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It started out with little things.
Annoyance at how confining pants were.
Feeling awkward when he got drafted into a game of shirts and skins, and ended up on the skins side.
Deciding to grow his hair out, for no other reason than it just always felt too short.
Then it began to build.
He'd avoid looking at himself in the mirror, and some days his body would just feel wrong, itchy from the inside out, as if there was something that didn't belong and that something was his skin.
It really weirded him out.
He wasn't sure what to make of it until he ran across an article on the internet: "Girl, Boy, or Other? Who You Are." He'd clicked it because it'd confused him – what did it mean, girl, boy, or other? Wasn't there just girls and boys?
That was the day he found there was a word for what he was feeling. That uncomfortable itchiness, the anxiety of being in his own body, of not feeling quite right. Dysphoria. When your body made you feel restless, dissatisfied, uncomfortable, fidgety, anxious. It was perfect for what he felt.
It wasn't every day, of course. It came and went in waves. Sometimes he felt wrong for weeks – other times it only lasted for a fleeting moment. Sometimes titles like "boy" and "girl" both felt wrong. Sometimes he felt like something in between.
He decided not to tell anyone until he managed to figure out what was going on in his head for himself first. And maybe not even then. For now, he just let his hair grow out, and sat down instead of standing at the toilet when he felt like it, and was at home in his bathroom. Safe, quiet, and alone.
…
It took him weeks to build up his courage. Weeks of sneaking away his mom's magazines, being careful to pick the three-month-old ones that she wouldn't miss. Hiding them under his notebook in his desk drawer, only taking them out when he knew he wouldn't be interrupted, just to look at the clothes.
Weeks of running his hands over the glossy pages, marveling at the beautiful dresses and the gorgeous shirts, flowery print and bright colors. He'd lost count ages ago how long he'd spent laying on his bed at night, imagining what it would be like to wear one of those dresses that seemed to flounce around like magic, weightlessly floating.
Weeks of steeling himself to take an action – even if it was the smallest thing.
"Mom, I'm heading out!" He called, grabbing his messenger bag and slinging it over his shoulder, trying to keep his voice relatively level so as not to betray both his nerves and excitement about what he was about to do.
"Meeting up with Tsukishima-kun, right?" His mom asked, poking her head around the corner as Yamaguchi pulled his tennis shoes on by the door.
"Yup," he lied easily, feeling guilty about the little white lie but certainly not about to tell her what he really planned to do. "Going to walk around, then probably get something to eat for lunch."
It wasn't all that far off from what he and Tsukki had done before – on the weekends, if they were both caught up on their homework, they'd often go walk around the park and get something to eat on the way over to Tsukki's for a documentary. Of course, Yamaguchi wasn't planning on going anywhere near the park – not today, anyways. And he wasn't meeting up with Tsukki, either.
"Have fun, dear. Don't forget to be home for dinner – or let us know if you'll be at Tsukishima-kun's," his mom smiled easily at him, waving gently.
"Thanks," Yamaguchi smiled widely, hoping she couldn't hear his pounding heartbeat. He'd practiced his smile over the last few days – just to make sure it wouldn't betray him before he could leave the house. "See you tonight!" He called, making sure to close the door securely behind him.
"Sorry, mom," he whispered to himself, climbing onto his bike easily and kicking off the ground as he got on his way. He really didn't want to lie to her, but how could he tell her he was heading to the mall to look at dresses in person? It'd just be too weird.
…
He wasn't planning on trying anything on. He really wasn't. He was just going to go into the first big store, and quietly walk through the dress section. He just wanted to see some of the pretty clothes in person – maybe see what they were made of. Some of them looked so soft and impossible.
But when he'd found one of his favorites – a red dress with cap sleeves and a flowing skirt with a sash around the waist, straight from the glossy pages of the catalog – sitting on the clearance rack, he couldn't help but pause, picking the hanger up and letting the soft cotton of the sash slide through his fingers.
"Is it for your girlfriend?"
Yamaguchi startled, nearly dropping the hanger when someone spoke right near him.
"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to startle you," the lady smiled gently, putting her hands up. She had a name tag on, and a collared light blue shirt, so she must have worked there.
"Oh- ah, uhm, no, no I- I don't have a gir-girlfriend, sorry," Yamaguchi flushed, stumbling over his words. He clenched his hands in an attempt to stop them from shaking, and didn't realize they had fisted in the fabric and crinkled it until he saw the worker looking from his hands, back up to his face. "Uh, I was just- just looking," he said, knowing it only made him sound like a creepier person than before, because what kind of guy went "just looking" at women's clothes?
"I'm sorry for assuming, most young men who come in here are looking for presents for their girlfriends," she apologized, watching Yamaguchi carefully, still wearing that gentle smile. "Is there a specific size you were looking for?"
"I, uh, ah- n-no?" Yamaguchi managed to get the dress back on bar it'd been hanging from, reaching his free hand up to tug at the hair at the base of his neck. It was getting longer, but it was slow going. "I don't, uh- don't really understand women's sizes."
"Oh, no one really does," the woman chuckled, "they seem to change bases all the time! Someone who fits a size two in one thing, can fit a thirty-seven in something else. It's all rather arbitrary, really. Let's see… is she bigger, or smaller than you?" She asked brightly, seemingly determined to help Yamaguchi in whatever quest she imagined him to have.
"Sh- … uh… about my size?" He managed to squeak out, looking down at his shoes and tugging harder on his hair, not sure how to get out of the conversation politely. "But, uh, really. I was… just looking. It's ok."
The woman had simply been watching him, but all of a sudden her face lit up with understanding and she whispered a surprised "oh!" Yamaguchi felt himself flush entirely, but she didn't seem to mind. "You know, even if you were… 'just looking,' this is on clearance. All sales are final – if you bought it, you wouldn't be able to return it later."
"O-oh… I should probably just… go, then," Yamaguchi mumbled, daring a quick glance up only to meet the woman's sharp but understanding eyes for a moment.
"You know what? We have neutral changing rooms in the back. If you folded this up, no one would think twice if you wanted to try it on," she said gently, then eyeing him critically for a moment before rifling through the rack to find a medium, folding it over itself and showing the red lump to him.
"W-would that really be ok?" Part of him was horrified and mortified he was even considering the proposition… but there was something else that said he wouldn't be likely to get another opportunity like this anytime soon. And it really was so soft and pretty…
"Of course! Look, it looks just like a shirt – and I wouldn't want you getting something that you hadn't seen if it looked nice, first," she winked at him, pressing the folded up dress into his arms. "Come on, I'll lead you to the changing rooms – they're in the back."
