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Chapter Text

Regulus was lazily sprawled across the dark fabric of a Slytherin armchair, a girl he didn't recognize straddling his hips, fumbling with the buttons on his fine pressed shirt.

He sighed and leaned his head back, closing his eyes blissfully.

Her long nails were trailing down his bare torso, sending shivers prickling down his spine.

Her other hand was pressed firmly up against his trousers, sliding up his thigh at a teasing slow speed.

She gasped as he grabbed hold of her wrist, moving it from his chest.

"Don't play with me, Love," he whispered, leaning in beside her ear.

He released his hold of her wrist, moving her off his hips as he stood, readjusting his clothing.

The stench of alcohol still hung heavily in the air, a result of the party that had ended hours before and he swore, knocking into a pile of cans as he made his way back to his dorm.

A hardly clothed brunette was fast asleep on the floor beside Barty Crouch's bunk.

"Get up," Regulus demanded, tapping her with the top of his foot, "honestly, this is just disgraceful."

She opened his eyes, obviously discombobulated, likely due to the state of intoxication she was currently occupying.

"Barty!" Regulus rolled his eyes, "you left one of your playthings out here."

Barty stuck his head out of his fourposter, "leave her." He said. "I have no use for her, probably has another round in her if you wanna try her out. I've got a prettier one in here...she's blonde."

Regulus gave a disgusted scoff as Barty disappeared behind the curtain again, the silencing charm encapsulating whatever was going on in his four poster.

"Come on," Regulus said gruffly, he bent down and picked up a discarded blouse, tossing it at the girl.

She pulled it over her head and stumbled to her feet.

"What's your house?" Regulus demanded.

"R—Ravenclaw," she slurred with a giggle, falling onto his chest, "you're pretty..."

He pushed her off and she promptly threw up on his shoes.

"Attractive." With a wave of his wand, the sick disappeared. He seized her arm and led her to the exit of the dorm, pushing her out and closing the door behind her.

He turned back and saw Crouch's four poster silently rocking back and forth.

"I'm not pissed enough for this," Regulus shook his head, the slight buzz he had earlier nearly completely eradicated.

He opened the door to the dorm, slamming it behind him as he retreated back to the common room.

The Ravenclaw girl was sitting against the portrait hole, her head leaned against the wall, a half empty Firewhiskey in hand.

"You're back!" She slurred, smiling up at him.

He plucked the drink out of her hand and set it down on a side table.

"Come on," he sighed, looking at her expectantly.

"Where are we going?" She struggled to her feet.

"I'm taking you back to your dorm," Regulus said shortly.

"No!" She giggled, "you can't! The party hasn't even started!"

He opened the portrait hole and strolled out into the corridor, the girl trailing along reluctantly a couple paces behind.

"What goes Z to A?" The portrait asked.

"Are you bloody serious?" Regulus groaned.

"We've got to answer the riddle," the girl hiccuped.

Regulus stepped forward and banged on the portrait hole with his fist, before turning around and walking away.

"Penelope!" A girls voiced echoed through the hall as Regulus turned the corner, "where have you been?"

It must've been around three in the morning, the halls were eerily empty and quiet, lacking even the sound of Mrs. Norris's paws against the stone floors.

Regulus took the long way back to the dungeons, hoping by the time he got back, Barty would've tired himself out and gone to bed.

He liked being alone—it was actually one of the only things he formed opinions on. When he was alone he didn't need to pretend, didn't need to choose his façade based on what others expected him to be.

Regulus barely knew who he was underneath everything anymore.

"Oi! Black!"

Regulus tensed, turning around quickly.

James Potter was striding down the corridor towards him.

"Potter." Regulus said coolly, "what ever are you doing?"

James didn't answer, his brown eyes locked on Regulus's guarded grey ones.

He stopped short in front of him, grabbed his wrist and yanked the sleeve of his shirt to his elbow, revealing the clear, white skin of his forearm.

James let out a relieved breath and Regulus was quick to pull his arm away.

"What do you think you're doing?" Regulus spat, pulling down his sleeve.

"Had to check," James said unapologetically with a shrug.

"Why do you care?" Regulus narrowed his eyes.

James stared at him, unwavering, "because you're worth something, Regulus."

"You don't know that." Regulus said plainly.

"I do." James said with so much conviction Regulus wanted to believe it was true.

"My brother told you I had it, didn't he?" Regulus asked unemotionally—unattached. "He thinks I'm one of them."

James nodded.

Regulus appreciated the straightforward honestly, he didn't understand 'sugarcoating'—a waste of time to convey the same information.

"Justified, as he will be right eventually," Regulus sighed, "why are you really here? Potter?"

"Don't do it." James said, "it'll crush him. Don't get the mark, we can get you out, just how we did for Sirius."

"That's where you're wrong," Regulus turned away, "they won't let me go as easily."

James didn't follow after him.

He didn't argue.

"I'll get you out of there!" James called, "I will. I swear it."

Regulus glanced over his shoulder and for a moment his demeanor faltered, watching the hope on James's face.

"I hope you do, Potter." He meant it to be silent but it echoed in the empty hall.

James's grin grew tenfold.

"I promise, Regulus."

Regulus shook his head once more and turned away, descending the stairs to the dungeons.

Barty's bed had stopped moving and there was a lack of half-dressed girls in their dorms.

Regulus slipped into his nightclothes and pulled the curtains around his four-poster, laying on his back with an unsettled feeling in his thought.

"You're worth something, Regulus."

Chapter Text

The start of a new term never failed to put James Potter in high spirits.

He enjoyed school (and he wasn't half bad at it). He liked the smell of new textbooks—a brand new quill set. He loved the consistent stream of conversation and people around him, and most importantly, he loved his Marauders.

James never fancied being alone. He found the quiet rather unsettling.

"Where'd you go?" Sirius poked his head through his curtains.

"Just for a walk," James flashed him a smile, "talk in the morning? Yeah?"

"Yeah, ok. Night, Prongs." Sirius disappeared back into his curtains as James shrugged off his cloak and kicked off his shoes, tucking the Marauder's map into his trunk.

James loved sharing a room.

"Night Pads."

It was September 1st, 1977, the first day back of the Marauder's final year at Hogwarts. 

James slipped into his fourposter, Peter's snoring from the bunk to James's left filling the room.

However, sleep didn't come.

James rolled over with a frown.

He didn't know what had compelled him to go confront Regulus Black, nor did he know why Regulus Black was walking the corridors with Penelope Frank at three sixteen in the morning.

It shouldn't have caught his attention. He shouldn't have even thought twice, he didn't know Regulus Black, and anything he did was none of James's business.

"I hope you do, Potter."

He had said it with the same expression that was a constant on Sirius's face before he ran away.

A mask of disinterest and a lack of emotion hiding the desperation that signature grey eyes betrayed.

"He's just like them" Sirius had said on the train, "their golden son, their pride. He's just like them and he's proud of it."

"Don't you think he might want out as bad as you did?" Remus asked.

Sirius shook his head, "he's right where he wants to be. I'm telling you, he already took the mark."

Regulus's white forearm had proven otherwise.

The memory still plagued him in the morning. 

"What is the matter with you?" Remus asked, shoveling forkfuls of eggs into his mouth.

"Nothing," James smiled, "are you boys ready for our best year yet?"

Lily looked over and rolled her eyes, "silly me to think you guys matured at all over the summer."

"Who us?" James gasped, "Evans, that would be a tragedy."

She smiled slightly, turning away, "how Dumbledore appointed you as Head Boy over Remus is beyond me."

James laughed, throwing an arm around Remus's shoulders.

"Too posh for the likes of me," Remus drawled.

"Our ruffian," Sirius howled.

"Oh, knock it off," Marlene scolded, "Remus is just a big softie, he wouldn't hurt a hair on anyone's head!"

"Marls," Sirius snorted, "have you seen his face? He didn't get that by just walking into a wall."

"You should really get that checked out, Doll," Mary frowned at Remus's black eye, "it's all puffy."

"You should see the other guy," Remus grinned.

"Oh! Don't encourage them!" Lily reached over the table to whack him.

"I'm not!" Remus laughed, guarding himself with his arms, "you've been to my house, Lils, you know I'm not in the best neighborhood."

"Yes, but fighting?" Lily said disapprovingly, "your face is too pretty and your mind is too brilliant to be discarded by the likes of a fistfight."

"Lily Evans called me pretty," Remus faked-swooned, "does that mean she fancies me?"

"Remus Lupin, my true love," Lily giggled, blowing him a kiss.

"Honestly, I don't know how he does it," Peter mumbled, shaking his head, "all the girls are mad about him."

"It's my impeccable charm," Remus grinned, "don't worry, Pete, we'll find you a pretty girl this year."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed, "maybe you'll finally get your first kiss, Peter!"

Peter turned red and he looked down at his plate, pushing around his potatoes with his fork.

Sirius stiffened suddenly beside James, causing him to look up from his conversation.

"What's wrong—"

Regulus was strolling towards their table, his eyes locked on Sirius's.

Sirius didn't seem to be breathing. He hadn't spoken to his brother since the night he left.

However, Regulus didn't come towards them.

With his eyes still locked on Sirius's, he rolled his sleeves to his elbow as he passed the table, baring his forearms.

James's eyes widened and Regulus's gaze briefly fell on him, before he left the Hall.

A weight seemed to have been taken off Sirius's shoulder and he allowed himself to breathe once Regulus had gone.

An understanding was passed between the Black brothers.

"You okay?" James asked, squeezing Sirius's shoulder.

"Yeah," he breathed, sniffing discretely, "yeah. I'm okay."

James nodded and turned back towards his conversation with Peter, allowing Sirius to have a second to himself.

"What should we do today?" Remus asked, "classes don't start until Monday, we've got three days left of freedom."

"Pull a prank I reckon." Peter said happily.

"No shit, Peter," Sirius rolled his eyes, "nice to know you lost the scarce remains of your brains when you are in America."

"Oi! I've got more brains than you!" Peter argued, "and none of you have even asked about my trip yet!"

"Fine, sorry, Pete," James conceded, "how was the States?"

"Brilliant!" His face lit up, "Dad took me to a club in Vegas for my seventeenth, you should've seen the girls' knockers."

"Peter!" James made a face, "we're eating."

Peter cupped his chest and his eyes widened in a crude representation.

"I think we get it, Peter." Sirius frowned.

"Oh, you all are prudes," Peter rolled his eyes, "what happened to you, Pads?"

Sirius blushed and looked down, "my priorities have changed, we're not fifteen anymore."

"Suit yourself," Peter shrugged, "I quite enjoy the occasional boob."

"Mate, the only boobs you've ever seen were the ones you paid for," Remus snorted.

"Moony!" Peter groaned, hiding his flushed face in his hands.

"Back to the prank," James said, "any brilliant ideas?"

"It'll have to be on the Slytherins, of course," Remus said.

"Think bigger," James said, "it's our last year, we might as well leave our legacy."

"Ok, Mr. 'HeadBoy'." Sirius rolled his eyes, "come on. We've already left a legacy."

"Since when are you one to settle?" Remus teased.

"Am not!" Sirius gasped.

For the next two days they were holed up in their dorm, revising and reviewing their prank.

"We're going to get crucified by Minnie," Sirius grinned.

"That we are, Padfoot," James agreed.

"I'll take the Gryffindors," Remus said quickly.

"Hufflepuffs!" Peter said quickly.

"Ravenclaws then," Sirius said.

"Balls," James sighed, "why do I get the Slytherins? The prank was my idea."

"Tonight?" Sirius asked, ignoring James.

"Tonight." The boys echoed in agreement.

Five o'clock couldn't have come any quicker.

The four of them rushed down to the kitchen, hiding their contraband under their cloaks.

"Hey, Pippy, Welma, Hopper," they greeted the house elves setting up the tables connected the ones in the Great Hall above.

"Why don't we give you guys a hand with that?" Sirius suggested, "you know what? We'll set the tables for you, but I don't know if anyone told you—it's Headmaster Dumbledore's birthday today and we would love to have a cake to celebrate."

They all nodded in agreement, their eyes widening as they chartered about icing flavors, scurrying back into the kitchens.

"Brilliant, Pads!" James grinned, "Alright, Men. Clear your tables and take your position."

They hurried around, moving the plates of food before standing in the center of each table.

The clock struck six and the Marauders vanished, reappearing infront of a shocked hall.

"Good evening everyone!" James boomed through the crowd, "I am your HeadBoy, James Potter." He bowed deeply, scanning the surprised faces of the Slytherins.

His gaze found questioning grey eyes and James winked with a grin.

"Now let me introduce my brothers in arms!" James stood back up, ignoring the scolding from the professors as he strolled leisurely up the tabletops. "To my left is Mr. Sirius Black!"

Sirius took a bow and blew a kiss to McGonagall.

"Peter Pettigrew!"

Peter waved nervously.

"And Remus Lupin!"

Remus just stood their, with his arms crossed and an amused look on his face.

"Ready Boys?" James grinned.

"Ready!" They echoed.

Fireworks and confetti filled the hall, causing an uproar as they whizzed through the air.

James laughed brilliantly, watching the scene play out around him.

The noise faded several minutes later, only leaving neon letters written in the sky of a ceiling.

Welcome to 7th year
-The Marauders

Yeah. It was going to be a great year.

Chapter Text

"She looks mad." Sirius whispered.

The four of them were sitting in a row opposite from an orange-haired Minerva McGonagall.

Her lips were pursed and she stared at them scrutinizingly, her fingers tapping on the desk.

"Is she going to say anything?" Peter whispered, "it's been ten minutes."

McGonagall's eyes narrowed and Peter's face immediately turned red and he stared down at his lap.

The door opened and Dumbledore came strolling in with brilliant blue hair, "Goodevening, gentleman."

"Evening, Professor," the echoed.

"That was quite the spectacle," he conceded, "I don't believe I can recall a HeadBoy introducing himself quite like that before, but it'll definitely leave an impression."

James had to fight a grin.

"Potter!" McGonagall scowled.

"Sorry, Professor." James said, clamping his mouth shut.

"I think a month of detentions will do." Dumbledore smiled, "do you agree, Minerva?"

James's spirits soared, a month was nothing, and the four of them have had so many detentions it was almost routine.

"Separately."

Oh. Oh that was no good at all.

"Very well," Dumbledore nodded, "I trust you can arrange them?"

"Yes, Albus," she said.

"I will leave it to you from here then," he smiled, "do try to stay out of trouble, boys."

"No can do, Professor," Sirius laughed.

Dumbledore chuckled, closing the door behind him.

"I will have your detention slips delivered to you tomorrow morning," McGonagall said shortly, "you are dismissed."

They nodded and stood up quickly.

"Here, Professor," James handed her a piece of parchment, "it's the counter charm. It'll turn your hair back to normal."

She eyed them suspiciously, "no tricks."

"No tricks," Remus nodded, "honest."

"Goodnight, boys."

"Goodnight, Professor."

They hurried out of the office.

"Rotten luck separate detentions." Sirius groaned. "Don't you think, James?"

"Yeah," James agreed, "I'm going to go post the counter charm, I'll meet up with you lot in a minute."

"Do you want me to come?" Remus offered.

"It's alright," James smiled, "I've got it."

"Ok, see you Mate," Peter smiled.

"Bye, Pete," James waved before jogging down a separate corridor.

The prefect bathroom was packed, everyone trying to wash the bright colors from their hair.

"Potter!" Lily beckoned him over to the pool.

Her hair was magenta and a yellow halter bikini was tied around her neck.

"Evans," James grinned, "magenta suits you."

"How do we change it back?" She demanded, "we've all been trying to wash the color out for nearly an hour and nothing is working."

"Yeah, yeah," James sighed walking over to the mirrors, he stuck the parchment to it with a sticking charm.

"There's the counter charm, everyone," James announced, "feel free to share it with your house—or don't."

He shrugged.

"It just depends on how much you like them I suppose. Hall duties will be out by tomorrow, Evans and I will work on them tonight. Let's have a good year, welcome back everyone."

"Nice impromptu prefect meeting," Lily scoffed, wrapping a towel around her body as she walked over to the paper with a dozen others.

"I try," James winked.

She rolled her eyes and her hair turned back ginger.

"I'll meet you in the common room in an hour?" She asked, "to make the schedules?"

"Yeah," James agreed, "sounds great."

>•<

It took Regulus three hours to get yellow paint out of his hair. Any magic used only made it spread, so he and Barty were stuck, bent over the sinks with their heads under the faucets.

"Bloody morons, the whole lot of them," Barty scowled as he knocked his head on the tap trying to stand.

Regulus didn't answer, simply lathering more shampoo into his hair. He wouldn't dare admit it out loud, but the plan was rather ingenious.

"At least you got yellow," Barty continued, "Pink! My entire head is pink!"

"I think the proper term is fuchsia," Regulus replied evenly, keeping an indifferent expression.

Barty gaped at him, "I hate you, Regulus Black."

"Oh whatever shall I do?" Regulus asked sarcastically, drying his head with a towel.

"It's still yellow," Barty pointed out.

"It is," Regulus agreed, "I'm going to the prefects bathroom."

It was late enough for the corridors to be close to empty, which was a relief, however, Regulus wasn't expecting the bathroom to be empty.

"Hello?" He called, frowning slightly.

There was no response.

"Nobody's here," a ghost hovered by his head.

"Good evening, Myrtle." Regulus said. "How are you?"

"Your hair is yellow," she giggled.

Regulus rolled his eyes.

"The counter charm is posted on the mirrors," she said, "the handsome Potter boy pinned it up earlier."

"Of course he did," Regulus sighed, walking over to the mirrors.

Here's the counter charm my little minions.
-Your HeadBoy
xoxo

"Bloody idiot," Regulus cast the charm and the yellow vanished from his dark hair.

"Are you not staying?" Myrtle frowned.

Regulus didn't answer, pulling the door closed behind him.

James fucking Potter, what a bloody saint.

Regulus had never felt such a strong disdain for a person before. Who the fuck did he think he was? James bloody Potter saving the day as usual, and everyone followed him blindly, ignorantly, forgetting he was the cause of all the problems.

James bloody Potter and his perfect life. His perfect family, his perfect friends and his stupid perfect smile. His arrogance that makes him believe everything will be okay in the end.

It was infuriating.

James bloody saint Potter.

"You got it out!" Barty looked up as Regulus got back to the dorm, "oi, what's got you so pissed?"

"Fuck off," Regulus swore, pulling the curtains closed around his fourposter.

"Shit, okay," Barty huffed, "dramatic ass."

"Crouch I will fucking stab you." Regulus threatened.

"Whatever Mate," Barty said, "I'm going to go shag Greengrass."

"Disgusting," Regulus said back.

"She's got a nice twat!" Barty yelled, "you should try it sometime."

Regulus laid there, his eyes trained on the ceiling.

You're worth something Regulus

He swore. As he was actively trying to resent Potter, his voice echoed in his mind.

He was wrong. He wasn't worth the trouble, he wasn't worth saving.

But Potter had said it with such conviction. His spirit hadn't been broken yet, hope still danced within his eyes.

Regulus knew better. Whatever hope he once had was trampled the day Sirius walked out on him.

There was no saving him.

He'd live a monster and die one, just like his parents.

Sirius, selfish as always, had sacrificed his own brother for his freedom. He knew. He knew that if he left, Regulus would be damned, yet he did it anyways.

Fuck them all.

His parents. His brother. James Potter.

All of them.

Chapter Text

"I want to really advocate for house unity this year," Lily said, "I think we should do inter-house pairings for prefect duties."

"Whatever you say," James shrugged with a grin, "I reckon you just want an excuse to keep away from me."

"Foiled once again." Lily rolled her eyes. "But really, I was thinking we can set a randomizer."

"Can't we just pull names out of a hat?" James said.

"Well—" Lily paused, her brows furrowing, "actually, yes, I suppose that'll work."

"Brilliant," James said, ripping a piece of parchment into small pieces, "before I write names, who do you want to be your partner?"

"Hm?" She frowned.

"We're the heads," James said, "we can pick. Don't want to be stuck with a Slytherin, do you?"

"Oh, honestly," Lily huffed, "we have to do it as well. No cutting corners."

"We wouldn't be cutting corners!" James protested, "we're the ones that are making them."

"Just write everyone's names," she said, "we'll draw first and then draw two at a time—you have the list?"

"Yes," James said, picking up his quill. "Who even are some of these people?"

"You'll do well to learn," Lily chided, "we're supposed to be setting good examples."

"Yeah right," James snorted, "I don't reckon I fit that criteria."

"Just write."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Who'd you get?" James grinned at the grim expression on Lily's face.

"Diggory." She frowned.

"Ha!" James howled with laughter, "sure you don't want to choose someone else?"

"No, it's fine," Lily crumpled the paper, "I'll survive. Your turn now."

"Fine," James plunged his hand into the papers, taking one out of the bowl.

"Well?" Lily asked as he unfolded it.

"Bollocks," he swore, "can we please redraw."

"That ruins the entire point," Lily shook her head. "Who'd you get?"

"Regulus Black," James showed her the paper.

"You will be nice to him." She warned, "we want to encourage inter-house friendships. No fighting."

"Please let's switch," he begged.

"No."

"Please!"

"No!"

"Evans!"

"Potter!" Her eyes were narrowed and her shoulders squared.

"Fine." James groaned.

"I want to have this done before ten," she said, "I'll make the schedule for Sunday to Wednesday, you do Thursday to Saturday. Two pairs a night, make sure everyone's doing a shift a week."

"Twelve pairs of people and fourteen shifts," James said, "whose picking up the extra two?"

"We are." Lily said.

"We have to patrol three nights a week?" James groaned, "Can't we give at least one of those to someone else."

"Fine," she agreed, "we'll take one and the other one will rotate, just start your schedule and we'll figure it out."

>•<

"Partners and schedules are done." Lily Evans announced at the meeting the following day. "Unfortunately our HeadBoy could not be here tonight, he has landed himself in detention—"

Regulus rolled his eyes.

"Schedules are beginning today, if everyone can come up here and get a copy, that would be great, you'll meet your partner and punch in and out here so me, James, and the professors know who's on duty. If you swap shifts just make sure to let either James or I know, and unless anyone has any questions, you're free to go, thanks everyone."

Regulus stood up and walked to the front with the rest of the prefects. He grabbed a piece of parchment from both stacks on the table Lily Evans was leaning on.

James Potter

"Fuck."

Everyone turned to look at him.

Fuck he had said that out loud.

He promptly turned on his heel and left.

Why James Potter. Out of every other prefect, why James bloody Potter.

He unfolded the schedule.

R. Black and J. Potter 10-2.

Lovely. Regulus checked his watch, it was currently 7 o'clock.

"You have corridor patrol tonight?"

Regulus turned around to see Pandora Lestrange running after him. 

"You left in such a hurry I didn't have the chance to say hi," she panted falling into step with him, "caused quite the scene."

"Hello, Lestrange." He sighed.

"How was your summer?" She asked, "I was hoping we'd be partners again this year."

"Fine. You?"

"My summer was alright," she smiled, "Rabastan took me on a trip to Rome, but it had to be cut short because, well...you know...."

Regulus nodded.

"Are you going back to the common room?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Brilliant, I'll walk with you then," she looped her arm around his, "you've got to stop frowning, it'll give you wrinkles."

"I'm not frowning, it's just my face."

"No it's not," she laughed, "you're actually quite nice to look at when you're not brooding, however rare that may be."

"I'm glad to know my face pleases you," Regulus said but his tone had a softer edge to it and he squeezed her arm softly, "how is Lovegood?"

"Forbidden as always," she sighed, "I don't know what to do, he got a job at the Ministry, he's upset that I haven't told my family about him but he just doesn't understand."

Regulus froze, "Pandora, they can't ever know about him."

"I know," she chewed nervously on her lip, "sometimes I think they'd be understanding, you know, not my mother of course, but my brothers. But then they'll say something horribly prejudiced and I'm startled back into reality."

"You'll get disowned." Regulus said.

"Oh, that I'm not worried about," she said with a dry laugh, "if they can't accept my love for Xeno then I say good riddance to the lot of them. No, Regulus, I'm scared they'll do just the opposite. I'm scared they'll go after him and simply eradicate the issue."

"You can't tell them." Regulus said again.

"I know," she unraveled her arm from his as they arrived at the common room, "go get some sleep before curfew."

"Yeah," he agreed halfheartedly, watching her walk away.

He did try to sleep. He laid in his bed, staring at the dark ceiling, a frown engraved on his face. 

Sirius's friends had hardly ever regarded him before. But James Potter? Never.

What had compelled him to approach Regulus, single him out?

Sirius was the natural answer of course.

He had proven time and time again that he would do anything for Sirius, and Sirius would do anything for James.

Regulus was lost in his thoughts, and fifteen minutes before ten, he reluctantly dragged himself to the prefect's office.

Why James Potter?

Chapter Text

James was leaning against the wall, twirling his wand in his hand when Regulus arrived.

He didn't notice him at first, he seemed distracted, one leg folded back on the wall, his free hand tapping frantically on his thigh.

Regulus cleared his throat and James jumped.

"Merlin's balls," he gasped, "you scared the shite out of me."

Regulus didn't answer.

"I was a little early today," James said, "I had a detention with Slughorn, so you weren't late or anything."

"Of course I wasn't," Regulus frowned, "I'm never late."

"Oh, err—yeah right, sorry," James stood up straight and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "we'll do you want to clock in so we can go?"

Regulus didn't say anything and pushed passed him, writing his name down on the log.

"So—" James said after many corridors of silence, "what do you do for fun?"

"Must we talk?" Regulus asked.

"It would be preferable," James frowned, "we're stuck together for the year. I'll go first if you'd like, for fun I play pranks, and Quidditch, and I also like to knit."

Regulus's brows furrowed, "you knit?"

"Mhm," James nodded proudly, "I also crochet and sew but knitting is my favorite...see how easy that was? Your turn, I already know you like Quidditch."

"I like to study." Regulus said after minutes of contemplating his next words.

"No, no," James shook his head, "you can't study for fun. What else?"

"What do you mean?"

"Studying isn't meant to be fun, what are some things that you do because you enjoy them not because you have to."

"I read, there, can we be done now?"

"You're a fun one, aren't ya." James huffed sarcastically. "I'm going to figure you out, Regulus Black."

Regulus shrugged.

"What do you read?" James pried, "I've never been much of a reader myself but if you have any recommendations, I'd give it a go."

"Really?" A thought entered Regulus's mind, "how about this? I'll recommend a book to you, but you're not allowed to speak to me until you finish it."

"That doesn't seem fair," James smirked, "what do I get out of it?"

"I'll talk to you." Regulus said.

"You're talking to me now," James opposed, "I want a secret."

"A secret?" Regulus frowned.

"Yes. A good one too," James seemed satisfied, "not some shite like your favorite subject is history."

"My favorite subject is potions," Regulus crossed his arms.

"Slughorn? Really?" James asked. "Nevermind, what's the book?"

"War and Peace." Regulus said.

"War and Peace?" James repeated, "it's in the library?"

"Yes."

"You're on, Black."

True to his word, James didn't say anything else for the rest of their patrol, and when it was over, he rushed over to the library.

"Accio War and Peace."

A gigantic book came flying at him.

"Shite," James ducked at it hit the wall behind him.

One thousand, twelve hundred and twenty five pages.

"What an arsehole," James grinned. He was never one to turn down a challenge.

>•<

Regulus went to sleep with a smug grin on his face, he was quite pleased of himself. There was no way Potter would read the book, and if he did, it would take him ages.

The great hall was buzzing the next morning, it was the first day of classes.

"You look utterly dreadful." Barty snorted as Regulus sat down beside him.

"I had patrol last night," he sighed, grabbing a muffin from the platter in-front of them.

"Did you?" Barty frowned, "how didn't I notice?"

Regulus rolled his eyes.

"Do you see Potter?" Barty scoffed, "he looks like an idiot."

"What?" Regulus looked over to the Gryffindor table and his jaw dropped.

James Potter was sitting in between Remus Lupin and Sirius, an apple in one hand and a book in the other.

"Classes haven't even started yet." Barty laughed, "I bet you he hasn't finished his summer assignments. He must be thick."

"Yeah. Must be." Regulus frowned.

Sirius was laughing at something and elbowed James in the side.

James looked up, gave a smile, adjusted his glasses and turned back to the book.

Maybe Regulus had underestimated him.

"What do we have first?" Barty asked as the schedules began to get passed down the table.

"Err—Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws." Regulus looked down at the paper in-front of them, "and then we have Charms."

"Oh brilliant," Barty shrugged, "could be worse."

Regulus nodded, but his eyes were still focused on James.

"What are you looking at?" Barty asked, trying to spot where Regulus's eyes were lingering.

"Nothing." He said quickly, dropping his gaze.

"Ah, a Gryffindor caught your eye?" Barty laughed, "why're you pining? Just go over and shag her."

"Fuck off." Regulus frowned. "And I am definitely not pining."

"Sure, Mate."

When Regulus got back to the Hall for lunch, James was already there, the book in his hands, and then again at dinner.

"This is bloody ridiculous." Regulus scoffed, James was almost halfway through the book and it had only been a day.

Regulus went to bed in a sour mood and it didn't get any better when he saw James further along in the book the next morning.

However, the dark circles under James's eyes did make him feel slightly better. At least Potter was suffering too.

"Black! Keep your head in it!" Lucinda Talkalot scowled.

"What?" Regulus looked up to see a bludger flying at his head.

He swore and ducked, the bludger barely missing his ear.

Stupid Potter.

"Why are you distracted?" She pulled him aside after practice, "is this going to be an issue?"

"No ma'am." Regulus shook his head.

"We're relying on you this season," she said, "and I'm looking for you to take over when I graduate this year. Don't let me down, Black. Get it together."

"I will." He promised.

"Hit the showers," she dismissed him.

"I'm going to fly a couple more laps around the pitch to cool off," Regulus said, "if that's alright."

"Be my guest," Lucinda shrugged, "just don't fuck anything up. Goodnight, Black."

"Goodnight."

Chapter Text

"What's with you and the book?" Sirius groaned, "come on, we haven't pulled a prank all week. You've hardly even talked to us."

"Shh," James scowled, "I only have seventy pages left and I need to have this done by ten."

"Why?" Remus asked.

"I've got corridor patrol," James yawned, rubbing his eyes, "please just let me finish this. I have a hard time focusing on more than one thing at a time."

"Sure," Remus said, "come on, Pads, let's go take a walk. Maybe find where Wormy ran off too."

"In the first case, the need was to renounce the consciousness of a nonexistent immobility in space and recognize a movement we do not feel; in the present case, it is just as necessary to renounce a nonexistent freedom and recognize a dependence we do not feel."

James shut the book an hour later, a relived smile on his face.

It remained there when he met Regulus in the prefect's office.

He handed Regulus the book with a smug expression.

"Very well," Regulus sighed, "what do you want to know?"

"Why'd the sorting hat hesitate?" James asked.

Regulus scoffed. He wasn't expecting that. "I don't remember."

"Oi!" James frowned, "I finished your stupid challenge. You owe me a secret."

Regulus didn't say anything.

"Sore loser." James taunted.

"I beg you pardon!" Regulus gasped, "I am not."

"Tell me then." James continued, "you were a hat stall. Nearly three minutes. Why?"

"The hat wanted to put me in Ravenclaw." Regulus frowned, "is that what you're looking for? Potter?"

James thought for a second, and then nodded, satisfied. "I can see that."

"See what?"

"You being a Ravenclaw," James said, "it makes sense, especially if you read for fun."

"I'm a Black." Regulus said, "we're Slytherins."

"Sirius isn't."

His jaw tightened, "Sirius isn't a Black anymore. He's disowned."

"He's still your brother." James said.

"I don't have a brother."

"You share blood," James argued, "hell, you practically share a face."

"I'd advise you to stop speaking on the behalf of things you do not know, Potter," Regulus said coolly.

"Fine." James huffed and they walked several corridors in silence.

"Why this book?" James asked.

"Because it's long." Regulus said plainly, "and I didn't believe you'd be able to finish it."

"I proved you wrong then," James said smugly, "Well?"

"Well?" Regulus repeated.

"Who's your favorite character?" James asked eagerly.

"I don't know." Regulus shrugged, "I haven't read it."

James froze.

"You haven't read it?" James said slowly.

"No," Regulus shook his head, "it's too long for me."

"You're shitting me right now." James laughed uneasily. "Regulus Black. You better be shitting me."

Regulus shrugged.

"You had me read that ridiculously long book for no reason!" James accused.

"I never told you to read it, nor did I ever say I had read it."

"Yes you did!"

Regulus shook his head, "I told you that I'd recommend a book and you couldn't speak to me until you finished it. I would've been perfectly content if you never even picked it up, Potter."

"I dare you to read it." James crossed his arms.

"No."

"It's actually a good book!"

"I have better things to do with my time than read a twelve hundred page book," Regulus rolled his eyes.

"Read it or I won't speak to you."

"Oh, I'll get right on it them." Regulus said sarcasm dripping from every word, "whatever will I do if James Potter stops speaking? My whole world will collapse."

"Your personality is different than I would've expected." James noted.

"What?" Regulus looked at him like he was mad.

"You actually remind me quite a bit of Sirius."

Regulus froze. "You're mistaken."

"No, it's all in your mannerisms," James said. "Of course you're much more refined, but your voice, your expressions, how you walk and your emphasis on certain words—all Sirius."

"There is nothing me and my brother share more than our name." Regulus scowled, "something he holds as a sickening reminder of his disgrace."

"I don't see it that way," James said. "Besides, you're brothers. You'll always share the same blood."

"He has dirtied his," Regulus said, "our blood is no longer the same."

"Oh. Never mind then," James said, "you're nothing like Sirius at all."

Regulus raised an eyebrow.

"He's actually got a brain of his own." James supplied. "Yours is filled with shit."

Regulus didn't have a chance to answer.

"We're splitting up," James declared, "you take the second and third floor. I'll take the fourth and fifth."

He watched him walk away with a frown and War and Peace in his hands.

Regulus got back to his dorm and settled in his bunk, staring at the book in his lap.

This is stupid.

He would not read the book because James Potter was upset he hadn't. He wouldn't.

"WELL, prince, Genoa and Lucca are now nothing more than the apanages, than the private property of the Bonaparte family."

Shit.

"Black! We have class in ten minutes! What the fuck are you doing?"

Regulus pried his eyes away from the words on the page and pulled his curtain back slightly.

Barty was standing there with a frown, his eyes bugging out of his head.

"Is it morning?" Regulus frowned.

"No, I'm waking you up because I want to." Barty rolled his eyes, "of course it's morning you fucking dimwit. Get up."

Regulus marked his page and stood up with a yawn, catching his uniform as Barty chucked it at him.

"I've got you a bagel," he said, "hurry up and change, we've got potions."

"Thank you," Regulus mumbled, pulling his trousers on.

"Wow, Regulus Black knows how to say thank you!" Barty gasped, "what a miracle."

Regulus looked up and glared at him, "I say thank you."

"I have never once heard that phrase come out of your mouth."

"Well you just did."

"We're going to be late," Barty groaned, looking down at his watch, "we're going to have to run."

"I don't run, it's undignified."

"You're going to have to unless you want a detention, class starts in five minutes and old Sluggy hates us."

"Shite." Regulus checked his watch and took of running after Barty.

"Look at you, so many firsts today." Barty smirked.

"Piss off." Regulus grumbled.

"Regulus, watch—" Barty started.

A door swung open and regulus ran smack into it, falling back onto the stone.

"That has to hurt," Barty said, "Goodluck with that, mate, I can't be late."

"Fuck you, Crouch!" Regulus yelled from where he was laying.

"Nice friend you have."

Regulus groaned, he didn't even need to open his eyes to know who was there. Just his luck. "Go away Potter."

"Sorry I hit you with a door," James said, "I'll take you to the Hospital Wing."

"I'm perfectly capable." Regulus said, opening his eyes, "I don't need your help."

He ignored James's outstretched hand and made a show of standing by himself. However, he stumbled forward and his head spun as he tried to take a step forward.

"Perfectly capable," James repeated with a smug grin, grabbing Regulus's arm to steady him, "come on, Black, I'll take you to the hospital wing, you hit your head."

"What happened to not speaking to me?" Regulus pulled his arm away.

"I think hitting you with a door is an exception." James shrugged, "but we can walk in silence if that's what you prefer."

Regulus nodded.

"Well," James said several minutes later as they arrived at the Hospital Wing, "sorry again, I'll make sure to check for running Slytherins next time I decide to open a door."

Regulus rolled his eyes, "you do that, Potter."

"I'll see you on Friday," James sighed, turning away.

"My favorite character is Andrew Bolkonski."

James froze and looked over his shoulder with a broad grin. "You have read it then?"

Regulus didn't answer, pulling the door closed behind him.

Chapter Text

"Come back to bed." A brunette drawled, watching Regulus hungrily.

"I told you we have to stop doing this," Regulus shook his head, doing up the buttons of his shirt.

"Oh, please, you've been saying that for a year."

"I'm serious, Evan." Regulus frowned.

"And I'm straight." Evan Rosier stood up and walked towards him.

"We're going to get caught, and then we'll both be killed." Regulus said.

"Oh, but you're so pretty I can't even think about any of that," he smirked, looping his fingers in the belt loops of Regulus's trousers. "Now why don't you stop doing up your buttons and come back to bed."

"No. This is done, we—"

He was cut off by Evan's lips on his.

Regulus pushed him back, "you're getting married."

"Oh please." Evan said, "you know better than anyone what marriage means to families like ours. Beside, I know Etta is sleeping with some Hufflepuff half-blood, neither of us want this."

"You're still getting married." Regulus argued. "I will not be some sort of mistress. Save me the mortification. We're ending this now."

"I have no feelings for Etta." Evan said, "our marriage is merely a business arrangement between my father and Herbert Burke."

"And you have feelings for me?" Regulus snorted. "Evan, this was an arrangement to benefit the both of us. We have come to a crossroad, this is where we part."

"Regulus." He frowned. "You cannot stand there and say you feel nothing for me."

"Nothing but lust." Regulus narrowed his eyes. "This was never a relationship, Evan."

"I care for you." Evan argued.

"I don't care." Regulus said coolly, "we're done. This is over."

"You have to be shitting me." Evans face turned sour.

"We're done. Get out."

"Fuck you, Regulus." Evan spat, storming out of the dorm.

The door slammed shut and Regulus let out a breath he had been holding in.

"Finally ended things with Rosier then?" Barty came through the door not ten minutes later.

Regulus froze. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, please, I'm not an idiot," Barty gave him a look, "and you're not very subtle."

He kicked Evans shirt to prove his point.

"That doesn't prove anything."

"Yeah. Ok." Barty laughed, "Regulus, you didn't check the room the first time you brought him up here. It was during the Halloween party last year. I  came up here to take a piss and was stuck in the bathroom listening to him fuck you."

Regulus flushed furiously.

"It's not like it's a big deal," Barty shrugged, "so you get off to a knob, to each their own. I've been dying to ask though—the girls? Are they all for show or do you...you know...swing both ways?"

"Crouch!" Regulus groaned.

"Oi! It's a fair question." Barty frowned, "you're with a different girl every day but you never bring any of them up here."

"I have no interest of taking advantage of a girl," Regulus scoffed, "especially when they're intoxicated."

"If they tell me to back off, I do." Barty crossed his arms, "and it's not like I'm sober when it happens."

"It shouldn't matter." Regulus shook his head, "Barty, when a girl is that drunk, it's never okay."

"Of course, Saint Regulus." Barty's voice was strained, "because you're always so perfect? Regulus? You don't ever make mistakes?"

"If I make a mistake, I make sure that it'll only happen once." Regulus said.

"You're just coming for my arse because you feel vulnerable that I know your secret." Barty laughed. "Regulus, I may mean shite to you, but you're my best mate. I know you, even if you want to pretend I don't."

Regulus watched him as he walked to the door, his face red.

"You think you're alone." Barty said, "you're not. It's just easier for you to think that because you can't handle letting anyone down like your brother did to you."

"You're wrong."

"For once in your life don't lie to yourself, Reg," Barty sighed. "Open your fucking eyes before everyone stops trying. Then you'll really be alone, and I promise you, it'll be a thousand times worse than it is right now."

>•<

"Do you think she'll say yes?" James paced back and forth, a bouquet of daffodils in his arms.

"Yeah!"

"Maybe?"

"No."

"Remus!" Sirius and Peter scolded as James's face fell.

"I'm sorry, I'm being realistic." Remus shrugged, folding one of his knees to his chest, "James, you've been asking her out weekly since first year. Why do you think this time will be any different?"

"We're friends now." James frowned. "Well—I think we are at least."

"I say go for it!" Peter said enthusiastically, "the worst thing she can say is no and you've already heard that too many times to count!"

"Thanks, Pete," James tried to smile, "Remus, where is she now?"

Remus opened the map and scanned it quickly.

"By the Black Lake."

"Cheers, wish me luck!" James grinned, taking off out of their dormitory.

"Why didn't you tell him!" Sirius scowled, snatching the map from Remus's hands to look at it more closely.

"He has to learn." Remus said, "or he'll never move on."

James ran through the castle, flowers clutched in one hand, chocolate in the other.

The sun was just about to set and the sky glowed in hues of orange.

This would be it. This would be the time Lily Evans finally said yes.

He walked across the grounds nervously, fidgeting with the gifts in his hands.

A glimpse of red hair caught his eye on the bank of the Black Lake.

He froze, "Lily?"

Her head snapped up and she quickly looked around, her eyes widening as they settled on him.

She quickly distanced herself from Tony Rodriquez, a seventh year Ravenclaw and stumbled to her feet, frantically trying to fix her hair, and brush sand of her clothes.

"James!" She flushed furiously, realizing some of her buttons were undone. "What're you doing here?"

She spotted the flowers and chocolate.

"Oh."

James stood there, frozen, unable to form a word.

"Are you alright?" Tony called.

"Not now, Tony!" Lily snapped over her shoulder. "Sorry, James—"

She turned back around but James was no longer standing there, flowers and chocolates laying in the grass.

"Shit." She swore.

Chapter Text

"Has anyone seen James?" Lily asked, rushing into the common room, "boys?"

"Yeah, he's at the pitch," Sirius said.

"Ok, Cheers." Lily said, turning to leave.

"Evans!" Sirius called after her.

"Yes?" She looked back at them.

"Give him some time, yeah?" Remus beckoned her over, "he'll be okay. You haven't done anything wrong and he knows that."

"I feel like such a shite person," she groaned, pinching her temple.

"You're not!" Peter smiled, "you're the best girl we know, Lily!"

"Thanks, Peter," Lily laughed.

"Come sit with us," Remus pat the arm of his chair, "he'll come up when he's ready. Besides, we're all dying to know about this new boy of yours."

"Rodriguez? Really?" Sirius looked unimpressed.

"Tony's really sweet!" Lily settled down next to Remus, leaning into his side, "and he grew up the town over from me. We have so much in common."

"He's cute." Peter shrugged, "you two would look nice together."

"I think so too." Lily smiled, "I'm just upset James found out like this, I wanted to tell him myself, I just couldn't find the words, I had so many opportunities, it's my fault."

"Nah, it's not." Sirius said, "you're allowed to date, Evans, besides, we all need a reality check every now and again."

"I guess so." Lily smiled, "thanks, you lot, I'm going to turn in. If James gets back, let me know, I want to talk to him."

"Sure," Remus smiled, "goodnight, Lily."

"Goodnight."

>•<

James sat down on the bench, letting his broom fall into the grass. He didn't feel up to flying, (something he never thought he'd say), but he felt like talking even less.

He was an idiot. An idiot with a big head.

Did he even like Lily Evans?

Sure she was beautiful, and kind and brilliant, but would they even get on good as a couple? They could barely figure out how to function as friends.

He would be done. He decided.

It would be disrespectful to continue to pursue her if she was obviously involved with someone. Nobody deserves that. Especially not Lily Evans.

They would figure out how to be friends, and James will have to accept that's the role she will play in his life and nothing more.

It was okay. Well—not really, but it would be. It would have to be, because Lily Evans wasn't a girl you let go. So if James must hold onto her in a solely platonic fashion. That's what he would do.

It was past curfew when he trekked back up to the castle, ready to face people once again.

"Where the fuck have you been?"

James's jumped, rounding the corner to get to the portrait hole.

Regulus Black was standing there, his arms crossed.

"Hey." James said slowly, "what're you doing here? Do you need something?"

"It's Friday." Regulus said plainly.

"Friday?" James frowned, "yeah, I reckon it is, why?"

"Are you that thick?" Regulus scoffed.

"Shit! Patrol!" James checked his watch in a panic. Ten forty seven. "Shit, I'm sorry, Regulus, I forgot."

"Obviously," Regulus began to walk, "come on then."

"I lost track, I'm sorry," James rambled. "I was just—"

"I assure you, I don't give a shit." Regulus said.

"Don't we have to clock in?" James asked as they walked in the opposite direction of the office. "Balls, I'm going to get a citation."

"I've already clocked you in." Regulus said.

James gaped, "oh—wow, thank you."

"Don't be late again."

"I won't, I promise."

They walked in silence, James trailing multiple steps behind.

"How's your head?" James asked.

"Fine." Regulus bit back coolly.

"Are you alright?" James frowned, "you seem—off."

"Potter, you don't even know me." Regulus said, "especially not enough to assume my personality."

"You're right, I'm sorry." James closed his mouth. "You can talk to me about it though, if you wanted."

"I don't."

"That's fine." James shrugged. "So—Andrei Bolkonsky?"

"Yes."

"My favorite was Pierre." James nodded, "have you finished the book yet?"

"No."

"Oh, alright." James shut his mouth, watching Regulus walk.

He was slimmer than Sirius, leaner, and likely a couple inches taller, barely shorter than James.

He wasn't wearing his cloak, just a pair of trousers and his collared shirt. They were perfectly pressed and fitted, laying neatly on his body.

James found himself staring at Regulus's waist. Everything about his figure was inviting, attractive. His eyes trailed down to his bum, highlighted effectively in the tight grey trousers. He wondered if his own arse looked that good in trousers, he doubted it.

"What's wrong with you?" Regulus looked over his shoulder.

James tore his eyes away with a blush, "what? Nothing?"

"You haven't spoken in ten minutes."

Regulus's lips turned down, they were thin, his jaw was sharp and his cheekbones—Merlin, his cheekbones.

"Potter?"

"What?" James shook his head, "oh, nothing, nothings wrong with me."

Regulus raised an eyebrow.

"You haven't finished the book." James said quickly, "I'm not speaking to you until you do, remember?"

Regulus rolled his eyes, "'In the first case, the need was to renounce the consciousness of a nonexistent immobility in space and recognize a movement we do not feel; in the present case, it is just as necessary to renounce a nonexistent freedom and recognize a dependence we do not feel'."

The words rolled flawlessly off his tongue as he recited the passage.

"You have nice teeth." James's eyes widened as the words fell out of his mouth.

Regulus gave him a strange look.

"Sorry." James blushed, "you finished it then? Why'd you say you didn't?"

"I lied." He said plainly, turning away.

"Why?"

Regulus didn't answer.

"You're strange, you know that?" He finally said.

"I'm strange?" James scoffed, "funny coming from you."

"Fair." Regulus shrugged. "I'm going to go in early, you can finish the patrol by yourself, yeah?"

"Oi," James frowned, "that's not fair. You can't just leave."

"And you can't just be late." Regulus said simply. "Goodbye, Potter."

"Arse." James groaned.

Nice teeth? Honestly? What was he a fucking weirdo? Teeth? Really?

James hid his face in his palm, trying to drown himself in the embarrassment that was himself.

Teeth!

Chapter Text

"James!" Lily sat up straight in her chair, "I'm so sorry—I was meaning to tell you."

"Evans!" James smiled, "what're you doing awake?"

"I just knew you had patrol tonight," Lily said, "and I couldn't sleep without talking to you first so I just figured I'd wait up. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry—"

"No, Lily, it's okay. Really. More than okay actually. You don't owe me anything. Not an explanation, nor an apology."

"I just feel terrible," she frowned, "I wanted to tell you—I was meaning to. I swear it."

"It's okay," he repeated, "fancy a walk? No tricks or anything, I'd just like to talk."

"Yeah," Lily nodded quickly, "I'd love that actually, let me just grab a jumper."

She ran up the staircase and was back in the common room not a minute later.

"What if we get caught?" She whispered as they pushed through the portrait hole.

"A sixth year informed us that there was a matter that required our attention," James winked, "we're just fulfilling our duties as Heads."

She grinned.

"Tony Rodriguez then?" James raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Lily blushed. "We've been going out since June."

"Good for you, Evans," James nodded, "he treats you well?"

"He does," she smiled, "I met him in my study group for Arithmancy, turns out he lives just a town over. It's only a ten minute bus ride."

"You're happy?"

"I am."

"Good. Good." James gave her a sad smile, "you deserve to be happy, Lily."

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it, "so do you, James."

"How does it feel?" James asked, "when you have feelings for someone?"

Lily looked surprised, "oh! Uhm—I don't know, I suppose you just know? Why do you ask?"

"I don't know." James frowned, "I mean, all my mates are so obsessed with girls. I've never felt that for anyone but you. Hell, I don't even know what I felt for you. I just—it's stupid, never mind."

"I don't think it's stupid." Lily stopped to face him in the corridor.

"It's just—shit—I'm trying to figure out how to say this without it sounding horribly insulting."

"It's okay," Lily assured him, "I won't be offended, I promise."

"Ok, well, when I saw you with Tony, I was not really...upset? I suppose. I was more scared for what it would mean for me. Because I think subconsciously, I've been using you as a sort of crutch, as long as all my attention was focused on you, nobody would notice the lack of attention I have for other girls. And now that you've found your person, you can't be that for me anymore, I've got to go and figure out who I am and find my person and it's just overwhelming."

"I feel like I'm going to throw up, and I sweat like crazy." Lily said.

James stared at her. "What?"

"When I like someone." She said, "I feel dizzy, and unimaginably nervous, but also excited. I want to learn everything there is to know about him, I laugh at everything he says—even if it's nowhere near funny, I can never stop smiling and I find myself doing things that I would've never imagined doing before."

James broke into a grin, and Lily smiled back, continuing to ramble.

"He becomes one of the only things I can talk about—drives Mary and Marlene mad—and when I'm not talking about him I'm thinking about him. The best part of my day is when I get to see him, and whenever he smiles, I feel like I'm going to positively die, or cry, it varies day by day."

"You do things you wouldn't have done before?" James asked, "like what?"

"Oh, Merlin," Lily laughed, "Tony loves surfing. I'm scared of the ocean. But at least once a week, he would pick me up and we'd drive down to Formby beach to go surfing. I was horrible at it, and absolutely terrified, but it meant spending time with him, and sharing his interests so I did it."

"Surfing?" James laughed.

"Yes!" Lily giggled, "oh, it was the worst part of my week but also the absolute best. But, Potter, I swear, I was convinced I was going to get eaten by a shark every single time I stepped into that water."

"Oh, Merlin," James laughed, "thanks for this, Lily."

"Thanks for taking it so well," Lily smiled.

"All I want is for you to be happy," he squeezed her hand.

"I am."

They shared a fond expression.

"Well, then, Evans, I think it's time we head in before our luck runs out."

"Yeah," she wrapped her arms around his as they walked back to the towers. "We'll be friends, yeah?"

"Of course, you can't get rid of me that easily."

"Good."

He laid in his bed that night, staring at the ceiling, going back over what Lily had said.

He hadn't felt that way about Lily since he was fifteen. When had things changed?

What was wrong with him. He had kissed girls, but never once was it how any of the boys described it. It was nice, but when it was happening, he just couldn't wait for it to be over. Was he doing it wrong?

He never noticed when girls were wearing revealing clothes, nor did it make him feel any different. Girls should be able to where whatever they were comfortable in without having to worry about men and their sick thoughts.

But Regulus's body—James couldn't look away.

His mind strayed and he imagined what it would feel like to kiss Regulus, his small lips so much different than the girls....

No.

What the fuck was he thinking.

He flushed furiously, hiding his face in his pillow.

Boys?

He supposed it was possible.

Well, if he was being honest, probably more than possible and more like likely.

"Shit." James groaned into his pillow.

His minds wandered to Trevor Spinnet. Just the other day, he had taken his shirt off in the locker room and James was practically drooling—and his hands, James could imagine those hands wrapped around his—

Yeah.

Yeah, he was definitely gay.

Chapter Text

James's revelation had him unsettled all week. He was hyper aware of everything, how boys walked, their muscles under their shirts, the stubble on their face and how it would feel—and just Trevor Spinnet in general.

However, it wasn't too much of an issue until Wednesday's Quidditch practice.

James had booked the field for an hour in between Slytherin and Ravenclaw's time slots to run a drill with his chasers a couple extra times before their match against Hufflepuff that Saturday.

However, the overlap meant that both the Slytherin and Gryffindor team were in the locker room at once.

James had forgotten that meant Regulus would be there too. Changing.

He stared.

Regulus was shredded, his muscles cut out sharply in his clear, pale skin.

James's pants began to tighten and he began to panic.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

That wasn't good. That wasn't good at all.

"James?" Marlene called, "we're ready! Hurry your arse up!"

"Yeah!" James swore as everyone turned to look at him, "just give me a second."

He grabbed his towel and hurried into the showers, turning it to ice cold.

It wasn't working. He could still see Regulus from above the stall, and when he dropped his glove and bent to grab it, James thought he was going to literally drop dead on the shower floor.

"James Potter." Marlene came back into the locker room, her arms crossed, "the fuck are you doing?"

"Err—I smelled?" James gave a guilty smile.

"You scheduled an additional practice." Marlene reminded him. "You uprooted our schedules with no notice and now you're using our field time to shower!"

"Marls," James groaned, dropping his voice, "I'll be out in just a second. I—er, well I have an issue."

"What?"

"An issue." James flickered his eyes down, "you know—"

"Oh!" Marlene's eyes widened, "oh, oh Merlin, James Potter—ew! Why would you tell me!"

"Well I didn't necessarily tell you." James rolled his eyes, "just give me a minute, yeah? Can you start without me?"

"Yeah, sure." Marlene looked at him disgusted, "I hate that you put that picture it my head."

"You're the one who asked!"

"Never once did I ask, James."

"Whatever. Can we keep this between us?"

"Yeah, obviously." Marlene scoffed, "like I'd ever want to repeat this atrocity to anyone."

"Thanks, McKinnon," James sighed, "you're brilliant."

"I won't be running the laps next practice!" She yelled, leaving the locker room.

"Fair enough!" James laughed.

He was relieved to see the Slytherin team was gone by the time Marlene left, the locker room being empty made things much easier for him.

"Alright team!" He ran out onto the pitch several minutes later, "sorry 'bout the delay, you guys ready?"

>•<

"Mr. Potter?" James jumped, startling out of his trance.

The entire class was staring at him, McGonagall standing infront of his desk.

He smiled nervously, "sorry, Professor, what was the question?"

"We're reviewing our nonverbal vanishing spells," McGonagall said, "would you go to the front of the class and demonstrate?"

"Sure." James blushed, standing up and awkwardly walking to the front.

"That chair will do." McGonagall pointed to an old wooden rocker.

James nodded and raised his wand.

The chair disappeared, and everyone clapped.

Lily, Sirius and Remus, however, we're laughing.

"Very good, Potter." McGonagall nodded, "you may return to your seat."

"Thank you, Professor." He mumbled, hurrying back to his desk.

"What's the matter with you? Mate?" Sirius snorted, "she was standing in front of you for like three minutes."

"I didn't notice." James blushed.

"What's up with you?" Remus asked, "you've been off since the term started. Has something happened?"

"You were fine this summer." Sirius said.

"I'm fine," James said with a frown, "a lot on my mind is all."

"You can talk to us you know." Sirius said, he had stopped laughing.

"Nothings wrong!" James's voice got a little out of control.

The class turned to look at him again.

"Mr. Potter?" McGonagall frowned.

"I'm sorry, Professor," James's face was red, "I'm not feeling too great, can I please go to the Hospital Wing?"

She nodded, "I trust you can get there on your own."

"Yes, ma'am," he grabbed his books, "thank you."

Lily sent him a sympathetic glance as he rushed out of the classroom.

He loosened his tie as practically ran to the loo, splashing his face with ice cold water.

That was embarrassing

James couldn't remember the last time he had truly been embarrassed, but that—that felt suffocating.

He took a couple deep breaths before leaving the loo, making his way back to his dorm.

The common room was empty besides some sixth and seventh years studying in their free period.

James walked by them, straight up the stairs and to his bunk, taking his knitting needles out from where they were hidden in his pillow case.

He stared down at them in his hands with a frown.

He had never told anyone he knitted before.

Nobody but Regulus Black.

It was something he kept to himself, his Mum had taught him when he was little—he didn't think any thing of it until he came to Hogwarts.

The other boys had packed figurines and chess boards, he had brought yarn and his knitting needles.

He had said it so casually, without a second thought to it.

"I like to knit."

Regulus hadn't teased him. He didn't seem to find it odd at all.

But how did the words come so easily when it was Regulus but not for anyone else? Why was he spewing shit to someone he barely knew when he wouldn't even tell his best mates? Hell, why the fuck did he read a twelve hundred page book when he didn't even read. In only a week nonetheless.

Lily's words echoed in his head.

You find yourself doing things that you would've never imagined doing before

Did this count?

James frowned. He didn't think he fancied Regulus. How could he? Like Regulus had said, they barely knew each other. James could count the times they had interacted on his hands.

Sure, Regulus had a great body. James was obviously attracted to him physically, after the events of the locker room the other day he couldn't even bother to try and deny it.

Regulus Black was nice to look at.

But so was Sirius, but Sirius had never made him feel like that.

Trevor Spinnet did.

James would let him hit him with a bludger if he asked him too. If that wasn't a clear indication that he wasn't straight, he didn't know what was.

If Regulus Black tried to hit him with a bludger, James would hex him.

But then again, Regulus would never hit James with a bludger because he was a seeker, not a beater.

So what was it about him then?

James shook his head, it wasn't worth getting worked up about.

After all, he was no Trevor Spinnet.

Chapter Text

"Black."

"Potter."

"Doing all right then?" James asked, signing into the logbook.

"Fine," Regulus crossed his arms.

"Good, good." James hummed. "Me as well, good week then?"

"Fine," Regulus shrugged.

"Excited for the match?" James tried. "Ravenclaw versus Slytherin?"

"Not in particular." Regulus said. "I'm quitting the team."

"You're quitting?" James repeated, "why? The season has already started."

"I have more important things to do with my time." Regulus said.

"But you're so good at it!" James protested, "you cannot quit. It would be a tragedy."

"My mother has decided that is no longer a justificatory use of my time." Regulus said. "I do not have a choice."

"You don't have to do everything she says you know." James said.

"Yeah?" Regulus laughed dryly. "What do you recommend I do, Potter? Go off the rails like my brother and find myself killed?"

"They wouldn't kill you." James said, "and disownment hasn't been too awful for Sirius."

"I'd be killed." Regulus said.

"Not for quidditch!"

"No. That'll just earn me more scars." Regulus hissed. "There is no denying my mother. You do as she says and that's the end of it."

"Just tell her you've quit." James said. "It doesn't have to be true. How would she figure out?"

"She would."

"How?" James challenged. "All your cousins have graduated. How would she know? Who would tell."

He was right.

They had all graduated. Now, it was solely Regulus and Sirius in the castle carrying the Black name.

Regulus went quiet. The letter burnt in his mind.

Could it be that easy? Could he just lie. He didn't want to give up quidditch. She'd find out. She always did.

"What did my brother do?" Regulus spoke unsurely. "He quit when mother told him to."

"What?" James frowned. "Sirius never revived a letter telling him to stop. That's not why he quit. It's a punishment, he's not allowed on the team."

"Of course," Regulus scoffed. "Bloody idiot."

"He was." James agreed. "What he did was a new level of stupid."

"He never received a letter?"

"Honest." James nodded. "Don't quit, Regulus, you're too talented."

Regulus stared at the floor, his cheeks lightly blushed red. "It's not my choice."

"Really." James said earnestly, "I haven't seen a seeker fly like you before. It's amazing."

"I don't want to quit." The words surprised him as they fumbled out of his lips.

James's face brightened and Regulus's throat tightened.

"You can't quit then!" James protested.

"I have to." Regulus said, "my mother, she—"

His body ached as the flashbacks resurfaced, scars littering his body that had still yet to heal. The iciness seared into his bones from hours upon hours of the Cruciatus curse.

"Make up some shite," James said. "I'm sure you're a good liar, just like Sirius."

The comment seemed to be a light handed joke but it stabbed Regulus and he felt as if he couldn't breathe.

"Regulus?"

"I don't like to lie." Regulus forced the words out, "I don't like to lie. I only do it when I have to. I don't—I don't—"

"Okay, I'm sorry." James looked concerned, "are you alright?"

Regulus was silent, however, his head shook so slightly, James barely noticed it.

'no'

"Regulus?"

Regulus wanted to cry. He didn't know why, but his legs were failing him, and he was stuck standing in the corridor beside James Potter, feeling like he was drowning.

His eyes burned with tears and his a dead weight was on his chest, and he clawed at it in a panic.

"Regulus! Hey!" James was in-front of him.

He tried to step away from him but tripped over his own feet and landed on the ground.

"It's alright." James crouched down, "I won't touch you, I promise. But I think you're having a panic attack, we're going to breath, okay? Do it with me. In—"

Regulus let out a strangled sob, trying to take in a breath.

"Good!" James encouraged, "out now, come on, you can do it."

They sat in the corridor for several minutes breathing.

"I'm sorry." James shook his head. "I should've known—especially after Sirius. I wasn't thinking, it's my fault."

Regulus closed his eyes, burying his face into his hands.

"I reckon you'll tell them all about this then?" He said miserably.

"What!" James's voice seemed strained. "Absolutely not! Regulus, I'd never do that."

Regulus looked up, confused.

"Look—" James ran a hand through his hair, "I wasn't kidding when I said I'd get you out of there. I gave you my word and I fully intend to uphold it. I know you don't trust me, and you have no reason to. But I can help."

James met his stone grey eyes and something seemed to shift inside of them.

"I hate you."

"Fair." James shrugged with a sigh. "For what it's worth—I'm sorry."

"I hate myself."

James froze.

"You're a completely different person." James said after a minute, "aren't you?"

"What?" Regulus scoffed.

"You're a completely different person." James repeated. "You have a mask. Don't you?"

Regulus didn't know how to answer.

"Do you hate muggles?" James said.

"Yes." Regulus's eye twitched, "they're insolent creatures."

"Liar." James challenged with a frown. "I don't think you do."

"They're below us as a species. Those of their kind shouldn't be allowed to mix with our kind. It is shameful and a waste to dirty magical blood."

"Bullshit."

"I hate you."

"I know." James rolled his eyes. "What about house elves?"

Regulus tensed.

"Fuck you."

"Sirius has mentioned one before—Kreacher?"

"Fuck you."

"Who are you? Regulus? Really?"

James stood up, looking down at the younger boy with more curiosity than malice.

"I trust you, you know." James said.

"You shouldn't." Regulus replied.

"I know." He frowned. "I don't know why I do. I don't know you. But my intuition isn't ever wrong and I have a good feeling about you. I don't think you like anything people think you to be. I think you're just like Sirius—but you're better at hiding it. You say you don't like to lie. Regulus Black, you are a lie."

"You're delusional." Regulus spat, climbing to his feet.

"Who are you?"

"I'm the heir to the house of Black."

"What're you without your surname?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit." James huffed. "I don't think you even know yourself, r
Regulus. Don't quit quidditch, it's the only thing that makes you look alive."

He walked away.

Regulus didn't reply, nor did he follow.

What the fuck had just happened?

Chapter Text

Who are you?

Regulus walked through the corridors alone, feeling sick to his stomach.

Who was he? Really?

He couldn't even answer, because he didn't think he really knew.

Regulus closed his eyes and took a breath.

He'd start with things he liked.

Books, Quidditch—

There had to be more than that.

Piano?

Regulus frowned. Did he actually like the piano? Or was it just something his parents had required him to like.

Ballroom dancing?

