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“Are you sure about this?” Erend’s voice asked, hitching his pack a little higher on his shoulder as they stood outside the eastern door of the base.
Aloy nodded. “Of course. I know it’s a trek, but we’re going to need the Carja on our side for the fight against nemesis, and you know it’ll be a faster conversation if we ask Avad in person.”
Erend snorted. “You mean if you ask Avad in person. He doesn’t listen to me like he listens to you.”
Aloy looked over at him with a small grin. Ignoring the actual point of what Erend was saying, she responded with, “Don’t be too sure, you can be plenty convincing when you need to be.”
Erend let out a pleased “Heh.” at the compliment. It was something that Aloy had taken upon herself to do more often, complimenting him. She knew he had difficulty recognizing his own worth, and ever since the start of their… whatever they had, she had made sure to remind him whenever possible.
“Now come on. I’ll get us a couple of Chargers to make the journey easier.”
Erend nodded, and with a glance backward at the door to the base, he started heading down the mountain.
Aloy clicked on her focus communicator and let Beta and GAIA know they were headed out. She had said goodbye to them the night before, knowing that her journey would be a long one. She was headed out to Meridian and then onward to the Cut, hoping to garner the support of both the Carja and the Banuk before heading back to the west.
She also needed to head back to the Sacred Lands at some point and talk to Sona. But she didn’t want to do that without Zo. Neither of them should do that without the other.
She got a confirmation from GAIA and a goodbye from Beta and then she followed Erend on his path down the mountain. It took only a couple of minutes to override two Chargers once they were on the ground, and then they were off.
It wasn’t the first time they had traveled together since they started being more than just friends, but it was the first time since Aloy had let it slip she harbored some mushy feelings, and she was a little worried it would cause some weirdness between them.
She shouldn’t have. Erend treated her just as he always did, holding a conversation about the new show Morlund was putting together as they rode, voice filtering through their focus connection when it was harder to hear through the air. He carried the conversation, offering time for Aloy to respond, but not expecting that she would. It was easy, just as being with Erend was always easy.
They made great time, switching Chargers once and avoiding any other machines had them reaching Barren Light by nightfall.
Erend stopped her at the cliff face just before they got to the field where the failed embassy had taken place, hand reaching out and gently tugging on her shoulder to get her attention. When she looked back at him, he seemed nervous.
“Um, Aloy?” He ran his hand through his mohawk and grabbed at the back of his neck. “Maybe it would be best if we camped out here tonight.”
Aloy furrowed her brows in confusion. She knew that she preferred sleeping on a bedroll on the ground, but she was pretty confident Erend had a preference for real beds. She voiced as much to him, more of a statement than a question, but he understood what she meant.
“Yeah, that’s true. But, well.” He shifted his weight and Aloy sighed.
“What is it, Erend?” She didn’t have patience for floundering.
“I’m just not sure how much information you want to get around is all. And if we want to keep this,” he gestured between the two of them, “private, then sleeping around the Oseram is going to require we stay pretty far apart. We’re a talkative bunch.”
Aloy glanced back towards the gate to Barren Light, and then looked at Erend again. “And you’re saying you’d rather stay with me tonight than sleep in a real bed?”
Erend just cleared his throat and Aloy could swear she saw his face reddening in the dying light. She grinned and tried to mimic his teasing tone. “I’m flattered, Erend, didn’t realize you thought so highly of me.”
He straightened his posture, his arms dropping to his sides in what almost looked like a battle stance. “Yeah, you did.”
She felt her breath stop short at the intensity of his words. There was a beat of silence before she realized he was waiting for a response. Something to tell him how to act in this moment. He always tried to hold back, to go at her pace. And here, she realized, he needed her to give him a lead to follow.
“Yeah,” she said, her voice stronger than she felt. “I did.”
He nodded, and then his entire body seemed to relax in front of her. “Alright. I’ll set up camp.”
She smiled lightly at him, “I’ll grab us some good firewood.” It was a familiar routine by now, and one she loved.