…
Tsukishima absolutely hated going to the mall. It was loud, crowded, and usually hot from all the bodies packed into the stagnant building. And there were always seven million people trying to get you to buy something, even if you were clearly not interested, and just trying to get a damn chore done.
The only reason he was there was because his mom's birthday was coming up, and he had to get her a present. He loved his mom, of course, but that didn't make the trip any more pleasant.
Usually it was Akiteru who made the trips like this, but since he was away at school this year, it was left to Tsukishima to venture into the busy department store and find the light, flowery shirt they'd picked out from one of their mom's old magazines.
"Ugh," he sneered as he passed yet another screaming child and then a pair of giggling teenagers, pushing his way deeper into the racks. The sooner this errand was over, the better. "Where are the damn shirts?" He muttered, craning his neck to look over the top of the racks when he found himself at a dead end.
Scanning around and not seeing any signs that said "shirts," because that would be far too sensible, he looked instead for the closest area that was likely to be staffed. Might as well just ask someone who worked there – if he was lucky, they might even be able to show him right where the exact shirt would be. As he pushed through the tight aisles and racks towards the area labeled Changing Rooms, he paused, seeing a familiar freckled face and frowning.
"Yamaguchi…?"
He pushed forward with renewed energy, reaching the changing room area just as his friend disappeared into one of the stalls. Why was Yamaguchi here? He'd said he'd wanted to get a head start on their homework for the weekend because his family had plans on Sunday, so he couldn't come over for their regular Saturday afternoon documentary. This time it was one about whales. Tsukishima had been looking forward to it.
"Hi, I'm meeting a friend," Tsukishima said simply to the clerk, who glared at him in a clear message that he had to wait in the small area like all the other people not trying things on. Rolling his eyes, Tsukishima sat down on the bench next to a nine year old who looked like the most fascinating thing she'd ever done was dig through her nose for new boogers. Eugh. Disgusting.
Yamaguchi seemed like he was taking forever, and it wasn't too long before Tsukishima was impatiently tapping his foot, waiting for his friend to reemerge. By the time he finally did, Tsukishima had nearly forgotten they hadn't come to the mall together, mildly irritated. "Bout time you came out," he muttered as Yamaguchi's door clattered open, standing up.
"Hey Yamaguchi, I thought that was you."
Yamaguchi startled, jumping slightly before settling, clearing his throat. Tsukishima smirked slightly. It'd been awhile since he'd startled his best friend.
"O-oh, Tsukki, wh-what are you doing here?"
"Had to get a present for my mom. Birthday's coming up," Tsukishima shrugged, glancing down at the red wad of fabric Yamaguchi was clutching. "What were you trying on?"
"Ah, it's uh… nothing," Yamaguchi flushed, trying to hide the item behind his back, but faltering when Tsukishima stepped closer, falling completely still.
"Eh?" Tsukishima narrowed his eyes as he stepped forward, focusing in on the fabric and plucking the edge of the red skirt out, watching as it fell down. "Is that… a dress?" He asked, more confused than ever.
Yamaguchi simply flushed darker, looking at anything but his best friend. When Tsukishima stayed silent, waiting for an answer, he finally mumbled back a quiet "…yes."
"Hm." Was all Tsukishima responded with, glancing between the dress and his friend, keeping his face the same still, contemplating look it always had, thinking. He glanced around, looking for anything else Yamaguchi might have been trying on, eyes flitting to look through the stall door to see if maybe he'd left something behind. But nothing was forthcoming. Yamaguchi was standing there, in front of him, having come out of a dressing room with nothing other than… a dress.
Tsukishima waited for the floodgates to open – Yamaguchi was a rambler, this was about the time that he'd break under the pressure of the silence and Tsukishima's unwavering gaze and would just start saying whatever was on his mind, most of it nonsense, until Tsukishima had to scold him to shut up. That was how the phrase "shut up, Yamaguchi" ended up becoming such a regular part of their conversations, after all. To hear nothing from his best friend… something serious was up. Something that had Yamaguchi worrying even more so than he usually did. But Tsukishima couldn't place his finger on what that meant quite yet.
The silence stretched on forever, both of them just awkwardly standing in the middle of the dressing room entrance until at the desk cleared his throat loudly.
"Ah! Sorry," Yamaguchi apologized, bowing slightly as he stepped to the side, warily watching as Tsukishima followed him to the wall.
Finally having decided on what to say, Tsukishima caught Yamaguchi's eye. "Red's not your color," he said with all sincerity, pointing to the dress and thinking about how that shade would make Yamaguchi look feverish and sick.
"Ah, right," Yamaguchi nodded, taking a moment to step aside and pass the dress to the worker at the desk, thanking him.
…
They ended up back at Tsukishima's house, on his bed with a plate of sandwiches sitting between them, entirely untouched. They had left the mall as soon as they had exited the store, and Tsukishima hadn't even picked up his mother's gift. Yamaguchi had spent the entire walk to his house quiet, scuffing his shoes at the pavement until Tsukishima growled at him to quit that, not at all his usual, chatty self.
Now he sat on Tsukishima's bed, tugging on a lock of hair so hard Tsukishima was surprised he hadn't pulled it out yet, chewing on his lip and sneaking glances up at Tsukishima like he was a puppy who'd peed in the house and was just waiting to get scolded.
Exasperated, Tsukishima blew air heavily out of his nose, leveling his flat glare at his best friend. "If I tell you a personal secret will you calm down and stop being weird?"
Yamaguchi startled, and by this point it wasn't funny anymore, it was just frustrating. "M… maybe?" He squeaked, meeting Tsukishima's gaze for the first time since they'd left the department store.
Trying to adopt a less confrontational tone (though he wasn't sure exactly how well he succeeded in that, sheesh, Yamaguchi was acting like a startled deer for heaven's sake), Tsukishima leaned back and let out a breath. "You know how the guys talk about girls and stuff they find hot in the club room all the time? Like Nishinoya and Tanaka and Hinata and those guys."
"Yeah…?" Yamaguchi still seemed cautious, but at least he wasn't taking six years before he responded now.
"I don't get it. Don't understand it at all," Tsukishima confessed, gaze flitting around to meet Yamaguchi's eyes, before looking away again, shrugging. "I'm ace."
Yamaguchi frowned slightly. "… I know you're gonna be the ace. It infuriates Hinata on a daily basis. Anything that infuriates Hinata isn't exactly a secret."
Snorting, Tsukishima looked back at Yamaguchi, shaking his head slightly. "No, not The Ace. Ace. Asexual." It was the first time he'd actually told anyone, and he felt like he should probably be nervous, but he knew himself and hadn't given himself time to be nervous anyways. He wasn't doing this for himself, either way – he was doing this for Yamaguchi. So he could go back to being normal.