No.

Magic?

No.

That one caught him off guard. How could he not like magic.

He was gay. That's one thing he knew for certain. Possibly the only thing that he was confident in. He liked boys. That didn't matter of course, he'd have to get married and reproduce to continue the Black name.

He wasn't a hypocrite. Regulus was not fond of the idea of a mistress. He would be loyal to the unlucky woman who would be force to wed him. It would be indecent and disrespectful to be shagging men on the side.

He liked being alone, but it also terrified him. Being alone meant being safe, but the concept of loneliness made Regulus want to jump off the astronomy tower.

His name was Regulus Arcturus Black. He was 16 years old, a sixth year Slytherin and the heir of the Black family. He was five foot ten, had black hair, pale skin, and grey eyes. His favorite subject was potions, his least favorite was defense against the dark arts. He was a son and a brother—although he wasn't sure either of those counted. He was a friend, a student, a seeker, and a prefect. He liked to read. He didn't like magic.

Regulus ducked into the nearest classroom.

James was right. He had no idea who he was.

>•<

"Hello."

"What're you doing here?" Regulus raised an eyebrow.

"I just saw you out here and thought I'd join," James shrugged.

"Why?" Regulus frowned.

"Felt like it," James smiled, "also, I think I have to apologize."

"For?"

"I was too intense—last night. I shouldn't have said any of that. It wasn't my place. I'm sorry."

"You were right." Regulus said plainly, "I don't have the slightest clue who I am."

"That cannot be true."

"I told you I don't lie."

James frowned.

"Don't look at me like that," Regulus said.

"Like what?"

"Like you pity me."

James rolled his eyes, "come on Black, I'll race you."

Regulus gave in and followed James around the pitch.

"You're not even trying," James accused. Halfway through his fifth lap, he realized Regulus was no longer behind him, but instead, hovering by the goal posts.

"I don't need to prove I'm faster than you," Regulus said lazily, "you're a chaser, you're job is to be quicker than me."

"Fair enough," James said, coming to a stop beside him. He crossed his arms behind his head and laid back on his broom with a yawn.

"How're you doing that?" Regulus asked.

"What?"

"Laying down like that," he frowned, "how do you balance?"

"My legs," James said, closing his eyes. His knees hung on either side of the broom, his ankles crossed underneath. "Then you just center your spine and lean back."

Regulus did as he said. His broom wobbled slightly but he was able to mimic James's position.

They stayed their in silence, letting the breeze pass through their hair as they gazed up at the stars.

"We're not friends." Regulus said.

"Okay." James hummed, "show me the constellations?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm sure you're an expert on them," James grinned, "where's your constellation?"

"Oh honestly," Regulus groaned, "do you not pay attention in astronomy at all?"

James shook his head, "I'm not a night person, I usually fall asleep."

"It's not a constellation," Regulus sighed, "it's a star."

"Where is it?" James asked.

"It's in the Leo constellation." Regulus said, "it's the last star in the Sickle handle. It looks kind of like a upside down question mark."

"Is it that bright one?" James pointed.

"It is." Regulus confirmed.

"Isn't Leo the Lion constellation?"

"It is."

"So Regulus is with the Lion?" James joked, laughing.

"I suppose so," Regulus rolled his eyes.

"Where's Sirius?"

"Sirius is the brightest star in the sky."
Regulus said bitterly. "It's downwards and to the left of Orion's belt. It's part of the Canis Major constellation, Sirius is the Dog Star."

James snorted and almost fell off his broom, shaking with laughter.

"I'm sorry—did you just say the Dog Star? As in the woof woof dog?"

"Yes?" Regulus raised an eyebrow.

"So Sirius is a dog?"

"Yes."

James sat up and doubled over, clutching his stomach, "Merlin, that's brilliant, oh I can't breathe."

Regulus didn't understand what was so funny but James's laugh made the corners of his lip pull upwards.

"I'm not going to quit." Regulus said, staring up at the stars.

James stopped laughing. "Quidditch?"

Regulus nodded. "I don't like too many things—but Quidditch, I think it's important to me."

"Good." James said firmly. "You shouldn't have to quit something that makes you happy."

"I'm never happy." Regulus frowned, "I don't think I've ever been."

James didn't say anything.

"Do you remember what you said last night?" Regulus turned to meet his gaze.

"I said a lot of things." James said awkwardly.

"About trusting me." Regulus said quietly.

James nodded.

"I don't trust anyone." Regulus said, looking away once again. "But I feel it too. I let my guard down too easily with you. I don't like it."

James nodded.

"You shouldn't trust me." Regulus said, "I'll let you down. That seems to be all I can ever do."

"Regulus, you're just a kid." James frowned, "you deserve to live like one."

"I was never a kid." Regulus laughed bitterly, "I'm nothing more then a possession."

"You're so much more than that."

"You make me uncomfortable." Regulus frowned. "I don't like being around you—but I keep finding myself near you."

"That's my fault." James said. "I always seem to find you."

"Hmm," Regulus pursed his lips, "I suppose I'll just have to hide better."

James laughed, "was that a joke?"

Regulus shook his head, returning back to the ground. "Goodnight, Potter."

"Goodnight."

Chapter Text

James Potter quickly became the bane of Regulus's existence.

He was everywhere. Everywhere Regulus didn't want him to be.

He made him overly aware of every thought, feeling, and action he had ever experienced.

It was terrible, absolutely horrible, and Regulus wanted nothing more than to disappear when time and time again, James Potter found him. Just as he promised to.

"Black!"

Regulus sped up. This however, was no James Potter.

"Black! I know you can hear me."

"Fuck off, Rosier!" Regulus yelled.

"Will you fucking stop and speak to me?" He grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around.

"Get your fucking hands off me." Regulus backed away.

"Come back to my dorm." Evan demanded.

"No."

"I said come back to my dorm." He went to grab him again but Regulus yanked his arm away.

"Are you thick? What part of we're done do you not understand?"

"We're not done."

"Evan. We're done." Regulus said, "I'm not fucking doing this with you anymore."

"Come back to my dorm or I'll tell everyone you take it in the arse like a little bitch."

"You wouldn't."

"Do you really want to find out?" Evan challenged.

Regulus stared at him.

Evan took in a deep inhale.

"REGULUS BLACK—"

The corridor was empty but Regulus still swung.

His fist connected with Evans face and the boy recoiled, holding a hand to his cheek.

"Did you just fucking punch me?" His eyes were wide, "you little shit."

Regulus was tackled to the ground and soon they were rolling around the corridor, landing sporadic hits.

"Oi!"

And there he was.

Regulus fought the urge to scream, he turned his head to confirm what he already knew to be true.

James was running down the hallway towards them.

Evan took the opportunity while Regulus was briefly distracted and swung.

However, he was sent flying back. James's wand outstretched.

"Rosier!" He yelled, "detention."

"He fucking started it, the fucking queer." Evan spat.

"Great insult!" Regulus laughed, "interesting from the guy who can't even get it up for his girlfriend."

"You little—" he surged forward but James had stepped between them, one hand holding Rosier back as he bent down to help Regulus up off the floor.

Regulus shoved his hand away and brushed off his cloak as he rose to his feet. "You're fucking pathetic, Evan."

"Fuck you, Black."

"You already did!" Regulus laughed manically, "who's fucking queer now?"

"You're such an ass."

"And you're engaged." Regulus bit back. "I told you I wouldn't be a fucking mistress. You can't have both, Evan, I just happened to make the choice for you. Man the fuck up and walk away."

And he did.

He turned around, shoving James's hand off him, and stalked off down the corridor.

"Are you alright?" James asked.

"Fuck off."

"Was all that he said true?" James asked, "are you really—you know?"

"What? Queer?" Regulus spat defensively, "the word won't fucking kill you."

"No, no," James's eyes widened, "I didn't mean it like that, I just—I didn't know."

Regulus rolled his eyes, "go away, Potter."

"You have a black eye." James said, "I can take you to the hospital wing."

"I'm fine." Regulus tried to walk away.

"I'll make sure his detention is brutal." James said.

"No need." Regulus said, "he was right. I started it. Just leave it be."

"You started it?" James frowned, "Regulus, you're a prefect."

"So?"

"You can't just go around starting fights." James said. "We're supposed to be setting examples."

"Brilliant coming from you." Regulus scoffed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Mr. The rules apply to everyone but me and my fucking minions." Regulus narrowed his eyes. "Don't fucking preach the rules to me when you're notorious for breaking them."

"I just saved you for getting your arse kicked!" James yelled.

"I never asked you to!"

"Oh, my bad, I didn't know you wanted to get the shit beat out of you in the middle of the corridor."

"Oh just shut up already!" Regulus shouted.

"I won't!" James yelled back. "You're better than this."

"What do you know?" Regulus asked, "we're hardly even acquaintances, Potter."

"Because you block everyone out," James said, "I've been trying so hard to get you to trust me and all you do is throw it back in my face. Regulus, I want to be your friend."

"Why the fuck would I trust you?" Regulus said, "you're bloody delusional."

"No, Regulus, you're just pathetic." James bit back, "you think the whole world is against you because you make it that way!"

"No, you just grew up with a perfect life that gave you a false sense of reality," Regulus said, "welcome to the real world! It fucking sucks."

"I did grow up privileged." James said. "I am spoiled. I am arrogant. I am proud. But I'm not fucking sheltered. I know the shit that is happening, the shit you're roped up in. I know the consequences but I still extend my hand because you deserve an out."

"Take your hand and shove it up your arse," Regulus said, "you don't know anything about consequences. You do something wrong, you get detention. I make a single wrong step and my life is on the line. Stay the fuck away."

"I won't."

"Then you're a idiot."

"Why do you always walk away from me like that?" James said as soon as Regulus had turned to leave.

"Excuse me?" Regulus raised an eyebrow, looking over his shoulder.

"It's rude." James said plainly. "Do you even know where you're walking to? Or do you just leave because I make you uncomfortable? You were here first, why are you letting me chase you away, Regulus?"

"What?" Regulus scoffed.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" James asked walking closer.

Regulus fought the urge to take a step back. He was too close. Too close that his breath was warm on his skin.

"You flatter yourself." Regulus said, trying to keep his voice from wavering.

"Prove me wrong then." James challenged. "Don't run away."

"I'm not running away," Regulus argued, finally taking a step back.

"What would you like to call it then," James didn't relent, taking a step forward to make up for the once Regulus just took. "Because to me, it's running away."

"Potter." Regulus growled.

"Regulus."

"I told you to leave me the fuck alone."

"And I told you no."

Regulus didn't know who leaned in first but the distance was closing quickly until his lips were caught between James Potters. 

His lips seemed to have a mind of their own, indulging in James's lips, his scent, his taste, his breath.

But then he pulled away and reality came crashing down.

James took a step back, his eyes wide.

"Regulus—I'm so sorry." He whispered, horrified, "I don't—I don't know what happened."

"Leave. Me.  Alone." Regulus took a sharp breath in.

James nodded and turned away, hurrying down the corridor.

Regulus had proved him wrong, this time James Potter was the one who ran.

Chapter Text

James ran into the nearest bathroom, locking the door behind him.

What had he done?

That—that wasn't supposed to happen.

He had just kissed Regulus Black. Sirius's brother. It was a bloody brilliant kiss. Maybe he finally understood why everyone raved about snogging—Regulus—Regulus was different then the girls. Better. He had just kissed him, and then ran away.

Shit, he had ran away.

James scrambled to his feet in a panic and rushed back down the corridor.

"Regulus!" He called, catching sight of the boy rounding the corner, "Regulus! Wait!"

Regulus looked over his shoulder and scowled.

"Why won't people just let me walk down the fucking hall?" Regulus groaned.

"I am so sorry." James panted, "so, so sorry, I don't know what came over me."

"You're all the same," Regulus scoffed.

"What do you mean?" James frowned.

"As soon as you find out I'm queer, you straight boys think you can use me as some sort of fucking experiment, I'm so fucking tired of it."

"Regulus—"

"Go on." Regulus stared, "threaten me. Blackmail me. Tell me if I don't listen you'll tell the entire school. I've heard all of it before."

"From who—"

"I don't give a shit anymore," Regulus said, "just leave me alone."

"Regulus—"

"No. I won't do it."

"Regulus!"

"No! Potter!" He walked away, "I won't."

"Regulus! I'm gay." James called after him.

The Slytherin froze. "No you're not."

"I am." James breathed, "and I don't know who did that to you, but I promise, my intention is not to use you, nor to out you. I won't say anything."

Regulus narrowed his eyes, "bullshit."

"If you want to believe that, sure," James shrugged, "but you have my word. And really—I am sorry."

Regulus nodded curtly before continuing down the corridor, leaving James standing there.

His head was spinning.

He had just kissed James Potter. Gryffindor golden boy, James Potter.

He had kissed James Potter and it had felt unimaginably amazing.

Why did it feel like that?

Regulus had kissed people before—a lot of people. Boys, girls...he had gotten around, but never once had he experienced a kiss like that.

It was short too, he couldn't imagine what it would've felt like if he were to make out with Potter. Brilliant, possibly...no probably. Definitely.

Merlin's balls, he wanted to kiss James Potter. What was happening? Why did he feel like he was going to throw up.

He couldn't have feelings for James Potter.

But he's gay.

No he's not, he was just saying that.

But what if he was honestly telling the truth? He wouldn't like Regulus, would he?

He had kissed him. It was not one sided. They had both indulged themselves before pulling away.

Why?

"You look like you're going to be sick." Pandora frowned as Regulus walked into the Great Hall, "are you feeling alright."

"Fine." Regulus croaked, "can you pass me a glass of water?"

"Sure." She passed it over to him.

The glass was cool against Regulus's feverish skin and he downed the contents quickly.

"What's happened?" Pandora asked. "Why do you have a black eye?"

"Got in a fight." Regulus grunted.

"With who?" She gasped.

"Rosier."

"Where is he?"

Regulus shrugged, "who gives a shit."

"Here, turn here," she grabbed his chin, and raised her wand to his eye. "Episkey."

The throbbing under his eye subsided and so did the crease in his forehead.

"Thanks," he sighed.

"You're welcome." She squeezed his cheeks.

"Lestrange." He groaned.

"Oh, shush." She smiled patting his face before turning away.

Regulus made the mistake of looking up.

From across the hall, James Potter's eyes immediately found his.

Regulus's eyes widened briefly, before quickly looking away.

Why did it have to be him.

Not only did he make Regulus want to run into a volcano, but he was also his brother's best friend.

Regulus stayed planted in his seat. He knew as soon as he moved to leave, James would follow. That was likely the last thing he wished to go through at the current moment.

However, James seemed to have the same idea, so that's how they ended up the two last students in the hall as dinner was ending.

"I'm sorry." James walked over to him.

"I don't want to talk about it." Regulus said, walking quickly to the exit.

"I don't want this to ruin things."

"There's nothing to ruin."

"Who were you talking about?" James pried, "are people giving you shite?"

Regulus stopped suddenly, turning to face James. "Are you even gay?"

"I told you I was." James stared, "well, I'm still figuring it out actually—I think I may be pansexual, but I'm definitely not straight."

"My brother knows?" Regulus asked.

"No." James flushed, "no, nobody knows. Just you."

"I told you you shouldn't trust me." Regulus began to walk again, James following closely behind.

"I didn't do it on purpose!" James defended.

"Don't tell Sirius." Regulus warned.

"I'd never tell him about you!" James said, affronted, "Regulus, I won't tell anyone."

"No. That's not what I mean." Regulus said seriously, "don't tell him you're queer. He won't take it well."

James's heart sunk, "what do you mean."

"We were raised with very particular opinions around the subject." Regulus said, "Sirius was always progressive with most our family's beliefs, but this is one he is very much not. He won't take it well."

"Are you sure?" James frowned.

"He caught me kissing a boy once," Regulus admitted, "it was my first kiss, a muggle boy from town when I was ten—kicked the shite out of him."

"Really?"

Regulus nodded, "I didn't think it was that big of a deal—I wasn't the heir and our society isn't that prejudiced against same-sex couples. But pureblood standards were different—are different...just watch your back."

"How'd you know?" James whispered, "that you were gay?"

"I'm not going to divulge my entire life story to you because you've decided you're gay, Potter." Regulus rolled his eyes, "we're still not friends."

"But—"

Regulus shook his head, cutting him off. "We are acquaintances whom accidentally kissed—something we will not discuss again."

"Very well," James subsided, "if that is what you want."

"It is." Regulus nodded.

Chapter Text

Their next patrol was as if there had been a shift between them. It was different—new.

"Hey." James fell into step with him, careful to avoid his eyes.

"Hey." Regulus answered.

"How was your week?"

"Fine I suppose."

"Good."

"Mhm." Regulus nodded awkwardly.

James looked away and they walked for a couple moments.

"And you?" Regulus finally said with a strained voice. "Good week?"

"What—oh! Yeah! Yeah, great week." James stammered.

"Good."

"Yeah." James breathed "Nice weather."

"Is it?" Regulus asked, his mouth was dry and he cleared his throat desperately. 

"Yeah," James rubbed the back of his neck, "not too hot, not too cold—"

"That's nice."

"Yep."

They walked in silence.

"Regulus?" James asked hesitantly an hour later.

Regulus look over with a sneer, "what?"

"The other day—" James chewed his lip nervously, "you said something about straight boys using you, is that true?"

"I thought we agreed not to discuss the other night." Regulus growled.

"I didn't mention that." James rolled his eyes, "you dodged my question—and you never said this was off the table."

"Well it is." Regulus said bluntly.

"Are they—do you—does it still happen?" James pressed on.

"Drop it, James."

The use of his name startled him, Regulus's face had turned pale and he started to quicken his pace, getting several paces ahead instead of besides of him.

"Who is it?" James frowned.

"It's none of your business."

"I know about Rosier. Who else?"

"I said it's none of your bloody business."

"Snape? Mulciber? Crouch?"

"Of course." Regulus said with a scowl, glaring at James over his shoulder, "everyone always assumes it's a Slytherin."

James froze.

"Bloody typical." Regulus scoffed. "Maybe it's one of your precious Gryffindor mates."

James knew he was trying to get under his skin and it was working. The idea of it made his skin crawl, he had to shove his hands in his pockets in order to keep from scratching.

"Who?"

Regulus shook his head. "We're splitting up."

"We're not supposed to do that." James frowned.

"I don't care." Regulus shook his head, breaking off to go down a separate corridor.

James followed him. "I'm not letting this go. Nobody should be allowed to do that to anyone. If you won't tell me who it is, you'll have to at least tell one of the professors, they can get it sorted out."

"Prince Potter coming to the rescue!" Regulus laughed, "like that won't make things worse at all!"

"Dumbledore can help."

"Fuck that. Leave me alone."

"You're a good kisser."

Regulus froze, frantically scanning the corridor. They were alone.

"Are you mad!" Regulus's eyes were wide.

"Oh, come of it." James rolled his eyes, jogging to catch up with him, "nobody's here. It's like midnight."

"We agreed never to speak of it."

"Yeah, dumb agreement." James said, "I won't kiss and tell, I promise. But it's all that's been on my mind since."

"Shut up."

"I'm serious," James frowned, "I've kissed girls. So many girls. But shite, you? Bloody hell."

"Shut up."

"Ive never felt like that before." James rambled on, "like my insides were all sorts of knotted, and my head was all fuzzy, it was almost like—"

Regulus lunged forward and seized him by the collar, slamming his back against the wall.

James flinched, expecting a swift punch to the face.

Regulus's lips came crashing down onto his and he gasped in disbelief.

Regulus's took advantage of that, using the opportunity to slip his tongue into James's mouth.

James moaned, his fingers coming up to tangle in Regulus's neat hair, he'd love to see it all messed up.

Regulus fumbled them down the hall and into a broom closet without moving more than two inches from James's body.

James heart beat exhilaratingly as Regulus pushed him against a wall once again, trailing kisses down his jaw and neck.

"Regulus." James groaned as Regulus began to fumble with the buckle of his belt.

"Shh," Regulus kissed him.

"You don't have to—" James was cut off by a kiss, "I'm not trying to use you—Regulus."

He sucked on his throat and James let out a rumbling moan.

"How do you like it?" Regulus whispered, tugging at James's curls.

"W-What?" James stammered.

"Top or bottom?"

James stared at him, his lips parted and swollen, his eyes confused.

"Well?"

"Top or bottom?" James repeated, "for what."

"Oh for fucks sake!" Regulus growled. "Sex. Potter, we're about to have sex. Now, do you take it or give it?"

"Oh!" James's eyes widened. "I don't—I don't know I suppose. I've never done it before."

Regulus sprung back, his eyes wide.

"You're a virgin?"

"Yeah." James flushed furiously. His belt buckle was undone, his button down untucked and un buttoned to his sternum exposing his chest. "Is that an issue."

Regulus cleared his throat. "Yes, yes, very much so."

He ran a hand through his hair, and straightened out his clothes. "Goodnight, Potter."

He opened the door and left, closing it quickly behind him and leaving a very confused James Potter alone in a dark closet with a massive hard-on.

"Fucking hell." He swore, looking down at his trousers.

Regulus fled down the halls, trying to get as much distance from him to the broom closet as possible.

What the fuck was he thinking?

What was it about James Potter that made him lose all sense?

He almost shagged James Potter—a virgin.

Regulus's throat went dry.

He didn't sleep with virgins. Especially not a Gryffindor virgin who had just discovered he was gay.

In a broom closet.

A first time shouldn't be taken away from anyone. It should be done properly, not a shag in a closet after an argument.

Regulus swore, kicking the wall.

He was a bloody idiot for instigating it, and even more for wanting it.

His head was pounding and his trousers felt as if they'd fit a twelve year old, and not for the first time, nor the last time that week. Regulus wished he could disappear. Fade into the background.

No Voldemort. No family. No James Potter.

Just him.

Just Regulus.

Chapter Text

"Good practice, Marls," James threw an arm around her shoulder, "really, you did great. I think we're in good shape for our match next week."

"Thanks, Cap," Marlene grinned, "need me to stay and help clean?"

James shook his head, "I've got it. You go ahead."

"Alright," she kissed his cheek, "I'll see you later!"

"Bye," James waved as she jogged back up to the school.

He walked around the pitch, collecting the cones he had laid out for a ground drill, putting them back into the supply closet.

The sun had sunk under the horizon and a slight breeze had picked up, blowing through James's unruly hair.

He smiled and mounted his broom, taking up to the sky, leaning back and balancing on his spine.

Clouds hid the stars from view and dimmed the light from the moon but James didn't mind.

His broomstick stayed stable in the air and he just watched the sky, crossing his legs under the broom to keep him steady.

It was a habit he had picked up when he was young. Drove his Mum mad, she had always believed he'd fall and hit his head one day.

But seventeen years later he has still yet to fall.

He turned his head as he heard the storage shed door slammed closed.

Someone had mounted their broom and took off to do laps around the pitch.

It was dark out and James couldn't make out who it was, but he sat up and watched them fly.

It was a boy, he determined.

He flew with a natural grace, perfectly steady and confident in the air, preforming tricks every couple minutes.

He dropped into a dive and James eyes widened as he pulled up at the last moment, turning into a spin.

"Bloody hell," James breathed. "That was a perfect Wronski, Mate!"

The boy froze, looking around. He turned in James's direction and immediately descended to the ground, James doing the same.

"That was brilliant!" James grinned, jogging forwards.

"I pulled up too early," the boy mumbled, looking down at his feet.

"Regulus?" James asked, only a few feet away.

"What do you want? Potter?" Regulus looked up, his face wind-burnt, his eyes tired.

"Nothing, nothing," James held up his hands in surrender, "I just finished cleaning up practice and fancied a fly. If anything, I should be asking you why you're out here. It's nearly grounds curfew."

"What're you going to do?" Regukus challenged, walking back towards the shed, "give me a detention?"

"Maybe," James smirked, following, "come on, out with it, what're you doing out here?"

"I was helping Professor Sprout in the greenhouses," Regulus said.

It was an obvious lie but James's grin just broadened, "fair enough, no need for a detention then. Head boy rules."

Regulus rolled his eyes.

He wasn't wearing a cloak, just a button up rolled to his elbows and undone to his sternum, with a pair of grey trousers. It suited him.

They both reached for the door handle and their fingers brushed.

Regulus went stiff and yanked his arm away, but James grabbed it before he was able to.

"Your skin," James whispered, a hand enclosed around Regulus's wrist, "you're ice cold. Regulus, how long have you been outside? Here—" he shrugged off his cloak, "take this."

Regulus pulled his arm away and turned away from James.

"Take it." James said sternly, holding out his cloak.

Regulus stared at him like he was mad. "What're we doing?" He demanded.

"I don't know." James admitted, tossing his cloak over the boy's shoulders.

"We can't be doing this." Regulus's hands balled into fists by his sides, "we-we just can't. I'm bad for you."

"You're not bad." James argued, taking a step forward.

"Don't." Regulus warned. "Don't do this James. I can't—I won't be able to handle it."

"Handle what?" The words left James's lips almost unwilling and seemed to freeze in the air between them.

"Leaving you." The emotion drained from Regulus's eyes as he replaced his walls. "Goodnight, Potter."

James's cloak fell to the ground as Regulus walked away, and all James could do was watch.

He stood there frozen watching Regulus disappear.

"Then don't leave me." James's words got lost in the night air.

James didn't see Regulus for the next few days. He was good at that, disappearing.

James hated it.

"What's got you in a mood?" Lily asked, spreading jam on her toast.

"Nothing," James grumbled, pushing his eggs around his plate with a fork.

"You keep looking over at the Slytherin table," Lily hummed, "is there a prank that I should know about? Is that why the rest of the boys aren't here?"

"No prank," James said, "they're still asleep, it is nine o'clock on a Saturday after all."

"I see, not morning people then," Lily nodded.

"Clearly," James scoffed.

"And you?" She asked.

"I've never been one to have a lie in," He admitted, "I'd much rather get up and start the day."

"Who would've guessed," Lily laughed, "I would've thought you the epitome of a night bird, Potter."

"Quite the opposite, really," James smirked, "and you? Evans?"

"This is a rarity," she admitted, "typically I'm not stirring before noon on the weekends, but Marls and Mary are having a row—woke me up, figured I'd just come get something to eat."

"What're they fighting about?" James asked.

"Beyond me," Lily shrugged. "You know them, they're always arguing about something."

"Girls." James laughed lightly, "I don't understand how you can go from wanting to rip each others throats out to best mates in a second."

"Trade secret." Lily grinned, nudging him with her elbow.

He offered her a weak smile, his mind racing a million miles a second the longer Regulus was missing from the Slytherin table.

"Come out with it then. What's the matter?"

James shook his head, breaking his gaze on Regulus's typical spot as he lifted his mug to his lips. "Trade secret."

Lily rolled her eyes with an amused laughed, "are you drinking black coffee?"

James flushed and cleared his throat, immediately putting his mug down.

"Yes."

"Hold on—" her eyes brightened as she grabbed the cup from infront of him, ignoring his protests as she brought it to her lips.

"Evans!" James groaned, his face the color of their decorative banners.

"Ha!" Lily grinned triumphantly. "Just as I expected. Hot cocoa."

"Fine. You got me." James sighed, grabbing the mug back.

"You're just a big child, aren't ya?" She teased, pinching his cheek.

"Don't tell anyone." He whined. "Black coffee is much more macho."

"Your secret is safe with me, cocoa boy." Lily smiled. "Although it is very plain. You need whipped cream and marshmallows."

"Lily!" James groaned.

Chapter Text

Regulus pressed his lips against the girl infront of him and she immediately raked her fingers through his scalp. 

The sharp nails, the glossed lips, it was wrong. All wrong.

His mind drifted to a particular Gryffindor and he pulled away with a gasp.

"What's the matter?" She frowned.

Her hair was a pretty blonde, and her eyes a pale blue. She was beautiful, but she was not a boy.

"Nothing," Regulus shook his head.

"Would you like to take me to your dorm?" She grinned, running her hands down his chest.

"Not today." He drew away with a shake of his head. "Goodnight."

"You're joking?" She screeched after him as he walked away. "What're you? Gay?"

Regulus froze, the common room turning to stare at the commotion.

"Regulus Black? Gay?" Barty scoffed, pulling away from the girl on his lap. "In your dreams, Love, maybe you're just not that pretty."

Regulus shook his head as she burst into tears. Pushing his was through the crowd that had gathered.

"That was quite the scene."

Regulus swore, he must've forgotten to charm the room locked before he left.

"What do you want?" Regulus spat, sitting down on his bunk.

"I heard you and Rosier called it quits." He sat down besides him, putting a hand on Regulus's thigh.

Regulus pushed it away quickly, his stomach churning. He stood up and crossed the room, watching Trevor Spinnet sitting on his bed.

"Why don't we give it another go?"

"How'd you get in here, Spinnet?" Regulus met his dark eyes.

He was handsome. Very much so with sandy brown hair that fell in curls, and dark brown eyes.

"Disillusionment spell." He said. "We just learned then in charms."

Regulus frowned.

"So what do you say?"

"Get out."

"What?" Trevor frowned, reaching to grab Regulus's hand. "Why?"

Regulus pulled away, "I'm done. Leave."

"Regulus. I know I've been an arse but I've changed. Really, I want to be with you."

Regulus's lip twitched.

Trevor stood and cupped Regulus's face in his hands.

"I love you, Reg." He whispered, bringing his lips down to his, "please give me another chance. Give us another chance."

Regulus pulled back immediately, his eyes flashing dark. "You've been drinking."

Something flickered in Trevor's eyes and his smile turned dark. "Come on, Reg, you still hung up on this? So what if I've had a couple drinks. I'm of age."

"Get the fuck out, Trevor." Regulus's voice shook.

"I gave you your space, Regulus." He frowned. "You had a year to get over yourself and under whomever you pleased. But enough is enough. You belong to me. You're mine."

"I'm not." Regulus said, "not anymore."

He made his way to the door, trying the handle.

It was locked.

"What the fuck, Trevor!" Regulus swore, reaching in his pocket for his wand.

It was missing.

"I'm not letting you out of here." Trevor said, twirling Regulus's wand in his hand. "Not until we figure things out."

"My taste in men really sucks arse." Regulus grumbled to himself. In times like these, he wished the Slytherin dorms weren't in the dungeons. At least then he would've had a window as an escape option.

"Give me my wand."

"Come get it." Trevor stuck it in his waistband.

"You're disgusting."

"That's not what you used to say."

"Merlin's Fuck! Trevor!" Regulus threw his hands up in the air. "This is why we broke it off in the first place. I told you I'd reconsider if you stopped drinking. You haven't. I've moved on, I advise you do the same. We will never be involved again."

"Your making a mistake."

"And you're drunk." Regulus crossed his arms, "leave. Spinnet."

"Regulus." Trevor surged forward.

Regulus tried to keep him away but he was unarmed and much smaller than the older boy and his beater build.

"Let go of me." Regulus narrowed his eyes as Trevor had him pinned up against the wall.

His lips were forcefully pressed against Regulus's once again and the boy fought against him, flailing desperately.

"We can make things work." Trevor whispered against his lefts, the scent of Firewhiskey burning Regulus's nose. "Please, Reg."

"Maybe if you were sober. Jackass." Regulus grunted, turning his head away.

"Bombarda!"

The door to the dormitory was blasted open and Barty Crouch stood in the doorway with a grim expression.

Trevor's body sagged against Regulus's as he was hit in the back with a stunning spell.

"You alright, Mate?" Barty asked, he grabbed Trevor by the collar and yanked him backwards, letting him fall against the floor.

"Fucking blunderhead." Barty scoffed, kicking him in the nose. "Arse."

"Thanks." Regulus hid his shaking hands in the pockets of his robes. "He took my wand."

"And shoved it down his trousers, I see that." Barty rolled his eyes and retrieved it, giving it to Regulus. "Really, you okay? Did he do anything?"

"I'm fine." Regulus shook his head. "He just wanted to talk."

"You better not have bloody listened!" Barty's eyes narrowed, "bruises are harder to hide when you live with someone, Regulus. I didn't say anything then, but I will now."

"He's not too shite of a guy," Regulus shook his head, his cheeks stained red, "not when he's sober, at least."

"Well he's a proper fucker when he's pissed." Barty scoffed, "what do you want me to do with him? I don't reckon we can get him out without anyone noticing."

"I don't know." Regulus said, with a frown. "You're right. We won't be able to sneak him out."

"You go." Barty nodded. "I'll deal with him when he comes to."

"No, that's alright."

"I don't want you to be here, Regulus."  Barty said seriously, "go find Pandora, you can sleep in her room tonight. I can deal with Spinnet."

Regulus nodded feebly. "How'd you know?"

"It's harder to hide something when you live with someone." Barty said. "But I didn't know it was Spinnet. Not until I walked in here. I knew something was wrong when the door was spelled shut from the inside as well."

"Thank you, Barty." Regulus said. "Really."

Barty nodded curtly. "Go. I'll deal with him."

Regulus nodded and ducked out of the dorm and back to the party.

Pandora wasn't in the common room, so he ducked through the crowd and down the hallway that led to the girl's dormitories.

He knocked on her door and it opened a second later to her in her pajamas.

"What's wrong?" She asked immediately, pulling him inside the room.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" He asked.

"Of course." She gave him a hug, "whats happened?"

"Long story." He mumbled.

"Well if you're staying all night, I'd say we have more than enough time." She grinned, pulling away. "Don't worry about Dorcas coming back, she's out for the night—spending it with her boyfriend."

"Dorcas got a boyfriend?" Regulus asked.

"Yeah, he's a Hufflepuff." Pandora nodded, sitting on her bed, she patted the spot next to her. "Tell me what happened."

He looked at her.

She was squeezing his hand and smiling supportively at him.

He let out a relaxed breath and allowed himself to smile back nervously.

"I'm gay."

Pandora's eyes widened for a split second but that was the only indication of her surprise.

"I had my suspicions." She giggled, "I'm glad you told me though."

"Is it that obvious?" Regulus frowned, "Barty figured it out."

"I wouldn't say it's obvious." Pandora smiled, "I'd just say that I know you very well."

Regulus rolled his eyes with a fond smile.

"Run in with an ex then?" She whispered, "you're shaking. Was it Rosier?"

"Figured that one out too?" Regulus laughed dryly, "no. Not Rosier. Trevor Spinnet."

"Trevor Spinnet?" Pandora's eyes widened, "Gryffindor Beater Trevor Spinnet?"

Regulus nodded. "We started going out in my fourth year, broke up fifth year. He's got a drinking problem. Was a brilliant boyfriend until he had some Firewhiskey."

"Oh, Reg—"

"I gave him a year." Regulus laughed bitterly, "he hasn't got his shit together, so I said I was done. He didn't take it well. Barty came upstairs just in time, he's dealing with him. Didn't want me there."

"I'm sorry." Pandora pulled him into a tight hug. "You should get some rest." She whispered, "big game tomorrow."

"Just another thing I'm going to get my arse kicked about." Regulus scoffed, "I should've just quit."

"Don't say that." Pandora scowled, "you're too good at it. Besides, you deserve control over your life. No matter how shitty it may be."

"The life of Regulus Black." He joked miserably.

Chapter Text

James woke up the next morning with a grin.

Gryffindor vs. Slytherin.

Their first match and the second game of the season.

Slytherin had destroyed Hufflepuff the previous week 320-50 no doubt thanks to Regulus Black not quitting.

"Get up boys!" He shouted. "Game day!"

Peter groaned, "just because you have to get up at the crack of dawn doesn't mean we do!"

"Game day!" James repeated with a laugh.

A half hour later he was leading a trail of bleary-eyed marauders down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

"Morning, Cap," Marlene yawned, falling into step with him, "ready for today?"

James nodded with a grin, "I reckon it'll be a good one. We're fairly matched with Slytherin."

"What's your prediction?" She asked.

"Early lead for us, Slytherin catches the snitch, but we win with points."

"Confident in your abilities, aren't ya?" Remus laughed.

"You bet," James grinned, "and Regulus Black's seeking skills. Bloke is mad on a broom."

Sirius scoffed and rolled his eyes.

The team slowly filed into the hall, taking various seats surrounding James as he talked vicariously about his plan for the match.

"Everyone finish up and meet me in the locker room." He said, standing from the table.

"The match isn't for another hour." Trevor Spinnet protested.

"It's not my fault you got plastered last night, Mate," James laughed, "we've still got to warm up. Take a pepperup."

The stands were filled with green and red, the whole school seemingly had come out to see the match.

"Captains!" Madam Hooch's whistle sounded and James's walked out onto the pitch.

He was met with cheering and gave a dramatic bow, waving to the crowd.

"Shake hands," she ordered.

Lucinda Talkalot held out her perfectly manicured hand and James took it.

"Gryffindor, your call." Madam Hooch said.

"Heads."

She threw the coin in the air.

"Gryffindor's pick."

"Slytherin can have the quaffle." James nodded, "we want the right side."

"Very well." Madam Hooch blew her whistle once again.

"Players take the field!"

The two teams filed out of the locker rooms, taking their positions.

"On my whistle!"

The whistle blew and fourteen players took to the sky.

The bludgers and the snitch was released and the game had begun.

Trevor Spinnet hit a bludger towards the Slytherin with the quaffle and it dropped and was quickly recovered by Marlene.

"Potter!" James caught the ball and soared towards the Slytherin goal posts.

"Fuck yeah! James Potter with the first goal of the game, ladies and gents."

"Mr. Lupin!"

"Sorry, Minnie."

James shook his head with a laugh, grinning up at Remus in the commentator stand.

Just as he had expected, Gryffindor took an early lead, 120-10 by the first hours.

He had the quaffle tucked under his arm, his chest nearly flat on his broom as he spun to avoid a Bludger.

The Slytherin chasers were on either side of him, jostling him to get the ball.

James dropped quickly into a steep dive and pulled up with a turn towards the goal post.

He was going to score again. He adjusted the quaffle in his hand and drew back his arm and—somebody was screaming.

Somebody was screaming?

James looked over his shoulder, immediately dropping the Quaffle; shooting to the other side of the pitch.

"Potter! What the bloody fuck are you doing?" Marlene shrieked.

But James wasn't paying attention to her.

Regulus Black was falling from several feet above.

Everyone was watching him in shock, but James was urging his broom faster. He set into a dive, his fingers wrapping around Regulus's collar a second before he hit the ground.

James was too low to pull up and the two of them went tumbling to the ground.

They hit the grass and the momentum of the broom sent them skidding across the pitch.

James held Regulus's head to his chest, keeping a hand supporting his neck.

Madam Hooch rushed over, blowing her whistle frantically to stop the game.

"Mr. Potter!" She fell to her knees next to them, "are you alright?"

"I'm fine," James groaned, placing Regulus on the grass, "check on him first."

James assumed he had got hit by a bludger, a welt was on his hairline and blood dripped down his forehead.

"Straight to the hospital, the both of you." Madam Pomfrey declared, rushing onto the field.

"Detention, Spinnet!" McGonagall shrieked, "that was an illegal hit."

James felt himself being levitated onto a stretcher.

"I can walk!" He protested.

"Quiet, Potter," McGonagall snapped.

James shut his mouth. His glasses were cracked, a line going across his left eye, and his right arm had a cut from his wrist to his elbow, he had gotten nicked by a rock as they slid.

"It's broken." Madam Pomfrey declared as they sat in the hospital wing.

"Oh, that's fine," James shrugged, "easy fix? Right?"

Madam Pomfrey frowned, "typically," she said, "but there's no way of knowing if you've got nerve damage, but with a break like this I highly suspect it. I'm keeping you overnight."

"No," James groaned, "Poppy, please don't, it's so boring in here."

"You're staying, Mr. Potter," she said with a stern glare.

"Fine." He huffed, leaning back on the pillows.

"I'll have to contact his parents." Madam Pomfrey said.

"No!" James said quickly, "no you can't."

Madam Pomfrey and McGonagall both raised an eyebrow at him.

"It's procedure, Mr. Potter."

"He's told his parents that he quit Quidditch." James said, "they can't know he still plays."

"And how do you know this?" McGonagall frowned.

"He told me." James said, "he got a letter just last week about it."

"That seems very unlikely, Mr. Potter," McGonagall frowned, "I don't recall ever seeing the pair of you interacting civilly in the years you've been here."

"We're partners for patrol." James explained. "Just please hold off on telling them. You can ask him when he wakes."

"Very well," Madam Pomfrey nodded, "we won't make any decisions without Mr. Black's consent."

James felt the panic reside and he smiled graciously, "thank you."

"Get some rest, Mr. Potter."

Chapter Text

Regulus groaned, his eyes fluttering open, a nasty pounding behind his temples.

James, who had yet to fall asleep, left his own hospital bed and settled down in the chair beside Regulus's.

"Feeling alright?" James asked as Regulus's eyes opened fully and he propped himself up on his elbows.

"Potter?"

"Yeah," James nodded.

"What time is it?"

"Probably around two," James said, "you're in the hospital wing."

"Why are you here?" Regulus asked, rubbing his head. "Last I checked, we weren't friends, Potter."

"You had a nasty fall," James scrunched his nose, "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm not something you can fix," Regulus crossed his arms, "stop pretending I am."

"I'm not trying to fix you," James shook his head, "why don't you realize that?"

"Then why are you here?" Regulus gritted his teeth, "I'm not Sirius."

"No, you're not," James agreed. "His nose is much bigger."

Regulus wasn't amused.

"Look, what happened the other night shouldn't have ever happened," Regulus said, "you don't need to feel any responsibility towards me. We can pretend it never happened."

"If that's what you want." James frowned, "I'll respect it. But forgetting it ever happened was never my intention."

Regulus stared at him, his emotions guarded.

"The whole world isn't out to get you, Regulus," James shook his head, "not everyone is looking to stab you in the back the second you turn around."

"What're you playing at? Potter?" Regulus's tough façades faded and he just looked tired.

"I'm saying that I'm here for you," James said, "no concealed motives, I promise."

"Why?" Regulus asked.

"Because everyone should have someone," James said, "and Regulus Black, you are alone."

The words cut and Regulus took a sharp inhale before answering.

"What do you know? I'm not alone. And what if I was? What if I like it that way?"

"Then tell me to leave." James said.

He had subconsciously leaned forward and they were so close he could feel the heat of Regulus's breath.

Regulus searched his eyes, his brows furrowed, a frown etched on his face.

James sat still, waiting.

When Regulus opened his mouth to speak James was expecting rejection.

"Stay."

James's eyes widened, a grin forming on his face, "really?"

"Oh, fuck you, James Potter." Regulus seized his face and their lips met in a furious clash.

James reacted immediately, grasping Regulus's hip with his good arm.

His lips were soft, he tasted like peppermint.

Kissing Regulus's always threw James's head into a spiral.

Kissing Regulus was like drinking an entire bottle of Firewhiskey. His taste, his smell, it was intoxicating. He was afraid if Regulus let him, he'd never stop.

They pulled apart, breathing heavily.

Regulus was saying something but James couldn't focus, his gaze fixed unwaveringly on Regulus's swollen lips.

"Have you heard a thing I just said?" Regulus frowned.

James looked up with a guilty smile, "not a thing."

"Honestly." Regulus tried to keep a straight face but the corners of his lips betrayed him.

James's smile widened and he pressed a chaste kiss to Regulus's lips, "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

"What are you expecting from me?" Regulus turned solemn, "because, I'm not going to be able to give it, you can't save me. My life is messy and complicated, why get involved? You can't get anything out of this."

"I'm not trying to get anything from you," James said, "I like you, isn't that enough?"

"I don't see how you can," Regulus said, "do you not understand who my family is? James, we're in a war, me and you—we're on opposing sides. This is just going to hurt us both, don't you see that?"

"So be it." James said.

"I don't want a relationship." Regulus said.

"Okay," James nodded, "we can be just friends." He forced the words out, it would kill him not to be able to touch the Slytherin after knowing what it felt like.

Regulus seemed to share those feelings.

"Friends with benefits," he settled, "everything minus the commitment and the emotions. Deal?"

James's eyes widened before a smirk took its place, "what does benefits entail, Black?"

Regulus's eyes fluttered briefly to James's trousers before looking him dead in the eye, "everything."

James's smirk widened, "I think we've got ourselves a deal."

"Good." Regulus wasted no time, pulling James forward by the front of his shirt.

James allowed himself to indulge in Regulus's lips for only a minute before he pulled back.

"What's the matter?" Regulus frowned.

"Madam Pomfrey has been coming to check on you every ten minutes," James explained.

Regulus's eyes widened, "you're going to get caught here."

"Nah," James grinned, "I won't."

He slipped away, hurrying over to the bed one over to Regulus's left.

The Slytherin stared at him, raising his eyebrows questionably.

James just winked, before laying down and faking sleep.

Like clockwork, Madam Pomfrey entered the room a moment later.

"Mr. Black," she seemed surprised, "you're awake. How're you feeling?"

"Fine," Regulus said.

"You're very lucky Mr. Potter got to you when he did," she said, moving to the side of his bed.

"James Potter?" Regulus frowned.

Madam Pomfrey nodded, "he caught you just inches before you hit the ground from what I hear."

"Oh." Regulus said.

"You can thank him yourself in the morning," she smiled, "he got himself a little banged up but should be good as new tomorrow. As for you, hopefully we can get you out of here by Tuesday. Head injuries are tricky, you'll be needing a lot of rest."

Regulus nodded.

"Have you contacted my parents?" He was dreading the answer.

"I have not." Madam Pomfrey said, "Mr. Potter mentioned that it may be against your wishes to do so."

"He would be correct." Regulus said.

"You will have to sign a form confirming your decision," Madam Pomfrey hummed, "but that can wait until the morning. Right now you need your rest, we'll discuss what happened when you wake."

"Thank you."

Madam Pomfrey smiled, "make sure to take the potions, I've set them out on the nightstand with a glass of water."

"Yes ma'am."

"Goodnight, Mr. Black."

She pulled the curtains around his bed and put out the lamp with a flick of her wand.

The curtains opened again just a minute later and James poked his head through.

"I don't think she'll come back," he whispered, sitting back in the chair.

"Come up with me." Regulus whispered, scooting over.

James's eyes widened, "really?"

Regulus nodded, "I know I put on a mask but I am an actually person Potter."

James crawled onto the bed, sitting cross legged by Regulus's knees.

"If we're going to do this, you have to call me by my name." James said with a laugh.

Regulus's face screwed up in a frown. "That may be a deal breaker."

James laughed and Regulus immediately grabbed his wand to cast a silencing charm around them.

"Whoops." James's eyes widened.

"What happened?" Regulus ask, "the last thing I remember was seeing the Snitch."

"Spinnet got you with a bludger," James explained, pointing to Regulus's forehead.

"Trevor?" Regulus's lip twitched.

James nodded.

"Of bloody course he did." Regulus muttered. "Such an arse."

James look at him confused, "do you two know each other?"

Regulus scoffed. "No."

"You called him Trevor." James said.

"That is his name." Regulus said.

"Is Spinnet—is he one of them?" James asked slowly.

Regulus didn't answer.

"Regulus?"

"No." Regulus said, "he's just an arse."

"Oi. That doesn't seem fair. He's a good guy."

Regulus frowned. "Trevor Spinnet is an arse."

"You don't even know him."

"I don't need to. He's an arse."

"Is it because he's a Gryffindor?" James asked defensively.

"No it's because he's an arse."

"You know him."

"No I don't."

"You totally do." James crossed his arm, "tell me."

"Why do you insist you know everything?" Regulus groaned.

"Because it was an extremely illegal hit, and from the looks of it, it was on purpose."

"It was." Regulus agreed, leaning forward towards James, "I'm not talking about it."

"Reg—"

Regulus cut him off with a kiss.

"Why talk when there's so many better things you can be doing with your mouth."

James flushed, giving into the kiss.

Regulus Black definitely knew how to shut him up.

Chapter Text

"You wanted to meet with me?" Trevor Spinnet came up to James. "Sorry to catch you in the library, Marlene said you were looking for me, it took me awhile to find you."

"Yeah, you can sit." James said.

"How's your arm?"

"Fine," James nodded.

"You wanted to talk to me about the hit?" Spinnet looked down at his clasped hands.

"Yeah." James nodded. "What were you thinking? It was illegal, you've been playing for years, you know this. Not to mention how dangerous it was. You could've killed him."

"I'm sorry, Cap."

"Sorry isn't good enough, Spinnet." James said. "That hit was intentional. I can't have you putting the team at risk like that. So you're going to explain to me what happened and I'll let you know if you're allowed back on my team."

His eyes widened in fear. "You have to be joking."

"I can assure you I am very much not." James said, "I'm not fucking around with this shit, Spinnet, I said that to you lot at tryouts."

"Regulus and I got in an argument last night." Trevor said. "The little freak and his friend stunned me and left me on the floor for hours. His friend—Crouch, broke my nose and dragged me to the great hall by my feet. Landed me a weeks detention for being out after curfew."

"They left you stunned on the floor?" James frowned. "How'd nobody find you? Where?"

"In their dorm."

James's eyelid twitched.

"What were you doing in Regulus's dorm, Trev?"

"We—well, we used to be friends." Trevor's voice hitched on the word. "Regulus and I. I just wanted to have a conversation with him."

James's blood went cold.

"You just wanted to have a conversation?" He repeated.

Trevor nodded.

"And he stunned you for no reason?"

"Yeah!" Spinnet said, "he's fucking crazy. You've got to believe me."

"Get the fuck out of my face, Spinnet." James spat, "you're done. Hand in your uniform by Friday."

"You're fucking with me." Trevor laughed.

"You don't get stunned for no reason after you sneak into someone's dorm, Spinnet." James shook his head, "and then you fucking attacked him? What the fuck is wrong with you."

"They attacked me first."

"I doubt that."

"So you're going to side with a Slytherin instead of me? Someone you've been in class with for seven years now."

"You bet your fucking sorry ass I am." James scowled, "you're off the team. Permanently."

"Fuck you, Potter."

James watched him leave and his stomach churned with disgust.

He grabbed the map from his bag and scanned it quickly until his eyes settled on Regulus's dot.

He was alone in the perfect's bathroom.

James grabbed his bag and set off in that direction.

"Regulus?" James called. The map had shown only Regulus in the room but it was empty.

"James?" Regulus's voice called back from one of the private bathing rooms, "what do you want?"

"I need to talk to you!" James said, walking over to the door. "Can you come find me when you're done?"

"Just come in." Regulus's voice called back.

"Are you sure?" James flushed.

The door swung open to reveal Regulus laying lazily in the pool, his wand pointed at the door.

"Lock it behind you," Regulus sighed, casting a silencing charm.

"Sorry for barging in here." James said, putting down his bag, sitting by the edge of the pool.

"That's alright," Regulus shrugged, "I don't mind."

"Err—right."

James blushed realizing that the Slytherin was very much nude. He kept his eyes trained on his lap as he searched for words.

"You can look." Regulus said boldly. "However, I don't know why you're just sitting there. If it's so important that you had to find me in here, the least you can do is get in."

"Oh." James's eyes widened, "alright then."

"How'd you find me?" Regulus asked as he watched James undress, his eyes focused on him intently.

"I have a map." James said as he kicked of his trousers shyly.

"Where's your Gryffindor courage?" Regulus teased, "come on then, before I change my mind."

James shook his head with a scowl, kicking off the rest of his clothes and diving into the pool.

"Took you long enough." Regulus smirked, wrapping his arms around his hips. "So? A map?"

James nodded, his throat going dry as Regulus pressed a kiss to his collarbone. "Yeah, it shows the entire castle and where everyone is. Handy for pranks."

"How'd you get it?"

"We made it," James said. "Peter, Remus, Sirius, and I."

"That's convenient." Regulus hummed, nipping at James's skin. "What'd you have to talk to me about?"

"I've just come from a meeting with Trevor Spinnet."

Regulus tensed immediately and pulled back slightly.

James didn't let him go, holding him in place by the waist.

"You two were involved?" He asked although he already knew the answer.

"Yes." Regulus said bitterly. "Is that what you wanted?"

"Did you break things off the other night?" James asked.

"No." Regulus scoffed. "I ended things a year ago. We went out in my fourth year."

"Did he—"

James squeezed his eyes shut, his jaw tensing. "Did he hit you? While you were going out?"

Regulus pulled away from him, turning his back to hide his face.

"I'm sorry—" James started immediately.

"Trevor's not a bad guy." Regulus's voice was weak, "he was a proper boyfriend—but he's got a drinking problem. He used to come to my dorm pissed and he'd get aggressive. I ended things because of it. Told him I'd give him time to figure his shit out. He didn't."

"Regulus—"

"It's alright." Regulus shook his head with a dry laugh, "I've had worse. Way worse than Trevor Spinnet."

James swam over wrapping his arms around Regulus from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder.

"You don't deserve that." He mumbled, pressing a kiss to his hair. "Nobody should be allowed to lay their hands or wand on you. Especially not when you're involved with them."

Regulus nodded.

"He's off the team." James said, "you don't have to worry about it happening again."

Regulus spun around in his eyes.

"You've kicked him off the team? Are you mad?"

"What?"

"Spinnet is a brilliant beater!" Regulus argued, "the seasons already started, you've put yourself at a huge disadvantage now. How're you going to find and train a new beater in time for your match against Ravenclaw? It's in less than two weeks!"

"I don't care about any of that." James shook his head. "Quidditch should be fun. Nobody should have to worry about a member of my team going rouge and attacking them. I'll deal with it."

"You're an idiot, James Potter." Regulus groaned, hitting his head against James's wet chest.

James laughed, holding Regulus tighter against him, "let me know if he bothers you again."

"I can handle him myself." Regulus said.

"I know." James said with a smirk, "think you can handle me?"

Regulus drew back with a matching smirk, "is that a challenge, Potter?"

Chapter Text

September faded into October with several hidden sessions in broom closest and secret meetings throughout the castle.

James couldn't remember a time that he had been so content, school was good, quidditch was good, his friends were brilliant, and Regulus—Regulus was Regulus and that's all James needed him to be.

"Where've you been?" Remus looked up as James entered their dorm.

"Studying." James lied.

"With the cloak and map?" Remus asked pointedly.

"They were just in my bag." James shrugged, "didn't mean to take them."

"Sure," Remus smirked, "and what's your excuse for your jaw?"

"What?"

"The massive hickey on your jaw." Remus pointed it out. "Turn your head."

James did so reluctantly.

"There's one right under your ear as well," Remus pointed it out, "give it up then. Who is it?"

"Just a fling, I swear." James's stomach churned, "I did it to get over Lily. You can't tell anyone."

"Did you enjoy yourself at least?" Remus laughed.

"It's—it was good." James let an embarrassed smile sneak onto his mouth, "brilliant, actually."

"Good for you, Mate." Remus snorted, "I'll keep my mouth shut, I promise."

"Thank you." James breathed.

"I can heal those for you if you'd like me to?" Remus offered.

"That'd be great." James nodded, sitting beside him on the bed.

"These are brutal." Remus snorted, healing them, "there, done—any others?"

"Well—" James shrugged off his T-shirt.

"James!" Remus's eyes widened, "who'd you hook up with? A vampire?"

His chest to his hips were littered with dark purple love bites as well as fresh red ones.

"Jesus fuck," Remus stared in shock, "that seems like more than a fling."

"Multiple flings." James flushed. "I've been meaning to learn the spell for them."

"I'll teach you," Remus said.

"You're the best," James breathed, "really."

"It's nothing." Remus shook his head with a laugh.

"Say, Moony?" James started.

"Yeah?"

"How come you know the spell?" James asked.

"Oi!" Remus flushed, "I'm not asking any questions about your fling, you don't ask any questions either."

"Fair." James shrugged.

>•<

Regulus watched James walk out of history with his friends, a smile playing on his lips as Sirius whispered something to him, gesturing to a group of Hufflepuff girls.

James fell a couple paces behind the rest of them and Regulus stepped out from around the corner and walked directly into James, knocking into his shoulder.

James stumbled, his belongings thudding to the ground.

"Watch it Potter." Regulus hid a smile, bending down to help James pick up the books he had just knocked over.

"10 o'clock?" He whispered, bending their heads together.

James nodded discretely, "where?"

"Quidditch field." Regulus mumbled under his breath.

They stood up and James adjusted the books in his arms.

"Don't be late again! Potter!" He scowled, walking away.

"Oh, bugger off." James frowned.

"What was that all about?" Sirius raised an eyebrow, "why were you talking to him, Prongs?"

"Regulus is my patrol partner." James said, adding an eye roll to make himself more believable. "Drives me proper mad."

"Rotten luck." Sirius snorted, "how'd you end up with him?"

"Lily and her hope for house unity would be my guess," Remus joked.

"Yeah," James laughed, "she wouldn't let me redraw."

"I'm sorry you have to put up with him, Mate." Sirius said.

"Regulus isn't terrible," James shrugged, "he's not Snape."

"If I shared bloody with Snivellus, I think I would've thrown myself off the Astronomy tower ages ago." Sirius shuddered.

"Me too!" Peter grinned.

James couldn't sit still for the rest of the day thinking about Regulus.

Their meetings had quickly taken full control of his thoughts—Regulus's body, his hands, his mouth. It had already made for several awkward situations but Regulus's made up for them every time.

"Stop shaking your leg," Lily scolded, "you're going to make our potion spill."

"Sorry," James stopped.

"What's up with you? You haven't stopped moving all day."

"Nothing." James smiled, tapping his fingers against his knee.

She raised an eyebrow looking down at his hand. "You see happy."

"I am happy." James said.

"Yes, I know," she laughed, "but happier than usual."

"So do you." He countered, "how's Tony?"

"Good," Lily smiled, "he's just got a haircut, have you seen it?"

"Not yet," James shook his head. "I reckon I need one."

"No!" Lily gasped, "your hair is too pretty, don't you dare cut it."

"It's not too long?" James asked, running a hand through it.

"I don't think so." Lily said, "it suits you."

A quarter to ten, James snuck out of the common room, spitting a lazy response to the marauders as he left.

Regulus was already waiting for him when he got there.

"Hey you." James grinned, pulling him in for a kiss, "we're going for a fly?"

"Maybe later," Regulus smirked, "the locker room will work better for what I had in mind—if you're up for it of course."

James's eyes widened, "You mean—?"

Regulus nodded, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the locker room.

"I thought you didn't want to." James said, "because I was a virgin?"

"I've changed my mind." Regulus kissed him with more force, lifting James's shirt over his head. "Is that okay?"

"More than okay." James grinned.

There was mattress laid out in the center of the room and Regulus sporadically explained how he shrunk his mattress and brought it down while also trying to not separate his lips from James's.

They fell back onto it and James laughed, pinning Regulus down by the wrists.

"Are you sure?" James asked, leaning over Regulus, his skin glistening with a coat of sweat.

They had done things. Multiple things. Multiple times. But not this. Not yet. This was a line of intimacy the pair had yet to cross.

Regulus grinned and wrapped his legs around James's waist, rolling them over so he sat in a straddle on his hips.

He leaned down and teased James, breathing hot air on his neck.

The Gryffindor squirmed underneath him, his hands squeezing Regulus's hips.

"I'm sure," Regulus answered, bringing his lips down to James, kissing him as he unbuckled his trousers.

Discarded clothing was thrown to the floor and they remained in nothing but their boxers.

"You're positive you want to do this?" James asked sincerely.

"Oh for fucks sake, James," Regulus groaned, "get out your dick."

James's eyes widened but he grinned, lifting up his hips, "Aye, Aye, Captain."

"Love, if you make those jokes in bed, you'll never get laid," Regulus teased, helping him out of his underwear.

"You wound me," James pouted, tugging on the bottoms of Regulus's boxers, "you're turn. It's only fair."

Regulus rolled his eyes but a fond grin teased on his lips as he quickly discarded his last piece of clothing.

"You're stunning," James said, his lustful eyes trailing down Regulus's torso. His pupils were dilated and his skin a flushed red.

Regulus thumbed his swollen lips and moved to settle back down into James's lap, grinding down on him.

"Do me a favor?" He said innocently.

James watched him expectantly.

"Let me watch you fuck me." Regulus said starkly.

And oh, James's eyes widened as Regulus's fingertips trailed his shaft. That was new.

He moaned and tugged on the Slytherin's hair as he attached his lips to his neck.

"Fuck, Reg," James groaned as Regulus rolled his hips down making unbearable friction.

"I want-" Regulus gasped as James groped his arse.

"What?" James asked, "anything, Reg, I'll give you anything."

"You." Regulus said, "I want you inside me. Now."

James looked feral as he wrapped his arms around Regulus's waist, flipping him roughly onto his back.

"Say it again." James demanded, bringing his fingers to his lips.

"James," Regulus moaned, "I need you."

"Then have me," James slammed his lips onto Regulus's.

The Slytherin groaned into James's mouth as he slid two fingers into his opening.

"Fuck," Regulus swore, biting down on James's bottom lip. His legs were bent over the Gryffindor's shoulders, James between his legs, the two of them so close, Regulus couldn't distinguish James's heartbeat from his own.

"More."

James moaned as Regulus grabbed a fistful of his hair, yanking his face towards him.

James fit another finger inside, and Regulus shook with anticipation.

Their teeth were clashing together as they kissed with a force unlike any other.

"Start slow," Regulus whimpered as James retracted his fingers, better positioning himself between his legs.

James nodded and kissed him again, slowly and passionately as he pushed inside him.

Regulus gasped against his lips, biting down on James's bottom lip once again.

But James didn't seem to mind.

"This okay?" He asked, watching Regulus cautiously.

Regulus's eyes were closed, his body trembling. "Yes."

James bottomed out and the pressure drove him mad.

Regulus cried out as he began to move again, he reached for his own dick but James stopped him.

"I want to do it," he demanded.

Regulus squirmed, watching James intensely, his eyes wide and his mouth parted in a slight o.

"Faster."

When it was over they laid next to each other, panting heavily.

"We'll—we'll be doing that again, yes?" James turned his head to look at the younger boy.

"Oh yeah." Regulus breathed, "yes. We'll definitely be doing that again."

"Good," James hummed, closing his eyes. "When?"

Regulus grinned and rolled over, "now?"

James opened his eyes to see Regulus hovering over him, a hand on either side of his head.

"I like how you think, Black," he smirked, leaning up to kiss him.

Chapter Text

Regulus woke up in a frantic terror, gripping at his hair with muffled cries.

Exhaustion was starting to take hold due to the lack of sleep he had been receiving.

However, it was the nightmares that plagued him. It was something new every night and no potion or spell had been able to stop it.

This one was about Voldemort. Regulus had refused the Dark Mark and was tortured. Every limb being severed slowly until he was nothing.

The pain felt real, and his body ached with every movement.

He stood up to go get water and immediately fell to his knees, throwing up all over the floor.

His body shook with a cold sweat and he let out a cry, struggling to catch his breath.

He stumbled down to the common room and his body seemed to go on autopilot. 

He didn't know why but he needed to get to James.

He climbed the seven flights of stairs and rattled off the password he had overheard from a group of first years.

His dorm was easy to find, their names listed on a plaque on each room. His bunk was even easier, an obnoxious red trunk with J.P. engraved was placed by the foot.

"James?" Regulus whispered, pulling back the curtain, "James?"

He stirred, squinting at Regulus, his eyes widened as he registered Regulus was the one standing beside his bed.

They watched each other, searching the other's eyes in silence.

Sirius's bed creaked beside them and James froze, his eyes widening.

His panic was reflected by Regulus and in one swift movement, James seized him by the arm and yanked him into his four poster, closing the curtains behind them.

A silencing charm fell around them, and only them did James allow himself to breath.

Regulus had scrambled away and was now sitting across from James on the foot of his bed.

"Lumos," Regulus lit his wand and his features became more distinctive.

James squinted, allowing his eyes to adjust to the light as he grabbed for his glasses, shoving them onto his nose.

Regulus's face was red and the bags sat heavily underneath his tired eyes.

"Come here." James frowned, scooting over to make more room.

Regulus shook his head slightly.

"Oh, honestly," James sighed, "are you really just going to stare at me all night? Why'd you come up here?"

"I don't know," Regulus's voice was hoarse. "I don't feel well and I suppose I just wasn't thinking. I can leave."

