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Everything about them felt new.
Maybe Bonnie was secretly a sap for thinking about that. Maybe everything else was what was new – the Candy Kingdom and her allies rebuilding after Glb, the appearance of Simon, the disappearance of the Ice King. Everything was slow progress, but novel, fresh like spring after a hard winter.
Or maybe, this was just new.
Their relationship was a tentative thing, neither of them keen on bending it too much, lest it break. They were both aware of what had happened last time, when they had been only two hundred years old, still young and foolish enough to believe love was all it took to build something up. They were willing to take it slow, this time, let the flowers bloom at their own pace.
This – Bonnie’s love for Mareline, and Marceline’s maybe-love for Bonnie – wasn’t new, but it felt like it. They were different people now, after years of growing up and maturing.
It was renewal, Bonnie figured.
“You are a sap,” was Marceline’s verdict, a teasing smile on her face, “And you think way too much.”
“And you don’t think enough,” Bonnie quipped back.
“Why would I? I'm a badass.”
Fondly, Bonnie said, “That’s true.”
Marceline looked surprised, which stung. Bonnie had never been this nice before, had she. Only the pretenses of it – something vile masquerading in the shape of too-sweet candy. Still, Bonnie pushed past her bout of self-loathing, because she was never going to make the mistake of not showering Marceline with compliments ever again.
“And anyway,” Marceline said, recovering quickly, “You think enough for the both of us.”
It seemed Marceline had the same idea as Bonnie, because that caught her off-guard.
It was all so new . This love that wasn’t afraid, this kindness that was too real. Bonnie wanted to keep it forever, away from a world that she knew would want to keep them apart.
“By the way,” Marceline said, strumming her base absentmindedly, “I was thinking of telling Simon. About us.”
“Oh,” Bonnie felt something turn in her, “Yes. Sure.”
Marceline peered at her, another reminded that not only had Bonnie hadn’t been the only one to grow up, “Only if you’re okay with it. I know you want to take this slow.”
“I’m okay with it,” Bonnie said immediately, because she knew how much Simon meant to Marceline, “But … just Simon?”
“Just Simon,” Marceline agreed.
Bonnie knew they’d have to tell their friends eventually. Her people would find out as well. Marceline wasn’t even trying to hide it from Simon anyway, with the man living with her now. And Peppermint Butler practically already knew.
She should tell Finn.
A ball of anxiety tightened in Bonnie’s stomach, but she chalked it off to being nervous about the novelty of it all. Even having friends to tell this time was uncharted waters.
Bonnie had really been a character back in the day, huh?
She was learning though. She had promised herself that she would.
(But was she learning enough? Was she really being a better person? Bonnie was a scientist, but this science of growth had such ill-defined parameters.)
“I’ll tell Lady,” Bonnie decided on the spot, “She’s my best friend.”
Marceline beamed at her, and the world was new and bright.
The list of people who knew went up. Neddy (who had been the first), Simon, Pepbut, Lady, Jake (who found out when Lady accidentally slipped up, but swore not to tell anyone else). Five people.
“I won’t lie,” Marceline said, squeezing her hand as they walked through fires of the Flame Kingdom, “I don’t really get why you’re being secretive.”
“It’s just new,” Bonnie said, “And I don’t want to … surprise anyone until we’re sure.”
Marceline's face fell a little, but she recovered quickly, “Are you not sure?”
“No I am!” stupid Bonnie , she chided herself, “I’m sure. It’s just, you know, last time –”
Marceline grimaced, “That was a mess. I’m really sorry about that.”
“I am too,” Bonnie said quietly, “So much. I keep thinking about how much would have been easier if I just held on to you longer.”
“It was a good thing. We were bad for each other back then,” Marceline hummed, arm slipping around Bonnie’s waste as they came upon the palace doors, “But you have me now, sugar.”
Bonnie gagged, “Sugar? Really.”