Yamaguchi's worry dropped away, and the hand that had been tugging at his hair stilled, sitting there at the base of his neck. "Oh. What's that mean?" He asked, and the hand started moving again, just slightly.
Tsukishima looked back at Yamaguchi, keeping his face carefully blank. "Means I don't experience sexual attraction. Just don't see the point, I guess. You're the first one I've told," he adds in a mumble, glancing away at his computer on the other side of the room. "So yeah."
"O-oh! Well. Uh. Alright then. Tsu-Tsukki."
Tsukishima grunted, throwing his legs off the edge of the bed. "So I'll keep your secret, whatever it is, and now you have one of mine to keep, too," he said, simply, planning on leaving it at that.
"Oh!" Yamaguchi lit up a bit, his shoulders visibly bouncing up. "Okay. Yeah. I can do that," he said, nodding, clearly much calmer, some of the tension easing out of him. "And… to be fair, I don't really… know my secret, myself… not yet, anyways," he added, hurriedly, his shoulders hunching together just slightly. "Sometimes I just feel more girly and…," he trailed off, mumbling, tugging at that same lock of hair again.
"Hey, it's alright," Tsukishima interrupted, "You don't have to explain yourself to me. I like you however you are – you're my best friend," he said honestly, quietly. He leaned over, bumping their shoulders together lightly. "S'cool."
Yamaguchi hummed gently, bumping Tsukishima's shoulder back. "Thanks, Tsukki."
Tsukishima rolled his eyes at the nickname, but accepted it. "And quit pulling at your damn hair," he scolded, reaching up to knock Yamaguchi's hand away from his neck. "You're gonna go bald."
"Sorry, Tsukki," Yamaguchi chuckled lightly, smiling. It was good to hear the familiar phrase from his best friend's mouth.
"Now, you got time to watch that whale documentary, or do you have to rush home to your 'homework'?" Tsukishima teased, already reaching forward to press the on button on the small TV he had in his room, pushing in the VHS tape he'd asked his mom to record the documentary on earlier.
"Hmm, I think I can stay a little longer… but just one documentary," Yamaguchi teased back, smiling gently, and finally picking up one of the sandwiches that were starting to dry out. "You think they really talk when they make those loud noises?"
"Don't be stupid, of course they're talking," Tsukishima scoffed, scooting back to settle on the floor, leaning back against his bed. "The real question is how many of those tiny krill things do they eat," he said, reaching back and blindly feeling around for the other sandwich, mumbling his thanks as Yamaguchi pushed the plate forward into his reach. "I mean, it's got to be in the thousands."
…
Nothing much changed, after that. They still hung out on weekends, took walks and watched documentaries, Yamaguchi complained to Tsukishima that he was going to fail his next test, Tsukishima shushed him and helped him study… it was as if nothing happened. Almost.
Yamaguchi started braiding tiny braids into Tsukishima's hair, because it was "good practice" for the littler braids, and he couldn't quite do it on his own head yet. Tsukki made him promise to take all of them out before he went home, though. One time, Yamaguchi had forgotten one smack in the middle of the back of Tsukishima's head, and it had stayed in for days, neither of them realizing.
Yamaguchi chuckled at the memory, when they had been at practice and Hinata had suddenly exclaimed "GWAAAAH WHAT'S IN YOUR HAIR TSUKISHIMA?! DID YOU DO THAT YOURSELF HOW IT'S IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD IT'S SO E V E N" Tsukki had scowled at Hinata while he reached back, feeling for whatever was on the back of his head, only to realize it was one of Yamaguchi's tiny, perfectly spaced braids. Scowling, he'd told Hinata off, something about how it was rude to stare at people's hair while Kageyama purposely spiked a volleyball into Hinata's side, yelling something about how Hinata was a dumbass again.
"I doubt he made it himself, though, it's too clean," Noya had commented, peering up at Tsukki's head. "Doing braids in your own hair is really hard, you know."
"It actually is, though," Yamaguchi nodded, frowning slightly as he pushed his bangs out of his face for the billionth time, "they end up looking all weird, even if you can see it in a mirror."
This had launched the whole team into a conversation about braiding hair. Tsukki had scoffed at the ridiculous topic and looked like he was about ready to leave when Daichi finally shouted at them to get back on task, this was volleyball practice, not a sleepover.
A week later, when Tsukishima offered to braid Yamaguchi's bangs back, Yamaguchi had started. "I didn't know you knew how to braid hair!" He exclaimed.
"I uh… asked Nishinoya-san to teach me. He has little sisters."
"Awww, Tsukki, you didn't have to!"
Tsukishima pulled a face and put on a high pitched tone. "Aww, Yams, yes I did." His face fell flat and he glared at his best friend. "Hear how dumb that sounds? Stop calling me Tsukki."
Yamaguchi laughed, scooting over so that Tsukki could reach his bangs easily. "I don't know, I think Yams is cute. You should call me that from now on," he suggested, smiling widely.
"You want to be the word for sweet potato in English? Weirdo," Tsukishima had sighed, rolling his eyes and threading his hands into Yamaguchi's hair. "Now hold still, I'm still getting used to this."
"Okay, Tsukki," Yamaguchi chirped, enjoying the feeling of his best friend carefully playing with his hair.
Somewhere around that time, everyone on the team started thinking that Tsukishima had a little sister. Tsukishima himself didn't bother correcting them, and Yamaguchi figured it wasn't his place, so he stayed quiet about it too.
…
The first time Yamaguchi suggested that maybe they go somewhere new on their Saturday walk, Tsukishima had eyed him with suspicion.
"Like where?" He asked, in a dead monotone, staring at Yamaguchi.
"Uhhh… maybe… the mall?" Yamaguchi squeaked out, hunching in on his shoulders and peering up at Tsukishima.
"Why would we go to the mall?" Tsukishima's face scrunched up in confusion, and he shook his head slightly. "Do you need to get something?"
"Well, I just thought that maybe… we could… go to look at some clothes?" Yamaguchi tugged anxiously on his hair, shuffling his feet. "I just don't want to go by myself Tsukki, last time it was so scary and I don't want to lie to you either because I felt so bad when you found me there and I said I was busy but if you don't want to go that's okay-"
"-Yamaguchi. Hey." Tsukishima interrupted his rambling, pushing an arm up to knock Yamaguchi's hand away from his hair, something that was becoming routine. "I don't know anything about any of this stuff still," he started, pausing for a moment before steeling himself and pushing through. "But if you want me there I'll go. At the very least I can glare at anyone who gives you stupid looks."