"What's wrong?" James's brows furrowed, "do you need to go to the hospital wing?"

"No," Regulus's voice broke and he took a trembling breath, "no. Forget about it, I'm just going to go."

"No." James reached out and grabbed his hand, "Reg, you're okay, come lie down? Yeah?"

Regulus nodded feebly and allowed himself to be pulled forward.

"Is this ok?" James asked as they laid facing eachother—James dropped his hand, careful not to touch him.

Regulus frowned and shook his head.

"What—" James started but abruptly stopped as Regulus rolled into him. The Slytherin grabbed his hand again, interlacing their fingers, and pulled it over his waist and to his chest.

"Regulus?" James started.

"Don't," Regulus sighed, scooting further back into James's chest. "Please. I don't want to talk. Can we just sleep?"

James squeezed his hand, "of course."

Regulus was gone the next time James woke, and he would've convinced himself it had all been a dream if it hadn't been for Regulus's scent lingering in his bed.

Regulus wasn't at breakfast.

Or lunch.

Or dinner.

But at three a.m., Regulus Black was back in James Potter's bed.

He was fast asleep, one hand holding James's forearm, the other bent under his neck.

James hadn't heard him sneak in, and he didn't know how long he had been there but he didn't care. Regulus Black looked so peaceful in his sleep.

The lines that seemed to constantly crease his forehead were smooth—his features relaxed.

His breath fell even and his fingers were cool on James's skin.

James smiled and brushed the stray curl out of Regulus's eye before closing his eyes and drifting back to sleep.

He snuck into James's fourposter every night after that, however, he was always gone when James woke.

It was twelfth night when Regulus leaving had woken James. He groggily reached out and grabbed Regulus's hand when he moved to get up.

"Stay."

And Regulus did.

>•<

"Prongs, get up!"

James startled awake as the curtains around his bed started to shake, he grabbed his wand and a silencing charm engulfed the fourposter.

"James, did you spell this shut? What the fuck?"

"Shit." James swore under his breath.

"What?" Regulus yawned, rolling over.

"James?" Remus called, "what're you doing? Are you in there?"

Regulus scrambled to sit up, staring at James in horror.

"He's spelled the bloody thing shut," Sirius said, "what's he doing in there?"

"He can't know I'm in here," Regulus said, his face white.

"He won't," James promised, smiling nervously, "just stay in here, I'll go out and deal with them."

Regulus nodded.

"Reg?" James looked down at his hands.

"Yes?"

"Don't let this scare you away." James said sternly.

"It won't." Regulus said.

"James Fleamont Potter! I will blow up your bed."

James rolled his eyes, "just stay by the foot of the bed so they don't see you."

"Your middle name is Fleamont?" Regulus snorted, crawling over James's legs.

"Oi, shove it," James laughed, "ready?"

"Yeah," Regulus said.

"One more thing," James said, tossing a blanket over Regulus's head.

"Was that necessary?" Regulus groaned.

"Shh," James laughed, pulling the curtain open.

"What. The. Fuck." Sirius crossed his arms, staring at James accusingly. "Do you have a girl or something in there?"

"What're you jealous, Pads?" James teased with a smile, "Peter was just sleepwalking again last night, he kept ripping my curtains open, is all."

"Sorry." Peter flushed.

"Don't worry about it, Mate," James clapped him on the shoulder.

"We're going down to breakfast," Remus said, "we can wait for you to get dressed."

"Go ahead," James shook his head, "something I ate last night got my stomach feeling all funny, I don't really feel up to breakfast right now. I think I'll just have a lie in."

"Ok," Remus said, glancing back at James's bed suspiciously, "Pete and Sirius have detention and I have to tutor History. We'll catch back up with you at lunch?"

"'Course," James nodded, "I'll see you lot later then."

"See you," Sirius huffed, "come on, Wormy."

They left and James fell back onto his bed with a sigh. "They're gone."

"If we're going to keep doing this, you have to learn how to lie." Regulus said pointedly.

"I thought you don't lie." James laughed.

"Only when it's necessary," Regulus defended. "I've never heard someone lie as badly as you just did."

"What? I'm a perfectly fine liar!" James protested.

"You're not." Regulus said, "you're quite terrible at it actually."

"No more talking," James groaned grabbing at Regulus, "come lie down with me."

"I need to go back to my dorm," Regulus said, "and we did almost get caught."

"It's Saturday," James pouted, "and we've got the room alone until lunch."

"I'll stay for another hour," Regulus decided, "but then I really have to go."

"Yeah, yeah," James yawned, lifting the blankets to bundle under them."Come on, I can tell you're cold."

Regulus settled beside him, their noses brushing on the pillow, their legs automatically tangling.

"So...James Fleamont?" Regulus asked.

James groaned and closed his eyes, wrapping an arm around the Slytherin's waist to draw him closer.

"It's my dad's name," James whispered, "you're one to talk. Regulus Arcturus."

"You know my family is bats," Regulus hummed, "tell me about yours—your family."

"Well it's just the three of us—me and my mum and dad," he opened his eyes to find Regulus watching him, studying him so intensely, James found it difficult to hold his gaze.

"Are you close with them?" Regulus asked.

"Definitely," James smiled, "they're my biggest supports. I tell them everything, especially my mum."

"What's she like?" Regulus whispered.

"Well she used to be a healer—she's been retired since I was a kid. My parents didn't have me until later in life, my mum was forty-eight, dad fifty-one, so they're older than most. I worry about them sometimes, they're so involved with this war, my dad went back to his job at the Ministry and my mum is considering coming out of retirement, but they're old, you know? They're almost seventy and I'm just scared something will happen. I don't know if I'll be able to manage with them gone."

"They sound brilliant," Regulus said.

"They are," James grinned, "my dad is actually a potion master, he created Sleekeazy's you know."

"Hold on," Regulus sat up quickly, "you mean to tell me, your father created Sleekeazy's, the hair potion, and your hair is still how it is?"

"Oi! My hair is attractively unruly, I'll have you know," James pouted.

"Your hair is a mop," Regulus said, unsuccessfully trying to brush James's hair with his fingers so it laid flat, "why don't you use your father's potion?"

James groaned and rolled out of reach from Regulus's hands.

"Do you know how much of that potion was used on my hair growing up?" He said accusingly, "it was most literally created for me. The smell itself just makes me want to..." he shuddered. "Besides, I like my hair like this. I think it adds character."

Regulus gave him a look.

"What?" James laughed, "you don't think it makes me look charmingly attractive?"

"Maybe a little—" Regulus started.

"See, I told—" James grinned.

"Dumb." Regulus finished.

James shut his mouth quickly, staring blankly at Regulus.

"Do you really not like it?" He asked.

Regulus's eyes widened.

"I can put Sleekeazy's in it," James offered, "it's not always this messy."

"Fine," Regulus looked down at his lap shyly, "I'll admit that your hair is one of your more endearing traits."

"You mean it?" James asked.

"I do." Regulus conceded. He looked up and was met with one of James Potter's most brilliant smiles.

The radiant of joy that was the Gryffindor boy sitting peacefully in front of him made it all worth it.

All the suffering, the pain, the worry, the guilt.

James Potter was worth it.

Chapter Text

Saturday lie ins quickly became the best part of their weeks.

Sometimes they talked, other times they cuddled, but more often than not they were engaged in an activity that rendered them in various forms of undress.

"You're wonderful," James said lazily, letting his forehead fall against Regulus's.

Regulus's eyes sparkled, a grin on his thin lips as he watched the boy beside him.

James loved him like this. His eyes were a sight to behold, bright and blue, full of life and joy, crinkled in the corners due to his smile.

It was a version of Regulus Black that nobody else got to see.

"You have the loveliest smile," James breathed a laugh.

"Surely not," Regulus's cheeks grew red and he buried his head in James's chest.

"No?" James laughed, "and why is that?"

"Because the loveliest smile belongs to you," he whispered.

"You're right," James said smugly, "nobody can resist my kissable lips."

"And you ruined it," Regulus groaned, rolling over.

"Wait, no," James gasped through his laughs, "please come back, I'm sorry."

"No," Regulus pouted, "I was being nice and you ruined it."

"Please?" James drew the blankets to his chin, "it's cold."

"I actually do have to get going," Regulus said, searching the bunk for his clothes, "it's nearly noon."

"Is it really?" James sat up, grabbing his glasses to check his watch, "shite."

"Alright, I'll see you," Regulus pulled his shirt over his head, "where's the cloak?"

"Oh, here," James lifted the pillow and handed over his invisibility cloak.

"Thanks," Regulus kissed him quickly, "greenhouse tomorrow night?"

James's nodded.

"Brilliant, great lay, Cheers."

"Cheers," James echoed, watching him disappear under the cloak.

He couldn't help but feel disappointed watching him leave.

He laid back on his bed with a sigh.

What had he gotten himself into?

He was never supposed to have feelings for him, but now he feared that he was falling in love with Regulus Black.

Regulus was in the same predicament, swearing under his breath and he hurried down to the Slytherin dorms.

Loveliest Smile? Honestly

The shite that spews out of his mouth gets worse with every interaction. He should end it now, he knows that, it's already gone too far. But he won't—doesn't he deserve this single selfish thing? Can't James be his, even if it was only in secret?

"What's that face?" Barty frowned. "Who is he?"

Regulus shook his head, "nobody."

"Regulus." Barty frowned, "did you get back with Rosier?"

"No."

"It can't be Spinnet—you look too happy."

"It's not Spinnet," Regulus said, searching for a change of clothes, "it isn't anyone."

"It's not nobody," Barty said, "you're never here at night and you keep on disappearing during the day."

Regulus didn't answer.

"Is he an arsehole?"

"What?" Regulus looked at him. "No."

"You've dated arseholes." Barty shrugged. "Are you dating someone or not?"

Regulus didn't answer.

"See." Barty rolled his eyes, "what's he like then?"

"He's different." Regulus said, hiding his smile, "not like the others."

"Different?" Barty asked. "So he's not an arse?"

"No." Regulus shook his head, "he's not an arse, quite the opposite actually."

He felt the blush creeping down his neck and his his face in his hands, swearing under his breath.

"Shit." Barty's eyes widened, "you really like him."

Regulus shook his head, "we agreed on no feelings."

"He asked that?" Barty asked.

"No," Regulus said miserably, "it was my idea."

"Oh. That's easy then," Barty said, "just tell him you've changed you mind."

Regulus scoffed, "I can't do that."

"Sure you can."

"Hey! I know we've agreed to be nothing more than shag buddies but I've changed my mind!"

"Regulus, you're sleeping in his bed." Barty said pointedly, "do you go over to shag him every night?"

"No." Regulus blushed, "we normally just sleep."

"Shag buddies don't do that."

"He's just a good guy, Barty."

"Yeah, sure." Barty snorted. "Talk to him, mate, I'm sure he's thinking the same thing about you."

"And if he says no?"

"Then you move on." Barty said, "better to know now."

"I can't give him up." Regulus said. "I should—I have to. But I can't."

Barty watched him with a frown.

"Barty—I can't."

"You love him." Barty said.

Regulus froze.

"Don't you?"

"It's only been a month—"

"You love him."

A flash of fear pierced Regulus's body.

Was that what he was feeling?

He couldn't be in love with James Potter. Could he?

"It's only been a month." He repeated, gasping for air.

"You're not denying it."

"It's only been a month." Regulus repeated desperately. "I can't breathe."

Barty stopped pressing immediately, his eyes widening in panic, "shit, I'm sorry—I'll get you some water."

He ran to the bathroom as Regulus sat down on his trunk, trying to calm himself down.

"It's not a bad thing." Barty tried, handing him the water. "It's not like you're in love with say—"

He thought for a moment.

"James Potter!"

Regulus's blood went cold and he choked on the water, spitting it down his shirt.

"Yeah—that would be worse." He said with a grimace.

"Besides, Mate," Barty said with a grin, "you fall easy, you'll get over it, just like Spinnet, just like Rosier."

"What do you mean?" Regulus frowned.

"It won't last long. You'll get over him and under someone else." Barty shrugged, "Think about it, you only stayed with Spinnet because shagging him got rid of the numbness and did you even like Rosier in the first place?"

"Well—"

"You didn't." Barty snorted, "and now you've broken up with him and moved on to the next guy. Don't stress about it, Reg, it'll pass."

"I don't think that's fair—" Regulus started.

"It's not your fault." Barty said, "your parents fucked up your perception of love, you fall for anyone who'll give you their attention, and sleep with them even if their the most degrading arses in the castle."

Regulus didn't answer.

"Oh balls, I've upset you!" Barty exclaimed, "just ignore everything I said. I've just drank a bottle of bourbon—I'm totally pissed right now."

"No—it's fine." Regulus shook his head, "you're not wrong, and you're not drunk."

"I'm sorry." Barty sighed, "shit, Reg, I'm so sorry, you know I don't think before I speak, I didn't mean it."

"You did, and it's okay." Regulus assured him, "I'm going to get some air."

Barty nodded, an awkward grimace on his face as he watched Regulus leave.

He had majorly fucked up.

Chapter Text

James threw all his gear into his locker, took a quick shower, grabbed his bag and rushed over to the greenhouses with a grin.

He couldn't wait to tell Regulus about a joke he had overheard some third years telling in the halls—or about a wild dream he had the previous night which included a Hippogriff riding a broom.

The greenhouse was empty when he arrived and he frowned as he checked his watch. He had assumed Regulus would've already been there since he was late, but the Slytherin must be running behind himself.

He unpacked his bag, laying out a blanket and some snacks behind a line of dittany.

However, after another quarter hour, Regulus still hadn't turned up.

James began to worry, pulling the map out of his bag.

"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good."

Regulus hadn't left his dorm.

James frowned and put the map away, leaning back against the wall. Maybe he was just held up, James decided, he'd just wait a little longer.

But after three hours, James had come to the conclusion that Regulus wasn't coming.

He went back to his dorm, laying awake in his bunk, waiting for his curtains to be pulled back and a familiar boy to crawl in with him.

But Regulus never showed up, and James never fell asleep.

"You look dreadful." Peter said, pushing a cup of tea into his hands.

James groaned, staring at the Slytherin table, Regulus wasn't at breakfast either.

"Drink your tea James." Remus chided, "we have a Tranfiguration test in an hour."

"Didn't you sleep?" Sirius asked.

"No." James whined.

"Why not?"

"I don't know!" James frowned, "what day is it?"

"Thursday."

James nodded standing from the table, Regulus had charms first thing on Thursdays. "I'll see you lot later."

"The fuck are you going?" Remus asked.

"A walk." James rubbed his eyes, "I need some fresh air before I pass out."

"Do you want me to come?" Peter offered.

"I'll be alright, thanks, Pete." James gave him a smile.

He walked directly to one of the broom closets on the top of the stairs leading to the dungeon, cracking it open slightly to watch who passed.

It wasn't long before a familiar brunet walked by, and James's hand reached out and grabbed his wrist, pulling him inside.

Regulus yelped as he was dragged into the closet, the door closing behind him.

"Potter!" He scowled.

"You stood me up." James crossed his arms.

Regulus had deep bags under his eyes and his skin looked pale and dull.

"So?" Regulus frowned, avoiding his gaze.

"Why didn't you come?" James grabbed his hand, "I was waiting for hours."

Regulus shrugged.

"Are you okay?" James asked.

"What?"

"You didn't show up."

"I know."

"Is something the matter? What can I do to help?"

Regulus's eyes widened, "why aren't you yelling?"

"Why would I be yelling?" James asked.

"Aren't you angry with me?"

James shook his head. "Angry? No. Confused? A little. Concerned? Very. Are you okay? What happened?"

Regulus looked up with a quizzical expression. "You're really not going to yell at me?"

"No!"

"Well I guess we can just get on with it then," Regulus sighed, looping his arms around James's neck.

"Get on with what?" James asked, stepping back out of his hold.

"You pulled me in here for a shag? Yeah?" Regulus frowned, "since I missed last night."

"No!" James looked appalled, "no, Regulus, that's not why at all. I just wanted to know what happened last night—to see if you were alright."

Regulus stared at him.

"You're more than just a body, Reg." James shook his head, "we don't have to have sex every time we see each other."

"I don't understand." Regulus managed, "do you not want to do this anymore?"

"I do," James said quickly, "I definitely do."

"You're upset."

James nodded.

"Why?"

"I was waiting for you," James said, "you could've told me you weren't feeling up to it, I wouldn't have minded."

"But that's our agreement." Regulus frowned, "why would you want me to come if not to shag."

"Merlin, Regulus." James shook his head, "you're still my friend."

Regulus looked surprised, "we're friends?"

"Well yeah." James laughed, "I would say we're friends."

"Oh."

"I'd never make you do anything you don't want to do." James said, "I do want to know what happened yesterday, though."

"Barty said some shite." Regulus said awkwardly, "I shouldn't have listened to him."

"What'd he say?" James asked.

"I've slept with a lot of people." Regulus said suddenly, "more than I'd like to admit. You know about Spinnet and Rosier, but I've gotten around in a matter of speaking. Barty called me out for using sex as a coping mechanism, he's right, but it's exposing being called out in that manner."

"Coping mechanism for what?"

"Feeling numb."

James was quiet for a second. "Is that how you feel?"

"Typically." Regulus nodded, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. "Nothing matters anymore. I know this war will kill me, I've accepted it, I just don't have the will to care anymore."

"Regulus—"

His steel eyes fluttered open.

"Except when I'm with you." He spoke slowly.

"That's why you sleep with people?" James asked.

"I suppose so," Regulus said, "but I'd always go back to feeling the same way after—you're different, you make me feel."

"Is that a good thing?"

"I don't know."

"Have you been sleeping with anyone else while we've been together?" James asked, scared of the answer.

"No."

It startled him, and James had to suppress a grin that would've been very inappropriate given the current situation.

"I don't reckon I want to do that anymore." Regulus said, "I like how I feel when I'm with you, it's nice."

James couldn't possibly refrain from smiling at the words, pulling Regulus into his arms.

Regulus tensed for a moment before relaxing into James's arms.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"There's nothing to be sorry about." James assured him.

"I'm all fucked up."

"You're not."

"I am."

"You're perfect."

Regulus closed his eyes and let his head rest on James's shoulder.

"We're going to be late to class." James whispered.

Regulus groaned, burying his face further into James's neck, "we can skip?"

"I've got a test, Love." James sighed, "I'll meet you for lunch?"

Regulus nodded, pulling away.

"Lunch." He agreed.

Chapter Text

"Where have you been?" Sirius demanded when James returned to their dorm, "and do you have the map? We can't find it anywhere."

"I had a meeting with McGonagall," James lied. "HeadBoy duties and all that shit. I don't know where the map is."

"Bugger," Sirius swore, "I can't find Moony or Wormtail either, you all disappeared on me today."

"Sorry, Mate," James offered a weak smile, "wanna play chess?"

"Yeah," Sirius sighed.

"What's the matter?" James raised an eyebrow as he dug through his trunk.

"Nothing, me and Moony got in a fight," Sirius shrugged, "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Ok, I'm here if you change your mind," James offered him a supportive smile, "come on, I'll kick your ass."

"Please," Sirius grinned, "I can beat you in my sleep."

"Yeah right." James snorted, "maybe in your dreams."

They set up the board and sat across from each other and James couldn't help but to draw similarities between Sirius and Regulus. Two people that he was most familiar with.

They had different lips, he decided. Sirius's were wide and thin, Regulus's were smaller but fuller. Their noses were the same, so were their eyes. Regulus's face was more squared, his features sharper, whereas Sirius's features were sharp with a softness too them that made them not so terribly intimidating. But side by side, the brothers could not be mistaken. The relation was clear, evident even in their mannerisms as was becoming more comparable to James with more time spent with the younger Black.

"James."

"What?" James startled, looking down at the board.

"Your move." Sirius said, "why were you staring at me like that?"

"Like what?" James asked, an embarrassed blush creeping down his neck as he turned his attention back to the game.

"Scrutinizingly." Sirius said.

"Wow, what a big word for you!" James joked, avoiding the question.

"Oh bugger off if." Sirius huffed, "I'm winning right now."

"Not for long." James grinned.

>•<

"Hey!" James grinned as Regulus stepped out of the portrait hole.

"Hello," Regulus breathed, "what're you doing down here?"

"Figured I'd just meet you," James shrugged with a grin, "I've already clocked us in at the office."

"Oh, cheers," Regulus said, "what floors do we have tonight?"

"Dungeons to third." James replied.

"Brilliant." Regulus groaned.

"How was your day?" James asked as they stared to walk.

"Alright," Regulus shrugged, "you?"

"Pretty great actually," James grinned, "I've been waiting all day to tell you—you know how Sally Reynolds is dating Mark Latham?"

"He's gay?"

James's smile fell, "why must you ruin my story? How'd you even know?"

Regulus laughed, "I did tell you I've slept with my fair share of people—Mark just happens to be one of them."

"Well anyways," James rolled his eyes, "apparently he called out a guys name when they were having sex and that's how Sally found out."

"No way?"

"Yes way."

"How do you even make that mistake?" Regulus grinned

"I don't know!" James said, "Merlin!Imagine."

"I'd absolutely hex you if you said the wrong name in bed." Regulus said, "that's utterly mortifying."

"Right!" James laughed, "I don't what I'd do."

Regulus shook his head with a fond laugh, looking down the hallway quickly.

Upon seeing no one, he turned and grabbed James's collar, pulling him in for a kiss.

"What was that for?" James asked as they pulled away.

"Felt like it." Regulus laughed, lacing their fingers together, "this okay?"

"Very." James kissed his cheek. "Although you don't need to risk holding my hand, what if someone sees?"

Regulus shook his head, squeezing James's hand. "I want to." He said sincerely, "besides, it's late. Nobody will be out."

James beamed and Regulus felt a warm fuzzy feeling spread through his chest.

"I want to be more than shag buddies." Regulus blurted out, his face turning red.

Silence hung in the air for a moment.

"What?"

Regulus's skin burned and he tried to pull his hand away from James's but the older boy had tightened his grip.

"I've been thinking," Regulus said awkwardly, "I'd be alright if we were friends—with some emotion and some commitment."

"Really?" James's eyes widened.

"Only if you wanted to, of course." Regulus mumbled. "I'd understand if you didn't."

"I want to!" James said eagerly, "I do, I really do."

"Really?" Regulus's eyes brightened, "you really want to?"

James nodded, "what do you mean by some commitment?"

"I won't sleep with anyone else." Regulus blushed, "I'm not forcing you of course—to be exclusive I mean."

"Reg," James laughed, cutting off his ramble, "I'm not going to sleep with anyone else."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. I don't want to shag anyone else."

"Okay." Regulus hid a smile, turning his head away as he cleared his throat, "we should probably get on with patrol then."

"Yeah," James shook his head fondly, "we probably should."

They continued down the hall, their hands clasped together, shy blushes on their faces.

"I want to take you on a date." James said, "a proper one. I feel like an arse just shagging you in broom closets."

"Why?" Regulus frowned, "you shouldn't feel like an arse."

"I know," James nodded, "but I do. Will you go out with me?"

"Yeah." Regulus breathed, blushing, "yeah, okay."

"Okay?" James asked, grinning, "you'll let me take you on a date."

"Yes," Regulus laughed, "although I don't know where you think we're going—everyone will see us at Hogsmeade."

"Leave it up to me." James grinned, "how's tomorrow night? I'll meet you at your portrait hole at eleven."

"Okay." Regulus hid his smile.

"Sleep with me tonight?" James asked.

Regulus nodded. "Okay."

James pulled out his invisibility cloak and draped it over Regulus after they clocked out, guiding him silently up to the Gryffindor dorms.

Peter's snores echoed in the room and James and Regulus climbed into their bunk, casting silencing charms and sticking charms on the curtains.

Regulus laid back, sprawled on his back while James searched through his trunk for pajamas for the both of them.

"Here," he crawled back into the curtains, tossing night clothes to Regulus.

"I should really start keeping some of my stuff in here," Regulus groaned as James's shirt hung loose on his chest.

"Don't say that." James grinned, tackling him in a hug, pinning him down to the beg, "you look so cozy in my clothes."

"Get off." Regulus tried to scowl, but a laugh came out instead. "You're so annoying."

"Don't say that!" James laughed, kissing him.

"We should go to sleep." Regulus said, pulling away after several minutes, "it's late."

"Yeah," James rolled off him, "we should."

"Do you ever think it's strange?" Regulus whispered, watching James with curious eyes.

"What?" James asked.

"Us." Regulus said.

"Strange?" James snorted, "I thought it near impossible—yet here we are."

"Here we are." Regulus agreed, "I think we work well together."

"Me too," James pulled him to his chest, "go to sleep."

"Goodnight," Regulus yawned.

"Night," James smiled, letting his eyes close.

Chapter Text

James woke up first, Regulus still fast asleep, practically on top of him.

Their legs were bent together and Regulus's arm was tossed over James's waist.

He tried not to move, scared that even shifting on his side could risk waking the other boy.

Regulus sighed, his breath warm on James's cheek.

"His curtains are spelled shut again?" James's eyes widened as he heard murmuring outside his bunk.

"Shh, what if he's awake?" Remus's voice came.

"Who are you kidding? He's not awake." Sirius's voice whispered back, "he had patrol until two—it's only six."

"Yeah," Remus hummed, "who do you think he has in there?"

"Definitely not Evans." Sirius snorted, "you reckon it's the same girl every night?"

"Dunno." Remus said, "I don't know why he hasn't told us."

"Reckon we can just blast his bed?" Sirius said, "easy way to figure out who it was."

James tensed and Regulus groaned, rolling further into him.

"Sirius. We're not doing that."

"We could though."

"What's going on?" Regulus breathed sleepily, nuzzling his nose into James's skin.

"Shh, nothing, Love." James said, running a hand through his hair, "go back to sleep."

"Why not? Moony?" Sirius whined.

"Would you want him to do that to us?" Remus scoffed.

"Well—no." Sirius huffed.

"Come on then, go back to bed." Remus said.

"Yeah, alright." Sirius sighed.

Once their voices died out, James let out a heavy sigh, rolling to wrap Regulus up in his arms.

"Who was out there?" Regulus asked, half asleep.

"Remus and Sirius," James said.

"Nosey buggers." Regulus yawned.

"Yeah." James laughed, "they are."

"'Time is it?"

"Around six I reckon," James whispered.

Regulus whined in protest, "what'd they have to go and wake us for?"

"I don't think they did it on purpose." James smiled.

"Shouldn't be so bloody loud then." Regulus sat up, rubbing his eyes. "We're sleeping in my dorm tomorrow, Potter, I can't have this interrupting my sleep schedule."

"Just come back to bed." James held out his arms, "we'll go back to sleep."

"I can't go back to sleep." Regulus pouted.

"Why not?"

"Because now I'm scared they'll actually blast your bed."

"They're not going to blast my bed."

"Want to go for a walk?" Regulus asked.

"You're serious?" James raised an eyebrow, "you want to go for a walk."

"Yeah."

"Reg, we've hardly slept." James said.

"It's Saturday," Regulus said.

"I want to be well rested for our date tonight." James protested.

"Oh, get up you big wanker." Regulus scoffed, "get me a jumper—and the cloak."

"So demanding." James flopped back on the bed. "Why do I get for it?"

"If you're good I'll give you a blowie later." Regulus shrugged.

James peered up at him and was met with a suggestive grin.

"You're a menace, Black." James groaned, rolling out of bed to his trunk.

He grabbed two jumpers, the map, and his invisibility cloak.

Remus's and Sirius's curtains were open, James didn't know why they were up so early, but he assumed they had gone down to the kitchens to pinch a snack.

He opened the map and to his surprise, it showed them in the dorm's washroom.

He frowned and refolded it, tossing the cloak and jumper to Regulus.

"Where do you want to go?" Regulus asked, invisibly pressing up against James as they walked.

"I dunno." James stammered.

Regulus's cold fingers crept under the waist band of his pants.

"I have a couple ideas of what we can do." Regulus's breath was by James's ear.

He squirmed, his face turning various shades of red, looking around in alarm. "Regulus—we're in the middle of the corridor."

"Nobody's around." Regulus whispered, kissing his shoulder, "fancy bending me over a desk?"

James coughed in shock, grabbing Regulus's wrist, pulling him into the nearest classroom.

Regulus pulled off the cloak and casted charms on the door, before shooting James a smirk.

"Menace." James repeated.

Regulus laughed, shaking his head.

He grabbed the back of James's neck and pulled his face down to meet him.

"Get used to it," he whispered against his lips.

>•<

"You were up early." Remus said, his voice nervous as James's walked into their dorm.

"Yep." James gave him a tight smile. "So were you."

"You heard us then?" Sirius frowned.

"I don't know what you're talking about." James said plainly, grabbing his bag, "I'm going to the library to finish the paper for McGonagall."

"Oh! I'll come too!" Peter scrambled up from his bed, "I've only got four more inches left."

James nodded, waiting for Peter to gather his books.

"Want to come as well? Pads? Moony?" Peter offered.

Remus opened his mouth but James cut him off.

"I think they're too tired to study right now." James smiled, "isn't that right? Boys?"

Sirius and Remus avoided his gaze, and Peter and James left a moment later.

"What was that all about?" Peter asked.

"Don't worry about it, Mate." James clapped him on the back.

"Where were you this morning?"

"I went for a walk." James said, "did I miss anything?"

"No." Peter shook his head, "we were just all wondering where you were off too."

"Couldn't sleep." James offered as an explanation, "do you have any other work besides Transfiguration?"

"I've got that Charms assignment too, but that's all." Peter sighed, "I can't wait for school to be over."

"Don't say that, Pete!" James said, "we've got to enjoy our golden years while we still can."

"Not much of a golden year." Peter grumbled. "Remus and Sirius are always being secretive, they never include me in anything. Then you're off doing Merlin knows what—we hardly even see you anymore—and we haven't pulled a single prank in a month!"

"I'm sorry Peter," James sighed, "I've had a lot on my plate...I'll make it up to you, I swear."

"Yeah?" Peter asked hopefully.

"Yeah." James nodded, "give me a time and place and I'll be there."

"Tonight?" Peter asked, "we can plan a prank—all four of us, I'll get snacks from the kitchen, and I think Pads still has a couple bottles of Firewhiskey from the party last week."

"Oh—" James cringed, "I actually can't do tonight, Wormy, but any other day I promise!"

Peter's face fell, "forget about it, James, I'm just gonna go."

"Wait!" James called after him, ignoring the death stare Madam Pince was giving him, "Peter!"

"Mr. Potter!" She scowled, "this is a library!"

James rolled his eyes, throwing his stuff down at one of the tables.

"What was that all about?" Lily came over with her hands full of books, dropping them on the table, "do you mind?"

"Go ahead." James sighed, seeing as she was already hanging her bag on the chair.

"Thanks," Lily sat down, "what happened with Peter?"

"I don't think I even know." James frowned, "I suppose I've been a shite friend lately."

"Want to talk about it?" Lily asked.

Her voice sounded strange—raspy, and James looked up, meeting her eyes. Her face was red and splotchy, her eyes puffy, and her hair was piled on top of her head in a bun that had probably not been taken out in days.

"You've been crying." James said.

Lily's eyes widened and her lip started to quiver. She looked up and started to blink rapidly.

James's stomach churned, he never knew what to do in these situations.

"Lily? What's happened?"

"Tony dumped me." She sniffed, wiping her eyes, "I'm sorry—I haven't been able to stop crying."

"He broke up with you!" James gasped, "why? What happened?"

"You heard about Sally and Mark?" Lily choked out, "how he's been...sleeping around with other guys while they've been dating?"

"Yeah, I heard," James nodded.

"Well, Sally decided to get revenge and sleep with another guy," Lily started, "quite dumb if you ask me, I don't think Mark cared all that much—but Sally and Tony are partners in potions and they—they—"

She burst out into tears, hiding her face in her hands.

"Oh, Lily." James frowned, "I'm so sorry."

"And then the git broke up with me!" She sobbed, "he cheated on me! I should've been the one to break up with him!"

James rushed to the other side of the table and hugged her, "want me to hex his bollocks off?"

"No," she laughed through her tears, falling into his embrace. "The worst part is that he was supposed to be my date to my sister's wedding over hols. My whole family already thinks I'm odd—I've told them all I'm going with a date and now I've got to show up alone and deal with them asking me about him all day. Merlin, they're going to think I made him up!"

"They're not going to think you made him up." James soothed. "I'm sure you'll find someone you fancy before then, it's still a bit away."

"I can't just ask a guy I've been seeing for a month to be my date to a wedding," Lily sniffed.

"Sure you can!"

"James, that would be so awkward."

"I'll tell you what," James pulled away, "if you can't find a date by then, I'll take you."

Lily's eyes widened and her lip started to tremble again, "really?" She gasped, "you'd do that for me?"

"'Course," James said, "you're my friend, Evans."

She burst out into tears again.

"Have I said something wrong?" James panicked, "I'm so sorry."

"No, no," Lily cried, "that's just so nice!"

"Oh." James relaxed, "don't worry about it, I'd be happy to go to your sister's wedding."

"She's a dreadful person," Lily laughed. "Very muggle, doesn't care too much for magic, and her fiancé is even worse."

"Oh I'm sure they'll love me." James snorted.

Chapter Text

James avoided his dorm for the rest of the day.

He didn't know what to say to Remus and Sirius—he was annoyed, sure, but couldn't be overly angry with them. After all, if it were either of them he'd be curious too, and they didn't actually blast his bed or invade his privacy.

And then there was Peter.

James had no idea how to make things right with Peter, the boy's emotions were so sporadic, it was always difficult to gauge his reactions.

He slipped into the dorm only once a couple hours after dinner to change and grab his cloak and the map.

He was at the Slytherin portrait hole at eleven o'clock sharp, and Regulus came outside in a button down and trousers.

James reached out underneath the cloak and grabbed Regulus's wrist, dragging him under.

"I hate when you do that!" Regulus scowled, "scares the shite out of me."

James ignored him, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Hi."

"Hi." Regulus smiled, "where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise." James replied, lacing their hands together, "come on."

He pulled him along, stopping infront of the one-eyed witch statute.

"Dissendium."

He tapped his wand onto the stone and a slit opened in her hump.

"James, what the fuck?" Regulus stared.

"Come on!" James urged with a laugh, tugging on his arm, "it'll be fun, I promise."

"This isn't some secret ploy to murder me is it?" Regulus looked into the dark passageway.

"Just go." James rolled his eyes pushing him forward.

"Fine." Regulus stepped through the stone, "but so help me, James, if you murder me I will haunt you."

"Yeah, yeah," James laughed.

"Where does this let out?" Regulus asked, lighting his wand.

"Can't you just let it be a surprise?" James pouted.

"I didn't even know this existed." Regulus said, "how many are there in the castle."

"So far, we've found seven." James replied.

"They all lead to the same place?"

"No, different places." James said.

The tunnel eventually came to an end with a ladder and a trapdoor.

"I'll go first," James whispered, climbing up and pushing through.

He then signaled for Regulus to follow before throwing the invisibility cloak over the both of them.

"Is this the cellar of Honeydukes?" Regulus whispered.

"Yeah," James grinned, "come on."

They went up the staircase and out the back door into the night air.

"There's a passage in Hogwarts that leads to Honeydukes!" Regulus said in shock as they stood in-front of the store, "since when?"

"Since always I suppose." James said, "come on, it's just up that hill."

"The shrieking shack is up that hill."

"Yeah, come on!" James laughed.

"Are you mad?" Regulus scoffed, "it's haunted!"

"You really believe that?" James rolled his eyes, "it's not haunted. Besides, it's not like we're going inside."

"If an evil ghost attacks us, I'm sacrificing you."

"How sweet." James drawled, "just walk."

Regulus trekked up the hill, James pressing a hand to the small of his back to guide him.

It made his stomach feel all funny and he couldn't help but press back into the touch.

"It's around that corner there," James whispered, grabbing his hip with his other hand to turn him.

Regulus nodded, letting him steer him to the side of the shack.

There was a blanket laid out on the grass, with a basket of Honeydukes candy in the center.

"Picnic?" Regulus grinned dumbly, "a little cliche."

"Picnic and stargazing." James grinned, wrapping his arms around Regulus's waist, "do you like it."

"I suppose." Regulus smiled. "Lay with me? That's what you're supposed to do on dates like these? Isn't it?"

"I dunno." James grinned, "I've never been on a proper date before."

"Me either." Regulus laid down on the blankets, shifting so there was room for James. "Did you steal all this candy?"

"No!" James gasped, "I left money for everything!"

"Okay!" Regulus snorted, "I was just curious!"

"Wanker." James groaned, burying his face in Regulus's stomach.

"Oi!" Regulus tried to push his head away, "that's not very romantic of you."

"Oh? I'm supposed to be romantic now?" James teased.

"This is a date." Regulus said, "one, may I remind you, that you've requested."

"I did." James mused, "do you not want to be dating me? Regulus Black?"

"Is that what we're doing?" Regulus's eyes widened, "we're dating?"

"Well yeah." James laughed, "I assumed that had been established when we agreed to be exclusive shag buddies with feelings. Is that alright?”

“Well—yeah.” Regulus breathed, “yeah, that’s alright.”

“We’ll come on then,” James rolled his eyes, “give me a proper cuddle, not whatever this shite is. I’m cold.”

Regulus readjusted their position, curling around James, pressing their foreheads together.

“Better?”

“Much.” James hummed, “how was your day?”

“Fine.” Regulus said, “how was yours.”

“Pretty shite actually,” James said, “but it’s better now I’m with you.”

“Cheesy.” Regulus squeezed his cheeks, “what happened?”

“I’m still annoyed at Sirius…and Remus I suppose…and Peter’s pissed at all of us.”

“We’ll have to start spending nights in my dorm,” Regulus frowned, “they can’t find out about this, James.”

“I know, I know.” James sighed.

“What happened with Peter?”

“I’ve been a shite friend,” James admitted, “I think he’s been feeling abandoned.”

“What do you mean?”

“Between my HeadBoy duties, hall patrol, school, and us, I hardly have any free time,” James said, “not that I’m complaining, of course, I think Pete’s just had a harder time accepting it.”

Regulus nodded, listening to James’s rant.

“I thought it’d be fine since he had Remus and Sirius,” James frowned, “but the two of them have been so secretive lately—they’re rarely ever apart, and they haven’t been the best at including Peter, or even myself. It doesn’t bother me because I have you, but Pete’s got nobody, just us.”

“Well I’m a selfish arse, so don’t count on me giving up my time with you.” Regulus warned.

“No, that’s definitely not what I was getting at.” James chuckled, “it’s good to know where you’re at, though.”

“Mhm.” Regulus hummed, kissing him, “I don’t share.”

“What if you faked your death?” James said suddenly.

Regulus pulled back quickly.

“Pardon?”

“I haven’t forgotten my promise.” James said, “I’ve been thinking about how to get you out of Grimmuald—what if you were dead?”

“Are you thick? I cannot fake my death.”

“Think about it!” James protested. “You’ll go missing—everyone will speculate about your death, drowned in the lake possibly, that seems like a dramatic enough way to go for you. Your family will have to believe it.”

“As tempting as that sounds, it’d never work.” Regulus said, “we’ve got a tapestry at Grimmuald…”

“Oh.” James’s face fell, “right, Sirius told me about that, I forgot. That’ll show you’re alive, wouldn’t it?”

Regulus nodded.

“Balls.” James scowled. “I’ll come up with something else then.”

“Don’t bother.” Regulus shook his head, “it’ll just be a waste of your time.”

“I’ll think of something.” James promised.

Chapter Text

Having James Potter wake up in his bed most definitely had an effect on Regulus that it shouldn't have.

He didn't understand it, but seeing the Gryffindor golden boy so at ease, fast asleep on his green sheets in his Slytherin dorm room was more than satisfying.

It killed him watching him leave, sneak out just before breakfast, hidden under his invisibility cloak.

Regulus had to restrain from calling out his name to have him back in his arms.

He had to remind himself that James Potter was a secret.

For some reason, that thought hurt more than it ever had before.

"Can I copy your Potion paper?" Pandora asked, spreading butter on her muffin, "I totally forgot it was due tomorrow."

"Sure." Regulus dug through his bag, pulling out a scroll to pass to her.

"Cheers." She kissed his cheek.

An owl swooped down and dropped a note on his plate.

"What is it?" Pandora asked.

"Nothing I'm sure." Regulus said, unfolding the parchment.

There was a singular word scrawled in a messy script.

Murder?

Regulus snorted, looking up briefly to catch James's hidden smile from across the hall.

He shook his head and got out a quill, flipping the paper over.

Arson?

He gave it back to the bird and turned back to Pandora, who was engaging Barty in an argument on what juice was best.

"Pumpkin juice." Pandora argued.

"Not with breakfast!" Barty scowled, "orange juice."

Regulus rolled his eyes, taking a final bite of his toast before brushing the crumbs off his hands and standing.

"You got practice?" Barty asked.

Regulus nodded.

"Come find us after?" Pandora asked.

"Maybe," Regulus grumbled, "see you."

"Oh! Wait!" Pandora yelled after him, "this came for you."

She handed him a letter.

Regulus swore under his breath as he turned it over, seeing the Black crest on the wax seal.

"Thanks, Lestrange."

Instead of the field, Regulus went straight back to his dorm.

Your attendance has been requested by 12 o'clock this afternoon.
-Lord Orion A. Black

"Fuck." Regulus checked his watch.

11:46

"Fuck!"

He stripped off his practice gear, and threw open his wardrobe, grabbing his dress robes.

He buttoned his vest and pulled on his cloak, combed back his hair and tucked his wand into its holder.

"Mr. Black!" Slughorn looked up from his desk, "what can I help you with?"

Regulus pressed the letter into his hands, "I need to use your Floo."

"You know we're not supposed to permit that, Mr. Black." Slughorn shook his head.

"Professor—" Regulus started.

"It's the rules, Mr. Black, I'm sorry."

"I'll get you a ticket to the Christmas Gala." Regulus said quickly.

Slughorn paused. "Well alright, I suppose I can bend the rules just this once."

"Thank you, Professor." Regulus breathed in relief.

He fell out of the fireplace, brushing the soot off his robes.

"You're late." His mother frowned, standing infront of him with her arms crossed.

Regulus checked his watch, 12:02.

"Professor Slughorn was hesitant about giving me to his Floo." Regulus said.

Walburga scoffed.

"You're the heir Black. You do not ask. You take."

Regulus stayed silent.

"Come. Your father is waiting." She turned and walked down the hall.

Regulus followed her, dread settling in his stomach.

"Why have I been summoned? Mother?" Regulus asked.

"We will discuss it with your father."

That couldn't be good.

She opened the door to Orion's office. He was sitting at his desk, waiting.

"I'd like a second alone with my son." He said, his eyes falling on Regulus.

"I will do no such thing." Walburga scoffed.

"I was not asking." Orion said. "Leave us. We will summon you when you are needed."

She stomped her foot and stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind her.

"Regulus. Have a seat." Orion gestured.

Regulus sat down across from him.

"This is not a pleasurable summon, I regret to admit." Orion said seriously. "Your mother has heard word of your position on the quidditch team."

Regulus's blood went cold.

"I—" he stammered.

Orion held up his hand.

"I am not upset with you, Regulus." He said. "However, your mother will not be convinced. You are a good son. But she's convinced this act of....rebellion, has started you on a path like Sirius."

"What do you mean?" Regulus shoved his shaking hands into his cloak.

"She has summoned you home to put you under an imperio." Orion said simply.

"No!" Regulus's mouth clamped shut. "I'm sorry."

"I have come to a compromise with her." Orion ignored his outburst. "It is not ideal, but it is your only choice."

Regulus looked up, trying to fight away the tears that had begun to pool in his eyes.

"You will be taking an unbreakable vow." Orion said, "you will be taking it with me, not your mother. It will assure that you, my dear son, will not end up a disgrace."

"I do not need a vow, Father." Regulus said desperately. "This is my family, I know my place."

"Then this will not affect you." Orion said, "it is simply an assurance...to ease your mother's mind, if you will."

"And if I refuse?"

Orion's lips twitched down into a frown.

"Let me make myself clear." He said. "You do not have a choice. It is either you take this vow and return to school, or you finish your education here, under your mother's control."

Regulus muffled a sob.

"It is nothing to cry about." Orion sneered, "I will give you five minutes. You will compose yourself and find the will to come to your senses. Then I will call for your mother. Understand?"

"Yes sir." Regulus bit out.

Orion nodded, and left without another word.

As soon as the door was closed, Regulus began to panic.

He rushed over to the fireplace, searching for Floo powder, but it wasn't there.

Orion must've removed it before he arrived, he tried the doors but they were warded shut.

He was trapped.

Five minutes passed and Orion entered the office again.

Regulus was sitting back in the chair, stony faced and defeated.

"Have you come to your senses?"

"Yes, Father."

"Good."

Walburga walked in a moment later.

Orion held out his hand, and Regulus took it, his wand fit snugly between them.

Walburga touched her wand to their clamped hands and Orion looked Regulus in the eye.

"Do you, Regulus Arcturus Black, swear to obey and abide by any order given by the Lord Black, performing to the standards set forth by the ancient and noble house of Black?” Orion asked.

“I swear.” Regulus choked out.

A thin stream of fire emitted from Walburga’s wand and wrapped itself around their hands.

“It is done.” Orion said, letting his hand drop from Regulus’s. “You will return to Hogwarts. I will be in contact.”

“Yes, Father.” Regulus nodded, feeling sick to his stomach.

He left the office without a second glance at his parents and returned back to the sitting room, Flooing back to Slughorn’s office.

What had he done?

Chapter Text

James arrived at the Kitchens a little after six o'clock, prepared to get chewed out by Regulus for being late.

Regulus wasn't there, however.

With a frown, James settled down in one of the chairs to wait.

At 6:30 James called it quits and started towards the Slytherin common room.

He pulled on his cloak and whispered the password.

The portrait hole swung open and James crept into the common room and up the stairs to Regulus's dorm.

Barty's bed was empty, but the curtains were drawn around Regulus's bed.

"Reg." James whispered, pulling the curtains back, he lowered his cloak and stuck his head through. "Reg?"

Regulus was laying on top of his neatly made bed, trembling as he laid curled in a ball on his side.

"Regulus?" James climbed inside, the curtains closed around them, sending them into darkness.

"Go away James." Regulus sniffed.

"What's wrong?" James asked, snaking his arms around Regulus's waist, pulling him into his chest.

"Go away." Regulus tried to pull away, but James held him tighter.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"I thought you didn't lie?"

"It's not a lie." Regulus grunted. "Nothing is wrong."

"We had plans tonight."

"I forgot."

"You never forget." James pressed, "what's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

James rested his chin on top of Regulus's head. "Do you want me to go?"

"Yes." Regulus sniffed.

"Okay." James kissed the top of his head. "Come find me if you need me."

He released Regulus from his hold and sat up.

"Wait." Regulus said in a panic. "Don't leave."

"Regulus." James sighed, running a hand through his hair, "what happened?"

"I went home." Regulus said.

"What?"

"My father summoned me." Regulus said, "I went home today."

"Okay." James breathed, sitting back against the headboard.

"I don't want to talk about it." Regulus repeated, "can—can you just stay with me?"

"Yeah." James sighed.

"Thank you," Regulus said, snuggling into James's side. "Tell me about your day?"

"My day?" James asked.

"Mhm." Regulus hummed, "I want to hear about it."

"Okay," James said, tracing circles into Regulus's shoulder, "it wasn't too exciting."

"That's okay, I want to hear."

"Well, I haven't quite made up with the boys yet," James said, "so I spent the day with Lily, she's been upset since Tony ended things."

"Tony Rodriguez? They were going out?" Regulus asked.

"Yeah, for awhile," James nodded, "he slept with Sally Reynolds and then broke up with her."

"No way! She's way out of his league anyways!"

"That's what I keep telling her," Hanes said, "but she's still hung up about it. But anyways, we finished our transfiguration paper and then did the schedule for the next couple weeks. I've got us scheduled for Wednesday and Sunday like usual."

"You're right, your day was boring." Regulus sighed contently, tangling their legs together.

"Told you." James smiled. "You know, I've never had this before."

"Had what?" Regulus asked.

"Someone to tell anything to." James said, "it's nice."

"What about Sirius? Remus?"

"Yeah, I tell them tons, but some things I just can't, you know?"

"Oh...like how you like to suck—"

"Bugger off!" James laughed, covering Regulus's mouth with his hand.

Regulus shook with silent laughs as he pried James's hand off his lips.

"But honestly," James said, "I reckon you know more about me than anyone really."

"I've only had this once before," Regulus admitted, "with Trevor."

James made a face.

"Don't do that." Regulus scowled, "he really wasn't that bad."

"He hit you in the head with a bludger."

"Yeah, okay, that was bad," Regulus said, "but he's alright."

"Sure." James was unconvinced.

Regulus rolled his eyes, pressing a kiss to James's lips, "so stubborn, you Gryffindors."

James grinned against his lips, rolling them so Regulus was pinned between him and the mattress.

"James!" Regulus laughed as the other boy began leaving wet kisses all over his skin.

James didn't respond, squeezing Regulus's hips teasingly as he sucked on a spot between his neck and shoulder.

At two o'clock, James slipped out of Regulus's bed quietly, tossing his cloak over his head.

"Where are you going?" Regulus mumbled, reaching blindly for him.

"I have to go to the loo," James whispered, "I'll come back."

"Oh," Regulus yawned, rolling over, "be fast."

"I will," James promised.

True to his word, James rushed quickly to the bathroom and hurried back to Regulus's bed.

He was still fast asleep, his breaths coming out in small puffs of air.

James eased himself down onto the mattress.

"That wasn't fast." Regulus mumbled.

"Wasn't fast!" James laughed, "Love, I was only gone for a minute."

"Too long," Regulus said, wrapping his arms around James's waist, "if you sneak off before I wake up I won't sleep with you for a month."

"A month?" James laughed, "that seems like a drastic punishment."

"It seems fair to me," Regulus smirked.

"Go to sleep," James rolled his eyes, cuddling into the Slytherin, "I promise I'll be here when you wake up."

"You better, Potter." Regulus said sleepily, resting his head on James's chest.

True to his promise, James was there when Regulus woke the next morning.

"Feeling better?" James smiled.

"Mhm," Regulus yawned, stretching.

"You're like a cat," James grinned, pinching at Regulus's sides.

"Stop it!" Regulus squirmed, trying to roll away.

He grabbed James's wrists and rolled over on top of him, pinning him down to the mattress.

"That's not fair!" James laughed as Regulus began to kiss his face. "You can't threaten me with kisses!"

"Can too," Regulus countered, kissing him on the lips. "What time is it?"

"Nearly noon," James said, staring up into his eyes, "I don't think I'll ever get enough of your face."

Regulus blushed and rolled off of him, hiding his face.

"Don't hide!" James tried to pull him back, "you're so cute when you're blushing."

"I hate you James Potter."

An hour later, a very happy James was making his way back up to the Gryffindor dorms.

As soon as he opened the door, his mood was immediately diminished.

Sirius was sitting on his bunk, staring at the wall.

"Where's Remus and Pete?" James asked hesitantly.

"Hospital Wing." Sirius said, taking a drag of his cigarette.

His voice was flat and void of any emotion.

"What?" James's blood went cold as he desperately searched to room for any indication something went wrong.

"The full moon was last night." Sirius met his eyes, his lip twitching down into a frown, "did you forget?"

Realization dawned on James and a sinking feeling took over.

"I had patrol," he stammered, "it slipped my mind."

"Slipped your mind?" Sirius sneered. "I looked everywhere for you, James."

"I was in the kitchens."

It was half a truth, he had been in the kitchens, however brief it was.

"Oh really?" Sirius said, "I sure didn't see you. You were there the entire night?"

James didn't answer.

"Where's the map?"

"I don't have it," James lied.

Sirius's frown deepened.

"You can either tell me where the fuck you sneak off too or give me the map." Sirius said.

"I don't have it." James repeated.

"Fuck you." Sirius yelled, "really, fuck you!"

"Sirius—"

"No." Sirius cut him off, "Moony knew something was wrong last night. He was looking for you. Me and Pete couldn't keep him under control without you."

"I'm sorry," James said.

"It's not me you should apologize to," Sirius bit, "I'm not the one in the hospital wing."

"What happened?" James asked.

"Moony had a bad night," Sirius said, "he was using Wormtail as a chew toy, broke his back."

"Shit." James went pale. "Is he okay?"

"Why with you tell us who you're shagging?" Sirius accused.

"I'm not shagging anyone." James defended.

"You're fucking lying and everyone knows it," Sirius said.

"I'm not lying."

"You really want me to believe that you spent the entire fucking night in the kitchen and not a random girl's fucking bed? Bullshite."

"It's none of your business."

"Our friends are in the hospital because of you."

James stared. "That's not fair."

"You want to talk about fair?" Sirius argued, "how about you hogging the map that belongs to the four of us? How is that fair? Huh, James?"

"You're speaking to me like your this perfect, high and mighty friend," James crossed his eyes, "are you forgetting what you did in fifth year? Or are we just pretending it didn't happen."

"Fuck you."

"No. Fuck you, Sirius. My life for the last seven fucking years has revolved around you three. I was there through everything. Everything. I have looked after all of you, been there for you, and not once has anyone done that for me! I will not apologize for having my own life, and I certainly will not feel guilty about not fucking sharing it like I do with every other bloody thing." James turned around and left, slamming the door behind him.

He went straight down to the Hospital Wing.

"Remus? Peter?" He called.

"Over here," a weak voice came from behind one of the curtains.

"Hey, Mate," James sat next to Remus on the bed, "listen, I'm sorry."

Remus shook his head, smiling weakly, "it's okay, Prongs, I know we overstepped the other night. I don’t blame you for being upset.”

“I am upset,” James said, “but that’s not why I didn’t show up, Remus. Your my best mate, I’d be there for you even if you murdered my cat.”

Remus let out a small laugh.

“Someone I really care about needed me,” James admitted, “it was the only thing on my mind, I forgot what day it was.”

Remus’s face softened.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me—”

“James.” Remus grinned, nudging him with his knee, “I forgive you. I never blamed you to begin with, I understand. Sirius—well, you know he can be extreme, I just think it frightened him, especially with Peter…"

“How is he?” James asked.

“He’s going to be alright,” Remus nodded, “Poppy’s fixed his back and now he’s just resting. I’m trying so hard not to blame myself, but… you know.”

“You shouldn’t blame yourself.” James shook his head, “we all know the risks, Moony, but we do it because we love you. It’s our choice, you have nothing to feel responsible about.”

“Thanks, Mate,” Remus nodded.

“Anytime.”

Chapter Text

"This is an issue." James frowned.

"I agree." Regulus nodded, although James's lips were oh so distracting.

"We should probably stop."

"We probably should." Regulus agreed, "you'll have to get off my lap."

James whined, "how'd we get here?"

"This was all you, you stupid Gryffindor," Regulus shook his head, leaning their foreheads together, "now you've got me all turned around thinking my life actually has a meaning."

"Because it does." James said firmly. "You were right. We're not good for each other."

"I usually am." Regulus mused, "we're ending this then?"

"Definitely." James nodded, "we're over."

"You have to get up then." Regulus laughed.

"Never." James grinned, capturing his lips.

"You're the one who says this is an issue!" Regulus pulled away with a matching grin.

"Because it is." James said, "we're a disaster together."

"We are pretty appalling." Regulus nodded, "not to mention—" he checked his watch, "—late."

On cue, the bell rang and James groaned.

Regulus laughed, reaching out to pluck James's glasses off his face.

"Oi!" James blinked, "what'd you do that for?"

"They're filthy." Regulus said, cleaning the lenses on his robes, "how do you even see?"

"Oh—er—I dunno." James stammered, his cheeks turning pink.

"What's the face for?" Regulus asked.

"You're so cute." James fonded.

"Stop that!" Regulus blushed, covering James's eyes with his hands.

"Regulus!" James laughed, grabbing his wrists, pulling them away from his face. "Can I have my glasses back?"

Regulus set them back on his nose.

"So pretty."

"You're so odd." Regulus raised his brow, a smirk playing on his lips. "We should probably go to class."

"Or we can stay in here and skip." James said.

"Tempting," Regulus hummed, wrapping his arms around James's hips, "but you've got your N.E.W.T's this year."

"Ah, foiled me again," James said, leaning in to capture his lips one last time, "have a good day, okay?"

"Mhm," Regulus hummed against his lips, "I'll see you."

"See you," James rolled off of Regulus's lap and cracked the cupboard door open.

"Mr. Potter, how kind of you to join us," Slughorn raised his eyebrow as James took his seat.

"Sorry." James gave him a sheepish smile as he fixed his collar.

Remus gave him a knowing look, Sirius was sulking, refusing to even glance in James's direction.

It was like that for the entire day.

Remus and James would have brief conversation, Peter putting in a word every once in a while, but Sirius was silent.

"Alright. Enough of this." Remus huffed, slamming his book closed.

The four of them were all in the dorm, Remus was reading, James was polishing his broom, and Peter and Sirius were doing homework.

"What?" Peter looked up from his essay.

"Look at us!" Remus gestured, "this is our last year together and we're all mucking it up."

Sirius scoffed.

"What? Have something to say?" Remus rolled his eyes at him.

"I just don't think it's fair to say that it's all of our faults," Sirius shrugged, faking nonchalance.

"Sirius." Remus said in a harsh warning.

"No. No. Remus," Sirius shook his head, "you said enough of this. So enough, put the blame where it's deserved."

"Sirius. Don't." Remus said one last time. "We're not going there."

"Ohhhh—" Sirius laughed manically, "oh, I am so going there....James! Shall we start with you?"

"What the fuck is your problem, Mate?" James's expression turned bitter.

"You're my fucking problem, Mate."

"I'm not getting into this again, Sirius," James said, "what I do is none of your business."

Sirius stood up and crossed the dorm, shoving James roughly, "you are a proper arse, James Potter."

"I'm an arse?" James recoiled, "you're the bloody arse."

He shoved him back and Sirius scowled.

"Oi!" Remus got in the middle, "knock it off."

Sirius practically tanked through Remus, tackling James and sending all three of them to the ground.

Peter scrambled into the tangle of limbs and soon enough, the four of them were all wrestling on the ground, throwing punches and kicking frantically at each other.

The door slammed open and McGonagall was standing in the doorway, her arms crossed.

The four of them scrambled to their feet, hanging their heads as she glared at them with disdain.

"Detention. This Saturday." She said with a huff, slamming the door behind her.

James was the first one to break the silence, a snort escaping his lips.

In no time at all, the four Marauders were rolling on the ground once again, expect this time, they were laughing until their chests burned and they could no long breathe.

"I'm sorry mate," James held his hand out to Sirius as a peace offering.

Sirius looked reluctant, but gave in, pulling James into a hug, "me too."

"Thank Merlin," Remus sighed, "I don't know how much more I could've put up with, the both of you acting like bloody twelve year old girls."

"Moonyyy," Sirius groaned, covering his face with his hands.

Remus rolled his eyes, the hint of a smirk on his lips.

"I think this calls for a prank!" Peter declared.

They cheered in agreement and the following hours was used planning a very meticulous, unforgettable prank.

That night James's curtains were pulled open at an extremely late hour and Regulus crawled into his bunk, shaking the Gryffindor awake.

"Huh?" James yawned, opening his eyes slightly, "oh, hello, Love."

"Don't 'hello, Love' me!" Regulus scowled, ignoring the warm sensation it sent down his spine, "you've been hiding all day long."

"Mhm," James's eyes fluttered closed as he mindlessly grabbed at Regulus's body, "lay with me."

Regulus crossed his arms, leaning away from James's hands.

"Reggie," James whined with a pout.

Regulus's façade crumbled and he gave in, letting James pull him to his chest.

"Missed you." James mumbled, burying his nose in the back of Regulus's neck.

"You saw me this morning," Regulus said. "You couldn't have possibly missed me."

"I always miss you," James said. "I hate sleeping without you."

"We have to be careful," Regulus mused, "or we'll have dependency problems."

"Separation anxiety," James chuckled sleepily, "I reckon it's too late for that."

Regulus huffed a breath of indignation, lacing his fingers with James's and bringing them to his chest.

"Go to sleep." He said, leaning back into his strong chest.

James didn't respond, his breaths already evening out as he drifted back into a deep slumber.

I love him Regulus thought as he laid there, feeling the warmness of James's breath against the skin of his neck.

He loved him, and this was so much more than shag buddies.

This was something else. Something new, and Regulus couldn't bring himself to mind all too much because he loved James Potter and that was a good thing.

Chapter Text

"Goodmorning," James smiled, kissing the nape of Regulus's neck.

Regulus turned in his arms, facing him with wide eyes.

It was obvious he had been awake for much longer than James had, thoughts clearing spinning in his head.

James frowned slightly, bringing his thumb up to brush against Regulus's lips.

"Are we boyfriends?" Regulus asked suddenly.

"What?"

"It feels like we're boyfriends? Are we?"

"Err—I dunno." James stammered, his mind still hazy with sleep, "we haven't established anything—do you want us to be boyfriends?"

"I love you." Regulus blurted. "—I don't know what love is. But I think it's what I feel whenever I'm with you."

James froze. His mouth hanging open in shock.

"I think it would be okay if we were boyfriends." Regulus continued, "I know I told you I didn't want a relationship, but I've changed my mind I reckon."

Tears pricked in James's eyes and he laughed nervously.

"Well?" Regulus shifted uncomfortably in James's arms, "are you going to say something?"

James shook his head and grabbed Regulus's face with his hands.

He crashed theirs lips together and Regulus responded immediately, tipping his head back to allow James to take more control.

They had kissed enough times to lose track but this was different. This felt like kissing James for the first time again.

Regulus's chest burned with a passion—desire, but also with the same uncertainty that had been a constant since the first time he had touched James Potter's lips.

James was addictive.

His voice. His body. His taste. His love.

James Potter was addictive and Regulus Black was selfish, taking everything the boy would offer.

"I love you." James smiled against his lips, "shit, Reg, I love you so fucking much."

"Yeah?" Regulus smiled back.

"Yeah." James kissed him again. "Merlin, Sirius is going to kill us."

Regulus pulled back with a groan, banging his head on James's chest. "He's your best mate, you deal with him."

"Oi!" Janes laughed, "he's your brother."

"So we're going to give this a go then?" Regulus asked, "a genuine try?"

James grinned, "are you asking to be my boyfriend, Regulus Black?"

Regulus turned scarlet and he tried to cover his face with his hands but James caught his wrists.

"Let's try." James said, kissing him chastely, "look at that, I have a boyfriend."

"Please don't say it like that," Regulus cringed, "it sounds so immature."

"Ok, Boyfriend," James kissed his nose.

"James!" Regulus complained.

"Lover," James kissed his cheek.

Regulus's flush spread deeper and his mouth parted slightly.

"You like that one?" James laughed.

Regulus frowned, "say it again."

"Lover," James smirked.

Regulus was now fidgeting restlessly, watching James with lustful eyes.

"Yes, that one," he declared, licking his lips, "use that one."

James opened his mouth to speak but Regulus pushed him onto his back on the scarlet comforter, straddling his hips.

"What're you doing?" James moaned as Regulus's cold fingers found their way under his waistline.

"Can I suck you off?" Regulus grinned, running his finger up James's inner thigh, pressing down with his other hand, just to the side of James's groin.

"Shit." James gasped.

"I'll take that as a yes," Regulus laughed, leaning down to kiss him.

James shimmied out of his trousers and briefs and Regulus's slowly made his way down James's chest, undoing a single button at a time, leaving a trail of love bites as he went.

"You're killing me," James squirmed, "and I'll have to heal those, I've got quidditch tonight."

Regulus pulled back with an offended gasp, "you will do no such thing! I worked hard on these."

"Everyone will see them."

"Good." Regulus pouted, "then they'll know you're off limits."

"Of course," James smiled, "I'm all yours, Love."

James couldn't keep the smile off his face for the entirety of the day.

He was teased relentlessly for the lack of his attention and the obviousness that his mind was straying somewhere else entirely.

Marlene even made the executive decision to call practice early, on behalf of their 'mind-fucked' captain.