Erend nodded distractedly, rummaging through their packs to find the bedrolls and other supplies. Ever since that first time they camped together after starting the new chapter of their relationship, they continued to only use one tent. Erend was getting used to it now, only blushing a little as he set it up.
Aloy was getting used to it too, sleeping next to someone, allowing herself to be vulnerable around him. It still made her twinge sometimes, but those instances were becoming extremely few and far between.
She came back with plenty of dry logs and set up a campfire the way Rost had taught her, quickly pulling a sparker out of her resource pack and igniting it, tossing it in the middle of the pile to light up the whole thing.
Aloy loved campfires. They reminded her of respite, of checkpoints in her travels. They made her feel like she could breathe in a way that even being in the base couldn’t quite match.
Erend finished setting up the tent and came to sit beside her in front of the fire, and she enjoyed the comforting silence for a moment, before Erend couldn’t take it anymore and jumped into a story about Stemmur having to physically pull Abadund away from the ledge of the roof in Hidden Ember when he had gotten distracted by one of the ornaments.
It was a funny story, and Aloy found herself laughing, fully settling into the night and her experience. She pulled out some boar meat she had hunted earlier that day and Erend grabbed it from her hands before she even had the chance to attempt cooking it.
It was fair play. She knew she could cook well enough, but it wasn’t where her talents lay. Erend had been cooking for her whenever they went out together ever since the first time they camped, and she had gotten distracted by her focus for long enough to let the meat burn.
“We’re safe here, yeah?” Erend asked, jolting her out of her revery as he pulled the meat off the fire.
She pulled up her focus and glanced around, scanning for either machines or hostile humans. All she could see were the overridden Chargers to her left. “Yeah, it’s all clear. And with our back to the cliff, we shouldn’t have to deal with any surprises.”
He grunted in affirmation before undoing the straps of his armor and sliding it off his shoulders, leaving him in just his striped shirt and britches. He stretched his arms out behind him, cracking the joint of one of his shoulders. “Much better.”
Aloy just looked at him from the side of her eyes, a fond smile barely grazing her lips. He handed her a portion of the food and she ate, complimenting his cooking and accepting his playful teasing in return.
It was nice. It was steady. It was peaceful.
The peace lasted even as they put out the fire, a chillwater packet pulled from Aloy’s resource pack making smooth work of it, and retired to their tent. It was old hat by now, Aloy removing her outer layer of harder armor and sleeping in just her Nora silks, Erend pulling off his shirt and shoes and stretching out just like that.
He was laying down, taking up most of the bedroll, just by nature of his size, but careful not to take all of it. It was just another one of those small things he always did. Offering himself for her to lay with or to lay next to. Giving her space but not closing himself off.
It seemed so easy for him, so instinctual, to leave her room to make whatever decision was comfortable for her in the moment.
She sat there, and looked down at him, his eyes closed and his face peaceful, wondering if he would have ever pushed her for more. If she hadn’t kissed him, would he have ever made that move? If she hadn’t invited him into her bunk, would he have invited her? If she hadn’t taken his hand and given him a sign that she wanted more than just physical closeness, how long would he have ignored his own feelings just to allow her to avoid her own?
She suddenly felt a wad in her throat. She watched him breathe, easy and calm in the knowledge that she was with him and thought of his face when they had first run into each other in the Daunt. She thought of how hurt she had made him by not saying goodbye after the battle of the spire. She thought back to earlier than that. To him saying he was lucky to get a minute of her time.
She had joked at the time. Offered him maybe even two.
He was so good to her, accommodating and easy-going. But she knew he felt more. She knew he wanted more. And even tonight, he felt uncomfortable asking her to camp out rather than continue on to the village.
He had never seen himself as worthy of being accomodated. Aloy wasn’t quite sure how she hadn’t made the connection. She knew he had an inferiority complex. She knew he had low self-esteem. That he felt he wasn’t helpful. But until now she had never pieced together just how that affected their relationship.
