Work Text:
Late May
After Graduation
Maya has been looking into the fire academy since they graduated a month ago but hasn’t ever told Carina. Maya has been so busy with training for London she hasn’t thought a whole lot about it. But she knows she needs to tell Carina soon because she wants to go after she gets back from London.
Maya comes back to the apartment after a long day of training to smell Carina making dinner and her mouth instantly begins to water. She drops her bag at the front door and takes her shoes off walking into the kitchen and wraps her arms around Carina’s waist resting her chin on her shoulder.
“Ciao bella, how was training?” Carina turns the stove down before turning in Maya’s arms to look at her. Carina has been soaking up every small moment like this.
“It was good, I’m not used to training for 8 hours a day yet but I’m sure with time I will be able to handle it. I am starting to shave down my time though which is a good sign, I was at around 32 minutes and I am down to 30 so that’s promising.” Maya says wrapping her arms tighter around Carina’s waist smiling and giving her a slow kiss them both smiling into it.
“I’m glad practice was good; dinner is almost ready. Probably another 15 minutes before we can eat.” Carina says turning back around to focus on dinner once again.
“I also have some sponsor photoshoots coming up which I am dreading 100%, if I could avoid doing these I would.” Maya grumbles as she jumps up onto the counter next to the stove to watch Carina cook.
Carina chuckles and shakes her head; Maya has been complaining about anything that has to do with her sponsorships and she finds it amusing. She is impressed at all of the big companies asking her to represent them.
“They are paying you a large sum of money to go to the Olympics, the least you can do is a few photoshoots,” Carina laughs and looks up at Maya whose face is scrunched up in distaste.
“As my girlfriend aren’t you supposed to be on my side all the time?” Maya asks jokingly trying her best to hold back a smile.
“Yes but I think it’s funny how much you don’t want to do these photoshoots, it’s cute. However, they are flying you to New York to do all of them at once so that is pretty cool. I am also excited to tag along and see New York; I have always wanted to go since I moved here.” Carina says putting the final touches on dinner before serving it.
“I know and I am grateful that I have two of the biggest sponsors, Nike and Coke. I just don’t like the idea of my face plastered on billboards and jumbotrons, most of all in Time square or something like that. My face does not need to be blown up that much, also being in commercials on TV is going to be super weird.” Maya jumps down from the counter and gets down two plates for their pasta and two bowls for their salads.
She sets the table while Carina brings everything over, she sits across the table from Maya and smiles. They both begin to serve themselves and begin eating.
“I don’t know I think it’s going to be kind of cool to see you in commercials and stuff like that.” Caria smiles at the thought of it, she is incredibly proud of Maya and everything she has accomplished in such a short amount of time.
“Can we talk about something else? This is giving me anxiety thinking about all of it,” Maya says starting to get sweaty from anxiety.
Carina nods and smiles at her as she takes a few bites of her salad, “have you figured out what you want to do after the Olympics in terms of a career?”
Maya tenses and freezes knowing this is the perfect moment to broach the subject, she takes and deep breath and nods not looking up at Carina. “I have actually.”
“What are you thinking? I remember you saying something about a marketing job, I think you would be really good at something like that.” Carina says noticing Maya’s body language change she isn’t sure what it’s about exactly.
“Ummm, not really,” Maya looks up at her and decides she can’t dance around the subject she needs to just say it. “I have been talking to Jack and Dean and I think I might want to join the fire academy and become a firefighter.”
Carina freezes and squints her eyes trying to figure out if Maya is being serious or not, she doesn’t think Maya would joke about something like this. This is a big decision for not just her but Carina as well, she knows Maya wouldn’t make the decision lightly.
“How long have you felt like this and wanted to do it?” Carina asks feeling her blood run cold at the thought of Maya putting her life at risk every day as her career.
“A while, most of the year actually. If I am being honest since I got shot my worldview shifted,” Maya says letting go of a breath having just said it out loud even if she can see Carina isn’t too happy about the idea.
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you share how lost you were feeling?” Carina asks not having noticed how much Maya wasn’t happy. How did she not notice any of this was going on?
“Because I didn’t know how. You know what you want to do with your life and I didn’t. I’ve seen you be so excited about your future and I didn’t have that. Not until I thought about becoming a firefighter, once the thought crossed my mind it all made sense. I also knew you would react like this.” Maya says it coming off nastier than she meant it to.
“Like what Maya?” Carina asks defensive from Maya’s words.
