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How many times has he hoped that this was all just a nightmare?
He just hopes that once he wakes up, he would see the beautiful moon that he adored no longer drenched in crimson. He just hopes that familiar moonlight would radiate the entire night just like it used to be. He just hopes its warm light becomes the lantern within his heart, guiding him toward the right path, away from solitude.
He just hopes that once he sees the moon after waking up, its beauty would remind him of his roots as a defender of humanity. That his world is still worth dying for. Because his world is the only place he would call it home. He has nowhere to go. Nowhere to escape.
He just hopes that once he wakes up, he will see all his comrades smiling at him.
The cheerful girl with cat ears who always offered her support from the sidelines. The one who shared the same hometown as him would nod at him in understanding. The little innocent girl that gifted him with her unusual painting. And the green-haired female scientist would be in her lab, waiting for him despite their different ethics and morality.
He just hopes that once he wakes up, he will see all his comrades still there beside him.
The one who has those horns as his crown, silently rooting for him. The one who shed her blade faster than the light, freezing time and space. The masked man who burned himself into the blaze of rage, always craving for eternal war. The most beautiful diva blessed their era with her golden voice. The holy lady who keeps all the sins to herself. And the certain elven-eared girl will silently smile at him, tapping his shoulder gently, cheering him.
He just hopes that once he wakes up…
Azure. Blue. Sea. The sky.
His mind felt warped and twisted as his deepest wish suddenly manifested. He wanted to see that brilliant azure once again. The one whose eyes color is deeper than the sea and bluer than the sky itself. He just hopes that the one who bore those aquamarine gem eyes would call his name gently, with his warm and deep voice, making him open his own fuchsia eyes, just for him.
Alas, all of it had never happened.
All of his wishes were merely a dream. And once he wakes up, he would hopelessly see them crumble before his eyes, shattered by harsh reality.
And thus, he opened his eyes.
Crimson moon.
Bodies fell. One by one. Until there is nothing left. The time seemed to stop for a moment. Sink in infinite silences.
His heart is pierced with the painful truth. The moon still stays crimson, painted with all the bloodshed that belonged to all of his dead comrades. He could only stand there, all alone with a painful stare as the one he loved slowly descended into the dead wasteland that was once called the earth. It's no longer their beautiful home after it's been wrecked by him.
Him.
The one whose eyes were deep as the sea yet so cold as the piercing glacier.
"Kevin…"
The Kaslana just silently stared at his best friend as the harsh wind stabbed both of their presence, creating a cold sensation that couldn't rival his body temperature. His Judgement of Shamash was already drenched with all the blood from their dead comrades. He lifted his hand, wondering how many more sins he could take with his hand as he always ended up killing the humanity that he vowed to protect with his own life.
No matter what he did, he would always end up killing the people that were precious to him.
No matter what he did…
It will always end up the same anyway.
"SU."
His voice was so bone-chilling, so cold. Like a knife stabbing his soul. Those aquamarine eyes were no longer gentle and warm as they used to be. SU could feel the invisible distance between them, painted with hesitation, disappointment, regret, and sadness. Kevin's footsteps echoed within him as he slowly approached him, making him feel the fear that he shouldn't feel when he is around the white-haired male. Because Kevin is the very person that is capable of bringing so much joy to him.
They shouldn't feel that distance.
His trust in Kevin is unconditional and unreserved. Without the Kaslana having to explain his action, SU would always be the one to understand him.
But now…
For the first time in his life, he felt fear and hesitation toward Kevin. He couldn't find that unconditional trust anymore. He couldn't recognize his best friend.
The man standing before him…
He couldn't see the light within him. No more hope. No more salvation. Nothing but darkness.
… and destruction.
"Why." Muttered SU silently. He couldn't find his voice. He couldn't find the courage to ask numerous questions that had been invading his mind like poison. And somehow, Kevin could hear him without needing him to speak.
He can see the tears in those fuchsia eyes, silently lamenting for all their dead comrades. Or maybe, it's actually him. SU was actually grieving for him.
He was grieving for the loss of Kevin Kaslana whom he used to know. His very best friend whom he used to cherish and love.
What remains of Kevin now is merely an emptiness. The broken shell for Honkai to inhabit. All of those failures, burdens, and sins were enough to make him realize that all of his efforts to save the world were fruitless all along.
This is the war they couldn't win no matter what they did.
No matter how many lives they had sacrificed to God.