Erend opened one eye and looked up at her, his peaceful face morphing into one of concern. “Aloy? Is there something wrong?” He sat up, his hand moving to where he had left his armor. “Did your focus pick something up?”
She shook her head. She wasn’t entirely sure what to tell him. How to address this. How to fix it. She wasn’t good with words, never had been. The only person who ever talked to her when she was young was Rost, and it wasn’t like he was the most emotionally articulate man in the Sacred Lands.
Ask her to go outside in just what she has on now and fight a Frostclaw, sure, she’d take up the challenge. Open herself up emotionally to the man who she was… something with?
She could see Erend’s hand lift up an inch before he dropped it back to the ground. This was exactly what Aloy wanted to stop. She wanted Erend to feel comfortable making decisions about this relationship. She wanted him to know that he could, that he was an equal partner.
She had to be honest. She had to let him know that this was real. That she was here with him entirely.
She closed her eyes tightly for a moment, steeling herself for battle. She gave herself two seconds, and then plunged ahead. Act first, think second, let her momentum carry her forward. Just like a brave trail, if you let yourself second guess your handholds or path, you’ll fall.
Opening her eyes, she reached out and grabbed the hand Erend had almost moved. She held it in both of hers and forced herself to make eye contact with the man in front of her.
“I trust you.”
Erend looked at her, confused. “I know.”
She bit her cheek. “No, I mean… You don’t have to…” She had absolutely no idea what she was saying, but part of her figured she should just get it out and then try to polish it up afterward. “You don’t have to stop yourself around me. I’m not going to run away, and it’s not like you could beat me in a fight if it came to that anyway.”
He raised one eyebrow, seemingly amused, which just frustrated her. Couldn’t he see this was serious?
“I mean it. You don’t have to hold yourself back. You know, you can ask for things you want from me. You’re… I’m….” she groaned, now frustrated with herself. “We’re, you know, something. Together. And so, we can both be together equally.”
Erend shook his head. “I’m trying to follow you Aloy, but I think you need to fill in the blanks here for me a bit.”
She moved his hand up and placed it against her cheek, leaning into it so his palm was cradling her head. “I’m saying that I’m here. I’m giving you more than just two minutes of my time Erend. I’m giving you as much of my time as you want, and I’m telling you that you’re allowed to ask for more.”
He lifted his other hand on his own, resting it on the other side of her face. His eyes betrayed a seriousness that was rare from him. And yet, just like it always was when he looked at her, it was colored by a deeper emotion. One she was really starting to understand.
“You’re saying that you want me to ask you for things.”
She tried to nod, but his hands were preventing it from really happening, so she responded aloud. “Yes. I want you to ask for what you want from me. You know,” she hesitated again, “for relationship things.”
He grinned, wide and free. “Relationship things?” She rolled her eyes, recognizing the teasing for what it was. “So, you’re saying that you want me to ask you to lay down and let me hold you?”
Her gut swooped again at the phrase. She had rested in his arms before but had never quite thought about it in those terms. She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry, and let out a quiet, “yes.”
He released her face. “Alright. Come on then.” And he laid down once again, this time not restricting himself to just his portion of the bedroll. He held his arms open for her and she accepted the invitation, curling up into him and resting her head on his chest. He sputtered, having to move one of his hands from her arm to get some of her hair out of his mouth, and she smiled.
They fell asleep like that, wrapped up in each other, and woke up the next morning the same way.
Aloy woke up before Erend, as was usual, and found herself unwilling to pull herself away from him to start her day. Instead, she lay there, head still on his shoulder, fingertips lightly tracing the lines of his tattoos.
There was a newer one decorating his side. Fully healed, but brighter than the others, not yet baked under the desert heat. It was a different style than the rest, and Aloy smiled as she finally got a chance to really look at it and realized it was Tanakth. She knew Erend and Kotallo had talked about tattooing each other to commemorate the battle, but she hadn’t known they had gone through with it. It made her feel a strange sort of happiness to know that her teammates liked each other outside of the battle and outside of their relationship to her.
