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The annoying thing about Central City was that everyone who was born and bred in Central City had this ingrained desire to create shows and parades, even though they were completely unnecessary. Central City loved their shows. They loved their parades. And they loved making their parades everybody else’s problem, too. The higher echelon of the military mainly consisted of Central born and bred soldiers who’d ascended due to nepotism, an absurd amount of money, and connections to kingdom come and back. So, if they wanted to inflict a parade on the State Alchemists, they’d inflict a parade on State Alchemists.
And there was nothing anyone could do about it.
Solf J. Kimblee, Hero of Ishval, was sick and tired of these stupid parades. He had said this to Maes, too: ‘’I am sick and tired of these stupid parades.’’
Maes, as a Central boy himself, had baulked at such unkind words. ‘’But it’s about bringing the community together. And it’s about uniting all of the branches of the military together. There’s representatives of every military base! It’s such a unique thing to be a part of. I love it!’’
He loved it because he got to see Roy Mustang. Kimblee tolerated it because he got to see Riza Hawkeye. This year, however, there’d be a new addition from the Eastern Military: Edward Elric. The Fullmetal Alchemist.
‘’I never met the kid.’’ Maes said, giddy beyond measure, even swaying on the balls of his feet. ‘’I can’t wait to see him. I bet he’s going to look so-’’
‘’Out of place among hardened war veterans. Yes, you’re exactly right. Or maybe they’ll put him out front with the volunteers who were closer to his age. Why, yes, Maes, I think that’d be much better than putting him right next to me.’’
There’d been a pamphlet delivered to all of the participating members of the military. They knew where to stand, where to go, who they were standing next to, and what was expected of them to do. This wasn't something just about anyone could refuse.
‘’I think they wanted to kind of even you out. Hero of Ishval and the youngest State Alchemist.’’ Maes gave his two cens, sensing how displeased Kimblee was with all of this.
‘’It looks like I’m babysitting him.’’ Kimblee complained.
There was a parade. You'd think the army was just a bunch of clowns instead of actual military-trained officers with how invested everyone else had gotten. Roy Mustang in particular. There was something wrong about that guy with how invested he got about making everything from the East military look perfect. It was like his whole life depended on it.
Edward Elric was told he had to participate. And he had to be in uniform. And that he had better not be late or complain even once.
His superior officer was Roy Mustang and in their first year of working together he had attempted to be a no nonsense sort of guy who would teach Edward all about military life.
Which in a way made perfect sense. Roy Mustang hadn’t seen the child without limbs, staring vacantly; hadn’t seen the terror nestled behind his eyes and the onslaught of guilty tears. No, he saw a young soldier who was under his watch. And that was it.
It had been Kimblee who’d seen that heinous sight years ago. Roy Mustang only saw his employee (a very funny and strange one that was most definitely growing on him, but he couldn't afford to slip) since clearly they had assigned Edward to him as some sort of joke.
"The uniform is a must." Roy Mustang had barked. Edward had tried explaining himself that he'd do everything that was asked of him but that he'd be too hot in the uniform.
"Well tough shit, Major. Everyone is going to be in uniform and I won't have you sticking out like a sore thumb. Now remember, I expect you to be on your best behaviour or else you won't be leaving desk-duty until you're my age!"
Edward sensed impending catastrophe when he saw the amount of people gathered for the parade. Let alone the old, glowering soldiers. The only happy faces he saw were Central soldiers. They were incredibly easy to spot, too, since they were the only ones who had the Amestrian National Flowers pinned to their uniforms. It set them apart, it showcased an honour being assigned to Central City merited. It also, sprouted the cruel nickname Central City Flower other branches of the military were keen on implementing. Yet today, nothing could deter the Central City Flowers. They all glowed and they all laughed. Chief among them being Maes Hughes. Edward knew the man was Maes Hughes because he recognised his voice from all of the telephoning he did with Roy Mustang. Also he knew it was Maes Hughes by how quickly he'd made the glowering face of Roy Mustang cheer up. All of the clouds surrounding him had cleared when they embraced and began talking. Riza Hawkeye, even, gave Maes a small smile.
Oh god. Edward scowled at the sight of another Central soldier. The Crimson Lotus Alchemist.
"Hello, Edward." The man greeted him, looking down at him from his imposing height, both metaphorical and literal.
"Hello." Edward replied back. Best behaviour. He had to be on his best behaviour. Even though he might collapse in this heat. Tug. He tugged at the collar. Tug again. It wasn't enough.
Kimblee was an observant man by nature. Much more than he let on. Most people observed others to gain some insight into what they wanted, what they needed; Kimblee had always observed people so he could, yes, understand what others wanted or needed, but also to understand what was expected of him in social circumstances that usually were incredibly alien to him.
So, it wasn't surprising that Kimblee would be the one to first spot Edward's ongoing discomfort escalating into a potential meltdown. The boy kept tugging at his uniform. Tug. Tug. Violently. He was looking at all of the people, flinching at the noises. It was overwhelming.
Kimblee knew what would happen to someone like that. Especially in a military setting. If Mustang was the only one being asked it'd be lenient. It was a child, after all. However if anyone dared to ruin or miss out on this parade and the higher echelon found out about it, the consequences would be more severe.
