Chapter Text
I am Sayo Iguana. You may admire me.
Gaze upon my scales, for they are the greenest of scales. Behold my spines, for they are the best orange you shall find. Contemplate my dewlap, the flap which is most large and excellent for the sun. Survey my claws, which find the tastiest fruits and the tallest trees.
I am the most excellent creature you shall find. There are none like me here, and that is good because I am Sayo Iguana and other iguanas would not be me.
I have a very fine house that you can see. It is large and gives me much room for being the best iguana in. It has many fine places for me to be excellent, and I am excellent everywhere. See the large garden, full of many things that I bite with my biting mouth, and climb with my climbing claws. Observe the rafters on which I patrol the many places. Notice the doors that I do not notice for they are only doors and I am Sayo Iguana, the most iguana to ever be. Peruse the good bathhouse with its warm tiles that I warm my many parts on.
This house that is my house and is very fine was once the house of Saya Dorn. She was a good person for a person who was not an iguana. She is gone now and she left this house in my care. I protect this house and I keep it for myself. I am Sayo Iguana of this house. I call this house Sayo Iguana's House for I am the iguana who is Sayo Iguana and it is the house that is my house.
Saya Dorn was fine company and she had magic that made the air taste of magic. Her magic tasted fizzy like an apple that a clever iguana had hidden for his own biting where nobody could find it. That iguana found it a month later and had a very nice day, but not a good day for climbing. I am the clever iguana who had a nice day, because I am clever and the iguana.
There have been other people coming into Sayo Iguana's House, but I have let them do this because they are respecting my house. My house's floors are now clean and smooth and my house's walls are dry and white.
They have not seen me when they come because they are not iguanas and I am an iguana. I hide from them most sneakily. Sometimes I hide in the rafters of the house which is my house, and watch them do their work. Other times they wished to come into the rafters to make them cleaner and good for me, and so I did not hide in the rafters for that would not be hiding. On those days I roam my garden, biting the many things that are for me to bite and climbing the many things that are for me to climb.
I watch these people that come into the house that is my house carefully to make sure they are not doing things they should not. I also watch Sayo Galah carefully. He is a bird who is large and likes the trees which are my trees. Sayo Galah knows that these trees are my trees, but sometimes he does not respect them. On these days I chase him away and sit on top of the trees that are my trees, being an excellent iguana and warm in the sun.
Most days, Sayo Galah eats the seeds from the grass underneath my trees and makes many noises. He makes very loud noises from his big pink body and flaps around with his big grey wings. I do not do these things because I am an iguana and he is a bird.
Today I met somebody new who I had not met before today. I was sitting in the bathhouse of my house, warming myself upon its shiny tiles and thinking about having a swim in its clean waters. I had an argument with Sayo Galah this morning and I was basking on the bathhouse's warm tiles to celebrate. He had made many squawking bird noises and I had made no noises but I had glared at him. He knows who is the iguana, and it is me who is the iguana.
The person who I met today was very tall, and he had magic around him that was very warm. I decided to like him because his magic felt like sitting somewhere warm and being warm. His eyes were very gold, which most people do not have. They were not as good eyes as my eyes, but they are very interesting for someone who is not an iguana.
His eyes which were very yellow eyes stared straight into my eyes which are excellent iguana eyes. He did not move. I think he was there to show his respects to Sayo Iguana, which is good because I am Sayo Iguana and I like being shown respects. I watched him for a long time and he did not blink, which was good. If he had blinked I would have gotten up to very fast mischief of the sort he was not ready for, because I am a very fast iguana.
I liked his magic which was warm magic, and I decided that it was as good to bask in as a good spot in the sun. I treated his magic like a warm spot in the sun that also came with someone giving me respectful attention. I liked that.
A little while later another person came in. At first I thought he did not taste of magic, but actually he tasted of Sayo Warm Magic's magic. That probably means something but I do not know the thing that it means. They said some nice things about Sayo Iguana to each other, which is correct. I have not yet decided what to call the second person, because Sayo Warm Magic's Magic is a silly name and I am a very sensible iguana. He will have a name some day.
