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benefits of eavesdropping

Summary:

“Do you really think he’s messing me around?”

“I mean, that’s what it looks like.”

“But… he’s my…”

Nick held his breath, waiting, heart pounding in his ears. Charlie wouldn’t- He wasn’t going to-

“…friend.”

Nick exhaled, but he didn’t feel relieved. Charlie just sounded so… dejected. Nick was causing him issues with his friends, and now Charlie was upset, and it was all his fault, because Nick wanted to keep them a secret.

(He wasn’t any better than Ben.)

And that in mind, he pushed open the door, stepping forward, and Charlie was looking at him in surprise and a little bit of guilt, but Nick met Tao’s angry stare and swallowed heavily.

“Boyfriends,” he corrected, heart in hand. “We’re… boyfriends.”

Notes:

From that scene in ep5.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Do you really think he’s messing me around?”

“I mean, that’s what it looks like.”

“But… he’s my…”

Nick held his breath, waiting, heart pounding in his ears. Charlie wouldn’t- He wasn’t going to-

“…friend.”

Nick exhaled, but he didn’t feel relieved. Charlie just sounded so… dejected. Nick was causing him issues with his friends, and now Charlie was upset, and it was all his fault, because Nick wanted to keep them a secret.

(He wasn’t any better than Ben.)

(At least Ben hadn’t driven a wedge between Charlie and his friends.)

And that in mind, he pushed open the door, stepping forward, and Charlie was looking at him in surprise and a little bit of guilt, but Nick met Tao’s angry stare and swallowed heavily.

“Boyfriends,” he corrected, heart in hand. “We’re… boyfriends.”

He was watching as Tao’s anger turned to shock. Watched as the furrow of his brows eased, and his mouth drifted slightly open in shock. But he couldn’t make himself look at Charlie. His heart was racing in his ears and he couldn’t make himself look at Charlie.

Then Charlie made a sound, and Nick closed his eyes briefly, tightly, before turning to look at him, hands clenched, heart racing, jaw set. Because he hadn’t even asked Charlie first- he didn’t even know if Charlie wanted to tell people and-

And Charlie was-

Charlie was-

Smiling.

Softly. Unsurely. At him. Like he was bursting with happiness, but still holding onto that touch of hesitance that he could never quite shake.

“Boyfriends?” Charlie asked quietly, eyes shining.

“Well, yeah.” Nick blushed. “Was that not already established the last ten times we made out?”

He grinned stupidly at Charlie, and Charlie grinned right back, and Nick’s heart skipped a beat, but for a moment, he could feel the nerves leaving him, instead a glowing warmth filling him from the inside out.

Tao interrupted. “Sorry, what? You two are – dating?”

Nick winced, checking for Charlie’s reaction. But Charlie was grinning up at him as he answered. “Yeah.”

There was silence for a moment before Tao turned to Charlie.

“I’d like to apologise and retract what I said before as your token straight friend. You’re right – straight people don’t exist.”

Charlie and Tao both burst into laughter and Nick smiled at what must’ve been some sort of inside joke.

Tao wasn’t glaring at him anymore, so Nick was hesitantly encouraged to add on, “We were keeping it quiet, because I’m still figuring out my sexuality, and I’m not exactly ready to be out yet.” He paused. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop – but I’m not like messing Charlie around. I definitely like boys, at least.”

Tao narrowed his eyes. “What about that girl – Imogen?”

Nick winced. “That- that was a mistake.” Tao’s gaze was hard and testing. Charlie’s was nervous. “I didn’t really mean to accept – she just asked me out in front of all of her mates and I didn’t know how to say no without embarrassing her. Then, when I tried to explain – her dog had just died? And I didn’t really want to make things worse when she was already crying…”

Some of the anger in Tao’s expression had faded. Charlie looked somewhat understanding.

“I didn’t actually go on a date with her,” Nick hastily tacked on. “And I promised her I’d explain properly tomorrow.”

“Well, I suppose that’s not technically your fault,” Tao allowed, after a pause. “As long as you properly break it off with her.”

Nick nodded emphatically. “Definitely. I don’t wanna lead her on or anything.”

Tao nodded sharply. “So you’re not messing Charlie about?”

“Tao!” Charlie cut in. “If you’re done interrogating Nick, I kind of want to celebrate the fact that I now have a boyfriend.”

Tao sighed dramatically, waving his hand and turning away. “Fine! Snog the boy if you must, but I’m not done talking to him.”

Charlie smirked (and God, was confidence a good look on him). “Well, if you insist.”

There was a silent question in Charlie’s eyes as he stepped forward, into his space. Nick cast a nervous look at Tao, who was resolutely studying a corner of the bathroom. Smiling hesitantly back, Nick didn’t protest as Charlie reached up to cup the back of his head, and he was the one to close the distance to Charlie’s smiling lips.

(This was more than kissing in Charlie’s room, where they ran the risk of his family walking in at any moment. This was a public place, where anyone could see them, with Charlie’s best mate standing just a few metres away.)