Well, unless it was the Hero of Ishval. They couldn't do shit to him and Kimblee very rarely abused this, but he did sometimes. And today looked like an opportune time to abuse his authority in the military. He was a beloved veteran. A terrifying force not to be reckoned with. And besides, Kimblee really disliked these parades. He felt like a show pony. If he had a much higher rank maybe he'd enjoy these things, but as a Major there wasn’t much to enjoy. So he devised a plan. One of those quick-witted ones he devised while on his feet, his favourite kind.
They began marching. Edward hadn’t yet spoken to him, other than that small greeting. He was too busy twitching, his eyes following along too many variables for him to keep up. His chest was beginning to heave, too. The sun above them was merciless. Not like Ishval, not even like Resembool could be, but when put in that thick uniform it was obscenely hot. Edward was sweating and trying to tug his uniform off, only to remember that he had to keep it pristine, and groaned at himself.
Rows of people had gathered and begun shouting with glee at the uniformed men and women of Amestris. For a militaristic country such as Amestris these parades were the highlight of holiday celebration for most.
For some, how Edward was no doubt, this was a torture most foul. The boy tugged at the uniform, twitched in his boots, closed and opened his eyes at the blazing sun above them, and flinched away from the terrible noises. He was wearing gloves. Kimblee had a hateful relationship with military issues gloves. Oh they were horrendous.
Edward sharing his dislike of them made Kimblee want to help him out even more.
Without much fanfare or careful deliberation, Kimblee just grabbed Edward when they were going to turn as a parade, having spotted a perfect alley for them to dip into. It was graceful, and if anyone noticed anything - they had better not have noticed anything if they knew what was best for them. The Hero of Ishval had every right to ruin any soldier in Central. He'd done it before and he'd he'd it again shamelessly.
The first thing Kimblee did was place his palms over Edward’s ears and hold them there until the boy calmed down enough to look at Kimblee without that terribly overwhelmed face.
‘’Is that any better for you?’’
Edward nodded. The noise was muffled.
‘’We won’t be returning to that.’’
Edward nodded again. The noise would continue to fade away, then. He wouldn’t be in the thick of it. He wouldn’t be around so many people. So many loud people.
‘’I’ll remove my palms now.’’
Edward nodded. Only when Kimblee did this and Edward noticed the other’s tattooed arrays did he realise how terrified he should have been to have his hands on him. He'd thought those hands could only cause chaos and misfortune. This proved him wrong.
‘’We’re skipping.’’ Kimblee explained, gesturing to both himself and Edward. ‘’I can’t stand that needless fanfare.’’ He could stand it, a part of him said, if he were a higher ranking officer. If he had the philosopher’s stone. But since both of those factors were only a distant dream for him right now, Kimblee would skip and have Maes talk to the superior officers about the Hero of Ishval’s strange and insubordinate behaviour. What would they do to him, really? Nothing. They'd only hassle him a bit, but ultimately they wouldn't wouldn't anything to him.
‘’I can’t.’’ Edward all but cried. "It's insubordination if I skip."
‘’It’s an order.’’ Kimblee said, having a well of patience for Edward when normally he wouldn't for anyone else. ‘’You can’t refuse the Hero of Ishval.’’
Technically since both Kimblee and Edward were Majors, Edward could refuse him. Though, Edward would be foolish to. ‘’Ok.’’
Edward didn’t see the Hero of Ishval. He saw the man who had forced him to watch as he forced Al to dig their mother up. Who had berated them the entire time about the sacrilege they had committed. Who had seen them both, limbless, sorry, in agony, and said he did not care. That he would not let them get away with this crime. There was a chill around Edward whenever he remembered meeting Kimblee for the first time. He’d been an imposing sight. Also in uniform. The same one he wore now. The same one Edward was forced into.
The idea of leaving the parade was amazing to Edward. But the idea of going anywhere with this man; with this horrible, terrifying man was enough for Edward’s breathing to shallow out again. For the shakes to come back. And he was still in the itchy, scratchy uniform. The sun was too bright somehow in Central City. It looked artificial. The amount of people still around, having come out of their homes to watch the parade - they were loud and they were abundant. Someone from the countryside couldn’t measure up to this.
The worst part had to be that Kimblee noticed. He looked around to see if there was any place to move Edward to. As his apartment was too far away. There was a bar. Kimblee grabbed Edward by his underarm and dragged him quickly. ‘’Don’t throw up.’’ he urged. ‘’Wait.’’
Edward nodded. The nausea was still oncoming, but he tried willing it down. What was this? What was this compared to everything Edward had gone through?
Ding. The little bell at the door rang.
‘’Welcome-’’
Kimblee was speaking over the barmen. ‘’Yes, glad to be here. Where’s your toilet?’’
‘’In the back right here -’’
Kimblee was dragging Edward at lightning speed.
‘’Thank you for your service!’’
‘’Yes, yes, thank you for your support of the military!’’
Edward fell to his knees and unloaded all of his stress into the toilet right in front of him. Kimblee sighed in relief that this had gone as well as it had.
‘’Are you all right now?’’ Kimblee asked Edward. His braid had completely loosened and the boy was whining about it getting into his face. ‘’Here,’’ Kimblee undid the braid and made a ponytail for him, just to get the hair out of his face as requested. ‘’Is it any better?’’
