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Frank's goofy pot giggle was almost too loud next to him, and Gerard couldn't help the quirk of his lips as he took the blunt from him.
He wasn't that funny, but Frank always seemed to think his jokes were some sort of comedy gold, especially when he was drunk or high. He puffed and passed to someone else, feeling Frank wriggle on the couch next to him, getting comfortable leaning against Gerard's shoulder.
Gerard leaned into the contact, feeling warm and happy. Letting himself zone out for a bit and just enjoy the rooms atmosphere.
It had been a while since he'd been to a real house party. Dorm parties weren't quite the same, and they usually didn't allow you to hang around smoking amidst the guests who'd had a bit too much to drink and decided a strangers floor was the best place to pass out.
Gerard was thankful he'd decided to pace himself tonight.
"Frankie's totally out, dude!" Mikey laughed from an arm chair across the room, and Gerard tilted his head to see Frank completely passed out against his shoulder.
Frank's hair was a mess of knots and glue and sweat, and he kinda smelled, and he was drooling on Gerard's best hoodie, but he didn't have the heart to disturb him. He looked kinda sweet, in a strange mutant porcupine sort of way.
"Eh, let him nap," Gerard shrugged his free shoulder carefully, "S' better to just let him sleep some of it off."
They changed topics to the set of original 1974 d&d dice Gerard had recently bought, and although he outwardly stayed focused on the conversation, he didn't miss when Frank shifted and curled one of his hands around the crook of his elbow, sighing near soundlessly into his now slightly damp shoulder.
It was nice. At art school he'd grown used to men who were a bit more open at expressing affection to their friends, and moving back to jersey and seeing how rigid the rock scene could be, moments like this felt extra special.
"Ah shit, it's getting late. Think they'll let us crash here?" Ray asked.
"Nah man, I don't wanna be here when they realize they have to clean. You good to drive?" Mikey sat up from his slouched position.
"Yeah," Ray turned to Gerard, "you get Frank, I'll warm up the car."
Gerard groaned and Mikey laughed as he ditched him. It was never easy to get Frank to cooperate when he was high. If he was smaller or Gerard was stronger he could probably carry him out. Not that there was anything wrong with Frank's weight, and he'd fight anyone who said otherwise, Gerard just couldn't lift him anymore.
"Frankie," Gerard nudged him with the shoulder he was sleeping on, "c'mon man, time to go." Nothing.
Gerard sighed, he probably shouldn't have let him nap in the first place.
"Dude." he shook him, getting a small tired groan in response. He started to get up, but Frank grabbed around his waist and whined, "noooooo."
Gerard huffed a laugh, "don't be such a baby, dude, you can sleep in the car."
"But I don't wanna move." Frank fucking nuzzled Gerard, like a big cat.
Gerard rolled his eyes, "I'll leave without you, and they'll make you clean."
Frank frowned but sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Fine."
Gerard bit back a laugh, he looked like an angry toddler with a patchy 5 o'clock shadow. He almost wanted to pinch his cheek.
Frank crossed his arms and pouted all the way to the car.
.
They'd been on tour for a few weeks, and Gerard regretted not bringing more blankets.
The vans heating was absolute shit.
He'd tossed and turned as much as he could while curled up in the back seat, but he just couldn't get comfortable.
The sound of empty cans and paper rustling disturbed the quiet and Gerard looked around in confusion, tired mind wondering if the trash had finally gained sentience and sought vengeance when Frank's head popped up by his feet.
"What are you doing?" Gerard whispered, unsure if he really wanted an answer of why exactly Frank was crawling under the van seats.
"Coming to keep you company." Frank crawled up onto the bench next to him, his eyes catching the streetlights.
Gerard stared at him. "You have trash in your hair."
Frank shook his head like a dog, "is it gone?" It wasn't.
"C'mere." Gerard detangled his arm from his blanket and brushed the trash, some kind of wrapper? From Frank's unnaturally orange faux hawk.
"Thanks man." Frank grinned.
"Sooooo..." Gerard trailed off, unsure what exactly Frank wanted.
"Oh, right," Frank reached down and grabbed his blanket from the floor, "so I was thinking, since it's so cold out, and we're the only ones still awake, maybe we could... like... double up our blankets and be twice as warm."
Gerard wasn't sure why Frank seemed almost bashful, it was a good idea.
He opened up his blanket, "yeah man, that's like, what survivalist's do."
