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Adrien struggled to break free of the crowd of screaming people that ran from the school fair as the tall green monster, howling in grief and deadly accurate with a slingshot, wreaked havoc in the park.
“Great! I finally get to participate in something I want to do with my friends and Hawkmoth has to ruin it,” he thought, grunting as he was elbowed in the side by a panicked fairgoer. “It’s bad enough my father messes with my social life, but Hawkmoth too? He’s the one who needs to get a life! Ugh! When I get my hands on him, I’ll feed him to Plagg!”
Finally managing to force his way through the throng, Adrien ducked behind one of the tents to transform. Cat returned to the fairway to help any stragglers when he saw a young man get hit by one the the pebbles launched but the akuma that was calling itself Mediogre. He stopped, dead in his tracks, and sank to a fetal position on the ground. He didn’t even seem to be aware of the crowd that could so easily trample him.
Cat leaped into the crowd, scooped the young man up and deposited him out of harm’s way, the victim muttering “stupid stupid stupid’ under his breath in a voice cracked with trauma.
“What is he doing to people,” he wondered. He couldn’t wait for Ladybug to show up so they could limit this akuma's impact on people. The sooner her bugs fixed everything the less these people would suffer.
His eyes scanned the area, looking for anything that could be used to slow Mediogre down or could help disarm him, when he saw her. Marinette was carrying Manon, trying to get the little girl away from the monster, but she was at the back of the crowd and her bright pink dress was like a beacon. His heart hammered at seeing her so exposed and in the line of fire. Suddenly, down she went, undoubtedly tripping over something dropped in the exodus. Manon rolled out of her arms.
“Keep running,” she cried to the girl. “I’ll be right behind you!” With a frightened look behind her, Manon ran off.
But Marinette’s warning and pink dress splashed across the clear path left her a perfect target for the pebbles launched from the monster. Cat’s body acted before his mind caught up, dashing across the open space and scooping her up in his arms.
Marinette clung to his neck as he ran for the fence, her head over his shoulder, her body tense in his hold. “Cat, just put me down! I’ll be fine! You need to go!“
“Not until you’re out of this, Princess.” Marinette couldn’t be hurt. He wouldn’t let her. She meant too much to him. He refused to even think about it lest it paralyze him.
“Oh for - Cat! Down!” Her voice cut off with a grunt as she somehow hooked her foot into his belt and pushed, throwing him off his stride and sending him pitching forward. Instinctively, he rolled to protect her from the impact, but she splayed over him, trapping him underneath her just as the akuma’s pebble hit her in the back.
“Marinette!”
It was almost as if he could feel her curl in on herself. She trembled in his arms, sobs wracking her small frame. With a stab of fear, he rolled her dead weight off him and hefted her into his arms once more. He leaped over the park’s fence and raced down the streets at top speed, looking for somewhere safe to hide so he could check Marinette for injuries. Spying a movie theatre up ahead he dashed through the doors, finding the lobby deserted.
Cat hid them behind the snack counter and set her down, but she immediately tucked her knees up to her chin, leaving only her eyes exposed - wide, wet, and unseeing. She whimpered like a frightened animal and rocked back and forth in a way that made him want to strangle Hawkmoth personally and force feed him every last one of his blasted butterflies.
“Marinette,” he whispered, rubbing her back and trying to soothe her. “Talk to me, Princess! Are you hurt anywhere? I need to know you’re okay!”
“I failed,” she moaned through a throat thick with anguish. “I failed everyone. He should have never given them to me. I ruin everything. I failed and hurt Cat. I just want him safe and it was all my fault. I failed Adrien, always too afraid to tell him I love him when I know he needs to know. Too scared he would reject me. Lila… Chloe… they’re right. I’m just a worthless, little, nobody who shouldn’t be trusted with a miraculous. I couldn’t be there for Luka. I couldn’t stop my family… my friends…. I couldn’t keep them safe. Timelines in flux and having to erase my name to fix a broken world. I’m unworthy! I never was! Unworthy of being a hero. Unworthy of peace. Unworthy of being loved. No wonder! I don’t deserve-“
Tears sprang to Cat’s eyes. He couldn’t take this. Pulling her roughly against him, he cradled her against his chest and willed himself to purr. True, he had done it before, but never on command and only when Ladybug had slammed into him or Marinette had played with his hair a few times when he had come over to visit her on her balcony. When it came, the purr was more of a soft, dry rattle than a true, deep vibration, but he hoped it would be soothing to her.