“Aw, I’m just trying to be a sweet girlfriend.”
“You’re such a dork.”
“Your dork.”
Bonnie laughed, rolling her eyes. They came upon the Flame Princess’ palace and waited to be let in.
“Hey, Princess Bubblegum,” Cinnamon Bun greeted, “FP’s this way … hang on a second …” he looked between the two of them, “Are you guys dating?”
Bonnie smiled.
With Cinnamon Bun and Phoebe, the count went up to seven.
“Now I’m not as smart as you …”
“You’re plenty smart,” Bonnie said automatically.
“Not as smart as my big brained girlfriend,” Marceline grinned.
Bonnie touched her own head, scandalised, “Is my head big?”
“Huge,” her girlfriend replied flippantly, pulling Bonnie’s hand away from her head and cradling it, “Anyway, as I was saying. I’m not as smart as you, but I’m starting to think I get why you’re keeping our relationship a secret.”
Bonnie turned in their bed so that they were facing each other.
“Not a secret,” Bonnie mumbled, “Just taking it slow. Only letting people who need to know know, you know?”
Marceline leveled her with a stern look, “Which is why Lemongrab of all people know, but Finn doesn’t?”
Bonnie cringed.
Other than Bonnie’s science junk, she was a fool. This meant that she naturally had fallen for the smartest, coolest, most empathetic person she knew. And while usually she was too blinded by love to see how this did not serve her well , she saw that now.
Marceline was too glob-damn smart.
“I found you out!” Marceline said triumphantly, “Honestly thought I was grasping at straws for a hot sec. Why are you avoiding Finn?”
“I’m not avoiding him, per se,” Bonnie defended, “He used to be in love with me, you know? It’s pretty weird.”
Marceline gave her a look, “Bonnie.”
Right. Yes. Bonnie was not supposed to be blaming other people for her problems anymore. And pretty much everyone who knew Finn would attest to him being a really chill dude.
“Okay, so, I’ve hurt him in the past,” Bonnie tried again, “And I’m afraid of hurting him again! I will tell him, just … gently.”
Marceline sighed, fingers running through Bonnie’s hair as they moved closer together, “I don’t think you have to worry about that.”
“Yeah,” Bonnie gulped, “I’ll tell him.”
Another thing that was new about the world these days:
Bonnie and Finn hadn’t hung out since Golb.
When Finn had been insistent that there didn’t need to be a war between Bonnie and Gumbald, she’d had to take a moment to stop and be extremely proud of her friend. Finn had come a long way since the days where he would punch first and ask questions later, if at all.
She hadn’t gotten a chance to tell him that though, so maybe she would start with that.
She knows that Finn had lost Fern in the war, and that the Treehouse had been destroyed. In fact, Finn had once asked Marceline if she knew any good places to build another home, though Bonnie had ducked out before she could hear the rest of that conversation.
She could ask him about that, probably.
Trying to find a conversation topic was weirdly hard, despite the fact that this was, well, Finn .
And that was the problem, she supposed. This was Finn. And after Marceline, and maybe Lemongrab, this was the person she had hurt the most.
“Overthinking again,” Marceline poked her in the ribs.
“Trying to find a conversation starter,” Bonnie said drily, “Should I go with the Gumbald war or the Golb war?”
“Ask him about this sandwich,” Marceline said, handing her a sandwich.
She was pushed by her girlfriend towards the direction where Finn was hanging out with Jake and Lady. Hot Dog Princess had decided to throw a party for some reason or the other and of course, Marceline thought it was the best place for Bonnie to talk to Finn.
Either that or crashing at his new cave, Marceline said. Bonnibel had finally agreed to going to the party, as long as we keep the PDA to the minimum.
She wanted to be the one to tell Finn, not have him find out through his scarily accurate perceptiveness.
She marched up to Finn and held up the sandwich. Distantly, she wondered if it might have seemed vaguely threatening to see someone stomp over to you and wave lettuce in your face.
