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it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep yourself together.
small things piled up. you didn’t wake up in time to shower, so you weren’t able to eat breakfast, so you couldn’t see the brothers until after classes. the food at the dining hall wasn’t very human-friendly, so you had to eat a granola bar you packed. you’ve had a lot of work to do, so you haven’t had time to relax.
to top it all off, it’s Friday and the brothers all have an R.A.D. meeting. something you never go to, but you didn’t need to be alone tonight.
you curl up in your bed, staring at the wall. you aren’t sure what in the kitchen belongs to who, and you don’t want to potentially cause an argument. that’s the last thing you need right now.
you turn on the TV, and just allow something to play as your D.D.D. charges.
—-
Mammon tries to call you with no answer. he’s not surprised, it sometimes happens. but when he tries again two minutes later, there’s still no response.
that’s when he begins to worry.
message after message, desperately trying to check up on you in the fifteen minute break they had.
with five minutes left, he accepts defeat.
‘oi, Lucifer.’ he says, walking over to the oldest brother. he’s talking with someone else, but he dismisses them.
‘i hope that this is something important.’
Lucifer already knows it has to be for Mammon to come up and ask his advice, but he can’t help saying it anyway.
‘yeah, it’s about MC.’ he can feel Lucifer’s gaze harden on him. ‘they seemed to have been feeling down all week, and i know they were upset when we couldn’t stick around tonight. but i just tried calling them and they didn’t answer.’
‘that’s odd. did you try more than once?’
‘yep.’ Mammon shows Lucifer his call history, and Lucifer stiffens further, which Mammon didn’t think was possible.
after attempting to call you himself with no response, and a quick chat with Diavolo, Lucifer settles on calling someone else.
—-
you’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting there. your D.D.D. kept going off, but you couldn’t find it in you to care, and especially not to move.
it’s not fair to think like this, but if they really cared they wouldn’t have left. they had to go, but you wish one of them had stayed, or even asked how you were before they left.
everything *hurts*. you just want to go to sleep, but even that seems too exhausting. the tv is still running.
—-
you’re unsure of how much time has passed when there’s a knock on your door. are they already home?
you don’t respond, hoping that they think you’re asleep. you aren’t in the mood to be told off about taking care of yourself.
the door opens anyway, which shocks you.
‘hello?’ that’s not one of the brothers.
carefully, you move just enough to see who’s there.
‘Barbatos?’ why is he here?
‘the brothers were worried about you, and the Young Lord is busy with R.A.D. as well. so, i’m here to check on you.’
your D.D.D. *was* buzzing for a while. perhaps it was selfish and stupid of you to not check it, and then go on to blame the brothers for leaving you alone.
you always end up doing this, don’t you? making everything about yourself, expecting others to be mad at you. to be fair, they usually end up leaving you anyway.
but it doesn’t feel that way with them. they would have been here if they could have been, but they were busy. that’s not their fault.
now you feel like shit because of that.
you were doing so good too.
you move back into your original position, curling in on yourself. the bedspread is getting wet, sticking to your face.
Barbatos walks over to you, kneeling down in front of you. you look at him, and he smiles slightly.
‘can i touch your shoulder?’ you nod, and he places his hand there. he softly rubs over the fabric, and you try to regulate your breathing.
after a few minutes, he gets up and sits on the bed, carefully helping you into a sitting position. he puts his arms around you, holding you up against him.
you continue to sniff, grateful for the warmth his body is providing. you can’t even find it in you to sob right now.
you rest your head against his shoulder, and he adjusts slightly. his shoes come off, and he moves the two of you so his back is against the wall, and you’re completely against his chest.
your head feels so fuzzy, but it’s not panic inducing. he’s safe, you’ll be fine.
your eyes shut, completely drained.
—-
Barbatos sighs as he feels your breathing level out, moving only enough to see if you’re truly asleep. once he determines you are, he takes a very awkward selfie and sends it to Lucifer.
he sends back a message rather quickly, just a sticker that says ‘thank you’, but it makes Barbatos smile.
he makes sure your head is secure on his shoulder before beginning to rub your hair. he puts the tv on mute, but leaves it on, and begins to scroll through his D.D.D.
—-
you’re not sure how long it is before you wake up.
you’re pressed against someone, you can only assume Mammon, who sometimes sneaks in when he has nightmares. but, you’re sitting up.
when your eyes open fully, you’re able to see green and black hair, tickling your nose slightly.
you turn to face him, pushing away. he just smiles at you.