"Thanks, Tsukki!" Yamaguchi smiled widely, holding back a few wayward tears. It really did mean so much to him to have a friend who was so willing to help and support him – even if he had no idea what was going on. "It may be the mall, but I'll try to help make it as painless as possible, okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, alright. Wanna hang out at your house next week? Mom's been reminding me again about how we're getting the carpets cleaned, so we'd be stuck outside in the heat if we were at my place."
"Okay!"
…
When they finally got to the mall, though, Yamaguchi started second guessing himself. He knew Tsukki didn't like the mall, he knew he was uncomfortable when he had to be around so many people, especially when it was in such a loud and echoey place, he just knew he was being a burden, this was a terrible decision he should have never even brought it up…
"Hey. So. How does this work? Do you just like. Walk around until you find something you like?" Tsukishima piped up, looking around the department store and taking in the signs. Yamaguchi was glad Tsukki had insisted they not return to the store they'd met in before, because he didn't want to be thinking about that right now.
"Uhm… I guess so? I've never really done this before," Yamaguchi admitted, shuffling his feet nervously.
"What about that time at the other store though? With the dress?" Tsukishima asked, cocking his head at his best friend.
"Oh, that was the first time I'd got up the courage to do anything. I wasn't actually planning on trying anything on, the lady there was so encouraging though…" He trailed off, reaching a hand up to tug at his hair, shrugging.
"Okaaaay… well, when you go clothes shopping you try stuff on. That's how this works. So what kinda stuff do you like?" Tsukishima prompted, leading them both generally towards the women's area. "Dresses, I'm guessing?"
"Yeah," Yamaguchi breathed out, gratefully following Tsukishima's lead and falling into step just behind him. "I mean, I've only ever looked at pictures but… the swooshy ones? With the big floofy skirts. Those are my favorites to look at, they look so fun."
"You're starting to sound like that dumbass Hinata when you talk like that," Tsukishima scoffed, but bumped Yamaguchi's shoulder before he could react too badly. "Alright, let's go find you some swooshy skirts."
Yamaguchi felt a little awkward going into the women's section, just him and Tsukki, but at the same time it was a relief not to be alone. It seemed like people generally left them alone, and Yamaguchi couldn't help but think that Tsukki's resting scowl had something to do with that.
They wandered around aimlessly for a while, looking at different brightly colored dresses, lots of baby blues and light pinks, because Tsukki had told him he didn't look good in red, but he didn't seem to think the same thing about pastels.
Tsukki had managed to cajole Yamaguchi into trying on a few dresses that he stared at for too long, and Yamaguchi really felt himself loosening up. "Yes, I most definitely like the ones with swooshy skirts," he decided, looking in the mirror of a changing stall and bouncing up and down on his toes just to watch the skirt shift and wiggle.
"Yamaguchiiiiii! Are you gonna come out and show me what it looks like or what?" Tsukishima called through the door, and Yamaguchi froze for a moment.
"W-what? Show you?" He stuttered, calling back in a much quieter tone, one hand reaching up to tug at the now-familiar lock of hair.
"Of course," Tsukishima scoffed, "that's why you take your friends shopping, right? So they can help you pick out nice things?" He was speaking gruffly, and Yamaguchi supposed that was what seemed to happen in all the movies and things.
"O-okay… Just a second," Yamaguchi called back, taking a deep breath to steel himself. It was just a dress. And it looked pretty good on him, too! He'd just been bouncing in front of the mirror happily moments ago. Of course Tsukki would want to see it, and he'd dragged him along on this long outing already, it was the least he could do… "I'm coming out now," he called, hearing Tsukki step back from the stall door so it could swing out.
"What do you, eheh… what do you think?" He asked, nervously sliding a hand down the side of his skirt, feeling the fabric slithering about to escape his hand.
"Baby blue looks good on you," Tsukishima murmured, looking him up and down, nodding critically. "How do you like it? Is it… swooshy enough for you?"
Yamaguchi blushed lightly, thinking about how he'd been bouncing in the changing room. "It's uh- it's pretty swooshy, yeah," he laughed nervously. "Kinda wish it twirled better though," he mumbled.
"Alright, why don't you change back, and let's see if we can find a better one," Tsukishima suggested, ushering Yamaguchi back into the changing room. "We can go check out some of the other stores, too, if you want."
"Okay, Tsukki!" Yamaguchi smiled, excited, happy that Tsukishima didn't seem to be weirded out by him in a dress at all. "Just give me a minute."
…
They started going out to the mall about once a month, and slowly Tsukishima seemed to be coming into his own. He started pointing out possible dresses to Yamaguchi, and Yamaguchi felt comfortable enough saying that yes, he liked that one, or no, he didn't think that fabric would sit well, it looked really itchy.
Tsukishima coughed to get Yamaguchi's attention, nudging him and raising his eyebrows as he pointed at a dress on a mannequin up high. "What about that one?" He suggested, glancing back at Yamaguchi.
Yamaguchi looked up from where he'd been munching one of the meat buns they'd gotten for lunch, following Tsukki's pointing finger. "Oooh, good eye, Tsukki!" He smiled, spotting the knee-length dress with a lace overlay on the top. The skirt flared out like it had several layers of tulle underneath, and Yamaguchi couldn't help but imagine he'd feel like he was floating in a cloud when he wore it. "Let's go try it on!"
Tsukishima chuckled, not making a comment about how he wasn't going to trying it out, Yamaguchi was, and let his friend lead him through the racks to go looking for one of the flouncy dresses in his size.
When Yamaguchi emerged from the dressing room, he couldn't help but give it a test twirl, the layers of tulle bouncing about, smiling brightly at Tsukki. "You're right! This is a great one! Though a little itchy…" he mumbled, feeling the tulle scratch at his legs.
Tsukishima smiled back at him, just the littlest smirk for the barest second, but Yamaguchi caught it and felt extremely pleased he could make Tsukki react like that. Turning around and running his hands over the back of the skirt, he craned his neck over his shoulder to try to see what it looked like. "How does my butt look in this?"
"Are you seriously asking me to stare at your butt?" Tsukishima asked, cocking his head to the side, watching as Yamaguchi's face flooded with blood as he realized what he'd asked.
"Not, not stare, just look and…," Yamaguchi bumbled over his words, turning redder as he realized that maybe, yes, he wouldn't mind if Tsukki stared at his butt a little bit… He shifted and looked in front of him, shifting his weight between his feet and his mind racing as he wondered what that just was. "Just… how's the view?" He finally managed to ask, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
A quiet snort was heard, and Yamaguchi could practically hear his best friend rolling his eyes. "Just like always, Yamaguchi – you look awesome. You gonna get that one?"