“Hey, PB,” Finn said, unbothered by the fact that the cheese from the sandwich hit him in the face, “Nice sandwich.”
“You want it?”
“This is vaguely threatening,” Finn laughed, confirming her suspicions, “But thanks?”
He ate the sandwich in one bite, which was as impressive as it was gross. Lady gave Bonnie a look that told her the rainicorn knew what she was up to.
“ Jake, lets go get some punch, ” came the familiar Korean as Lady led Jake away, leaving Bonnie and Finn alone.
Finn smiled at her, “So how’s it going PB?”
His smiles always came so easily. That was just who he was – trusting and empathetic and a moral compass like no other, all things refined with time. And Bonnie had used that, hadn’t she? Played into his admiration of her to get him to go on quests and errands and life-threatening Linch-fights –
Fern’s dead . Finn could’ve been in his place instead.
“I need to talk to you,” she blurted out.
The smile slipped off his face, “Okay … do you want to go somewhere else?”
Bonnie nodded hastily, feeling tongue twisted for some reason.
They walked a little ways from the party, to a cliff overlooking the Hot Dog Kingdom (small as it was). Finn sat down, patting the seat beside him expectantly. His legs were swinging over the edge, his entire body relaxed like this was just a conversation between friends.
Which it was.
You’re thinking too much again , Marceline’s voice sounded in her head, soft and teasing, You’ve got this Bonnie .
In one abrupt motion, Bonnie sat down next to Finn, legs folded under her.
“I want to apologise,” were the first words out of her mouth.
She hadn’t even known she wanted to say that.
And it was a testament to the two of them when Finn didn’t ask what for and instead said, “Go on …”
This had been easier with Marceline, but that was different. Marceline had said sorry almost as much as Bonnie had, because that’s what you do when you were both mutually donked up teenagers learning to grow up in a world where you had no one but each other. Marceline had held her hand as she cried and she had hugged Marceline as the vampire stuttered, because that’s what you do when you were both in love and trying to figure out how to show it.
Apologies were new to Bonnie. She was too used to people following her orders, too used to not doing anything that could be perceived as a mistake. She was too used to Finn looking up to her.
We weren’t good for each other, back then , Marceline had said. Bonnie wondered if she’d been good for anyone, ever.
“Bonnie?” Finn asked.
“I’m sorry,” she said lamely, “For – when you were younger, I used to kind of – well, I figure that you liked me, so I used that to get you to agree to quests and stuff for the Kingdom,” she can’t bear to look at him, “I didn’t know you liked liked me, of course. I just, I don’t know, it was stupid okay? I’m needed control over the Hero of Ooo or whatever and –”
Bonnie buried her face in her hands. Saying it out loud sounded so, so messed up. She had been worse than she had thought.
“Which was what it was about, wasn’t it?” she continued, half hysterical, “The control. No wonder Cinnamon Bun left and my people chose the King of Ooo over me. I was so obsessed with being in control that it was my own undoing. I hurt so many people because – because I was afraid. I hurt you ,” she took a deep breath, “I shut you out. You were my friend but I never really treated you like one. I’m sorry.”
Finn was quiet. Afraid that he might hate now – which he had every right to, she thought – she chanced a glance up. He was looking at her like he was still trying to process.
“Oh,” he said finally, “That’s heavy stuff.”
She hadn’t realised she was crying until her hands came away from her face wet. She wiped her tears away, steeling herself.
“I was a real dingus to a lot of people, sometimes without meaning to,” she said, “I’m starting to realise that now.”
“So you knew I liked you,” Finn said, “And you used that against me?”
Bonnie nodded, guilt churning her stomach. “Only up until the Flame Princess thing,” she said, “After you said you were … in love with me … I wouldn’t have –”
“Okay,” Finn said suddenly, “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay, I forgive you.”
Bonnie stared at Finn. He shrugged back.
