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"Ben? Are you in here?" Armie squinted as he moved from the sun, into the dark track storage building. There was some quiet sniffling, but mostly he knew he was there because of the mayhem. A trail of knocked-over equipment led him to the back of the building, and Ben Solo hunched over on himself.
"Ben?" Armie stopped in front of him, not wanting to touch or get too close, and possibly make him more upset. He wondered how bad of a friend he was, noticing Ben's long muscular legs, and the way his tousled hair hung over his face, when he was supposed to be there checking on him.
"Leave me alone," came the surly, broken reply.
"You know, I think I'll just stay right here," Armie crossed his arms over his chest and leaned on one hip. He hated seeing Ben like that. Hated seeing him fall apart after having come so far.
"Armie . . ." Ben tried to sound authoritative, angry, but it just came out pitifully small.
"With the doors both open, it's really not too bad in here. Certainly cooler than out in that sun. I could use the shade, I think I need to reapply my sunscreen."
"So go do it," came the reply, followed by a loud sniffle.
"Ben," Armie gave up his charade, found himself a patch of wall, nearby but not directly next to him, and slid down it, "You haven't had a meltdown like that since the beginning of the season. What happened?"
There was a long silence, so Armie kept quiet. Finally, Ben threw his head back dramatically, banging it with a hollow thud on the particle board. He huffed, "I scratched my high jump."
Armie tipped his head, he could just barely see the back of the high jump mat from where they were, "Yes, you get another try, you know. But only if you get back in time, before they raise the bar for the next round."
"No, I scratched them all. I scratched at five-foot-fucking-eight. I can practically walk over that. Shit, Rey can jump 5'6", and she's half my size." He rammed an elbow back and Armie heard something crack, "I shouldn't even have started jumping until they moved it to 5'10". Fuck!"
"Rey is not quite that small. But everyone has bad jump days, and this is just the mock Regionals. Why did you . . ."
"My mom's here!" Ben yelled, looking at Armie for the first time since he came in. His face was blotchy, and his nose wet. Then, looking defeated, he pulled his knees up, crossed his arms over them, and put his head down.
"Oh," Armie hadn't realized Leia was at the track. "I mean, it's nice that she came to watch you." He snorted, "I wish Brendol hadn't."
"This is the first time she's been to a track meet. The first time in forever that's she's . . . She used to come to all my soccer games, but that was because I wasn't old enough to drive myself. I don't even know why she's here."
"She made the time to come. She could have just, not." Armie suggested, knowing that wasn't what Ben really wanted to hear. "Besides, I heard you did really well at the long jump. She saw that, right?"
"No, I saw her come in afterwards."
Crap. Before he could think of something else to say, Ben continued, miserably, "At least Brendol got to see you win your event. All mom saw was Rey out-jumping me." Ben and Rey had a ridiculous rivalry, one that Armie suspected was supported more by Ben than his cousin.
"Rey did not jump 5'8" today so, no, she did not. And when has winning ever made a damn difference to Brendol. He's still going to yell at me later, tell me how much my work ethic sucks, and that my coach is ruining my hurdle form."
Ben lifted his head at that, "He's such a fucking asshole."
Willing to milk his sympathy to get him out of his own head, Armie agreed, "Yes, he is. What a jerk."
"Fuck-wad."
"Ass-wipe."
"Hamster brain."
"Cow's ass."
Ben cracked a smile, "Jellyfish brain."
"Jellyfish don't have brains." Armie pointed out.
"Exactly."
At Armie's laugh, Ben rested his temple back against his arm and smiled. "I suppose," Armie told him, smiling back, "We really shouldn't insult jellyfish like that."
"Or cow assholes," Ben broke into a grin.
Armie raised a hand to touch his arm, hesitating halfway there. His eyes went from his extended hand, to Ben's face. Was he fooling himself that he looked hopeful? Too awkward to back out now, Armie thought, and laid a hand on Ben's raised bicep.
They both held their breath for a moment, then Ben raised his head again. Armie thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest, as he watched Ben move to nudge his cheek against Armie's knuckles. He closed his eyes and sighed, cheek hot against Armie's hand. He tried not to tremble.
"Thanks for coming to find me," Ben said so quietly Armie had to lean closer to hear.
"You're not actually that hard to find. There's only so many places a six foot plus guy can hide, in an open field." He could feel the curve of Ben's smile against his fingers.
Armie breathed out gently to fortify himself, then moved his fingers to stroke Ben's cheek.
Ben opened his eyes and Armie fell into that deep, dark gaze. He waited, breathless for his reaction.
His stomach fell when Ben moved his head, pulling away from his fingers. Then he realized he was turning his lips towards them. Those full, beautiful lips that Armie couldn't ignore, whether they were pouting, frowning--or smiling at him, the way they were right then. His hand was definitely trembling.
He didn't exactly kiss his fingers, it was more of a brush of his lips. But it was enough to embolden Armie to scoot closer. In that moment, he couldn't care less what he was getting all over his track uniform. All he could think was that Ben had given him some kind of green light, and he needed to hit the gas.
Ben looked suddenly terrified, but when Armie lifted his hand off his bicep, Ben moved to grab it, and pressed it against his cheek.
Armie leaned in, pausing right before their lips met. His eyelids fluttered shut, and he pressed his lips gently onto Ben's.
They were a little chapped, but so, so soft. Soft and pliant under Armie's, moving against him, with him. He didn't want to stop, didn't want to pull away. Finally he did, but only to rest their foreheads together.
They both let out a long sigh.
"I've wanted to do that forever," Armie finally admitted.
"Me too. I'm glad one of us was finally brave enough."
"You made me brave enough," Armie told him, kissing him again before he could protest.
Their coach's voice came over the loudspeaker, just outside the storage building, "Last call, boy's 4 by 8. First call, long jump finals," they continued with a list of names, including Ben's.
Armie reluctantly sat back, "We need to get back out there."
Ben nodded, but neither of them moved.
"Leia will get to see you this time, at least," Armie ran his fingers from his cheek into his hair. Ben had been growing it out, much to his mother's chagrin. Armie liked it, and it was so soft under his fingers. Ben practically purred at his touch.
Finally, Armie pulled his hand away. Ben watched as he unfolded himself from the floor. Armie stood, staring back at him. All he really wanted to do was stay in that hot, stuffy building, and kiss Ben. But at the same time, the fact that they Had kissed seemed a bit unreal.
Ben eyed the hand he extended, to help him up. Finally, taking it, he allowed himself to be pulled to his feet, "Can we, you know. Do more of that, later?" He pressed against him, threatening to break Armie's resolve to get back out on the field.
"Yes," he promised, and sealed it with a kiss.
*** **