"Maybe another time," Yamaguchi mumbled, stepping back into the dressing room a little quicker that was really necessary, closing the door behind himself and sliding the lock shut. Glancing in the mirror, he shook his head at his own face. His face was dark red with freckles spackled in a bright, paler color scattered across his cheeks. He looked like a ripened cherry!
Yamaguchi didn't come out of the dressing room until he'd managed to calm his face down, stepping out of the dress and carefully putting it back on the hanger. "What was that, brain?" he mumbled quietly to himself, making sure he wouldn't be heard over the general hustle and bustle that made for a constant white noise at the mall. Did he maybe… like Tsukki? More than just being grateful for his supportive best friend? Maybe in a romantic kind of way? "Gah!" Yamaguchi whipped his head back and forth, trying to shake the thoughts out of his brain. Now wasn't the time to be considering this. Tsukki was waiting for him just outside the door!
Taking a few more quiet, stabilizing breaths, Yamaguchi made his way back into the noisy world of department stores in the mall, watching Tsukki stand up and walk towards him.
"Well? Did you make a decision?" He asked, pulling his headphones down. "You were in there an awfully long time."
"I- what?" Yamaguchi startled, trying for a moment to figure out how Tsukki read my mind. "Oh, oh right, about the dress," he nodded, then shook his head, then nodded again. "I think I'll wait for it to go on sale if I buy it. It's really nice, but I don't have anywhere to wear it, so… it was a good one, though," he assured him, smiling up at Tsukki. "Lots of swoosh."
Tsukishima rolled his eyes at Yamaguchi's insistence on the use of swoosh, but nodded. "Good. It looked good on you, too. Here, I'll put it back for you," he offered, holding a hand out for the dress.
"Thanks," Yamaguchi nodded, passing the hanger over and taking a moment to breathe as Tsukki walked off to return the dress. Had Tsukki's legs always been quite so long? That seemed like a new development, for some reason…
Lost in thoughts about Tsukki's legs, and wondering if he'd hit a growth spurt recently, Yamaguchi startled with his friend returned.
"Ready to leave? If we go now we might be able to nab the court at the park, if the others aren't already there."
"Oh! Right, yeah, let's go," Yamaguchi nodded, suddenly remembering that they were meeting Hinata and Kageyama for a game of two-on-two on the sandy volleyball court at the park. Glancing at his watch, his eyes widened at the time. "Yeah, we should get going – why didn't you tell me sooner?"
Tsukishima shrugged, slowly and lazily. "Eh, we're in no hurry. And you looked really happy in that dress, so…"
"Sorry Tsukki," Yamaguchi apologized, sorry he'd been holding them up, and then he spent even more time freaking out in the changing roo- no, no time to think about that now, if he thought about that he'd get all caught up in it again, and they needed to hurry if they were going to catch the right train. "C'mon, let's go."
…
Tsukishima had taken a little while to grow comfortable with the shift in their friendship, but it wasn't too long before they'd fallen into a rhythm again. Yamaguchi would come over, they'd take walks, watch documentaries, study, Yamaguchi would listen to Tsukishima complain about how stupid Kageyama and Hinata were… in the end, the only thing that really changed was that sometimes, instead of walking to the park and watching a documentary, they'd make a day trip out to the mall, and Yamaguchi would drag him around to all his favorite stores to window shop. Because, by now, Yamaguchi had decided what he liked and didn't, and wasn't afraid of voicing it to his best friend anymore.
Today was one of those day trip days, and Tsukishima was finding he didn't mind the loud and the smell and the crowd of the mall as much as he used to – at least, not when Yamaguchi was running around, so full of energy.
"Oh, hey Mrs. Tsukki!" Yamaguchi chattered, smiling as Tsukishima's mom poked her head out the door.
"Where are you two boys headed?"
"Oh, just going to the mall, do a little people watching, walk around a bit." Yamaguchi responded for him as Tsukishima looked up, letting Yamaguchi talk for him.
"Alright, have fun! Dinner will be ready at five, so be sure to be back by then, okay?"
Tsukishima agreed, and they both waved goodbye before heading off towards the train, walking side by side at a quiet, steady pace.
"Your mom's nice," Yamaguchi said, suddenly, quietly. When Tsukishima glanced over, he saw Yamaguchi looking steadily at the road.
"My mom's not that cool," Tsukishima automatically responded, following Yamaguchi's gaze across the street. A beat of silence passed, and he leaned forward to press the crosswalk button before speaking up again, quietly, evenly. "You know, you could tell her what we're actually doing. She'd be fine with it."
"What? N-no, no I couldn't, it's embarrassing!" Yamaguchi sputtered, moving his hands rapidly back and forth in front of him, as if clearing away the very idea. "Besides, I haven't even told my mom yet… although I think she might know… she's been leaving out her magazines and stuff more…" he mumbled, reaching up absently to tug on his hair.
"My best friend being who he is isn't embarrassing," Tsukishima said plainly, casually reaching up and knocking Yamaguchi's hand down. "Light's green."
Yamaguchi quickly followed Tsukishima across the street, seeming deep in thought. Their train was pulling up to the station when he finally spoke up again. "I'm just not… ready. Yet."
"Mmm," Tsukishima hummed, nodding gently, making a point to nudge Yamaguchi's arm in a hopefully supportive manner as they climbed onto the train. He never wanted to push Yamaguchi more than he was ready, he didn't want to make his best friend feel uncomfortable… but he also knew sometimes you had to give them a little push. He didn't want Yamaguchi ending up stuck in one place. Not like his brother. Not like he could be. Yamaguchi deserved progress, especially about something so central to his identity. But the balance was important – and Tsukishima didn't really want to push.
They remained quiet on the train ride, and by the time they reached the mall, Tsukishima had a plan. As soon as they got off the bus and walked into the mall, he pointed Yamaguchi in the direction of one of his favorite stores – it was called Sanrio or something, it had a bunch of tiny little cutesy things, Yamaguchi loved little cutesy things – and prodded his friend forward. "Alright, what are your favorites this time?"
Yamaguchi's face lit up at Tsukishima's interest, and he grabbed Tsukishima's hand without a second though. "The accessories. Definitely. C'mon, they're at the back!"
Tsukishima let himself be dragged forward, watching as Yamaguchi reached a section of the wall that was covered in what looked like different hairpins, all with little designs and bright colors. He immediately starts picking up the various kinds, comparing them side by side and peering at them against his hair in the little mirror. Tsukishima found himself thinking it was rather endearing.