He couldn’t stand to hear Marinette, his princess, the most kind, thoughtful, caring person in the world, tear herself down like this. He knew those thoughts. He struggled with them every day, wondering if he would ever be good enough, worthy of earning his father’s love and attention, of being friends with Kagami, Nino, Alya, Marinette, and Ladybug. Wondering if he was ever going to be worthy of being loved. But for an akuma sent by a deranged madman, who clearly never knew what love really was, could send the girl who spread the most love herself into that sort of emotional tailspin? It filled him with an anger so visceral that he could almost feel his senses sharpening for the hunt, claws ready to tear. He could even feel Plagg for the first time while transformed and the kwami was angry. A spitting, hissing, volcanic anger that swept through them both like a lava flow. Their thoughts were in accord.
~ NO ONE HURTS OUR PRINCESS! ~
Cat struggled to pull himself back from that tide of ferocious energy and the urge to hunt down the one responsible for her pain. He couldn’t leave her here like this and that anger, while useful for fighting akumas and Hawkmoth, was not what Marinette needed.
“It’s okay, Princess,” he said as steadily as he could with the rage and the attempt to purr at war in his chest. “I’m here. Kitty’s here. You’re safe and none of the things you are thinking are true. It is just the akuma. You are worthy of everything good in this world, Marinette! You are sweet and kind and caring and compassionate. You spread love and sunshine wherever you go! You’re my hero, Princess, and you deserve to be loved. Everyone does, but you most of all! Loved big and loud and soft and small and every other way there is to be loved in this world.”
She just lay there, weeping in his arms like a child in the throws of a night terror. Marinette had said she loved Adrien, hadn’t been able to tell him how she felt. Somehow, she knew he desperately needed to feel loved but was still too afraid to tell him. She loved him so much that she really saw him for who he was. She couldn’t find the words, but she did her best to be there for him however she could. The tears were pouring from his eyes now. If he had known, he would have told her sooner… because he had been afraid too. Afraid of being unworthy of her. Afraid of rejection.
Taking her face in his clawed hands Cat made her look up at him. “I love you, Marinette! You really see me! You always have. You have a heart big enough to hold everyone and all I want to do is hold you and make all of the pain go away. I want to keep you safe, but to do that I need you. I need you to be okay so that I can go fight the akuma, but I won’t leave until I know you’re okay.”
She couldn’t hear him. She just stared right through him, her sky-blue eyes dark wells of self-destruction. How could he help her if she couldn't see, hear or feel him? What should he do?
He knew what Ladybug would say. “Go to the source. Defeat the akuma and that will fix everything else.” But he knew the pain Marinette’s thoughts were bringing her and he couldn’t bring himself to abandon her in her condition. “She could hurt herself or someone else could hurt her and she couldn’t defend herself. She wouldn’t even want to right now, would she? She would be convinced she deserved it!” Cat growled deep in his chest as he held her close, afraid that leaving would mean he would lose her. He had never hated Hawkmoth more than at that moment.
His mind raced back through the various videos and pictures he had seen on the news or the Ladyblog of when he had been turned by an akuma. Most of the time it took cleansing the akuma and the ladybug cure to bring him back to himself, but there had been one time when Ladybug had had to kiss him to save him from Dark Cupid. He still didn’t know the full story of that kiss, but he had a theory after he had learned about it. They were dealing with magic in the fairy tale sense and the only thing strong enough to break any curse in fairy tales was True Love’s Kiss. He had been nearly giddy at the prospect and had talked Plagg’s ears off about it for weeks after the interview that had lead up to the fight with Prime Queen, sure that it meant he and Ladybug were each other’s true loves.
But so many things had changed in the last year. Ladybug pushing Cat away in favor of other holders. Finding out she had broken her own rules and let Nino and Alya stay superheroes after their identities were revealed to each other. There was that day she threw him into a trashcan, him becoming Catwalker, and that terrible day when they battled the giant senti-monsters and the risk akuma and he saw just how broken Ladybug had become by her responsibilities and his cousin’s betrayal. How she had fallen apart in his bedroom, spiraling into a panic attack while he was stuck as Adrien and he wore a nearly identical face to the one who had sold her out to their enemy. But, probably the most impactful for him had been how Marinette had seen how unhappy he was at being forced to leave Paris. She had urged him to talk to his father, despite probably being under the influence of Risk herself that day. She had cared about him enough, loved him enough, to put her own issues aside for his sake.
