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"Hey Knux, go take a bath, hon."
"Wash yourself off, child."
"Are your hands okay? You're sure you don't have a splinter?"
"Wrap your fists tightly, my love. You don't want to get hurt."
"Move that box for me, will ya?"
"That boulder - could you move it?"
Ultimately, Knuckles is confused. This seems to be a recurring emotion of his recently, and it isn't pleasant. To go from being set in his determination, from complete and total assuredness to constantly unsure…Knuckles sighs, hugging tighter to the emerald in his arms.
There are a few things he does know for sure:
- He is the protector of the master emerald. After a few mishaps from Sonic, they'd agreed to let Knuckles carry the burden.
- He is living in the Wachowski tribe's house. They'd agreed to let him stay, along with the fox child.
- Tom and Maddie are bringing back memories that Knuckles would rather stay buried.
That in itself would not have been a problem, if Knuckles were strong enough to ignore it. But certain things - certain things are harder to ignore.
Like the fact that Knuckles, in a moment of weakness, had called Tom "Fada."
Sonic had assumed it was a "cuss word," and Knuckles had been sent to his room accordingly. The echidna is intent to let them believe that it is a cuss word, and not his native word for father.
That had been three days ago, and since that startling revelation - the realization that perhaps Knuckles is getting too close to these people - he's kept his distance from the family. The Wachowski's constant attempts to reach out to him are stifled easily enough, so mealtimes are the only instances in which Knuckles allows himself to be near them.
For what does it say about Knuckles that he's so ready to replace his fallen father?
His mother - well he'd never known her. She'd fallen to the war far before Knuckles had even hatched from his egg, but he knows from his tribe's words that she's been watching him grow from the sky battlefield. But his father. Who had raised him. Who had given Knuckles his destiny, had trained him and loved him and - died for him.
Is Knuckles so selfish that after so short a time he could replace him just like that?
And so it is that he sits on the grass outside - alone with his emerald and the stars above.
"Have I dishonored you, father?" He rumbles, in his native language. Sometimes he thinks he's gotten better at speaking common than Echidnan - he hasn't spoken it to anyone in such a long time - but his father had never learned the common language, as far as he knows. "I promise I mean not to replace you…am I wrong to love them like parents?"
He must be. Humans are weak. To see a pair of them as parents - to compare, even so indirectly, his own parents to a couple of humans - surely it's disrespectful.
"I only hope that…that you still…love-"
"Knuckles?"
Knuckles' head snaps back to the house, where Maddie has stepped onto the deck of the backyard. Tom follows close behind, pushing Sonic back inside the sliding doors not-so-subtly.
"Mm," he grunts in acknowledgement, forcing his face into an expression of careful disinterest.
"What are you doing out here bud? It's gettin' pretty late."
Tom's concern does nothing but make Knuckles feel worse. Why does this remind him of his father? The two of them - they're incomparable…
Knuckles ignores the question outright, staring into the multiple facets of the emerald.
"D'you wanna come inside?" Maddie asks, gentle.
"No."
"Are…are you sure?"
"Mm."
Tom sighs. There's a pause where the couple stares at Knuckles, perhaps waiting for him to make a move, before Tom asks, "Where are you gonna sleep?"
Knuckles surveys the grass around him stubbornly, then shrugs.
Maddie frowns, resigned - and yet there’s an underlying resolution in her words as well. "I don't know what we did. But we can't keep waiting for you to tell us, and we can't force you to either. So if you decide to tell us what's wrong, we'll be inside." Their rejected trek back to the house makes Knuckles feel things he's felt many times before - namely guilt.
He watches them leave, heart in his stomach.
Had he…done something wrong?
…Again?
He turns his face back to the stars, sliding under the deck. It isn't comfortable in the slightest, but it's better than some places he's slept in, and he'll be okay. For the night.
He'll find somewhere else to go tomorrow; he'll escape this confusing situation. He won't have to worry about dishonoring his mother and father, won't have to worry about disappointing Tom and Maddie, and he'll be alone again.
Like always.
It isn't until two pairs of footsteps crunch through the grass and stuff a blanket under the deck with him that he realizes this won't be as easy as he thinks.
…He does care.
And that's the problem.
~ ~ ~
When Knuckles wakes, it's to the soft breathing of someone next to him.