“I can see how scared you are but you don’t want to say it. I don’t want you keeping things from me again. I want you to be honest with me about how you feel about this, me doing this isn’t just a decision for me to make. We both need to be on board for this to work. I want you to be involved in the decision too, I know this doesn’t just affect me. It is greatly going to affect you too.” Maya says knowing even though this is her career it’s about more than just her. Carina needs to be on board with it as well, it’s going to affect her just as much as it will Maya.
“Dio Mio, of course, I’m scared Maya! You’re telling me you want to run into burning buildings for a living and risk your life every day. I’m terrified at the thought of it. I’m scared that I’m not going to be here if you get hurt and something goes wrong” Carina is terrified, what if while she is a thousand miles away Maya gets hurt and she isn’t there? What if she can’t get to her for hours and she loses her and doesn’t get to say goodbye? Those thoughts bring her back to that day in the science building, the thought of losing her and not being able to do a damn thing about it.
“Carina I am going to do everything I possibly can to come home after every shift. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I would never do anything in my power to not come home. It’s going to be a while before we have to think of that, I haven’t even applied yet so I might not even get in. I didn’t plan to go until after the Olympics.” Maya says hoping to reassure her in whatever way she can, Maya would never do anything to put herself in danger. She doesn’t want Carina to ever have to come home alone and without her, that’s the last thing she wants.
Carina listens intently and nods knowing Maya was right, she wouldn’t do anything to intentionally put herself in harm’s way if she can help it. It doesn’t change the fact that her heart is currently living in her stomach at the thought of Maya getting badly injured.
“I know you wouldn’t do anything to put yourself in harm’s way bambina, I trust you.”
“But?” Maya asks a little hopeful that Carina is going to get on board with this. This is the first time in a long time that she is excited about something having to do with her future. She can tell by Carina’s body language that something is going through her head and she is hoping she is going to get on board with this.
“But I can tell you want to do this and your mind is set on it, if this is what you really want I will support you.” Carina says taking a deep breath trying to steady her heart rate.
She can see it clear as day how badly Maya wants this and Carina doesn’t think she has ever seen her so excited about her future. The only time she has seen her this excited is when she talks about the Olympics and winning her Gold medal. Carina knows she needs to get on board with this because she knows this is truly what Maya wants to do. Even if it means worrying about her every single day.
“This is what I want and I know you’re scared, which is understandable. But I promise I will be as safe as I can, I won’t ever leave you if I have a say in it.” Maya can see there’s something else Carina wants to say but doesn't know how.
“There’s something else though isn’t there?” Maya asks.
Carina looks down at her half-eaten salad and sighs pushing the contents around the bowl suddenly not hungry anymore. “I can’t do anything if you get hurt, I am helpless and things are out of my control. It just brings me back to that day in the science building where I couldn’t do anything and I felt helpless. I will be across the country worrying every day if you’re okay and that terrifies me.” Carina admits needing to get this out in the open so the this pressure inside her chest doesn’t burst.
Maya watches her and how she never looks up at her, Maya knows how hard that day was on Carina but they never really talked about it at least not in great detail. She knew how much that day affected her and changed their relationship, they have been impossibly close eve since that day. But Carina never really wanted to talk about what happened and Maya respected that. If Carina didn’t want to talk about it then she wouldn’t mention it, but what Carina is saying makes sense. She was in a way helpless and couldn’t do a whole lot and her heart breaks for Carina and what she is about to put her through for the sake of her career.
“I know I can’t promise that I will always come home to you but I promise I will always try my best. But we still have London next month before we need to even think about any of this. We don’t need to worry about this until we have to, okay? Let's just focus on the present.” Maya says reaching across the table and grabbing Carina’s hand.
Carina finally looks up at Maya with tears in her eyes as she gives her a small smile and nods. Maya is right they don't need to worry about this just yet and they shouldn’t until they have to. There is already enough going on they have to worry about.
“Okay, we don’t need to focus on it now, not until it’s necessary.” Carina wipes away her tears and sniffles wanting to do exactly as Maya says and focus on the present as much as they can.
“Maya and Carina against the world remember?” Maya says giving Carina’s hand a squeeze. It has become their mantra ever since high school if they went through a hard time. They are a team and nothing can break them apart as long as they focus on each other.
“Right, Maya and Carina against the world.” Carina says smiling at Maya and taking a breath of air calming down knowing they are okay and will be as long as they fight the battles of life together instead of separately.