Eventually, the gentle press of her fingertips against his skin woke him up. He had never been a morning person and waking up for him always involved quite a bit of grunting and complaining.
It used to annoy Aloy, who had always woken easily with the sun, but fortunately, she had found ways to minimize the complaints and she utilized them now as she leaned up and pressed her lips to his.
He smiled into the kiss, and then groaned in a much less annoyed way as it progressed.
After a leisurely wake-up, and a much more fastidious dressing, they worked together to pack up camp.
They had to climb back up to reach Barren Light, and Erend was already making his displeasure at that fact known, suggesting with some very colorful language that they should have an elevator to make the journey easier.
In Aloy’s opinion it was a fair point, and she made sure to tell him so, even if she didn’t really mind the climb.
Between the two of them, they made short work of packing up, and only slightly longer work of climbing. They were able to slip through Barren Light without being too delayed, although after letting the guard know where they were headed, they were burdened with some messages meant for Meridian. Aloy happily handed them all to Erend, who’s actual job (from which he had taken a temporary leave of absence but had not quit entirely) it was to carry them.
Chainscrape delayed them a bit longer, Petra refusing to let them leave without an ale, on her, and a story, on them. Erend happily picked up the brunt of that, relaying their fight against Asera and her men with his usual aplomb. Aloy mostly relaxed and watched him regale the table with their exploits, simply nodding along or rolling her eyes at his exaggerations.
At one-point Erend rested his hand on Aloy’s knee and she found herself grinning down at it. She was thrilled that he was being more instigative in their moments, just like she told him he should be. It helped that as it was under the table, it was out of the sight of everyone else. Well, almost everyone, anyway.
Petra leaned back over her chair, making eye contact with Aloy. She waggled her eyebrows and flicked her gaze between the two of them. Aloy waited to feel uncomfortable with her friend seeing the truth of the situation, but when the discomfort didn’t come, she simply nodded, smiling. She gestured to the forgewoman to keep the information quiet and received a silent acceptance in return.
She didn’t believe that for one moment. The news would be all over the Daunt if not further by the time they crossed back into the main stretch of Carja lands, of that Aloy was sure.
By the time Erend had finished his story, Petra and the other Oseram had drunk enough ale to let them go with little more than a needling to return soon.
They slipped away and made it up the lift and out of the daunt by nightfall, avoiding anyone who might have any more favors to ask of Aloy. She felt a little bad about that, as she preferred to offer her assistance even before she was asked, but Erend kept her path straight and her focus forward.
If nothing else, it would make the journey a bit less circuitous, not having to head every which way to fight a machine or clear an area.
They camped at the front of the Daunt, slipping through their nightly routine and into each other’s arms casually, and by the next morning, they were more than prepared to finish their journey to Meridian.
Aloy ran out and brought back a couple of Chargers, and Erend fixed his gaze on her. “Last chance to back out, we can still send someone else, take a vacation.”
Aloy just laughed and mounted her machine, waiting until Erend was firmly planted on his own before heading off.
They rode in a peaceful silence for a while, knowing that they had a couple more days between them and their destination, and camped at night enjoying each other’s company.
It wasn’t until their last day of riding that Aloy realized she had forgotten something.
Specifically, she had completely forgotten that something had happened. That something was most likely waiting for her back in Meridian, and that it was something she should probably warn Erend about.
She pulled her Charger off the path, trusting Erend to notice and follow her, which he did immediately, calling out in concern.
She waved a hand at him, letting him know everything was fine, and pulled her mount to a restful stop before hopping down.
“No, nothing’s wrong. I just need to talk to you for a second.”
He dropped down as well, a tad less gracefully than she had. “What’s up, Aloy?”
She leaned her head to one side, then the other, trying to figure out the best way to get this information across as factually and clearly as she could.
“It’s just, something is about to become… relevant. And I want you to know I didn’t hide this from you, it’s just that I kinda… forgot until now.”