"What do you think of the strawberries, Tsukki?" Yamaguchi asked, drawing Tsukishima back to the world of people who spoke and interacted, and didn't just stare at their best friends like a zombie. He was holding up a pair of decorative bobby pins with bright little strawberries on the ends, sliding them against his bangs so that the paper backing was behind his hair, and Tsukishima could get a "proper" look at them.
Tsukishima felt a funny little catch in his chest, and took an extra moment to tilt his head, pretending to examine the hairpins a little closer. He swallowed thickly, before he was certain he could speak normally. "…they look good."
"Thanks! I like them too. But are they too big? Maybe these ones…" Yamaguchi rambled off to himself, picking up a few different sizes, lost to the world of decorative pins once more.
Tsukishima found himself staring at Yamaguchi again, contemplating how he'd started growing his hair out, and it was reaching a few centimeters below his shoulders now, how it probably wouldn't quite fit into a little ponytail yet, and his neck must be getting hot with all that hair… scratch endearing, Tsukishima found Yamaguchi downright adorable.
Wait, what? What was that? Tsukishima did not just call his best friend adorable. Not even alone, to himself, in his head. Nope. That never happened. We were going to squish those strange new feelings (that didn't really feel all that new, to be honest…) right back down where they came from. Right back into the little catch in his chest when Yamaguchi asked how the pins had looked.
"I like these ones best," Yamaguchi finally decided, putting all the others back in favor of the smallest set of strawberry themed bobby pins. He held them in his hand a moment longer, before putting it back with a little sigh, and turning to Tsukishima again. "Ok, I'm ready to walk a bit now."
Tsukishima made a mental note to his small collection of "things Yamaguchi likes" that he kept in his head, and lead them back out of the store, grimacing slightly at the loud chatter of the preteens who were running about. Maybe a weekday would be better, next time… less crowded…
…
"Hey, Noya, look look look over there!" Tanaka jostled against Noya's side, pointing at a little shop along the side of the road. "Is that Tsukishima?"
"What? Where? Why is it even a question, just look around for Yamaguch-" Noya whipped his head around, cutting off in the middle of his sentence as he spotted Tsukishima Kei, alone, at a little trinket store and buying something. The guy who always fussed over the simplest of things, who seemed to be so tight with his money, buying trinkets? Something was clearly up. "That is him! What is he doing?"
"I dunno, let's go find out- Hey! Tsukishimaaaa!" Tanaka called out, jogging across the road and waving, Noya hopping along behind him.
Tsukishima looked up and glared at them, as if their very presence was an affront to his existence.
"Ugh, he always has that face," Noya sneered, but walked up to his underclassman anyways. "Hey, Tsukishima. Where's Yamaguchi?" He asked, peering around and not spotting the freckled server anywhere nearby.
"He had to go to the dentist's today," Tsukishima said simply, pushing his wallet back into his pocket and grabbing a little paper bag from the counter.
"Eh? What'd you buy?" Tanaka asked, eyeballing the bag in Tsukishima's hand. "Something for a giiiiiirl?"
"What? No," Tsukishima scowled, responding immediately. "It doesn't matter."
"If it doesn't matter, then why don't you show us what it is?" Noya needled, bouncing from foot to foot in curiosity. It wasn't everyday they found Tsukishima without his little minion.
"If I do, will you leave me alone?" Tsukishima asked, raising an eyebrow. Noya and Tanaka looked at each other, nodded firmly, and then looked expectantly back at Tsukishima. "Ugh, fine," he said with an exasperated sigh, and let the bag open up, not bothering to take his purchase out.
Noya and Tanaka crowded forward, taking a peek into the bag.
"Ehhh? Does Tsukishima-kun have a girlfriend?" Tanaka crowded upon spotting the contents.
"I thought you said it wasn't for a girl? It's those little hair dealies!" Noya complained, bouncing back on his feet with a frown.
"It's not," Tsukishima said, clipped and short, closing the bag again and turning to walk away. "If that'll be all," he said, more a statement of goodbye than a question, and turned to walk away.
Tanaka and Noya looked at each other, confused.
"But if it wasn't for a girl…?" Tanaka trailed off, cocking his head.
"Well it's not for himself," Noya scoffed, "he'd never show us if it was."
"Then who…?"
"Ah! I got it!" Noya exclaimed, "his little sister! He probably doesn't think of her as a girl, and she's definitely not his girlfriend."
"Tsukishima has a little sister?" Tanaka asked, surprised.
"Well, I mean, he hasn't said he's got a lil sis, but he wanted to learn how to braid from me a while back, so I figured that was probably it." Noya shrugged. "Besides, if attractive guys like us can't get girlfriends, how do you think a scowly cactus like him is gonna get one?"
"Yeah!" Tanaka laughed, and he and Noya fist bumped it out, leaving the little shop behind.
Neither of them noticed when, the next day, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi had a little disagreement. Neither of them heard Tsukishima end the disagreement by insisting that "you can't chose for me how I spend my money so shut up and take it Yamaguchi." And the "sorry Tsukki," and "thanks Tsukki," were so commonly heard that they thought nothing of it. Neither of them noticed Yamaguchi wearing tiny little berry-themed hair pins to keep his hair up during their practices and games, either.
…
One day, it was raining heavily and they'd both forgotten their umbrellas. Tsukishima's house was closer, so that's where they rushed to, running through the streets with their bags tucked underneath their shirts in an attempt to keep their books dry. They were soaked through by the time Tsukishima managed to unlock the door and get them both inside.
"Go ahead to the bathroom – I'll get you some dry clothes," he directed, padding off into the house.
Yamaguchi nodded, forcing himself not to stare at his friend's backside as he walked down the hallway, instead turning to the side and entering the small bathroom. He'd come to terms with the fact that he liked Tsukishima as more than just his best friend a while ago, after that time when he'd inadvertently asked him to stare at his butt. Yamaguchi blushed as he recalled that moment, even though it was at least a month ago. "He's your friend, don't mess that up," he muttered to himself, stripping out of his soaked clothes and wringing them out into the bathtub. "Don't be rude, Yamaguchi Tadashi."
A knock sounded on the door, and Tsukishima called through it. "Hey, I've got you a clean sweatshirt and some pants, but they might be kind of big…"
"Oh! I have some leggings in my bag, if you want to grab those?" Yamaguchi offered, calling back.
"Alright. And just hang your clothes in the shower – I'll put them in the dryer later."
"Okay. Thanks, Tsukki!"