James didn't mind, however, he was too happy to take any of the insults to heart. He was a boyfriend. Regulus's Black's boyfriend, and that's all he needed.

"Hogsmeade tomorrow," Lily said as they patrolled the corridor, "you going?"

"Not this time," James said, "I've got detention at ten."

"Surely you can go after?" Lily asked.

"No point," James shrugged, "Remus and Sirius have detention after and Peter's got tutoring."

"Remus and Sirius have two detentions?" Lily raised an eyebrow, "for what?"

"I don't know how they got another one," James said, "it's with Flitwick, they're refusing to say."

"Strange," she hummed. 

"Yeah, they've been a lot closer recently," James shrugged.

"Remus told me you've been distant," Lily said, "is anything going on? James?"

"Remus said that?" James's eyes widened, "really?"

She nodded.

"That's one way to word it," he ran a hand through his head, "I've just had a lot on my mind, I suppose, but I think we came to an agreement last night."

"I think you should go to Hogsmeade," Liky declared, "it'll do you good to get away from school for a couple hours."

"Thanks, Evans," James smiled politely, "but I hardly think it'll be fun to go by myself."

"Come with me then." She said, her voice just slightly higher than before.

"To Hogsmeade?" James asked, "are you and the girls planning something?"

"No, they've all got dates," Lily blushed, "it would just be the two of us."

"Oh." His eyes widened, "like a date?"

"Yeah," she frowned at his reaction, "why? Is that a problem?"

"Lily I think you're great," James scratched the back of his neck, "and obviously I've had feelings for you—"

"Oh," Lily looked away quickly. "Had."

"It's just—"

"No," she looked back up at him with a sad smile. "No, it's alright, James, I've rejected you plenty times before, karma I suppose."

"I'm—"

"Really, it's okay," Lily said, "you don't have to explain yourself to me. But if you'd still like, we can go as friends."

"I'd love that," James grinned.

He reran the conversation inside his head over and over again when he was laying in his fourposter.

Lily Evans had asked him out.

Lily Evans had asked him out and he didn't feel a thing but friendship towards her.

A year ago he would've been throwing up.

Why now?

James didn't think he had changed, what was different now? Why didn't she want him before.

He hardly slept that night, especially with the absence of Regulus who was spending the night with his friends, and the boys were watching him suspiciously as they scrubbed the tiles in the Transfiguration room.

"Alright, Prongs?" Sirius asked.

"Alright." James nodded, "tired is all."

"You've been awfully tired lately," Remus remarked.

"Been having trouble sleeping," James shrugged.

"Have you been drinking sleep potions?" Peter asked, "my mum always gave me those when I can't sleep."

"No, I haven't," James forced a smile, "thanks Pete."

He nodded, pleased, turning back to the floor.

"Rotten luck having two detentions on Hogsmeade," James turned to Remus.

"Rotten indeed," Remus smiled peculiarly. He was hiding something.

"You know us," Sirius grinned, "mischief never sleeps."

"Yeah," James smiled, although it felt fake.

"What're you doing today?" Peter asked, looking up at James.

"I'm going to Hogsmeade with Evans," he said.

They all froze.

"What the fuck?" Sirius gasped, "she finally said yes?"

"She asked me, actually," James said awkwardly.

"Congrats, Mate!" Remus beamed, "that's bloody brilliant."

"We're just going as friends," James shook his head, "that's all."

"Sureeee," Sirius winked, "friends."

"Oi! I'm not kidding," James said, "we're just friends. I'm not interested in Lily like that anymore."

"Yeah, right." Peter snorted.

"No, really." James said seriously.

"You're serious?" Remus looked shocked.

"Yeah," James nodded, "it's high time I moved you, don't you reckon?"

"Well I suppose you were slightly obsessive," Sirius frowned, "but I never thought this day would come."

"Well it has," James said shortly, "now hurry up and clean, I'd like to leave."

"James." Remus held him back once they were released from detention.

"Yeah?" James frowned, watching Sirius and Peter walk away, chatting about some sort of American holiday.

"I'm worried about you," Remus said, "I know you've asked us not to pry and I respect your wishes, but you'd tell us if you weren't okay? Right?"

"Course." James nodded with a half smile.

Remus looked unconvinced.

"You can talk to us, James," Remus frowned, "you can talk to me."

"Remus, I said I'm fine." James said with a little more force.

"I just think that if you'd talk to us—" Remus started forcefully.

"Why do you and Sirius have another detention?" James bit back with a frown, "don't lecture me on secrets, Remus, not when you have so many of your own."

Remus shut his mouth and nodded, backing down, "have fun with Lily."

"Thanks, Mate," James tried for a smile but it was just a cringe, "I hope Flitwick doesn't go too hard on the both of you."

"Cheers."

Chapter Text

James was more nervous than he'd been in ages.

He didn't know why he was so jittery, he had spent a ton of time alone with Lily...and it wasn't like he harbored any remaining feelings for her.

He shouldn't be nervous.

No, he definitely shouldn't be.

So why did he feel like he was going to throw up his breakfast?

He shook his head.

He could handle her rejection as a romantic pursuit—hell, he was used to it—but what if it was just him she didn't like?

What if she decided that he was just a horrible person whom she wanted nothing to do with.

That would be a proper nightmare.

It was an irrational thought, and he was more than aware of it.

She was obviously fond of him, they were friends after all.

If they could be friends after so many years of him putting her through hell...surely another couple hours couldn't do too much more damage.

Right?

Lily was waiting in the common room.

"Hi!" She chirped, "ready?"

"Yeah," James offered a smile, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers. "Ready."

"You look nice," she offered after a couple minutes of an uncomfortable silence.

"Err...thanks, you too," James tried not to pull away as she wrapped herself around his arm.

It was uncomfortable, something he'd never have guessed to use to describe Lily Evans.

"Where to first?" She asked in another attempt to make conversation, "at some point I'd like to stop at Scrivenshafts, if you don't mind? All my quills have been snapped and all I've left is pens."

At this, James's face brightened.

"Pens?" He turned to her, "those are the quill sticks Remus uses, yeah?"

Lily gave him a funny look, "I've never heard them described as quill sticks before, but sure?"

"You must teach me how they work." James demanded, stopping them in their tracks, "Remus refuses, it's quite unfair."

Lily laughed and tugged his arm gently so that they were walking once again.

"It's like a quill," she started, with an easy smile, "except you don't have to keep dipping it into ink--the ink is in the pen."

"In the pen?" James asked, "doesn't it run out?"

"Eventually." Lily agreed.

"Then what do you do with it?"

"Toss it in the bin and get a new one." She shrugged.

"Thats all?"

"Thats all."

"Huh." James let out a puff of air, "how come we use quills then?"

Lily shook her head with a laugh, "one of life's mysteries, I suppose."

They fell into a nice rhythm and the rest of the day went swimmingly in James's opinion.

They had gone to Scrivenshafts, and then Zonkos (to Lily's displeasure), Honeydukes, where James's insisted Lily tried the pink coconut ice, (if Sirius asked, no, that was not James's favorite candy) and finally the three broomsticks, where they spent the majority of their afternoon.

"What days work for you next week?" Lily asked. She had the schedule template laid out in-front of her, with a quill in one hand and her Butterbeer in the other. "It's your turn for the extra shift too."

"Let me think..." James said, "I've booked the pitch Monday, Tuesday, Thursday."

"How about Wednesday, Friday, Sunday?" Lily offered, "I can't do Friday, so I'll put us on together on Wednesday."

"Shite, that doesn't actually work." James said, "Regulus has a game Saturday morning."

Lily raised her eyebrow.

"He gets cranky when he doesn't sleep enough," James shook his head, "dramatic. It has to be a family trait."

"Not jumping at the chance to sabotage the competition? Potter?" Lily teased.

"Competition?" James smirked, "not a chance."

By the time they had finished writing up the schedule, the Three Broomsticks had emptied of students and the sun had sunk under the horizon.

"We're late," Lily sighed, checking her wristwatch, "I hadn't even noticed."

"Me either," James's admitted as he packed up their things, he was due to meet Regulus in ten minutes, there was no chance he'd be on time.

Regulus had hung back this Hogsmeade trip, he said it was to help Pandora Lestrange with something...James had tried so hard to remember what it was, alas, the words Regulus's had been speaking at the time surely couldn't be English and James's pillow was just so endearing.

He and Lily parted ways as soon as they got back to the castle and James immediately made a beeline to the Slytherin dormitory, slipping his cloak on as he went.

He navigated through the mass of Slytherins returning from Hogsmeade and ducked into Regulus's dorm unnoticed.

However, James was startled when he spotted the Slytherin in the middle of the room, hunched into a ball on his knees.

"Regulus?" James frowned, "what's the matter."

Regulus's head snapped up to look at him, he had tears down his face, his cheeks red and blotchy, and his eyes swollen.

"Is it true?" He demanded furiously.

"Is what true?" James frowned.

"You're seeing Lily Evans?"

"Oh." James's eyes widened, "no, Reg, of course I'm not."

"Don't!" Regulus yelled, "don't lie to me! You went to Hogsmeade together."

"As friends!" James tried, stepping forward to kneel in-front of him.

"Oh please," Regulus laughed bitterly, "the entire school is more than aware of your feelings about her."

"Regulus, I'd never do that to you." James frowned, "if this is going to work, you've ought to trust me."

"Trust you!" Regulus sobbed, "how the fuck can I trust you? I can't trust anyone."

"Reg—"

"No!" He strangled a sob, "no, you know what, it's fine. You deserve to be with someone like Lily Evans. She's perfect and you're perfect, and I'm—I'm just a fucking disaster. I don't know why I ever thought you could love me. You're free James, I don't care anymore."

"Well I do." James said stubbornly, "you don't get to dictate my feelings, Regulus. I love you, not Lily, you. There is nothing going on between the two of us, I swear it."

Regulus sat frozen in the center of the room, his lip trembling.

"Really?"

"Oh, come on then," James opened his arms.

Regulus fell into them in an instant, crying.

"I'm sorry," he sniffed, "I don't cry."

"You don't have to apologize for crying, Love," James ran a hand through his hair, "it's good I know how you're feeling. I'll need to work on my communication so we don't have these misunderstandings."

"I'm scared James," Regulus admitted, taking a shaky breath.

"Of what?" James frowned.

"That we'll break each other's hearts," he pulled back, his eyes piercing into James's, "I've never had emotions like this before. It's overwhelming. For most of my life I wouldn't have dreamed of feeling a love like this, I'm scared one day we'll have to let go."

James nodded at him to continue.

"When I heard you went out with Lily..." he paused for a moment. "When I heard, I thought I'd die."

"Reg—"

"No," Regulus stopped him, "no, I need to say this."

James shut his mouth, watching, listening.

"You are the one thing I live for James Potter. Your voice, your smile. You." Regulus said. "You're my compass, my pleasure, my aspirations, my home. James, you're my everything. I love you, and I know I sound pathetic but please don't leave me for Lily Evans."

He kissed him.

"You can't just go and say things like that," James groaned, smiling against his lips.

"How come?" Regulus laughed.

"I might just marry you," James said, kissing him once again.

"I dare you." Regulus challenged.

James leaned back with wide eyes.

Regulus's gaze was unwavering.

"One day," James's smile broaden as he laced his fingers in Regulus's, "one day, all of this will be over, and we'll be married."

"Swear it?"

"I swear it."

Chapter Text

Regulus was woken up in the middle of the night by James's toss and turning.

"Go to sleep." He grumbled, rolling onto his side.

"Regulus?"

Regulus groaned, he could feel James's eyes on the back of his head, and he could tell he was waiting to ask him a question.

"Can't this wait until morning?" Regulus asked, trying to bury his head into his pillow and ignore the Gryffindor.

"I want you to come live with me." James said.

Regulus froze and sat up slightly, turning his head to look at him, "what?"

"Come live with me." James repeated, "I'm scared about you going home for the holidays."

"James—"

"Regulus—"

"I can't come live with you," Regulus shook his head.

"Why?"

"James—"

"No, really, why?" James frowned, "why do you want to go back there?"

"It's my home." Regulus said, "they're my family."

"You said you wanted to get out." James said. "So leave. Come home with me."

"My parents are expecting me for the holidays." Regulus said, irritated, "my attendance is mandatory."

"Mandatory?" James scoffed, "they used to say that to Sirius and he never went."

"I'm not Sirius, James."

"Well it wouldn't kill you to try? Would it?" James yelled, throwing his hands up.

Regulus recoiled, hurt flashing in his features.

"I just don't understand!" James shouted, "if he left, why the fuck can't you?"

"Fuck you." Regulus growled.

"No, fuck you, Reg." James said, kicking off the blankets and gathering his clothes. "You're pathetic."

He shrugged on his cloak and stormed out of the dorm.

He was in a pissy mood when he got back to his dorm but it quickly faded into a sad ache as the tears begun to fall down his cheeks.

He fell into an uneasy sleep that was interrupted not even an hour later.

James's curtains were pulled open and James shifted on his side, startled out of his half-asleep daze.

"Hi," he mumbled, scooting over to make room for Regulus.

"Hi."

James froze.

That was not Regulus's voice.

He sat up and grabbed his glasses and wand off of his nightstand.

"Lumos."

Sirius stood sheepishly beside his bed.

"What's up?" James frowned.

"Can I come in?" Sirius asked hesitantly.

"Yeah," James patted the bed next to him, "are you okay?"

Sirius crawled inside, leaning heavily against James's side, resting his head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I don't like this. I don't want to be fighting."

"We're not fighting," James said.

"Then why does it feel like it?" Sirius whispered. "I heard you come back here alone, I can tell you're upset, did something happen?"

"It was just an argument," James sighed, "we were both tired, it probably wasn't a great time to bring something up."

"An argument with the girl you've been seeing?" Sirius whispered.

James's heart sunk.

Girl

For some reason, he had expected Sirius to know.

"Yeah," James sighed, there was no reason to deny it anymore, he knew. They all knew, to deny it would just be lying without reason.

"I'm sorry," Sirius grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"It's alright," James mumbled, "it was my fault anyways."

"I'm sorry for yelling at you the other day," Sirius said, "I was scared."

"I know," James squeezed his hand back, "I'm not mad at you."

Sirius practically collapsed in relief, "I just—I just really don't want Remus to get hurt...and that full moon was bad, James, it was really bad."

James felt horrible, so bad he felt like he was going to be sick.

"I've been a shite friend, haven't I?" He said finally with a heavy sigh.

"A little bit maybe," Sirius admitted, "but I reckon so have I."

James didn't respond, he just closed his eyes and squeezed Sirius's hand one last time.

They'd be alright.

Regulus disappeared again, like he had done the first time they were on ends.

He wasn't at meals, he didn't show up to patrol, he was anywhere James wasn't.

James accepted that he needed space, and gave it to him reluctantly.

However, after five days, enough was enough.

He found Regulus on the map and set out to confront him.

"Regulus?" James frowned, the kitchen was empty and dark.

"Over here!" Regulus's laugh echoed through the room. "How'd you find me?"

"Where are you?" James frowned, trying to follow his voice.

"Down here," Regulus whispered.

James yelped as a hand came out from under the table and grabbed his ankle.

"Whoops, I scared you," Regulus giggled.

"Merlin, Reg," James crawled under the table, the only light coming from his wand, "are you drunk?"

Regulus tried to keep a straight face as he tried to push a bottle of Firewhiskey behind his back.

"Noooo—"

He knocked the bottle over and it shattered on the stone floor.

"Oh, shit," he laughed. "Don't worry! It's just water, Jamie, I spilt my water."

"Move before you hurt yourself," James sighed, waving his wand at the glass.

"It's all gone," Regulus gasped staring down at the ground, "how'd you do that!"

"Magic," James said.

"Magic?" His eyes widened, and his voice dropped to a whisper, "are you a wizard?"

"Yes," James nodded, "and you are too."

"Am I really?"

"Yes, Regulus."

"That means I can do magic too?" He smiled, "is this my wand?"

"I don't think that's a good idea," James made a grab for Regulus's wand but he was too late.

Regulus waved his wand and the table they were under flew to the ceiling, slamming into one of the chandeliers.

"Oh bloody hell," James groaned dragging Regulus out of the way as they both came crashing to the ground.

"No more magic," he declared, taking Regulus's wand, "and no more alcohol."

"Nooo—" Regulus groaned, stumbling as James's pulled him to his feet.

"Come on," James said, "I'll take you back to my dorm."

"Oh?" Regulus grinned, his hands trailing down James's torso, his lips messily finding the Gryffindor's.

James stepped back, holding Regulus back by the shoulders.

"Reg, no, you're drunk."

"No I'm not," Regulus frowned. "Why won't you kiss me?"

"Because you're drunk," James sighed, "come on, let's get you some water." He tugged on his wrist but Regulus wasn't moving.

"You don't love me anymore," his lip trembled, "you think I'm ugly."

"I don't think you're ugly Love," James poured a glass of water from the sink, "and I love you very much."

"No you don't." Regulus cried, "you won't kiss me!"

"I'll kiss you if you drink this water," James bargained, holding the cup to his lips.

Regulus opened his mouth and gulped down the water frantically, coughing as he tried to swallow.

"Done." He declared, pursing his lips expectantly.

James smiled fondly, pecking him quickly.

Regulus recoiled immediately, his face of pure betrayal.

"No!" He cried, "no! That's not what I wanted. You didn't kiss me!"

"Yes I did!" James laughed.

"Bloody pathetic kiss," Regulus crossed his arms. "You're still mad at me."

"No I'm not," James sighed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

"Yes you did." Regulus sniffed, "you were right, I'm pathetic."

"You're not pathetic," James amended, "I shouldn't have said that."

"They why did you?"

"I was upset," James said, "but that is no excuse."

"I can't come home with you," Regulus whispered, looking down at his feet, "I don't want to fight about it."

"But—" James started.

Regulus shook his head, "please."

James closed his mouth and nodded curtly, "fine."

"Thank you," Regulus said, pulling James to his chest, "I love you."

James let himself be wrapped in Regulus's arms, burying his face into his neck.

"I love you," he murmured back, his words muffled by Regulus's skin.

Chapter Text

Regulus sighed, laying across his fourposter with his arms crossed behind his head.

He was bored.

Barty- out fooling around with Merlin knows who.

James- patrol with Lily

Pandora- ....huh.

Regulus didn't actually know what Pandora was up to.

He swung his legs off the side of his bunk and stretched as he got to his feet.

"Pandora!" He called as he banged on the door, "Pandora! Are you in there."

He heard footsteps inside but the door remained closed.

"Dora? I hear footsteps!" Regulus huffed. "Let me in please."

The door finally opened and...oh.

"Regulus Black." Dorcas Meadows drawled, her arms coming to cross over her chest. "What is so urgent that you're banging on my door?"

"Where's Pandora?" Regulus ignored her question as he tried to look around her into the room, "is she here?"

"No." Dorcas rolled her eyes, "she's not here."

"Where is she then?" Regulus frowned.

"Hogsmeade."

"Hogsmeade?" He repeated with a frown, "she snuck out? Why?"

"To meet Lovegood for a hookup obviously," Dorcas looked amused as Regulus's face turned a deep shade of red.

"Well when will she be back?"

"Not until tomorrow afternoon I'd reckon," Dorcas shrugged, "what do you need her for?"

"Nothing." Regulus shook his head, "just bored."

"Well I'm no Pandora, but I reckon I'll do," Dorcas grinned, opening the door wider for him to come inside.

"Oh." Regulus looked at her hesitantly, "it's alright, I'll find something to do."

"Nonsense." Dorcas grabbed his wrist and practically yanked him through the doorway, "I can do with some entertainment myself."

She plopped herself down on her bed while Regulus reluctantly sat down on Pandora's.

"So what's interesting, Black?" Dorcas asked, "I don't know a single thing about you."

Regulus ignored her question, his eyes drawn over to where a Gryffindor tie was hanging on her footboard.

"What's that?" He pointed.

"What's what?" She frowned, following his gaze.

"Oh!" She laughed, "the tie?"

Regulus nodded.

"It's my girlfriend's." Dorcas shrugged.

"Your girlfriend?"

"Okay, well she's not technically my girlfriend yet, per-say, but hopefully she will be soon."

"Who?"

"Ah. Can't tell you that I'm afraid." Dorcas shrugged, "bet you'll understand, given your situation and all."

Regulus's stomach dropped. "What?"

"I don't want to assume anything," Dorcas said, leaning back casually on her bed, "but you did come down wearing a Gryffindor tie the other day."

She must've seen the panic on Regulus's face because she was quick to say.

"I transfigured it as soon as I saw, I doubt anyone else noticed, you had hardly even made it down the staircase."

"Why would you do that?" Regulus asked, unable to keep the suspicion out of his tone.

Dorcas shrugged, "I didn't reckon it was something you wanted to share."

"You haven't told anyone?"

"Of course not!" Dorcas looked offended, "I'm not an arse."

Regulus nodded.

"Besides," Dorcas let a smirk creep onto her lips, "my heart goes out to the unfortunate lass that'll be tormented for slagging around with Slytherin Prince."

"Lad." Regulus corrected, glancing down in his lap. Dorcas had been blunt with him about her status with another girl, he felt he owed her the same formality.

If Dorcas was surprised, it didn't show.

"I suppose we really are in quite a similar pinch than," she extended her foot to playfully jostle his leg. "I'd say we deserve a drink."

She knelt at the foot of her bed and rummaged through her trunk, pulling out a bottle of Firewhiskey.

She transfigured quills into glasses and offered one to Regulus.

He took it hesitantly, staring down at the liquor.

"Something wrong?" Dorcas asked, already pouring herself a second glass.

"No." Regulus denied quickly.

She raised her eyebrow, "if you say so...you don't have to drink it, you know? I won't be offended."

"No, it's not that." Regulus shook his head, taking a small sip from his glass, debating whether or not he wanted to explain himself further.

"I won't judge." Dorcas shrugged, leaning back against her headboard, "we've all got our own issues, Black."

"Yeah," he tried a small smile, "and mine was a drinking one."

Dorcas froze, her complexion instantly paling.

Regulus's cheeks flushed.

"Do—should I take that?" She asked, pointing to his glass.

"No, no, I'm okay," Regulus assured her, "just don't give me another one—it's in my past. I can handle a couple drinks. Usually it wouldn’t even cross my mind, but I’ve just relapsed...a couple days ago."

"Shit. That sucks" Dorcas said.

Regulus looked at her as she realized, her eyes going wide.

"No! Oh that sounded horrible!" Dorcas covered her mouth in horror, "I'm typically not a unsympathetic git I swear!"

Regulus threw his head back and let out a loud, humorous laugh.

Dorcas looked too appalled to join him.

"I cannot believe I said that." She muttered. "I'm hardly ever that brash."

Regulus took a deep breath, unable to keep the smile from his face.

"Dorcas Meadows." He mused, "how come we're not friends?"

Dorcas studied his face, an upon realizing the lack of offense in his features, let herself relax.

Regulus raised his eyebrows, signaling her to answer his question.

"Dunno." Dorcas grinned, "maybe because you're a brooding recluse."

Regulus's jaw dropped and he doubled over, howling with laughter.

This time Dorcas did join him, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"I'm sorry!" She shrieked, gasping for a breath, "I can't even say it was a joke!"

This caused Regulus to break out into more hysterics, his face turning bright red.

It took the better part of ten minutes for the two of them to stop laughing every time their eyes met.

Regulus sagged against the plush pillows of Pandora's bed, draining the remainder of his drink.

"Oh I'm so totally fucked." Dorcas groaned, tossing the Gryffindor tie to the ground. "I'm gone, Regulus, so far gone. This girl drives me proper mad."

"Can't be worse off than me." Regulus snorted, "between him and my family—I'm going to be in an early grave mark my words."

Dorcas laughed, covering her eyes with the crook of her arm, "I like you, Regulus Black, I think this is the start of something great."

Regulus closed his eyes, letting his arms rest on his propped up knees.

He couldn't help the feeling that Dorcas Meadows was absolutely correct.

Chapter Text

James tossed his gear into his locker, his wet hair dripping onto the fresh T-shirt that he had adorned.

"Oi!"

Marlene pinched his side, causing him to jump.

"Marls!" He whined, rubbing his side, "how many times have I told you not to do that!"

"Couple hundred maybe?" She gave him a cheeky smile, "hurry up, we can walk up together."

"I'm done," James huffed, grabbing his bag and closing his locker.

"Slytherin this weekend." She reminded him, as if it wasn't the only thing they've been talking about for the last two weeks, "excited?"

"Naturally."

"Me too." Marlene grinned, "I'm excited to get the chance to go against Dorcas Meadows again."

"Brilliant flier she is," James nodded, "I'll never forget that match where the two of you went at it."

"Yeah, best match of my life." Marlene said, "I've still got the scar from where she punched me—one of her rings got me, right under the eye, do you see?"

She brushed her bangs to the side and showed James the thin white line right under her waterline.

"Shit, yeah." James laughed, "didn't you break her nose?"

"Yeah I did." Marlene looked proud. "Want to place bets?"

James looked at her, "do you?"

"Fuck yeah." Marlene jostled his shoulder, "give you five galleons that it's a tied game, Gryffindor catches the snitch."

James threw his head back and laughed. "No way, absolutely no way, McKinnon!"

"We'll what's your bet then?" She challenged.

"Slytherin catches the snitch as soon as Gryffindor is up by 260."

Marlene scoffed, "that is preposterous, James Potter. Why would they catch the snitch knowing they'd lose."

"You're a brilliant player, Marlene, but you have no strategy," James said. "Right now, we're tied with Slytherin with overall points."

"Yes?" Marlene said, "I fail to see your point."

"Whoever wins this match will go against Ravenclaw next," James explained, "last time they played against them, they got their arses kicked. If Slytherin loses to us, they'll play Hufflepuff who they can easily kill. They'll use that game to rack up points while we get fucked over playing against Ravenclaw again."

Marlene scoffed, "so they're going to lose to sabotage us?"

"Precisely."

"Buggering hell." Marlene swore, "how'd you figure that out?"

"Strategy, Marls."

"Well what are we going to do about it?"

"There's nothing we can do," James shrugged, "they will catch the snitch exactly when they need too, and then we'll just have to make sure to beat Ravenclaw, which we've done before, it'll be Gryffindor versus Slytherin for the cup."

"You have that little faith in our seeker?" Marlene frowned.

"I have that much faith in Regulus Black." James countered, kissing Marlene's cheek as he ran up the steps to his dorm. "Later, McKinnon."

"Evening boys." James kicked off his shoes at the door.

There was no answer.

James frowned, curtains were drawn around all three of the other four posters.

"Hello?" James asked.

Again no answer.

"What the fuck."

The curtains around Remus's bed rustled and his head poked through the opening.

James sent him a questioning look, "what—"

Remus shook his head aggressively, gesturing James to come over.

"What's happening?" James whispered as he climbed into Remus's fourposter.

Remus cast a silencing charm around his bed and pulled the curtains closed.

"I'm sorry." Remus shook his head, "I tried to talk to him but he just doesn't want to listen."

"Talk to who?" James was utterly confused, "Remus? What are you going on about?"

"Sirius." Remus huffed, "he is not speaking to you...or about you at the moment."

"Sorry....what?" James laughed in disbelief, "you're kidding? Right?"

"Afraid not."

"We literally just made up." James said, "he can't already be mad at me?"

"I don't think he's particularly upset with you," Remus sighed, "I think he's just having trouble with a lot right now and unfortunately you're who he's chosen to take it out on."

James stared at him, "you're joking me right now, Remus. Can't you talk to him?"

"I tried." Remus shrugged, "I don't want to push him...you understand, don't you?"

"No." James frowned, "no, I very much do not. I haven't done anything to deserve a silent treatment."

"It's just Sirius being himself." Remus said, a defensive lift in his voice, "you out of anyone should get it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, ignore me." Remus sighed, running his hand through his hair, "listen, I think you've oughta give him some space...spend the night away maybe? That shouldn't be that much of an issue for you, all things considered?"

"You're kicking me out?" James scoffed, "Moony, what the fuck?"

"Sorry, James, I think it's just for the best." Remus said, "I don't want to upset him anymore."

"He shouldn't be upset at all! I haven't done shite!"

"Just give me the night to try and get through to him."

"Fine, whatever." James threw his hands up, "good fucking friends you lot are."

"James..."

"I don't want to hear it, Remus."

He grabbed his cloak and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

Regulus was sitting on the floor of his dorm, his textbooks sprawled out around him, his quill rhythmically tapping on his parchment as he reread his essay for what seemed like the tenth time.

He was almost relieved when the door slammed open with a bang.

He looked up and saw nobody standing there.

"Barty's not here." He said, flicking his wand so the door closed and locked, "you can take it off."

James Potter appeared in a second.

But something was wrong.

His face was red and his eyes, glossy.

"What's wrong?" Regulus demanded, putting down his quill.

"Can I stay here?" James's voice wavered, "I was kicked out of my dorm."

"Of course you can stay here." Regulus's eyes widened, "James, you know you can always come stay."

"I just didn't know where we stood," James said. "You—you haven't come to sleep with me since we argued."

"We're perfectly fine." Regulus smiled, "I've just been busy, Darling, have barely been sleeping, if I'm honest. Midterms are kicking my arse."

"Oh, okay." James's shoulders sagged, "good, that's good."

"What's happened?" Regulus tried again.

"It's okay!" James looked back up with a smile so manically broad. "Everything's fine!"

"Come here." Regulus demand, holding his arms open.

James crawled into his lap, balling up against his chest.

"I'm okay." James sniffed.

"No, Darling, you're very much not so." Regulus said sadly, twisting James's curls around his finger.

"I'm not okay." James sobbed into his shoulder.

"I know." Regulus soothed. "How can I help?"

"Just hold me please."

He nodded, squeezing him tighter. "What happened?"

"It's not a big deal." James laughed wetly, "don't worry about it."

"It's okay not to be okay, Love." Regulus kissed his forehead, "let someone take care of you for a change."

James whimpered, tightening his grip on Regulus's top, "Sirius isn't talking to me, Remus told me it'd be better if I left."

"Why is Sirius not talking to you?" Regulus frowned, "I thought you two made up."

"We did!" James's voice cracked, "Remus told me he just chose to take his anger out on me. He's literally mad at me for no reason! It's not fair, Reg!"

"That's all the explanation they gave?" Regulus frowned, "what the fuck, James, these are supposed to be your friends! I thought Lupin was the smart one."

"It's fine."  James sniffed, "I'm sure it'll all blow over by tomorrow."

"It's not fine." Regulus frowned, "they shouldn't be able to pull that shite, James. They have absolutely no regard for your feelings."

"Can we not talk about it?" James wiped the tears from his cheeks, "I just want to lay with you, I haven't seen much of you this week."

"Ok." Regulus sighed, "I’m sorry, I think we should talk about it though."

"Please."

"Alright," Regulus grabbed under his thighs, hiking him up on his hips, "up we go."

"Reg—" James broke out into a laugh, tightening his legs around Regulus's waist as the other boy lifted him.

"If Quidditch workouts are good for one thing, it's being able to lift your big arse." Regulus grunted, shifting so one hand still gripped James's thigh tightly, but the other was around his back supportively.

"You love my big arse." James smiled, playfully nipping at Regulus's neck.

Regulus groaned, falling forward so James landed on his back on the fourposter.

James laughed, pulling Regulus down with him, "you sure you can take a break from revisions?"

Regulus laughed, tangling his fingers in James's curls, lowering his lips onto his, "I think I can sacrifice some of my precious time."

"Oh...you think?" James grinned. "Wouldn't want your precious time to be wasted."

"Some things are more precious to me."

Chapter Text

"I'm not considered this." Regulus mumbled to himself, "this is mad. I will not do it."

James smacked his lips together, rolling off of Regulus's arm.

"I'm totally doing this." Regulus groaned, pushing himself up off the bed as quietly as he could.

He grabbed James's discarded jeans and pulled an empty piece of parchment out of the back pocket.

"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good."

The map unfolded and spread out in his hands.

The dot with Sirius's name underneath was in the library.

Regulus checked his watch and scoffed.

Who the fuck went to the library at seven o'clock on a Saturday morning.

Whatever. It made it easier for him.

Regulus put the map back and changed out of his pajamas, kissing James's forehead before he left.

Sirius was sitting at a table in the back, a book open in front of him, however, his eyes were not moving across the page, it was clear his thoughts were elsewhere.

"Morning." Regulus sat across from him, a deep frown etched on his face.

Sirius's eyes snapped up, first they were surprised, then they were suspicious.

"What do you want?" Sirius closed his book.

"I want to know why you're such an arse." Regulus said.

Sirius scoffed, "what rubbish are you on about."

"I'm talking about Potter." Regulus knew he had to chose his words precisely in order not to fuck everything up.

This seemed to take Sirius by surprise. "What?"

"James Potter." Regulus crossed his arms, "you know, I'd kill to have a friend like him."

"Why are you talking about James?" Sirius growled, "you don't even know him for bloody sake."

"He's my patrol partner you fucking wanker." Regulus said, "but you wouldn't know that because your head is shoved so far up your own bloody arse."

Sirius stared at him.

"Against my better judgment, I have grown to not completely disdain Potter." Regulus gritted out. "And Dear Brother of mine, it is so much easier to tolerate him when he is not utterly distraught."

"You don't know shite, Regulus."

"I know he doesn't deserve that." Regulus said, "whatever has got you pissed, stop fucking taking it out on him."

"It's you, Regulus."

It was Regulus's turn to be speechless.

"You're what's got me all riled up." There was a mad glint in Sirius's eyes.

"Me?" Regulus finally found his voice, "what the fuck have I done now?"

"Cissy wrote me." Sirius spat, "you have been brought to the Dark Lord's attention."

Regulus's blood ran cold.

"You didn't know?" Sirius looked shocked.

"No." Regulus whispered, shaking his head, "I did not."

"You can still leave." Sirius stressed. "Why don't you leave."

Regulus shook his head and stood from the table. "You know I can't."

"Regulus!" Sirius yelled after him. "You're a fucking coward! You hear?"

Regulus looked over his shoulder with a frown. "Be mad at me, Sirius." He shook his head, "don't take it out on your friends."

Sirius and James made up later that day. Of course they did, Regulus thought, they never really lasted too long not speaking to each-other. Their relationship was something Regulus didn't think he'd ever understand.

James was right of course, as he is about most things. The next day at the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin match, Regulus caught the snitch precisely when he needed too, causing yet another victory for Gryffindor.

Regulus did not tell James what Sirius had said, he didn't wish to worry him.

However, that blew up in his face a few days later.

The door slammed open and Regulus jumped.

James was in the doorway, his face red.

"What's the matter?" Regulus asked.

"You're coming home with me for the holidays." James said sternly, closing the door behind him. "Sirius told me."

"Of course he did." Regulus rolled his eyes, "James, we've talked about this."

"No. You've talked." James fumed, "it's my turn now. You are coming home with me and that is the end of it? You don't have a choice."

"Excuse me?" Regulus's anger began to grow, "I don't have a choice? Is that what you just said to me?"

"I will not watch you go back there." James said, "I will not do it Regulus, I cannot. If you go back I'll never forgive you."

"It's because you're fucking scared!" Regulus shouted, "you're scared of your own bloody guilt about fucking a villain. Because at the end of the day, James, you just see me as a problem for you to fix."

"I'm not a fucking martyr of goodness, Regulus!" James yelled, "I don't even know what's good and what's bad. You just need to survive! I'm fucking scared that they'll kill you in that house."

Regulus was stunned, frozen where he stood.

"I love you." James said fiercely, "nothing you do will ever change that, no matter how bad. I'm with you, Regulus, you're not alone."

"I can't come." Regulus said.

"I don't understand why." James fired back, "you keep saying that you can't but not once have you said why."

"They'll come for me," Regulus said, "James, they will come for all of you to get to me. You, your parents, Sirius, I can't come."

"Let them come." James said, "our wards are better than any others, we knew the risks when we took in Sirius."

"I can't put your family in danger," Regulus said, "I can't let you be in danger because of me."

"That's not up to you," James said.

"I'm trying to protect you!" Regulus shouted.

"And I'm trying to protect you!" James said, "one of us has to give and it sure as hell isn't me."

"Life isn't fair, James. We can't always win."

"You're not even trying!" James yelled in frustration. "I can't have this argument over and over. It's making me miserable Regulus."

Regulus recoiled, hurt written across his features. "This isn't an argument," he said shortly. "They're my family. I can't leave."

"They may be your parents," James shook his head, "but they're not fucking family."

"I love them." Regulus said. The line was rehearsed, void of any emotion.

"That isn't love, Regulus," James said, "and you're lying to yourself if you think they give a single shit about you. They don't love you, they only love to use you."

"Stop." Regulus shook his head, "you don't know anything."

"I know that if they loved you," James fired back, "really, truly, loved you, they wouldn't put you through any of this shit."

"It's my duty."

"Bullshit."

"You're so fucking delusional, Potter," Regulus spat, "you're expecting me to come running to you just like Sirius."

"Potter?" James's lip twitched, "Brillant, Regulus, really. Are you fucking shitting me? We're doing this now?"

"This is your own fault," Regulus said, "you say my family manipulates me, but that is exactly what you're doing."

"Holy shit!" James's eyes widened, "holy shit, Regulus, I can't do this anymore."

He walked across the room, to the door, his hands tugging at his hair, "I need some space, Reg, I hope you have a Happy fucking Christmas."

"This is it then?" Regulus shrieked after him. "Happy fucking Christmas? Just like that we're over?"

James froze, his hand on the handle.

He looked over his shoulder, Regulus had fallen to his knees, his eyes were wide and swollen, tears streaming down his red face.

His anger disappeared immediately as he watched the boy he loved more than the world break down. He looked so broken, and all James wanted to do was hold him and tell him it'd be okay.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" Regulus sobbed, hiding his face, "just leave. It's over, I'm not your problem anymore."

"Darling," James frowned, crouching down in front of him, "look at me please."

"No," Regulus gasped, turning away. "Leave me alone. We're done."

"We're not done, Regulus." James sighed, prying his arms from his face, "it was a fight. That's all."

"What do you mean?" He sniffed, wiping his face, "you said you weren't happy."

"Yes," James said slowly, "I'm not happy, Regulus. I'm not happy your family treats you like shit, I'm not happy that you think that's what love is. I'm not happy that I have to hide my love for the most beautiful boy, and I'm not happy that you don't see yourself how I see you. But I'm not unhappy I'm with with you, Regulus, I could never be, you make me the happiest I could ever be despite all our problems."

"So we're still together?" Regulus asked.

"Indefinitely," James kissed him, "I love you."

Regulus let out another sob, burying himself into James's chest.

James pulled him into his lap, trailing his fingers down his spine.

"I can't be who you want me to be." Regulus sniffed. "I'm not like you and Sirius. I'm not brave."

"You're braver than I ever could be," James smiled weakly, pressing his lips to his temple. "Braver than you'll ever know."

"I can't come," Regulus said.

"And I can't make you." James sighed sadly. "I just hope you realize that they treat you horribly. Because, you, Regulus Black, are the first raindrop after an eternity of drought."

"I love you." Regulus mumbled.

And it was okay. They didn't talk about the following morning, it didn't matter anymore. The only thing that mattered was that they were in each other's arms.

Chapter Text

"James," Regulus moaned, tangling his fingers in James's mop of hair.

James groaned as Regulus pulled the roots of his curls, leaning away from his neck for just a second to help him get his shirt over his head.

Their bare chests were pressed flush against each other and James smirked, sticking his fingers into Regulus's waistband.

"Can I give you a blowjob?" He whispered.

Regulus shuddered, James's breath warm on his neck.

"I—I don't know if we have the room," he stammered, overly aware of a broom poking into his shoulder.

James dropped down to his knees.

"James? What—"

Regulus was caught off by James unzipping his trousers, and pulling his length out of his briefs.

The doorknob clicked and the two of them froze, panicked eyes meeting each other.

Regulus scrambled to get his trouser done up again while James searched desperately for their shirts.

"Oh shit."

Terror crept down Regulus's spine and he couldn't bring himself to turn around.

"I'm—I'm really sorry." It was a girl. A voice Regulus recognized.

Shit

"I'll just give you guys a second."

The door closed with a click and they were in the dark once again.

"Are you okay?" James immediately reached out and pulled Regulus to his chest, running a hand through his hair.

"Please tell me that wasn't Pandora." Regulus whimpered.

"It was Pandora," James cringed.

"Shit." Regulus chewed nervously on his lip, "get me my shirt, I'll go out and talk to her."

James nodded and passed Regulus's button down to him.

Pandora was standing across the hall, her face white and her lips parted in shock.

"What. The. Fuck!" Pandora shrieked.

"Shh!" Regulus hurried, "please be quiet."

"You're shagging James Potter!" She whispered, disbelief in her voice.

"Yes." Regulus was smarter than deny it, she had already seen enough to know.

"Since when?"

"October."

"October!"

"Pandora! Please!" Regulus's voice was high as he scanned the hall nervously, "please keep your voice down."

"Sorry," she clamped her mouth shut.

"You can't tell anyone," he said hurriedly.

"As if I would," she gasped, "imagine what your parents would say! Regulus, what are you thinking? You're going to get the both of you killed, for what? A shag?"

"I love him." He whimpered, "Pandora, I'm in love with him."

She stared at him.

"Please say something."

"Does he know?" She whispered.

Regulus nodded.

"And he feels the same way?"

He nodded again.

"Shit."

"Shit." Regulus repeated.

"We shouldn't be having this conversation here," she said, glancing around them.

"You can come to my dorm after patrol," Regulus said, "Barty isn't there."

Pandora nodded. "You're lucky it was me. Don't make this mistake again."

"I won't." He nodded, "thank you."

"You're my friend, Regulus," Pandora smiled, "you don't have to thank me."

She kissed his cheek and hurried off down the corridor.

Regulus let out a huge sigh and covered his face with his hands.

The broom closet door creaked open and James reached out and grabbed Regulus, dragging him back inside and back into his embrace.

"I fucked up," James whispered into his neck, "it's my fault, I forgot to lock the door, I'm sorry."

Regulus shook his head, "it's just as much my fault as it is yours. It's okay. It was just Pandora. We just have to be smarter."

"I love you," James turned his face to kiss him.

"I love you." Regulus smiled into his lips.

"You're staying the night in my dorm?" James asked.

"I've got to meet Pandora," Regulus shook his head, "but I might sneak up later."

"I'll leave the cloak with you then," James kissed his nose, "we should get back to patrol."

"Yeah. We should."

Regulus's feet dragged as he pulled himself up the staircase to his dorm.

He didn't even get to open the door before it swung open and Pandora practically dragged him inside.

"Spill." She demanded.

"Well—" Regulus started.

"Potter?" Pandora interrupted, "James fucking Potter? You're fucking James fucking Potter?"

"Yes." Regulus said, "the very one."

"You love him?"

Regulus nodded.

"He loves you?"

He nodded again.

"You actually said those words to each other?"

"Yes."

"Like directly? 'I love you'?"

"Yes! Pandora!" Regulus sighed, "James Potter is my boyfriend."

"Does he have a big—"

"I'm going to stop you there." Regulus said quickly, "that's not what you're here to discuss."

"Alright, alright." Pandora teased, "forgive me for wanting the juicy details...after all James Potter is considered the most eligible bachelor at Hogwarts...well after Remus Lupin I suppose."

"Well he's off the market." Regulus snapped, hating the idea of anyone else's hands on something that was undoubtedly his.

Pandora's eyes widened. "You mean you two are exclusive?"

"Yes." Regulus bit out.

"Oh..." Pandora said, "I suppose that makes sense...he is a Gryffindor after all, they aren't known to be good at sharing."

"It was my idea." Regulus said bluntly, "but we were exclusive from the beginning—before we even agreed on it. I just haven't had the desire to be intimate with anyone else...and James, he's too loyal, he wouldn't have either."

"I'm sorry, your idea?" Pandora stared, "you said you hated monogamy. Is the sex really that good?"

"Pandora Lestrange." Regulus scowled.

"Come on, out of ten...how good is it?"

"Dora! No!" Regulus couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips.

"Fine, fine," Pandora shook her head with a smile, "you're happy?"

"More than."

She reached over and grabbed his hand, "that's all that matters then."

They sat in silence for a couple minutes before either of them dared to speak again.

"I'm scared." Regulus admitted.

Pandora nodded, she knew better than to assure him it'll be okay, there was no way for them to know it would be.

"You can leave." She spoke in a whisper.

Regulus let out a heavy breath, "I wish it was that simple, Pandora, I'd leave in a heartbeat."

"What's stopping you?"

"What's stopping you?" He countered.

"Rabastan," she sighed, "he's not like the others...I think I'm the only thing keeping him from completely losing himself, I can't leave him. But you can leave, Reg, you've got nothing holding you there...nothing but yourself, you can be with your brother again."

"I wish that was true." He smiled sadly, trying to keep the tears at bay.

Her face paled, "what happened? What didn't you tell me?"

He cursed her for being so bright, she was always so observant, you couldn't get anything past Pandora Lestrange.

"They made me take an unbreakable vow." He said, leaning back against his headboard, squeezing his eyes shut.

He had said it. There wasn't any taking it back now, he had said it and Pandora knew.

He heard a small gasp before her petite frame was curled into his side.

"Did you tell him?" She whispered.

"No." Regulus's voice broke.

"You have to, Reg."

"I can't."

"You have to. If something happens, you know he'll never stop blaming himself, if you love him, you have to tell him."

"I'm scared." He choked out, a sob breaking its way through his chest, "Dora, I'm so scared. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I don't—I don't know what they're going to do to me."

She pulled his head to her chest, pulling her fingers soothingly through his hair, tears of her own falling down her porcelain cheeks.

"I'm sorry." He sobbed, "I'm sorry."

They cried together for hours, falling asleep leaning against each other, their eyes red, their tears dried on their cheeks.

They knew, sitting there, Regulus Black would have to become a Death Eater less he die...and either way, James Potter would be ruined.

Chapter Text

The final weeks before holidays passed and with every passing day, the feeling of dread built in Regulus’s chest.

He was sleeping less and less, dark bags carved under his eyes, and he only ate when James forced a meal down his throat.

Then came the arguing. Everything and anything was an argument now that Regulus and James’s emotions were at a peak.

The latter found himself nervously picking at the skin of his nail beds as Regulus’s bones became more and more prominent every time he ran his hands down his rib cage.

After some time, it was impossible for James to continue to hold his tongue.

They couldn’t speak without fighting so they barely spoke at all, merely sitting together in a weighted silence.

It was taking its toll.

Regulus sat on the foot of James’s bed, watching him as he packed his belongings into his trunk.

They would leave tomorrow morning for London, and nothing would ever be the same again.

James looked up, sensing Regulus’s eyes on him.

He looked exhausted.

"Come with me." James said once again.

Regulus glared at him.

"I'm sorry." James shook his head, closing his trunk, "but I'll never forgive myself if I give up on you."

"James." Regulus's lip twitched.

“I know you’re going to say you can’t,” James said desperately his voice hoarse, “but Regulus, please, I am begging you. Please come home with me.”

Regulus shook his head just the slightest little bit and James broke out into tears, sobs shaking his shoulders.

“Why?” He sobbed, “am I not enough? Why don’t you want me? You’d rather go back there and get tortured, than—than spend the fucking holidays with me! Do you not love me? Is that it? Because if you don’t, just—just bloody say it for fucks sake!”

Regulus sunk to the floor next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

James forcefully shrugged it off, pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes.

He hated crying, and Regulus knew that.

"I lied before."

James froze, a question stinging on his tongue.

"I can't leave." Regulus said.

"What?" He dropped his hands, his eyes bearing into Regulus’s.

"I can't leave." Regulus repeated, "when Sirius left—they wanted to assure that I couldn't follow him."

"What do you mean?" James laughed nervously, "Reg, you're scaring me."

"I have an unbreakable vow, James." Pain was laced in his voice, "I can't leave."

"An unbreakable vow?" James breathed, "your parents made you make an unbreakable vow?"

Regulus nodded.

James stared at him, his hazel eyes wide. His face was growing redder by the second, his hands shaking at his side, his tears now threatened by anger.

"Fuck!" He jumped to his feet, whirled around and punched the wall. "Fuck!"

His sob broke out in an echo.

Regulus jumped, startled.

“James!”

“Fuck Regulus!”

He sunk back down to his knees, holding his bloodied knuckles to his chest.

"I'm sorry." Regulus said.

"You should've told me."

"I know."

"What's the vow? Regulus?"

"I must obey and abide by any order given by the Lord Black." Regulus recited with a grimace. "My father requested my attendance."

"So you have to go." James said miserably. "That's so fucked."

"It's merciful." Regulus bit out. "Better him than my mother."

James seemed at a loss for words.

"I'm sorry." Regulus whispered, taking James's bloodied hand, fixing the busted skin with his wand.

James's stare was almost intimidating and Regulus couldn't bring himself to meet it.

"I don't know what's worse." James frowned. "That the people who are supposed to love you the most are the ones doing this to you, or the fact that you don't see an issue with it."

"Of course I see an issue with it!" Regulus scowled. "This whole thing is a utter fuckup!"

"Then why are you okay with it!" James roared. "You think you deserve this shit? So you're just going to take it laying down and that's it?"

"I don't have a choice!" Regulus choked, "don't you understand? I disobey and I die. There isn't any loophole, there isn't an out."

James reached out and pulled him into a desperate embrace, sobbing into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry." Regulus said.

"It's not your fault."

Regulus combed through James's hair, moving his legs out from underneath him.

"What are we going to do now?" James whispered.

Regulus shook his head, pressing a kiss to James's shoulder.

"There's nothing we can do, Love."

"There's got to be something!" James sniffed, leaning back. His face was red and blotchy, his eyes glossy and cheeks stained. "What was your vow? The exact wording?"

"I will obey and abide by any order given by the Lord Black, performing to the standards set forth by the ancient and noble house of Black."

"We have to kill your father." James said.

Regulus's eyes widened. "Ah, yes. Patricide, the answer to everything."

"It's the only way." James frowned, "once he is dead, who'll be the Lord, you or Sirius?"

"Sirius is disowned." Regulus said, "I'm the heir, I will become Lord. But if he dies before I am of age or I happen to be disowned, the title will go to my Uncle Cygnus."

"You aren't of age until January." James mumbled anxiously. "Shit. What the fuck are we going to do."

Regulus took his hand and squeezed it.

"I'm going to go home. I'm going to keep my head down, and I'm going to obey my father."

"That's dehumanizing." James looked green. "Nobody should have that much control of someone else."

Regulus didn’t have an answer.

“I’ll come with you.” James said.

“No. You will not.” Regulus said forcefully, pulling back, “they will kill you on sight.”

“Then they will not see me.” James said desperately, “I will stay under my cloak.”

“You will not come.” Regulus said, “I will die before I allow it.”

“You will die if you do not!” James’s voice broke.

“Then I will die.” Regulus bit out, “I will not do it James. I will not put you at risk, I would happily die before I let anything happen to you.”

“I can’t live without you.” James pleaded, “please.”

Regulus just shook his head.

“I promised.” James sobbed, “Regulus I promised I’d get you out of there.”

“It’s okay, Love,” Regulus tried a smile, but it turned into a sob instead, “it’s okay, you tried.”

He looked at the ceiling, blinking back tears as he took deep breaths.

“I don’t want to cry.” Regulus whispered, “I’ve done enough of that already. I don’t want to spend this time in agony, I want to be with you, I want to hold you, fuck, James, I want to be happy.”

James let out a final sob, letting his head fall onto Regulus’s shoulder.

“Can we do that?” Regulus pleaded, “can we pretend none of this is happening and just be us?”

James nodded, “yeah,” his voice was rough, “yeah, Reg, we can do that.”

So they did.

Chapter Text

Regulus spotted James standing with Sirius and Remus on the platform.

He watched as Sirius embraced James goodbye, laughing at something he had said.

He met James's eye and the other boy nodded, discretely pulling Remus a couple paces away.

"Staying for the holidays, then?" Regulus asked as he stepped next to his brother.

Sirius jumped, looking at him with an unreadable expression, "what do you want?"

"Nothing," Regulus shrugged, "can't I just wish my brother a Happy Christmas?"

"Your not my brother." Sirius's eyes hardened, "and you've never felt the need to say goodbye before."

"Very well." Regulus blew out a heavy breath, "you caught me."

"What do you want, Regulus?"

"You can let me go." Regulus dragged his gaze up to meet his brothers.

"What?" Sirius frowned.

"You can let me go." Regulus repeated, "it's okay."

"What bloody shite are you on about?" Sirius scoffed.

"I hated you for leaving." Regulus whispered. "I didn't understand it, but I do now, I don't think I can forgive you, but I understand and I don't blame you."

Sirius stared at him.

"It would've killed you—staying in that house. Mother never did learn to restrain herself...or she never cared to. But either way, it was easier to pretend the pain wasn't that bad when the screams weren't my own."

"Regulus."

"No, let me finish." Regulus cut him off, "I didn't hate you for leaving me, I hated myself because I wasn't brave enough to come with you...and that's why I can never forgive you."

"That's not fair." Sirius said, "I asked you to come with me, fuck, Regulus, I begged you to."

"I know." Regulus whispered.

"Why're you telling me this?"

"I'm scared," Regulus said honestly, "fuck, I'm fucking terrified of going home."

"Then fucking leave!" Sirius barked, "stop being a bloody coward and leave."

"I'm trying." Regulus's voice broke, "I promise I'm trying."

"Regulus—"

Regulus shook his head.

"I love you, Sirius, I'm sorry."

If that would be the last time he ever spoke to his brother, at least he'd know he was sorry.

James was waiting for him in the compartment.

He gave Regulus a questioning look when he arrived. He had seen what had just happened on the platform.

Regulus just shook his head.

James nodded and held his arms open.

Regulus collapsed into them gratefully.

That's how they stayed for the majority of the train ride, holding each other, whispering sweet nothings and exchanging intimate touches for what they feared to be the last time.

"You should read Romeo and Juliet." Regulus said suddenly.

"What?" James laughed.

"It's Shakespeare."

"I know that," James rolled his eyes, "what's special about it?"

"It reminds me of us." Regulus hummed, fiddling with James's fingers.

"You're comparing us to a tragedy?"

"I'd say we are a tragedy," Regulus nodded, "besides, I think it's ironic that we share initials."

"Huh," James frowned, "I wouldn't have noticed that."

Regulus closed his eyes, letting his head settle comfortably in James's lap. "Where'd you tell Peter you were?"

"I told him I had HeadBoy duties," James said, "It wasn't a lie exactly...that's where I'm supposed to be, Lily's covering for me, she owed me one anyways."

"Lily Evans owed you one?" Regulus snorted, "for what?"

"I'm going to her sister's wedding with her," James said, "she couldn't find a date after she got dumped."

"That's nice of you," Regulus hummed.

"I was going to ask you if it was okay, but after everything's that's happened, it didn't seem important."

"Just don't shag her." Regulus opened his eyes, grinning up at James.

"I promise," James laughed, leaning down to kiss Regulus's nose, "where do your friends think you are?"

"Pandora's covering for me."

"Surely she's not going to believe we were shagging the entire train ride?" James laughed.

"No, definitely not," Regulus snorted, "I told her."

"You told her everything?" James asked.

Regulus nodded, "I didn't feel the need to lie...is that okay."

"Yeah, of course it is." James caressed his cheek, "I love you like this."

"Like what?" Regulus peered up at him.

"Calm...relaxed," James said, "you look at peace."

Regulus hummed, letting his eyes flutter shut again, he was dreading their goodbye.

It came quicker than either of them expected, a mumbled 'love you' and a quick kiss before they were separated.

It was a casual 'see you soon', no tears necessary, just how Regulus wanted it. He would never know what he had done to deserve James Potter.

It may have been exactly what Regulus wanted, but it was still bothering James hours later.

He felt like he should've done more...should've said more.

He had been staring at the same page for the last twenty minutes, not even reading a sentence as his worried plagued him.

"Jamie! Dinner!" Effie Potter yelled up the staircase.

"Coming, Mum," James said, marking the page and setting Romeo and Juliet down on his night table.

"What've you been doing up there?" Effie asked as he sat down at the table.

"Just reading," James shrugged, spooning some potatoes on his plate.

"Reading?" Monty laughed, "since when do you read?"

"I've picked it up recently," James said. "I like Shakespeare."

"Shakespeare?" Effie kissed the top of James's head, "look at that. We've got ourselves a scholar."

"It's just books," James blushed.

"What else is new at school?" Monty asked, "have you finally caught Lily's attention?"

"Oh, Lily?" James laughed, "no, it's not like that anymore. Lily and I are friends, that's all."

"Are you now?" Effie asked, finally taking her own seat. "What brought that about?"

"She's HeadGirl, and I'm HeadBoy," James said, "we spend loads of time together, and we're older now. I realized she didn't have the same feelings that I did, so I moved on."

"That's very mature of you," Monty nodded. "You should be proud."

"Thanks, Dad," James grinned.

"So," Effie smirked, "any other romantic pursuits that we should know about."

James paused for a moment, unsure what he wanted to share.

"Actually, yeah," he said slowly. "I'm in a relationship, but I'm not ready to share yet. The boys don't even know yet, so just don't say anything."

His parents looked surprised, but they quickly masked it with a smile.

"Are you happy?" Effie asked.

"Yeah," James grinned, "yeah, I really am."

"Then that's all we need to know," Monty said, "congrats, Son."

And in that moment, James was overwhelming grateful for his parents.

"What's wrong, Jamie?" Effie asked.

"Nothing," James laughed, wiping his eyes, "I just love you guys."

"Oh, Baby," Effie stood up, hugging him tightly, "we love you so so much. Whoever it is that has your heart, is one very lucky girl, and when you're ready, we'd love to meet her."

James looked up and shook his head, "no, Mum."

"What is it?" Monty asked.

"He's a boy." James whispered, "not a girl."

"Oh." Monty said.

"Mum?" James asked nervously.

"Him, then," Effie kissed his cheek, "we can't wait to meet him, right, Monty?"

"Of course," Monty smiled, "whoever and whatever makes you happy, James, that's all that matters."

"Now let's eat," Effie said, "I've made your favorite for desert too, James, Treacle Tart."

"Thanks, Mum," James said, turning back to his plate.

"It's a shame Sirius couldn't come home for you boys' last holiday at school." Monty said.

"Yeah," James nodded. "The full moon falls on Christmas this year, and Remus and his family thought it best he stayed at school. Sirius didn't want to leave him there all by himself."

"Such a thoughtful boy," Effie cooed, "it shocks me everyday that he turned out the way he did."

"Yeah," James didn't feel great about the possible turn this conversation could take, "Sirius is great. You know he's considering being an Auror after school?"

"Is he?" Monty said, "an admirable career, Aurors. What about you?"

"I was considering being an Auror too, actually," James scratched the back of his neck. "But my boyfriend said no. So I'm not really sure what I want to do."

"Well if being an Auror is really what you'd like to do," Effie said, "you can't let anyone tell you no."

"No, it's not like that." James shook his head. "He would support me. I just know the idea of him being in danger makes me feel sick... I wouldn't want to worry him like that. It's not like I had my heart set on it anyways."

"What do you mean?" Monty asked, "is he in danger?"

"It's a complicated situation," James said, "but there's nothing more I can do."

Effie and Monty shared a look but they didn't press any further.

James finished his dinner, helped himself to some Treacle Tart, kissed both his parents and retreated back up the stairs to shower.

It was strange not to have Sirius home with him.

His bedroom was just as he had left it, it hadn't seemed so lifeless since Sirius moved in two years ago.

James closed the door and went to his room to grab a change of clothes.

The warm water felt good on his skin but the solitude was suffocating.

He couldn’t get Regulus off his mind. Not knowing if he was okay was driving him mad.

It had only been a couple hours since they parted…but the amount of things that could've happened in such a short time was what scared James the most.

He didn't know how long he had stood under the water, lost in his head.

But when the screaming started, he nearly tripped, scrambling out of the shower, pulling on just a pair of pants, clutching his wand, running to the stairs.

"Don't touch me!"

Chapter Text

The second Regulus stepped inside 12 Grimmuald Place, he immediately felt like he had made a mistake.

He wished he hadn't come home. He wished he was back with James, he could’ve spent the last couple hours of his life in bliss with the man he loved instead of here.

"Regulus." His mother was waiting by the stairs, "you are to be dressed and in the receiving room at seven o'clock."

Regulus checked his watch, 6:23

"Yes, Mother."

She eyed him up and down, her eyes narrowing as they found a flaw.

"Your hair." She hissed, "it's too long, you'll have to cut it. I'll summon the barber for tomorrow."

"Yes, Mother." Regulus said.

"Very well," Walburga nodded curtly, satisfied. She turned on her heel and strolled away.

Regulus's room was as he left it, and Sirius's door was still closed.

He looked in the mirror.

He liked his hair.

Why was it that every aspect of his life was dictated? Predetermined? It was bullshit.

Everything except James.

Nobody would've ever saw James coming.

He was exclusively Regulus's, his single secret—the only think that made him feel alive, like he was something other than a pawn in his mother's twisted games.

But no. He wasn't a pawn. He wasn't. His mother loved him, right? She had to love him, even if it was just a little…she just didn't know how to show it.

She could never know about James. She wouldn't understand. None of them would.

James was his secret.

And that's exactly how he liked it, his life separated into two personas.

His main one, the one put on display for public eyes, the person he had to become to survive the expectations of a pureblood heir. Cold. Emotionless. Cruel.

The other one was exclusively for James to see, to discover. It was all his dreams, his fears, passions and inspirations. It was the life inside him, all compiled for the eyes of one beautiful boy. His boy.

He turned away from the mirror and to the dress robes laid out on his bed.

It was easy to shut off his emotions as he stood in the foyer greeting terrible people.

He didn't flinch when Bellatrix dug her nails into his shoulder blades as she embraced him.

However, when he locked eyes with Peter Pettigrew strolling through his front door, Regulus wanted blood.

How dare he.

How dare he do that to James.

Peter nodded an acknowledgment his way and Regulus wanted nothing more to wrap his hands around Peter's neck.

He watched him the entire night, his eyes not straying once from Peter Pettigrew. The Gryffindor looked so at peace in the room of snakes. He was smiling, laughing at grotesque stories that made Regulus's stomach churn.

It was disgusting.

But what pissed Regulus off the most was knowing he would be the one that had to tell James. He would have to watch the heartbreak on his face as he told him one of his best friends had joined the other side.

"Shall we move on to the main event?" Walburga grinned as everyone's plates were cleared.

The table cheered and they stood, filing into the room at the bottom of the stairs.

Regulus hung behind, he wasn't allowed in that room, he wasn't allowed to attend the meetings, he preferred it that way.

"Regulus." His father snapped.

Regulus looked at him questioning, "yes? Father?"

"Hurry up now," he gestured to the room, holding the door open.

Regulus's eyes widened.

"Yes, Father."

He sat in the open seat between Bellatrix and his mother.

Snape, Mulciber, and Avery sat across from him, watching Pettigrew with suspicious eyes.

Regulus didn't blame them, they weren't as good at masking yet. They'd learn.

"Welcome, Everyone," Rodolphus Lestrange stood at the head of the table. "Today we will commence the initiation of our two newest recruits."

The group cheered and Rodolphus grinned. "Rabastan, if you will."

Rabastan pulled the door open and two men Regulus didn't recognize was levitating unconscious bodies into the room.

They were set down on the table and Regulus felt sick, they weren't unconscious, they were full body bound, completely aware but unable to move.

"Peter Pettigrew and Regulus Black, join me." Rodolphus said.

Regulus's blood went cold as Bellatrix forced him out of his chair.

No

Rodolphus grabbed his shoulder and held him to his side.

"Before these two gentlemen go before the Dark Lord, they must first prove their loyalties to the cause." Rodolphus announced.

They all cheered once again but Regulus's attention was caught on the unmoving bodies that laid on the table.

"Kill the muggles." Rodolphus ordered.

No.

He was absolutely going to be sick.

Peter raised his wand without hesitation. When he lowered it, the man was dead.

"Regulus." Walburga said expectantly.

Time seemed to slow, he stared at the woman on the table.

