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“Goddammit.”
This was the one word occupying Clyde’s mind, as he frantically prepared for his date with Thomas. As much as he was looking forward to the delicious food at Bucca de Faggocini, and especially Thomas and his bright, cute smile, at the same time he hadn’t felt this stressed in weeks.
Clyde stared at himself in the mirror, wearing nothing but his boxers. Today felt different, as what was usually confidence was now an overwhelming feeling of dread. Disgust. Anger, at himself. He tried to smile and pose normally but he just… couldn’t bring himself to.
What the hell was going on?
Why can’t I look decent, he asked himself as he stared into the mirror. Clyde scrutinized every little aspect of himself the more he stared. How his tummy was sinking out a bit. How his arms jiggled a bit when he moved them. How his body would shake every time he moved. He wasn’t fat, he knew it. And yet… he still wasn’t happy with himself. He was stuck in that awful middle ground where he looked skinny enough to pass in public, but not enough to confidently wear a bathing suit outdoors, not without feeling greatly insecure that people would stare at him and think “man, what a fat little shit.”
Clyde shook his head and decided to go try on his new suit instead. Get his mind off of these negative thoughts.
The suit was brand new, brought by his step mother Liane. She was so excited to help Clyde out with his date, perhaps even a little too excited. The suit she picked out was a navy blue color, with a cream yellow dress shirt and a blue striped tie to top it off. It wasn’t a bad color combination, and she insisted that Clyde would look “fabulous” in it.
Clyde slid into the pants and buttoned his shirt, tucking it in and tugging it a bit. He then looked at himself in the mirror, and frowned again. Man, did the shirt being tucked in only show off his belly even more. He desperately wanted to untuck it, but he knew Liane would never let him go on the date “looking like a bum,” as she calls it. She took these things very seriously.
At least I have the jacket, he thought to himself, as he put it on. But it didn’t make matters any better. Clyde turned to his side and could only think about how fat he looked in the suit. It was as if his stomach was growing with every second.
Clyde’s mind began to race. He started to sweat. He changed his style to try and find something, ANYTHING, that could make him look halfway decent. He began to panic as nothing seemed to work. Eventually he just gave up, shouting a cry of rage and frustration as he chucked the jacket against the mirror, knocking it down and shattering it.
Panting, he looks at the now broken mirror, and his heart fills with dread. Clyde slumped to the floor and sat in a crouched position, trying desperately to hold back his tears.
But he couldn’t.
He thought about how ugly he felt. How everyone mocked his weight. How… how he wasn’t good enough for Thomas.
Thomas was gorgeous. Clyde loved everything about him, from his dirty blonde hair to his shining green eyes. He always wondered how he managed to get someone so beautiful.
How DID he?
For Thomas was built like an angel and Clyde, well Clyde was just himself. A fat, pathetic loser. He couldn’t go on this date anymore, especially not with all that food. He couldn’t bear to eat another bite as long as he looked like this. Thomas would view him as a repulsive pig, and want nothing to do with him anymore. And he’d be right in believing so.
And this is when Clyde finally broke. Sitting alone in the middle of his room, he sobbed into his legs, not being able to bear getting back up, and even salvaging this disaster of a date.
What would Thomas think?
——————
Thomas eagerly rang on the doorbell, ecstatic about his date with Clyde. He was dressed in his beige suit, with an orange shirt underneath. It wasn’t much, but he knew Clyde would love it, at least he hoped.
The door was opened not by Clyde, but rather Cartman. The last person he wanted to see today.
“Oh, it’s you,” said Cartman with a bored tone.
“U-Uh is—DICK FARTS— Clyde here?” Thomas asked.
Cartman rolled his eyes. “He’s upstairs, still probably getting ready. Unless you wanna walk into him naked, and believe me I couldn’t give less of a fuck about how perverted you are, I wouldn’t recommend going up there.”
Thomas was a bit confused. “Alright, um, can I— COCK— use your bathroom then?”
Cartman groaned and stepped out of the way, letting Thomas inside. Not particularly needing to use the restroom, he instead went upstairs and walked through the hall, eventually locating Clyde’s room. Carefully, he knocked.
“Clyde?”
There wasn’t a response, however, Thomas could hear the sounds of faint weeping.
“Clyde, are you ok? AW SHIT!”
After still getting no response, Thomas grew a bit worried and gulped nervously.
“I-I’m coming in—BITCH!— Ok?”
Slowly, Thomas opened the door, to find a sobbing Clyde crouched on the ground, wearing his dress pants.
“Clyde!” Thomas ran to him and crouched beside his boyfriend, now extremely worried. “What’s wrong?! What happened?! COCKSUCKER!”
Clyde’s sobbing continued, and he spoke through shaky breaths. “W-What’s wrong with me?!”
Thomas was confused. “What do you mean?”
Clyde spoke again. “I-I was named the second fattest kid in school, behind Cartman! Everyone used to always make fun of how chubby I was! I-I can’t even look decent in this suit! What’s wrong with me?! What the FUCK is wrong with me?!”
Thomas’ heart sank. He placed his hand on Clyde’s shoulder. “Honey…”
Clyde turned his back towards Thomas. “H-How could you like me at all, after all this?! I probably disgust you, and now I’m ruining our date with my fucking childish problems!”
Clyde sniffed as he wiped his tears. “You deserve better, you deserve someone who isn’t revolting to look at.”
“Stop it.”
Clyde turns to face Thomas, who appears visibly angry.
“I won’t let you—FAG— shit on yourself like this. You’re beautiful the way you are Clyde, and don’t forget it!”
Clyde sniffed some more. “Y-You don’t need to lie to me—“
“I’m not!” Thomas now sat beside Clyde, wrapping his arm around him. “Last night I couldn’t sleep at all. The whole time— SHIT FARTS— I was thinking about you. How lucky I was to be with someone who was… who was—CUNT— so incredibly charming. I felt so lucky to be with someone as silly, adventurous, and kind as you were.”
Clyde looks at him, appearing to calm down.
“When I first came here you were the first guy to ever give me the time of day. PUSSY! You looked past my Tourette’s syndrome, and treated me like a person. And when you—ASS LICKER— defended me against those bullies… well I’ve never felt so cared for in my life.”
Thomas looks at him with a smile. “And that’s why I love you Clyde. You’re a truly—SHIT— amazing person, and I couldn’t be more lucky to have you as my boyfriend. You’re my world.”
Clyde clutched Thomas’ hands, now with tears of joy in his eyes. “Dude…”
Clyde then pulled Thomas into a tight hug, sobbing into his chest. Smiling, Thomas patted him in the back.
“I love you so much Clyde,” Thomas said.
Clyde let go. “I love you too, bro!”
Thomas grinned. “Plus, you look great just the way you are. ASSHOLE! Wanna know why?” He slowly and maliciously wiggles his fingers. “Because I get to do THIS!”
Thomas lunged at him and dug his fingers into Clyde’s tummy, surprise tickling him. Clyde fell over and began to laugh with tears in his eyes.
Eventually Thomas stopped to let Clyde catch his breath. As he stared at him, his face began to turn into a deep shade of red, and eventually so did Clyde’s. Before they knew it, they were engaged in a passionate kiss, Thomas taking the lead.
God knows how long they were there, before Thomas finally broke the kiss to catch his breath.
Clyde had a look of surprise. “Dude…”
Thomas got up and dusted himself off, before reaching out his hand to help Clyde up. “Now come up, let me help you get—SHIT FAG— dressed. I’m starving already!”
Clyde grinned and took Thomas’ hand, eager to get this date rolling.