‘’The uniform was too hot. There were way too many people.’’
‘’I understand that. In my first year of the Academy I was often overwhelmed by Central City.’’ Kimblee confided. ‘’I didn’t come from a small place like Resembool, of course, but it was a deader city than Central City that was for certain.’’
Edward was nodding along to Kimblee’s soothing voice. Very slowly, almost on the verge of tears: ‘’Mustang’s going to be mad at me.’’
‘’No, he isn't.’’ Kimblee was just about to condescend about what a childish mindset Edward had when he remembered the boy was twelve . So he bit his tongue in time.
Edward’s voice had a bit of an echo when speaking from the toilet shell. "He told me he’d give me desk duty if I didn’t participate in this. Doesn’t he get it that I gotta be travelling and searching for a way to get our bodies back?’’
‘’Mustang’s got no backbone to actually enforce any of his threats.’’ Kimblee scoffed. ‘’He’s the best superior officer someone like you could’ve gotten.’’
Central City would have eaten little Edward Elric alive by now. Well, perhaps not if he had Maes Hughes as a superior officer. Kimblee still couldn't believe how lucky he'd gotten with that arrangement.
‘’I need to do stuff right. And it’s all new to me, okay, and everyone’s expecting way too much from me.’’ Edward buried his hands in his hair and curled his fingers into his scalp, avoiding Kimblee’s gaze. ‘’And I’m trying. I put on the uniform. I did it. I got here on time. I went out with everyone else and I promised everyone I’d give it my best. My best wasn’t good enough. The minute we started walking everything tumbled around my head.’’
‘’That’s all right.’’ Kimblee said. He was rolling some of the toilet paper to give to Edward to clean his face with.
‘’No, it’s not!’’ Edward shouted, profusely. And then regretted the sudden movement because something lurched in his stomach again. ‘’Oh god.’’ He returned to the toilet.
Kimblee grimaced. ‘’You’ll be hungry after this.’’
‘’I can’t eat anything.’’
‘’It’s dangerous to be walking around without any food or water in this heat. Let’s grab a drink here and go have some ice cream.’’
‘’You?’’ Edward couldn’t even lift his head from the toilet, but the disbelief was felt through his words nonetheless. ‘’You’re offering to take me out to ice cream?’’
‘’What’s so bad about it?’’ Kimblee still had the rolled up toilet paper waiting for Edward. ‘’Are you lactose intolerant and can’t eat ice cream?’’
‘’I can eat ice cream just fine.’’
"Excellent then. That means we'll go have some after you settle yourself."
Edward threw up one more time before he could manage to get to a table in the bar.
First Kimblee wet some of the toilet paper and wiped Edward’s face with it. It helped. He had completely overheated apparently. Resembool was hotter than this. But Ed had never had to wear such thick, stuffy clothes.
"Take your jacket off." Kimblee ordered. Edward shrugged it off and handed it to him. The other just folded it in half and carried it over his arm. He left Edward in the bathroom and told him to come out when he was ready.
Kimblee ordered them both juice.
Edward couldn't even complain about the kid treatment because the bastard had ordered juice for himself too. It was just heatstroke weather type things then.
He drank his juice in silence. Kimblee drank his too in silence. It didn't last long. Kimblee, Edward would learn, wasn't the type to be silenced for long. "You're very pale. Though, I suppose throwing up would do that to you."
Edward rolled his eyes. "Fuck off." He was becoming bolder around him without even noticing.
‘’Do you still want some ice cream?’’ Kimblee asked him, choosing not to react to the curse words. ‘’I really want some ice cream.’’
Edward managed a nod. His guts were twisting with anxiousness. ‘’What about Al? I didn’t - fuck - he’s going to worry about where I am.’’
‘’Then let him worry.’’ Kimblee fanned this away casually. ‘’He’ll ask around, find out that I’m gone from this silly charade.’’
‘’Charade, parade.’’ Edward muttered into his glass.
‘’Exactly.’’ Kimblee continued without missing a beat. ‘’And then someone competent, possibly Riza Hawkeye, would add two and two together and realise we were together and that you were safe.’’
Edward nodded. That sounded right. Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye would definitely be able to do that.
‘’So, see, there is nothing to worry about.’’ Kimblee placated the twelve-year old. Which wasn't something he ever thought he would be doing, yet here he was.
"Can I take this uniform off?"
"Sure-"
Edward began unbuttoning it right then and there.
"Not here, Edward! Go to the bathroom first!"
Edward had transmuted the fabric of his uniform to make himself a t-shirt and some shorts. Kimblee bit back any comments about how ugly Edward’s style was. The boy was suffering today and didn't need it.
They went for ice cream. The man who had made his brother dig what they thought to be their mother up had taken him out for ice cream.
"Take whichever flavour you want."
Edward picked five scoops. He would be milking this good nature of the man for as long as he could.
Kimblee looked at his two scoops. He didn't say anything then either .
Their ice cream had arrived. Edward wasn't digging in. Kimblee was. Kimblee was hungry for something cold in this summer heat, thank you.
‘’Can I tell you something?’’ Edward finally asked. It looked important to him. Which made Kimblee somewhat reluctant to immediately accept.
‘’That severely depends on what it is.’’
