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All morning, the Gryffindor table had been casting glances at Sirius and Remus while snickering behind goblets and hands. Neither of them had any idea what was happening.
“Why’s everyone laughing, Prongs?” Sirius asked after ten minutes of confusion.
“Give it a second and you’ll see why.”
Sirius glared at the unhelpful words.
Music started in the Great Hall without warning. Sirius’s brows furrowed. Why was music playing?
“Everybody's talking about it. Everybody knows that it's true. Sirius, you're in love with Remus. Remus is into you too,” a melodious voice sang.
Sirius flushed deeply, and he couldn’t help but look at Remus. The boy was covering his face with his hands and looked like he would rather go swimming with the Giant Squid than be there.
“You're making eyes across the Great Hall, you're hoping no one will see. You're writing love notes with paw prints, you're making out behind me. You know we really love you, it ain't our place to judge you. You're feeling scared about it, naturally.”
Sirius groaned and slammed his head down on the table. His friends laughed.
“You’re in on this!” Remus exclaimed, words muffled by his hands that were still covering his face.
“Duh,” they all said, smirking.
“I’ll get you back. I’ll get every last one of you back,” Sirius threatened, though the threatening tone was destroyed by the miserable look on his face.
The song continued to play (it even repeated twice, much to Sirius and Remus’s mortification) and Sirius wanted to go crawl into his bed at the Potter’s by the end of it. He just wanted to be anywhere but there.
“Why are people so invested in us?” Sirius grumbled miserably once the song had finally stopped playing.
“You’re Hogwarts’s OTP,” said a random Hufflepuff that was passing by the Gryffindor table with a group of students from all houses.
“What?” Sirius’s face morphed into distress and the group walked away, giggling madly. “They’re not serious, are they?”
“Of course not.” Sirius sighed in relief. “You’re Sirius.”
Sirius’s head made a rather large thud as it hit the table.