She couldn't have been older than twenty, a terrified expression in her eyes. She knew what was happening.

He couldn't kill her. He'd never be able to live with himself if he did. What would he tell James?

For once in your life, be brave.

James's voice echoed in his head.

Regulus wasn't a Gryffindor. He wasn't as strong as Sirius, he wasn't as bold as James.

But he could be? Couldn't he?

He could at least try. It would make James proud. Maybe if he was brave, he would finally feel worthy of James's love.

Maybe was enough.

"No." Regulus gulped, shaking his head, "no. I won't."

The gasps were almost worse than silence.

Regulus's gaze strayed to his father, pleading for him not to demand it be done.

His father met his eye with a stony stare, his lips pressed in a line.

Regulus felt a hand wrap around his arm and drag him out of the room.

"Disgrace."

His mother tossed him to the ground in the drawing room, Bellatrix following behind.

"Disgrace!" She shrieked again, her heel coming into contact with his nose. "Both my sons! Bloodtraitors!"

"Did poor little Reggie feel sorry for the muggle?" Bellatrix cackled, drawing a blade from her waistline.

She stabbed it into the sole of Regulus's foot, dragging it to his heel.

Regulus yelled out in pain, only causing Bellatrix to laugh harder.

He managed to scramble to his feet and took off running through the corridors.

The Floo.

His head spun.

The nearest one was in his father's office, his legs burned, the bottom of his foot sending a stabbing ache with every step he took.

His mother and Bellatrix followed him, sending hexes at his back, but Regulus was always more nimble than them, he was able to move quicker, dodging their curses.

He burst through the door to his father's office.

"The Horcrux is secured, Master, just like the other four. Be assured, My Lord, they are in good hands, I made sure of it myself."

Regulus's heart stopped in his throat as red eyes fell on him, standing frozen in the doorway.

"What do we have here?" His lips turned up in a sickening smirk. "Who are you? Young man?"

"My Lord!" Bellatrix gasped, her and Walburga coming to a halt behind Regulus.

"Please forgive us, My Lord." Walburga shrieked, "Regulus seems to have forgotten his way."

"Regulus Black." Voldemort looked him up and down, patronizingly, "what a beautiful child. I expect you'll make a grand servant of mine, won't you?"

Regulus couldn't form any words.

Bellatrix jabbed her wand into his shoulder.

"Yes." He gasped, "yes, My Lord."

"Leave me." Voldemort seemed satisfied, turning back to the man in-front of him.

Bellatrix and Walburga seized him by the arms, hauling him to an empty room, whispering disgraces into his ear.

They threw him onto the floor, knocking his head on the hardwood.

"Fool!" Walburga shrieked, "you've just met the Dark Lord and you were an absolute fool! Disgrace!"

Bellatrix echoed her insults, spitting them at Regulus with every spell she cast from her wand.

It must've been hours he was laying on the floor, his body being battered again and again with various hexes and weapons.

"You will get back into that room," Walburga warned, her nails drawing blood from Regulus's cheeks as she held his face, "and you will kill that muggle. Understand?"

Regulus could only manage to cough, spitting up blood on his white shirt.

Bellatrix had taken the searing fire poker to his abdomen, stabbing him until he lost consciousness, his senses were blurred, and the room was nothing but a hazy blur.

"Orion!" Walburga's shrieked echoed through the hall, Bellatrix's footsteps following behind.

Regulus gasped as a sharp pain shot through his chest as he tried to inhale, tears stung in his eyes.

He had failed.

They were going to get his father.

The door opened again, but it was only one pair of footsteps, heavier and slower than before.

Regulus turned his head.

It was just his father. Alone.

"Father." Regulus gasped. "Please."

Orion's lip twitched, and he bent to kneel beside his son.

He took his hand and pressed a wand into it.

"Listen to me." He ordered, a frown etched on his lips.

"Please." Regulus sobbed, desperation filling his pleas.

"Regulus." Orion said stiffly. "You will get up. You will run."

Regulus froze.

"You will not stop until you are somewhere safe. You will not return. You are not to contact me or open any letter from me. Do you understand me?"

Regulus stared.

"Regulus Arcturus. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Sir." Regulus sniffed.

Orion nodded and stood, walking back to the door.

"Thank you." Regulus said weakly after him.

Orion paused, his hand on the doorknob.

He did not look back but his head tilted forward in what looked like a nod before pulling the door open.

Regulus struggled to his feet, immediately folding over, vomiting on his feet. The cuts were burning with every step in his loafers. He kicked them off and stumbled through the house, leaving a trail of blood as he went.

The night air was bitter cold and the ground was damp with the remnants of a thunderstorm.

Regulus clutched his middle and in a sad attempt of running, made it to the wards of their property, holding out his wand.

A purple double decker bus appeared from thin air and the doorman was immediately by Regulus's side, helping him up the stairs.

"Saint Mungo's!" He hollered.

"No." Regulus croaked, "17 Barley Lane, Exeter."

"You need a hospital, Mate," the man helped him onto a bed.

"17 Barley Lane," Regulus insisted in a weak groan. "Please."

"Alright then," the doorman eyed him one last time, "17 Barley Lane! Exeter!"

Regulus watched his house disappear and only then did he allow himself to lie back.

His head was spinning and he couldn't concentrate on a single thought passing through his head.

He must've passed out for he was woken gently by the doorman.

"We're at your stop, Mate." He said.

"Cheers." Regulus groaned, pushing himself up to stand.

He had to grab the man's outstretched arm to steady himself before taking a slow step forward. 

"I can't leave the bus," the doorman said apologetically, helping Regulus back down the steps, "Are you sure you can make it on your own?"

"I'll be fine," Regulus coughed.

He mumbled the ward spells and stumbled through the lawn to the front door, practically throwing his body against it as a knock.

The door opened and an older version of James appeared.

"Effie!" He hollered, going to catch Regulus as he fell forward.

Regulus tried his best to steady himself, he was breathing heavily and his lungs felt like they were working against him.

"Please don't touch me," he sobbed, trying to back away from the stranger's arms. "I want James."

"Okay, okay," his voice was soothing, and there was a familiar sound to it, "let's get you inside, I'm going to stand next to you incase you fall, is that okay?"

Regulus nodded, taking shaky steps into the house.

"Can you tell me your name?" He asked.

"Regulus," he coughed, more blood dribbling down his chin, "Regulus Black."

Chapter Text

James flew down the staircase, taking the steps several at a time, his eyes widening as he rounded the bottom.

Regulus was sitting on the couch in his living room.

His Regulus was in his house.

"Regulus, we're just trying to help," Effie said soothingly, "you're going to have to let me see."

"No!" He shook his head frantically, sobbing. "No. Don't touch me. Please. I just want James. Please. I need James."

James was across the room and on his knees in front of the boy in a second, nudging his mother out of the way.

"Hey, Reg." He said, squeezing his knee, "Love, I'm right here. Are you okay? What happened?"

Regulus stared back at him with panicked eyes, an arm tightly secured around his abdomen.

"James?" He sniffed.

"Yes," James smiled, "I'm right here."

With his other hand, Regulus grabbed James's bicep, holding onto him like a lifeline.

"What's wrong?" James asked again, patiently.

Regulus trembled as he slowly removed his arm from where it was wrapped around his waist.

James, Effie, and Monty all gasped in horror to see it was covered in blood, a grueling red stain on his shirt where his arm had been.

A whimpering sob broke from Regulus's lips, "I'm sorry."

"Listen to me, Reg," James locked eyes with him, "this is my Mum, Effie, remember? I told you about her?"

Regulus nodded weakly.

"She's a healer, Reg," James continued, "she can help you, but you have to let her. Understand?"

"Stay with me?" He croaked.

"Of course," James laced their hands together, moving to the side to make room for his mother.

"Ok, Regulus," Effie said grimly, "this is going to sting, I need you to stay still the best you can, okay?"

Regulus nodded.

"Monty, get me my bag," she called over her shoulder, before turning to James, "I need you to get him out of his shirt, hold him still, and keep him conscious."

James nodded, quickly unbuttoning Regulus's white dress shirt that had rich red stains seeping through the satin.

Regulus's fair skin looked like it was mauled, nasty gashes littering his torso.

James discarded the blood stained shirt on the ground before climbing up on the couch to reposition Regulus between his legs, holding him tightly and carefully to his bare chest.

"You're ok, Love," he soothed, resting his chin on Regulus's shoulder, "just breath, yeah?"

Regulus nodded and closed his eyes, letting his head rest on-top James's.

"Tell me that story again," James said as his father came back with his Mum's healer bag.

"Which one?" Regulus mumbled as Effie raised her wand.

"Any of them," James hummed.

"I'll tell you the one about how I met the biggest wanker," Regulus gritted his teeth as Effie began to work.

"Oh yeah," James tried to laugh but it came out as a choked sob, "I think I have an idea how this story goes."

"Do you now?" Regulus said, his hand clamping around James's wrist as he cried out in pain.

"You're doing great, Regulus," Effie said, "nearly halfway."

"Oh, hell," Regulus groaned, burying his face in James's hair.

James murmured encouragement and stupid nothings until Effie put away her wand and declared it over.

"Whoever did that to you didn't hold back," Effie shook her head, "I can't even fathom how you made it all the way here in that condition. Everything was laced with dark magic. I did the best I can, but it'll take a while to fully heal."

"It was my family," Regulus groaned, "my mother and my psychotic cousin. I took the Knight Bus here."

"Just like Sirius," Effie frowned, "you poor things, let's get you upstairs to rest now. Monty, can you make sure Sirius's room is prepared."

"No need, Mum," James shook his head, "he can stay with me."

"Of course, Darling," Effie smiled, "do you need help getting him up the steps?"

"No," James shook his head, moving Regulus into his arms, "I got him."

"I can walk," Regulus protested.

James just rolled his eyes, "I'll be right back, Mum, Dad."

"This is mortifying." Regulus said as James carried him bridal-style to his bed.

"You love it, Babe," James teased, pushing his bedroom door open.

He placed Regulus down on his bed, crossing over to his dresser to get him new clothes.

"They'll be a little big," James said apologetically.

"That's fine," Regulus said, "you'll have to help me though."

James nodded.

Regulus didn't have any shoes on, the bottoms of his feet were red and torn up, a long cut from his heel to the middle of his foot.

"What happened? Did you run barefoot?" James whispered.

Regulus nodded, "I had socks on but they got all wet and torn."

James nodded, covering them with a pair of socks. "Shorts or pants?"

"I just want a shirt and a pair of boxers." Regulus yawned, struggling to keep his eyes open.

The adrenaline rush was wearing off and he was just exhausted.

His whole body ached and sleep threatened every blink.

He hardly even acknowledged James fingers undoing the button on his trousers, pulling them off his legs.

"Reg." He cringed at the purple welts down his thighs. "Merlin, what did they do to you?"

"It's over," Regulus said, "it doesn't matter."

"What about your vows?" James's voice was weaker than before.

Regulus looked up, James's hands were shaking and his face was deathly pale. "Did you go against them?"

"My father told me to leave." Regulus said. "He told me to run and never go back."

"He let you go?" James asked.

"He let me go." Regulus tried a smile to ease the older boy's worry.

James didn't say anything else as he helped him into a new pair of boxers and pulled a shirt carefully over his bandaged chest.

"Hold on," James said once he was done, disappearing for a second, he came back with a wet washcloth, sitting down on the bed, maneuvering Regulus head so it laid in his lap. "You're covered in blood."

Regulus closed his eyes as James gently ran the wet cloth over his skin.

Once he was satisfied, he set down the cloth and kissed Regulus's damp forehead. "I'm going to go say goodnight to my parents," James whispered, "I'll be right back."

"Hurry," Regulus whined as James moved his head back onto a pillow.

"Promise," James said, rushing back down the staircase.

His parents were still in the living room, looking grim as they spoke in hushed voices.

"So," James said awkwardly, "the mystery didn't last long at all I suppose. Uhm....suprise?"

"Sirius doesn't know?" Effie asked.

James shook his head.

"He's going to kill you," she said plainly.

"I know," James cringed, "I don't know how to tell him."

"Well I'd make sure he hears it from you before it gets out some other way." Monty said. "How'd this relationship even happen?"

"It just did?" James said dumbly, "I don't know, Dad, we just kind of clicked."

"Just make sure you know what you're doing," Monty said, "if you don't play your cards right, you might lose them both."

"Yes, Sir." James nodded.

"Here, Love," Effie handed him a tray, "have him drink these potions. I cut a piece of treacle tart, you don't want to take them on an empty stomach."

"Alright," James took the tray, "thanks Mum."

"Goodnight, Jamie," she smiled, "I hope he feels better."

"Goodnight," Monty said.

"Night," James said, climbing back up the stairs.

Regulus was in the same position he was when James had left.

"It hurts too much to move," he grunted when he saw James's face.

"Fair enough," James placed the trey down and helped him sit up, "here, eat this and then take the potions."

"What are they?" Regulus asked, making a face as he brought the potions to his nose.

"Dunno, my Mum gave them to me," James said, "I promise they're not poison or anything."

"Ha ha," Regulus said dryly, "James, you're the funniest person in the whole entire world."

"It's the sarcasm that stings," James pouted.

"This is really good," Regulus said as he ate the Treacle Tart. "Did your mother make this?"

"Yeah," James nodded proudly, "she's great at baking, cooking, basically everything and anything."

Regulus nodded, finishing the pasty before downing the three potions.

"I saw him." He whispered. "He was in my house."

James froze. "Reg—"

Regulus shook his head, a tear falling down his cheek, "I can't talk about it," he choked out, "not yet. Can we just go to sleep? Please."

He was desperate, practically begging, and even though James looked like he wanted to press, he gave in.

"Yeah, 'course," James said, he grabbed a shirt and pulled it over his head.

"Don't you dare." Regulus said quickly, wiping at his eyes.

James froze, "what?"

"I just ran away from home," Regulus said as if James's question was personally offensive. "The least you can do is keep your shirt off."

"Alright then," James laughed although it was strained, "as you wish then."

"Your pants too," Regulus eyed James's torso hungrily.

"Can I keep my boxers on?" James asked, stepping out of his pants.

"Oh, you must," Regulus nodded.

James raised an eyebrow.

"I simply don't have the energy to get fucked senseless at the moment," Regulus sniffed, "so keep your boxers and come cuddle me."

James rolled his eyes, tossing his pants aside and turning out the lights.

He settled under his covers and his personal space was immediately breached as Regulus backed his bum into his pelvis.

James let out a frustrated groan, "really? Reg?"

"My bad," Regulus smirked. He groaned as he slowly rolled over to wrap his arms around James's neck.

"I'm really happy you're here, you know that?" James whispered. "I'm so proud of you."

Regulus attached their lips and they kissed slowly and passionately.

"You'll tell me what happened tomorrow?" James asked as he pulled away.

"Mhm," Regulus nodded, finding his lips again. "I love you."

"I love you," James grinned, holding his waist tightly.

Chapter Text

Regulus was asleep in seconds, but James couldn't bear to close his eyes.

Worry consumed him watching the other boy, he looked plagued with pain even in his sleep.

His skin was covered in gashes that were only half healed and it was killing James to know there was nothing more he could do than simply hold him.

Hours later, as the sun was rising on the horizon there was a knock on James's door.

He untangled himself from Regulus and pulled on a pair of pants before opening the door.

"Morning, Love," his mother smiled up at him, "how is he?"

"Morning, Mum," James yawned, opening the door wider for her to come inside, "he's been sleeping. But his skin is battered. Look at his feet." He carefully lifted the blankets to show her, "it looks like he was stabbed."

"Poor thing," Effie frowned, "we have to change his bandages, and he needs to take more potions."

"Ok," James nodded, "I'll wake him."

"Be gentle," Effie warned.

"I know," James said, putting a hand on Regulus's shoulder.

"Reg?" He whispered, shaking him slightly.

Regulus groaned and rolled over, burying his head in the pillow.

"Not a morning person," James mumbled over his shoulder.

"I can see that," Effie laughed.

"Come on, Reg," James tried again.

"James Potter. I am not getting up to go for a fly," Regulus grunted, shoving his hand away.

Effie broke out in hysterical laughter as James flushed furiously.

"No, Reg, we have to change your bandages, come on, sit up."

Regulus turned his head, squinting at James and Effie.

"Oh." He blushed, "sorry."

"That's quite alright," Effie chuckled as James helped him sit up against the headboard, "not everyone is a morning person like Jamie, he gets it from me I'm afraid."

"Mum." James groaned.

"Just making some conversation," Effie smirked, patting his cheek, "Regulus, is it alright if I change your bandages?"

"Yes, Ma'am," he nodded, turning to James to help him with his shirt.

"You can call me Effie," she smiled sweetly, "James, do you want to get me a wet cloth and some antiseptic?"

"Sure," James said, rushing away.

"He's a good boy," Effie smiled, sitting on the corner of the bed, rummaging through her bag.

"He is," Regulus agreed.

"You know we're so happy to have you here, Darling," she said sincerely, "this can be your home for as long as you wish it to be, we won't let you go back to that wretched house, I promise."

"I really appreciate that," Regulus said, "but I don't want to infringe on my brother."

"Sirius?" Effie laughed, "Love, don't you ever worry about him. He may have an odd way of showing it but that boy loves you, there hasn't been a single week go by without him asking if we could go and bring you home. It'll take him some time to warm up to the idea of you and James, but he'll come around, I guarantee it."

Regulus was shocked. "He talked about me?"

"Everyday," Effie nodded, "you're his baby brother, Regulus, of course he cares for you."

'Oh' was the only word Regulus could manage and they sat in silence until James returned.

"Here," he said proudly, handing his mother supplies.

"Thank you," Effie said, "help with the bandages? Yeah?"

James nodded, gently unwrapping the gauze secured around Regulus's middle.

"What caused this?" Effie asked, dabbing antiseptic, "they look like puncture wounds."

"Fire poker," Regulus tried not to cringe as the alcohol burned.

"A fire poker!" James near-shouted, appalled.

Regulus nodded.

"I don't think I can communicate the disdain I have for that wench," Effie frowned, "now listen, we will follow your lead on this, you can press charges if you wish, however, the ministry is corrupt as you are probably aware and it may not be the best idea to reveal your location. However you'll have our unconditional support no matter what you chose."

"Thank you."

It didn't take long for Effie to replace his bandages and heal what injuries they had missed the night before, and Regulus felt loads better once it was over and he had taken a few potions.

"Did you sleep at all?" Regulus asked, tracing the bags under James's eyes once Effie had left.

"A little," James lied.

Regulus gave him a look.

"I really did!" James tried again.

"I don't believe you," Regulus crossed his arms. "Have I ever said you're a horrible liar?"

"Piss off," James groaned, falling back on the bed.

"Get some sleep," Regulus yawned, curling into James's side, "I'm okay."

"I'm glad," James whispered, kissing the top of his head, letting his eyes close.

The silence was nice, Regulus warm against his side, it was comforting and James's nerves were relaxing with every breath the Slytherin took.

"That's not sleeping," Regulus mumbled minutes later.

"How can you even tell?" James astonished.

"You sleep on your side." Regulus said, "never your back."

"I'll sleep later," James said, "what happened last night?"

Regulus tensed.

"Reg?" James tried, sitting up.

"You're not going to like it," Regulus said, sitting across from him on the bed.

"It's okay," James assured, grabbing hold of his hand, "anything you did you had to do to survive, it's okay, I'm not going to saying anything."

"No," Regulus tightened his grip on James's hand, "not me, James, Peter was there."

"Peter?" James's face fell, "Peter who?"

"Pettigrew," Regulus said solemnly, "Peter Pettigrew, James, I'm so sorry."

"No." James dropped his hand. "No."

"I'm so—"

"No!" James yelled, grabbing at his head. He stood up and began to pace, laughing maniacally, "no, this is all a joke, see, a prank!"

"No, James, he was there."

"No. Regulus. He couldn't have been, he's in Australia with his family."

"He's one of them."

"No!" James threw the book from his nightstand against the wall, "no! Stop saying that! He's—he's not. Peter is not one of them. Maybe he's a spy? That makes sense, right?"

He was pulling at his hair, his hands shaking.

"James!" Regulus stood and limped over to him, seizing his wrists, gently pulling them away from his head.

"He's a spy." James whimpered, "right?"

"He killed someone." Regulus said, "he is one of them."

James fell to his knees, sobbing and Regulus went down with him, holding the boy to his chest.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, running a hand through his hair as he cried.

"How could he?" James coughed, struggling to catch a breath. "We've been best mates since we were kids. How could he?"

"I don't know." Regulus whimpered, "I'm sorry."

"So it's been fake this whole time?" James's voice cracked. "All seven years?"

"You don't know that."

"I do." James said, "if it was true—if he was our friend, he never would've done this."

"People will do anything if they're scared," Regulus soothed, ignoring the  lump in his throat, "I'm sure it has nothing to do with you, Love."

"It has to be my fault." James sobbed, "I could've—I could've tried harder. I could've been a better friend."

"None of this is your fault, James!" Regulus said. "Don't you even think that. You will not take responsibility for his cowardice."

"I should've known."

"You couldn't have." Regulus said firmly, wiping the tears from James's face. "You've got Remus, and Sirius. You've got your parents, and you've got me. Peter Pettigrew is not worth your tears."

"He's my best friend."

"I know." Regulus kissed his face, "what can I do to make it better?"

James shook his head, holding Regulus gently around his waist, "just stay with me please."

"Of course." Regulus smiled.

James didn't ask about his meeting with Voldemort and Regulus was relieved.

Red eyes still haunted him every time he closed his eyes, he didn't even know how to talk about it if James were to ask.

But something else besides Voldemort's terrifying presence stuck with him.

What the fuck were Horcruxs?

Chapter Text

Regulus and James remained in bed for the entirety of the day. James breaking down into tears or dwelling silently in the burn of betrayal—Regulus aching as he watched, not knowing how else to help.

"What happened?" Effie asked when Regulus had finally coaxed James go take a shower.

"Peter Pettigrew was there last night." Regulus said, "he's switched sides."

Effie gasped. "Peter Pettigrew? That sweet little thing? I've known him since he was small—oh this is terrible."

Regulus nodded. "I'm sure you know how James is about his friends. This is  killing him and I don't know what to do."

"There's nothing you can do, Hon," Effie smiled sadly. "This is one of those things he's going to have to work through on his own. You can be there to support him but you can't fix it. He'll have to do that himself."

Regulus nodded but the sinking feeling wasn't going away.

"Mrs. Potter?" Regulus said quietly.

"Effie." She corrected, but nodded for him to continue.

"Thank you." Regulus said. "For everything you've done for me—and everything you've done for my brother. I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you for your kindness."

"You make my son smile in a way I've never seen before," Effie said. "That is repayment enough, knowing that James loves someone and has someone who loves him—it is more than enough, Regulus. I am grateful for you, and for your brother. Sirius is my child, and soon enough you will be too I reckon. You never need to feel indebted to me."

He didn't know what else to say, but she seemed to understand, squeezing his hand comfortingly.

It almost made him want to cry. The gesture was so simple—yet, he had never experienced affection in that way, so comforting and maternal.

"Let's change your bandages," she said with a smile, bringing out her bag, "while we have a minute without Jamie underfoot, I love him to death but he's a little overbearing sometimes—I'm sure you know that better than most."

Regulus snorted, "you can say that. It's nice though, having someone who cares so much about everything."

"He'll get through this." Effie said confidently, "he loved Peter like a brother, it'll likely always hurt, but he'll get through it."

Regulus nodded, letting her gently replace his bandages.

"You're welcome to come down, you know." She said after a few minutes, "even if Jamie isn't feeling up to it, you're welcome to roam freely. What's ours is yours now, and if you need anything at all, just shout."

She smiled at him and patted his knee gently before packing her things away, "we've got a lovely garden, if you're feeling up to it, I think fresh air will do wonders for the two of you."

"I'll see how James is feeling," Regulus smiled shallowly.

She nodded and left, closing the door quietly behind her.

Regulus took his time, carefully climbing to his feet.

He limped to the bathroom leaned against the door and knocked, "James, Love? Are you alright?"

When he pressed his ear against the door all he could hear was the running water.

"I'm coming in." Regulus warned, placing his hand on the doorknob, glad to find it was unlocked.

He was met with a wall of steam as the door opened and coughed as it burned his nostrils.

James was sitting curled in a ball on the floor of the shower.

Regulus didn't say anything, he did even bother taking off his clothes as he opened the shower door and climbed inside.

James didn't even look up as Regulus sat beside him, the side of their bodies pressed together in the cramped space.

The water had gone cold...Regulus's hair stuck to his forehead and his clothes cling to his skin.

He closed his eyes and tipped his head back, allowing the water to hit his face.

James lifted his head from his knees and let it drop on Regulus's shoulder.

"Have I ever told you about the time Sirius convinced me our Nonna Irma was haunting me?" Regulus whispered.

A beat of silence passed before

'no'

"Sirius and I were raised in Nice, a town in France right by the water...we didn't move to London until my grandfather—my father's father that is—passed away and my father inherited 12 Grimmuald, I was eight. My Nonna Irma was my mother's mother, she lived in Venice. Every June, Sirius and I would take the thirteen hour train ride from France to Italy to spend three months with her. Nonna was...Merlin, James, Nonna was proper mad...proper mad. She'd sing O Sole Mio while twirling us around the kitchen, let us eat bombolone for dinner, take us out on a gondola rides—I even worked as a gondolier one summer—all of my best memories were in Venice."

He took a deep breath.

"I don't even reckon I needed the sweets, the singing or even the playing, I reckon I just loved being loved. It still baffles me that my Nonna raised my mother. Nonna would pinch out cheeks, stuff our mouths with food, squeeze us so tightly and kiss our heads every single night, I don't know how anyone can turn out so rotten when they were raised with such affection." 

"Your Nonna sounds wonderful." James sniffed.

Regulus smiled and nodded, "she was."

He reached back and turned off the water, getting to his feet to fetch a towel.

"We stopped going to Venice when I moved." Regulus said, "my mother cut any contact we had with my Nonna once we got to London. I never saw her again."

He wrapped James in the towel before pulling another one around himself.

"Where did you put your glasses?" Regulus asked, scanning the room, "ah—there they are."

"Thanks," James said as Regulus handed him the frames.

"I was devastated when the next June, I learned we weren't going to Venice," Regulus sighed, "I think Sirius and I cried for a week straight...but at least we still had each other."

"But then he left." James whispered.

"But then he left," Regulus offered a sad smile, "and when he got back that summer, he walked into the drawing room not even a day later to find Nonna had faded to grey on the tapestry, we—" Regulus's voice cracked, "we didn't even get to say goodbye."

James reached out and grabbed his hand.

"The night I found out Nonna had passed, I woke up in the dead of the night to O Sole Mio being played on the pianoforte and a plate of bombolone on my nightstand."

"Was it Sirius?" A small grin grew on James's face.

"Of course it was Sirius," Regulus chuckled, "his way of cheering me up...but eleven year old me was so convinced that it was my Nonna from beyond the grave. I was so happy and Sirius just went along with it, playing little tricks that had me dead set that it was her."

"So how'd you know it was him?" James asked.

"My mother caught him a couple weeks later and he got...punished."

"Oh." James's face fell.

"Yeah..." Regulus frowned, "somehow I remember that story being much happier than it came across, I'm sorry it was meant to cheer you up."

"I think you did a pretty good job," James sniffed, pulling him into a hug, "thank you."

"Hold on!" Regulus pulled back. "There's more to this story."

"Oh?" James raised an eyebrow.

"I was fifteen." Regulus said, "fourth year, Binns had assigned an essay on a famous court case from the last century."

"I remember that assignment!" James said, "I did mine on that quidditch player who used the international travel to smuggle contraband—I forget her name though."

"Claudia McKinsky," Regulus supplied.

"Yep!" James snapped his fingers, "that's her, I remember it now, chaser for the Tornados."

"Anyways," Regulus rolled his eyes fondly, "when I was looking for a trial to research I came across one about a witch who killed her husband, then three members of the Wizengamot when they found her guilty of the killing of said husband. Escaping and fleeing to Italy—the only country in Europe where they have shady extradition laws and that she didn't have a travel ban instilled—taking her children and her husband's fortune with her."

James gasped, "Nonna? No!"

"Nonna yes." Regulus shook his head with a laugh, "you can imagine my suprise when I read that! Who knew? She went back to Venice where she was raised and she stayed there until she died, single and rich."

"Holy blundering shite." James breathed, "good for Nonna."

Chapter Text

After the first day, James got better.

After the second day, Regulus got worse.

"What's wrong?" James stressed, pressing the back of his palm to Regulus's forehead. "Mum, what's wrong with him?"

"I don't know, Love," Effie said, "I'm trying."

Regulus's skin was covered in a sheer layer of sweat, his eyes twitching under eyelids that wouldn't open.

He begun to seize on the ground before his body went limp.

"He's had a heart attack," Effie declared, her eyes widening with a panic as she desperately searched for a pulse.

"Mum!" James cried, "Mum! Is he okay? What happened? Mum?"

"James. I need you to get your father. Now." She said as she began chest compressions.

"What?"

"Now! James!" She yelled.

James cringed as he heard Regulus's ribs crack under the force, he was frozen in place, unable to move.

"Fleamont!" Effie shrieked, "Monty! Hurry! Fleamont!"

She leaned over and plugged Regulus's nose, blowing air into his lungs.

James watched his chest rise and fall, he couldn't drag his eyes away.

He heard his father's footsteps running up the staircase.

James felt utterly helpless.

Monty rushed in, falling to his knees besides the unconscious boy, taking over chest compressions while Effie took on rescue breaths.

"Jamie," Euphemia looked up, "go into the hallway Love."

"I don't want to leave him." James protested, the words quietly slipping from his lips.

"I know," she said, wiping her eyes, "but I need you to go wait. I can't help Regulus if I'm worrying about you."

James stayed where he was standing, his eyes unmoving from where they were focused on Regulus.

"Go. Now, James." Effie said, "if anything happens you'll be right there. You can even leave the door open."

Finally, he nodded, stepping away from the carpet.

He sat in the doorway alone for hours while his parents moved around Regulus in a panic that caused an agility much unlike that of their age.

Every once in a while, one of his parents would rush out of the room to gather potions or supplies, patting James's cheek as they passed or pulling him into a quick embrace.

"He's stable." Monty declared long after the sun had sunk under the horizon line, "come, James, help me move him to the bed."

"What happened?" James asked.

"Dark magic in his blood," Monty said grimly, "caused a block in his arteries."

"Mum said he had a heart attack?" James whispered.

Monty nodded stiffly, "Regulus went into cardiogenic shock. He's lucky you were with him when it happened...if we hadn't gotten to him when we did he would've suffered severe brain damage or might've not made it at all."

"Why hasn't he woken up yet?" James asked, blinking back tears from his eyes.

"We don't know when he'll wake up," Effie said, "and we won't know how much pain he'll be in when he does."

"I believe I dispelled the dark magic from his blood," Fleamont said, "however, if I missed even the smallest amount, Regulus is at a great risk of this happening again, we must keep a constant watch on him."

"He's going to have to stay here for an extended break," Effie sighed, "he won't be able to go back to Hogwarts that soon, it'll take at least four weeks if we're lucky."

James frowned, it was December nineteenth, they were due back at school on the third of January.

"We'll miss two weeks of classes," James calculated, "it shouldn't be too bad...classes after the breaks don't pick up completely until February."

"He'll be missing at least two weeks of school," Monty said firmly, "you are perfectly well, James, there is no reason for you to stay."

James gawked at him.

"I can't—Dad! I can't just leave him!"

"We're not discussing this now." Effie held up her hand, looking utterly exhausted. "I am going to make something to eat, Monty, why don't you take a shower, James, you can stay here and watch over Regulus...if you tap this—"

She tapped a band that she had placed around Regulus's wrists.

"—it will project his vitals just like this...if any of them drop into red, you come get me immediately, understand?"

"Yes ma'am," James nodded.

"Okay," she kissed his forehead, "I'll bring up supper for you. I love you Darling."

"Thanks, Mum," he sunk into her embrace, "for everything."

She smiled and ruffled his curls before grabbing her husband's hand, leading him out of the room.

James sat perfectly still on top the covers of his bed, holding Regulus's clammy hand between his.

He didn't move to eat the food his mother had brought him.

He stayed awake the entire night, watching Regulus's chest rise and fall with every breath...something it was not doing just hours ago.

Every hour, one of his parents came in to check on them and administer more potions to Regulus through the iv in his arm.

The sun rose over the horizon and around noon, and Regulus stirred.

James knew he was awake before Regulus's eyes opened.

"You've been quite accident prone this year, Babe," James joked, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice.

Regulus groaned, "everything hurts."

"I know," James whispered, "but you're okay."

"What happened?" Regulus tried to sit up but cried in pain and gave up, laying still on his back.

"You had a heart attack." James said, "then went in cardiogenic shock, my parents had to do cpr, you have several broken ribs."

"Oh, brilliant." Regulus breathed.

"Yeah, they said they couldn't mend them until you were conscious," James said apologetically, "I'll go get them now."

"Please." Regulus whimpered.

James rushed to the door and called for his parents.

His mother came rushing up the stairs a moment later.

"He's awake," James said.

"Oh, good," Effie breathed, hurrying into the room, "Regulus, darling, thank Merlin."

"Hi, Mrs. Potter," Regulus slurred, "thanks for not letting me die."

"Of course," Effie smiled, brushing the hair off his forehead. "How're you feeling?"

"Like I've ingested a broomstick and it's trying to burst through my rib cage," Regulus joked.

"I can imagine," Effie smiled sympathetically, "let's get that fixed for you, yeah?"

"I can imagine this is just how you wished to spend your holidays," Regulus said bitterly.

"Spot on," Effie smiled, reciting healing spells over his chest.

"Thank you," Regulus said as the pain in his chest weakened.

James helped him sit up against the headboard while Effie left to get him something to eat.

"Hopefully the worst is past now," James said, resting back beside him.

"Doubtful," Regulus said, leaning against James's side, "we still have to tell Sirius."

James groaned, "when will we catch a break."

"We're Romeo and Juliet, remember?" Regulus mumbled, "a destined tragedy."

Chapter Text

James's holiday break was spent tending to Regulus's sickbed...and he wouldn't want it any other way.

His breaths were wheezy, his steps wobbly and his skin sallow.

But even sick, he was a sarcastic arse.

"James this water is lukewarm." Regulus complained, "I said I wanted ice water, not bloody room temp."

"Sorry, sorry," James said, taking the glass and tapping his wand to it to remedy the situation, "here you are."

Regulus took a sip, "better. I'm hungry."

"What do you want to eat?"

"Bombolone."

"Reg, I don't even know what bombolone is," James chuckled.

"Well you'll have to figure it out sooner or later." Regulus said, "consider this sooner."

"Fine," James said, "you'll have to come down and sit with me then, I'm not leaving you up here alone."

"Help me up?" Regulus asked.

James scooped him up into his arms.

"Not what I meant but I suppose this'll do," Regulus mused, wrapping his arms around James's neck.

The days before Christmas passed in a similar fashion. 

Regulus's mornings were the best, by night he was weak and sick, unable to fall asleep until the early morning hours.

Regulus experienced his first of hopefully many Potter Christmas's.

Effie made her infamous treacle tart, James and Regulus sat outside, bundled in coats in blankets, hot chocolate between their frozen fingers as the snow fell around them.

"This is nice," Regulus sighed, settling himself practically on top of James's lap, savoring his body warmth.

"We're just avoiding my parents and you know it." James said.

Regulus groaned, "don't bring it up, I'm mortified."

"You can't be more embarrassed than me," James shuddered. "I never want my mother to mention my sex life ever again."

Only a couple hours prior, Effie had sat down with the young couple to inform them that their 'sexual intimacies would have to be put on hold for four weeks'.

Mortifying.

"Boys! Inside!" Effie appeared in the back door as id they had just summoned her. "I told you Regulus can't be out in the cold for too long!"

"We've only been out here five minutes!" James protested.

"In." She demanded, "you two can sit by the fire and get warm."

"Two more minutes?" James asked.

"That's it," Effie warned, "if you're not on the couch in two minutes I'll drag you inside by the ear."

"Yes ma'am." James nodded, "thank you."

The door shut and James turned back to Regulus who was flushed pink. He couldn't tell if it was from the cold or Effie catching him on her son's lap.

"How're you feeling?" James hooked his chin on Regulus's shoulder.

"Fine, tired." Regulus said, taking a sip of his cocoa, "thank you."

"For what?"

"Putting up with me," Regulus smiled, tracing his fingers across James's cheek, "you've been so good to me."

James turned his head and kissed Regulus's fingers, "come on," he whispered, "let's go in."

James helped him up and Regulus limped to the house, using James to keep balance.

It was a quiet Christmas Eve and Regulus developed a cough right after dinner, resulting in the pair retiring to bed early.

James woke up with his face buried in Regulus's curls and a smile.

He tightened his hold on Regulus's waist, breathing in deeply.

Regulus stirred, grabbing James's hand, pulling it to his chest.

"Goodmorning." James kissed his shoulder. "Happy Christmas."

"Morning." Regulus yawned, snuggling into James's hold.

He sneezed and James sat up abruptly.

"You alright?"

"Yeah," Regulus sat up as well, "do you mind getting me a potion please?"

"For what?" James asked, already getting out of the bed.

"My chest and my head," Regulus sighed, "thank you."

"Of course," James was gone and back within the minute, they had begun keeping the potions in his bathroom with the frequency that Regulus needed them.

"Here," James's handed him the potions as well as a perfectly wrapped box.

"I thought we agreed on no presents." Regulus groaned, drinking the potions quickly.

"Oh, shut it." James smiled, "I know you got me something too."

"There's no way you could've known that." Regulus frowned.

"Sure there is." James said. "You're predictable."

Regulus gasped. "Am not!"

"It's alright, Love," he laughed, "just open it please."

"I hate you," Regulus grumbled, undoing the folds of the paper.

"No, you're doing it wrong." James corrected, "you have to rip it."

"Rip it?" Regulus frowned.

"Yes! Rip it." He encouraged.

Regulus gave him a hesitant look.

"Oh, come on, just do it."

Regulus laughed, tearing the paper off the box. He lifted the lid and pulled out a chunky, royal blue knitted sweater.

"I made it," James grinned, "it's got a warming charm, I figured since you're always so cold and I can't always be there, you can wear it."

Regulus smiled, leaning over to kiss James's lips, "I love it. Thank you." 

"You're welcome," James laughed, "Happy Christmas, Love."

"Go get your cloak." Regulus said.

James raised an eyebrow.

"Not for that!" Regulus smacked his arm, "honestly, James, get your head out of the gutter, we can't do that for weeks if you don't remember."

"Fine, fine," James laughed, reaching over to his trunk.

"Check the pocket," Regulus said.

He pulled out a small box.

"I'm sorry, I'm no good at wrapping," Regulus frowned. "But I figured you would've found my gift close to Christmas if I hid it in the cloak."

Inside the box was a gold plated, polished wood ring, the inside in-scripted in Regulus's flawless lettering.

Ti amo

James's eyes widened, "Reg—is this? Are you?"

"Sort of, yeah." Regulus smiled shyly, "why is it too soon?"

"No, no, it's perfect," James grinned, kissing him fiercely, "I love you so much."

"You'll marry me then?" Regulus grinned.

"I already swore to, didn't I?" James smiled, "I'd never break a promise to you mio amour."

"Sarai mio marito?" Regulus let the Gryffindor engulf him in his arms as he pulled him into his lap.

"What does that mean?" James laughed.

"Will you be my husband?"

"Sí." James kissed him as Regulus put the ring on his finger. "Do you have a ring?"

Regulus shook his head, "not yet."

"Here," James's lifted his wand and duplicated the ring, placing the other one on Regulus's finger.

"Grazie."

Regulus settled back in James's chest, sighing contently. "I was worried you'd think it was too fast."

"Maybe." James hummed, "but not with you."

"Do you like it?" Regulus asked.

"Love it."

Chapter Text

James ran a hand nervously through his hair, pacing back into the bedroom.

He was due to leave for Lily's in five minutes, but Regulus had developed a head cold that was putting a stint in his recovery.

"What is it now?" Regulus coughed.

"I'm not going." James shook his head, sitting down on the foot of his bed.

"Yes you are." Regulus said, "and you're going to be late if you don't leave now."

"What if something happens when I'm gone? Or what if you need anything?"

"Your parents will be home the whole time you are gone, Love." Regulus said patiently, the bags under his eyes making his skin appear paler than it actually was, "and they're more than capable."

"I still don't feel right about leaving you," James grabbed his hand, "I'll just call and tell Lily I can't make it."

"I'll be fine, James." Regulus brought his hand to his lips, "I promise. You cannot call Lily ten minutes before you're supposed to be there to tell her you're not coming. You'll leave her stranded looking very pathetic."

A knot formed in James's throat. "You'll call me if anything happens? You have the numbers I gave you to connect the tellaphonie to Lily's tellaphonie?"

Regulus snorted, "yes, Dear."

"Okay." James kissed him, "I'm not staying the night, I'll come straight home."

"Stay the night." Regulus said, straightening James's bowtie, "I don't want you trying to apparate home if you've been drinking."

"I won't drink." James said. "I love you."

"I love you, have fun."

James kissed him one more time before leaving, anxiety making him feel dizzy as he descended the staircase into the sitting room.

"He'll be okay, Doll," Effie hugged him as tears started to pool in his eyes, "I promise, and I'll call you if any little thing happens and you can come straight home."

"Okay," James sniffed, "you promise?"

"I promise baby," she soothed, wiping his face, "now go have fun."

She pressed a bouquet of daisies in his hand and practically pushed him out the door.

James took a deep breath, collecting himself before apparating to Lily's.

He straightened his suit, knocking on the front door.

"Hey!" Lily swung the door open, "thank god you're here, everyone's driving me mad, come in."

"Thanks," James said, handing her the bouquet of flowers, "these are for you."

"You didn't have to get me flowers!" She smiled, taking them, "thank you."

"Of course," James said.

"Hey? Are you alright?" Lily frowned, "your eyes are all red."

James looked away quickly, clearing his throat, "yeah—yeah, I'm fine—hard couple days is all. You look pretty."

She was wearing a blush pink dress and her hair was tied back in an updo.

"Don't deflect James Potter." She scowled, "what's happened?"

"Nothing, promise." James smiled.

"Okay." She gave him a suspicious once over, but let the topic drop. "How was your Christmas?"

"Good." James said, "you?"

"Hectic," Lily sighed, "it's been wedding central here since I've got home, everyone's in Tuney's room right now helping her get ready, it's absolute hell in there. Her friends might be even worse than she is—but now that you're here, I have an excuse to duck out. Come on, I'll show you my room."

James followed her up the stairs, passing tons of family photos all hung on the walls. The same two girls were present in every photo.

Lily—with her flaming red hair, green eyes and bright smile, and another girl that James could only believe to be her sister. Looking at the photos, he couldn't help but feel a little sorry for Petunia Evans. Lily was gorgeous, even when she was younger she was pretty, Petunia however....

She had dull, thin blonde hair, a long, thin pale face with sunken features, an unattractive sneer and large, crooked teeth.

She was not all that pretty. Not like her sister at least—Lily who was so vibrant beside her, so full of life.

He drew his gaze away from the photos and continued up the stairs after Lily.

She pushed her bedroom door open and pulled him inside.

It was various shades of blue, resembling more a room of a preteen than a young adult.

"It's childish, I know." Lily said after watching his expression, "I haven't changed it since I was eleven—I'm not home much anymore anyways, not since Hogwarts."

James nodded, sitting down on the foot of Lily's bed as she tried to fasten a pearl necklace around her neck.

"Help me? Will you?" She asked, coming over to stand infront of him.

James nodded, even though she couldn't see him with her back turned and fastened the clasp.

"Cheers." Lily smiled over her shoulder, "come on, Potter, if you're not going to tell me what's wrong, the least you could do is pretend that you're not absolutely miserable being here."

"You're right," James took a breath, "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Lily shook her head, "you're the one doing me a favor, if you want to be miserable...by all means..."

"You're a pain in the arse," a smirk found its way to James's lips, "can never let anyone mope in peace."

Lily stuck out her tongue, "if anyone should be moping, it should be me, this color does nothing for my complexion."

"I think you look lovely."

"You're just saying that because you're entailed to."

"I am not."

"It's okay, James! I'm teasing," Lily laughed, "everyone knows gingers don't look good in pink."

"It does look rather dashing with your eyes?" James tried.

"Thank you." Lily's voice was soft, "come on, I hear the girls downstairs, they must be leaving for the church."

James nodded and stood, following her back down the stairs past the hall of photos.

Lily's sister was a horse—don't be mistaken, he was not talking about her weight—James potter would never speak in such a manner.

Petunia Evans, soon to be Dursley, very closely resembled a horse, a white one of that with her wedding gown drowning her in frills.

Her hair was pulled into a tight bun (one that could've given McGonagall's a run for it's money) and all it succeed in doing was making her unnaturally long neck and pointy chin that much more prominent.

"Lily?" Petunia sneered, glancing James up and down. "Who is this."

"This is James," Lily smiled, wrapping her arms around his, "James Potter...remember? I've told you about him."

"Pleasure," James smiled, "congratulations, Vernon is very lucky."

Petunia scoffed and rolled her eyes, "there is not enough room in the cars for the two of you...you'll have to walk."

"Petunia!" Lily gasped, "it is a mile away and you've made me wear these ridiculous heels!"

"Well I can't make any of the girls walk," Petunia said, "it would be unfounded of me, they are my guests."

"James is a guest." Lily crossed her arms.

"Your guest." Petunia gave a little laugh, "do walk quickly, it'd be a shame if you missed the photos."

Lily's face was bright red as she watched her sister follow her bridal party out of the house.

"Oh, I despise her." She growled as the door swung shut with a bang. "All she's done all week is torment me! First the bloody pink dress, now this."

"You look better in pink than she does in white." James didn't even notice the words as they fell out of his mouth.

Lily's eyes widened before the began cackling hysterically.

"Sorry." James said, "slipped out."

"No, it's quite alright." Lily grinned, "her dress is rather atrocious, isn't it."

"I hate to agree with you," James chuckled, "but it is quite unfortunate."

"Alright, alright," Lily took a deep breath, recomposing herself, "come on then, I'll apparate us there, I'd bloody die before walking in these fuckers."

James looked down at the heels she was wearing; they were quite tall.

He took her arm and they disappeared.

Chapter Text

The Dursley wedding was absolutely horrible.

James was sandwiched between the end of the pew and Lily's grandmother, the latter drooling on his suit.

Lily looked beyond bored, standing with a slouch up on the alter.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride."

"Oh that's not pretty." Lily's grandmother seemed to have woken up just in time to watch the sorry excuse of a kiss.

James couldn't help but agree, it was not pretty, not at all.

Lily found him once they had filed out of the church.

"Oh, that was horrible," she groaned, "absolutely atrocious."

"It wasn't that bad." James lied.

She gave him a look.

"It's cocktail hour," she said, "open bar—if anyone asks, you're eighteen. I'd recommend something strong...we're going to need it. Don't worry about apparating, you can stay over."

"No, that's alright," James smiled, "I have to get home."

"Okay," Lily grabbed his hand and squeezed it, "well if you feel the need to get trashed, I can apparate you home...unlike you, it's common knowledge I'm only seventeen. I reckon my sister did that on purpose too."

"I'll sneak you something," James laughed, "go take pictures, you look lovely."

"Thank you." She squeezed his hand one more time before following the bridal party.

James held out as long as he could but he couldn't resist liquor after he watch Vernon Dursley try to feed Petunia cake.

"That's foul." Lily snatched the drink from his hand, downing it in one go, "go get more."

"Yes, ma'am," James gave her an amused grin before wandering back over to the bar.

"James Potter."

James spun, almost spilling the cosmopolitans in his hands.

"Vernon Dursley," James nodded, "lovely reception, really. I'd shake your hand but you know..."

He looked down at the drinks in his hand.

Vernon eyed him unamused, "I see you aren't above taking advantage of the open bar."

"Hey, mate," James shrugged, "good company, good drinks. Cheers."

He went to take his leave but Vernon stopped him.

"Petunia's told me about your kind," his beady eyes narrowed.

"Ah, she must've told you about our unparalleled charm," James winked.

Vernon stared at him.

"What's wrong big boy?" James licked his lips stepping forward, "can't handle a little heat?"

"Stay—stay away from us." Vernon backed up as James took confident steps towards him.

James let him leave before turning back to Lily.

"What was that?" She asked, accepting the offered drink.

"Apparently your brother-in-law doesn't care for my flirting."

Lily choked on her drink.

"You didn't!" She cackled.

"Just slightly," James grinned, "hurry and finish your drink, let's go dancing."

The night went on and the smuggled drinks continued.

"Fresh air?" Lily slurred, leaning heavily into James's chest.

"Yeah," he smiled, "let's get you some fresh air."

He led Lily out of the hall, supporting her with an arm around her waist.

"You're a good friend, James." She sighed, looking up at the stars as they sat down on a bench.

"You're a good friend too, Lils," he smiled.

She sighed with a smile, resting her head on his shoulder, "we'll be okay."

James hummed in agreement.

They sat in a silence, listening to the hum of cars in the distance.

"Lily?" James started.

Lily didn't answer.

He looked down to find the girl fast asleep.

"Alright then," he smiled, "up you go."

He picked her up and apparated to her room.

"Did I fall asleep?" She mumbled as he set her down on her bed, unbuckling her heels.

"Yeah," James said softly, placing them beside her bed, "I'm going to head home, okay?"

"You sure you don't want to stay?" She asked, rolling over.

"No," he said, "I'll see you on the train, Evans."

"Bye, James."

"Bye."

She fell back asleep in an instant and James set out a glass of water on her nightstand.

When James opened the door to his bedroom, he was immediately met with a wave of heat.

James shedded his clothes and kicked off his shoes and hung his suit up before climbing carefully into bed.

Regulus was buried under a mound of blankets.

"I told you to stay over," he muttered, shivering.

"Shh," James said, wrapping himself around the shaking boy, "what happened?"

"My temperature dropped too low," Regulus said, "I'm just so cold."

"You should've called me," James tightened his hold.

Regulus shook his head, "you didn't need to worry. Did you have fun?"

"The wedding was horrible," James said, "but I did have fun."

"That's all that matters then." Regulus said.

>•<

Regulus Black turned seventeen on Wednesday, January 3rd.

Granted, he was asleep for the majority of it, but the Potters still saw it fit to celebrate.

They all gathered in James's room—Regulus was finding it harder to be out of bed—played games, gave gifts, sung, and ate chocolate cake.

Monty had given Regulus a watch—one that had once belonged to James's great uncle.

Effie had given him the necessities—an entire new wardrobe, quills, textbooks—everything he had left behind to start this new life.

And James...James had given him an annotated copy of War and Peace, notes and doodles scribbled in the margins of all twelve hundred pages.

It was taking all Regulus had to keep the tears from his eyes.

The next day James would be back on the train to Hogwarts and Regulus wouldn't be going with him.

It would be the first time James was at school without Regulus since they had begun dating, it was a daunting thought.

The two of them hardly slept that night, finding comfort in the other's arms.

James didn't know what was worse, leaving Regulus, or facing his friends with the knowledge of who Peter Pettigrew had become.

He didn't know how he could manage it, reality was bound to come crashing down, James going with it.

The sun rose above the horizon and James's grip tightened around Regulus as his sobs began.

"Shh," Regulus raked his fingers through James's curls.

He let him cry, whispering comforting words until the time slipped away from them.

"It's time to go, Love." Effie knocked on the door.

She and Monty had done the task of packing up James's belongings the night before, it was heartbreaking to see their son in such a state.

"I'll send him done in a minute," Regulus smiled weakly at Effie.

Effie nodded, closing the door to give them privacy.

"You're going to be okay?" James choked out, burying his head in Regulus's chest.

"I'll be okay." He croaked, moving his hand to caress James's cheek. His hand was weak and shaky but the comfort it brought James's was immense.

"I don't want to leave you." James sobbed, "I'll stay."

"You have to go back to school," Regulus's voice was quiet and raw, "I'll be okay, I promise, I have your Mum and your Dad, and I'll write to you every day."

"Everyday?" James whispered.

"Everyday." Regulus tried a smile, "it won't be long, I'll be better soon."

"I love you." James kissed him, his lips were dry and cracked but James didn't care.

"I love you." Regulus said, "go, you're going to miss the train."

James kissed his parents goodbye, their assurances that everything would be okay falling onto deaf ears.

It dawned on him that just two weeks ago, he was on the train with Regulus fearing for his life. Now, two weeks later, Regulus had escaped his family, yet here James was, on the train alone, still fearing for the life of the boy he loved.

The irony was not lost on him as he slouched against the wall in an empty compartment, watching London slip away.

Chapter Text

Lily found James within minutes and he desperately wished she'd leave him to his thoughts, but of course, that wasn't the case.

"Hey!" She chirped, "mind if I sit with you?"

"Sure." James said, looking out the window.

"Thanks, Mary's sitting with her boyfriend and I can't seem to find Marlene anywhere."

"No problem." James cringed, his voice was raw, and if it wasn't already obvious from his face, she'd now know he'd been crying.

"James—"

"Please don't." James groaned.

"I let it go the other day," Lily frowned, "but I'm really worried about you. What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" James's voice cracked.

"James." She crossed her arms, "it's obvious that it's not nothing."

She reached out and squeezed his knee comfortingly, "I'm here for you."

"Someone I really care out is sick." James managed, "and we don't know if they're going to get better, and now I left and I just—I just don't know what to do."

"Oh, James." Lily gasped.

"And Peter's joined the other side," tears were now leaking from James's eyes, "I don't know how I'm going to face him. That rat bastard."

"The other side?" Lily's hand flew to her mouth, "you don't mean—"

James nodded.

"Holy shit!" Lily shrieked. "Peter Pettigrew?"

James lip twitched and Lily immediately grabbed his hand.

"Oh, James, I'm so sorry."

"I just don't understand." James looked away as the tears began to pool in his eyes again. "Merlin, I'm sorry, I'm so sick of crying."

"It's okay to cry." She moved over to his side of the compartment, her own eyes glassy.

"No, no," James shook his head, "I've done enough of that. Now I'm just going to be pissed. How the fuck am I supposed to tell the boys?"

"You're James Potter," Lily said, "you can do anything."

James's knee bounced anxiously and he fidgeted with the band around his ring finger.

"Christmas gift?" Lily asked, gesturing to it, "I've never seen you wear it before the wedding."

"Oh," James fought the urge to hide his hand from view, a blush tingeing his cheek, "yeah. Family heirloom."

Lily nodded, "would it help you more if I'd talked, just sat, or left you alone?"

"Maybe just sit with me?" James said, not moving his gaze from the window.

"Okay," Lily's voice was soft, "I can do that."

The train ride gave James the time to level his head.

He felt like he was finally able to breath, despite the worry of Regulus weighing in his throat.

All his work went to hell, however, when he ran into Peter.

"James!" He smiled at him, "where've you been Mate! Figured you were doing Head duties but I couldn't find you. How was hols?"

James was frozen, his rage grew but so did his panic.

"James?"

James fled.

He ran in a sprint up to the castle, Peter on his heels, calling after him.

McGonagall's office door was closed and James practically threw himself at it, Peter long behind him—he was never a runner.

"Mr. Potter!"

McGonagall's scowl fell as she saw James's face.

"Are you alright?"

"No." James choked out.

"Come in, Mr. Potter," she nodded, opening the door wider to let him through.

The entire conversation took less than five minutes.

McGonagall gave him a piece of parchment and James broke out into a run once again.

"James!"

Peter had gained on him in the time he had spent in the office.

James refused to look over his shoulder or slow down, barreling up the staircase of the Gryffindor dorm.

He made it to his room, pulling the door open and spelling it shut behind him.

"James?" Sirius looked up from the chess match with a frown, "what're you doing? Where's Pete?"

"I've put in a request to get him moved from our dorm." James said seriously leaning on the door, "I need you two to sign it. McGonagall said it had to be unanimous."

"What?" Remus laughed nervously, "why would we do that? James? What's happened?"

James could feel the tears begin to burn in his eyes once again. He hated it.

"James?" Sirius frowned. "You're scaring me. Where's Peter?"

"Peter is one of them." James managed, blinking up at the ceiling. "He's with Voldemort."

"No he's not!" Sirius barked, "Merlin, James, have you lost your mind?"

"No. Sirius, I'm not kidding." James said sternly. "He killed someone. He is not our friend. Hell, I don't even know if he ever was or if it was all some sort of sick joke."

"You're serious?" Remus stared, his lips parted in shock. "James, if this is a joke it's not fucking funny."

"Remus I wish it was." James said. "He's one of them."

"No." Sirius laughed hysterically, "no. He is not. He can't be."

James didn't say anything.

"No!" Sirius threw the chess board across the room, springing to his feet, pacing back in forth. "No. This isn't real."

Remus was frozen in place, staring blankly ahead. 

"I'm sorry." James shook his head. "Fuck, I'm so sorry."

The knocking startled all three of them.

"Guys! It's me!" Peters voice came from the other side of the door. "Guys? Hello? Why's the door locked? Let me in."

"Fuck, what do we do?" James panicked, staring at the wood.

"I'm going to kill him." Remus said in a scarily calm voice. He walked to the door and opened it.

"Hey." Peter smiled, moving to step inside.

Remus blocked him.

"Moony?"

"How was Australia, Pete?" Remus said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, brilliant," Peter said quickly, "why aren't you letting me inside?"

"Yeah? Trip was good?" Remus smiled cruelly, "you know we were all worried about you, with the volcano eruption and everything. You were staying in Ottawa, you said? How'd you get away?"

"Oh!" Peter's eyes widened, "the eruption! Yeah, thank goodness we were on a day trip several hours away from Ottawa when it happened! Dad keeps saying how lucky we were!"

Remus's lips twitched.

Sirius and James couldn't drag their eyes away. This was not good.

"There wasn't an eruption, Pete." Remus smiled, "and Ottawa is in Canada."

Peter's smile faded and his face turned white.

"Get the fuck out of my face, Rat." Remus spat. "This is no longer your room, do not speak to us. Do not look at us, go rot in fucking hell."

"Remus?" Peter's eyes widened. "Pads? Prongs?"

Remus raised his wand, Peter was knocked back.

With a shake of his head, Remus closed the door.

Chapter Text

The first night with an empty bunk in their dorm was weird.

Remus and Sirius wanted to know how James found out.

James hadn't thought it through and scrambled for an explanation, telling them a half-formed story about his parents finding out.

They knew he was holding something back, but they didn't press.

James went to bed alone.

He woke up before dawn and quietly slipped out of bed, pulling on his trainers.

The sun was barely rising when he got down to the quidditch pitch, walking through a couple inches of snow that would be melted by noon.

The cold licked at his skin as he began running laps.

He turned off his mind and ran, focusing on the feeling of his feet rhythmically hitting the ground.

The sky was slowly painted in color but James kept running.

He needed his thoughts to be silent. He couldn't think about anything that was happening, if he did, he wouldn't be able to hold it together.

He didn't realize someone was calling his name until he literally ran into them.

Remus yelped and they both toppled over.

"Sorry, didn't see you," James groaned, rolling off of Remus.

They laid out on the grass, staring up at the sun

"You okay?" Remus asked.

James shook his head, "I don't think so."

"Me either." Remus sighed, "do you think he'll tell...about me?"

James's blood ran cold, he hadn't even thought of that. "Fuck, Remus, I don't know."

Remus nodded, taking a deep breath, "I suppose it has to come out sooner or later."

"He should know better than to expose you," James said, "I'll kill him."

"Come on," Remus sat up, forcing a smile, "I don't want to miss breakfast."

James let Remus pull him up and they walked back to the castle.

"Where's Sirius?" James asked.

"Still sleeping," Remus said, "we'll stop at the dorm so you can change into your uniform and I'll wake him."

Every eye in the hall was on the three boys as they walked into the hall.

Peter was sitting alone at the end of the table, refusing to look up from his plate.

James, Sirius and Remus sat in their usual spot across from Lily, Marlene and Mary.

"You lot look like hell," Mary frowned, "why's Pete sitting all the way down there?"

Lily put her hand on Mary's arm and shook her head.

"Why don't you boys eat," Lily said, starting to shovel food onto their plates.

"Thanks, Lil," Remus smiled fondly, "but I think we've got it."

"Sorry," she blushed, clasping her hands in her lap, "we can leave you alone, we were just finishing up anyways...come on girls."

"What?" Marlene asked, trying to fit a final bite of eggs into her mouth as Lily pulled her away. "No I'm not done!"

"I'll explain in a minute," Lily said under her breath, "let's go."

"This is weird," Remus said, nudging Sirius, "you okay?"

Sirius didn't respond.

"Sirius?" Remus nudged him again, "are you listening?"

"Regulus." Sirius said suddenly turning to stare at James.

James's face turned white, "what?"

"He's not here." Sirius frowned, turning away, his eyes trained on the Slytherin table, "he didn't come back."

"Are you sure?" James said, guilt eating him alive.

"Yeah," Sirius nodded, chewing on his lip. "Something must've happened. My family is all about looks..,people will talk that Regulus didn't return. Whatever they did to him will be worse than rumors."

"I'm sure he's okay Mate," James said.

"I'm afraid they don't know when to stop—Bellatrix and my mother." Sirius shook his head, "this was probably the time they took it too far. I should've been there. He knew something was going to happen, he spoke to me the day you left, told me he loved me and that he was sorry. He told me he wanted to leave, that he was trying to. I should've been there."

"It's not your fault." Remus reminded him, "if Regulus grew a pair and left with you, none of this would've happened. If anyone, it's his fault."

"Oi." James frowned. "That doesn't seem fair."

"Prongs?" Remus frowned.

"What?" James defended, "it's not fair. I can't imagine how scary leaving home would be. Besides, it's not like he knew me, I could've turned him away at the door and that would've been that."

"You wouldn't have done that." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"No, I wouldn't have." James agreed, "but did you brother know that?"

"Why're you defending him?" Remus asked.

"He's just a kid." James said, "he was fourteen when you left, Sirius."

"But he's sixteen now." Sirius argued, "that's how old I was when I left, hell, he's just turned seventeen."

"Whatever, I don't know what I'm fucking talking about. Ignore me." James said bitterly, taking a bite out of his toast.

"James—" Remus was staring at him in shock.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Sirius spat, "whose side are you on?"

"Nobodies!" James said, "this isn't an argument, there is no argument."

"Well you had me fooled." Sirius said, "I just pointed out the fact that my baby brother could be fucking dead and you're starting a fight."

"Sorry," James drawled halfheartedly, standing from the table, "I'll meet you guys in class."

Remus called after him but James practically ran out of the hall.

Sirius, however, was not the only one who had noticed Regulus's absence.

As soon as he turned the corner, James's back slammed into the stone wall.

His head spinning as he felt a wand jab at his jugular.

"Where is he?" Pandora demanded.

"Can you maybe lower that? Please?" James squeaked.

"Where. Is. He." Pandora jabbed her wand harder into his throat.

"He's at home." James said quickly, "my home...with my parents."

Her force lessened on her wand but she still held it firm against his skin.

"What happened?"

"He ran," James said, pushing her wand down with his hand, "he showed up to my house only a few hours after we got off the train covered in blood. He was cursed—the dark magic caused a cardiogenic shock, he's recovering."

Pandora stumbled and crumpled on the ground.

James knelt in front of her, "he's okay, I promise."

"He made it out?" Pandora's voice was weak and she looked at James almost pleadingly.

James nodded, "he got out."

She looked away, tilted her head back and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Good."

James nodded before remembering she wasn't looking at him.

"He's had a rough couple weeks," James admitted, "but I reckon he'll be alright. He's strong, my Reg."

Pandora nodded, "thank you, James."

James sat down beside her and picked up her hand, squeezing it.

"It'll be okay."

Chapter Text

Regulus didn't want to admit it, but as soon as James walked out the door, everything seemed to hit him with a heavier weight.

Until then, he had James to focus his attention on.

Put on a smile, for James.

Don't let him see the hurt.