Another shake. Edward tried not to let it slow his resolve. ‘’It’s got to do with the taboo.’’
‘’Don’t tell me you tried it again ?’’ Kimblee didn’t think children could ruin his mental health more than the war and the post-war assimilation to peace had done, but there he was!
‘’No, you - you dumbass.’’ Edward, and this would be fascinating for Kimblee to learn later down the line, was a tiny bit still reserved about his communication with him at this point. He didn’t know what to say to him, he didn’t know which insults were appropriate. By the time Edward turned fifteen, however, he’d already called Kimblee every conceivable insult he could find. Now, as a twelve year old overwhelmed with life, he hadn’t exactly the courage.
‘’Then go on.’’ Kimblee motioned with his hand for Edward to continue. Or begin, as was the case.
‘’There was this portal.’’ Edward began. ‘’It opened up right underneath Al and me.’’ His sentences were small and stilted. It appeared that this was the first time he had to explain it to someone else. To someone that hadn’t been there. He'd never dare tell this stuff to Granny Pinako or Winry. Not now, at least. When it was too fresh and too painful. ''It was like an all-seeing eye that stared right through my soul.''
A part of Kimblee wanted to stop Edward and ask him if he even wanted to tell someone like him something so personal. Though, another part of him, the part that had found Edward and Alphonse in Resembool, had found children who’d gone to alchemical lengths Kimblee had only ever dreamt about in the recess of his mind (never, ever to voice aloud, never, ever, ever to attempt) - this part of Kimblee wanted Edward to open up his ribcage and bare his story to him without sparing a single detail.
Edward spoke. Edward shook. Edward ground his fear and agony into dust to get this story out. The ice cream was melting. Neither party cared enough. ‘’I - I saw everything. I had so much information right at my fingertips. It felt like I was going to die again and again.’’
Kimblee was leaning forward. He could understand Edward’s frustrations, then. The fact that he had so much information tumbling in his head - information that he claimed he couldn’t even access, couldn’t even do anything about in the first months after the Taboo had been committed. ‘’I was trapped in my own body, in a way.’’ The automail surgery. The post-surgery recovery. The physical therapy. All of it had worn Edward down, had stifled him, had made him both impatient and terrified. "I passed the State Alchemist exam and thought, this is it, this is when my journey will finally begin. I can’t wait. I'm going to make Al's sacrifice worth it. We'll get our bodies back and it'll be okay. I'll be okay."
Kimblee gestured to the melting ice cream. Edward took a couple of spoonfuls. "But then I saw what a giant wall was in front of me. I don't know anything about the military. You're the first time I ever saw a military officer straight up. Sure. Sure during the war when I was a kid I'd see some soldiers patrolling through Resembool. But that doesn't count, okay. That's me looking in from the outside… this is the first time I'm from the inside looking even more inside."
Edward ate the ice cream. They were sitting inside so his automail wouldn't overheat. Kimblee hadn't even considered that.
"I was ready to dedicate every waking minute of my life to finding a cure for Al and me. Mustang's aware of my circumstances and you know what he does?"
"What?" Kimblee whispered. He was completely held by this conversation, having never heard anything like it in his entire life.
‘’Colonel Mustang orders me to go to a parade.’’ Edward laughed.
Kimblee could understand that. He'd felt the same way when he'd been ordered to attend his first parade right after Ishval. They'd taken his philosopher's stone away, ultimately rendering him incapable of continuing his alchemical research and elevating it to never-before seen heights. His role as researcher had all but been pulled from under him and replaced with obedient show-pony. So, yes, he understood that deep ire nestled between Edward's teeth when he said the word 'parade' with such deep, deep loathing.
Edward had not yet begun calling Mustang names, either. He was new. He was afraid that the rug underneath his and Al’s feet would be pulled if he slipped even once. The resources the military offered were like a hostage situation for him, like a dangled carrot.
Kimblee placed a hand on Edward’s arm and pulled it away before he started pulling at his hair and hitting himself. Without noticing, perhaps because Edward wasn’t in a position to think clearly in this state, he grabbed a hold of Kimblee’s hand with both of his hands, flesh and automail. As an anchor.
‘’A parade.’’ A laugh bubbled in Edward’s horrified voice. ‘’Like I don’t have much more important shit to do? Like he doesn’t get that every waking second I’m not researching a way to get our bodies back is a second I’ll never get back. It’s a second longer that Al won’t be able to sleep. Won’t be able to smell or taste or touch or feel.’’
Kimblee grimaced. This level of anxiety shouldn't be normal in a child.
‘’He’s going to hate me.’’ Edward was hiccupping now, still staring through Kimblee instead of at him. Kimblee used his other hand to pry the automail off of himself, sensing perhaps that if Edward continued down this spiral he might accidentally squeeze too tight for Kimblee to manage.
‘’Mustang?’’
‘’Yeah, he’s going to order me to a desk and I’ll waste away there. I won’t be able to get Al his body back. I - I don’t care about my body. I can have a semi-normal life.’’
As a child soldier? Kimblee doubted it severely.
