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When Stede Bonnet had found his crew by following a familiar and oddly trusting seagull to that tiny rock in the middle of nowhere , he was angry .
He’d felt it flare up inside him , red hot as the sun beating down upon him , beating down upon him throughout the days he’d spent with his hands on the oars , rowing hard and long enough that he could no longer feel the blisters . He wanted to be angry , when he saw that Jim , Frenchie and Lucius were missing , when he saw the remaining members sun baked ,starving and almost resorting to cannibalism. He was also a tiny bit relieved that they hadn’t already eaten each other , as Buttons had suggested doing barely a month ago .
God , was it only a month ago since before he’d met the infamous BlackBeard ?
That anger had dissipated like the morning mist and his heart sank like a ship bested in battle when Olu , the only person who hadn’t passed out from exhaustion and hunger , told him of Ed’s state after he’d returned to the ship . Stede had almost believed that he’d made his way to China , it was definitely something crazy enough that BlackBeard would do . Instead , Ed had made his way back to the ship , a husk of himself , BlackBeard or Ed . His sunken heart clenched and stung when he heard how depressed he’d become , wearing his red robe , the very one he’d worn when Edward and Jack had spent the night on the beach , writing and then singing a song that , contrary to the lyrics , showed he was still holding onto Stede , even if it meant letting go of everything else .
Last Olu or any of the crew saw him , it was him clad fully in black leather , with dark kohl circles around his eyes and Izzy Hands with a missing toe.
Ships were supposed to avoid lighthouses , lest they crack up on the rocks . Stede had left him because he didn’t want to watch his love bash himself to pieces, because Stede Bonnet defiled beautiful things , and Ed deserved so, so many beautiful things . Yet , by leaving , by taking that light away , Ed still bashed himself on the rocks and was then forced to pull himself together, blinded and alone in the dark .
Edward Teach had embraced the darkness because he thought there was no more light left for him in his life . Stede Bonnet was going to give it back to him.
Whatever it takes .
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It took them a week to encounter The Revenge again . They crossed paths with a small fishing boat on the way who’d invited them in for some food and clean water . The old fisherman onboard had told them the tales that had been floating around , that BlackBeard had massacred the people at the institution and had returned to the sea , bloodthirsty as ever , now calling himself The Kraken , invading any ship in his path and stabbing anyone that stood in his way, though hardly anyone dared . Oddly enough , they all survived , with barely any injury but a very painful stab wound to their left sides .
“2 Inches to the right and he would have killed them !” The old man had whispered over his beer, “ those laddies got angels over their shoulders .”
Judging by the stories , The Revenge was already some hundred miles ahead of them , a distance that would be impossible to cross in their tiny dinghy , much less catch up to .
So it was a complete surprise when Roach exclaimed at something he’d seen from his telescope on the horizon and they all clambered for a look ,seeing the familiar silhouette of their beloved ship barely 10 miles away.
The poor old fisherman was scared half to death at the sight of the dreaded flag , now depicting the skeleton stabbing a bleeding heart , and ushered them off his ship while simultaneously speeding away as quickly as the wind would allow , so quickly that Wee John almost capsized the dinghy as he landed in it .
Meanwhile, the crew started rowing towards it .
There was some hesitation . After all , the current captain of that ship had left them to die on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere , but their captain had returned along with their hope and their family were still captive . Be it with reasoning or swords they would work it through , as a crew , not one person less . There was also some hope in the fact that , as dangerous as BlackBeard and Izzy Hands may be , their crew was still nearly twice their size.
It was dark , and the ship had stopped by the time they made it to its side . Stede , with a lot more skill and grace that he had with a rope ladder than he did when he first became a pirate , skirted up the rickety boards.
And was promptly spun around with a knife pressed to his throat in one swift motion , the silver blade hovering just an inch above it .
He smiled .
“Hello , Jim .”
“They said you were dead.” Even though their voice held steady , he could hear the shock in their words. He grimaced .
“Ah yes , sorry about that . That was just a touch of fuckery.”
The knife came away and he turned to see its owner . Jim looked worse for wear ,one eye black and shut , the other full of skepticism . Their jacket was gone , and their arms riddled with cuts and bruises , some healed , some still healing .
“ Good Heavens , Jim ! What did they do to you?” He scanned their frame, looking for any deeper wounds . There were bloodstains peppering their clothes and some spots which could only come from cuts , but none of it seemed to be deep.
The caring act and the “Ow!” delivered at the swift punch to the arm were able to convince them that their stubborn captain was still very much alive and Jim sighed at the ridiculousness of their situation and at the question’s heavy answer .
“The crew does the dirty work , Captain’s orders,” they mumbled .
