Chapter Text
Newt.
I feel like drowning every time I close my eyes
To see yours above my head
Hanging in the air like an accusing wraith
A regular nightmare would be a relief, but memories are all I have left
They wonder why I refuse to go to sleep, they will never know
That my bed feels like a cell and sleep is my trial
I am so sick of watching you die again every night
Tonight as we were fighting, our bodies sank into the ocean
Which took a shade of red as soon as my finger pulled the trigger
As that bloody water filled my lungs I couldn’t close my eyes
And I watched you choke to death, like every other night
My heart, beating so loud, matching your racing pulse
Your fingers on mine, it’s all I can feel
Your mouth is moving but I can’t hear a word
Although we’re trapped underwater, I know we are both crying
As usual I woke up screaming
Clutching the sheets in shaking hands
But the only sound ringing in my ears
Was your voice telling me I deserved to die.
I have spent countless nights sitting in darkness
With my arms around my knees
With tears drying on my cheeks
And the echo of a gunshot stuck in my head
Painful reminder of an empty promise
“If you’ve ever been my friend…”
Fulfilled at last but sour
“Do it before I become one of them!”
And sounding so hollow it hurts
“KILL ME!”