Don't let on how scared he truly was.

Without James, Regulus had to face himself. He didn't have James to be strong for anymore, he was alone.

Effie and Monty helped.

They sat with him during meals, eating upstairs in his room until he was well enough to get up and down the stairs.

They played chess and exploding snap—Effie even tried to teach him how to knit.

After a week, Regulus started feeling like this could be his home.

Maybe, just maybe, one day he wouldn't feel like a visitor, maybe he could belong in the Potter family.

He hoped it wasn't wishful thinking.

"Monty?" Regulus shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he moved his pawn.

"Yes?" He looked at the boy across from him, "is something on your mind Regulus?"

"It may be nothing..." Regulus started quickly, "but when I came face to face with—well, with him. He spoke about Horcruxes."

Monty's glass dropped and shattered on the ground.

Dread filled Regulus's chest, "I don't know what they are, I couldn't find anything in James's textbooks, but it seemed significant."

"Did he say anything else?" Monty breathed.

"Yes—" Regulus said, "there's five of them."

"Five?" Monty gasped, "Merlin almighty."

He stood and began to pace, raking his fingers through his silver hair. It reminded Regulus thoroughly of James and in the moment he could've mistaken Fleamont Potter as an older version of his own Potter. He supposed, in an odd way, that was the case.

"A horcrux is an object of terribly dark magic," Monty said, "to my understanding, it is essentially splitting your soul and placing the fragments into an object. To do so you must take the life of another, as long as one has a horcrux, they are essentially immortal. It is the most terrible magic a wizard can preform."

"Immortal?" Regulus coughed, "like he can't be killed?"

"As long as the horcruxes are intact, no." Monty said, "they ground his body here on earth, no matter how disfigured his physical being may become."

Regulus was stunned.

"I'll have to speak to Dumbledore," Monty said, "forgive me Regulus, I must go."

Regulus nodded as he watched him leave, their chess match abandoned.

Monty didn't return in time for dinner and Effie declared that she had no intention of cooking.

"Go on and put a cloak on Darling Boy," she said, "I think a trip out of this house will do you wonders."

She swept him through a door he had yet to see.

"The garage," she explained, twirling keys in her hand, "have you ever been in a car before?"

Regulus nodded.

"Sirius and Monty fixed this one up for me last summer," she explained, walking over to a cherry red car, "it's a 1940 Bentley—Mark Five."

Regulus looked at her blankly.

"Don't worry," she chuckled, "I don't expect you to know what I'm talking about...and I definitely don't expect you to fix a car for me."

"Sirius fixed it?" Regulus asked, reaching a hand out to hesitantly brush it against the car.

"Sure did," Effie smiled, "Sirius is good at things like this...my Jamie not so much."

"I rather think James is good at everything," Regulus mused.

Effie looked at him fondly, reaching out to squeeze his arm.

"Their current project is over there." She pointed over to the corner where a large sheet was draped over an odd shape. "It's a motorbike...Sirius is set on making it fly."

"A flying motorbike?" Regulus frowned. He had never been on a motorbike before—had hardly even seen one other than the ones on the posters permanently stuck to Sirius's walls at number twelve.

Effie nodded, "I reckon he'll actually do it."

"I wouldn't be surprised," Regulus agreed.

"Anything you've always wanted to try?" Effie asked as she started the car, "Sirius was set on Thai food, it was the first thing we ate when he came to us."

"Thai Food?" Regulus repeated.

"Yeah," Effie said, "he hated it. Is there anything in particular you'd like?"

"I don't know," Regulus shook his head, "whatever is fine."

"I'll tell you what," Effie said, "I'll start driving and when something catches your fancy we'll stop."

They stopped at McDonalds.

Regulus was absolute entranced. He practically shouted his order into the speaker, stared at the girl who delivered their food on rollerskates (as Effie called them).

His burger was greasy and his fries were salty and he was in love, and when Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John played—Regulus sobbed.

Broke down in the front seat in the McDonald's parking lot.

Effie held him, stroking her fingers through his hair just like James did whenever he was upset.

That made him sob harder.

When he pulled himself together, she didn't mention it and not for the first time and certainly not for the last, Regulus felt an overwhelming gratitude for Euphemia Potter.

She pulled onto a side road and cut off the engine.

Before Regulus could even question her, she was out of the car, opening the door to the passenger seat.

"Come on now, budge over," she ordered.

"What?" Regulus asked, staring at her with wide eyes.

"You're seventeen," Effie said, "old enough to drive."

"But I don't know how to drive."

"I'll teach you," she said, "go on then, get behind the wheel."

He hesitantly slid over, settling into the driver's seat.

"There you are," Effie said, handing him the keys. "The clutch is the pedal to the far left, then the brake is in the middle and the gas is on the right. You're going to use your left foot for the clutch and your right for the other two."

"Okay," Regulus looked at his feet nervously.

"Relax, Darling," Effie laughed, "it'll be alright. Press the clutch all the way down to the floor and turn the key away from you in the ignition."

Regulus decided that he did not care for driving.

"That's alright," Effie said pulling back into the garage, "we'll work on it, off to bed for you, I have not forgotten that you are still quite sick."

Monty wasn't at breakfast either, he had returned well after Regulus had gone to bed and left well before he woke.

Regulus stumbled down the staircase and into the kitchen, pouring himself some tea.

"Regulus, Darling, have you seen the paper?" Effie asked hesitantly as she walked in from the sitting room.

"The paper?" Regulus frowned, rubbing his eyes, "no, I haven't."

She leaned on the counter across from him and offered the Daily Prophet.

He didn't have to inquire as to what she was referring to, it was displayed in bold letters on the front page.

Lord Orion Black; Dead

Suicide.

At least that's what page six said.

Orion Black was found dead in his office at 2:29 am on Thursday, January 4th, just a day after his son's 17th birthday. It has been confirmed by Healer Marcos of St Mungo's, that the killing curse was the cause of death. Inspection of Lord Black's wand did show use of the curse, leading to speculation of a potential suicide. Due to the disownment of Orion Black's eldest son, the former Black heir, Sirius Black, the title of Lord Black is now inherited by Regulus Black. We offer our condolences to the Black family during this difficult time.

Regulus set down the paper.

"I'm so sorry." Effie frowned.

"Don't be." Regulus shook his head, "I reckon—in his own sick way, that was my father proving he cared for me."

"Jamie told me about your vow." Effie said with a sniff, "the timing doesn't seem coincidental, does it?"

"It does not." Regulus smiled weakly. "My father was a bad man. I will not grieve his death."

"He was still your father." Effie grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "You are allowed to grieve if you wish to."

"I don't." Regulus said, "I will be thankful for what he's done for me, but it will not excuse his behavior. Thank you for telling me."

"Of course." She smiled sadly at him, "are you feeling any better?" She pressed the back of her hand to his forehead. "You're still warm."

"I'm feeling better." Regulus said.

"Small steps." She ruffled his hair, "I'll go get a potion, just relax and wait for James's letter."

Regulus laughed, "I can expect that soon, can't I?"

Effie smiled, "I'd be surprised if it doesn't get here within the hour."

Regulus let out a puff of air and leaned further on the counter. "I love him so much it hurts."

Effie ruffled his hair, "Darling, he looks at you like you're the world."

Chapter Text

"James!"

His eyes shot open as his curtains were pulled open.

"Bloody hell." James grumbled, feeling for his glasses, "Sirius?"

"Yeah." Sirius crawled onto his bed, his eyes were wide with a panic.

It immediately woke James up and he sat up, "what's wrong?"

Sirius shoved a paper into his hands.

"It just came." Sirius said.

James looked down at the cover.

Lord Orion Black; Dead

James choked on his breath. "Holy fuck. Are you okay?"

Sirius nodded with a frown. "Yeah."

"Your dad just died, Mate," James said, "I know you hated him, but you can still be upset."

"They're saying it was suicide." Sirius said, "the day after my brother's birthday."

It hit James like a bag of bricks.

"Oh."

It was all he could manage to say. It wasn't fair. He should've said more to Sirius. Explained that maybe just once his father chose to do an honorable thing; putting his son before himself. Maybe, if James would've said anything, Sirius could've understood.

But Sirius didn't need to understand. Sirius was not Regulus.

"We're going to bloody celebrate!" Sirius boomed, a manic smile spreading on his lips. "Moons went to go find us some alcohol. Up for it?"

James grinned.

Sirius was not Regulus.

Sirius didn't need an explanation, he needed a friend to pretend with.

"'Course."

"Brilliant, I told him to see if he could get any flour from the Hufflepuffs too, shite, I want to be crossed right now, sounds like a hella good time."

"Sounds great, Mate." James said.

"Alright!" Sirius's she twitched and fingers thrummed anxiously against his thigh. "Alright! Today we celebrate."

"Why don't you take a shower?" James said, "or drink a glass of water?"

"No, no." Sirius shook his head, "I'm going to go help Moony, wanna come?"

"Nah," James shook his head, "I'm going to change, I'll meet you guys back up here."

Sirius nodded, standing to leave.

James frowned, watching him.

Sirius was starting to spiral.

With a sigh, James pushed himself up out of bed and over to his desk.

Just heard. You okay? Miss you.
All my Love,
James

He scrawled the message onto a scrap of paper and tied it to the leg of his owl.

Sirius wasn't joking about celebrating, and James was not about to let his best friend spiral by himself.

If Sirius was going down, so was James, if he was going to get so utterly pissed that he would be vomiting in the toilet, James would be at the sink next to him and Remus would be at the tub.

If one of them was going down, they'd all fall together.

"How much has he had?" Lily frowned, watching James peculiarly.

"A lot." Remus slurred with a laugh.

"What's wrong with him?" Sirius giggled, "his face is all funny. Prongsie, what's wrong with your face?"

"I'm sad." James's lip trembled.

"Sad!" Remus laughed, "why be sad when you can be pissed!"

Sirius cheered and clinked their glasses together.

"I think he's both at the moment." Lily commented with a snort. "Why're you sad, James?"

"I'm lonely." James whined with a pout. "I miss—I miss—shh it's a secret."

"Oh! It's a secret!" Sirius gasped, covering his mouth, "hear that? Guys? We have to be quiet. James is going to tell us a secret."

"No!" James gasped. "I will not tell you my secret."

"Come on! Tell us your secret!" Remus laughed. "Who's your shag buddy James?"

"Shag buddy?" Lily's eyes widened.

"Yeah!" Remus snorted, "James always has his curtains spelled shut at night. Or he's not even here!"

"Don't say that." James frowned.

"Say what?" Sirius asked.

"Shag buddy." James frowned. "Don't call it that."

"Ha! So you admit it!" Sirius shouted, "you're fucking someone!"

"Don't say it like that!" James groaned, holding his head.

"Why because you're fucking a whore?" Sirius spat, "why are you so fucking secretive? James? Why don't you fucking trust us?"

It took them all a second to catch up to Sirius's swing but when they did, it fell silent.

James looked at him, fury in his eyes, "what did you say?"

"I said you're fucking a whore and—"

James scrambled to his feet and tackled Sirius, smacking his back on the hardwood floor.

"Get off him!" Remus slurred, trying to pull the boys apart.

James yelled, yanking at Sirius's hair and Sirius shrieked, scratching at James's face.

"Oi!" Lily shouted. "Knock it off. You're all fucking drunk, stop prying in each other's business and go the fuck to sleep."

The three of them froze, staring at her with wide eyes.

"Evans is scary." Sirius whimpered, rolling away from James.

"Yeah." James shuddered.

"Go to sleep boys." Lily crossed her arms, "brush teeth and pajamas. Now."

They nodded, hanging their heads as they stumbled into the bathroom.

"Who is it?" Sirius pressed as James squeezed half the tube of toothpaste onto his toothbrush.

"No talking!" Lily scolded through the door.

"Oh shit." Sirius giggled, clamping a hand over his mouth.

James snorted, choking on the toothpaste.

Lily was waiting when they fell out of the bathroom, their pajamas inside out and backwards, toothpaste dried on their chins.

"James Potter. Is that a whiskey?" Lily raised an eyebrow.

James's eyes widened and he hid his glass behind his back.

"No..."

"Give it to me." Lily held out her hand.

James shook his head.

"Give it to me Potter."

He stared at her and quickly brought the whiskey to his lips, drinking it quickly.

"Oh, honestly." Lily pried it out of his fingers. "Ok, boys, sleep."

James collapsed onto his bed and closed his eyes.

"Sirius! That's Remus's bed." Lily's voice sounded.

Sirius whined.

"Oh, whatever." Lily sighed. "Goodnight boys."

James rolled into his pillow with a sniff.

He missed Regulus. His bed was too cold without him. He thought the alcohol would help, but it only made it worse.

Lily was waiting in the common room when he got up.

She offered him a small smile, a coffee, and a hangover potion.

"Thanks." He breathed, accepting them gratefully.

"I'm not going to ask about it." Lily said, "but I'm here for you."

"Thank you." James said. "I don't exactly remember what happened last night."

"Well the scratches on your face are from Sirius." Lily said, "you two got into it last night."

"Why?" James frowned, bringing his fingers to his face.

"Well, Sirius was getting upset and kept asking you who you were—err—shagging."

James's eyes widened. "Did I....? I didn't—tell him. Right?"

"Oh! No!" Lily said quickly, "no, you didn't."

"Good." James breathed.

"This came for you." She dug a paper out of her pocket.

James thanked her, and unfolded the piece of parchment.

I'm okay. How's Sirius?

"I didn't open it." Lily promised.

"Okay, thanks." James nodded. Even if she had read it, nothing was given away from the note, it wouldn't have mattered.

"I think you should talk to them." Lily said. "I understand not wanting to tell me, but Sirius and Remus? They're your best mates, James. They're not going to do anything that'll hurt you."

"Yeah." James shook his head, stuffing the note into his pocket. "Peter was my best mate too. Thanks for the coffee, Evans, I reckon I'll just go sleep it off."

Her lips were pressed together and she refrained from saying more as he stood and climbed back up the stairs.

Sirius was still in Remus's bed and the both of them were fast asleep, their backs pressed together.

James shook his head with a laugh.

Sirius would definitely be getting hexed when Remus woke up.

Chapter Text

Lily patrolled with James, filling in for Regulus as his partner.

He could tell she was itching to ask him something but was waiting for the right opportunity.

He was set on not giving her said opportunity.

Alas, it was Lily Evans, and Lily Evans did what Lily Evans wanted.

She seized her opportunity as they were heading back to their dorms for the night.

He walked ahead of her, thinking if he could keep a quick pace that she wouldn't be able to question him in depth before he could escape up the staircase to his room.

He was wrong.

"Oi! Potter!" Lily jogged a couple paces forward to match his pace, "why're you walking so fast?"

"I'm tall?" James offered lamely.

She rolled her eyes and linked her arms around his, forcing him to match her pace.

"Are you alright?"

"Peachy," he said shortly.

She frowned and he could feel her gaze baring into him.

"What were you reading earlier?" She asked suddenly, "in the common room?"

"Macbeth," James said.

"Macbeth?" Lily's eyes widened, "I didn't have you pegged as a Shakespeare person."

"It was recommended to me," James shrugged, "I actually don't mind it."

"Interesting," she squeezed his arm, "who's you favorite character?"

"I don't know," James admitted.

"I liked Duncan," Lily said, "he was a good king. Although I will say, I never understood why Lady Macbeth didn't just leave. If I was that miserable, I don't think I would've stayed with a man like Macbeth."

"She stays because she loves him," James argued.

"But is love enough if you need to sacrifice so much?" Lily asked.

James froze, uncertain how to reply.

Lily watched him expectantly, so he cleared his throat.

"With the right person," he started, her green eyes blazing into his, "I think love is worth everything."

"Really?" Lily challenged, "you'd give up your sanity? Your freedom?"

James nodded, "without a doubt." His answer rolled off his tongue without hesitance. "If it meant they'd be happy, I'd give the world."

"They?" Lily repeated, raising an eyebrow, "anything to say, there, James?"

James shook his head. "No. Nothing."

"I know you're in a relationship," she said bluntly, "I know it's more than shagging, it's quite obvious, really."

He stumbled over his words in a panicked blur. "What? No I'm not."

She gave him a look, "just be careful? Yeah? Nobody is worth loosing yourself for."

"I'm not loosing myself!" James bit back angrily, "what do you know?"

"Nothing," she held up her arms in surrender, releasing him from her hold as they stopped in the common room, "I know nothing, James, take everything I say with a grain of salt. I'm just offering friendly advice. You've seemed—dull recently."

"I'm happy." He said, "leave it."

"If that's what you want," she offered a weak smile.

"It is," he confirmed.

She nodded, stepping away with a resigned sigh. "Goodnight, James."

"Goodnight, Lily," he huffed, exhausted.

She paused at the bottom of the staircase, "don't go away, yeah?" She asked.

"Yeah, sure," James said, although he wasn't sure what he was promising.

Regulus returned back to school a week and a half later.

"He looks okay," Remus remarked, as they studied him across the Great Hall.

"He does," Sirius frowned, "he looks good, actually. It looks like he's put on some weight too, he's not as sickly skinny as he was, his skin isn't as pale either."

"He looks happy," Remus remarked, an unfamiliar laugh echoing from across the hall.

"Isn't that a good thing?" James frowned, not understanding why Sirius seemed upset.

"I don't know." Sirius shook his head, "but I don't like what it could mean."

James rolled his eyes but he kept his mouth shut.

An owl swooped down and dropped a scrap of parchment in front of him.

"What's that?" Remus asked as James unfolded it with a smile.

"Nothing." James blushed.

I love you.

He shook his head with a smile, pocketing the note. He didn't look at Regulus, it would have been too obvious, but he would show his appreciation the next time he got his hands on him.

Regulus kept his eyes trained on his plate, glancing up only once to see James open the note.

His face lit up in a brilliant smile and Regulus had to suppress one of his own.

James Potter's smile must be one of the best things in the entire world and Regulus never wanted him to stop.

"What's got you all happy?" Barty asked, "picked up a lover on your extended holiday?"

"Something like that," Regulus laughed.

Barty's eyes widened, "are you feeling okay? What happened to my moody, broody Black?"

Regulus looked around and dropped his voice.

"I left."

"What?" He frowned, "left what?"

"Home." Regulus grinned. "I left and I'm not going back."

"You're joking?"

Regulus shook his head, "I really did it. I left."

"Where'd you go?" Barty asked.

"To my Lovers'." Regulus laughed, his smile hurting his cheeks.

After breakfast, he hurried back to his dorm, knowing James would be close behind.

"I love you." James breathed, ripping the cloak off his head as he walked in the room not ten minutes later.

Regulus wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him towards him as their lips met.

"Missed you," James kissed him, "how're you feeling?"

"Better," Regulus smiled, "you're mum is heaven sent."

"Told you." James laughed. "Had a good time, then?"

"I did." Regulus nodded, "I love your parents, I love your house. Merlin, I just love you so much."

James couldn't find any words. He smiled, smothering Regulus's face in wet kisses.

"James!" Regulus laughed, pushing his face away with his hands.

"I don't have much time," James said, kissing Regulus's palm, "I snuck away from the boys but they'll notice soon. I can't make it too obvious that I'm miraculous un-depressed the day you get back. Can we meet tonight?"

Regulus nodded, "where?"

"Trophy room, ten o'clock."

"I'll be there." Regulus promised, letting his fingers trail through James's hair, settling around his neck. "You don't have to leave yet, though, do you?"

"Not right this second." James smirked, "why? Do you have something in mind?"

"I do." Regulus smirked, chewing on the bottom of his lip, "don't worry, we'll have time."

Regulus was longing for James's arms around him from the second he left. The hours passed agonizingly slow.

"Where are you going?"  Dorcas asked as Regulus rushed passed her in the common room. "And hold on— where the fuck have you been?"

"Hey, Dorcas," Regulus bent down and kissed her cheek, "you look lovely as usual. I've got to run, I've got a date. But as for where I've been—long story short I ran away from home. Okay, talk later."

She stared at him with wide eyes and by the time she was cursing his name, he was already gone.

He took off towards the sixth floor. He couldn't wait to have a normal night with his boyfriend. It was exactly what he needed, a perfect night with his perfect boy.

Perfect.

However, what was not perfect was the Gryffindor on the other side of the hall, with an eerily familiar stance, in which mimicked Regulus's.

The two of them froze, identical eyes meeting in the middle of the corridor.

Sirius scanned the hall frantically, looking for someone, anyone.

Regulus did the same. Out of all the corridors in the bloody school, why was his brother there, and more importantly, why the fuck was the bloody hall empty.

"Sirius."

"Regulus."

"You've been well?" Regulus cringed. There was no way out of an interaction. The level of eye contact they just exchanged couldn't go without at least and exchange of pleasantries.

"Do you give a shite?" Sirius snorted.

"Naturally," Regulus rolled his eyes, "you're my brother."

Sirius's eyes widened.

"I—I've been well," he scratched the back of his neck.

"Brilliant," Regulus nodded curtly, "we'll I'll be off then."

"Wait." Sirius said quickly, "are you?"

"Am I?" Regulus frowned.

"Doing well I mean?" Sirius asked.

"I've got a couple things going for me," Regulus admitted with a small smile. "I'm actually going to be late for something, so if you excuse me—"

"Late for what?" Sirius's face turned cold.

"None of your business." Regulus raised an eyebrow.

"Regulus—"

"Sirius, I said it wasn't any of your business!" Regulus tried to walk away.

"Are you going to a meeting?" Sirius fumed, grabbing Regulus's arm.

"A what?" Regulus tried to pull his arm away but Sirius's grip was tight on his arm, "let go of me."

"No. I won't let you go."

"Go where?" Regulus yelled, "let go!"

"No!"

"What the fuck, Sirius!"

The Gryffindor didn't budge.

"Why do you think you can dictate what I can or can't do?" Regulus fumed. "You gave that up that night."

"I was miserable!" Sirius yelled, "I couldn't take another second in that fucking hell hole."

"What about me?" Regulus seethed, "you left me, Sirius, not the other way around."

"You've made your choice, Regulus," Sirius spat, "you'll become a monster, just like them. Just like her."

Regulus stared at him, with a small frown, yanked his arm away and  turned on his heel, walking away.

"Where are you going!" Sirius yelled after him.

Regulus stopped and looked over his shoulder, "all I've ever asked from you is to be my brother, Sirius, I'm sorry if that was too difficult a request."

"You were never my brother, Regulus."

He didn't allow himself to run—not until he rounded the corner at least.

He sprinted up the remaining stairs and straight into James's arms.

"What's wrong?" James frowned.

"I ran into Sirius," Regulus whispered, "James, he hates me."

"He does not hate you."

"He thinks I'm one of them," Regulus huffed. "Honestly, Darling, I don't see how you're friends with him. It's like I lose brain cells every time I speak to him."

James tightened his grip, rocking Regulus back and forth in his arms.

"It'll be okay," James said, "I'll make sure it'll be okay."

Regulus shook his head, burying his face into James's chest. "He's going to hate me even more when he finds out about us."

James stayed silent and Regulus felt his heart drop.

Chapter Text

Regulus and James quickly had to adjust to their situation.

Regulus wore his ring on a chain instead of his finger to avoid any speculation; they agreed that they couldn't spend the night together for at least another week (to both of their dismays), and most importantly, Regulus was still to act like a member of the Black family.

There wasn't the slightest trace of a whisper that he had ran away, instead, everyone offered their sympathies.

Following his father's death, Regulus was now the Lord Black and there was nothing Walburga could do to take away his inheritance.

Inheritance.

Regulus had inherited all of it.

The estates, the vaults, the heirlooms.

Everything.

"Lord Black," a representative from Gringotts sat infront of him, "all your vaults are in the state your father left them. You along with Walburga Black are the sole proprietors of the Black accounts."

"Take her off." Regulus said, leaning back in his chair.

The man, Mr. Loster, froze, "Pardon?"

"Take her off." Regulus said. "I wish to consolidate all my assets and split them into two accounts, one in my name and the other in my brothers'. All other accounts may be closed—I will deal with the estates at a later date."

"Your brother?" Loster reviewed his scroll, "he is not included in the will are you sure you want..."

Regulus held up his hand to cut off the man, "quite."

He nodded and scribbled a note on his parchment.

"As for Walburga," he said, nervously meeting Regulus's eye, "she is entitled to her widow trust which will be taken out of your vaults."

"Very well," Regulus nodded.

"You can allocate additional funds for her if you so chose—"

"I won't."

"Okay." He shifted uncomfortably, "you also will have to declare your next of kin. If you choose to leave it as it stands it will pass to Cygnus Black until you bear an heir."

"James Potter." Regulus said. "He is my declared successor."

The man nearly fell out of his seat.

"Lord Black, this is a substantial decision...perhaps I should give you a few days to think it over."

Regulus narrowed his eyes.

"It's just that this is unheard of!" Loster protested, "the Black fortune has never been left to one not of blood."

"Go on, write it on your parchment," Regulus said, "James Fleamont Potter."

"Mr. Black, I'd advise you to really think about the potential consequences of naming someone like a Potter your successor."

Regulus narrowed his eyes, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"Forgive me, but it's common knowledge that the Blacks and Potters aren't of the same....kind."

"Mr. Loster." Regulus's nostrils flared, "I'd advise you to do your job. I do not need nor wish for your opinion. James Potter, write it down."

"Very well." Mr. Loster did not look well at all. "And you brother, I'll have to meet with him."

"Then meet with him," Regulus collected his bag and stood, "have a nice day, Mr. Loster."

"Lord Black!" The man protested, but Regulus was already out the door.

He had a meeting to make and he'd be damned if he were to be late.

He slipped into a broom closet on the fourth floor and was immediately pinned against the wall, tripping over a bucket.

"James!" Regulus laughed, tossing his head back as the Gryffindor attacked his neck.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," James repeated over and over like a prayer.

Regulus raked his fingers through James's curls, grabbing a fistful at the nape of his neck.

James's head was forced back and Regulus leaned over him, their lips barely brushing.

"I love you." Regulus said, kissing him.

James's smile lit up the dark closet and Regulus could feel it against his lips.

It didn't take long at all for them to stumbled to the floor.

Regulus settled in a straddle on James's hips, one hand flush against James's cheek, the other one being used to support himself.

James planted one his hands on Regulus's hipbone as the other ran along the indents of his spine.

Regulus moaned and threw back his head, further exposing his white neck to James who was taking full advantage.

"You've got a thing for my neck today," Regulus mused.

"I have a thing for all of you always," James quipped.

"Mhm, how about this?" Regulus rocked down into his lap.

"Especially that," James stammered, his grip tightening on Regulus's hip. "But we've still got a week."

"Really?" Regulus pulled away, sitting on James's lap with a pout, crossing his arms, "we did it the other day and it was fine!"

"Yes, but we shouldn't have," James jabbed him in the side.

Regulus flinched and shoved his chest. "What was that for!"

"I don't think we should risk it again, Regulus, it's only a week."

"What difference is a week going to make?" Regulus argued, "I'm seventeen, James, not eighty, and besides, it wasn't like I just randomly had a heart attack, it was dark magic."

James's lip twitched as he tried to hold a stern face.

Regulus took advantage of James's falter, seizing him through his trousers.

"Reg—" James whimpered.

Regulus grinned, moving lower, "just relax, Love, apparently I have to convince you I'm in tip top shape."

"Wait, stop." James went tense, grabbing Regulus's wrist, "do you hear that?"

"What?" Regulus asked with a frown.

They sat for a second, there was hushed laughter and footsteps coming closer.

"Did we lock it?" Regulus's eyes widened as he moved to lean up against the door.

James flicked his wand towards the lock just in time for the handle to rattle.

"Oi! Occupied!"

The movement on the other side of the door immediately stopped.

Regulus gasped in a breath.

"James?"

"Sirius?"

"Who are you in there with?" Sirius accused, his voice muffled through the wood.

"Who are you out there with?" James countered.

Their was a beat of silence, and then another.

"Imma just walk away, and we can pretend this didn't happen?" Sirius's voice rang out, hesitantly.

"Good with me." James said with a sigh of relief, "consider it forgotten."

"Cheers, mate," Sirius said, "have fun."

"You too."

Regulus waited until there was no trace of footsteps to exhale.

He made eye contact with his ridiculous fiancé and began to laugh.

James snorted clambering to his feet. "Want to go get some dinner?"

"Yeah," Regulus sighed, accepting his offered hand, letting James pull him to his feet.

Chapter Text

The breeze was nice and James breathed in happily.

Regulus's head was settled in his lap, he was fast asleep.

It was one of those days.

Regulus hadn't said a single thing when he arrived, he just kissed James in lieu of a greeting, laid down and slept.

It was selfish how much James enjoyed Regulus's harder days. When Regulus so desperately wanted sleep—erasing the day into tomorrow—James fought heavy eyelids, wanting to savor these moments as long as he could.

He looked fake, like a doll almost. It was endearing.

James couldn't believe that he was his.

This beautiful boy. His.

He brushed his hands through Regulus's hair, letting his thumb rub his temple.

The plan for lunch was a picnic, but the basket that James brought laid abandoned besides the blanket.

James was leaned up against a tree, hidden just beyond the forest line, he'd be back here at night but not as James, as Prongs.

It was the first full moon as three Marauders.

Regulus shifted and James's attention was drawn back to him.

"You're staring at me." Regulus mumbled.

James paused, frozen for a second, before letting out an unbelieving scoff.

"Love, how could you possibly know, your eyes are closed."

"I can sense it." Regulus breathed, trying to burrow his face into James's abdomen.

"You were asleep just seconds ago," James protested.

"Mhm," Regulus said, "and you woke me."

"I didn't even move?"

"Your eyes are like little daggers."

"You're my fiancé, am I not allowed to stare at you?" James protested, poking a finger into Regulus's cheeks.

"Oi," Regulus rolled away, his head falling out of James's lap. "What time is it?"

His eyes were open now and he laid flat on his back, looking up at the clouds.

"A little after two," James said.

Regulus put his arms out and made a grabbing motion towards James.

"Yes Love?"

"Come here."

"Why don't you come over here?" James grinned.

Regulus pouted and crossed his arms, "fine."

He wrapped his legs around James's hips and his arms around his neck, clinging onto him like a sloth.

"Regulus—" James threw his head back with a laugh, "what are you doing?"

Regulus had pulled back just enough to pull at the hem of James's shirt.

"Shh," Regulus glared at him.

"Are you trying to take it off?" James watched, baffled, "really...what are you doing?"

Regulus ducked under the hem of James's shirt and fit himself in it.

James snorted as Regulus struggled to get his head through the neck hole.

"You are so odd." James shook his head.

"I was cold." Regulus scowled. "How are you always so bloody warm."

"You literally just climbed into my shirt." James said, "I'm stuck on that fact at the moment."

"What's yours is mine and all that bollocks," Regulus fit his hands on James's chest.

"Your hands are freezing!"

"Mwah" Regulus placed a messy kiss on James's forehead.

"Are you feeling alright?" James laughed.

"Mhm," Regulus pressed their foreheads together, "I can't wait for the year to be through."

"We'll have a good summer, won't we," James buried his smile into Regulus's curls, "maybe we can even go to Italy for a while, just like you used to."

"I haven't had a good summer in years," Regulus said, "it's strange almost."

"What is?"

"Looking forward to leaving," Regulus said, "I've never had that before. Hogwarts was always my safe haven."

"Isn't it still?" James whispered.

"No," Regulus shook his head, "no, I wouldn't say it is."

A silence fell and Regulus tightened his hold.

"James?"

"Yes Love?"

"I'm not coming back next year," Regulus said.

James went stiff, "what do you mean?"

"I mean I'm done," Regulus turned his face into James's neck, "I'm not finishing school."

"But your N.E.W.T's?" James asked.

"I don't need them," Regulus said, "I've more than enough money to support us—neither of us have to work, and I've never been interested of a traditional job anyways."

"Regulus, I want to work." James said.

Regulus went quiet.

"Reg?" James prompted.

"I just don't understand your reasoning," Regulus pulled away as much as he could, still tucked inside James's sweater. "We've had this discussion before."

"I don't feel right sitting around doing nothing while others sacrifice their lives."

"I thought you said you were okay—not being an Auror I mean," Regulus said in a small voice.

"I know I said that," James said, "but I've been thinking a lot about it recently, and I just don't see any other paths for me. I can't sit around and do nothing."

Regulus took a deep breath, blinking up at the sky for a long minute before exhaling to speak.

"I'm not going to tell you no James," he said, his voice on the verge of cracking, "but they're going to take you away from me."

"Darling, I'm promise, nobodies going to take me from you," James said, tracing circles at the base of Regulus's spine.

"You can't promise that," Regulus shook his head. "Don't promise that to me."

James let out a heavy breath.

They didn't speak much after that, and when James left, he couldn't help the sinking feeling in his chest that he had done something wrong.

He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the feeling before bringing his hand to the doorknob of the dorm.

He froze.

Strange noises were coming from the inside.

A hot panic rose as James slammed the door open, expecting Remus to be on the floor from the effects of the moon.

Remus was on the floor.

On top of Sirius.

The world seemed to pause as James's brain tired to rationalize what was happening.

Remus and Sirius didn't move—possibly thinking James wouldn't see them if they pretended to be statues.

But alas, James's brain eventually did catch up to the situation and he shrieked.

The two of them leapt off the ground and skidded around the room.

"You two are fucking!" James' hands clamped firmly over his eyes, "since when?"

"Last May," Remus said as they hurried to get their clothes on, "but James listen—"

"Last May!" James's voice raised several octaves, "that's nearly a year ago!"

"We didn't know how to tell you!" Sirius said, "we didn't know how you'd react!"

"You didn't know how I'd react!" James echoed.

"You've got to understand," Remus said, "these aren't really progressive times, being—well being like us, it can be dangerous."

"Being like you?" James frowned, his voice straining, "what, queer?"

"Yes," Sirius cringed, "queers, gays, fags, homosexuals—you can open your eyes now."

James moved his hands, staring at them with wide eyes.

"We're sorry," Remus looked extremely troubled, "we just didn't want to lose you as a friend."

"Why would you lose me as a friend?" James asked looking between them both.

"Because we're together." Sirius gave him a look as if he didn't understand what James was asking.

"Yeah?" James said, "so?"

"We're two men," Remus said.

"Oh. You're worried I wouldn't accept that?" James asked.

They nodded.

James's lip twitched into a frown.

"Really?" He whispered, "you thought I'd be like that?"

"Well we just didn't know..." Remus cringed.

"I'm literally in a relationship with a boy," he deadpanned. "I don't give a shite if you two are gay."

It was Sirius and Remus's turn to gawk at him.

"WHAT!" Remus yelled, his voice cracking tragically. "YOU'RE FUCKING GAY TOO? ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!"

"Holy fuck, we're a group of queers," Sirius anxiously tugged on his hair, "holy fuck."

"Well, I still like girls...I think?" James shrugged, "but boys are definitely pretty great."

"Who the fuck are you shagging?" Remus accused.

"Oi!" James said, "you two kept it a secret for a year. I'm not telling you shit."

"I bet you it's Trevor Spinnet," Sirius said.

"I'm not fucking Trevor Spinnet!" James said, "why are we talking about me? We're not pretending I didn't just walk in on you fucking barebacking. At least I have the decency to lock the bloody door!"

"HOLY FUCK!" Sirius gasped, "WHEN YOU SPELL YOUR CURTAINS CLOSED—ITS ALL BEEN THE SAME GUY?!"

"Err—" James spluttered.

"Oh my Merlin it is!" Sirius howled with laughter, "me and Moons just assumed half of the time you just had to be wanking."

"Please stop now," James was blushing furiously.

"So you're in a relationship?" Remus asked, "is it serious?"

James nodded, "are you two serious?"

"You could say that," Sirius grinned.

"I've actually been meaning to tell you guys," James said hesitantly, "my boyfriend, well, he'll actually be living with us."

"Moving a little fast there? Mate?" Sirius teased.

"With him?" James said, "it's not fast enough. I can't get enough of him, he's  just so bloody amazing."

"And we can't know who it is?" Sirius frowned, "that's just cruel."

"Sirius." Remus warned, "we'll respect James's wishes—won't we?"

"I'm just worried he's rushing it!" Sirius said, "next thing you know, he'll be telling us he's engaged."

"Oh." James blushed, "well actually..." He nervously fidgeted with the ring on his finger.

Remus and Sirius's attention were dragged to his hand and they stared in shock.

"What?"

"The fuck?"

Remus seized his hand, looking at the ring, "when?"

"It happened over Christmas." James looked down at his feet.

"You've been dating for how long?" Sirius squeaked.

"Only a couple months," James blushed, "but it's not like we're planning to get married tomorrow—just eventually."

"That's fast." Sirius panted, "that's really fast, isn't it Remus?"

"Relax." Remus rolled his eyes. "It's not you."

"I'm going to pass out. Our Prongsie is engaged." Sirius fanned himself.

"Ignore him." Remus dropped James's hand. "But it is really fast, are you sure?"

"I am."

"Is this the same fling from the beginning of the year?" Remus asked.

"Yeah," James laughed, "turned out to be a little more than a fling I suppose."

"I'd say!"

"Remus, mate, can you even be doing that," James's eyes flicked over to where the couple was just on the ground, "in your state?"

Both Remus and Sirius turned a deep shade of red.

"Actually, er—" Remus scratched the back of his neck. "Well something about the moon and the animalistic instincts that kick in..."

"Oh..." James stared, "Oh! Never mind, I really don't think I want to know."

He sat down heavily on his bed.

"You two are dating!"

They sat down across from him.

"You're gay." Sirius breathed.

"We're all gay." Remus said.

"Well shit." James nodded, "that's lovely then."

"Lily?" Sirius asked suddenly, "what the bloody hell was that about then?"

"Ahha," James cringed, covering his face, "I'm trying to pretend I didn't utter embarrass myself in front of everyone."

"I refuse to believe you've been faking that all these years," Sirius said.

"I wasn't," James said, "I've done a lot of research and I reckon I'm pansexual."

"I'm bisexual," Remus offered with a shrug.

"I'm gay." Sirius said plainly, "ragingly, fruitily, gay."

"Good to know," James laughed, "this is great. Sirius—you don't know how stressed I've been."

"Why?" Sirius laughed.

"I didn't know if you were with the whole gay agenda," James laughed, "I thought you were going to hate me."

"I could never hate you Mate," Sirius grinned, "you're my brother. You should know that."

"Yeah," James smiled nervously, "yeah, man, I know."

Chapter Text

James woke up in the hospital wing.

He was sitting awkwardly in an uncomfortable chair, with a painful crink in his neck.

Sirius was snoring next to him, his head in Remus's lap.

"Sirius," James whispered, sitting forward. His back cracked as he stretched and he grabbed his glasses from the nightstand.

"Mhm," Sirius groaned, his eyes squinting open.

"We should go get some food" James rubbed his eyes, "before class."

"You're right," Sirius mumbled, sitting up with a yawn, "should we wake him?"

James looked down at Remus uncertainly, "I don't know."

"Last night wasn't bad." Sirius said, putting a hand on Remus's knee through the blankets.

"No," James agreed, "it was alright, he might be up to it today, we can ask."

Sirius nodded and gently shook Remus awake.

"Moony," he whispered, "feel up to eating?"

Remus groaned, swatting Sirius's hand away, "that's my bad knee."

"Sorry," Sirius immediately withdrew his hand.

"Yeah, I'll go," Remus sat up, "just give me a minute, yeah?"

They nodded and waited as he took the potions that had been set out for him.

The three of them looked like hell as they left the hospital wing.

Sirius's hair was unbrushed, James's curls were every which way and Remus looked like he just barely made it off his deathbed.

James didn’t want to know what they looked like passing by groups of students who gasped and hurried away with whispers and giggles as they went.

He didn’t really pay attention to who they passed.

Until familiar eyes caught his gaze.

Regulus stepped in front of them, Barty and Pandora flanking his sides.

His arms were crossed and his eyes narrowed as he gave the three of them a once-over.

“Explain.” He raised an eyebrow.

The Marauders stared at him.

“Regulus—” Barty tried, looking terribly uncomfortable.

Regulus silenced him with the raise of a hand.

“What. Did. You. Do?” Regulus asked dangerously.

“What’s it to you?” Remus snapped, his face creasing as he frowned.

“I wasn’t asking you.” Regulus said, looking back at James. “What did you do Potter?”

“Just a prank,” James smiled sheepishly, shuffling uncomfortably on his feet. “Morning, Crouch, Lestrange.”

“Morning,” they chorused, cringing.

“We have patrol tonight,” Regulus reminded him, “don’t be late dimwit.”

“I won’t.” James said, scratching the back of his neck.

Sirius stepped forward and Regulus’s gaze hardened.

"Attento, fratellino" Sirius's eyes narrowed.

The change from English took James a second to register and he frowned with a lack of understanding.

Regulus laughed bitterly, "Pensavo di non essere più tuo fratello."

James's eyes flickered between the two uneasily. Regulus held his gaze for a lingering second and nodded.

James let out a breath of relief.

"Come on. Sirius." He said, grabbing his arm, "lets go."

He pulled him away from the group of Slytherins and into the Great Hall.

"What'd you say to him?" Remus asked.

"Nothing," Sirius said, swinging into his seat. "Nothing at all."

Remus shot James a look, but James just shrugged and sat down next to Sirius.

"James!" Lily called for his attention, "here—I saved you this."

"Treacle Tart," James grinned as Lily slid a plate over to him, "Lily Evans I love you."

"Oh, let's not start that again, yeah?" She teased.

James rolled his eyes, taking a bite of the pastry, "thank you."

She nodded and turned back to Mary.

Post came precisely on time and James watched the owls swoop by eagerly.

"Expecting something?" Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Mum hinted in her last letter that she was sending us something soon," James said, "I hope it's her baking. Merlin, I miss her baking."

A package was not delivered to a sweet-deprived James Potter, however a letter was dropped in-front of one unsuspecting Sirius Black.

"What's that?" James leaned to read over Sirius's shoulder as he broke the seal.

"I don't know," Sirius frowned, unfolding the parchment.

"Well?" Remus asked, putting down his goblet.

Sirius had gone absolutely still, his forkful of eggs frozen halfway to his mouth.

"Dear Mr. Black..." Remus started, carefully prying the letter from Sirius's hand. "...a meeting has been requested to review the state of your assets. Please send letter of your availability no later than Friday, 3rd of March..."

"Who's it from?" James frowned.

"Someone named Percival Loster," Remus said, "A Gringotts Account Manager."

"Give it to me." Sirius demanded, shaking out of his stupor.

"What?" Remus looked at him, surprised, "here."

Sirius was up off the bench in a second and a shared look between James and Remus proved they had to follow.

"Pads, Mate, what're you doing?" James struggled to keep up without breaking into a jog.

"They mixed up my mail." Sirius scowled, "this letter isn't meant for me."

They were walking towards the Slytherin table.

James fought back a groan, they had already done this once today—why again?

In his typical dramatic fashion, Sirius slammed the letter down in front of Regulus's breakfast plate.

"What's the matter with you?" Regulus spat, gravy splattered on his face.

"This is yours," Sirius growled, "they delivered it to me on accident."

Regulus picked up the letter and scanned through it before offering it back to Sirius.

"That's not mine." He said, shaking the letter for Sirius to take.

He didn't.

"What do you mean it's not yours?" Sirius scoffed, "you inherited everything, all the accounts belong to you."

"No. They don't." Regulus said, grabbing a cloth to wipe his face.

"What are you playing at?" Sirius smacked the letter out of Regulus's hand.

"You're going to need that," Regulus shrugged, "do make sure to give Loster some shite for me."

"The Gringotts Manager?" Sirius asked. "You've already met with him?"

Regulus nodded, taking a sip of his juice, "last week. I had to sort the accounts."

"So why—" Sirius grabbed the letter from where it fell a couple seats over and scanned through it once again. "So why are they writing you again?"

"They’re not writing me," Regulus said, "the envelope was addressed to you, was it not?"

"What are you saying?" Sirius's fury had faded into a panic.

"I split the Black assets," Regulus said, maintaining eye contact with his brother, "you've half—what would've been your inheritance."

Sirius had to sink into the bench across Regulus to keep from falling onto the floor.

"W-Why?" He stammered, "what do you gain from this?"

"Nothing," Regulus said, "I lose quite a bit actually."

"And Mother?" Sirius asked, "she allowed it?"

"She does not have a say." Regulus said.

"You really did this?" Sirius held up the letter, his eyes beginning to glass over, "Regulus, I don't understand..."

"Sirius if you cry right now, I will hex you." Regulus warned. "Don't think it was overly involved. I merely held up our agreement."

Sirius's mouth parted and it took him a good minute to speak.

"You remembered our promise?" He whispered.

"Schedule the meeting, Sirius," Regulus rolled his eyes, standing from the table.

"Regulus! Wait!" Sirius called after him.

Regulus didn't look back as he gestured dismissively over his shoulder.

Sirius didn't follow.

At lunch James got a letter.

He was sitting with Lily, giving Sirius and Remus some privacy in the dorm.

He held his breath as it landed on his plate.

It was the same stationary as the one Sirius had received only hours previous.

"What's that?" Lily asked.

James shook his head breaking the seal.

Mr. James F. Potter,

Your status with the following account(s) has been updated. At your earliest convenience, please schedule an appointment to collect your magical imprint.

Vault 702- Regulus A. Black

Percival G. Loster
Gringotts Manager of Accounts
Diagon Alley Location

A stupid smile spread across his face.

"What'd it say?" Lily asked.

James shook his head, folding it to fit in his pocket, "I've got to go Lily, I'll see you later."

He ran through the halls, clutching the letter in his hand.

The dot labeled Regulus Black was located in the back corner of the library and James couldn’t get there quick enough.

It was practically empty and Regulus was hidden behind stacks and stacks of books.

He looked up just a split second before he was knocked to the ground with a tackling hug.

“James!” Regulus laughed, “get off!a
Anyone can see!”

James laughed and rolled over as Regulus half-heartedly pushed him off his chest.

“Let’s get out of here,” James whispered, “go somewhere nobody can see.”

“Okay,” Regulus grinned, “I’ll meet you in my dorm.”

“Race you.” James laughed, springing to his feet, pulling his cloak out of his bag.

“Oi!” Regulus scowled, running after his now-invisible fiancé.

Ten minutes later, James had Regulus pinned against the wall.

“James!” Regulus giggled as James peppered kisses all over his face.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” James repeated over and over.

He planted a sloppy kiss on Regulus’s lips, their smiles so wide that their teeth clacked together.

“Ow,” Regulus boomed, tossing his head on James’s shoulder.

“You put me on your accounts,” James fonded, leaning further into his lover.

“I did,” Regulus mused, tangling their fingers together.

“I love you.”

“I love you,” Regulus said, “so very much.”

James made a happy noise, burying his face in Regulus’s curls.

“I would just like to let you know,” Regulus said, “that our disgustingly affectionate ways have corrupted me.”

“What?” James laughed.

“Before you I think I said ‘I love you’ twice in my life.” Regulus said, “once to my brother, and another time to the wild squirrel I raised under my bed for three months—”

“Wild squirrel—”

“It was an odd time,” Regulus huffed, “but that’s besides the point. Two times, James, I had only said that two times before and now—I mean I say it at least a dozen times a day.”

“You, my darling, are so worthy of loving and being loved,” James wrapped him in his arms, “and I will remind you over and over again until the day I die. And if you feel the need to adopt another squirrel, I will gladly accept it as our child for your sake.”

Regulus groaned, “you’re not letting that one go, are you?”

“No, nope, definitely not.” James said.

Chapter Text

"He lives!" Barty laughed, beckoning Regulus over to join them.

"Don't be dramatic Crouch," Regulus drawled.

"I see that grin," Dorcas teased, "come on Reggie boy, sit with the friends that you seem to have forgotten about."

"Since when are you guys even mates?" Regulus scowled, he dropped down next to Pandora, throwing his arm around her shoulders. "And if you call me Reggie boy again, I will cut you Meadows."

"Oh no, scary," she rolled her eyes. "Come on Black, you've said diddly squat since you've came back we need all the juicy bits."

"Not really any juice bits I'm afraid," Regulus said.

"Well what were you doing for the weeks you were missing?" Barty frowned, "let's start there, you've been dodging our questions."

"It's not pleasant," Regulus shifted uncomfortably, "there was a reason I couldn't come back."

"Feel free to share," Dorcas scoffed.

"I went into cardiogenic shock," Regulus said. "Dark magic in my blood caused a block in my arteries."

"Dark magic?" Dorcas smiled, "how'd dark magic get in your blood? Someone would've had to..."

Her voice trailed off and her grin was replaced with horror.

"Oh, darling," Pandora leaned into him.

"They mutilated me." Regulus's voice cracked, "my own family."

The group was silent as they watched Regulus teeter on the edge of a breakdown.

"I saw him," Regulus gasped, leaning forward, "he's horrible."

"You saw...you saw him?" Barty breathed, "the Dark Lord?"

Regulus nodded.

"What'd he look like?" Pandora's voice was quiet.

"He's attractive," Regulus shook his head, "tall, thin, dark hair, but he's got these horrible red eyes. He looked at me and it was like they were burning. I can still see them, every—every time I close my eyes."

His breath hitched on a sob and he buried his face in his hands, "I'm sorry."

"Regulus, have you talked to anyone about this?" Pandora whispered, rubbing his back soothingly, "have you spoken to him about it?"

"No." Regulus choked, "he's going to be so upset with me when he finds out but I can't, I can't tell him. He's got so much to worry about and his own problems to deal with."

"Regulus," Dorcas reached out to grab his hand, "the people who love you are never going to be upset if you ask for help. I promise."

"And if he isn't willing to drop everything for you, he's a shite boyfriend." Barty added.

A small laugh escaped his lips. "No, that's not the problem at all. It's the opposite really, if he had the slightest idea that something was wrong, he'll be asking how to help in a second. He's a good person, Merlin, he's fucking heaven sent. I don't know what he sees in me."

"Oi, don't put yourself down like that," Dorcas warned.

"I'm not," Regulus defended, "he's just so kind, he has a huge heart and loves with every fucking thing he has. It's utterly terrifying and fascinating at the same time. Most days I am just so bloody overwhelmed because I know he loves me and I'm horrified to think that I can fuck it all up."

"You won't fuck it all up," Pandora cooed.

"But I probably will," Regulus sniffed, "and even then he'd never leave me because he's too fucking loyal for his own good."

"Well you are dating a Gryffindor," Dorcas said, "I feel like you should've expected that."

"Bloody hell Regulus," Barty groaned, "he's a Gryffindor?"

"Afraid so," Regulus nodded.

"Do you have no class?" Barty snarled, "honestly."

"Oi! Their much better lovers in my experience," Dorcas defended, "they may be arrogant arses but they truly are great in the sack, right Reggie boy?"

Regulus glared at her.

"But really Regulus, you should tell him how you feel," Pandora said, "he can help you better than we can."

"I couldn't burden James with my problems," Regulus smiled sadly, "it wouldn't be fair."

Nobody answered for a moment, staring at Regulus in alarm.

"What?" He asked, "why're you all looking at me like that?"

"Oh no." Barty looked sickly green, like he was going to throw up at any moment.

"James." Dorcas breathed, "you're dating James Potter?"

If Regulus was panicked before, it had just increased tenfold.

"Oh shite. Oh bludgering fucking shite." He swore.

"This may be the worst news I have ever received in my life." Barty said. "Bloody hell I need to lay down—wait. Hold on. Pandora? You're not panicking? Why're you not panicking?"

He turned to Regulus and pointed at the blonde, "why isn't she panicking?"

"She knew." Regulus sighed.

"You knew!" Barty screeched.

"I knew," Pandora confirmed.

"This is fun." Dorcas grinned.

"She knew and you didn't tell me!" Barty shrieked, "what the fuck Black! We're buddies. You're my buddy, I'm your buddy. Buddies tell each other things! This is very un-buddy like of you! I am appalled."

"I'm appalled of the amount of times you've said buddy in the last half minute," Dorcas said.

"This is betrayal." Barty frowned.

Regulus gave him a look, "don't be a bitch about this Crouch."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me." Barty said. "You told Pandora first!"

"Actually he didn't," Pandora said, "I walked in on them shagging."

"Not my best moment," Regulus sighed.

"I saw you're arse." Pandora said.

"You did not see my arse." Regulus scoffed.

"Totally did, it was white as fuck," Pandora grinned.

"Oh, I see." Barty said, "why haven't I seen your arse Regulus?"

Regulus stared at him blankly. "Why—why would you want to see my arse Barty?"

"Well Pandora has, James fucking Potter has, I feel extremely left out."

"Pandora did not see my arse," Regulus clarified, "and James is allowed to see my arse. It's literally his arse, my arse belongs to him."

"This conversation took a weird turn," Dorcas said.

"Dorcas hasn't seen my arse!" Regulus turned to Barty, "see, you're not being left out of anything."

Dorcas snorted.

"What's so funny?" Barty frowned.

"I've seen Regulus's arse." Dorcas grinned.

"When?" Regulus's eyes widened.

"Oh, Honey, I saw way more than your arse." Dorcas looked amused. "Spider incident in the locker rooms, fourth year."

"Oh, oh right." Regulus laughed. "The whole quidditch team saw way more than my arse that day."

"That we did," Dorcas agreed.

"That's it." Barty said, "drop your pants Black."

"No!" Regulus laughed, "Barty, I'm not showing you my arse."

"I need to see your arse." Barty said, "I am the only one here that actually lives with you and somehow I'm still the only one who hasn't seen your arse."

"I'm not showing you my arse."

"Show me your arse."

"Just show him your arse," Pandora said, "you know he won't let it go until you do."

"I refuse this anarchy!" Regulus shrieked, "my arse will remain clothed."

"Drop your pants!" Barty demanded.

"This is harassment." Regulus backed away from Barty, who was slowly creeping forward.

"Are we even mates?" Barty threw his hands up dramatically.

"Merlin you're fucking demented," Regulus groaned. "Fine! I'll show you my arse."

"It's so white."

"Oi!" Regulus pulled his trousers back up, "everyone's arse is white."

"Not that white mate."

"Don't listen to him, Reggie. You have a very nice arse."

"Thank you Dorcas."

"It's perky." Pandora said.

"We're done talking about my arse now, yes?" Regulus asked, his face beet red.

Chapter Text

"I've been thinking...." James started.

Regulus put down his book and glanced up from where his head was laying in the Gryffindor's lap.

"Uh oh."

"No, nothing bad," James said, "but what if we came out as friends?"

"Friends?" Regulus raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," James said, "think about it, we're patrol partners so it wouldn't be all that strange, and it might help the transition with Sirius be easier if he gets used to seeing us in a more friendly setting."

"I suppose," Regulus sighed, "it's not like anyones going to put two and two together. Nobody knows that you're gay."

"About that..." James smiled sheepishly, "I might've came out."

Regulus sat up quickly, "did you? To who?"

"Sirius and Remus," James smiled.

"And?" Regulus grabbed his wrists, "how'd it go?"

"Brilliant, it went brilliantly," James said, "Sirius is more than accepting Reg, you have absolutely nothing to worry about."

Regulus hugged him, "I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you," James relaxed into his hold, "what do you think about being friends though?"

"I'm not sure," Regulus said, "how much do they know, do you think it'll be too obvious?"

"They know we're engaged," James said.

"Honestly, Darling," Regulus pulled away to look James in the eye, "why don't you just tell them?"

James tensed, "no, no, we should wait."

Regulus frowned, "you can trust them, James, they're your friends."

"The risk is still there Regulus," James shook his head, "I don't want your mother knowing where you are. I won't put you in danger like that."

"Sirius won't do that to me." Regulus whispered. "You know that James, and do you really trust Remus that little?"

"Of course I trust him, I just—I don't want to talk about it." James said.

"Okay." Regulus backed down, "I'm just saying it's your choice, that's all."

James gave him a tight smile before leaning back against the head board once again, pulling Regulus to follow.

"Your jumper." Regulus said suddenly.

James laughed, "what?"

"Your jumper. Give it to me."

"Okay," James shrugged off the burgundy jumper he was wearing and handed it over, "why?"

His bare chest was distracting and he had to repeat the question three times to finally gain a response.

Regulus dragged his eyes reluctantly up to James's face, "because I wanted it."

"Okay," James chuckled, "are you planning on giving it back later? It's quite cold down here and I'd rather not have to walk back to my dorm without a top."

"You can have one of mine I suppose," Regulus sighed, "but I'm keeping yours."

They swapped jumpers quickly, eager to cover their skin from the bitter cold and cuddle back up together.

"I can't wait to wake up with you every day," Regulus mused, pulling on his sleeves to cover his hands. "If you ever tell anyone I'm so emotional, I will not hesitate to cut your throat."

"Oh you could never." James boomed, winding his arms around Regulus's waist, "you'd miss me too much."

"Shut the fuck up Potter." Regulus groaned, "I don't like you."

"Sure Baby," James kissed his head.

"Hey James?" Regulus flipped onto his stomach, resting his chin on his fiancé's chest.

"Mhm?" James nodded.

"I've been having a hard time sleeping recently," Regulus admitted, his cheeks flushing red.

James frowned, carding his fingers through Regulus's curls. "Why? What's wrong Love?"

"Nevermind." Regulus squeezed his eyes closed, "it's nothing."

James sat up, "it's not nothing Regulus. What's the matter?"

"It's just—" Regulus trailed off, his lip starting to quiver.

James's eyes widened in alarm.

"Fuck," Regulus looked up and blinked. "I hate crying."

"Reg..." James dropped to his knees in-front of him, taking his face into his hands. "Come on, you can talk to me."

Regulus let out a chocked sob, leaning forward to wrap his arms around James's neck.

James responded immediately, wrapping him in a protective embrace, rubbing his hands up the length of his spine.

"I see him every time I close my eyes." Regulus cried, "every time James."

"You're safe now," James whispered, "he can't hurt you."

"I was so scared." Regulus coughed, "it was horrible."

"I'm here to listen," James said. "I'll help you anyway I can Love, you just need to let me know what you need."

"Right now I need you to hold me and tell me it'll be okay." Regulus sniffed, "and then forget this all happened."

"I can hold you." James whispered, "but I'm not going to pretend this didn't happen. Your feelings are important Reg."

"Okay." Regulus nodded, slipping off the couch into James's lap. "I suppose that'll work."

"Good." James said, "it's all going to be fine Reg, you'll see, we'll have a perfect life someday."

"In Venice?" Regulus whispered.

"In Venice," James kissed his head.

They both fell asleep with dreams of gondolas and bombolone.

"Wake up Loverboys! You're going to be late."

James froze and his eyes shot open.

"Go away Crouch," Regulus yawned, slinging an arm over James's chest.

Somehow they had made it to the bed during the night.

"Regulus." James whispered, "he's here...I'm here."

Regulus went stiff and his grey eyes flew open.

"Oh balls." Regulus groaned, "Barty knows."

"Barty knows?" James repeated.

"Oh I know Hotstuff," Barty winked.

James looked at Regulus in horror, "how?"

"Your name might've slipped during a meltdown." Regulus said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry?"

"You've corrupted my dear Reggie boy Potter." Barty said, "I should kill you for that."

"Not you too." Regulus flipped him off. "Don't call me Reggie boy."

"Can I call you Reggie boy?" James asked.

Regulus turned his head, narrowing his eyes at James.

"Please?" James asked.

"Fine." Regulus sighed, "only because you're cute."

"Oi! Are you saying I'm not cute?" Barty crossed his arms.

"Yes." Regulus said, "you look like a fucking troll."

"Regulus!" James scolded.

Regulus stuck out his tongue.

"Don't mind him." James said, "he's not a morning person."

"Oh, I'm well aware," Barty snorted, "but really, breakfast ends in ten, get your sorry arses out of bed—I'll see you in class Reg."

He fixed his hair in the mirror one last time before leaving, the door slamming behind him.

"So..." Regulus started.

"So." James agreed.

"Barty knows." Regulus smiled nervously.

"I see that," James nodded. "So does Pandora."

"Mhm," Regulus said, "and Dorcas."

"Regulus!" James let out a baffled noise.

"I'm sorry!" Regulus said, "I didn't mean to tell them! But they're very supportive and I think you've ought to tell your friends too!"

"Oh! That's what yesterday was about!" James scoffed, "you were just trying to trick me so I wouldn't get mad when I learned your friends already knew!"

"Well? Did it work?" Regulus asked.

"Did what work?"

"Are you mad?"

"Well—" James's brows furrowed, "well I don't actually know."

"If you don't know, you're not allowed to be mad." Regulus said.

"That's not fair." James said, "you can't tell me how to feel. You're going to have to wait for me to figure it out."

"Okay. You're right, I'm sorry." Regulus sighed, "come on, let's get dressed and go to class. We'll take time to collect our thoughts and discuss it at lunch."

James's shoulders relaxed, "okay, yeah. That's a good plan."

Regulus kissed his temple, "I love you."

Chapter Text

"Spent the night out again?" Remus laughed as James ran into Transfiguration a minute before the bell.

"Yeah," James breathed, running his hands through his hair, "thought I'd give you two the dorm to yourselves for the night."

"How thoughtful," Sirius stuck out his tongue.

James stuck his tongue out back, sliding into his seat.

"Have fun?" Sirius asked as James pulled out his books.

James let out a puff of air. "I wouldn't say that."

"Are you two fighting?" Remus frowned.

James shook his head, "it's just been a lot. We're taking a minute to cool down right now."

Sirius's eyes raised, "what?"

"I don't like fighting without gathering my thoughts," James said, "it's overwhelming, I say things that I don't mean, and he doesn't like yelling. This way we can have a calm, civilized conversation."

"So you both took a step back?" Remus said, "that's very mature."

James nodded, "yeah, it is."

"He seems good for you James," Sirius said, "even now you seem happy."

"I am happy," James agreed.

Come lunchtime, James found that he wasn't mad, just nervous.

"Come on Love," Regulus said, "it's nice outside, there's a clearing just beyond the trees."

"We can have a picnic?" James asked.

Regulus nodded, "I'll go to the kitchens and meet you outside in just a minute, is that okay?"

James shook his head, "I want to stay with you, I'll wear my cloak."

"Okay," Regulus wrapped his arms around James's shoulders, pulling him into a hug. "Are you feeling alright?"

James nodded against his chest.

Regulus kissed the top of his head, "come on then, let's go get something to eat."

They sat outside, eating sandwiches in a peaceful calm.

"I'm not mad," James said suddenly. "I never wanted to keep us a secret in the first place. I think it would be hypocritical if I was upset that you finally feel comfortable to share our relationship—and I'm proud that you're in a place where you can do that, and that you have friends that support you. But I don't think I'm there yet, I trust Sirius and Remus—you know I do. But I trusted Peter...and if something happened and it was my fault, I'd never forgive myself."

"James," Regulus said, "you can't let Peter take trust away from you. You're allowed to rely on people, and you're allowed to expect loyalty from them. What happened with Peter was not your fault."

"But—" James squeezed his eyes shut.

"No." Regulus shook his head. "Listen to me. It was not your fault."

"Then why does it feel like it is?" James's voice cracked.

"You are not responsible for his decisions," Regulus said. "You could have been the best mate in the world and he still could've done it. It is not a reflection of you as a friend, or you as a person."

"We grew up together Regulus," James said, "I didn't even see it coming. I've been horrible to him recently."

"I don't care if you killed his childhood pet purposely," Regulus said. "Nothing that you could have done would've steered him to the Dark Lord if he hadn't already begun the journey."

"Merlin." James laughed despite himself, "why does your head immediately go to murdering animals?"

"My mother killed my squirrel," Regulus sighed, "although that is a reason I despise her, it is only a small percentage."

James gasped, "the one you raised?"

Regulus nodded.

"What a bitch." James looked genuinely appalled.

"I'm not going to push you to do something you feel like you're not ready for," Regulus said. "But I don't like the idea that Peter Pettigrew is the cause of your trust issues. He's not worth that."

"I know," James hung his head, "I'm sorry."

"They're your best mates James," Regulus said, "and one of them is my brother—don't you think they have the right to know? Especially if I'm going to be living with you this summer."

"I know," James repeated, looking absolutely distraught. "I just can't. I can't do it."