He hadn't expected Frank to crawl right into his lap, but he could already feel himself getting warmer so he wasn't going to complain.
In the end they had both blankets snuggly wrapped around them and Frank was pressed against his chest, arms and legs around him like some kind of koala.
"Night Gee." Frank whispered, his breath warm on Gerard's neck.
"Night Frankie." Gerard responded, wrapping his arms loosely around the small of Frank's back.
Frank melted into the embrace, and soon he was out completely. Gerard followed not long after.
.
Maybe drenching themselves in fake blood when they couldn't shower wasn't the smartest idea.
Frank had ended up laying across Gerard's chest with his face in his neck, and one of Gerard's hands had ended up on the small of Frank's back under his shirt.
He could already tell that they were essentially glued together and that getting unstuck would definitely hurt.
He remembered most of last night's set, but he remembered stumbling back to the van less.
He remembered that it had been ridiculously hot out and they were already drenched in sweat, but Frank hadn't seemed to care when he crawled onto the bench seat next to him and almost immediately passed out on him.
Gerard didn't really mind, Frank was a comfortable weight and he didn't snore, so he just let him and fell asleep not long after.
He could tell by how deeply Frank was breathing that he wasn't going to be getting up anytime soon, so he decided that the whole glue blood thing was a problem for later and let himself drift off again.
May as well get a little more sleep in while he could.
.
He was reading some comics he'd bought in the last town they'd stopped in when Frank plopped down beside him on the couch, immediately resting his head on Gerard's shoulder.
Normally Gerard wouldn't comment on this, but he could feel the heat radiating from Frank like a mini furnace. "You ok Frankie?"
Frank shook his head, curling more into the blanket he'd brought with him. "Sick." He rasped.
Gerard reached a hand up to pet Frank's sweat damp hair, gently scratching his scalp the way he knew Frank liked.
He could feel Frank relaxing bit by bit, until he was out completely.
Gerard continued to read, but he was careful not to disturb Frank when he turned pages.
After getting the tour bus moments like this didn't happen all that often anymore, and he wouldn't lie and say he didn't miss it.
Well, he liked having his own bunk and personal space, but the cuddling had been nice.
Frank was an affectionate guy, it was sweet.
Gerard refused to go too far down that rabbit hole, however. It was one thing to cuddle with your best friend, it was another thing entirely to internally gush over him looking adorable curled up like that, cozy and comfortable.
It was a dangerous train of thought.
.
The mansion was even more eerie with Mikey gone, and Gerard flinched at every creak and groan the old building made.
He knew he should get some sleep. He'd been awake for over two days straight and he needed to sleep. He just couldn't.
The sound of his door opening startled him, but it was just Frank, looking just as restless as he felt.
Frank didn't even need to ask, Gerard moved over to make room and Frank curled up in the bed next to him.
It was comforting.
Frank slowly inched closer and closer, as if he was somehow being sneaky, and Gerard felt a small affection bloom between the cracks of his despair like a dandelion growing through pavement, or something. He'd think of a better metaphor when he woke up.
He sighed in mock exasperation and pulled Frank close, Frank seemed surprised but pleased, and they held each other close enough to drown out the leering presence of the house.
Frank, as always, fell asleep first, his head on Gerard's chest.
Gerard let himself watch him for once, letting the moment soften the jagged edges of his mind and soothe some of the ache in his chest.
It didn't fix anything, really. But it made it all so much more bearable.
.
The kiss wasn't something Gerard really planned. He'd just. Done it.
And Frank hadn't seemed to mind, he'd even kissed back, but Gerard still felt worried he'd messed everything up as he laid in his bunk after the show.
He was surprised when his curtain shifted and a familiar body weasled into the bunk next to him.
Frank's eye's were big in the near pitch blackness, and he licked his lips, staring at Gerard silently.
Gerard stared back, and Frank slowly leaned in closer, his nose bumping against Gerard's, and finally, finally they were kissing again. No audience, no cameras, just them.
It was short and sweet, Frank broke the kiss and cuddled up into Gerard's chest, and Gerard felt warm all over.
Frank was out like a light but Gerard stayed up, the last kiss replaying in his mind again and again.
Did it mean anything? Did he want it to mean anything?
Frank mumbled in his sleep and nuzzled him, and Gerard held him closer.
Whatever it meant, he'd do whatever he could to keep this.