He nodded , he knew Ed wouldn’t kill another person personally , not willingly . He’d known since that night in the bathroom after the fuckery , a belief solidified when he heard the old fisherman talk about the stab wounds of his victims . That night when Olu had stayed in his cabin , he’s gotten drunk and confided to him about Jim losing their family and then growing up with a nun who taught them to kill . Neither of them ever brought it up again and Stede pretended not to have heard . But he had never forgotten it , and it didn’t make it any easier to hear that Jim was still forced to .
He signalled the others on board , Jim flying into Olu’s arms the moment they laid eyes on him . Frenchie came down from his post in the Crow's nest , with a “holy shit , you’re all alive! We’ve been sailing around in circles trying to find you !”
Stede cleared his throat. “ Right , so now that the whole crew’s back togeth—”
“Wait , where is Lucius ?”
Sure enough , the scribe was nowhere to be found .
The unease was palpable until Frenchie chuckled .
“ Don’t worry , he’s fine . BlackBeard tried to throw him overboard but I got him back on board and into the kitchen . He’s been living in that secret passage under the cabinet for the past couple of weeks , being a complete drama queen about the cramps in his back and the lack of vitamin D and the non-existent rats everytime I check on him , but he’s fine .”
The crew alternatively murmured , sighed and laughed their relief . Black Pete , who had been glancing back and forth uneasily , now scoffed ( a bit too loudly ) and stood up straight again .
“ I’ve also got Ivan , Fang and Izzy tied up in the brig . They were being pricks, so I kicked their asses .” Jim added proudly .
This got cheers and laughter , and a proud and affectionate peck from Olu.
The moment was broken by Buttons addressing the Moby Dick in the room.
“ So war wee gon do now , Captain ?” He garbled , metal teeth gleaming in the moonlight.
“I’m going to talk to him ,” came the succinct reply . This was met with whispered protests he batted down . “I did this to him ,” he added regretfully ,” and I’m going to make it right .”
“Naw , Cap , it’s way too dangerous!” Said Roach, “he made Dizzy eat his own toe !”
Ah , that explained the missing toe . Stede shook off his queasiness at the thought, but the line still made something in his heart bloom . He remembered the last time they mentioned toe-eating , the 2 of them sat on a beach , talking about running away together to an impossible life that seemed just possible enough to happen . Ed had looked so happy and Stede knew he was going to do anything for the man .
“ So , uh , I reckon what …… makes Ed happy …… is …… you .”
“ You make Stede happy.”
He shook himself back to the present.
“ I know , I know , which is why I have this .” Stede pulled out a long dagger from a concealed sheath in his pants. The blade itself was blunt and was more for show than it was for killing , but would still hurt. “ And if something happens , I need you all as backup. But I need to talk to him first . Alone .”
The others sighed and reluctantly backed up , making a barrier that surrounded the captain’s quarters. Stede nodded in silent thanks , before turning towards the cabin and with the dagger drawn . He didn’t want to have to use it , but he knew how dangerous Ed could be . He didn't want to hurt him anymore than he already did , but he knew he had to protect himself .
He wasn’t sure what he expected when he opened the cabin door , not that there was much he could see . The room was dark and smelled musty and stale , of salt and alcohol and gunpowder , the curtains drawn and the candles unlit. In the dim moonlight that spilled into the room , it looked like a darkened lair straight out of his books .
Oh God , his books .
They were gone , every single one of them was gone , not even a spare page on the floor . He scanned the room again , and found that it was the same for everywhere else . Every single sign of him ever being there . Gone .
Except the painting . Mary’s painting . The lighthouse was still pristine in its frame at the foot of his bed , seeming to glow a little compared to the darkness of the room .
Curled up on the opposite side , almost merging with the darkness around him , was Ed .
Stede sheathed his blade and quietly toed his way towards The Kraken and the Lighthouse.
“Edward ? Ed ?”
Ed lifted his head to peer at the source of the sound . Stede expected him to be angry , to attack him. Either passive aggression or massive aggression was plausible . Ed might even stab him , this time in all the important bits .
He didn’t expect the sad chuckle that escaped his lips .
“ Of course they sent you .” He growled , though there was no malice behind it , just utter resignation. “Of course they sent you to take me to Davy fucking Jones's fucking locker .”
What ?
“ Edward ! I’m not gonna kill you !”
He laughed , a touch hysterically, “of course you’re not , mate ! You can’t ! You’re dead ! You and the Boy ! I’ve been seeing him in the night and now you’ve come for me too !”
The crack in his voice forced cracks into his heart . Edward just spent an entire week thinking he was dead , days after thinking he had left him . He fell to his knees before the bed , hands on the edge of it, his face twisting in his own anguish.
