign of injury, but the only signs were in the tissue, in the form of little, blood-speckled chrysanthemum petals. only, he wouldn't know that, because ranboo would never dare tell him.
"it's just a cold, it'll pass," they insisted, forcing a wonky smile and praying there wasn't any blood left on their teeth. "trust me, tubs, it's only a cough."
"i know, but still," he shrugged, yet the topic was dropped, and ranboo sank back into the sofa.
"take the day off," wilbur insisted, snatching the spatula from ranboos shaking hands, "seriously, ranboo."
they shook their head, eyeing the window of the van as they spoke, doing everything they could to not meet his worried eyes. "i'm fine, wilbur. i can still work, it's just a little cold."
at their insistence, he sighed, "if you won't take the day off for yourself, at least do it so you don't get your nasty cold snot on the burgers."
ranboo wrinkled up their nose, yet sighed, and reached behind them to undo their apron."
"go home, ranboo."
fundy stared at them, wide-eyed, "jesus, man. go see a doctor," he frowned.
"it's just a cold, i'm fine," they waved him off. "really, i don't need a doctor."
"still, that's a nasty cough," he hesitated, yet they interrupted before he could get any more words out.
their eyes were set, "it's just a cold."
"you don't sound too good," niki had commented absentmindedly as ranboo trailed behind her, helping her out with odd jobs around her underground shelter. it was intended to be a city, but, typically, no one had really joined, which ranboo felt bad about, but what could they do?
they only shrugged, "it's fine. i'm fine."
they were not, in fact, fucking fine.
"yeah. it's from, like, unrequited feelings, or something," phil shrugged, setting down a book upon the 'discard' pile, dust spiralling into the cold air.
ranboo swallowed thickly at the cover. it was standard for an old book, leather cover, sloppily printed words, skewed bindings, whatever, but it was the image sewed onto the front that made them pause.
it was clearly meant to be a side-view of a human head, only...
there were flowers in its throat.
"that's a thing?" ranboo asked before they could shut their mouth, because of course they weren't allowed good luck.
phil hummed absentmindedly as he ran his finger down the spine of another old, dusty book on the shelf, "i guess. never seen it myself, though. real nasty disease, apparently," he paid no mind to the frozen ranboo at his side, continuing to sort books between two separate piles.
they bit back a sob, "what causes it?"
"unrequited love, according to that," he half-nodded towards the book laying on the floor. "or, technically it can be requited, the person just doesn't know. usually ends in death, apparently, but i'm not too sure how true that is," he hesitated, turning to look at ranboos fearful face, "it's a rare disease, mate, you don't have to worry about it."
god.
was this it for them?
were they dying, with no way of stopping it?
all for, what, a love they didn't even know they had?
"phil," they croaked, "you don't- no, you don't understand, phil, i can't- i don't- i-" their breath hitched as their eyes stung furiously.
he frowned, pausing his search to shuffle closer to ranboo, placing a hand upon their shoulder, "i'm sorry, mate, i didn't mean to scare you. it might not even be real anyway, it's nothing to worry about-"
"it is," ranboo insisted, breathing heavily, frantic, "it is, phil, and it's going to kill me. "
phils face fell, the final pieces slotting together in his head, "oh. oh. "
tommy coughed into his hand, a whine tearing from his throat at the agony spreading through his neck.
he spared one look into his pale palm.
and in the centre, a petal.