Maybe that was the day he had started falling for her or, maybe, Plagg had been right and it had started back on his second day of school when he handed her his umbrella. Either way, while he still held a special place in his heart for his partner, things were still strained between them and his heart had started to shift over the last several months of visiting Marinette as Cat Noir. Where he had fallen for Ladybug in a day, he had been easing into loving Marinette for years.
If he loved her and she loved him… would it work?
Taking her face in his hands once more, he whispered, “I hope you can hear me, Princess. I should ask for permission, but I think you’ll understand. Please come back to me! I need you safe!” He pulled her into a kiss and he felt her eyes close. Her lips were cold and hard against his, but he tried to pour all of his love, gratitude, friendship, and need into her through the contact.
Adrien did need her. He needed her to wake from her nightmare, to cure the ache of fear and loneliness in his chest. He needed her warmth, her smile, her laugh, the way she would roll her eyes at his jokes, the way she would blush and stammer at him at school, the way she would put aside her worries and fears to help others in their time of need, how small and warm her hand had felt in his the day he needed her most. He needed her to help him now. He couldn’t do this without her. He didn’t want to.
Slowly, her lips softened under his and she kissed him back. Heat flooded his system like a wave of sparklers, burning and fizzing to his fingertips. Marinette sighed and leaned into the kiss more, her hands running up to hold his face. Her thumbs caressed the edge of his mask and he knew he had to pull away, even though he wanted to freeze this moment in time forever.
But Ladybug needed him and Marinette loved Adrien, not Cat Noir. He sighed and pulled away.
Marinette slowly opened her eyes and she fell off his lap in surprise as her hands came up to hide her suddenly burning cheeks.
“C-c-cat! Wh-what… wh-where… were we…,” she stammered, completely unable to formulate a sentence. If it had been a different situation, Cat would have preened a little, but this was Marinette… Multimouse…
She deserved the truth.
“It’s okay, Marinette,” he said soothingly, his hands out to his sides to give her plenty of space. “You got hit by the akuma. It sent you into a…nasty depression. I got you out of there are brought you here.”
“B-but you … and me… we were…”
“Hehe, kissing. Yeah.” He couldn’t help rubbing the back of his neck as his whole face flushed. “I tried to get you out of it. I tried talking to you, but you didn’t seem to see or hear me. All you could do was cry and talk about how you failed everyone and you didn’t deserve to hold a miraculous or be loved or anything. I… I couldn’t just leave you alone with that churning around in your head. I had to keep you safe, Princess. Then I remembered that once Ladybug had to kiss me to reverse a curse from an akuma too. It was the only thing I could think of. I would have asked permission, but you weren’t responding to me. I’m… sorry.”
He couldn’t help but feel defeated. Had he ruined any chance of being with her by kissing her like this? Had he ruined her friendship with Cat?
She threw her arms around his neck. “Thank you for not giving up on me, Kitty.”
He sighed in relief as he returned the hug. “You are so important to so many people, Marinette! I know I’m just a drop in the bucket compared to everyone who cares about you, but I would never want to see you like that again! I never want to see you cry like that again. You are beautiful and kind and brave and sweet and the best princess I could ever have. The only one I ever want!” He released her long enough to cradle her face one last time. “You are a true treasure, Marinette. I don’t ever want to lose you!”
“I’m okay now, Kitty. I promise! Thank you so much for saving me.”
“I will always save you, Princess. Always.”
“I know,” she whispered, wiping away a tear he hadn’t realized had fallen to his cheek. “You… you had better go. Ladybug is waiting for you.”
He nodded and, greatly daring, pressed a firm kiss to her forehead. “Be safe, Marinette. For me?”
“I’ll do my best.” He tore himself away from her then, wrapping his hand around his baton to keep from reaching for her once more. He steeled himself to not look back as he ran out the door.
And if the Black Cat of Paris was a bit more dedicated to defeating this particular akuma, then all the better.
It meant he could get back to his princess all the sooner.