‘’But Al needs me. Al needs this more. Al - it’s only a matter of time before Al starts hating me. The longer this takes the longer he’ll suffer. And I saw so much. I saw - I saw Truth.’’ Edward’s voice was shaking. ‘’And -’’
‘’I’ll deal with Mustang, all right? You won’t need to say anything to him.’’ Kimblee said. And it made all the difference in the world to have someone in the middle, to have someone in his corner. Someone with gravitas like they said the Hero of Ishval had.
Edward had time to finally calm. Everything was catching up with him now that his mind wasn’t in overdrive. ‘’Don’t, don’t tell him about what happened - why I had to leave the parade.’’
‘’It will be easier if he knew it overwhelmed you. So he won’t ask you to go to a similar event-’’
‘’No.’’ Edward's voice might have become a shout without him meaning to.
‘’All right.’’ Kimblee accepted, noticing how the ice cream parlour waitress was eyeing them. ‘’I won’t tell him.’’
Edward was so flabbergasted how simple it was to talk to Kimblee. Perhaps that was the reason why Edward felt he owed Kimblee to tell him everything about the Taboo.
‘’Why are you nice to me?’’
Kimblee gestured to Edward. Edward waited. Kimblee shook his hand more insistently. ‘’You’re a child, Edward. Furthermore you have a disability. I would rather take you away from that parade than have to take you to a doctor because of some meltdown.’’
‘’So it’s because you pity me, huh?’’ Edward had slumped in his chair. He untangled himself from Kimblee and ate his ice cream. It was more of a pool of ice cream liquid than what he’d started off, but it was a welcome distraction.
‘’No, it is not.’’
Edward sulked. ‘’You’re going to hold this over my head, then? Going to tell everyone about what a child I am?’’
Frustration was building up within Kimblee at the lack of understanding he found on Edward’s part. ‘’That is not what is happening here. You are clearly misunderstanding this.’’
‘’I should have been able to carry this out. I wanted to carry this out. I have to be a Major.’’
‘’That rank is titular for State Alchemists.’’ Kimblee hissed in aggravation, wanting Edward to see.
‘’I can’t falter. Ever. Everyone’s always going to be looking at me as the youngest State Alchemist. I can’t let anyone down. Al depends on it. My funding and my resources depend on it.’’
‘’Nobody’s asking you to.’’ Kimblee said. Then he asked, actually angry: ‘’Is Mustang asking you these things? Is he asking you to act like a soldier with years of military experience and training?’’
‘’Noo.’’ Edward said. ‘’But I need to be perfect, okay. So much is depending on me being a good soldier. As a State Alchemist I’ve got so many more resources than I normally would. Than I ever would. This.’’ He gestured to himself, to the meltdown, to the weakness of youth and inexperience, ‘’This is unacceptable.’’
That last sentence sounded so much like something the boy had internalised, having heard it from others. Kimblee sighed. ‘’Edward, listen to me. This won’t be the first nor last time a soldier has fallen ill.’’
‘’So now I’m ill ?’’
‘’What do you prefer to call it? I call it what it is and you don’t like it. I call it something else to soothe your bruised ego and you bite me for it. What do you call today?’’
‘’...An off day.’’
‘’An off day, then.’’ Kimblee adapted so quickly. ‘’They happen.’’
‘’They can’t happen to me.’’
Kimblee sighed, again. He forced Edward to look at him and to listen to him. "If off days can happen to grown adults with a lot more resources and experience in dealing with stressful situations then they can happen to someone as new to this as you."
Tears were welling in his eyes.
‘’Don’t have another panic attack, please .’’ Kimblee said.
Edward was just about to shout at him and tell him that just because he asked nicely didn’t mean he could just stop this at the drop of a hat. But he figured someone as big of a know-it-all as Kimblee definitely knew all about that.
‘’You are severely overwhelmed.’’
‘’No shit, Detective Crimson. Good job.’’
Kimblee did what he knew best then: he talked.
Just anything that came to his mind so he got Edward's mind off of everything.
"Do you like animals?"
"Ye." Edward answered, his voice as small as one would expect from a scared twelve-year-old.
Kimblee talked about a cat he had before going to Ishval. He talked about all the misadventures hiding a cat in the Academy had entailed.
"Al loves cats." Edward latched onto this and began talking about how many cats Al had tried smuggling inside his armour.
This conversation lasted until Edward had completely calmed down. And until Mustang, Maes, and Riza found them.
‘’Major Elric, what is the meaning of this insubordination?’’ Roy Mustang said when he saw Edward out of uniform, out of the parade, eating ice cream. And with Kimblee, too, to make matters worse!
His worst suspicions were confirmed when he saw both Edward and Kimblee sporting ponytails. His youngest team member had been Kimblified. The horror.
Kimblee simply looked at Roy Mustang, one of them the Hero of Ishval, another a higher-ranking officer. ‘’I wanted to go have some ice cream in this unbearable heat. Besides, I would rather be in Briggs than in that stupid parade.’’ Then, upon Mustang’s prompting glare, he added. ‘’I insisted Edward accompany me.’’
‘’I couldn’t say no to the Hero of Ishval, after all.’’
‘’Exactly.’’ Kimblee said. Mustang would think it weird at how giddy Kimblee had been to say this, but he lacked the context. Kimblee had said this with such gusto because, yes, Edward, exactly, it was Kimblee’s fault. It wasn’t Edward Elric’s fault at all that he wasn’t in the parade. Exactly.