‘sorry.’ you say, rubbing your face.
‘for what?’ he looks surprised, and you just stare back at him.
‘for falling asleep on you, for making you come here, for—‘ he puts his finger to his lips, smiling.
‘you didn’t make me do anything, i came here of my own accord. the Young Lord approved of Lucifer asking me to come over, and i did. the brothers have been very worried about you, i heard so myself from Lord Diavolo.’
‘what?’
‘they’ve said that you’ve been acting strange all week, but they didn’t want to potentially make it worse. then, when today rolled around, they had to go to the meeting, which Lord Diavolo had to remind them of.’
you move off of him, crossing your legs and picking at your fingers.
‘oh.’ that’s all you can say.
Barbatos grabs one of your hands, preventing you from hurting yourself on accident.
‘are you hungry? the brothers said you haven’t eaten a lot.’ you nod a little.
‘the menu isn’t really suited for a human.’ Barbatos hums, and moves to the edge of the bed, putting his shoes back on.
‘i’m sure i can find something for you to eat.’
pathetically, you nod, and hold out your hand so he can help you get up. he doesn’t make you feel foolish for doing so, instead simply doing what it was clear you wanted him to do.
when you get downstairs, you realize why you also didn’t find something to eat earlier.
‘the brothers get really possessive over their food sometimes, so i didn’t think i could find anything.’ Barbatos nods, looking around.
‘we’ll just leave it where it is if it has a name on it, is opened already, or looks expensive. anything else can either be replaced, or perhaps the Young Master will convince the brothers there are better things to be worried about.’
you smile a little, watching as he puts together a relatively small meal, but it’s still something,
‘as soon as you’re done eating your dinner, you can have this.’ he pulls out a small paper bag, placing it on the counter, before setting a bowl of rice in front of you.
‘so, you’re trying to goad me into eating like a child?’
‘is it working?’ you do love Barbatos’s sweets…. you pick up the fork and he chuckles. ‘don’t feel like you have to eat all of it, i want you fed, not miserable.’ you nod, stomaching as much of the rice as you can.
it’s incredibly difficult to eat, given how much you simply haven’t in the last few days. after about half the bowl you put it down, unsure of if it would be considered enough by Barbatos.
he smiles at you and gives you the bag, knowing he would have given it to you no matter how much you ate. you just seemed like you needed to be rewarded, no matter how small the task.
when you open the bag, you see a cookie resting at the bottom of it. it’s decorated like a tiny pink sheep, a bell around its collar.
as you thank him, you begin to cry again.
‘what’s the matter?’ Barbatos asks, walking around to comfort you. you leave the cookie in the bag and hold onto the top for dear life.
‘why're you so nice to me?’ you wipe your eyes. ‘the brothers have to, Diavolo has to. but you go out of your way to be nice. why?’
he can see how desperately you’re shaking. he wants you to sit down, but doesn’t believe he’d be able to convince you to do so in the kitchen.
‘do you want to go back to your room?’ you nod. ‘may i accompany you?’ you nod again, sniffing.
when you get back, you put the bag with the cookie in it on your desk, and immediately fall into the bed.
‘my question hasn’t changed.’ you say, knowing he hoped a change of scenery would do you some good. ‘why’re you so nice to me when you don’t have to be?’
he smiles and sits down in front of you on the floor.
‘i’m not just Lord Diavolo’s butler you know. i can make decisions for myself.’ he tries to joke, but you don’t seem to pay it any mind other than what he can only assume is a pity smile.
‘you know that’s not what i meant.’
‘i know.’ he sighs, moving so his back is facing you. ‘i just think you’re really admirable. despite doing everything you can to help others, you’ve never lost yourself. you’re still who you were when you got down here, and i respect you for it. but even the toughest people need to spend time calming down sometimes, maybe even especially the toughest.’
teary-eyed, you grab onto his shoulders, weakly trying to force him onto your bed again. he quickly takes you into his arms, letting you sob.
—-
when Lucifer and Mammon check on you after returning, they’re surprised to find what they did.
needless to say, Diavolo got a picture of you curled against Barbatos’s chest, the both of you asleep. it was tagged asking if Barbatos could have some time off, just until the two of you wake up.
Diavolo would never get in the way of something like that, especially between two as important to him as you are.