(It felt freaking amazing.)

Charlie stepped away, still beaming, somehow emanating happiness in a way that made him a hundred times more beautiful than usual.

“It’s safe to look now, Tao,” Charlie teased, his hand slipping into Nick’s.

Tao let out an overdrawn sigh of relief. “Oh thank God. I’d rather not spend too much time studying this place’s bathroom. It’s only slightly less traumatising that watching my friend snog the star of the rugby team, and that’s already on my like top list of horrors.”

Charlie raised his eyebrows. “Something wrong with two boys kissing, is there Tao?”

Nick automatically tensed, but Tao spluttered, laughing and Charlie was still grinning, only pausing when he glanced at Nick.

“You don’t need to worry about that from any of my friends,” Charlie reassured him, in an aside. “Sorry, I forgot that jokes like that – you don’t know much about gay culture, do you?”

“Gay culture?”

Charlie shook his head. “Anyway, my friends wouldn’t like, make a big deal of it or anything. And they wouldn’t like, tell anyone. Not that you have to come out to them or anything! Just-”

“I’m the token cishet,” Tao offered, and for once he wasn’t frowning at Nick. There was something understanding, almost tolerant in his eyes. “Elle’s trans and Isaac’s aro/ace. And Charlie’s gay, if you hadn’t figured that one out yourself.”

Nick grinned at Charlie. “I had, funny enough.”

Tao rolled his eyes, but Nick got the impression it was more for show than anything else. “Obviously, I still think you’re some prat from the rugby team, but none of us would have any issue with your sexuality, whatever it is.”

“I- thank you.” Nick was mildly stunned. (He hadn’t exactly expected a thorough showcase of support and encouragement on his sexuality when he’d entered the bathroom.) “Really. Thanks.”

“Of course.”

Charlie squeezed his hand and beamed at Tao. “So now will you give Nick a chance?”

Tao sighed. “I suppose.”

Charlie let go of Nick’s hand to punch Tao as he stepped closer.

“Fine!” Tao laughed. He slung an arm around Charlie. “I am happy for you,” he said quietly, warmly. “Even if you had to pick a giant, moronic rugby lad.”

“Really?” Nick felt obligated to protest.

Charlie laughed again, freely and full of mirth, and Nick felt a pang of guilt. Charlie seemed so delighted to share this part of himself with Tao. He wondered if keeping their relationship a secret was having an effect on Charlie’s happiness, even if Charlie had reassured him several times that it was alright.

But then Charlie grinned up at him, somehow ridiculously pretty in the crappy lighting of the bathroom, and somehow all his worries seemed to just fade away.

“Let’s get back to the others, yeah?”

They bowled another round, and if Isaac or Elle picked up on the reduced animosity directed at Nick from Tao, neither of them said anything.

But – something felt different. And not even in a bad way.

Something about having told someone, and actually talking about his sexuality, felt good. Admitting aloud that he liked boys felt good. Also admitting that he still wasn’t exactly sure about his sexuality felt good. Something had eased in his chest – a tension he hadn’t realised was there before.

So, Charlie didn’t say anything when Nick slid onto the bench beside him, too close, really, considering Charlie apologised when they so much as bumped elbows in public. Only raised an eyebrow at him, and smiled when Nick casually let his hand drop on Charlie’s knee.

(The touch felt electric.)

And he’d been paying attention all afternoon. There wasn’t anybody that they knew at the bowling alley. Nobody from Truham or Higgs, even if it was packed with people their age. And Charlie was right – his friends didn’t care. Wouldn’t care.

And so when Charlie made some dumb teasing comment about being able to kick his butt when they headed over to the arcade, it was so incredibly easy to just lean down and kiss him.

(It was liberating.)

Even though the kiss was brief, practically over the second it’d begun, when he pulled away, Charlie’s cheeks were dusted pink, a dazed, confused happiness in his expression.

“O-kay,” Elle drew out, eyebrows raised. But there was a mischievous smile on her lips, and Isaac was grinning beside her. Nick only ducked his head in response, blushing, and Charlie’s hand found his.

“Shut up,” Charlie said, squeezing his hand. “You guys ready to hit the arcade?”

Tao returned to them from where he’d just sent his last ball into the gutter and was quick to usher them all out of their seats. “C’mon! Stare at the lovebirds later – the dance machine awaits!”

Nick pretended not to notice Elle’s whispered demand to Charlie for more details later, and tolerated Isaac’s knowing smile, as well as Tao’s seemingly vague but really quite pointed comment about needing to wash his eyes with bleach after today. Charlie’s smile was like pure sunshine, and Nick was more than happy to bask in its warmth for a while.

(He didn’t let go of Charlie’s hand.)

Notes:

Hey look, I'm helping fix the criminally low number of fics in this fandom. If you're reading this, go do your part /hj

Check out my other heartstopper fic! I think the concept was better! This fic was a bit messy but I had fun writing it (:

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