“Edward , I’m not dead .”
Ed laughed thickly
“ Oh -Oh sure , Bonnet . You can try to fucking convince me that you’re alive and all that shit , but I know that if I punch you—”
His fist collided with warm , solid flesh instead of thin air , eliciting a yelp that was more from surprise than actual pain , the punch itself lacking teeth or focus . Focus which quickly bled into his eyes like watercolour .
He pulled his hand back like it had burned him .
“Y-yo-you’re alive ?” He gawked , looking like he was still trying to parse whether or not this was a cruel joke .
Stede took his hand.
“ I'm alive,” he said gently , not wanting to spook the man anymore than he already had, “ and so is Lucius . The crew is fine . They’re alright . I’ve got them , and now I’ve got you. ”
He placed a hand on Ed's cheek , the stubble coarse under his palm,“I’m not going anywhere, I promise .”
Ed wanted to believe him.
He wanted to believe him so badly , wanted to nuzzle against the warmth on his face and kiss the man before him senseless . He wanted to feel that joy of being loved and wanted again . He wanted to feel alive again .
He wanted to be Edward Teach again.
But Ed was tired . So fucking tired . He was ready to leave everything to start a life with this impossible man , but was then the one left behind . He tried letting go of everything that had anything to do with Stede Bonnet and then lost him completely . Or so he thought . Now he was back and Ed didn’t know what to do or think or feel .
Edward Teach was a mess he couldn’t handle , didn’t want to handle because doing so would be living with the part of him that remembered what it was like to live with nice things for once , and not just the little boy whose mother told him that they weren’t the kind of people who got nice things , whose father make them cower .
Man and boy both died on the docks, died because they cared too much for things they couldn’t have , and the Kraken took their corpses .
It was why he had all of Stede’s possessions thrown out , except for the lighthouse to serve as a warning.
He couldn’t afford to be vulnerable . He couldn’t afford to let Edward Teach live , even as he could feel him banging from his prison somewhere deep inside him , even as the sight of the man he loved right there in front of him made him feel like he could breathe again in the suffocating darkness that had enclosed him.
He couldn’t , no matter how badly he wanted to .
“No. Never again.”
He didn’t even realise he’d said it out loud until he saw Stede’s face fall.
Stede turned his gaze away .
“ I -I have no words to express how sorry I am, nor how much I dearly wish to make things right .”
He took a deep breath and looked at him again, his eyes were downcast and shining, hopeful and remorseful .
“But I want to try ……Will you -will you let me ? C-can we try again ?”
Something in that earnest plea and that hopeful face crumpled his own and what was left of his wavering resolve . The warmth of his words and his palm still stubbornly against his cheek melted the icy prison he’d built around his heart , leaving it exposed and raw.
His lighthouse had returned and there was a future ahead of them . He could see it now. He wanted to try again. They both did. They both do .
The Kraken retreated with the darkness and Edward Teach sobbed into the hands of his lover.
They stayed like that for good knows how long, Stede wiping away his tears with the pads of his now calloused thumbs until he regained his composure, telling him about Chauncey , about why he left , about everything he did just to come back to him .
And Goddammit did that make him cry harder , for the love he felt for this man , for how foolish he’d been , for the way he still held his face like it was something precious .
When he finally managed to open his eyes again , he couldn’t help the quirk of his eyebrows . Some of the kohl must have washed off and Stede must have used it on himself , for his own eyes were now clumsily ringed with black .
He smirked ,” what do you think ?” And Ed huffed his first real laugh in weeks .
“I think you wear savage things well.”
Stede’s cheeks grew endearingly red before he started rambling about getting a tattoo or piercing .
Ed stopped him with a hand to his collar .
“Can you shut up for a second ?” Before pulling him down to kiss him long and sweet .
When they pulled back for air they were forehead to forehead .
“ You came back .” Ed breathed , his eyes closed , the words reverent like a man in prayer to his God . He might as well have been . He was eternally grateful to any God who brought Stede back to him .
“ Never left.”
His eyes flew open and he tilted his head upwards with a severe lift of his eyebrows.
At least Stede had the decency to look sheepish .
“ I-I meant my heart ! I left my heart with you ! Although I suppose it’s not much of a consolation.” He stuttered apologetically.
A grin spread across his face , his cheek muscles finally remembering how to do so again .
God, he loved this man so much .
Ed took his hand and planted a feather-light kiss on his knuckles.
It felt right .
“ Now it is .”
There were still things he had to sort through , an infinitely long list of things . He had trust to regain , relationships to repair and adventures to be had . He also had a very toxic first mate to deal with . But he didn’t have to do it alone anymore , and certainly not in the dark .
After all , he had his lighthouse back to guide him home.