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Kill her. Rip her throat out. Pain the walls with her blood.
I ignored that impulse and focused on the lesson. Violin practice required more practice than most of my other studies. That made it easy to lose mys-
Extinguish her life.
The inversion impulses were focused on the teacher. She was, after all, the closest person, and the inversion impulse isn’t choosy. It just wants me to run rampant. Hurt people. Cause damage. Wreck havoc. But I won’t. I’m stronger than it.
The lesson ended. I bowed to the teacher, then packed my instrument and left. I was one of the rare few who did not live on campus, so the school grounds were lively even when as the sun began to set.
Kill them.
Dozens of girls my age mulled around, lost in socialization or studying or practice. I never talked to any of them outside of class, and most I only knew in passing as others in my class.
Kill them.
The campus of Asagami Private Girls Academy is large, and as I walked across it, it felt infinite. The impulses kept crying out and it was impossible to ignore it. The number of people around, not just in the courtyard but in the dorms and classrooms, only made it worse.
Kill them all.
My driver was already waiting outside, and from there, it was a several hour drive until I was home.
Kill the driver. Break every window. Slam the car into the nearest vehicle. Kill everyone on the road.
These impulses are harder to ignore when I have nothing to distract me, but I’m better than that. I can endure them. I have endured them for so long, and that will not stop anytime soon. Despite how loud and how strong that impulse can be, it will never overpower me.
When I finally arrived home, it was late in the day. My brother would likely be in his room and Hisui would be busy with her maidly duties. Kohaku, however, was waiting for me right by the door. She bowed to me and I-
I want to kiss her.
Another annoying impulse. They were growing more irritating. Kohaku must have seen it on my face, because she bowed. “Lady Akiha, is your inversion impulse acting up? Does it need to be sated?” I nodded. It was becoming unbearable.
Crush her head. Tear her apart.
As we sat in the abandoned building some ways from the mansion, the impulses were only growing stronger.
I want to kiss her. I want to embrace her. I want to feel her against me.
I shook my head to clear those thoughts away. Kohaku slid her robe down and bared her skin for me. I grabbed her arm to keep her steady, then leaned forward and-
She’s so soft. I want to hold her. I want to hug her. I want to sleep beside her and feel her warmth and relish her companionship and-
I shook my head again. I didn’t want to hesitate any longer. This was becoming unbearable. I bit into her neck. Deeper. Drink every last drop. My nails dug into her skin as I braced myself, putting everything I could into restraint as I began to drink the blood coming out of her puncture wounds. I had chosen her neck tonight, but- Her breasts. Temptation has suggested otherwise. I heard her whine in pain. I realized that I had taken myself too far, and eased myself. I could feel her blood running down her arms. Lick it up.
I-
I lapped up the blood around the wounds on her neck, then moved down to her arm. Even when I was done, blood was smeared across her body.
“Sorry…”
“Lady Akiha, it’s fine. I can bathe and clean myself when we get back to the mansion.”
I want to bathe with her.
I frowned. Those impulses were supposed to have cleared up. No matter. It was just lingering thoughts that would clear up.
We walked back to the mansion under the moonlight. It was a full moon, so the path was illuminated, and in that shimmering light, I felt myself stop, only for a moment. Kohaku turned around and looked at me. “Lady Akiha? Is something wrong?”
I shook my head. “No. I’m fine.” I was silent the rest of the way back. Once we had arrived at the mansion, Kohaku bowed and left. I returned to my room, with the plan to study for the rest of the night. However, I couldn’t focus on my work, as my thoughts kept returning to Kohaku. No matter what I tried, those unwanted impulses wouldn’t go away, I want to kiss her so instead, I stepped out onto the balcony and began practicing my violin.
That didn’t take either.
Instead, I sat on the balcony, appreciating the cool evening air and the pale white moonline. Kohaku is so cute. Those impulses never went away.
I heard a knock at my door. When I opened it, I was surprised to see Kohaku on the other side, as usually by now she would either be finishing her evening tasks or resting for the night.
“Lady Akiha, you seemed unwell earlier.”
Her hair was still slightly damp, making it evident that she had only just finished bathing. It shimmered only so slightly in the hallway’s candlelight.
“Lady Akiha? Are you okay?”
I blinked. I must have lost my focus for a moment. “I’m fine, Kohaku. Why do you ask?”
“It seemed like you weren’t doing well earlier, so I wanted to make sure you’re okay. Are you?”
“I-” I started to speak, and then closed my mouth. I want to spend the night with her. “Kohaku, would you-” I turned away. I could feel a blush beginning to creep across my face. “The inversion impulses haven’t grown any weaker. Would you-” I want her to stay the night. “Can you stay the night with me tonight? I’m concerned.”
She stared at me for a few moments, and then for some reason, she giggled. “Of course, Lady Akiha. Right away?”
“No, it’s still early. You can go back to your room, and I’ll-” I want to kiss her. “Call for you when I’m retiring for the night.”
Kohaku bowed and left. I closed the door behind her, then collapsed to the floor. I let out a sigh, then stared up at the doorknob. I should open it again and call out to her. I thought about opening the door again and calling out to Kohaku, asking her to come back. I lay there, practically paralyzed, and by the time I stood again, too much time had passed. But why would I call out to her, anyway? There was no sense to it.
But if I couldn’t focus on my studies and I couldn’t focus on practice. I decided that I would go to bed early, earlier than I usually do. And while it was still early, by the time I was done preparing for bed, it would be less so. This wasn’t unreasonable.
By the time I was done with my bath and was ready for bed, it felt like a more reasonable time to go to bed, so I went to call Kohaku. Rather than ring her room, I went to get her in person. But as I stood in front of her room, I felt myself stop. It would be as simple as knocking on her door and telling her I was about to go to bed. But for some reason, doing so felt impossible. But a thought crossed my mind, that my brother or Hisui seeing me standing here, stationery, would be worse than… I wasn’t sure what it would be worse than, but I didn’t want to be caught out here like this. I knocked on the door.
A few seconds passed and in that time I questioned everything that had led me to this place in time. The impulses had gone away, and it felt like my head was clearing up, so perhaps there was no need for-
The door opened up.
I want to kiss her.
I stared at Kohaku.
I stammered.
She watched me.
“I’m about to retire for the night.”
I began walking away. What I had said was enough, however, so Kohaku followed me back to my bedroom. It had been years since I had slept with another, and when I had done so, it was with my own mother, so I was unsure what to do, but Kohaku wasted no time getting into bed and burying herself under the sheets. I hesitated for a moment, but followed suit and laid down beside her.
She’s so- She’s so beautiful.
I caught myself on that thought. Was it an impulse? It felt like the other impulses I had been feeling this night, but at the same time, it felt totally different.
I should kiss her.
Kohaku laid there, taking in the warmth of the bedsheets. My bed was more than big enough to fit two people, so we each had plenty of room, but despite that, I found myself brushing up against her. I had been the one who had moved closer to her, and I grabbed her arm as well. I lay still in that position as long as I could, but I felt her gaze staring at me, so eventually, I broke and turned to look at her.
She was smiling.
I blushed.
I want ed to kiss her. I felt like I had to do something, like I couldn’t just stay still any longer.
I kissed her.
A single time, quickly, on the cheek.
She giggled.
And kissed me back, quickly, on the cheek, in the same exact way.