A few minutes later had Yamaguchi wandering into Tsukishima's room, his hair bundled up in a towel and complaining about how he'd lost one of his favorite pins. "When I went to dry my hair off, it was just gone," he fussed, scrubbing at his ears with the edge of the towel.
"Tsukki…?" Yamaguchi questioned, looking up when Tsukishima didn't say anything, finding his best friend sitting at his computer chair, just staring at him. "Wh-what? Is the sweatshirt caught in the leggings?!" He asked in horror, looking down and making sure the waist of the sweatshirt wasn't tucked into his pants anywhere like a toddler, fussing around with the clothes he had on. Sure, the sweatshirt was oversized, and fell down to about halfway down his knees, and the leggings were extremely fitted, as leggings ought to be, so he kind of felt like he was wearing a bit of a revealing dress… but at the same time he reveled in the feeling of his hands swimming in the arms of the sweatshirt, the edges of the sleeves reaching down to his fingertips and the collar around the hood just a liiiiittle to big, always slip-sliding to one side or another. "Do I look weird?" He asked, looking back up at Tsukishima once he was certain nothing was sitting strangely.
"Ah, uh, no, no you look fine," Tsukishima coughed, clearing his throat and looking down, and Yamaguchi had the distinct sense that he was blushing. "It's fine," he repeated, spinning back around to face his computer, mindlessly staring at the screen.
Yamaguchi hesitantly walked forward, feeling like if he moved too quickly he'd startle him, and peered over his shoulder at Tsukishima's Facebook feed. Maybe… just maybe, this attraction wasn't one-sided after all. Building up his courage, Yamaguchi ventured into the unknown.
"Would you… maybe… I don't know… might want to," Yamaguchi mumbled, turning the edge of the towel over in his fingers, not having any loose hair to tug at. "Kind of go on a date or something?" Yamaguchi mumbled the last bit quickly and quietly, feeling his face heat up and knowing if his ears weren't tucked into his towel-turban they'd be burning red.
"Mm…" Tsukishima hummed, clicking around a little on his Facebook, opening up his settings. Yamaguchi watched closely, waiting for a response, anxious, scared, and a little hopeful. A fleeting moment of terror crossed where he thought Tsukishima might have been about to unfriend him, before the tab was navigated away from and Tsukishima brought up his personal information.
With a few clicks, Tsukishima calmly set his relationship status to "in a committed friendship with Yamaguchi Tadashi."
He didn't say anything, just continued to sit there a few moments, before clicking submit. Yamaguchi's mind was going a mile a minute, unsure what to make of this development. They'd been in a committed friendship for years now, very committed best friendship, for years, what does he mean by setting his relationship status to that? Is he trying to say he just wants to stay the same, to be friends? But he also knows that Tsukishima is a very private person… maybe he just wants to quietly take himself off the market without doing anything anyone would question? But no, no, he was assuming too much, after all he knew Tsukishima is asexual, and he didn't fully understand it but maybe he doesn't want a relationship at all, even with his best friend, and—
His entire thought process was short circuited when Tsukishima turned slightly to lean over, and give him a simple peck on the nose. His face was just as red as Yamaguchi's, and he stared at the wall, mumbling "yeah… let's date."
…
They'd been dating for about six months when summer finally rolled around. Neither was really sure what was going to happen by that time next year – after all, they were heading into their third year, their final time together in high school, and they wanted to make the most of their, possibly, last summer free.
Or at least, that's what Yamaguchi was arguing in an attempt to get Tsukishima to go to the pool with him.
"Come onnnnn Tsukki, it'll be fun! You can even wear a shirt in the pool if you want, I think that's ok at the community pool by my house," Yamaguchi cajoled, tugging on Tsukki's arm with both hands.
Tsukishima simply raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend, staring him down. Maybe if he was quiet long enough, Yamaguchi would drop it and be intimidated by his obviously stern gaze.
"You'll get to see me in my super-cute bathing suiiiiiiiit," Yamaguchi sang, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Suggestively of what, exactly, since they hadn't even kissed, Tsukishima wasn't sure, but he did like the idea of seeing some more of Yamaguchi's muscled build. He remained quiet though, because he really didn't like how easily he sunburned, no matter how much sunblock he used, and he did get to see Yamaguchi's arms and legs fairly often at practice.
"We could watch that documentary about the velociraptors when we get home?" Yamaguchi tried, his voice trailing up in a hopeful query.
When Tsukishima still said nothing, Yamaguchi huffed and let his arms fall to his sides, pouting. "C'mon Tsukki, I just don't want to go alone."
Annnd now he was sulking. And Tsukishima was partial to Yamaguchi's pouts. Damn his boyfriend for being so adorable at all times. "Alriiiiiiiiiight," he allowed, rolling his eyes as Yamaguchi's face lit up with a smile, "just stop your sulking, it's ridiculous."
"Yes!" He cheered happily, smiling widely up at Tsukishima. "You won't regret this Tsukki – it's gonna be great!"
"Uh-huh," Tsukishima said flatly, allowing Yamaguchi to pull him up from where he'd sat.
"C'mon, let's go, get your stuff! I'll get you a towel," Yamaguchi darted around excitedly, twirling about.
"Yama-"
"Oh, and I brought my stuff in my bag, so we don't need to stop by my house either!" Yamaguchi cut Tsukishima off, heading out of the room, presumably to get a towel from the linen closet.
"Of course you did," Tsukishima mumbled to himself, shaking his head. He couldn't help but find it slightly amusing, though, that Yamaguchi was so certain he could get him to go to the pool that he'd bothered carrying around his suit and a towel all day.
Then again, Tsukishima considered, Yamaguchi wasn't one to be burdened down by just a few extra things, even if he hadn't managed to persuade him. "Eh, whatever," Tsukishima muttered, shrugging, and looking around for where he'd last left his swim trunks.
…
They had waited until they got to the pool to change into their swimsuits and put on sunblock, Tsukishima making Yamaguchi promise to get his back really good because he was not going to have nasty sunburns for the next two weeks again.
Tsukishima walked out of one of the small changing stalls and onto the deck, looking around for the big floppy sunhat that Yamaguchi had insisted on wearing. To be fair, it was pretty funny to see Yamaguchi's head being dwarfed by the huge straw contraption, but he had thought they had come to the pool to swim…
Tsukishima's breath caught as he spotted his boyfriend and realized that he really hadn't been kidding when he'd called his swimsuit "super-cute." It was one of those retro sailor suits that kind of looked like a jumpsuit, navy blue with little white trim around the edges, highlighting his legs where the shorts ended and his shoulders where the tanktop-style top came up to. Tsukishima was suddenly feeling very self-conscious about his old, baggy swim trunks and the loose white tanktop he'd thrown on top, to hopefully deter the sun's ever-vigilant vendetta against his skin.