Erend leaned back against the Charger, all nervous energy gone, the picture of casual conversation.
“This is about Avad.”
Her eyes flicked up to meet his. “You know?”
He laughed, a big belly laugh that startled the Charger out from under him and he straightened up. “Aloy, I was Captain of the Vanguard. I had meetings with Avad. I spent time at the palace. A blind man could see he had feelings for you.”
Aloy was suddenly uncomfortable for a whole different reason.
“You know,” Erend continued, “the Carja consider him to be sunlight himself, and I for one never believed it until I saw him looking at you. The man glowed around you.” Aloy fidgeted, one hand almost instinctively moving to rest on her quiver, fingers brushing against the arrows’ feathers. “I’m more surprised you noticed. You don’t exactly have a history of being able to tell about these things.”
Aloy straightened, hearing the challenge for what it was. “What do you mean? I’m not that unaware, Erend.”
He just raised his arms in a sarcastic shrug. “Right. That’s why you warned me before we got to Avad, but not before we spent time with Petra.”
“Petra?” The question was out before she could stop it.
“Hah.” He said, pointing at her. “Told you. And she’s not even subtle about it.”
She threw her hands up in the air before letting them fall. “Fine, so I’m not always great at recognizing feelings. But even I could tell Avad was interested, I mean, he practically…” She trailed off, watching the shift in Erend’s posture. It was subtle, but he leaned toward her, stiffened up a bit. This was what she really had to tell him, and all of a sudden, her nerves were back.
“What, Aloy?” his voice was gruff, and he took a step closer to her. “He practically what?”
She held her ground even as he took another step closer to her. “He practically proposed.”
That stopped Erend in his tracks. “Marriage? He proposed marriage? To you?”
She screwed up her face. “What’s that supposed to mean? I’m… marry-able.” This was turning into nonsense and to be honest, at this point Aloy wasn’t even sure what point she wanted to be arguing.
He let out a dry laugh that seemed weighed down by emotion. His voice was gruff again. “Trust me, I am more than aware of that fact.” He started moving toward her again. “But what you are not, Aloy, is someone who would ever be happy sitting on a throne.” He stepped again. “You would go crazy in less than a week of not being able to wander out in the wilds on your own.” Another step, and if they both reached out, their fingertips would brush. “You would absolutely hate people bowing to you.”
He moved forward again, close enough to no longer be in arrow range. “Being dressed in those fancy clothes that offer no protection.” His voice was deepening, and Aloy found her every inch anticipating his next words, his next step. “In meetings all day, feasts and parties in your honor all night.” He was right in front of her, but his arms were still down by his side, and in spite of her every instinct telling her to reach out and grab him, she refused to be the one to make the first move.
His voice was practically a whisper now, practically a growl. “And you would hate being taken to bed by that human sunlight, Aloy. Too gentle, too forgiving.”
Her voice was no louder than his. “Sunlight can burn.”
He shook his head. “You need something stronger. Sunlight burns take too long, they force you to be still for too long. You need molten metal. You need sparks.” His hands grabbed her hips, fingers digging so hard she could feel their points through her armor. “You need something sturdier than light beams, Aloy. And you and I both know that.”
She leaned her head up, facing him and looking into his eyes, gaze flittering between the two. Still, she made no move to push upward, refusing to give him the satisfaction of breaking first.
“If you are so sure, then why do you sound so jealous?”
He growled back at her, “Damnit Aloy.” And broke the stalemate, kissing her quickly and fiercely.
He pulled back too soon, but Aloy caught herself before she could reflexively follow him.
“Well,” he said, his tone too calm and clear considering what had just passed between them. “Best get moving, don’t want to keep your fiancé waiting.”
Her shoulders dropped. “I didn’t say yes!”
He laughed and climbed back on his Charger, riding off before her and knowing she would follow. She grinned at his back, at his sign of trust. She had absolutely no idea of what would happen when faced with Avad again, but she knew that she and Erend could figure it out.
Sunlight had nothing on the two of them.