Actually, I think Sayo Warm Magic said his name. Apparently his name is Sayo Dear Kip. That is a more sensible name, so I will call him that.
Sayo Dear Kip left not too long after, and I was left with the warm magic of Sayo Warm Magic. His magic was warm, and I continued to enjoy it. I did not blink, because I am an iguana and above such concerns. He also did not blink, because he was caught up in the sight of a very excellent iguana. I am the very excellent iguana.
Sayo Warm Magic has a very impressive ability to stand still and not blink. Some day I might consider him an honorary iguana. He is warm and would be good to keep. I will not tell you which of us looked away first because I am an iguana and he is almost an iguana.
When we decided that we were not going to be looking at each other any more, I made my sneaky climbing way into the rafters of Sayo Iguana's House that is my house, because I was satisfied with my amount of warm basking for the day, and had already defeated Sayo Galah in an argument by being a clever iguana. He left while making some pretty noises that were interesting.
Sayo Galah is being a problem which is a problem that annoys me. Today he has claimed the highest spot of the finest tree in the garden which is my garden and the garden of my house. That tree is the tree that has the best fruit for my biting, and Sayo Galah has taken the spot I wish to sit upon to bite these fruit.
I do not bite Sayo Galah because he is a bird and made of feathers, even if he is brightly coloured like a fruit that is made of fruit. I do not want to bite feathers because feathers are not good for biting.
I watched Sayo Galah biting with his bird beak the fruit that are for my biting with my iguana mouth. While he was biting with his bird beak he dropped a fruit on the ground. I do not know if he was trying to throw it at me in a violence, or drop it for me in a peace offerings. I bit it with my biting mouth. If he was throwing it at me, I bite it to show that I am a strong iguana who is large. If he was offering it to me, I bite it to show that I am a kind iguana who is very green and scaled.
I am a busy iguana with many places to be busy and an iguana in, but today I am busy being an iguana at Sayo Galah who is not an iguana but is in a place he should not be.
I patrol the rafters of my house, and I find the people who are in the house that is my house. It seems to me that there are five people who have decided that they live in my house. I have already met Sayo Warm Magic and Sayo Dear Kip. I do not know the other three yet, so I am watching them.
Sayo Warm Magic and Sayo Dear Kip seem like the sort of people who will respect Sayo Iguana's House, but I do not know about the others yet. I will make sure they behave or there will be mischief that they are not ready for. I am a very fast iguana and I cause the best mischief.
At the moment they are talking about me. That is good, if they are respectful of me. I have decided to like the one that they are calling Sayo Conju, he has nice things to say about my devotion to Saya Dorn with her tingly magic.
Another one of them has bright gold handprints on his arms. They were calling him Ludvic but I think that Sayo Handprints is actually his name. He did not have much to say about me at this point because he has not seen me because I am the most sneaky iguana, as I sneak about most sneakily.
But when they were finished talking about how excellent I am, the one that is apparently Sayo Rhodin began talking about getting food for me. I immediately love Sayo Rhodin and will need to think of a better name for him. I moved out of my sneaky place of hiding sneakily among the rafters and placed myself upon their table.
They admired my fine scales. They were correct to do so.
All five of my new house guests began to discuss the best things to be feeding me. They do not know very much about iguanas but they have decided that they need to learn more about iguanas. That is good. I will accept the things for biting that they offer me, and worry less about Sayo Galah - though I will still need to keep Sayo Galah in line because he should not be in the places that are mine and being disrespectful.
Today I learned that they have decided that my name is My Lord the Iguana instead of Sayo Iguana. That is not my name, but is acceptable to me because it shows respect. I will let them call me My Lord the Iguana while they enjoy the house that is my house.
Some hours later, they returned with a great many things which are for my biting. I approve of this.