“Wait, really?” Bonnie said, trying to wrap her mind around how simply he seemed to say it, “But – but I hurt you! And, and I always treated you like you weren’t my equal –”
Finn winced, “That’s pretty true, but I was young and dumb then.”
“That’s not an excuse!”
Finn smiled at her, “I forgive you, Bonnie. I have for a long time. You gave me this epic arm after all!” he laughed as he waved his metallic arm around, “It sounds to me like you haven’t forgiven yourself though.”
There’s his scarily accurate perceptiveness, Bonnie thought numbly.
“I’m just a bad person,” she said, trying to explain.
“You’re not a bad person, PB. You’ve just make a lot of dumb decisions because, like you said, you were scared,” Finn knocked on his metal arm, “Been there, done that. Didn’t get a shirt though, just trauma.”
Bonnie burst out laughing, which seemed inappropriate but Finn grinned too so maybe it was alright. Bonnie wouldn’t know what was appropriate anyway.
All of this was so new.
“That’s different,” she persisted after a while.
“I was being selfish, just like you were. I was scared and I was pushing people away. Jake can tell ya how much of a dingus I was.”
Bonnie pulled her feet out from under her and pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around herself.
“Point is, you’re trying,” Finn said quietly, “And you keep trying. Isn’t that all we can do?”
He had grown up when she wasn’t looking. She had grown up while she had been trying to do the same.
She remembered then what she had come to tell him:
“I’m proud of you,” she said, “Like, super proud. I might explode from that pride. Get gum gunk everywhere.”
Finn pulled his hat more snugly over his head, as if protecting his hair, “Would you taste good?”
“Would you eat me? That’s messed up.”
Finn grinned, and bumped his shoulder against hers, “I’m super proud too. And I do love you, just not in that way.”
Bonnie pushed her shoulder against his, “I love you too. Dillweed.”
They sat in companionable silence for a while, allowing themselves to just breathe. The sun had sunk below the horizon long ago, the world lit up in hues of silver and white from starlight. Finn was gazing upwards, seemingly content with just the two of them. Behind them, the afterparty had started in earnest – Phoebe had taken the open mic as an opportunity to rap and it was loud enough for them to hear, even from here.
“So, are you and Marcy dating?” Finn asked abruptly.
Bonnie face-palmed, “That’s what I came here to tell you!”
Finn grinned, “Knew it! LSP owes me a lumpy coal.”
Why had Bonnie thought he’d get upset again? All her previous worries suddenly seemed so trivial.
“I don’t think that’s a thing.”
“What?” Finn yelped, scandalised, “But what did she – darn it LSP! Hang on, I gotta go Peebs.”
“See you later, Finn,” Bonnie laughed.
“I’m holding you to it,” he yelled back, “Don’t go all silent on me again!”
And then he was off, still every bit the adventurous boy who had first saved her all those years ago, but different in so many little ways. It felt like yesterday, compared to the amount of time Bubblegum has spent on Ooo, but looking back, those years with Finn and Jake and the Ice King, and later Marceline and Phoebe and Pepbut and Lemongrab – that had been the first time Bonnie had actually started to change. To even try to.
Finn was right. Bonnie hadn’t forgiven herself. She hadn’t even apologised to half the people she had hurt. She hadn’t apologised to herself either, for all that she’s put herself through.
But there was time. The world was still new.
“So, I take it that it went well,” Marceline said as she approached.
Bonnie pulled her into a kiss, feeling bold. She grinned as Marceline made a small noise of surprise against her lips, before melting.
“I’m done hiding.”
Starting tomorrow, she was going to get those apologies going.
Today, she said, “Let’s invite Finn to our place tonight.”
Our place . Bubbline’s never shared a home with anyone before, but Marceline’s little house felt just as much as hers as the Candy Kingdom did. So much was different now, in a world that had almost fallen apart to Golb. So much had changed. Bonnie had changed.
This was renewal, she figured.