"Baby steps then," Regulus said, reaching over to squeeze his knee, "and I'll support you ever step of the way."

Regulus didn't know when he became someone who cared about others.

It was probably James—the Gryffindor had already made him change in so many ways that that shouldn't be surprising, and yet somehow it still was.

Regulus was never the nurturing type, nor did he think he ever would be.

But seeing James upset killed him. He wanted to do anything—would do anything just to see him smile again.

It wasn't just James either. Regulus found himself genuinely giving a shit about the people around him.

Barty...Dora...Dorcas—even Sirius.

It was different, and part of Regulus hated it because he grew up in a place where emotion meant vulnerability—but being on the receiving side of such an immense amount of unwavering love made him feel safe with his feelings.

Something he hadn't felt ever really.

But what killed him the most wasn't any of that. It was the fact that the boy that taught him how to feel, recognize, and love his emotions was actively trying to alienate his own.

For James felt everything tenfold—the good, and unfortunately the bad, and this was definitely bad.

"I just don't know how to help." Regulus groaned, collapsing on his bunk.

Barty raised an eyebrow, "pardon?"

"James." Regulus sighed.

"Merlin's ballsack," Barty whined, "I don't reckon I'll ever get used to that."

Regulus glared.

"I'm sorry." Barty shook his head, "but it's absolutely mad. You and James Potter. Dating."

"Engaged." Regulus corrected.

Before, Barty was laying with his head hanging off the side of his bed, reading a magazine upside-down.

After, Barty was on the ground, folded in half, his jaw dropped open and eyes wide.

"Regulus." He gasped. "You didn't."

"What?" Regulus asked, his lips twitching into a grin.

"You agreed to marry that wanker?" Barty accused. "After how many months?"

"I didn't agree," Regulus got to his feet and hauled Barty to his feet. "I asked."

"You're fucking joking." Barty fell against the wall and slid to the ground.

"Oh stop being dramatic," Regulus said, "to be fair, I thought I was going to die."

"So you proposed?" Barty said.

"I planted the ring so he'd know how much I loved him incase I died," Regulus said.

“So you proposed?” Barty repeated, “even though you didn’t die?”

“Yes.” Regulus nodded.

“No.” Barty shook his head. “Regulus—you’re hardly of age.”

“Oh please,” Regulus scoffed, “I’m lucky I wasn’t married off already.”

Barty made a noise of protest.

“You know I would’ve been,” Regulus said, “and to Dora nonetheless. Besides, we’re not getting married right this second.”

“You need to learn how to halfarse things,” Barty said.

“Come off it Barty,” Regulus sighed, “yeah, it might’ve been fast, but it’s a war. That’s just how this shit works.”

“I’m not getting married.” Barty crossed his arms.

“You probably will in the next couple years,” Regulus said. “When people are constantly scared they’re going to die, big decisions such as lifelong commitments don’t seem as daunting.”

“James bloody Potter.” Barty grumbled.

“He’s got a lovely arse.”

“Regulus!” Barty cried, “for the love of all things good, no!”

Chapter Text

"James we can't be late to our own meeting," Lily sighed.

"Sorry, sorry," James sighed, "I just can't find my other shoe."

"Wear a different pair." She said.

"I don't want to wear a different pair," James said stubbornly.

"James, we really have to go." Lily said.

"Fine." James pouted, grabbing a less comfortable pair of loafers, "let's go."

When they got to the prefect's office, the majority of them were already there, lounging across the several different couches.

"'Ello mates," James grinned, tossing himself onto an armchair, "good morning, good morning, so sorry we're late."

"Is this going to take long?" Nixon Diggory asked, "I've got a Herbology paper I need to work on."

"No, it won't take long," Lily said, "this meeting is just to discuss Valentine's Day plans, James and I thought it would be nice if we arranged something fun for the students."

"Ooh," Mia Turkin, a sixth year Ravenclaw smiled, "we should do those anonymous Valentines."

"Ugh disgusting," Pandora Lestrange gagged, "besides, I don't think that would lift the spirits of the majority of students who wouldn't receive one."

"Whatever." Mia huffed.

"What about a dance?" Donald Perkins suggested.

An agreeing mumble went through the room.

"What about a masquerade?" Regulus asked, his eyes falling briefly on James.

"That would promote house unity," James said, "and nobody would have to worry about getting a date."

"I still like the idea of Valentines." Mia said.

"Yeah," Gertie Thomas agreed, "it's much more romantic."

"Besides," Etta said, "I rather believe Valentine's is about taking chances, not hiding behind some silly mask."

"Well we could just have a normal dance," Diggory said, "no masks."

"But then—"

"Alright, alright," Lily said, cutting them off. "We'll take a vote," she pulled out a piece of parchment and scribbled on it, "everyone line up. After you put down your tally you all are free to go, James and I will discuss the details with the headmaster."

She stepped back with James as they watched the rest of the prefects form a line.

James zoned out. Definitely not in the direction of Regulus's bum as he leant over the desk.

Definitely not.

"James?" Lily said in a strange voice.

"Yeah?" James shook his head and looked over at her.

"Isn't that your ring?" She whispered.

James followed her gaze, Regulus's chain had slipped out of his collar and was swinging against his chest, the ring that hung on it in plain sight.

"No, they're just similar." James said in a panic.

"I don't think so—" Lily grabbed his hand, inspecting his ring.

"Lily, they can't be the same." James said, trying to pull his hand away.

"Honestly, let me see it!" Lily scowled, sliding the ring off of James's finger.

"Evans!" James gaped, "please give me my ring back."

"I'm going to get a better look." Lily said, "don't get your knickers in a twist, I'll get it back to you, what's written inside—"

He lunged forward to make a grab for the ring but she moved it away.

"Ti amo?" She frowned, "this is Italian for I love you—right? Doesn't Sirius speak Italian?"

"Please give it back."

She handed the ring back to him and her eyes trailed over to Regulus who was now standing with his back towards them, talking to Pandora Lestrange.

"If Sirius speaks Italian it must mean that—and Regulus's ring is the same as yours—" she trailed off, her eyes wide as she turned back to James. "He gave you this?"

"Lily—"

"Why would Regulus Black be giving you a ring that says 'I love you', James? Unless—" she stared at him in blatant disbelief. "That's an engagement ring. Isn't it?"

"Lily—"

"Oh my god." Her face went pale. "Oh my god!"

"Lily!"

Regulus had turned and he shot James a questioning look.

James discretely touched his neck and Regulus's hand mimicked him, his eyes widening when he found the chain, quickly hiding it back in his shirt.

"Come on, Evans," James said, "let's go for a walk."

They walked in silence until they got out onto the grounds.

"Regulus Black?" She gasped. "I didn't even know you were—you know."

"Gay?" James laughed. "I think I'm pansexual actually."

"I knew you were seeing someone," she crossed her arms, "and I had my suspicions that it wasn't a girl—but never would I have guessed—Regulus Black. How does that even happen?"

"We have you to thank I suppose." James laughed, "making us partners and everything."

"So when I asked you out—" Lily gasped.

"We were dating, yes." James nodded.

"No!" Lily covered her face, "shit, that's mortifying. Oh, God, James, I'm so sorry."

"No, it's okay." James laughed.

"He must hate me." Lily shook her head.

"He does not." James said, "he wasn't your biggest fan for a while, I'll admit, but he got over it."

"This is mortifying." Lily gasped, "I mean...it's great, really brilliant actually, I couldn't be happier for you. But this is so embarrassing, I basically threw myself at you and you were dating Regulus Black."

"You didn't know." James said, "you have nothing to be embarrassed of. I threw myself at you for years."

"Where are you even taking me?" Lily frowned as they walked past the tree line into the forest.

"Look behind you." James gestured over his shoulder.

Regulus was several yards behind, heading inconspicuously to where they were standing.

"Oh, God, he's literally terrifying," Lily shuddered, "he's totally coming to hex me for making a move on his fiancé."

"He isn't scary." James said, "I think you'll like him, he's quite sweet really—once you get past all the sarcasm."

Lily glared at him, "I don't believe you."

"Well you don't have to seeing you'll figure it out for yourself in just a second," James said as Regulus came closer.

He stopped by James's side, giving Lily a hesitant glance.

"Evans."

"Black." She nodded nervously.

"Caught us then?" Regulus said, it was meant as a joke, but the bitter edge was not lost on the redhead.

Lily stared at him, a frown tugging on her lips. "I suppose so."

"What's wrong with her?" Regulus scoffed, turning to James.

"She thinks you're mad she asked me out." James said.

"Oh." Regulus turned back to Lily, "no, I don't blame you of course. One of the faults of a secret relationship is that it's evidently—a secret. People are hitting on James all the time, it doesn't bother me anymore."

"Oh, good." Lily breathed, "I feel so—dirty about it."

"Don't." James said, "really, you haven't done anything."

"Honestly would've been more offended if you didn't come around to him eventually." Regulus smiled, "he's hot as fuck. You would have to have no eyes if you didn't notice."

James flushed with an embarrassed groan. "Reg."

Regulus laughed, patting James's cheek affectionately.

"Does Sirius and Remus know?" Lily asked.

James's face fell, "no, they don't, if you could keep it a secret, that would be great."

"Of course!" Lily said quickly, "but don't you think they'd be supportive?"

Regulus squeezed James's arm and gave Lily a small smile, "yeah, we'll tell them eventually, right James?"

"Yeah," James tried a weak smile, "eventually."

"Okay." Lily looked confused, "well I'm happy for you guys. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

"Thanks Lils," James hugged her tightly.

"Of course," she patted his back.

Chapter Text

"Let's go to the library?" Regulus asked, pulling on a t-shirt.

"Together?" James asked.

"Yeah," Regulus nodded, tossing James his trousers, "no point of agreeing to come out as friends if we don't actually do it. Come on, get dressed."

"Alright," James sat up, "but I don't think I actually have any work."

"You'll help me with mine then," Regulus said.

"Okay," James agreed, "yeah, we can go."

James pulled on his invisibility cloak just to get out of the Slytherin dorms, stuffing it in his bag once they were in an empty corridor.

"People are looking," James whispered, trailing a couple steps behind Regulus.

"Let them." He whispered back. "We're hot."

James smiled shaking his head.

They chose a table in the back corner of the library and Regulus spread his books out.

James quickly put a silencing charm around them, settling into his chair.

"I've been having trouble casting a Patronus," Regulus said, opening his defense textbook, "every time I try, it's not even a wisp."

"Do you have the motion down?" James asked.

"I think so," Regulus nodded.

"Let me see." James said.

Regulus took out his wand.

"Damn," James sighed, "that would've been an easy fix."

Regulus pouted.

"Sorry Love," James said, "what's your happy thought?"

"You agreeing to marry me." Regulus said, a blush brushed on his cheeks.

James could've melted.

"So don't tell me I need to find a happier memory," Regulus said defensively, "I don't have one."

"Okay okay," James smiled, "try it."

Regulus raised his wand, "Expecto Patronum."

Nothing.

"I told you!" Regulus laughed, "I can't do it!"

"You can do it," James smiled, "just—"

"James?"

James and Regulus looked up and James dropped the silencing charm.

Sirius's eyes flickered in between his best friend and his brother. "What're you doing with him?"

James and Regulus's expressions had sobered immediately.

"I've told you before Sirius," James said carefully, "we're patrol partners...remember? We've been patrol partners since September."

"You're friends?" Sirius whispered.

"I wouldn't say that," Regulus snorted.

James elbowed him in the side, "we tolerate each other."

"Want to join us?" Regulus asked, "James was just helping me with my homework."

"No." Sirius said with a strange look on his face, "no, thank you."

"Okay," Regulus shrugged.

"James, Remus and I need your help with something," Sirius said, focusing his attention back on his best friend.

James looked over at Regulus, "do you mind?"

Regulus shook his head, "go ahead, I'll see you later."

"What's later?" Sirius asked.

"Patrol," Regulus huffed.

Sirius grabbed James by the wrist and practically dragged him out of the library.

"What're you doing?" Sirius whispered, swatting James on the back of the head.

"Oi." James groaned, rubbing his head, "that was uncalled for."

"You're hanging out with my death eater brother," Sirius hissed.

"He's not a death eater," James crossed his arms.

"And how would you know?" Sirius asked.

James rolled his eyes, "I checked."

"You checked?" Sirius repeated.

"Yes I checked." James said.

"How?" Sirius scoffed.

"I asked?" James offered. "I said, 'hey, Regulus, monthly arm check, roll up your sleeve please'. Simple as that."

"And he does?" Sirius frowned.

"Yep," James nodded. "Clean as a whistle."

"Oh." Sirius said, "oh well I guess that's good."

"Yeah," James agreed, "what did you guys need me for?"

"Remus and I got a new idea for a prank," Sirius said, "we need you to work out the Transfiguration of it."

"Alright." James agreed.

The Masquerade ended up winning, and with a tight turn around before Valentine's, for the prefects it was all hands on deck.

"James we need you." Lily grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him up to his own dorm.

"What?" James looked at her with wide eyes, "who's we? Why're 'we' in my room."

"Me, the girls, and Sirius," Lily said, "we can't get Sirius up the girls staircase so we set up camp in your dorm instead."

Set up camp they did.

The Marauder's room had been transformed, dresses, curling irons, and makeup pallets littered every and any open surface. Hair clips, lipgloss, heels galore.

"Oh." James said, "wow."

"Do you think you can handle curling James?" Mary asked from where she was crouched before Sirius, eyeliner in her hand.

"Curling...hair?" James asked.

"Yes," Marlene said, "I got halfway through Lily's head but I've gotta run, Mary's doing Sirius's and then she has to do her own and Lily is positively dreadful at it. I told them you curled my hair for my first date in second year."

"Okay, yeah, sure," James sat down on the edge of his bed, Lily by his feet.

"Alright, you girls look lovely, I'll see you lot later."

"Bye Marls," they echoed, leaving James, Sirius, Mary and Lily alone in the room.

They fell into a rhythm and the room was a peaceful quiet.

"Sirius Darling, whose eye are you trying to catch tonight?" Mary asked with a knowing smile.

"Remus's of course," Lily giggled.

Sirius flushed a furious red.

"Oh no need to be sheepish," Mary patted his cheek, "we see the way you look at him."

"And the way he looks at you," James added.

"James." Sirius said sharply with a glare.

James just shook his head with a laugh.

"You lot cannot tell anyone," Sirius hissed.

"Relax, we would never." Lily said. "I do think you should make a move though."

"I second that," Mary said, "what do you think James?"

"Oh, I don't know," James bit his lip, "I think Sirius has a grip on it."

Sirius covered his face with his hands.

"I feel we're missing something," Lily said, turning towards Mary.

Mary nodded, "I feel you're right Evans."

"Oh what the hell," Sirius huffed, "Remus and I are together."

Lily let out a happy squeal and clapped her hands before launching her arms around Sirius's neck.

"I knew it!" Mary cheered. "Oh we are so proud of you."

"Since when?" Lily grinned.

"It'll be a year in May." Sirius said.

Mary made a strangled noise. "Last May?"

Sirius nodded.

"Oh my God!" Lily's jaw dropped, "Mary and I have been trying to scheme ways to get you two together but you managed all on your own!"

"You girls don't give me enough credit," Sirius huffed, "I have master game."

"Remus has been trying to get with you since third year," Lily said. "Forgive me for the assumption that your game is subpar."

"James?" Sirius looked to his best friend for help.

"Don't look at me," James said, letting an auburn curl fall down Lily's back, "I was oblivious until I walked in on you guys."

"You walked in on them?" Mary cackled.

"Here," Lily got up and stumbled over to her bag, pulling out a bottle of Firewhiskey.

"Lily Evans!" James gasped, "you've been holding out on us."

Lily laughed, uncorking the bottle and taking a swig before passing it off.

"We were saving it for later," she said, "but now seems an appropriate time as any."

"To Sirius and Remus!" Mary cheered.

Lily hugged James.

"And to James and Regulus," she whispered in his ear before pulling away.

Chapter Text

James didn't thinking finding him in the crowd would be hard—but it surprised him just how instinctively it came.

The masks were enchanted to conceal the identities of the wearer—changing the tone of their voice, the structure of their features, even the color of their hair.

In some cases James could spot his friends instantly, Lily's pale blue dress now adorned on a girl with chestnut curls, or Marlene's choker on a girl by the punch bowl.

But besides his friends that he got ready with, everyone else was a mystery.

Despite that, James's eyes were almost instantly drawn to a boy with blond curls, standing on the outskirts of the dance floor wearing a perfectly tailored black suit.

As if sensing his gaze, the boy looked up and their eyes met across the room.

It was the smirk that confirmed it.

Regulus

James beamed and swept across the ballroom.

"Found you," He whispered once they were within a step of each other.

"You did," Regulus's voice was smooth as he raised a hand to delicately trace the outline of James's mask, "not too difficult I'd hope?"

"Not in the slightest," James leaned into his touch. "May I say, you look quite dashing as a blond."

Regulus threw his head back with a laugh, "have you caught a glimpse of yourself yet?" He said, a mirthful glint in his irregularly brown eyes.

"No." James was immediately taken aback with dread, "is it bad?"

"Come," Regulus took him by the hand and dragged him to the buffet table where there were polished silver plates.

James's reflection was not his own. In fact, it was quite as dreadful as he feared it to be.

His hair was a frizzy orange mess, and his skin was a red that even hours in the sun wouldn't have produced.

"Oh Merlin," James squeezed his eyes shut, hoping the image would disappear. "You look like a model and I look like a pubescent pre-teen."

"It's just the mask," Regulus assured him, trying to choke down laughter, "it'll only last the night Love."

He brought his hand up to his lips and brushed a kiss upon them.

"We're together in public," Regulus whispered, his mouth stretching into a smile, "I'd like to enjoy it. Dance with me?"

James didn't have to be asked twice.

They danced the entire evening, holding each other, smiling, free of any care in the world.

It's how things should be.

It's how they hope they one day will be.

Midnight came far too quickly, and with a warning that masks will be removed, James and Regulus were quick to remove themselves from the celebrations.

"Can I come back to yours?" James asked with a yawn. "My bunk is covered in makeup and hair stuff—the girls were getting ready in our dorm."

Regulus wrapped his arm around James's waist, coaxing him to use him as a support.

"Of course," Regulus said, slowing his pace, "we'll have a late lie in tomorrow."

"That sounds lovely," James said, closing his eyes and burying his face in Regulus's neck, trusting him to guide him through the empty corridors. "I love dancing with you."

Regulus squeezed his hip in response.

Back at the dorm they stripped out of their formal wear, adorning over sized tees instead before climbing under the plush blankets, exhaustion settling over them both.

"Goodnight." Regulus whispered. James was already asleep.

February faded into March and the winter turned to spring.

James loved the Spring, and March was his favorite month.

Both his and Remus's birthdays fell in the third month of the year—and every year it was always a celebration.

He wasn't expecting this year to be any different—however, things don't always go how they are supposed to.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, please stay after class." McGongall said.

"What's that about?" Remus frowned, tucking his textbook into his bag.

"Dunno." Sirius frowned. "We'll see you back at the dorm then."

"I can wait if you'd like?" Remus offered.

"That's okay," James said, "don't know how long this'll take."

Remus nodded, "see you."

"Bye," Sirius said.

The classroom emptied quickly until it was only the two of them and McGonagall left.

"What do you reckon we did?" Sirius whispered as she gestured them forward.

"I don't know." James shrugged.

"Have a seat," she summoned two extra chairs to her desk.

"Whatever it is, we didn't do it Professor." Sirius smiled sheepishly.

"I'm afraid that's not why I asked you here Sirius," McGonagall's face was grim.

James and Sirius exchanged a nervous look.

"What happened?" James said, trying to keep the panic out of his voice.

"Your parents have come down with a nasty case of dragon pox," McGonagall said, "they have been relocated to St. Mungo's."

"My—my parents?" James stammered.

"Are they going to be okay?" Sirius's eyes were wide, his fingers nervously tapping on his knee.

"I do not know." McGonagall sighed, "I have set up a direct link to the hospital from my fireplace, you two are excused from your classes for the rest of the week."

"Thank you," James's voice shook, "can we go now?"

McGonagall nodded, "I will inform Mr. Lupin."

"Can he come too?" Sirius said in a weak voice.

"I'm afraid he must stay," McGonagall said, "he is not a legal ward of theirs."

Sirius nodded feebly.

"The fireplace is just back here," she gestured them to follow, offering her pot of Floo powder.

"You go first," James nudged Sirius.

"Okay," he nodded, stepping forward, "St. Mungo's."

"Mr. Potter?" McGonagall raised an eyebrow as he didn't follow.

"Professor?" James asked weakly.

"Yes?" She nodded.

"Can you tell Regulus what's happened? About my parents and where we've went?"

"Regulus Black?" She couldn't mask the surprise on her face.

"Yes." James confirmed, "he's—err—he's living with me now. My parents and I, I mean. Sirius...Sirius doesn't know yet."

She tamed her expression and nodded, "I will tell him."

"Thank you." James flushed, looking at his feet, embarrassed. "Tell him not to come, please, he's going to want to but tell him we can't risk."

"Don't worry, James," McGonagall smiled sadly, "I will handle it."

James nodded, stepping into the fire.

"St. Mungo's."

James had been to the hospital many many times growing up, watching his mother flutter around in her uniform, tending to the injured and ill.

He’d lurk in her shadow, observing silently as people grew sicker and as people slowly regained their color. He watched people come and people go, but the worst part of all was the people who never got to leave.

There was something different, however, seeing the frail bodies of his own parents laying in the hospital cots that were oh so familiar to him.

It was almost unbearable.

Sirius had his hand in James’s as they sat at their parent’s bedsides, listening to nothing but the frantic rhythm of their breathing, matching that of the machines.

The healers came in ever fifteen minutes, and an update was given at the top of each hour.

Steady progress, no progress, a slight decline.

James could hardly pay attention to the Mediwitch who spoke with a soft tone and gazed at them with kind eyes. His mind was too preoccupied—lost in the spiral of what could be. What could happen if his parents didn’t get better.

It was around six, they supposed, when the same Mediwitch brought them trays of supper.

Bangers and mash with gravy and turnips and a glass of cider.

“Turnips,” Sirius looked at his plate in disgust. “Ugh.”

James had to agree.

After a day of eating very little, a large serving of roasted turnips was the opposite of appetizing.

He pushed his tray away and leaned closer to his mother’s bed, grasping one of her hands in his.

It was cold to the touch and her skin had a lasting green hue.

They were no longer contagious—the healers had made sure of that. However, James didn’t think that he’d care even if they were.

He knew they wouldn’t if it was him.

“It doesn’t feel real.” Sirius whispered, fixing Monty’s blanket.

“No,” James said, “it doesn’t.”

“They’ll be okay,” Sirius said quietly, “I know they will.”

“Yeah,” James sighed, “yeah, Pads, sure.”

Chapter Text

"McGonagall is calling for you, Black." Lucinda said.

"Did she say what for?" Regulus frowned, pulling his shirt over his chest.

Lucinda shook her head, "no, but she said it's urgent."

"Okay," Regulus nodded, "thanks."

Lucinda nodded, turning towards the showers.

"Regulus!" Lily Evans came running down the hill.

Regulus's eyes widened as she came to a halting stop before him.

"Lily?" He asked, "is something wrong?"

"I don't know," Lucy said in a panic, "James and Sirius—they're missing, we—well I was wondering if you knew where they are?"

"What do you mean they're missing?" Regulus said, "where's Remus?"

"Upstairs," Lily said, "he doesn't know anything either, McGonagall held them after class and we haven't seen them since."

"McGonagall?" Regulus began to panic, "she's just called for me."

"Oh, good." She breathed, "you can ask her then."

"You don't think something happened to James?" Regulus laughed nervously, "is this a prank? He knows I hate when he does that."

"I'll walk with you." Lily said in a tone that told him it wasn't a prank.

"Fuck." Regulus swore, "he's going to put me in an early grave."

"I'm sure they're fine," Lily said as they walked a little quicker towards McGonagall's office.

"Do you think I'm being summoned for James or Sirius?" Regulus asked quietly, "do you think he told her?"

"I don't know." Lily shook her head, "could be either I suppose."

"Bludgering fuck." Regulus tried to take deep breaths to compose himself. "Would you mind horribly coming in with me?"

"Of course," Lily smiled supportively, "and I'll let Remus know what's going on."

"Okay, okay," Regulus shook his head as he rose his hand to knock, "maybe it's nothing, yeah?"

"Yeah," Lily agreed.

"But what if it's something?" Regulus asked.

"We won't know until you knock," she said soothingly.

"You're right." Regulus turned back to the door. "I can't do it, you do it." He said with a gasp.

Lily nodded and knocked on the wooden door.

"Come in." McGonagall's voice sounded.

Lily opened the door and the two of them filtered into the office.

"Miss Evans?" McGonagall looked between Regulus and Lily curiously.

"I asked her to come with me," Regulus blurted out.

"Very well," McGonagall nodded, "have a seat."

"Are they alright?" Was the first question out of Regulus's mouth.

"I told him James and Sirius were missing," Lily explained when it was clear McGonagall didn't know how to respond.

"Yes," she nodded, "Mr. Black and Mr. Potter remain in perfectly well health. However, Mr. Potter asked me to inform you that his parents are in the hospital with Dragon Pox. I am not aware of the situation in its entirety, however, we were informed that their state is dire. Being legal wards of Mr. and Mrs. Potter, your brother and Mr. Potter left earlier this afternoon to attend to them at St. Mungo's."

Regulus looked at Lily in a panic before whipping his head back to face McGonagall.

"Effie and Monty are in the hospital?" He reiterated, "I'm their ward too, I should be there."

"As that may be," McGonagall said slowly, "you are not recognized as their ward through the ministry. I'm afraid we can not permit you to leave the premises at this time. It was also at request of Mr. Potter—James, that is—that you remain here."

"He—" Regulus stammered, "he what?"

"It was Mr. Potter's insistence that it would be too risky for you to join the pair of them at Saint Mungo's."

"But—"

"I'm sorry Mr. Black, it is out of my hands," McGonagall said.

"I really ought—"

"Regulus." Lily hissed, shooting a glare.

Regulus face set deeper into a frown but he nodded. "I understand. When will they be back?"

McGonagall shook her head, "I don't know, they've been given the week but if circumstances change I'm sure the headmaster will be reasonable as he was when you received the extended holiday."

"Thank you Professor," Lily said.

McGonagall nodded, "will you inform Lupin for me Miss Evans?"

"Yes ma'am," Lily said.

"Thank you," Regulus grumbled, letting Lily drag him out of the office.

"Fucking bludgering fuckface." Regulus swore as the door closed behind them. "I'm going to fucking murder that boy."

"No you're not." Lily sighed.

"Genuinely what the actual fuck," Regulus tugged at the ends of his hair, "he cockblocked me from being there for him and his parents. But Sirius gets to be there."

"McGonagall said it herself," Lily said, "legally, you're not their ward, you wouldn't have been able to go either way."

"This is shite." Regulus groaned, "what if they don't make it? James isn't going to be able to handle that—fuck I don't even think I'm going to be able to handle that."

"St. Mungo's has the best healers in the entire continent," Lily said, "they're in good hands."

"Evans, they're old," Regulus said, "they had James late in life."

"And from what James says their tough arses," Lily said. "James is too, it'll be okay."

Regulus shook his head, "James is more sensitive then he lets on. And he worships Effie and Monty, they're his rock."

Lily shook her head, "you're his rock. No matter what happens, you'll be there to help him through it, right?"

"Of course." Regulus scoffed, "but—"

"Then he'll be okay." Lily cut him off, "why don't you try and relax, maybe get some rest if you can. I'll go and tell Remus what's happened."

"Yeah right." Regulus scoffed, "I'm about to write a scathing letter."

"Don't be too harsh," Lily pat his arm, "or maybe just wait to send it."

"We'll see." Regulus chewed the inside of his cheek, "I'll see you later Evans."

"Bye Regulus," Lily smiled softly, "I'm here if you need anything."

Regulus nodded, promptly turning and walking away from the ginger.

"What's the matter with you?" Pandora asked as Regulus stalked into his dorm.

"Why're you in my room?" Regulus raised an eyebrow.

"Dorcas is shagging her girlfriend." Pandora said.

"And the common room wouldn't do?" Regulus asked, hanging up his cloak.

"It was too loud," Pandora yawned, "I wanted a nap and your bed is comfy."

"I'm glad I could be of service," Regulus bit, "I thought Dorcas wasn't doing labels."

"She can't hear me can she?" Pandora rolled her eyes. "Why're you in a mood?"

"Nothing." Regulus frowned, changing into a pair of pajamas.

"Don't do that." Pandora groaned, "come on, spill."

"The Potters are in the hospital and James and Sirius went to see them." Regulus said finally, as he climbed into his bunk besides his best friend.

"Oh, Reg," Pandora's hand went to his curls, "I'm so sorry."

"I'm scared they're not going to make it." Regulus whispered, squeezing his eyes closed.

"I know Darling," Pandora said, "but if they don't, they went surrounded by love and escaped the dreadful tragedy that we'll all have to weather in these next few years. The war is brewing, if I were old, I'd like to leave this life now I think. While the good memories still outweigh the bad at least."

Regulus felt like he couldn't breath.

"Merlin Lestrange," he grasped at his chest struggling to pull air into his lungs. "What the fuck?"

"Oh," Pandora's face fell, "I've don't it again—haven't I?"

"I just need a breather," Regulus stumbled to his feet, "Merlin's balls."

"Oh I'm not helping at all," Pandora laughed nervously, "let me just get out of your way. I-I'll see if I can find Barty."

“No, no.” Regulus shook his head, “it’s fine, I’m fine.”

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Chapter Text

"James?" Sirius pressed a glass of water into his best mate's hands. "It's your turn."

"Thanks." James downed the cup in one gulp. "You okay?"

Sirius nodded, "yeah, you?"

"Yeah, fine." James grunted, standing from the uncomfortable hospital chair he'd been residing in for the past four days.

'Stable for now'. Is what the healers had told them.

For now.

James hated the indefinite.

'I don't know'
'We're unsure'
'There's a possibility'

Life would be so simple without the color grey.

"But life in black and white is no life at all," is what his father said as James sat between his parent's hospital beds.

They were sending him and Sirius back to school today—away from them and the uncertain.

"Grey is all the bits that make life worth living," Effie said, "it's love, its understanding, its surprise, its loyalty, its friendship, its growth. Seek the grey Jamie and you'll never be afraid."

"My solace is rather Black," James let his lips turn into a half smirk.

"Better get back to it then," Monty laughed weakly, "always the jokester; my son is."

He squeezed James hand as tightly as his frail body could manage.

"I can't do it without you guys." James squeezed his eyes closed and tilted his head back, "don't make me do it without you."

"Oh Love," Effie said, the warmth rolling through her words, "you are capable of so much more than you believe to be."

"Please Mum," James choked back a sob, "please don't leave me."

"I'd never leave you sweet boy," Effie smiled through her tears, "not for as long as you need me."

"You promise?" James said.

"Effie—" Monty warned.

"I promise." Effie said steadily. "Now off you go, you've got that life of yours waiting for you."

"I love you," James said, embracing both of his parents, hardly finding the will to back away.

"We're so proud of you James." Monty said, "so proud."

The corridors were empty when James and Sirius got back to the castle, it was just past curfew and the silence was maddening.

"I'm going to bed." James said, turning in the direction of their dormitory, "are you coming?"

Sirius shook his head.

Blacks were known for being restless.

Perhaps that's how a particular pair had crossed paths on that particular night.

Regulus had been having a hard time sleeping.

He hated admitting that fact, one: because it made him appear weak. Two: the reason was most definitely because he missed James and there was only one solution to that issue.

So Regulus laid in the center of the grass on the practice field, wrapped up in James's sweater and talked to the stars.

It was dumb, he knew that, the stars couldn't hear him, nor offer any sort of conversation. But it was a comfort, and he wasn't willing to let it go just yet.

He first spoke to the stars when he was six.

Sirius had taught him how.

"They'll hold all your secrets Reggie," Sirius had whispered in the dark. "All of them, even the ones you'll forget."

That was the first time Regulus had ever seen a shooting star.

"Do those hold your secrets too?" Regulus had whispered as they sat huddled together on a window ledge.

Sirius had shook his head, "those hold wishes," he said, poking Regulus in the side, "when you see one, you make a wish. If you're really lucky, it might come true."

"Really?" Regulus's eyes went wide.

"Really." Sirius had grinned.

Sirius had changed so much in the following years, however, that grin never did.

"Shooting star."

The whisper made him jump and Regulus's eyes flew open just in time to see a streak against the dark night sky.

For the first time, the Black brothers’ wishes were the same.

"What're you doing out here?" Regulus accused, propping himself up on his elbows. "Did you just get back?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow as he lowered himself to lay down besides his brother.

"You noticed I was gone?" He asked.

Regulus's cheeks grew hot. "It would've been difficult not to." He mumbled, "where'd you go?"

Sirius shook his head.

Regulus laid back down and closed his eyes.

"Why'd you tell me what you did on the platform?" Sirius said.

There was a silence.

"Don't make a sarcastic joke please," Sirius said quickly. "I want to know."

Regulus let out a breath.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

The words fell like stones between them.

Regulus grabbed his broom and rose to his feet, "forget about it, okay?"

"Regulus—" Sirius scrambled to his feet to follow.

"I said forget it," Regulus said irritably, "it's late, I can give you a detention for being out after curfew you know."

"Why do you have to be such a prick?" Sirius scowled, "even after everything?"

Regulus was about an inch taller than his brother, but he reckoned he'd always feel small under Sirius's glare.

Sirius stepped back, his expression wavering, "you got tall. Taller than me."

"I've been taller than you," Regulus scoffed, trying to stay stoic under the scrutinizing gaze.

Is that—" Sirius frowned, his eyes coming to a halt. "Is that James's jumper?"

Regulus looked down at his chest and shrugged as he put his broom back in the shed.

"Probably." He said.

"Why do you have James's jumper?"

"I was cold." Regulus drawled.

"So you took it?"

"I asked for it, but sure."

"But why?"

"I. Was. Cold." Regulus said, "I'm sure you can relate. It's probably a result of the fucking inbreeding."

"So you're just...wearing it?"

"Yes?" Regulus locked the door, and pulled his arms around himself, "is that a problem?"

"Don't you have your own jumper?" Sirius asked.

"Yep."

"Are you going to give it back?"

"Maybe."

Regulus had started to walk towards the castle now, Sirius still following him a couple paces behind.

"When?"

"When what?"

"When are you giving it back?"

Regulus gave him a look over his shoulder, "does it matter?"

"Well it's not yours. You should probably give it back."

"I don't think James cares." Regulus said, "if he wants it back he can feel free to ask for it."

"That's his favorite one." Sirius said.

Regulus hummed, "is it?"

"Yes. It is." Sirius insisted. "You know what, just give it to me now and I'll get it to James."

"Yeahhh—" Regulus threw a look over his shoulder. "I think not. Thanks for the offer though dear brother. Have a good night."

"Regulus!" Sirius grabbed him by the wrist, spinning his brother to face him.

"I'm in no mood Sirius," Regulus sighed, pulling his arm away. "I didn't steal the sweater. James gave it to me, we get on well, deal with it."

Sirius stumbled over his words and Regulus just shook his head.

"Goodnight."

Regulus would like to say he walked away dignified, but in reality he fled.

"Regulus? It's late?" Dora yawned, opening the door for him to enter.

"He's a idiot." Regulus groaned, "how am I related to such a fucking halfwit."

"What?" Pandora scratched her head, "who? Sirius?"

"What happened now?" Dorcas mused, lighting the lantern on their bedside table.

"He recognized my sweater." Regulus huffed, plopping onto Pandora's bed "fucking finally."

"Yay!" Pandora cheered, "that's good then isn't it?"

"They're back?" Dorcas asked.

"One would think," Regulus scowled, "and apparently they just got in—but he didn't think anything of it except that I needed to give it back."

"He's no closer to figuring it out?" Dorcas asked.

Regulus shook his head, "no. He hasn't have the slightest clue."

"He does know James is engaged to a man right?" Pandora asked.

"He does," Regulus confirmed. "He knows that I go to school here too."

"Can you imagine someone else wearing your fiancé's jumper?" Dorcas scoffed. "Honestly. What about Lupin, I thought he was the bright one."

"More like the oblivious one." Regulus grinned, "but have you seen how he looks at food. I'm convinced that's his only passion in life."

"You've noticed it too!" Dorcas shouted, causing them to jump. "Thank Merlin I can finally talk about it—there's no way that boy is human. Have you noticed it too Dora?"

"No." Pandora said, "but I also don't spend my meals stalking Gryffindor like you two do."

"Sure...be judgemental." Regulus teased sliding over as she slid into the covers next to him, "but if I recall, last year you spent all your meals gazing at Ravenclaw."

"Whatever." Pandora huffed.

"How'd you run into him?" Dorcas asked.

"He found me." Regulus said, "I think we had a, an I don't know...bonding moment? Possibly?"

"Oh?" Pandora nudged him, "that's good? No?"

"I suppose?" Regulus shook his head, "I'm not sure I know what to think."

"Sleep on it." Dorcas extinguished the flame, "you'll have a better grasp in the morning."

"I hope that's true." Regulus whispered.

Chapter Text

"Happy Birthday!" James and Sirius body slammed into Remus with wide grins on their faces.

"Penblwydd Hapus!" Sirius cheered, kissing all over Remus's face.

"Augh." James groaned, rolling until he fell onto the floor with a bang, "I'm right here."

"Diolch i chi fy seren," Remus pulled Sirius in for a kiss.

They broke apart with a smack and Remus laughed turning his head, "you too James, thank you."

"No kiss for me?" James stuck out his tongue.

"Oi. This one's mine," Sirius said, "you have your own."

James rolled his eyes, climbing to his feet.

"We brought you breakfast," he said, grabbing the tray off of his desk, "chocolate waffles this morning."

"Cheers," Remus grinned at the waffles stacked 6 high.

"How does that fit in you?" Sirius looked uncertain as Remus stabbed into the stack.

"I've got a big mouth." Remus said through a mouthful of food, "you of all people should know that."

"Moony." James let out a fake sob, covering his ears, "why?"

"Oh shut it Prongs," Sirius said, "it's not like you've never sucked cock."

"Ahh!" James squeezed his eyes shut, "I don't want to talk about it when it's about my best mates though!"

"Prude," Remus stuck out his tongue. "What time did you guys get back? I wasn't expecting you until lunch at earliest."

"Couldn't miss our Moony's special day," James grinned, hoping the glamour hiding the dark smudges beneath his eyes had held through the night. "We got back early morning."

"Had to be back in time for Minnie's class," Sirius chimed.

"How are they?" Remus put down his fork.

"Better." James sighed heavily, "stable at the moment, but—"

"They don't know what's going to happen," Sirius finished. "It's like throwing darts on a dartboard...we're just hoping one of the treatments stick."

"They're strong." Remus said, "and so are you. Both of you."

"It's your birthday Moons," Sirius kissed Remus's temple, "we'll save our woes for a rainy day...today is far too precious."

"We should have a quiet night in," Remus suggested, leaning into Sirius's form. "I don't need a party, I promise."

"Nonsense." James scoffed, "nothing but the best for our Moony—unless, of course if this is your way of saying you wouldn't like an awesome, once in a lifetime, absolute rager of a birthday."

"As if." Sirius snorted. "Everyone knows Remus Lupin can't turn down a party. He's an animal...literally."

Remus looked at him in disgust, "that was such a horrid joke." He said, "don't even touch me, you've lost your privileges."

Sirius threw his head back in booming laughter as Remus shoved him off the edge of the bunk.

"Come on," James smiled, "we have to get ready or we're going to be late to class."

"Yeah," Remus said, "yeah, alright."

Only one of three Marauders managed to get to Transfiguration however. The moment James and Sirius attempted to step into the classroom, a cross Minerva McGonagall blocked the doorway.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, back to your dormitories this instant." She then turned to Remus and her expression softened, "Happy birthday Mr. Lupin."

"Thank you Professor." Remus smiled.

"You two," she turned back to James and Sirius. "Back to bed this instant."

"It's alright Minnie, we're fine." James said.

"Yeah, we're just peachy," Sirius added, "besides, we've already missed too much."

"I will worry about that Mr. Black." McGonagall said, "we will schedule additional lessons if needed, but my greatest concern right now is the both of you getting proper rest. Now march. I do not want to see either of your faces until supper at the earliest."

"Ma'am yes ma'am," Sirius saluted.

"March Mr. Black," McGonagall said, a gleam of amusement in her eyes.

James and Sirius made a spectacle for the students in the hall, marching dramatically back towards the Gryffindor tower.

There was many things James and Sirius could've done with their day off, but alas, Minerva McGonagall was precisely correct (as she typically was), and their five minute 'eye rest' turned into a seven hour 'nap'.

After all, they had an awesome, once in a lifetime, absolute rager of a birthday party to rest up for.

"James," Marlene shook his arm, "James wake up, I brought you some dinner."

James sat up and rubbed his eyes, "Marls? What time is it?"

"Around six," Marlene said.

"Where is everyone?" James accepted his glasses from her offering hand as he surveyed the empty dorm.

"Dinner," Marlene said, "Sirius came down an hour ago...said he didn't have it in him to wake you, but I figured you'd want to eat before the party starts. I've your favorite."

"Again, not my favorite." James laughed as he saw the plate, "it's your favorite Marls."

"You don't say," Marlene grinned, "well I must have great taste then."

Fish and chips. Marlene, James, and Peter's staple from their adolescent years.

"I also wanted to talk to you," Marlene said, "I feel like we haven't had a chance to talk...since everything happened and all."

"I suppose I've been quite busy," James sighed, lazily taking a chip from the plate.

"I heard about your parents," Marlene said, "how're they? How're you?"

"Been better." James sighed.

"You'll be okay," Marlene said, "you always are."

"Yeah," James put on a smile, "I'll be fine."

"Oh, don't do that," she shook her head, "please? Not with me."

"I'm not doing anything." James said stubbornly.

"You're masking." Marlene said. "How're you doing, really?"

"I'm tired." James said, "and frustrated, and bitter, and quite honestly doing the fucking worst I have been ever."

"Because of Peter?" The name rolling off Marlene's tongue so easily—the familiarity of a childhood friend—made James flinch.

"He came to speak to me the other day you know," Marlene continued. "He wanted to know where you and Sirius were."

"Did you tell him to fuck off?" James spat.

"Oh, properly so." Marlene agreed, "kicked him in the bullocks for good measure as well. I think I really drove my point home."

"Good." James's lips twitched. "I love you Marls."

"Oh, don't get all sappy on me Jamie," Marlene smiled. "Besides, if my suspicions are correct, you've been absolutely besotted with a certain somebody...and if that's the case, I don't see how you have too much love remaining for the likes of me."

James's face flushed a furious red. "I refuse to comment on that accusation."

"Oh! I was correct then." Marlene gave him a devious smirk. "Is she pretty?"

"What?" James sputtered.

"Pretty. Yes or no?"

"Yes?"

"Is she a Gryffindor—wait no, a Ravenclaw? I would know if she were a Gryffindor."

"Marlene—" James started, his voice edged with annoyance.

"Is she in our year?" Marlene pressed, "come on Jamie boy, tell me all about this girl of yours. Does she have red hair just like Lily? Oh my Merlin, is she Lily?"

"It's not Lily." James bit out, "now if you'll hold on just one moment—"

He was frantically trying to collect his thoughts but Marlene was just too quick.

"How'd you meet her?" She asked, "does she play quidditch?"

James didn't answer.

"Does the boys know about her?" She continued, "you two have shagged, yes?"

His eyes went wide, and his tongue turned sharp. "Marlene—"

"I'll take that as a yes," Marlene hummed, satisfied, "was she any good then?"

"Stop!" James roared, anger boiling up in his bones, his face red and fists clenched.

"James?"

"What makes you so convinced they're a she?"

Marlene stammered, staring at James in shocked, frozen in place with her eyes wide and her mouth opened.

"You're being rude, McKinnon." James shook his head, "I don't owe you any explanations, frankly, it's none of your business."

"Is it not a girl James?" Marlene asked quietly.

"Does it matter?" James rolled his eyes.

"Yes." Marlene's voice was oddly quietly, and she avoided his gaze.

He frowned. "Wow. I wouldn't have thought you to be like that, Marlene."

"Like what?" She looked up with a frown.

"Homophobic." James spat.

"I'm not!" Marlene gasped, "James! I promise, I'm not."

"Then why does it matter?" James growled, "am I not allowed to fancy boys?"

"No! No, that's not it at all!" Marlene said in a panic, "it's just—" her lip trembled, "it's just, I never met anyone else like me. Not that I knew of anyways."

"What?" James looked at her confused, "what do you mean?"

"You know Dorcas?" She whispered, "Dorcas Meadows?"

He was surprised to look over to see she was crying now, furiously wiping at her eyes with her sleeve.

"I'm sorry," she sniffed, "I don't cry—I've just, I've been keeping this in for so long."

"Are you and Dorcas—?" James asked carefully, "are you two together."

"No." Marlene's eyes widened. "Damn, I mean yes. I don't know...it's so hard for me to actually say it out-loud, you know?"

James grabbed her hand with a supportive smile, "I'm queer." He said.

"I'm—" she stammered before breaking into a sob, "I'm sorry—I—I can't!"

"It's ok, Marls," James pulled her into his chest as she cried, "it's a lot to come to terms with—trust me, I would know."

"But you're so straight!" Marlene gasped wetly, burying her face into his shoulder, "I would've never guessed-"

"Oi! I can like men and keep my overbearing masculinity." James said.

"I suppose that's true." Marlene concluded, "you're very masculine—is your—er—your partner? Is he feminine?"

"Not really," James smiled, "we're both secure in our masculinity I'd say."

"Sometimes I feel like a boy." Marlene whispered, "I know I'm a girl—and I like being a girl, but sometimes I forget—I don't feel right in my own skin. Do you feel like that too?"

She looked at him hopefully and it killed him to shake his head 'no'.

"Oh." Marlene sniffed. "Just me then."

"It's not just you." James said, "there's books about this type of stuff, Marlene, they're in the library, that's how I figured everything out. I can take you there, if you'd like?"

"Maybe." Marlene mumbled, "not today."

"Okay," James agreed, "not today. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I think so," Marlene nodded, "if you have time?"

"Yeah," James smiled, "yeah, we've got all the time in the world Love."

Marlene readjusted her position on James's bed and took a deep shaky breath.

"How'd you know?" She asked, "that you were—you know?"

"Remember that incident in the locker room a few months back?" James blushed, "when I had my issue?"

"Yeah." Marlene snorted wetly as she wiped her eyes on her jumper sleeve.

"That was right after I figured it out really," James rubbed the back of his neck, "my boyfriend—I suppose you can say he was my gay awakening."

"Your boyfriend?" Marlene grinned, "I was right then—albeit a little off dick-wise."

James laughed, "fiancé, I should say," he gestured to his ring.

Marlene stared at him, "you're fucking joking with me James Potter. You're engaged?"

"Honest." James grinned.

"Since when?!"

"December."

"December!" She gasped, "this is it for you then?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "this is it for me. Tragedy, it is, James Potter is officially off the market."

"Who's the lucky guy?"

"That is classified, McKinnon," James winked, "not even the boys know yet."

"You're keeping it a secret?" She raised an eyebrow, "how come?"

"I don't want to talk about it," James said apologetically, "it was a mutual decision."

"Okay," she nodded.

"How'd you know?" James asked.

"Hell, I reckon I didn't." Marlene gave a weak laugh, "not until she had me pinned against the wall I suppose, and even then I was in denial."

"That's one way to have a gay awakening." James grinned, "I had a similar experience actually. Bloody hell, this is embarrassing—you can't tell anyone."

"I won't." Marlene said eagerly, "tell me!"

"Well by this point, I already figured I wasn't straight, but we got into an argument, I found out he was queer, and in the heat of the moment, I kissed him. That really confirmed it for me, I suppose.  I already knew, but that was the first time I had acted on it."

"Well obviously it worked out for you!" She laughed.

"Not how you'd think." James laughed, "he was majorly pissed off."

"Well, considering you're getting married, I'd assume he got over it."

"He did." James laughed. "Listen, Marls, life is too short. Love who you love, boys, girls...both...and if anyone gives you shit about it, hex them."

"Thanks, James," she leaned into his side, "I think this really helped."

"I'm glad," he said, running a hand through her hair.

"Why is being queer so hard?" She whined.

"Because people suck." James soothed, "tell me about Dorcas."

"Oh, she's brilliant." Marlene scoffed, "dunno why she's sticking with me, I'm a mess. Don't even know what I want."

"It's okay that you're figuring it out," James said.

"Yeah, but it's not okay that I treat her like something to be ashamed about," Marlene said, "I'm not, ashamed of her—I don't want to be, I'm just—"

"I think you should talk to Sirius." James said suddenly.

"What? Are you mad?" Marlene scoffed, "I don't want more people to know."

"No, I'm not kidding," James said, "he'll probably be able to help more than me, you guys were raised with the same ideology."

"But he's not queer." Marlene argued.

"Doesn't matter." James shook his head, "talk to him."

"How do you know he'll be okay with it?" Marlene asked, "like you said, the ideology we were raised with..."

"He's okay with it," James smiled, "trust me. He knows about me too."

"Okay." She breathed, "yeah, okay, I'll talk to him."

James smiled, reaching out to squeeze her hand. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Cap." She smiled, tears pooling in her eyes. "Come on, we've got a party to put together before you make me cry even more."

"I'll be right down," James said, "I've got to change."

Marlene nodded, taking her leave.

"Finish your dinner," she called as she closed the dormitory door.

Remus Lupin's birthday was one of the highlights of every school year.

All of the boys loved a party, but nobody could love a party as much as Remus.

For being the most reserved of the three, those tendencies were quickly stripped when a crowd gathered and alcohol was distributed.

James adored watching Remus let loose, belting out the lyrics to 'Starman' by David Bowie and forcing Sirius to dance with him, wild and unrestricted.

As the night progressed into early morning, the common room began to clear as students retired to bed.

James lounged on an armchair, alcohol buzzing in his head, and a content smile on his face.

Marlene was walking over to him and he grinned wider, he had assumed that she had taken his advice and he spotted her and Sirius over in a corner not to long before.

"You're a fucker, James Potter." Marlene laughed, throwing herself down into the armchair beside him.

"Talked to him then?" James laughed, "he was okay with it?"

She glared at him, "yes. He was okay with it."

"Told you he'd be." James winked.

"You could've told me!" Marlene protested, "I was nearly shitting myself getting the courage to go up to him. Took five shots to even consider the suggestion."

"It wasn't my place to tell you," James defended, "I'd never steer you in the wrong direction, McKinnon, you should know that."

"I do." She smiled fondly at him, "you're good people, James Potter."

"You are too, Marlene McKinnon," James gave her a toothy grin, "feel better then?"

"Much." She sighed with an easy smile, letting her eyes flutter closed, "I couldn't even begin to tell you how twisted up I've been about this. Was it like that, for you?"

"Ahh," James's face twisted into an awkward expression as he scratched the back of his neck. "I hate to be that arse, but not really, no. I dunno...I was surprised I suppose but not really at the same time? Once I realized I didn't even think twice about it, I'm me and I'll always be me, just now I have a boyfriend."

"I'm very jealous." Marlene stuck out her tongue. "Of course you wouldn't have a single qualm about being gay."

James shrugged.

"Why haven't you came out then?" Marlene asked, "everyone still thinks you're head over heels for Lily."

James tensed.

"I'm okay with it, Marls," he said, "doesn't mean society is."

"Yeah but that hardly matters," Marlene rolled her eyes, "who gives a fuck what anyone thinks. Wouldn't you rather be yourself? So what if some people decide they don't like you because of it?"

"Bold of you to say." James frowned.

Marlene's easy grin turned into a frown, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"You just want me to come out and make a scene so you could do the same with little consequence." James narrowed his eyes, "am I wrong?"

"Well...I just....well, I...." Marlene spluttered, "well I think that accusation is quite unfounded!"

James face turned red. "No. Really, Marlene, why are you allowed to hide and I'm not? If I want someone to know how I identify I will tell them. I will not be 'coming out' I think that it is utter bullshite that that would even be expected of me."

"Everyone loves you," Marlene said, "it would be different if I came out, I'd be a laughingstock."

"Why are we even discussing this?" James said, "how is this any of your business."

"None better to stand up for others like us than James bloody Potter," Marlene said, "think of all the good you'd do...all the kids you'd help be comfortable with themselves."

"That's not my job." James shook his head.

"I don't see why not!" Marlene's face was turning red now, "you don't care about what anyone else thinks! There's nobody better to do it."

"I wish I could, Marls, I really do." James said, slouching further into his chair. "I've always wanted to be that person who doesn't care what other people think. That's how I want people to see me, and so that's what they see. But in reality...I'm not, and I hate it."

Marlene's lip twitched and her mouth opened to reply before it fell shut again as she was at a loss for words.

"I care." James said, looking at her with a solemn smile, "I care a lot, and it hurts. When someone doesn't like me, I pick apart every part of myself. Change it. Hide it. I need to be perfect, because if I'm not, I'm not worthy of love."

"James..."

"I shouldn't, I know," James laughed weakly, wishing he had laid of the Firewhiskey a tad earlier than he did. "I can't help it. I just know I'm not enough, and I will never be no matter how fucking hard I try."

"Listen to me." Marlene said, rushing over to grab his face gently between her hands. "You, James Potter, deserve all the love in the world. You are perfect just as you are and I love you—we all love you."

"I think I'm going to go to sleep Marls." James whispered, feeling eyes on him. "I reckon we're making a scene."

Marlene looked up and noticed the party had paused, curious glances in their direction.

"Oh, for the love of all that is good." She grumbled.

"What're you doing?" James said in a panic as Marlene climbed up upon the coffee table.

"I'm a lesbian!" Marlene yelled, "and if any one of you has a problem with it, you can sod right off."

She jumped down off the table and disappeared up the staircase, slamming her door with a bang.

The party continued as if nothing had happened, leaving a very drunk, very stunned James Potter sitting in silence.

Chapter Text

Regulus woke up alone in his bed for the something consecutive day in a row—he didn't care how many days it had been, just the fact that it had been way too long and he hadn't managed to get a proper nights rest.

James had gotten back to the castle a couple of days ago but Regulus had yet to see him.

He had sent a letter the day before informing Regulus of the state of the Potter's health along with the promise that he would see him the next day, as it was Remus Lupin's eighteenth birthday.

Regulus had rolled his eyes upon reading that, however, was quite content about the situation. James deserved a day of celebration, especially after everything that had happened.

"Reggie!" Barty cooed, "be a doll and come eat breakfast with me before you run off to get railed by your hunk of a man."

Regulus just stared at him, his mouth parted, at a loss for any words.

"Coming?" Barty raised an eyebrow.

Regulus blinked.

"Well?"

"Yeah," Regulus coughed, "yeah, alright."

A satisfied smile made its way to Barry's face.

"Fuck off." Regulus blushed, "and don't call me Reggie."

Ten minutes later the pair of them were making their way to the Great Hall, accompanied by Dorcas and Pandora.

"Nasty morning today," Dorcas said.

The ceiling of the hall was grey and storming, thunder echoing miserably through the castle.

"Dumbles will clear it up before the game tomorrow," Barty said, "guess the greenery needed a little hydration."

"A little?" Regulus said doubtfully, "I reckon they're drowning."

The four of them didn't even have the chance to sit before Dorcas was seized by the wrist, lips clashing onto her with a force that knocked her backwards into Pandora.

"The fuck?" Pandora swore, tripping over her feet.

"Is that...Marlene McKinnon?" Barty asked.

"That it is." Regulus nodded.

"I suppose that's the Gryffindor she's been seeing," Barty said.

"I suppose so." Regulus echoed.

The two of them broke apart, both with wide eyes and matching grins.

"I love you." Marlene whispered.

It was all so sweet Regulus fought the urge to gag.

"A public decree," Dorcas mused, "so very Gryffindor of you."

The entire hall was staring and Regulus was beginning to feel quite uncomfortable, inching slowly towards the refuge of the Slytherin table.

"Bed?" Dorcas whispered.

"Say less," Marlene grabbed her hand and the two of them left in a fury of laughter.

"That just happened." Pandora said.

"That it did." Barty agreed.

"It wasn't a dream?" Regulus tried.

"Unfortunately not." Pandora sighed.

"I reckon that's the last we'll see of Cas this weekend," Barty snorted, "looks like it's just you and me Dora."

"Just you actually," Pandora said deviously, "I'm going to see Xeno later."

"You're all whores." Barty groaned, scooping eggs onto his plate, "you know, I haven't been laid in months. Months."

"That must be very frustrating for you." Dora cooed, patting his head.

Barty glared at her.

"Hey!" James was waiting at the entrance of the hall, "ready?"

"Hey." Regulus smiled softly, "how are you?"

"Alright," James shrugged, "I missed you."

Regulus smiled softly, leaning into James's side.

"How'd you sleep?" James asked, carding his fingers through Regulus's curls as he guided him into an empty classroom.

Regulus just hummed a noncommittal response before pulling James in by the collar for a kiss, "missed you."

James melted him with a warm smile, folding so his nose rested in the crook of Regulus's neck.

"You have no idea how much I missed you," Regulus felt the vibration of James's words against his skin as he spoke. His breath was warm, contrasting the cool metal of his glasses frames as they pressed into his neck.

Regulus let his eyes flutter closed, threading his fingers into dark curls as James's lips began to drag over his skin. He had had a list of questions that he meant to ask, along with a vary of stories to share, however, James's mouth was oh so very distracting and his hands were oh so warm as they slipped under the hem of his button up.

"Is here alright?" James lifted his head briefly, gesturing loosely to the room they were in, "we can wait if you'd rather a bed."

"Here is good," Regulus grinned mischievously, "in fact, that wall is looking like a rather good place for my back...don't you think Love?"

James's face lit up as he grabbed the underneath of Regulus's thighs, hoisting him up on his hips and backing them both up against the wall.

"Mhm," Regulus hummed, hooking his ankles around James's back to draw him in even closer, "this is much better."

Regulus kissed him hungrily, pulling James's bottom lip between his, biting it nearly hard enough to draw blood before soothing it over with a swipe of his tongue.

It was eager and longing and wanting and comfortable and like coming home after weathering a storm.

It was everything that fell into a bliss of familiarity but also lingered with a promise of forever, a promise for the future. Their future, with unspoken desires and fruitful fantasies.

And Regulus and James could have it all. They wanted it all.

Regulus didn't wake up alone in his bed the following morning. He awoke to the tightening of arms around his chest and a kiss to his sternum.

"Goodmorning," James whispered, as Regulus began to stir.

"Buongiorno," Regulus yawned, looking at James with a sleepy smile, "come hai dormito?"

"English, Love," James said with an amused tone.

"How'd you sleep?" Regulus repeated, letting his eyes fall closed once again as James traced patterns into his skin with his pointer finger.

"Best in ages," James said. "We've got to get up now though."

Regulus made a nose of protest, snuggling deeper into the warm blankets.

"Come on Reg," James laughed, "the match is today, we can take a nap later."

"Promise?" Regulus pouted, peering at James's with a suspicious glare.

"Of course," James gathered the cloak from where it was kicked at the foot of the bed, tossing it for Regulus's to catch. "We'll see if you still want to cuddle later after I kick your arse in Quidditch though."

"Oh." A scary smile graced the Slytherin's face, "you're so on Potter."

Regulus pressed a chaste kiss to James's lips before disappearing underneath the cloak.

"Bye Love," James whispered as they climbed out of the comfort of the four-poster.

It didn't take long for Sirius and Remus to stir after that.

They stumbled out of bed, hair disheveled and eyes bloodshot.

"Alright Lads?" James frowned looking between them.

"Alright." Sirius mumbled, rubbing at his face.

"I need food." Remus said, shoving a jumper on over his head.

"I'm going for a shower," Sirius said, "go ahead without me."

"You sure Mate?" James asked, "we don't mind waiting, right Moony?"

James turned to look at Remus for confirmation but Remus had already left the dorm, the door swinging closed in his wake.

"What happened?" James asked, turning to Sirius.

Sirius shook his head, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," James said, "yeah, alright, you sure you don't want me to wait?"

"Yeah Prongs," Sirius said, "go eat, you'll need time to digest before warmups."

"See you then." James said, grabbing a jumper from his bedpost.

"See ya," Sirius disappeared into the bathroom, leaving James to catch up with Remus on the way to the Great Hall.

Remus didn't seem off at breakfast, speaking enthusiastically with Lily about Little Women and going over James's quidditch plays with him, giving his advice about the match later in the morning.

"Snyder's got a bad hip," Remus reminded him, "he'll bank to the left when he flies almost constantly."

Sirius never came down to join them.

"James? You've hardly eaten," Lily said as she was getting ready to leave, "are you feeling alright?"

"Fine," James smiled, pushing his plate away, "I'm just not hungry."

"Can I have your sausages then?" Remus looked at James's plate eagerly, "they're all out."

"Yeah, because you ate the entire trey," Lily scoffed.

"I was hungry." Remus glared.

"Yeah, have at it," James said.

"Cheers mate," Remus grinned, pulling the abandoned plate closer.

Sirius wasn't in their dorm when they got back either. He didn't show up when James was putting on his uniform or even when he was leaving for warmups.

"Goodluck," Remus bid him as he left.

"Cheers," James grinned.

He met Marlene and the rest of the team in the common room and they all trekked down to the Quidditch pitch, adorned in scarlet.

"Potter."

James looked over his shoulder to see Regulus making his way over, green robes accentuating his body in a manner that nearly made James drool.

"James?" Marlene looked between him and Regulus with a concerned expression.

"It's fine Marls," James said, "I'll meet you inside."

"Okay," Marlene still looked worried, "holler if you need me."

"I will," James smiled.

She gave a curt nod and hurried to catch up with the rest of the team.

"Hey Reg," James couldn't help but sound nervous as the expression on Regulus's face was nowhere near pleased.

"Here." Regulus shoved a napkin into James's hand. "Eat."

It was an egg and cheese sandwich.

James shook his head and tried to hand the sandwich back, "I already ate Love."

"No. You didn't." Regulus scowled, "this is not okay James, you have to eat."

"I don't want to upset my stomach before I fly." James insisted.

"And I don't want to carry you off the field because you fainted in the air," Regulus crossed his arms. "I'm not arguing with you, eat the fucking food or you're not flying."

James blinked.

"You can't do that."

Regulus raised an eyebrow, "try me Potter."

"Regulus, I'm fine."

"James if I miss the snitch because I have to go rescue your sorry arse, I'm going to be pissed. Eat the fucking sandwich."

"Correct me if I'm wrong," James crossed his arms, "but the whole reason we're having this rematch today is because last time it was me who had to save your arse because you fell off your broom."

"That's different and you know that." Regulus sneered, "I got hit in the head with a fucking bludger."

For the very first time since James had been at Hogwarts, Gryffindor was playing Slytherin for the third time in a single season.

In a typically year, each house team played each other a maximum of two times before the final of the season. However, due to Regulus being illegally knocked off his broom, a rematch had been issued.

"Eat James," Regulus said, closing James's hand around the sandwich, "I'm not kidding."

When it came down to James, Regulus typically got his way.

"What'd Regulus Black want?" Marlene asked when James came walking into the locker room. "And where'd you get that sandwich?"

"Prefect thing," James shrugged, "and I bagged it earlier, didn't eat much at breakfast this morning."

"Mm," Marlene hummed suspiciously, "hurry and get changed, we've got walk outs in five."

"Roger that," James stuffed the rest of the sandwich in his mouth, "gather the team, I'm going to give my speech."

"While you're changing?" Marlene raised an eyebrow.

"Encouragement and a show." James grinned, "that's how we roll Marls."

Chapter Text

Gryffindor common room was rarely ever this bleak. But after a lose to Slytherin, nobody was really feeling up to a party.

"Are you sure you want to be here and not celebrating with your house?" Marlene sighed, propping her chin up on Dorcas's chest.