"Heeey, Tsukki, come over here! I found us a spot!" Yamaguchi called over, beckoning Tsukishima to where he'd claimed a pair of lounge chairs.
Tsukishima brought himself back to reality, and walked casually over to Yamaguchi, trying not to stare at his butt. Too much. Too obviously. Quick, Tsukishima Kei, look at the floppy sunhat, distract yourself with his ridiculous face, start counting freckl-
"Heheh, you like what you see, Tsukki?" Yamaguchi chuckled as Tsukishima finally reached him, waggling his eyebrows again.
"You look very nice," Tsukishima said measuredly, "and put those goddamned eyebrows away, they're an embarrassment," he muttered, reaching up to flick the edge of the sunhat so it'd flop down over Yamaguchi's face.
Yamaguchi just laughed, pulling the sunhat off and dropping it unceremoniously on the foot of the chair, directing Tsukishima to sit. "So," he started, conversationally, as he pulled out the sunblock and Tsukishima took off his tanktop, "I read somewhere that freckles are caused by like. Mild sunburn or something like that, but only on certain people?" He pondered as he squirted some sunblock onto his hand and got straight to work, Tsukishima shuddering as the cold lotion hit his back. "You think I might get more freckles if I sit out in the sun today?"
"Hm… I'm not quite sure that's how it really works," Tsukishima said, taking the sunblock from Yamaguchi and quickly and efficiently applying it across his hands, arms, and face. "But I have heard them called sunspots before, so it might be something related."
In the end, Tsukishima ended up counting Yamaguchi's freckles as he applied sunblock to his boyfriend's back, because "it's for science, Tsukki!" and definitely not because he liked looking at each and every little dot that was speckled across Yamaguchi's skin. Particularly his shoulders and upper arms, he'd found, where the spots were densely clustered.
Yamaguchi tired out from swimming earlier, and decided to sit up on one of the chairs, taking a nap under his sunhat and insisting that "no, no, you keep swimming, I'll be fine!" At least, Tsukishima had been assuming Yamaguchi was napping, but when he climbed out of the pool, his tanktop sticking to him and a little breeze blowing by, causing him to shiver at the chill, Yamaguchi sat up, plenty awake.
"Eyyyy, lookin' good Tsukki," he crowed, lowering his sunglasses enough to look over the top of them, and Tsukishima was certain those eyebrows were waggling again as he could feel his skin tightening from the sudden chill of the breeze.
Trying to play it cool, Tsukishima reached up to pull his prescription goggles off smoothly, and instead ended up snapping them against his forehead. He grimaced, grouching as he walked over to Yamaguchi, who was practically cackling at his face. In spite, Tsukishima flicked a dripping wet hand at his boyfriend, watching as Yamaguchi yelped at the drops that flew at his face.
Tsukishima sat down on the other lounge seat, watching Yamaguchi pull his sunglasses off and wipe them on a nearby towel. Once Yamaguchi was done, he offered the towel to him, and Tsukishima grabbed it, running it across his hair.
When his head reemerged from tousling it dry, he saw Yamaguchi eyeing him curiously. "What?" He asked, eyebrows furrowing.
"Nothing… you just seem happy to see me," Yamaguchi teased, and Tsukishima didn't even know what he was talking about until he waggled his eyebrows and pointedly looked down at Tsukishima's tanktop. Damn those eyebrows!
Tsukishima glanced down and realized that not only was his tanktop plastered against his chest, it was practically see through, too, and you could see where his nipples had hardened from the chill. Tinging a bit pink, he tried to gruffly play it off. "Tsch, there's a breeze, it's just the cold," he grouched, nonetheless quickly stripping the offensively revealing tanktop off, squeezing it out onto the hot concrete.
Yamaguchi grinned, and stood up, leaning over to plop his floppy sunhat on top of Tsukishima's head. Right when he was next to Tsukishima's ear, he whispered, "be at ease, gentle nipnops," somehow with a straight face, before straightening up and making sure the hat was sitting properly. "Must protect your fair skin, my gentle maiden," he teased, grabbing Tsukishima's tanktop and draping it across the back of his chair.
"Oh my god, why do I even hang out with you?" Tsukishima whined, glaring up at the brim of the hat where it flopped into view. "You are the most embarrassing person in the world."
"It's because you just love how my butt looks in this sailor's suit," Yamaguchi chirped, walking towards the bathrooms with a little extra sway in his step.
Tsukishima couldn't deny it, though. His butt did look really good in that sailor's suit. From the moment he got up, to the moment he slipped in a puddle trying to act cool, and he landed right on that fine ass and Tsukishima laughed, loudly.
Maybe the pool wasn't such a bad idea after all.
…
It was a few days later, and they'd had some summer practice at the gym over the weekend. Yamaguchi was carefully sliding his polka-dot bobby pins in to hold his sweaty hair back, when he heard it from across the club room where they were all changing out of their uniforms.
"Tsukishima, what is that on your back?!"
Hinata was just as loud and blunt as he had been in their first year, and Tsukishima simply growled in response.
"It's a sunburn, idiot, what does it look like?"
Yamaguchi closed his locker door, barely holding back a grin as he turned around to take in the scene.
"Well," Kageyama said, tossing in his two cents, "I'd say that it looks like you've got a smiley-face on a very not-burnt part of your back."
"It does look like a smiley-face, doesn't it!" Hinata shouted, spotting the pattern finally.
Tsukishima wasn't paying attention to them anymore, though. He was preoccupied with more important things.
"YamagUCHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"
Yamaguchi finally lost it, snickers escaping his mouth as he tried to cover up the grin across his face with a hand. Inching his way towards the door, he got out a hiccupped, obviously insincere, "Sorry Tsukki!"
Hinata laughed in the background as Yamaguchi darted out the door, running through the hallway with a rather irritated and very shirtless Tsukishima chasing after him.
He was much happier now than he was a year ago.
He still didn't have it all figured out – far from it, in fact. It wasn't like he could say "I'm male this week, then female next week," – he still wasn't sure if he felt male, female, or otherwise until he'd started the day. But none of that bothered him anymore, because he could always honestly say "I am Yamaguchi Tadashi. I am myself." And he was comfortable with that knowledge and acceptance.
He didn't feel like his skin was just a little too tight anymore, and he didn't have the same levels of stress he did the year before. And he was finally able to put all his needless worry about scaring Tsukki away, because Tsukki was his best and strongest support.
He was happy, and right now that was all that mattered.