‘’He’s a Major just like you! Yes, you could’ve refused him!’’ Mustang groaned, placing his hands on his hip and glaring profusely. A vein might threaten to pop from the frustration.
‘’I didn’t know that!’’ Edward pretended.
‘’Well, now you know!’’ Roy continued to shout.
Maes saw Kimblee, saw Edward, saw the ice cream, and smiled broadly at the conclusion he drew. He gave Kimblee a proud thumbs up. The man waved his ice cream spoon at Maes as a response. They needed to talk.
Riza Hawkeye, another observant woman by nature, took notice of Edward's fatigue and pallor. She let Roy Mustang prattle on about insubordination and how little respect either Kimblee or Edward had for this momentous occasion. And she didn't interrupt him once or roll her eyes or divulge careful information about how much Roy had complained about this damned parade in East City. No, she let pretences be pretences.
"I should go find Al." Edward whispered to Kimblee at the end of Mustang's lecture. Kimblee nodded and shooed him away.
"I'm the kid's superior officer here!" Roy Mustang, it appeared, wasn't taking this friendship well at all. "He should be asking me things. Not you."
"Edward, go and ask your superior officer if it's okay if you go and find your eleven-year-old brother in this giant crowd."
Edward repeated this request. Exactly how Kimblee had phrased it.
Mustang said that, OF COURSE, Edward could go. Edward turned to Kimblee and thanked him for the ice cream (and everything else). He saluted Mustang and fled.
A glare at Kimblee. "Know your place."
Kimblee shrugged. "If you have a problem with my behaviour, please, take it up with my superior officer, sir."
Mustang looked at Maes in horror. Maes just shrugged his shoulders and sheepishly smiled in that It can't be helped way of his. He'd had to bite a lot of bullets since becoming Kimblee's superior officer after Ishval. Kimblee didn't mind just putting Maes in uncomfortable situations where he had to explain away Kimblee's eccentricities. At least now that it was Roy, Maes could just shrug and say nothing more. They both knew what Kimblee was like.
"How was the parade?" Kimblee asked, to change the subject.
"It was shit." Roy Mustang said.
"It was great!" Maes smiled widely. ''Gracia and Elicia cheered me on and I didn't even feel the heatwave!''
Riza grimaced.
‘’Big brother, you had me worried!’’ Alphonse fretted. ''I didn't see you at all.''
‘’Sorry, Al,’’ Edward said, rubbing the back of his neck, ‘’I’ll tell you more about it later. But Kimblee really saved my ass.’’
‘’Oh?'' Alphonse showed his surprise: ''So we aren’t afraid of him anymore?’’
‘’Nah, he’s still a fucker. But I’m less afraid of him now.’’
Riza Hawkeye and Roy Mustang were talking while Maes was listening to Kimblee report to him about why he'd deemed it his and Edward’s best interest to skip this parade. Maes knew what he had to do. So he cleared his throat and said: "Roy boy! I need to talk to you!"
Roy blinked. But Riza was already moving to Kimblee’s side before Roy could even figure out what was happening. Maes grabbed a hold of Roy and dragged him farther out. This didn't look like a conversation Roy would enjoy. He thought it was too hot for this.
‘’How old is Edward Elric?’’ Maes asked. He knew. But he wanted to see if his best friend knew or if he only had his eyes set on the Fuhrer Presidency.
‘’Twelve.’’ Mustang said. ‘’I know he’s a kid, but it doesn’t give him the right to be insubordinate like this. I’m his superior officer. We have a different rapport in East City, okay. I’m not this hard on him when Central’s eyes aren’t on me.’’
‘’No, listen to me. He’s a kid. Let’s put aside for a moment how fucked that is. He’s a child soldier. As if we didn’t outlaw those in this day and age, oh, but he’s technically a State Alchemist and there’s nothing in the rulebook about an age limit for those.’’ Maes stressed. ‘’And yeah, probably, you got assigned to be his superior officer as a snub from the higher ups. Nobody’s ever going to dispute that. It’s as clear as the sky above Central City in July.’’
Roy sighed. He crossed his arms. ‘’Who sent you to talk to me?’’
‘’Kimblee! You know it’s bad when he signalled me to talk to you.’’
An eye twitch. ‘’Just because Edward complained to him about having to go out in the sun in uniform like the rest of us doesn’t mean I’m some slave driver.’’
‘’He thinks you’re going to cut him off from his research if he disobeys you. That you’re going to bar him from finding a way for him to return his and his brother’s bodies. You have the authority to do so, so the kid thinks you will.’’
Roy uncrossed his arms. He looked at Maes, for the first time like he was listening to him. There was horror nestled on the tip of his tongue. Horror that he would ever make a kid think something like that. ‘’I’d never .’’
‘’Yeah, Kimblee figured.’’ Roy Mustang disliked the fact that apparently Solf J. Kimblee gave himself enough leeway to figure things out about Roy Mustang. Furthermore he hated him even more for being right. Maes continued: ‘’I know that, too. But Edward doesn’t. Edward thinks he’s supposed to walk around you on his toes. Talk to him, would you? He doesn’t know you.’’
‘’I’ll,’’ Roy sighed. ‘’I’ll do it.’’
‘’How was the parade?’’
‘’Shit.’’
