Work Text:
Physical education is always a wild experience at Garreg Mach. Many students treat it like a matter of life-or-death while others don’t take it seriously at all. No house was safe from the chaos either.
“Come on, class, pick up those feet! Especially you two, Mercedes and Annette! I know you can both run faster than that!,” called Byleth.
“But professor it’s…a lot…harder…to talk…while running,” panted Mercedes.
“You can’t talk to me if you can’t catch up to me!” playfully teased Annette as she picked up her pace. Mercedes followed suit, but became increasingly red-faced and short of breath.
Mercedes despised P.E. as a whole, but enjoyed having a time where she could more freely socialize with her friends. Annette on the other hand loved the exercise. She was always full of energy and looked forward to being free from her chair during lectures.
“Hey Felix, do you ever pretend you're being chased by a horde of girls who want to date you?” asked Sylvain. The blue-haired swordsman didn’t respond.
“Do you ever pretend that?” asked Ingrid.
“Of course I do,” replied Sylvain.
“Well maybe if you put half as much effort into training as you did with skirt chasing, you wouldn’t have to pretend,” said Ingrid. Sylvain’s face reddened after hearing that, and not from the exertion of the run.
“He’s just trying to have a conversation,” said Ashe. “There’s no harm in that.”
“It’s pointless to do that with Felix now though. He tunes out anything that isn’t an imminent threat when running,” explained Dimitri.
“Ah, I see,” responded Ashe.
“It may be wise of you to do the same,” said Dedue. “Doing so conserves energy.”
“Aw, look at the cute bunny up ahead!” said Byleth.
“Did you say bunny?” asked Annette.
She broke into a full-on sprint and rocketed forward. Unfortunately, in her haste, Annette lost her footing and ended up crashing into Byleth. The two fell to the ground, and Dimitri then tripped over them, followed by Felix and the rest of the Blue Lions. Within the span of a few seconds, all nine of them were sprawled in a heap on the ground.
“Sorry,” apologized Annette sheepishly.
“Accidents happen, Annette,” replied Byleth. “Is everyone alright?”
“I’m alright!”
“I’m okay!”
“I am well.”
“Hey Felix, does your leg usually bend like that?”
“That’s my leg, Sylvain!”
“Oh, it belongs to Ingrid. That makes more sense.”
“My leg is fine, now please let go of it!”
“Up…down! Up…down!” called out Hanneman as he directed the Golden Deer in their pushup routine.
“Ow! My nail is chipped!” remarked Lorenz as he stopped his push-ups to examine his hand.
“Three of mine are, so stop complaining,” said Leonie as continued doing her push-ups.
“Well pardon me for taking pride in the state of my features,” snapped back Lorenz, but he resumed his exercise routine.
“Man this is great!” declared Raphael. “Why can’t we do this instead of written exams?”
“Because battles aren’t won with push-up contests,” replied Claude.
“They should though. It would prevent a lot of unnecessary bloodshed,” said Raphael.
Meanwhile, Lysithea, and Marianne were not having as much of a fun time as Raphael. Ignatz could barely see through the pain and the fog in his glasses, Lysithea was shaking like she was getting struck with a lightning spell, and Marianne had been stuck in the down position for the last several sets.
“Ignatz, could you-oof-stop breathing so loud?” Lysithea asked in an annoyed tone as sweat poured down her face.”
“I’m sorry, Lysithea. I need to breathe like this to get enough oxygen,” panted Ignatz.
“Do I really have to do this?” asked Hilda. “Everyone knows I’m no good at push-ups.”
“Really? I find that hard to believe considering that you’re currently doing them with one arm,” said Claude.
Hilda looked down and realized that he was right. While her right arm was taking part in the push-up process, the left was being used to straighten her hair.
“Agh! My arm! It hurts so bad!” cried out Hilda as she flopped to the ground and rolled over while clutching her right arm.
Hanneman shook his head at the sight. He knew she was faking it. Hilda was notorious for faking injuries to get out of doing pretty much anything physical. She had gotten smarter about it though and didn’t pull off her act right at the start anymore. He decided the best thing to do was let Hilda’s facade run its course.
“Goddess please strike us both down,” Marianne softly murmured. P.E. always made her feel especially awful and she hated seeing Hilda in pain, whether it be real or not.
“Well done, everyone! Once you hit fifty sit-ups, switch with your partner,” said Manuela.
“Goodness, Petra! You already did fifty!” remarked Dorothea in awe. “I knew you were good at these, but this must be a new record.”
“I find training my core to be the most enjoyable and rewarding,” explained Petra as she got up and placed her hands on Dorothea’s shoes.
“I don’t see how this will help me. I already know how to get up from lying down,” said Linhardt as begrudgingly did his reps.
“I do too. Why does Professor Manuela have to watch us do this?” remarked Bernadetta.
“Exercise is very important,” said Edelgard, who overheard Linhardt and Bernadetta’s exchange. “It builds a strong body and a strong mind.”
“Very true, Lady Edelgard,” called Ferdinand. “You and I should know that better than anyone else. I should know it more than you though.”
“Nobody cares,” said Hubert.
“Says the man who got one-shotted by Caspar the other day during a brawling exercise,” said Ferdinand.
“Heck yeah! Give me some skin!” piped Caspar as he moved his right hand from Ferdinand’s shoe to high-five him as Ferdinand removed his left hand from the back of his head.
“Now now, there’s no need to mock each other,” said Manuela. “Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.”
“But Hubert is such a feeble excuse for a noble,” said Ferdinand as he put his hands on Caspar’s shoes after doing his fiftieth rep.
“Need I bring up the time Dorothea annihilated both of you in grappling?” asked Hubert.
“I let her win!” exclaimed Ferdinand.
“So did I!” added Caspar.
“Did you both look of terror on your faces too?” asked Hubert. “And in your voices?”
“Yes!” said Ferdinand and Caspar at the same time, both with a sense of unease.
“Hubie, please,” urged Dorothea who didn’t want to see a petty squabble turn into a full-blown fight.
“I am remembering that,” said Petra. “What was it that Ferdinand was saying?”
“Petra, now is not the time,” said Edelgard.
“I believe it was something along the lines of ‘Please stop! I can’t die before having an heir!’” said Hubert in a surprisingly accurate impression of Ferdinand.
“That’s it! You’re going down!” yelled Ferdinand as he stood up and charged over to Hubert.
Caspar tried to restrain him and ended up getting an elbow to the face, which caused him to loosen his grip just enough for Ferdinand to escape his grasp. Caspar didn’t give up though and chased after him. Hubert got up and charged towards Ferdinand. Edelgard made no effort to stop him. She wanted Ferdinand to learn a lesson. Bernadetta screamed and made a mad dash away from the chaos and towards her room. Manuela placed her hands in her palms and regretted not calling out sick for the day.