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“Are you in love, hyung?”
Jimin’s voice breaks through the calm silence that had settled between them. The question catches Yoongi off guard; when Jimin had asked to meet him on the roof of his apartment building, he hadn’t expected Jimin to want to talk about Yoongi’s love life. Judging by how nervous he had looked when Yoongi arrived, Yoongi had thought Jimin needed to tell him something important, or ask for advice on something that had been bothering him. After all, the roof was a place they met often to have serious conversations, something about the dark night air making them feel comfortable enough to spill out their innermost thoughts with ease. Nonetheless, Yoongi takes a moment to think Jimin’s question over.
‘Yes,’ he wants to say. ‘With you.’ But Yoongi knows he shouldn’t. Can’t.
“Love is overrated,” he huffs instead. His breath, visible in the cool fall air, swirls in front of him as he speaks.
“You think so?” Jimin inquires from beside him.
“Yeah, I mean, it’s kind of a bitch.” ‘Because you don’t love me back.’ Yoongi looks over at the other boy when he doesn’t hear a response. Jimin’s there leaning against the railing, his face washed in pale moonlight and his eyes sparkling with the many city lights shining brightly before him. He seems to be thinking hard about something. “You don’t think so?”
“No.” Jimin turns to look Yoongi in the eyes. “I think love is beautiful.” Yoongi flushes and quickly looks away.
“Oh, well, I don’t mean it’s bad. It’s… nice, I guess. I just mean…” he scrambles to find the right words. “You can fall in love with someone and it’s great at first... but unless they love you back, you only get hurt in the end.”
“Speaking from experience?” Jimin teases with a giggle.
“Too much of it,” Yoongi mutters. Jimin hums and nods.
“That’s true. But maybe that’s the fun in it. Like an emotional Russian roulette game. You don’t know if you’re gonna walk out fine or wounded.”
“I’d much rather skip the game entirely to ensure my safety.” Yoongi sighs then looks over at Jimin again. “But somehow I ended up playing anyway.”
“So you are in love.”
“Against my will, yeah.” Jimin looks back out at the city, soft smile pulling at the corners of his lips.
“I’m in love too.” Yoongi ignores the way his heart sinks a little at those words.
“And you like it?” The other boy shrugs.
“I like the way he makes me feel. Happy… safe… special. He’s a really great guy.” Yoongi nods softly in understanding. Jimin makes him feel the same way.
“Do I know him?” Yoongi finds himself asking after a moment. He’s not quite sure what answer he wants to hear, if he wants to hear one at all, that is. Jimin chuckles as he stares down at the street below them.
“Yeah. You do.” Silence falls between them again. One full of thought and unspoken words. Yoongi focuses on the sound of passing cars and the feeling of the wind on his face as he tries to push away any jealousy he feels for the mystery man that won Jimin’s love.
“I think it may be my turn,” Jimin speaks up. “To make a move, pull the trigger.” Yoongi’s chest tightens.
“You mean like, confess?” Jimin nods. “You’re not scared of your feelings not being returned?”
“Oh, I’m terrified. I mean, I could just be reading signals wrong and I’ll just end up making a fool of myself.” Jimin pauses, looks Yoongi in the eyes. “But it’s worth the risk, isn’t it? What if I end up winning the game instead?”
“What if you end up dead?” Jimin shrugs.
“I’ll never know until I shoot my shot.” Jimin giggles at his pun, and Yoongi feels a familiar warmth spread in his chest at the beautiful sound, releasing the tightness. “Maybe it’s your turn too.” Yoongi quickly shakes his head.
“I’ll pass. I think the game is rigged against me. The gun pointed at my heart is fully loaded so that no matter what I’m gonna get hurt.”
“Oh don’t be so negative.” Jimin playfully bumps his shoulder against Yoongi’s. “You may just as well have an empty gun. But you have to pull the trigger to find out, don’t you?”
“I guess...”
“Sooo, let’s pull it. The both of us. And see what happens.” Yoongi takes a moment to look at Jimin, soak in every delicate detail of his face that he loves so much. Like his nose that always seems to shine, or his cheeks that are permanently dusted pink. His soft brown eyes that shine with love for anyone and anything they see. Pink lips that when curled into a smile can light up the darkest night. Yoongi loves all of it. He loves Jimin.
“Okay,” he agrees softly, left breathless from how beautiful Jimin looks under the stars. Jimin smiles up at him, then looks away with a hint of shyness. He stares back out at the city, but Yoongi can only focus on him.
Jimin was right. He should tell him how he feels. It’s been three years since his feelings developed, and for three years all he’s done is wish, long, and hope. It was about time he made a move.
So, he picks up the gun of love, gives the revolver a spin.
“Hey Jimin…” He turns off the safety and aims the gun at his heart. “I have something to tell you.” And with one last deep breath, he pulls the trigger. “I’m in love with you.”
Yoongi prepares to feel pain, waits for his heart to bleed out and leave him too weak to stand. But nothing happens, and for a long moment, everything is still.
But then Jimin blinks, like he’s only now registering what Yoongi said. And by the way his eyes light up and the smile that spreads across his face, Yoongi can tell that he has won the game.