Chapter Text
It hurt
It hurt more than he could bear. He felt himself shatter. His heart, a million pieces flowing through his blood, flowing through his veins. The sharp shards scratched at him from under his skin. It prickled and stabbed at him.
He looked at the man who he came to trust. Who gave him warmth for the first time. He who Childe used to look at as if he were the world, now overlapping with the visage of his father. Their backs and silhouettes overlapped. He knew this feeling. He’s felt it once before.
He’d been abandoned.
Nothing they had was real. Nothing they’d done was real. Childe looked back to every interaction, every moment they’d spent together. Trying to see when it started, if he really was his friend, his lover-
“-audience with the Tsaritsa. Come, Childe”
Childe looked toward Signora. His face must’ve looked wrong. She looked back at him with a small flinch. Her subtle surprise slowly bleeding into a queer look of understanding.
How laughable. Being pitied by Signora of all people.
“I’m not sharing a boat with the likes of you”, Childe rasped. His voice sounded much more bitter than he thought.
The Traveler glanced at him whilst Signora left. Concerned for him no doubt. At least he still had one friend.
The Traveler reached toward him, “Childe-”
“Sorry to cut this short but I have some things I need to take care of.” Childe says as he dashed away from the bank.
He doesn’t look back. He can’t look back.
And so he never comes back.
—-------------------------------------------------------
The next day, Childe found himself wandering around Liyue.
Osial left Liyue stronger. The people felt proud. Why wouldn’t they be? They defeated a God, one that had been said to have terrorised Liyue even before the Archon war. A legendary beast sealed with the hands of a united Liyue. They defeated a God, they did it without any deaths, without any casualties.
How stupid. How stupid of them not to find anything wrong with that. How is it that a literal god capable of wiping several adepti and gods alike be brought down by a measly floating chamber. Do they not find it suspicious that not a single person died. Or perhaps it's their complacency and pride that prevents that.
It’s all Childe could hear. The boisterous laughter heavily contrasted with his mood. At least everyone was too busy celebrating to notice him. No doubt everyone would harbour distaste toward him and his people. Heck, he’s already felt it. He felt it in the way the Qixing had created unnecessary paperwork for the Northland Bank. In how some of his agents avoid leaving the bank for fear of being harassed. In how even independent Snezhnayan merchants are slowly being deprived of their trade.
“How shameless”
Childe looks toward the voice. One of the Liyuen merchants spotted him. Immediately everyone’s eyes were on him.
He felt goosebumps form on his skin.
He’s a Harbinger for Archon’s sake. But he’s felt this before. The scrutiny. The hate. The thick air of loathing, of unwantedness, of pure unadulterated disgust. He felt it in his family. How they looked at him like a mere beast. And it’s all he can think of now. He knows logically that neither events have anything to do with each other, but the way they parallel each other fits far too well.
Childe can’t breathe. He’s too tired to keep up his charade of the charismatic “young lord”. So all he does is release a shaky breath. He doesn’t speed up, he doesn’t care. Slowly, very slowly, he stops feeling.
He doesn't look back
—---------------------------------------------
For the past week he’d been busy arranging funerals. How ironic.
Many of his agents stationed in the Chasm had reportedly died. Starvation they said. A betrayal from their Liyuen partners. They were supposed to transport and provide them with food.
He'd talked to some of the survivors. They'd still believed them to be heroes. Partners of Liyue in stopping whatever darkness permeates the Chasm. Protecting miners and milileth alike from its corruption. When faced with abuse, they merely continued with their duty.
Childe looks down at their pictures and belongings. Some of them had written letters to their families. Some had left wills.
“May the Tsaritsa’s benevolence be with you” Childe whispers in quiet reverence. A small prayer. A small apology to the lives lost. To the people who became mere consequences to Morax’s scheme.
His chest hurts as he remembers. Morax must have known this would happen. How deplorable. Childe would have understood if he alone took on Liyue’s ire (after all it’s his job). But involving his agents, his people, had left a putrid taste upon his tongue. All he could now is deliver to their families what small keepsakes had survived.5
"Ekatrina, send these to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor." Childe pushed the files toward his secretary.
"Don't you want to go there yourself? " Ekatrina looks at him.
Childe merely sighs.
Silence falls upon his office. Ekatrina breathes and bows. She turns away, but spares a glance before she leaves.
Childe doesn't look back.
—---------------------------
"Fatui scum"
It was the only thing that Childe hears before he's thrown off a cliff.
It was by no means a tall cliff, nor is it short either. Nonetheless, he falls with the ground to his back. Somehow it reminds Childe of his descent to the Abyss once. His flashback ends as he slams down. The speed of his fall is somehow heightened by what he feels to be anemo.
Shit, everything hurts. He looks up and-
"How dare you" a masked man says, standing above him. The man's polearm stabbed deep into the ground next to his face.
Childe smells acid in the air. Wisps of black mixed with the green anemo radiate from the man.
Childe bares his teeth into a mocking smile.
"Kill me" he dares. He looks into the aggressor's eyes. He stares deep and sees corruption as dark as his. He recognizes this person. Adeptus Xiao he recalls. The last yaksha comes to avenge his not dead lord.
For a few moments nothing happens. And despite the strain in the atmosphere writhing, waiting to be broken by a strike, Childe closes his eyes, resigned.
He waits… and when he opens his eyes, the yaksha is gone.
For a while, Childe stays there. Savouring the pain of what he feels to be a cracked rib, a bruised back, and a few lacerations on his skin.
It seems like Morax is yet to inform his precious adepti of his plan. That's dangerous, far too dangerous for him and the Fatui.
He contemplates staying there. Slowly bleeding away. But he rises anyway. He doesn't have those kinds of wounds anyway, the kind that bleeds.
He stands and drags his body away, not looking back.
Unbeknownst to him, a certain teal tipped yaksha watches in the shadows. Eyes narrowing, full of suspicion. Whether it be toward the Harbinger or Childe's response, he doesn't know.
—-------------------
Childe has been feeling lethargic recently. He hasn't been sleeping well, so he supposes it's just fatigue. It isn't something that warrants a trip to the doctor.
That is, until he's poisoned.
Somehow, someone got the jump on him. It happened while he was on a commission. Whoever did this must have paid those treasure hoarders.
He was doing fine. A good fight to start the day. But he didn't anticipate another person hiding in the shadows. An arrow shot out while he was busy with the last few.
Immediately after, he made his way to Liyue Harbor. Hopefully Baizhu won't overcharge him that much.
Somehow this leads him to a pregnancy diagnosis.