Kimblee nodded. He offered Riza the seat where Edward had been sitting. She took it gladly and ordered some ice cream for herself.
‘’It was a smart move to skip it.’’ Riza said, unbuttoning the jacket of the uniform. She shed it and relished in being slightly less prone to getting heatstroke.
They clinked their ice cream spoons together as a greeting and as an acknowledgment.
‘’Thank you for taking care of him.’’ Riza smiled at Kimblee.
‘’Of course. I may not be the boy’s superior officer but I hold myself responsible in a way because I found him.’’
Riza’s smile widened.
‘’I think as punishment for skipping this heinous and terrible parade I’ll have to be sent out East during this year’s North-East military training.’’ Kimblee said.
‘’A most nefarious punishment fit for the likes of you.’’ Riza put on a theatrical voice. Kimblee smiled at it, at Riza, at everything about her.
‘’They’ll probably give me some administrative duty, I presume.’’
‘’Oh, no. The agony.’’
‘’I know.’’ Kimblee continued eating his ice cream. He even grabbed some from Riza’s bowl. ‘’But I will have to persevere, of course.’’
‘’Of course. Such is military life.’’ Riza was on the verge of a laugh.
‘’It’ll be so boring, though.’’ Kimblee said, expectantly looking at Riza.
‘’Ah, my condolences.’’
Kimblee laughed first. ‘’Oh come on, Riza, I’m desperate here!’’
Riza refused to laugh. She was fighting the urge. ‘’No, I’m not promising you I’ll help you do paperwork. That’s your punishment. My punishment is having to stop Colonel Mustang from getting jumped by Northern soldiers.’’
‘’The monolith is definitely not to be underestimated. They put me in shackles and arrested me because I blew up a mountain’’
‘’I had heard something about that. Though, I heard more about how you had some fun with a horologist."
‘’Okay,'' Kimblee clinked his ice cream spoon against the bowl as he left it and crossed his hands in disbelief. ''So Maes cannot be trusted.’’
‘’Maes? No, no, someone much higher up than Maes told me.’’
Kimblee opened and closed his mouth. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously.
Riza had finished her ice cream. She saw the remains of Kimblee’s ice cream and switched the bowls. Next she kept eye contact with Kimblee, emboldened by the sight of him still thinking in disbelief, and grabbed the spoon he’d been using to eat with. She made him look as she put it in her mouth.
He cleared his throat. ‘’Firstly, it’s obscene how little privacy I have in this rumour mill I work in that is the cog of the military. Secondly, don’t seduce me in public. Thirdly, Olivier Armstrong sends you letters?!’’
‘’She perfumes her letters.’’
‘’She perfumes her letters!’’
‘’And she even recommends me poetry books to read.’’
‘’I didn’t even know she read poetry?!’’
‘’Also she asks me to join her up North in every letter. Without fail.’’
Kimblee deadpanned then. ‘’Lieutenant Hawkeye, is this one of those situations where you don’t understand you’re being flirted with or are you aware that Olivier Armstrong is all but asking for your hand in marriage with these advances?’’
Riza deadpanned then: ‘’Major Kimblee, don’t worry about it. You’ll be the first to know if I become engaged.’’
They both looked at one another with their serious, no-nonsense military expressions. But then Riza laughed. And Kimblee’s one slid right off, too. ‘’She perfumes her letters.’’
She elbowed him hard. ‘’This is confidential.’’
‘’Are you instating a gag order?’’
‘’Most definitely I am.’’
‘’I’ll have to follow it then, won’t I?’’
‘’Yes, you will.’’ Riza bared her teeth in the smile she gave him then. Kimblee returned it in equal measure.
‘’Ah, thank you for your service!’’ The ice cream parlour waiter wrung her hands together and said. ‘’But I’ll have to ask you to pay now because we’re closing up early today because it’s the holiday.’’
‘’Ah,’’ Kimblee fished around for his wallet. But Riza was quicker. ‘’No, no I’ll pay.’’
‘’No, you won’t.’’
‘’You’re in Central, let me pay.’’
‘’You’ll pay next time!’’
The waiter hadn’t taken any money yet. She began to sweat as she stared at the two bickering soldiers. Veterans.
‘’Riza, let me pay.’’
‘’Solf, I will shoot you in the foot if you don’t put that money away.’’
The waiter said their ice cream was on the house, if only to hurry them along before they started a shoot-out over the bill! ‘’Thank you for your service!’’ She shouted again, louder, as if it explained her choice.
Before they could complain, they were being ushered out.
‘’How long are you in Central City?’’ Kimblee asked.
‘’We leave tomorrow morning.’’
‘’Excellent. I’ll take you out for drinks!’’
‘’No, I’ll be taking you out for drinks.’’ Riza insisted.
‘’It’s a part of my culture to pay!’’
‘’No, last time you paid so this time I’m meant to pay!’’
This continued.
Maes asked them if it’d be easier if they each paid for their own drinks. ‘’You know. Go Central, as they say.’’
‘’We aren’t like you cold hearted bastards from Central City!’’
Maes clutched his heart. ‘’Being from Central City doesn’t make me cold hearted…’’
‘’Shouldn't you pay all the time since you’re the guy?’’ Edward asked.
‘’That’s sexist.’’ Roy Mustang said.