No matter how much blood and tears they had been shed until there was nothing left to offer.
Failure.
There will only be a failure.
God will keep bestowing them with failure.
How ironic that he ended up becoming the very Herrscher he despised the most. The strongest defender of humanity, the light of hope, and salvation that humanity needed the most. The only dependable leader who vowed to bring victory over this war...
… now become the very slave of the Will of Honkai itself.
He lifted his finger to cover half of his Herrscher eyes, silently chuckling. His laugh sounded so sinister. But deep down, it holds so much pain, rage, and sorrow as the sky slowly cries with him, screaming its thunder in agony.
As the drop of rain-drenched his tired presence, his azure eyes slowly returned to SU. His cold lip formed a very thin smile.
A smile of weariness.
"Maybe, this is the only way to truly save humanity, SU..."
"... By putting them all to rest."
SU bit his bottom lip as he finally closed his eyes. He couldn't deny that truth. The moment they live in this world, they have been fated to lose to the Honkai. All of them will end up dead anyway. Either by the hand of Honkai itself or be destroyed under humanity's greed and selfishness.
And Kevin finally chose to do it himself.
Once again, he chose to carry all of those sins with him, he chose to kill all of his friends, his comrades, and his loved ones, and burn the whole of humanity with the eternal flame from his blade.
He who was once a savior… now has been turned completely into a sinner, just like the fallen angel who fell from heaven and succumbed to the path of the Devil.
And SU understands that. He won't blame Kevin for the downfall of humanity. Because this very humanity is the one who turned their savior to become their grim reaper.
Now, the fallen angel who had lost half of his wings desperately carried the last effort to bring salvation in the form of last judgment.
"Among all of us, you are the one that needs to rest the most, Kevin."
SU finally spoke after the long silence that drowned both of them. He can see how tired Kevin was with all the blood that painted his presence. He lifted his hand as if he wanted to reach the male Herrscher's face.
"You were so tired, weren't you? Please, you can stop now. You can rest here with me."
The man shook his head as he knew he couldn't even die even if he wanted to.
"I still have to carry out my last mission… to send you to a better place just like the others." Said Kevin as he stared at SU with the deepest regret within those azure eyes. And right in that exact moment, as if his vision wanted to trick him, SU suddenly sees Kevin's past self as the male Herrscher formed an apologetic smile at him. Those azure eyes looked softened for a second, bringing a state of peace within the frozen time.
Kevin is still there.
SU finally understood that his best friend has always been there in front of him as he never truly left despite becoming the Apostle of Honkai.
Kevin has never changed.
However, they couldn't go back to the past, back to those days full of bliss and happiness. Those peaceful days are long gone along with all humanity, leaving both of them left in this world. And SU was already prepared for his life to be taken by his best friend.
It's just… There is only one regret within him.
And it's not because they've failed to become the hero.
"I'm not afraid of death. I'm just…"
" … worried about leaving you alone, Kevin."
Those azure eyes widened as he didn't realize that frozen tears had already fallen from his eyes. SU gently shed it away as he finally held Kevin's face with grief. After all this time, they have always been together and inseparable.
For SU, the thought of leaving Kevin alone in solitude, watching him tormented with all of his burdens and sins is more painful than death.
However, this is just the fate of Deliverance. SU knew Kevin already made his decision when he began to wrap his cold arms around him. He knew that Kevin is ready to carry all of those burdens and sins for the rest of his life, alone and forever. He knew Kevin already accepted the fact that he will never be reunited with all of his comrades after the end of his existence.
He has accepted that cruel verdict of his destiny.
As long as he can send all of his friends to a better place such as heaven...
He doesn't mind becoming Lucifer and succumbing to the eternal hell for eternity.
"I'm sorry… SU."
SU finally closes his eyes as Kevin embraces him gently. The male Herrscher blessed him with the most peaceful death he could offer to him. As SU's vision gradually darkened, the tears slowly dripped out from his fuchsia eyes as Kevin suddenly smiled at him for the last time.
He granted SU with his warmest gaze just like in their high school days before the gray-haired male's heart stopped beating completely.
The Kaslana finally looks up, seeing the crimson moon that has already become the grave of the other flame chasers, whereas the earth will solely become the final resting place for his dear friend.
As the Morning Star began to mourn for the passing of his other soul, he finally closed his azure eyes with the tiniest hope within his heart. Longing the chance for reunion.
Even if it's impossible to happen...
"Maybe someday, we can finally meet again, SU."