They laid sprawled out on one of the sofas in front of the cracking fire.

"I'd much rather be with you," Dorcas said, trailing her fingertips soothingly up Marlene's spine.

"I can't believe we lost." Marlene groaned, hiding her face, "I'm actually mortified."

"You played a good match Baby," Dorcas laughed lightly, "don't be hard on yourself."

"Mm, I know—it's hard," Marlene whispered.

"It's over and done, give the space in your mind to something more worthwhile."

"Oh! That reminds me, did Regulus Black get glasses?" Marlene asked.

"Reg?" Dorcas shook her head, "no. He's always going on and on about how he's got perfect eyesight. He's all smug about it because his partner is as blind as a bat."

"Odd, I could've sworn he had glasses on his head earlier today," Marlene shook her head, "he's dating someone?"

Dorcas nodded and flipped the page of her magazine, "he is—but don't ask me who it is. I can't tell you."

"Dorcas!" Marlene pouted, "are you really not going to tell me?"

"No," Dorcas mused, "sorry. What's the sudden interest in Reg for?"

"No reason really," Marlene said, "although he did come over to speak to James earlier which was odd."

"Oh?" Dorcas asked.

"Yeah, strange right?" Marlene shrugged, "James said it was about some prefect thing."

"They are patrol partners," Dorcas said.

"Are they?" Marlene yawned.

Dorcas nodded, "why don't you take a nap Marls? You look exhausted."

"Maybe," Marlene mumbled as her eyes were already fluttering closed.

When her breath fell even, Dorcas propped her book up on Marlene's shoulder, using her free hand to flip the page.

The peace didn't last however.

There was a bang nearly an hour later that jolted Marlene awake.

"The fuck?" She grumbled, rubbing her eyes.

"I don't know," Dorcas said.

"Oi!" James's head appeared at the top of the staircase, "has anyone seen my glasses? I must've left them somewhere. I can hardly see with these old ones—just walked into the buggering wall."

Marlene felt Dorcas tense under her.

"You've lost your glasses—" she could feel her brain making a connection but it wasn't quite there yet.

"Yeah," James leapt down the rest of the stairs, "don't bloody know how, I had them this morning."

"You've lost your glasses!" Marlene's eyes widened and she shot to her feet, nearly knocking her head into Dorcas's chin. "Merlin's balls! You lost your glasses."

"Uhm, yeah?" James looked at her strangely, "what's going on?"

Marlene whipped her head around to stare at her girlfriend in utter disbelief, "he has perfect eyesight and his partner is as blind as a bat."

"Baby..." Dorcas shook her head warningly.

Marlene was starting to draw some strange looks now and James's confusion grew.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, "am I missing something?"

"Alright, I think it's time to take this party upstairs," Dorcas sighed, "come on Loves, we're making a scene."

She grabbed Marlene's waist and gently pushed her up the staircase James had the come down.

"I'm confused." James whined, following behind them. "But really have you guys seen my glasses?"

"Oh we've seen them alright." Marlene said in horror.

"Oh good," James sighed with relief, "I would've summoned them—but I can't find my wand either."

"Alright," Dorcas opened the door to James's dorm and herded them inside. "Here's what's going to happen."

She pushed them both to sit down on the bunk.

"James, I'm going to go get your glasses," she said, "and you and Marls are going to have a nice little chat."

"I don't think I like the sound of that," James chuckled nervously.

"Have fun," Dorcas practically fled.

"I can't see, so remember I can't see the expression on your face," James said, looking at the blurry outline of Marlene.

"You're dating Regulus Black." She gasped.

"Oh." James cringed, "so that's what happened?"

"Holy shit!" Marlene stood abruptly, "holy shit! How the bloody fuck did that happen?"

"Would you believe me if I said I was not?" James tried.

"No." Marlene shoved him, "no bloody fuckering no. Oh Merlin, it's so obvious! The sandwich! The weird friendly banter. Oh my—"

James gave her a sheepish smile.

"How long?"

"It's been awhile," James said, "around the beginning of term."

"Holy fuck and you said you were engaged." Marlene gasped.

"Yeah, happened over hols," James rubbed his neck awkwardly, "sorry for not telling you...you understand right?"

"Of course Jamie," Marlene's face softened, "I just can't believe it! I thought he was a proper arse."

A fond expression graced James's face as he lightly shook his head, "quite the opposite really...to me at least, he can have a bite sometimes however."

"I suppose he's never been insufferably asinine like Snape and that lot." Marlene said, "and Cas seems pretty fond of him; says he's her best friend."

"I'll introduce you properly," James said, "he's going to be living with me after school as well so I'm sure you two will get more than enough chances to meet."

"Does Sirius know?"

"No. I'm going to tell him though," James said, "when the time is right."

She gave him an uneasy smile, reaching out to pull him into an embrace, "at least you know your kids will be quidditch stars."

James let out a laugh, "they would, wouldn't they?"

"Oh, you're kidding!" Marlene boomed, "they'll be flying before they walk."

"Not a bad life, huh Auntie Marls," James joked.

"I reckon I'd like that; being an aunt," Marlene smiled, "I'd spoil that little bugger rotten."

James kissed her forehead, "I love you."

She squeezed him one last time before releasing and taking a step back. "Well then, this was insightful. Is there any other shocking news you would like to get off your chest?"

"No," James laughed, "no, I think that's all."

"Good. I don't need another shock like that in a long time, you hear Potter?"

"Loud and clear McKinnon."

"Oh Merlin I just can hardly believe it." Marlene laughed, "good on you Jamie Boy."

"Oh don't even." James groaned, "or I'll start calling you Marley Jane."

"Don't you dare."

"What's this about a Marley Jane?" Dorcas's voice rang with humor as she re entered the room, waving James's glasses in the air.

"Here you are Lovely," she passed them too him, pressing a kiss to Marlene's cheek as she passed. "Everything sorted then?"

"For now," Marlene said.

"And who is Marley Jane?" Dorcas asked.

James snorted.

Marlene stomped on his foot.

Dorcas looked confused, "seriously, who's Marley Jane?"

"You're looking at her." James said quickly before sprinting out of the room.

"Potter!" Marlene shrieked as the door banged closed. "Oh I'm going to kill him."

Dorcas broke out into hysterical laughter. "Marley Jane. Your middle name is Jane?"

Marlene groaned, covering her face with her hands. "I'm going to kill him."

James's laughs boomed down the corridor as he ran.

"Heads up Mates!" James bounded onto Sirius's back, knocking them both to the floor.

"Ow, Prongs," Sirius coughed, "whatcha do that for?"

James laughed and grabbed Sirius into a headlock, ruffling his hair.

"Oi! Not the hair! Not the fucking hair!" Sirius strained against him.

"Hogsmeade?" James said, releasing his grip.

Sirius grumbled, shoving him away.

"Hogsmeade." Remus agreed.

James's birthday fell on a gloomy Monday at the end of March.

They had celebrated the weekend prior so the actual day was rather quiet.

James and Regulus both skipped their morning classes, opting for a morning lay in instead.

"I reckon I'll miss this dorm." Regulus sighed.

His head rested on James's bare chest, right over his heart, and his fingers lazily drew patterns on the skin of his stomach.

"Hmm?" James hummed sleepily.

"This dorm," Regulus said, "I'll miss it."

"I'm going to miss mine too," James agreed, "we grew up here—for the most part anyways."

Regulus nodded sighing softly against James's warm skin before he snuggled back up and returned to a peaceful sleep.

Chapter Text

"Seven years. You'd think I'd be better at revising." James groaned, banging his head lightly on the table. "I thought last year had seen the worst of it."

"Only issue is these exams cover both this year and lasts," Lily said, sucking on a sugar quill. "Say, can you check my Transfiguration paper?"

"Sure." James groaned, picking up his head, "slide it over here."

"I'll check your Potion recalls if you'd like," she offered, passing her scroll over.

"Please—but chances are all of them are wrong." James sighed, "I keep forgetting wormwood in dreamless sleep, and when I remember it I'll forget a different ingredient."

"I'll write and have my Mum send me some more index cards, maybe those will help." Lily offered. "We can make flash cards."

"Are those the thick arse stacks of papers that you spend eternities writing?"

"Are you getting started on the flash card spiel?" Remus laughed, swinging into a chair. "I don't think that'll work for James, Lil."

"Why not?" Lily asked.

"Hands on works better for him to retain information," Remus shrugged. "That's why he's so good at Transfiguration and Charms and so ass at Potions and History."

"Where's Sirius?" James asked.

"Said he'd meet us here," Remus said, "not sure what he's up to however."

"Mates I'm about to actually have a brain aneurysm." James groaned, "I don't think my brain can hold anymore information."

"Actually, your brain doesn't have a limit." Lily said.

"Maybe yours doesn't." James huffed, "but I think mine does and I reckon I've just hit it. All the better though...I haven't seen my fiancé in four days, I'm going to go check on him to make sure he isn't dead under a pile of books."

"I don't think I'll get used to that," Remus said, "you having a fiancé I mean."

"Yeah?" James laughed, "just wait for the wedding."

"Will we know who he is by then or are you keeping it a surprise until you walk down the aisle?" Remus teased.

"I guess you'll just have to wait and see Moons." James laughed, packing away his bags.

"In all seriousness though," Remus said, "are you going to tell us anytime soon?"

"Yeah," James said, "besides, he's going to be living at mine this summer so you'll figure it out anyways."

"Alright," Remus sighed, "it's your life...I'll refrain from meddling."

"Cheers Mate. I'll see you guys later."

"Tell him hi," Lily said with a smile.

"Will do."

Regulus was in fact, drowning under a pile of books.

"Potter. Thank fucking Merlin." Barty breathed as James removed his invisibility cloak. "You've got to help me. He hasn't moved in days. I keep telling him that May break is meant to relax before exams but it's like his eyes are glued to his books."

Regulus was sitting in the center of a circle of scrolls and books, bent over a particular Charms one, seemingly unaware of James's presence.

"Has he eaten?" James asked worriedly, "slept? Showered?"

"Every few hours I shove some food in his mouth, and I've been scourgifying him every other day," Barty said, "but he hardly sleeps and he only moves to go take a leak and I'm really starting to get concerned. Was going to come get you today actually."

"Alright," James said, "well why don't you go get a break, I'll see what I can do."

"Thank Merlin." Barty said, "see if you can get him out, yeah?"

"That's the plan." James agreed.

"Cheers."

"Reg, Baby?" James crouched down in front of him.

"Hi Love." Regulus leaned forward and kissed James quickly.

"How're you doing?" James asked.

"Fine. Revising." Regulus said, flipping a page of his textbook.

"I see that, why don't you take a break?"

"Can't." Regulus shook his head, "I talked to McGonagall the other day...since she knows our situation and all. She told me I can take my NEWTS this year instead of next...graduate early if I pass instead of dropping out."

James's eyes widened, "Reg! That's amazing!"

"Yeah," Regulus grumbled, "amazing, but I'm a year behind on coursework and I don't know how I'm ever going to catch up."

"You'll do fine Love," James surged forward and scooped Regulus right off the floor and into his arms.

"James! Put me down!" Regulus scowled, straining against his hold, "I've got no time to waste, I need to be studying."

"You need to take a break." James said, tightening his hold, "fresh air, a meal, and a proper shower, and a nights rest. At least."

"I don't have time for any of that." Regulus protested.

"Come on," James said, "you've still got weeks to prepare, you can spare a few hours. I'll even give you a blowie...relieve some of that tension."

Regulus's eyebrows raised, "a blowie you say?"

James smirked and readjusted Regulus so that his legs were wrapped around his waist.

"Shower and sex?" Regulus grinned against the stubble of James's jaw, before sucking a spot by his Adam's Apple, "would save some time."

James stumbled to the bathroom, locking the door quickly behind him.

Regulus slid down to the ground, quickly stripping off his clothes.

James's hands were encasing his hips in seconds, forcefully pushing him back until his back collided with the cool shower wall.

In a swift movement, warm water was cascading down their entwined forms as James's lips bent to meet his.

Regulus's lips parted almost immediately, desperately needing to deepen the kiss.

James obliged, but only for a second before he pulled away.

Regulus let out a needy whine but was quickly silenced as James dropped to his knees on the shower floor.

The sight was sinful as James took him into his mouth, smirking at the corner of his lips, humor gleaming in his eyes.

Regulus nearly bit through his tongue as James's flicked against the head of his hardening cock.

"Fuck." Regulus's hips stuttered forward and James's hand quickly pressed them back against the wall.

Regulus moaned, twisting his hands into James's hair, yanking roughly.

James let out a grunt and Regulus pulled him up, crashing their lips together.

The shower was slippery and cramped, but neither of them seemed to mind.

"Grab the shower head," James panted as he dropped down once again, water plastering his bangs to his forehead.

Regulus turned to do as he was told.

James knocked Regulus's legs apart, spreading his arse with one hand, and reaching around with his other to stroke Regulus's hard dick.

"James." Regulus moaned.

James smirked and licked a teasing strip between his cheeks.

Regulus's whole body twitched and his back fell deeper into an arch, pressing back towards James's face.

James squeezed Regulus's dick in warning before leaning forward once again, tracing the outline of Regulus's hole with his tongue.

"Fuck!"

Water was running down their skin and every part of their bodies were soaked.

It didn't take much to open Regulus up at all.

"Now." Regulus panted, squirming against the wall. "Please Jamie."

A thrill tumbled through James's body as he removed his fingers and stood, leaning forward to suck at the base of Regulus's neck.

Regulus turned his head to capture his lips.

With one hand pinning Regulus to the wall, James used the other to guide his dick, slowly pressing into Regulus's body.

Regulus's lips fell from James's as he threw his head back with a guttural moan.

"Alright?" James asked.

"I want it rough." Regulus said, bucking his arse back so he took James in completely.

It was James's turn to moan, caught off guard by the sudden movement.

He squared his hips and held Regulus by the waist.

"Fucking Merlin, go." Regulus ordered, tightening his hold on the shower head.

James pulled back and thrusted back in forcefully, snapping his hips against Regulus in rhythmic motions.

The water streaming down on them made for constant readjustments, the shower was quite cramped and the excessive amount of water made it quite slippery, James falling out in the most inconvenient of moments.

"Floor." Regulus panted. "Floor. Now."

They stumbled out of the shower, and Regulus nearly tackled James down onto the cool, stone ground.

James landed on his back and Regulus quickly scrambled to strattle him and guiding his dick back to his entrance.

James thrusted upwards as Regulus pressed down.

"There, right there." Regulus gasped, scratching at James's chest. "Oh Merlin, right there."

James quickened his pace, encouraged by the noises Regulus was emitting.

With the hand not holding Regulus's waist, James wrapped it around his dick, jerking it off in quick precise movements.

Regulus folded over with a gasp, squeezing James's ribs with his knees.

"Almost there." Regulus's lips parted and his eyes opened, glossed over and hazy.

Only a second later, James felt the constriction of Regulus's muscles as his body went rigid, squeezing around James's dick as he came, spilling warmly on James's chest.

The sensation was the driving force that sent James over the edge, his body quivering as it tensed and he released with a cry.

"Holy fuck." Regulus slumped forward on James's chest, smearing the mess between them.

James laughed, wrapping his arms around Regulus's back, "holy fuck."

Chapter Text

The end of James Potter's seventh and final year of Hogwarts went like this;

May break was spent doing revisions in the library.

NEWTS took place at the beginning of June—nearly an entire month before the rest of the school had exams.

James didn't mind however, earlier exams meant the end of courses, and end of courses meant they were officially free.

Hogwarts at their leisure, Hogsmeade accessible to them without required permission, curfew null; heaven on earth.

They went out drinking most nights, and laid out by the lakes most days.

Regulus cut many classes—bitter about the fact that he still had to attend courses even after taking his NEWTs an entire year early.

James's last ever Gryffindor quidditch match happened on June 16th. The championship, Slytherin vs Gryffindor. A perfect end to his career, James thought, he got to play the game he loved, sneaking glances at the boy he loved on the opposing team.

Gryffindor won, 260 to 250. Regulus sulked for days, James celebrated for days.

Regular exams rolled around the week before the end of June.

The corridors were quiet, the library full and James felt the actuality of the situation for possibly the first time.

He was leaving Hogwarts.

There would be no next year, no more Quidditch matches, no more classes, no more dorm, no more marauders.

It was a sobering reminder of the forced disbandment of the Marauders. They hadn't even pulled a prank since Peter's betrayal, it didn't seem right to any of them.

James was leaving Hogwarts, and worse yet, he was stepping directly into a war that he wasn't sure they could win.

The end came too soon, and before he knew it, his trunk was packed and his graduation robes were laid out on his four poster.

"We'll live in Venice." Regulus sighed, playing with the ring on James's finger as they laid in the grass under the stars. Savoring their last night.

"Venice?" James hummed.

Regulus nodded, "we'll take gondola rides—you'll kiss me every time we go under a bridge."

"Will I?" James grinned.

"Yes," Regulus nodded, "I'll have to teach you Italian."

"Oi, my Italian isn't bad." James kissed his shoulder, "you're just such a great teacher."

"Grazie," Regulus turned his head and captured his lips. "Mia cara, ti amo più di ogni altra cosa."

"Ti amo." James smiled dumbly, "What does the rest mean?"

"You'll have to learn," Regulus cut him off with another kiss.

"We'll have two kids," James pulled away letting his hands rest of Regulus's hips, "one girl and one boy."

"Two?" Regulus shook his head, "no, Love, at least three."

"Three?" James's eyes widened, "we'd be outnumbered."

"Does that scare you?" Regulus laughed.

"Of course," James said.

Regulus rolled his eyes, climbing into, James's lap and leaning close so they were face to face.

"What're you doing?" James whispered, holding Regulus by the small of his back.

"Admiring you," Regulus breathed, tracing his finger on James's lip, "everything is going to change tomorrow."

"I know." James nodded.

"You're not worried?" Regulus asked.

"As long as I have you with me," Janes squeezed his hip, "I know I'll be okay."

Their lips connected and James immediately pulled him closer, tilting his head back to deepen the kiss.

Regulus was in control, one hand firmly planted on James's chest, the other holding his chin.

"I'm nervous how Sirius will react," Regulus admitted, pulling back.

"Don't be," James soothed, "it'll be alright, I promise."

"Are you sure you shouldn't warn him ahead of time?" Regulus asked, "that seems a little counterproductive."

"I'd rather him lose his shit in privacy than in front of people here or on the train," James said, "he makes bad decisions when he's upset, and your safety is my top priority."

"Yes," Regulus said, "but we're blind sighting him. It's unfair."

"It is." James admitted, "but we don't have any other choice. Besides, it's not like he's totally unaware, he knows I'm in a relationship, and he knows it's with a boy."

"I know, I know," Regulus breathed, "I just don't think he's going to react well that it's—well—that it's me."

"It'll be fine Love." James said. "Did you tell Barty, Dora and Dorcas that you're not coming back next year?"

Regulus shook his head. "I reckon it's for the best they don't know. I think Dora has a suspicion though, you know she's typically a step ahead on these type of things."

"Will you write them?" James asked.

"I reckon so." Regulus sighed, "it's a complicated situation, is all."

James nodded and they fell silent.

"Are your robes and everything ready for tomorrow?" Regulus asked, "everything set?"

"Yeah," James nodded, "and here's my cloak so I don't forget to give it to you."

He pulled the silvery material out of his pocket, "my parents are going to want to get a picture of us so we'll have to find some place away from everyone else. Have you decided if you're wearing it for the ceremony yet?"

"I don't reckon so." Regulus shook his head, "I'd rather not have to hide, and besides, I want my brother to know that I was there. Besides, Dorcas is graduating too so nobody should be suspicious."

"I think he'd like that very much," James smiled fondly, pressing a kiss to the tip of Regulus's nose.

Regulus let out a laugh, shoving him lightly, "wanker."

"Only for you Love."

When the Marauders awoke the next morning, there was a sluggish silence to getting ready.

They adorned their graduation caps, gelled their hair, and fastened their robes in a nostalgic solemnity.

Their stoles were Scarlett and gold with the Gryffindor emblem stitched in careful detail, and James's adorned his head boy and quidditch captain pins.

"Got your speech ready Mate?" Remus asked, as he straightened the collar of Sirius's robes.

"Yeah," James held a scroll of parchment in his hand, "reckon it'll be rubbish following Lily's though."

"Nonsense." Sirius said, "you're going to do great."

"Why the fuck do they make graduation this early." Remus groaned, covering a yawn.

"To give us time to eat before getting on the train," James said, "are you guys ready?"

It was seven ten in the morning, they had to be in the common room by seven thirty to be escorted down to the quidditch pitch for a ceremony that began at 8 am.

There were only eighteen seventh years in Gryffindor, lounging around the common room in their graduation get ups.

Lily, Mary, and Marlene were sitting by the window with Emmeline Vance, who had been Chaser with James for the last four years.

"Morning boys." Mary grinned, "don't you lot just look bright eyed and bushy tailed."

"Morning." They echoed.

Hugs were exchanged and they settled into an easy conversation before McGonagall rounded them up.

"Now." McGonagall stood up straight and addressed them. "Before we begin our precession to the Quidditch pitch, let me take a few moments to express my pride in each one of you. It has been my pleasure to be your professor and watch you grow and develop into the impressive group of young men and women who stand here today. I am honored to know you all as students and as individuals and cannot express my excitement to see what you all will do in your adult lives. Now, be brave, be bold, be loyal, be smart. Honor the traits that landed you here and you will go far."

James and Lily lead the precession of students through the corridors.

They walked in two parallel lines, boys on the left, girls on the right, Gryffindor, followed by Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin.

James and Lily walked straight to the podium as the rest of the class took their seats on the field.

James looked around, caught a glance of his parents and smiled widely, offering a wave.

Effie laughed, waving back as she patted at her eyes with a handkerchief.

The bleachers had been lowered to ground level for the graduation, filled with parents and students alike.

Lily stepped forward, pointing her wand at her throat, as James stood to stand slightly behind her to the right.

"Good morning, my name is Lily Evans. As Head Girl of the class of seventy-nine, I have the honor of opening our graduation ceremony this morning." Lily began, "I'd first like to extend a warm thank you to all of our professors for their hard work and dedication to our academics these last seven years. With their knowledge, they nourished ours and that is a debt that we could never repay. I'd also like to take a moment to appreciate all of you in attendance. Family...friends...an accomplishment such as graduating is much sweeter to share with the ones you love. Thank you for making the journey to Hogwarts so early in the morning to share this moment with us. And to the class of seventy-nine...."

James is not proud to admit that he zoned off towards the beginning of Lily's speech but it wouldn't change the fact that he did.

Regulus was sitting in the back of the stands sandwiched between Pandora and Barty.

He turned his gaze from Lily as James's eyes fell on him, almost as if he sensed it, lifting his hand and tapping over his heart.

James's face blushed almost instantly and he looked away with a smile.

James's speech was after the choir sang the school's anthem.

"Uhm...hi Mum..." James started as he frantically tried to unfold his speech, "hold on everyone, I've got a speech it's just a little crinkled...ah, there we go... Good morning, I'm James Potter, this year's Head Boy....

Today, as we prepare to bid farewell to the halls of Hogwarts, I can't help but reflect on the incredible journey we have all undertaken. We have faced challenges, triumphs, and everything in between, all of which have contributed to shaping us into the individuals we are today.

Whether in the classroom, or on this very Quidditch pitch, every moment, every experience here at Hogwarts has shaped me...as I'm sure it has shaped all of you into the people we are today, and I think we're all pretty great. But let's take this time to both reflect on our time here and the journey that lays out in front of us once we board the train for the very last time...

We leave behind us a legacy of camaraderie, bravery, and unwavering spirit, reminiscent of the values that have long defined our beloved Hogwarts. We have learned not just from textbooks and lectures, but from the friendships we've forged and the adventures we've embarked upon.

Let us take with us the boldness and daring of the Gryffindor house, the wisdom and wit of Ravenclaw, the loyalty and dedication of Hufflepuff, and the ambition and resourcefulness of Slytherin. Let us remember that our time at Hogwarts has prepared us not just to cast spells, but to face the challenges of life with resilience and grace. May the values of loyalty, bravery, and wit that define this esteemed institution guide us in every endeavor. May the friendships we've forged within these walls serve as a beacon of light in the darkest of times.

As we step out into the wider wizarding world, let us honor the legacy of those who have come before us, and strive to leave a mark that will inspire generations to come. May the memories we have created within these walls serve as a reminder of the power of unity and the magic of friendship.

To my fellow graduates, I offer my heartfelt congratulations. May our future endeavors be as bright as the lumos that illuminates our way."

The Marauders graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry on June 22nd at precisely 9:39 am.

They threw their caps up in the air and by 9:47, Euphemia Potter was squeezing the three of them tightly.

"Oh get in for a picture, squish in there!" She smiled happily, holding up a camera.

Remus, James and Sirius took a photo. Then James and Remus took a photo. Then James and Sirius. Then Remus and Sirius. Then James, Effie and Monty. Sirius, Effie and Monty. James, Sirius, Effie, and Monty. All three of them with Effie and Monty. Remus with his parents...and by the time the girls wandered over, James was just about to be the first person to die of smiling for too long.

James didn't even notice Regulus approaching until he heard his voice.

"Congratulations."

Sirius looked at his brother's outstretched hand with wide eyes.

They stood there frozen for a second, Sirius staring, Regulus's hand extended between them.

Sirius stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his brother, holding him tightly.

The click of Effie's camera sounded and James glared.

"Thanks Reggie." Sirius patted his brother on the back.

Regulus nodded, turning towards James and Remus.

"Congrats James, Remus."

"Err, thanks." Remus said awkwardly.

"Oh! Are you two friends Jamie?" Effie asked, "get together for a photo."

"Mum—"

"Get together for a photo James." Effie bit.

James pretended it was uncomfortable to put his arm around Regulus's shoulder, smiling at his parents who were holding impeccable poker faces.

"Sirius get with your brother." Effie ordered, "I want a proper photo of the two of you, and then you and Remus can take one too Dear."

"Yes ma'am," Regulus mumbled, crossing to stand besides his brother.

Once photos were over, everyone bid their farewells; parents slowly began to leave and students walked back up to the castle where the leaving feast was awaiting them.

James didn't get a glance of Regulus again after photos, and only hoped he wouldn't have issue finding Effie and Monty once they left.

The Great Hall was buzzing with conversation when they arrived, all the Gryffindor seventh years were sitting huddled together, telling stories of their time at Hogwarts as they ate their favorite foods for the last time.

It didn't seem real as Dumbledore offered his closing remarks, wishing them a safe journey home and bidding adieu to the graduating class. And even less so as they walked the familiar path to Hogsmeade station.

"Ready?" Remus sighed, looking at the Scarlet train.

"As we'll ever be I suppose." Sirius said.

James slung an arm around each of their shoulders and together they boarded the train.

Chapter Text

"What's the matter with you?" Remus kicked a brooding Sirius.

"Nothing." Sirius crossed his arms.

"Out with it," Remus demanded, "this is our last train ride together, you will not ruin it for me by being moody Sirius Black."

"It's nothing," Sirius shook his head, "I didn't see Reg, is all."

"What? You've just seen him an hour ago." Remus said.

"No, I know," Sirius said, "but he's not on the train, and he wasn't in the Great Hall either."

"How do you know?" Remus asked.

"I looked," Sirius said, "even asked that little shit Barty Crouch. Said he disappeared after the ceremony. Hasn't been able to find him since."

"I'm sure he's fine," James said, finally looking up from his book.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Sirius nodded, "I just wanted to see him again, privately, you know? Maybe talk some things out. I doubt I will have the chance again..unless we're trying to kill each other."

"I doubt that, Pads," James shook his head, "don't worry about it, yeah?"

"Yeah," Sirius nodded, "okay."

James marked his page and set his book down on the seat beside him.

Sirius was leaning into Remus's shoulder, his knees bent over his lap.

It would be best to sleep he decided. Anxiety about Sirius's reaction couldn't plague him when he wasn't awake.

So James laid down across the bench, and closed his eyes, willing Sirius to be okay with him fucking his baby brother.

>•<

Regulus had never been as happy about leaving Hogwarts as he did leaving for the Potter home.

In the few weeks he had spent with Effie and Monty Potter, the Potter Manor had quickly become a comfort in Regulus's life.

"Go unpack Love, get settled in. Monty's going to help a friend with some work...I'll probably run to the shop and take a rest. Then I'll start on a tart so it's done when the boys get here." Effie said, patting Regulus's cheek.

Regulus bounded up the stairs into James's room, enlarging the shrunken trunks he had pulled from his pocket.

He didn't unpack, leaving the task for when James had arrived as well, and instead changed into a fresh pair of clothes.

His hand caught on the chain of the necklace and he pulled it out of his collar, staring at it.

With more deliberation than he'd like to admit, Regulus unhooked the chain from his neck, and slid the ring off of it and onto his finger.

A grin grew on his face as he flexed his fingers, his engagement band gleaming.

They didn't have to hide anymore.

It almost felt like a dream.

Regulus laid back on the bed, holding his hand in front of his face, not even finding it within him to be worried about Sirius's reaction.

They wouldn't have to hide like they did. Never again.

He must've fallen asleep for the next time his eyes opened, hours had gone by.

He sat up, stretching his bones as they cracked and made his way back down the stairs to join Effie in the kitchen.

"Did you have a rest?" She asked, looking at him with an amused smile.

"I closed my eyes for a moment and sleep got the best of me." Regulus yawned, "do you need any help?"

"Actually, do you mind taking the tart out of the oven? I've got flour all over my hands." Effie asked, holding up her white-caked hands.

"Of course."

"Mitts are in the drawer," Effie said, turning on the sink tap.

He nodded, covering his hands in green mittens before grabbing the pan out of the oven, and setting it on the counter.

"Can I help with the second batch?" He asked.

"I'd love that," Effie smiled, "but I'll warn you, they're James's favorite, once you know how to make them, he'll never stop asking."

"That's okay," Regulus smiled, "I won't mind."

"You boys are too sweet," she cooed, "come get an apron on, don't want to dirty your clothes now."

"Yes, ma'am," he said, tying a yellow apron around his waist.

"And your hair," Effie handed him a rubber band, "keep it out of your face, and the food."

Regulus nodded, tying his hair back in a small ponytail.

"There, a proper chef," Effie smiled, "come along, now, we start off with our flour..."

Four batches later, Regulus was thriving, he looked so happy that Effie didn't have the heart to stop him, even though they had no need for nine dozen treacle tarts.

"Regulus, Love, do you want to take a break and eat something?" She asked coming back into the kitchen, she had bailed on the tarts around batch four when her back started to ache. "It's quite past supper time but I reckoned we'd go out to eat, or order in depending on how it goes with Sirius and everything...fancy something to hold you over until then?"

"No thank you," Regulus shook his head, "I'll wait for James."

"Well they should be home any second now," Effie checked her watch, "the train got in about a quarter hour ago."

"Oh." Regulus's smile faded. "Effie?"

"Yes Regulus?"

"Do you think we did the right thing?" Regulus asked, "waiting until now to tell Sirius?"

"It doesn't matter what I think," Effie said, "do you think it was right?"

"No." Regulus sighed, "no, I don't reckon it was."

It wasn't long after that when three boys came stumbling through the fireplace.

"Mum!" Sirius shouted, "we're home!"

"Ready, Dear?" Effie whispered.

Regulus nodded, "I suppose."

"In here!" Effie called back.

"I smell Treacle Tart," James's voice came from the other side of the door, immediately calming Regulus's nerves slightly.

"Hey, Mum, I know you totally missed us these last few hours..." Sirius pushed into the kitchen and froze, his eyes falling on Regulus.

"Hello," Regulus waved shyly, "how was the train ride?"

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Sirius spat, "and what the fuck are you wearing?"

"Sirius—" Effie warned.

"Where's my wand!" Sirius spun on James.

"Calm down." James said sternly.

"You took my wand!" Sirius accused.

"No I didn't," James lied.

"Oh you little—" Sirius lunged at Regulus who ran to the other side of the island.

"Sirius." Regulus warned, holding a spatula defensively.

Sirius gritted his teeth and jumped over the counter, just barely missing Regulus as he leapt away.

James ran forward, grabbing Sirius by the arm.

"Stop it!" Euphemia shrieked, "the lot of you!"

Sirius froze and angrily backed away, shaking his wrist from James's grasp.

"Why are you here?" He demanded.

"James invited me," Regulus said, still holding the spatula.

"James?" Remus's brows furrowed as he turned to send James a questioning look.

James met his eyes at nodded guiltily.

"No." Remus's eyes widened.

"James invited you?" Sirius frowned, "why?"

"Remember I told you I was seeing someone?" James scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Yes?" Sirius huffed, "what does that have to do with my brother?"

"Sirius—" Remus started, "If I'm not mistaken, James is trying to tell you that Regulus is the one he's been seeing."

"Don't be ridiculous, Remus," Sirius laughed dryly, "James wouldn't—"

His eyes caught the expression on James's face and his laugh died in his throat, in one swift movement, his eyes caught on the ring on James's hand, and the matching one on Regulus's.

"I was going to tell you—" James tried.

Sirius punched him.

"James!" Regulus gasped.

"Well he had it coming," Effie gasped, trying to choke back a laugh.

"Funny, Mum," James groaned, holding his hand over his eye.

"You're dating my brother!" Sirius hollered, "my kid brother?"

"Sirius—" Regulus tried.

"Do not." Sirius snapped over his shoulder, "I'll get to you."

Regulus shut his mouth and backed away.

"How long?" Sirius demanded.

"Eight months." James said.

Sirius's eye twitched and James flinched as he moved.

But Sirius left the kitchen, slamming the door behind him.

"Sirius!" James yelled, moving to follow after him.

"Jamie," Effie set a hand on his chest, "I think he needs his space. Why don't you and Regulus go out into the gardens, it is a beautiful day."

"But—" James's started, staring at the door Sirius had just left through.

"James Potter. Outside." Effie ordered.

"Yes, Ma'am," James nodded with a sigh, "Remus? Would you like to come."

"Remus will be having an upset Sirius to tend to," Effie smiled, "won't you, now, Remus?"

"I suppose," Remus smiled weakly.

"Come on, Love," Regulus whispered, coming up behind him, "I think we've caused enough uproar for the day."

"Right," James nodded, letting Regulus lead him away.

James laid his cloak out on the grass under a tree and Regulus sprawled out on his back. The last glimpses of sunset were quickly disappearing as the sky darkened into night.

"You're hogging the entire cloak," James accused.

"Too bad." Regulus said, a smile playing on his lips.

James rolled his eyes and sat against the tree, lifting Regulus's head to fit his legs underneath.

"Hi." He whispered bending over to kiss Regulus's forehead.

"Hi," Regulus smiled.

"Were you baking Treacle Tart with my Mum?" James mused, running a hand through Regulus's dark curls.

Regulus hummed, his eyes fluttering shut. "How was the train ride?"

"Good," James said, "I missed you."

This caused Regulus to laugh.

"You haven't seen me but eleven hours ago," he astonished.

"Much to long, Mi amo." James said.

Regulus snorted, burying his face in James's stomach.

"What?" James laughed, "have I said it wrong?"

"Mi amor," Regulus corrected, "Mi amo means you love yourself."

"Well that I do," James shook with laughter.

"Your head is as big as your arse, you bigot," Regulus gasped for breath through his laughs.

"Oh, I love your laugh," James grinned.

"Shove it," Regulus blushed.

James sighed, leaning his head back on the tree as his hands found themselves tangled in Regulus's hair once again.

"How is your eye?" He asked.

"I'll live," James frowned, "I deserved it, I reckon."

Regulus hummed an acknowledgment and a comfortable silence fell.

"Tell me about Venice?" Regulus asked after a minute, catching James's eyes with his.

"Venice?" A blissful expression spread on James's features, "what do you want to know?"

"Our kids," Regulus said, "tell me more about them."

"We have three," James started, "two boys and a girl, our eldest is named Henry."

"Henry?" Regulus said, "why?"

"It was my Grandfather's name," James explained, "although everyone called him Harry, he died when I was ten."

"Harry," Regulus smiled, "Harry Potter."

"Harry?" James repeated, "alright, then, Harry Potter it is—or Harry Black, Harry, Oliver, and—"

"Elizabeth," Regulus finished, "we'll have ourselves a Harry, an Olly, and a Lizzy."

"Sounds wonderful," James hummed. "We'll have a perfect little family."

"Perfect," Regulus leaned up to capture James's lips, "I've only got one request."

"Oh?" James raised an eyebrow.

"I want your name," Regulus said earnestly, "I want to be the Potters."

James's smile softened and his eyes became glossy.

"You want my name?" James whispered.

"More than anything."

"Shit," James laughed, wiping his eyes, "shit, of course, Reg, we can be the Potters. Oh Merlin, I love you so much."

Neither of them noticed two figures in one of the windows.

"They really care for eachother, don't they?" Remus smiled softly, watching the two boys sprawled out in the yard, their heads bent together, grinning.

Sirius grunted.

"What do you reckon they're talking about?" Remus asked.

"Arson." Sirius crossed his arms.

Remus rolled his eyes, "are you really going to be a bitch about this?"

"It's my brother, Remus!" Sirius's face was red, "my brother and James. Are you really okay with that?"

"It's going to take some getting used to sure," Remus said cautiously. "But there's nothing wrong with their relationship, Sirius."

"He didn't tell me."

"Do you blame him?" Remus laughed dryly, "it'd be a tad hypocritical seeing we hid our relationship from him. He may be our best friend—but Sirius, James doesn't owe us anything."

"But—"

"No." Remus said, "it's was his choice. We made ours when we decided to hide, he did the same. It was to keep them both safe."

"We wouldn't have told anyone!" Sirius argued.

"Yeah?" Remus scoffed, "and what about Peter?"

"Don't say his name," Sirius grit his teeth.

"What if James had told us all and Peter told the Death Eaters? Then what?"

"They would've killed them." Sirius grunted, "or something worse."

"Exactly." Remus said, "he was keeping them safe, you have to understand that better than anyone."

"He should've told me." Sirius said.

"Because you're so reliable to keep your emotions in check," Remus said.

"What shit are you on about?"

"Fifth year Sirius."

"That's not fair."

"It doesn't have to be fair. It's true." Remus said. "But this isn't about you. What're you going to say to James?"

"What do you mean what am I going to say?"

"Are you dense?" Remus said, "you're going to have to say something."

"No I won't." Sirius said, "acknowledging this crime would make it real."

"It is real." Remus said, "regulus is living here. My advice is to do whatever the fuck you need to do to get on board. It's the least either of us can do for James."

"He's my brother Remus." Sirius said, "and James didn't tell me."

"So give him a chance to explain." Remus said, "you owe him that much. He's coming inside now, I reckon he's coming to talk to you. Listen will you?"

"Where are you going?" Sirius hissed, "I'm sure he'll want to talk to you as well."

Remus shook his head, "figure out your shit Pads. I'll be downstairs with Effie."

Sirius heard Remus's footsteps fade away down the hall along with another set of footsteps heading his way.

"Hey." James knocked on the doorframe, "can I come in?"

Sirius didn't answer.

"I saw you in the window." James said, "can you at least look at me?"

"James, I don't want to see you right now." Sirius said, taking a deep breath. "I'm trying to keep my temper under control—you being here isn't helping."

"Come on, Sirius!" James yelled, "go for it! Yell! Scream! Curse me out. Do it."

Sirius spun around and met James's eyes, furious.

"Go on." James challenged, "lay it on me."

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Sirius spat.

"I wasn't!" James yelled back, "I didn't plan on falling in love with him!"

"Bullshit. You don't love him." Sirius said, "you love the idea of fixing him. Saint fucking Potter and his island of misfits. Regulus fits right in proper."

"No. Sirius."  James said sternly, "I love him."

"No!" Sirius laughed manically, "No, James, you do not."

"Saying I don't doesn't change anything," he crossed his arms, "I'll still love him."

"But he doesn't love you!" Sirius said, "he doesn't deserve you. He can't change."

"Sirius." James snapped, "I love Regulus. Love him. And I know he loves me. He is your brother, you remember how hard it was when you left, he doesn't deserve the shit you're spewing. Grow the fuck up. He has changed, he's a great fucking person with a good heart, you're just too blind to notice."

"It won't last."

"We're getting married."

Sirius froze, his eyes widening.

"You can say he doesn't love me all you want," James frowned, "but he proposed, and I said yes. We will be getting married. I had hoped you'd support us, but that hope seems silly right about now, huh?"

"You're getting married?" Sirius whispered.

"Yes, we are." James sighed, "you knew I was engaged, Sirius, who'd you think it was, Remus?"

"I forgot I suppose." Sirius frowned. "It didn't seem real, you know? You wear a ring, but for me, that's the only thing that's changed. I didn't know you were in a relationship, and even when you told us, it hardly registered because I never saw you two together."

He froze and stared at James.

"Actually...no, I fucking did. Didn't I?" His face  was growing a violent shade of red. "You lied to me James! Straight to my fucking face. You lied to me."

"No, I never lied." James shook his head, "I told you were weren't quite friends, which we're not, and I told you we were patrol partners, which we were."

"Bull fucking shit." Sirius said. "'We're hardly friends', 'we're only patrol partners'; what about the countless times you lied about where you were or who you were with? But you know what; I fucking blame myself. It was right in front of me this entire time...him wearing your jumper, the time he came up to me in the library to tell me off for treating you like shite. It was right in front of me...I guess I never thought too much into it. Silly me for assuming it would be common sense not to fuck your best mate's baby brother. You fucking lied James, and you purposely didn't tell me because you knew I wouldn't be okay with it."

"Quite frankly, I don't fucking need you to be okay with it," James said, "but you need to accept it or you need to get the fuck out of my house."

"That fucking threat holds no weight." Sirius sneered, "this is my house just as much as it is yours."

"Keep your problem with me Sirius." James warned, "not him."

"Don't fucking tell me how to handle my relationship with my brother James." Sirius said.

"Whatever." James said, "we sprung it on you, I know that wasn't fair. I expected a bad reaction, we'll talk tomorrow when it's not as much as a shock."

"Fuck off."

James shook his head, leaving without another word.

Remus came back a couple minutes later with a frown on his face.

"I told you to fucking figure it out, not dig your shit deeper. The fuck is wrong with you?"

Chapter Text

James and Regulus laid in bed in a contemplative silence.

Remus and Sirius were arguing in the room across the hall as they had been since James last spoke to Sirius.

"Do you think we should cast a silencing charm for them?" Regulus asked as Remus spat some crude words.

"Probably." James whispered back, however, neither of them made a move to cast the charm.

"I'm sorry it went how it did." James sighed, pulling Regulus tighter against his chest. "I should've listened to you and told them ages ago."

"It's okay," Regulus sighed, "this would have happened just the same."

"He's going to want to talk to you." James whispered, pressing a kiss into Regulus's curls.

"I know."

"Are you ready for that?"

"For once in my life; I reckon I am." Regulus said, "he might not like all I have to say though."

"He'll come around." James said, "you'll see."

The memory of Sirius punching the boy who Regulus shared his first kiss with was burning in his mind, making his stomach drop like it was full of stones. He couldn't even bring himself to mutter an agreement, instead offering a small nod.

"He'll forgive you before he'll forgive me." James said, "he never could be mad at you really, you've always been his world."

"Maybe when we were younger," Regulus sighed, "but it hasn't been like that for a long time Jamie."

"You'll see," James whispered, "it'll all be just fine."

Regulus raised his wand and cast the silencing charm they had been putting off.

"It's been a long day," he whispered, settling back in, "let's go to sleep."

James nodded, tracing the bumps of Regulus's spine down his back, "goodnight."

Regulus let his eyes close, the soothing essence of James warm against his body.

He shifted one final time, tucking his frozen feet between James calves as their legs twisted together.

Despite the day's upsets, Regulus Black had never felt like he belonged more.

Tension still hung in the air the next morning.

Regulus awoke alone in bed, James's presence still lingering where he slept.

He rolled into it, letting the warmth seep deep into his bones, inhaling the smell that had become so familiar.

James's running trainers were missing from the shoe rack by the door and Regulus yawned as he reached for a jumper.

The door to Sirius's room was still firmly closed as Regulus patted down the staircase and into the kitchen.

Remus, and Effie were sitting at the kitchen table while Monty stood over the stove in the kitchen.

"Goodmorning Regulus," Monty smiled pressing a cup of tea into his hands, "how'd you sleep?"

"Good, thanks," Regulus wrapped his hands around the mug, bringing it close to his chest.

"Morning Love," Effie called from the table, "come sit, Remus and I were just talking about electricity."

"Electricity?" Regulus asked with an amused smirk.

"Yes," Effie said, "I think it's ridiculous that they still don't use it in the castle."

"It's tradition," Monty said, flipping an omelet, "Dumbledore's a stickler for it."

"Nothing advances without adapting."

"I'm not arguing with you Love, I'm just stating a fact," Monty laughed, "if you're so concerned, go down and demand that Albus installs light-switches as soon as possible."

"You laugh now Flea," Effie said, "but I might just be inclined to do just that."

"We have no more children in school," Monty said, humor evident in the creases by his eyes.

"Maybe not," Effie huffed, "but we'll have grandchildren soon enough, isn't that right boys?"

Remus choked on his tea, "I would hope not."

"We're not getting any younger you know," Monty said, levitating a plate of eggs down infront of Remus, "how'd you like them Reg?"

"Scrambled please," Regulus yawned, taking small sips of his tea as the lingering effects of sleep began to fade.

"James still asleep?" Effie asked.

"No," Regulus said, "he was gone when I got up...I think he's out for a run."

She nodded, and turned to Remus, "and Sirius?"

Remus shook his head, "I don't think you're getting him out of that room at any point today."

Effie rolled her eyes. "Dramatic boy. He's coming down at one point or another he's got to eat...and don't you dare be smuggling food up there."

Remus held his hands up in surrender, "honestly Effie, why do you always assume I'm up to something."

"Oh Remus my Darling, that might've fooled me years ago, but I've long since figured out your whole innocent act."

"You don't have us fooled anymore," Monty's said, "we know you're the brains behind your whole marauder operation."

Remus's eyes gleamed, "I won't bring him food."

"Good boy." Effie patted his cheek.

The door opened and heavy footsteps followed down the hall.

"There's James." Regulus said, nodding his head towards the front of the house.

James entered only a second later, slightly out of breath and damp with sweat.

"Morning Dad....Mum," James dropped a kiss on her cheek. "Morning Baby," he kissed the top of Regulus's head before plopping into the seat beside him, "morning Moony."

"What? No kiss for me?" Remus snickered.

James grinned, leaning his entire body across the table.

"Oi! I was only joking!" Remus pushed James's face away as he puckered ostentatiously. "You reek too, by the way."

James tucked his head to the side and made a face.

Regulus snorted playfully shoving James to the side, "go take a shower you sod."

"How sweet." James's voice dripped in sarcasm. "In sickness and health Regulus."

"Last I checked you weren't sick!" Regulus called as James retreated up the stairs.

Monty was chuckling, thoroughly amused as he set Regulus's plate in-front of him.

"Thank you." Regulus said, scooping some onto his fork.

"So Regulus, how'd you end up here?" Remus asked, sitting back in his chair.

"I left over winter hols," Regulus said, wishing James was there to help him. "Took the Knight Bus here."

"Poor thing was nearly beaten to death," Effie said with a frown.

“They wanted me to demonstrate my loyalty to the Dark Lord,” Regulus explained. “I wouldn’t. Mother dearest wasn’t too pleased.”

“What do you mean demonstrate?” Remus asked, “what did they want you to do?”

“Murder a muggle.” Regulus said.

The kitchen fell quiet so Regulus continued, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"That was the night Pettigrew was there. I watched him kill a man."

Remus's hands balled into fists and he tried to compose himself, taking deep breaths that didn't seem to be helping.

"Remus," Effie said, putting her hand gently on his arm, "why don't you go take a breath Darling?"

Remus, whose face had gone red and eyes had a manic glint in them, nodded tensely, standing and excusing himself from the table.

"Did I say something wrong?" Regulus asked as the back door slammed.

"No," Effie said warmly, "Remus has just been taking Peter's betrayal hard."

"Oh." Regulus said quietly, cursing himself for having brought Peter up in the first place. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry Love," Effie said. "You have no reason to."

Regulus excused himself from the table shortly after then, catching a glimpse of Remus punching a bag hanging from a tree in the yard.

He looked murderous.

Regulus hurried up the stairs, coming to a halting stop in front of Sirius's closed door.

He swore under his breath as he debating what to do next.

Before he had the time to hesitate, he'd raised his hand and knocked.

"Go away." Sirius called from inside.

Regulus just knocked again.

Sirius didn't answer.

Regulus sighed and sat down, leaning his back against the door.

"You can't avoid me forever Sirius."

There still wasn't an answer but Regulus heard movement from inside the room and a soft thud came from the other side of the door.

"After I got sorted into Slytherin I cried." Regulus said. "Mother and Father sent me all these gifts and praise, saying that finally their efforts had paid off...but I'll never forget the look on your face when the hat didn't say Gryffindor."

He took a deep breath and let the back of his head bang gently against the wood.

"I sobbed all night long. I didn't care that I had our parents pride...but I couldn't handle the fact that you were disappointed in me. I know we haven't seen eye to eye in a long time and I know that you don't approve of—of how I live...but I really love him Sirius. Truly. And I really love you, even after everything. I've always loved you."

"Why didn't you come with me?" Sirius voice was muffled through the door but Regulus could hear him clear as day.

He closed his eyes, not answering for a long time.

"I was scared." Regulus whispered, "I've never been known to be brave."

"You didn't have to be." Sirius said, "I could've been brave enough for the both of us."

Regulus shook his head even though Sirius couldn't see it. "I wanted to leave. I was mad and resentful and I thought that you leaving meant that you didn't want any of it anymore. Including me."

"That's not right." Sirius said.

"I know," Regulus said. "I've learned since then. I had a lot of growing up to do."

"That day on the platform," Sirius started, "you said you'd never be able to forgive me for leaving."

"You'll never forgive me for staying." Regulus said back with a sigh.

"No," Sirius agreed, "no, I won't."

They didn't speak for a couple minutes, but then the door was opening and Regulus scrambled to his feet, almost falling over.

"Why now?" Sirius had deep bags under his eyes. "Why leave now? When I'm finally happy?"

"I had to...I wanted to." Regulus bit out, "you know I wanted to."

"You've always wanted to. What changed? Why now?"

Regulus didn't answer.

"I begged you to leave." Sirius shook his head, "and you wouldn't."

Regulus forced himself to meet his brother's stony glare, but he still didn't speak.

"Answer me!" Sirius roared, jabbing his wand into Regulus's chest. "Why now?"

"James asked me."  Regulus managed, almost choking on the words. "I left because of him—for him. He needed me."

"I needed you!" Sirius shouted.

"No." Regulus pushed the wand away from his chest. "No, you didn't—you don't. You never needed me, hell, you hardly even wanted me. You just felt guilty for leaving."

"That's not fair."

"But it's true."

Sirius shook his head. "James doesn't need you."

Regulus let out a tired sigh, "that won't work, Sirius."

"He doesn't." Sirius pressed, "he has me. He has Remus. He does not need you."

"Okay." Regulus pursed his lips, "fine. I need him then."

"You didn't leave with me." Sirius looked furious but his lip twitched, threatening to pull into a frown. "I begged you."

"It. Wasn't. Enough." Regulus articulated. "It was different for me than you, Sirius. I'm a Slytherin, my friends are Slytherins. I love you—I wanted to go, I wish I would've, but I'm not brave. I would've lost everything."

"You still lost everything you would've if you had left with me back then." Sirius accused.

"I didn't." Regulus's grey eyes were sad as he watched his brother struggle through his emotions. "I have James...I have my friends, I have freedom, our inheritance...Sirius I have you."

"So you stayed for the money." Sirius scoffed.

"No, actually," a soft smiled graced his face, "I defied our mother infront of everyone...I was ready to be disowned."

"You weren't?"

Regulus shook his head, "I think she was going to hold off incase I came to my senses...only heir and everything. You know she hated Cygnus, she would've died before letting him inherit."

Sirius nodded.

"I was under an unbreakable vow." Regulus admitted, "I had to obey everything Father said. He let me go, ordered me to actually, and then killed himself on my birthday so I'd inherit the title. He did care for us, Sirius, as fucked up as it was."

Sirius was frozen, his lips parted slightly as he stared at Regulus.

"Listen." Regulus sighed, "I'm not going anywhere, James is everything to me. I want to make this work, but you're going to have to try too."

He held out his hand as an offered truce.

"Fuck off." Sirius took a step back and slammed the door in Regulus's face.

Regulus frowned and let his arm fall back to his side. This was going to be even more difficult than he'd originally thought.

Chapter Text

James took up running.

Every time his thoughts got too loud he'd grab his trainers and run until the pounding of his feet was all he could focus on.

He ran until his entire body ached then stood under scalding water, scrubbing at skin that never felt completely clean.

It became a routine.

And then the letter came.

A single page letter inviting him to join a war that he didn't know his place in.

After graduating, most kids took the summer to spend time with friends and family, travel, and celebrate before finding a job the following fall.

James wasn't even sure he wanted to be an Auror yet, after all, he'd only been graduated for three days. He should've been allowed more time to figure out his future. And yet...it seemed to have been decided for him.

The Order of the Phoenix.

Not even two days later the second letter came; an invitation to tryout for the Falmouth Falcons.

Both letters were hidden in the bottom of James's trouser drawer.

He couldn't tell Regulus, who had made his opinion about James joining the war very clear. He couldn't tell Sirius who wasn't speaking to him, and he couldn't bring himself to tell Remus who had been thrown in the middle of the arguments between the three boys.

So James ran, put on a smile, and pretended everything was perfect.

If everything else was falling apart in the lives of those he loved, he'd stay stable. He had to.

He rinsed the suds out of his hair and toweled dry.

He braced his hands on the sinks counter and took a deep breath, tipping his head up towards the ceiling.

Everything was moving all too fast and in so many directions that James didn't even know what was happening in his own life. It was maddening, any control he once had was slipping away quicker than he could grab hold.

"James! Almost done?" Remus banged on the door, "you've been in there forever mate."

"Yeah." James sighed, "yeah, sorry, I'm done."

He fastened the towel around his waist and opened the door, letting the steam pour out.

"Thanks man." Remus said.

James nodded, retreating to his room.

"Hey." Regulus looked up. He was perched on the windowsill, his knees tucked up under his chin. "How was your run?"

"Good." James said, walking over, "what're you doing Love?"

He looked out the window to see Sirius gardening.

Regulus met his gaze with a sheepish smile.

"Oh Love," James sighed, "he'll come around."

"What if he doesn't?" Regulus sighed. "All of this would've been avoided if I wasn't such a fucking coward."

"That's not true." James said.

Regulus gave him a look. "It's absolutely true James. Think about it—If I had left with Sirius to start, he wouldn't be mad at either of us. We would probably still be together and my fucking father wouldn't be dead."

"Reg, you were fifteen."

"What a big difference two years makes." Regulus drawled sarcastically.

"I'm serious Regulus." James said. "You were only a child. Even now you're hardly an adult. Give yourself some grace Love."

"If it wasn't for you I would've never left." Regulus said. "How pathetic is that? I would've stayed and married Pandora, probably have popped out a few kids and served fucking Voldemort. Like Merlin James, what the fuck. All because I couldn't buck up and fucking run."

"You would've left eventually." James argued.

"Yeah maybe." Regulus said. "But even then I would've left to save Pandora from having to marry my sorry arse. Honestly I don't even know why you'd want to at this point."

"You're a good person Reg." James's voice softened and he moved forward to cradle his face. "Genuinely good...what you're saying about Pandora proves that fact ten times over...and I'm so lucky to be marrying you."

Regulus snorted, "yeah. Alright James."

"Really Love." James pressed a kiss to Regulus's temple, before sitting down infront of him. "What happened to your father wasn't your fault either. He chose to do what he did."

"Yeah." Regulus deflated, "yeah, I know."

"And trust me, Sirius can't stay mad forever," James said. "It'll work out, you'll see, we've just got to be patient."

"You're right." Regulus said, "I guess I'm just too up in my head about the lot of it."

James smiled, reaching to squeeze Regulus's knee gently. "We're a team, we'll do it together."

"Yeah?" Regulus sighed.

"Yeah." James smiled.

"Thanks James," Regulus said, leaning forward to press their foreheads together. "I'm so grateful for you."

"Good because you're stuck with me." James grinned.

"Sounds perfect."

James pulled back and stood, "let me get dressed and we can go out for a while, go into town or something."

"Do you think it's safe?" Regulus asked.

"Yeah," James said, "I've been keeping an eye out while I'm running. Nothing seems out of the typical, we should still be cautious though."

"Going out would be nice." Regulus said, looking out at the yard longingly.

"You know what?" James said, "put something nice on. We'll make a whole date out of it."

"A date?" Regulus smiled.

"If that catches your fancy," James said, "do you have muggle clothes?"

"Yeah," Regulus said, standing from the window, "your mum got me plenty for my birthday."

"Brilliant." James said, opening his wardrobe, selecting an outfit.

"What're we going to do?" Regulus bounced on the balls of his feet as he rifled through his own wardrobe.

"You'll see." James said.

The two of them got dressed quickly, folding their collars and gelling their hair.

"Mum, mind if me and Regulus take the car?" James called as they came down the stairs.

"Sure Love," Effie smiled, "will you be in for supper?"

James shook his head, "not tonight."

"Have fun darlings," Effie said.

"Bye Effie." Regulus waved, following James out into the garage.

"Wanna drive?" James asked, spinning the keys in his hand.

"Merlin no." Regulus said.

"Good, you can just sit there and look pretty for me then." James said, opening the passenger door.

"That I can do." Regulus said, sliding into the cherry red car.

James shut the door and walked around to the other side, climbing into the drivers seat.

He stepped on the clutch, turning the ignition on, shifted the car into reverse, released the handbrake and backed out of the garage.

"You make it look so easy," Regulus complained.

"You'll get the hang of it." James said, resting his hand on Regulus's thigh.

Regulus turned on the radio and rolled down the window, closing his eyes and breathing in summer.

“High Street is only about ten minutes from here,” James said as they got onto the road.

“Okay.” Regulus hummed.

As they drove, Regulus watched the roads become less residential and more town-like.

“Say, Regulus? Have you ever been to the cinema?” James said, making a left.

“No.”

James grinned and a couple minutes later, they turned into the car park of ABC Cinema.

“Grease….….Jaws 2……Damien: Omen 2.” James read. “Well I haven’t seen Jaws 1 or Damien 1 so I reckon it’ll have to be Grease.”

“What’s a Grease?” Regulus whispered.

“A film.” James said.

“Oh, muggle entertainment.” Regulus said.

“Yeah,” James said fondly, “except I think you’ll find it rather entertaining as well.”

He pulled his wallet out of his trousers and turned to the ticket box. “Two for the one forty Grease please.”

“£5.” The girl said.

James pulled out a colorful bill and handed it over in exchange for two slips of paper.

“Enjoy your show.”

“Cheers.” James waved, heading towards the entrance.

“Those are tickets?” Regulus asked. “Can I see?”

“Sure,” James handed them over as he went to grab the door.

“That’s odd parchment.” Regulus observed, turning it over in his hands.

“It’s paper.” James said, “like parchment but thinner, give it to that man so he can rip it.”

“Rip it?” Regulus frowned, “but you’ve just bought it.”

“It’s meant to be ripped,” James said.

Reluctantly, Regulus handed the two papers over and watched as they were torn in half.

“2, on your left.” The boy said.

“What’s that?” Regulus’s eyes widened as his gaze fell behind the ticket boy.

“That’s the snack bar.” James said.

“James, I want your wallet.” Regulus said, holding out a hand expectantly.

“Do you know how to use the bills?” James asked, passing his wallet over without hesitation.

“I reckon it’s pretty self explanatory, no?” Regulus asked, “you match the price to the number on the bill.”

“More or less,” James said.

“I’m sure I can figure it out.” Regulus said, already walking towards the snacks, “besides, I did take muggle studies.”

Ten minutes later, James had his arms full of Regulus’s treats.

“What’re you doing?” Regulus asked coming out of the loo.

“Having a Curly Wurly.” James said.

“Why?”

“Why?” James repeated. “Well I rather like Curly Wurlys.”

“But that was mine.” Regulus protested.

“What?” James looked down at his arms with wide eyes. “You’ve got all of this for yourself? I thought we were going to share.”

“If you wanted your own you should’ve bought it.” Regulus said.

“Oh I see,” James said, “I can buy your snacks and carry your snacks but you can’t share? Sharing is caring Regulus.”

Regulus crossed his arms, “says who?”

“Well pretty much everybody.” James scoffed.

“I’ve never heard that.”

“Oh come on.” James groaned. “I think you were full of shite when you said you didn’t like to lie.”

Regulus gasped. “How dare you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” James sighed, “come on Love, let’s go get our seats.”

The cinema was crowded and Regulus and James had to shuffle their way into the middle of the second aisle.

“Why are they’re so many bloody people in here?” Regulus grumbled, “and why are the seats so close together? I have a random girl’s thigh pressed against mine.”

“Do you want to switch?” James offered.

“No,” Regulus shifted uncomfortably, “its fine.”

Regulus watched the film, utterly transfixed.

James watched Regulus.

“That was brilliant.” Regulus grinned as they left the cinema.

“You liked it?” James grabbed his hand, steering him back outside.

They both squinted walking back out into the daylight.

“It feels like it should be dark out.” Regulus complained, “my eyes are burning.”

“Yeah it’ll take a second,” James said blinking. “That was probably one of the best movies I’ve ever seen.”

“Danny Zuko was like a cross of you and my brother.” Regulus said, walking towards the car.

“I can see that,” James laughed, tugging on Regulus’s arm, “not yet, let’s go walk.”

“Where are we going?” Regulus asked.

“Dinner.” James said, “considering you’re still hungry after you ate literally everything at the cinema?”

“Are you calling me fat?”

“Never Darling.”

“Mhm. Alright.” Regulus said.

James laughed, dropping his hand to swing his arm around his fiancés shoulder, pulling him in and planting a kiss on his forehead. “I love you.”

Regulus smiled, “where’re we eating?”

“You’ll see,” James said, “so what do you think. Rizzo? Gay?”

“Please. Rizzo was the definition of a lesbian.” Regulus said. “Danny wasn’t the only one who wanted to get into Sandy’s knickers.”

“She was obsessed.” James said, “a reluctant poof.”

“Takes one to know one.” Regulus shrugged.

“Oi! You’re nippy today.” James said.

“Just wait for later.” Regulus said, giving James an innocent smile.

“Naughty.” James said, messing Regulus’s curls.

They came to stop in front of a restaurant called Sabatini.

“Reservation under James.”

“Is this an Italian restaurant?” Regulus asked, the fondest expression on his face.

“Figured it would be closer to the real thing than anything I could make at home.” James said.

Regulus took a few steps forward and pressed himself against James’s front.

James laughed, wrapping his arms around Regulus, swaying them slightly.

Regulus did this sometimes when his emotions were overwhelming.

“Let’s go sit.” James kissed the top of Regulus’s head, ignoring the nasty glares they got from onlookers.

Some things would just never change.

The hostess led them to a secluded booth in the back of the room.

“Any recommendations?” James asked as he read through the menu.

“Linguine Picanti Con Nduja,” Regulus said pointing to an entree on James’s menu. “È piccante”

“Cosa stai ricevendo?” James asked.

“Tagliatelle Ai Gamberoni,” Regulus said before his eyes widened. “Quello era un buon italiano. Ti sei esercitato?”

“A volte.” James admitted.

Regulus softened, reaching to caress James’s cheek, “oh amore mio.”

The waiter cleared his throat, interrupting the moment to ask what they’d like to drink.

“Can we have a bottle of the Cabernet?” Regulus asked.

“Can I see your id sir?” The waiter asked, scribbling the order on his pad.

“Sorry?” Regulus asked.

“Your id.” The waiter repeated.

James dug out his wallet and held out a card.

The man inspected it for a moment before handing it back.

“Can we also have an order of calamari?” James asked.