Sonic has snuck beside Knuckles sometime in the night, quieter than he has any reason to be. He’s even managed to worm his way under the blanket. Knuckles should have woken up…he's not alert enough anymore. He's growing soft.
"Hedgehog," Knuckles states.
Sonic's eyes peek open, and he smiles. "Oh, you're awake! I see you found the deck - I used to come down here all the time , 'specially before I met mom and dad officially, it's more comfortable than a cave if you imagine the bottom of it's like a roof. Nowhere near as comfy as a bed though. Like the one you have in the basement - that one's comfier than mine!" He fidgets as he talks, kicking his feet restlessly behind him.
Knuckles frowns contemplatively. "You don't want me to leave?"
Sonic frowns back, though his expression is - more panicked. As if one wrong move will make him bolt. "Were you planning to?"
Knuckles hesitates, then tilts his head. "I am not sure yet."
"Well I don't want you to leave - and Tails doesn't either, he wanted to sleep outside with us too but I told him no, I don't want him catching a cold or something. And I don't know why you're upset, but I can make it better, I promise!"
"You shouldn't make promises so lightly, hedgehog."
"Try me! What's up with you?"
"What is up…oh you mean what is bothering me? Well…" Knuckles takes in Sonic's imploring eyes, more patient than the echidna has ever seen him. "I feel as though…I am dishonoring the memory of my father by…associating myself with these humans. By feeling as though they could be…my new parents."
Sonic's face falls. "Oh. Well. I don't think your parents would mind so much that you have a roof over your head and someone to love you. At least I hope they wouldn't. I know my mom wouldn’t."
Knuckles groans. "Yes but - it hasn't been long enough! Only -"
"Only like ten years! Will it ever be long enough?"
Knuckles pauses, fiddling with the emerald. "No, I don't believe so."
Sonic nods. "That's okay! You don't have to forget your biological parents to love new ones. You don't ever have to stop loving them, or mourning them, or whatever you wanna do. But I think they'd probably like you to be happy. And I don't think they'd mind sharing you with Tom and Maddie. There’s enough of you to go around anyways."
Knuckles thinks for a moment, then presses the emerald into Sonic's side - it feels more fitting than a hug, this show of trust. "Thank you, brother."
Sonic beams, clapping Knuckles on the back. "No problem! Let's get inside 'fore Tails thinks we're ignoring him."
Knuckles follows the hedgehog through the sliding doors, only slightly nervous to face the Wachowski couple. Sonic has no issue approaching problems, and normally Knuckles could say the same about himself, but he supposes it's not the same when they're emotional problems. Sonic has a certain impatience that speeds up these sorts of things.
Tom and Maddie are sitting at the kitchen table, deep in some conversation about Maddie's work that Knuckles doesn't understand. His intent is to leave them there, to avoid them just a little longer, but Sonic shoves him towards the table and runs up to the attic.
Knuckles growls as his hip bumps into the edge of the table, and he tightens his grip on the emerald when the two humans' attention turns to him.
Tom raises an eyebrow, swallowing a bite of his breakfast. "Did Sonic-"
Knuckles interrupts him. "Yes.”
Maddie rolls her eyes fondly. “If you’re not ready to talk, you don’t have to.”
Knuckles hesitates. It’s helpful, the lack of expectation the two adults have for his explanation. The fact that he’s given an option makes it much easier to talk. “His methods are annoying. But - he helped me realize I have been…taking my problems out on you two."
"Oh honey, it's all-"
Knuckles shakes his head, interrupting once more. "No. I was being rude because I thought that - that loving you somehow meant I no longer loved my - my father."
Tom and Maddie glance at each other meaningfully. Tom peers into his eyes. "Your father."
"Mm."
Maddie's eyes go all soft around the edges…once again, a trait reminiscent of Knuckles’ father. "Oh baby. We didn't mean to make it seem like we wanted to replace him, or anyone! We just want you to be safe."
Knuckles nods. "I know. And I’m sorry for ignoring you. But I think I have come to think of you as parents of a sort."
Tom chuckles. "Well that's good, ‘cause I think we've come to think of you as a son…of a sort."
Knuckles smiles at the admission.
There's a beat of silence before Tom slides out of his seat. "Oh what the heck," he mumbles, reaching out to pull Knuckles into a hug. Maddie follows shortly after.
If this is how Tom and Maddie love, perhaps Knuckles' father won't mind.