Alphonse nodded. ‘’I think you should just go Central.’’
‘’Not on your life!’’ Both Kimblee and Riza shouted. They felt strongly about this.
A couple of drinks in, when Riza and Kimblee both had settled their score of who's going to pay, the topic of accommodation got brought up.
"We're staying at the Kritz."
Instant, absurd, great horror.
‘’Maes, Maes! They’re staying at the Kritz.’’ Kimblee said, gravely.
‘’No,’’ Maes grabbed a hold of Roy in horror. ‘’Come tonight to my place. I’ll make you the couch and Gracia will make you some food. You can’t handle the Kritz in summer.’’
Roy Mustang, never before having gone to the Kritz hotel, asked very carefully what was so bad about it.
Riza, who’d actually gone to the hotel to get their keys, check the accommodation, and unload their bags, explained: ‘’Remember how for the benefactor night we complained there was no heating? Well, the Kritz solves that problem.’’
‘’Oh no.’’ Roy caught on.
‘’There’s heating all year round. Nobody can turn it off. People have tried.’’
‘’Lieutenant,’’ Roy whispered with dread, "where will you be staying? Our hotel has been compromised. I insist you find alternative accommodation."
Riza pointed at Kimblee. ''I haven't seen Kimblee's newest place.''
''It's smaller, I only have one guest room now.'' Kimblee explained.
Roy wished he hadn't asked. All of his words turned to ash on his tongue.
"I actually don't know where he lives so this will be fun."
"Don't go to any secondary locations with him!"
Kimblee scoffed in offence. "Colonel Mustang, I'm putting my life in danger here by letting an armed woman near me and yet this is the thanks I get."
Maes wagged his finger at Riza: "You be nice to him. He needs to go to work tomorrow."
Riza snorted. "I'll make sure he's operational."
More drinks followed. Someone asked Brigadier General Basque to demonstrate his alchemy. This was a mistake. A terrible one. But it was a lot of fun. And they'd all remember this night to varying degrees.
Even more drinks followed. Maes figured he was the only uniformed soul sober at this party. He hoped that young Edward Elric wouldn't be too bored with his younger brother in Central City. But this type of environment wasn't fit for a child.
"I'm going home." Kimblee said.
Riza was on his arm. He wasn't shaking her off. She wasn't shaking herself off. In fact she looked at her superior officer and said: "Sir, I'll be turning in for tonight."
Roy nodded, plastered. "To the hotel?"
"God no." Riza scoffed. "If I wanted to go in a sauna I'd go to one properly."
Roy was so happy he didn't let himself ask where she'd be going. Because his alcohol riddled brain caught up with the sight in front of him then. And he blushed and turned away, turning his attention to the drink.
"Come on, let's go." Kimblee turned to Riza. He was so tired of this entire day that all he wanted was to go to sleep or just lie down.
"Yes, let's go home!"
Kimblee hearing Riza Hawkeye refer to his apartment as her home shouldn't have done the things it did to him.
Roy Mustang choked on his drink when his brain caught up with that slip up.
Riza woke up with a mouthful of hair. She spat it out and heard a whine. One of her arms was lugged over the offended individual. They were haphazardly half-dressed in some in-between where Riza definitely knew nothing sexual had happened but that the heat demanded they stripped. This wasn't like Ishval where the nights were absurdly cold and necessitated someone else to keep warm.
This was Central City where the nights were only slightly less hot than the days.
"Mhmm." Riza complained.
"Eh?" Kimblee replied.
They continued making inarticulate noises at one another until they were forced into waking up properly.
"When is your train?" Kimblee asked as he tried stretching himself out. If they both remembered correctly the reason why the guest bedroom was completely untouched was because Kimblee had tried putting the covers on, failed miserably in his drunken stupor, and just said that they could share his bed.
Riza said the time of her train's departure.
Kimblee took out his pocket watch from his jacket's pocket and looked at it. He blinked the remnants of sleep away and hurried to the kitchen. "You aren't leaving empty handed!"
Riza didn't stop him. What could she say, she loved seeing a man cook for her. Also, Kimblee, what with having unfortunately needed to stop going to delis and learn to cook, had become rather proficient at it.
On the train back to East City, Edward complained about the heat of the hotel and then asked Roy and Riza how they'd managed. The adults felt slightly bad for forgetting their youngest team member.
"Ugh." Edward caught on. "I'll go rent my own hotel room next time."
"Did Kimblee make you anything to eat?" Roy needled.
Riza nodded. "Of course he did. Did Gracia feed you?"
"Of course she did, who do you take the Hughes family for?"
"You guys ate?" Edward complained, his stomach churning.
Both Riza and Roy began rummaging about their bags for food. Remembering their youngest team member. "I've got a chicken sandwich?"
"The Hughes are lacking, I see. Kimblee packed me a three course meal. I even got antipasta."
"Was it food near the expiration date?"
"Yes, but I have more than you. Look. I have a seasonal variety of whole fruits as dessert even"
"I got candy they didn't want Elicia to get into."
"Well, I got soup." Riza took out a thermos.
"Okay I've been beat." Roy conceded defeat.
Or did he?
He took out Gracia's world-changing pie. "Feast your eyes!"
Edward was just taking what he wanted as he let the adults around him outfood one another.