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Blankly, I scroll my phone completely disinterested with every passing video. I huff out a quick sigh, turning to look at Luka who’s at his desk finishing a homework assignment on his computer he’d been delaying for a while. “Why is this so hard?” He mumbles, furrowing his brows at the screen. I can’t help but grin at his confusion.
“What class?” I ask. “Physical science. I’m on a lab project, and I can’t seem to figure out the answer to this one question.” I shut off my phone with a smile, walking over to him. “Let me see,” I say, hunching over the desk to level the computer with my eyes.
Reluctantly he turns the computer just enough to where we can both view it well. I read over the question, then input the answer confidently. “I think I’m right. I’m at least closer than you would’ve been.” I tease. He scoffs at my statement jokingly, though we both know it’s true regardless.
“Well, we’ll find out who’s actually smarter soon.” He says with a heart-stopping grin, turning the computer back to himself. I walk back to his bed, sitting myself down on it while I wait for him to finish. The room is silent, but my thoughts definitely aren’t. All I can think about is how he looked in his bathing suit last week, or how good he was at ice-skating yesterday, or how good his music and film taste is, or how comfortable the hoodie he lent me was.
Well, how comfortable it is . I keep “forgetting” it at my house, though I’m almost sure he’s caught on. He’s pretty smart with social cues and stuff like that, much to my dismay. Unsure of what to do while I wait, I plop myself backward on his blank mattress with an accidental ‘humph’. “If I'm right..” I start. I hum, thinking of what to say.
"If I'm right, I should get something. Like a reward!" I exclaim. He chuckles at my childish behavior. "A reward?" He questions. "Yeah. Like whatever I want." I answer. He hums, typing on his computer. "And if you're wrong?" He asks."Then you can get something." "Like what?" I shrug my shoulders, humming an "I don't know". "Whatever you want I guess."
He chuckled devilishly. "Deal."
Unsure of what to say, I boredly scan the room. I turn my head to my left, eyeing his acoustic guitar, his first guitar. It’s decorated with many stickers he’s collected and added over the years, the most noticeable is the large Jagged Stone sticker just near the bottom. There’s a few meme stickers, rights stickers, then one that catches my eyes. It’s a flag with blue, pink, and purple assorted on it neatly. I feel as if I’ve seen this before, but my thoughts are blanking.
“Hey Luka? If you don’t mind me asking, what does the flag on your guitar represent?” I ask, sitting up to look at him. He scrunches his face in confusion, keeping his eyes on the computer. “Flag?” He asks, hinting at elaboration. I nod. “Yeah. The sticker, it’s like blue, pink, and purple.” I describe. His face rests, revealing a soft smile. “Oh, it’s the bi flag.” He answers.
My heart thumps hard against my chest. “Are you bi?” I ask rhetorically. He grins, turning to face me. “Was that not obvious enough, blondie?” He teases. “Just making sure.” I defend, putting my hands up. He turns back to his computer, beginning to work again. I sigh silently, bored out of my wits. “Sometimes it seems you might be a little fruity too.” He blurts out with a teasing grin, glancing at me from the side.
“Oh, no I don't really- I don't think I..” I trail off, unsure how to answer. My face flushes, he seems to notice but he doesn't say a word about it. Luka furrows his brows, turning to me with a puzzled expression. “Are you unsure?” He asks genuinely. “A bit.” I answer sheepishly. “That's okay, I get it. It took me a while to figure it all out too. Take your time, don’t rush yourself.” He advised.
I layed back on his bed with a soft ‘humph’. I began to wonder how he knew. I wonder if it was as simple as a boy crush, or as drastic as a party game. I furrow my brows, debating on asking him. I decide not to, feeling as that’d be invading. My mind wanders, wondering when I began feeling this way. Maybe it was when we started school together, or when we met for the first time.
I smile at the memory, remembering each and every detail from the day. It started off as a hangout. I met up at a small fair at the beginning of the school year with Marinette, Alya, Nino, Rose, Ivan, Max, Kim, Mylene, Alix, Rose, and Juleka. Afterwards, some of us had gone back to Julekas for dinner because it was close by.
Marinette and I had been carrying some drinks and snacks over to the group, but she’d tripped and spilled them over me by accident, making me drop the tray I’d been holding. Both of us had ended up soaking wet with a mess on the ground in front of us. Juleka guided us to her room where she grabbed Marinette fresh clothes, and introduced me to Luka. “I think he’ll be of more help to you, I’m sure you’ll get along well too.” I remember her saying with a grin.
Maybe she knew what she was doing when she left me in that room alone with him, either way I’m extremely grateful for it. I smile wider, remembering how understanding and sweet he was. I sigh softly, now understanding that had to be the moment I began to have feelings for him. Before I could even think of what I was saying, I blurted out “Hey, Luka? How did you know?”. Immediately realizing what I asked, I jot back to a sitting position.
“Sorry, that’s not my business. You don’t have to answer.” I immediately follow. He smiles, still focused on his computer. “Don’t worry about it, I’m an open book. I’m almost done with this, I’ll tell you after. If you’re comfortable, want to go grab some chouquettes from the kitchen? No one else is home, but if you don’t feel comfortable I understand.”
I smile softly, nodding my head. “Yeah, I can do that. Do you want anything to drink?” I ask, heading towards the door. “Just grab me a sprite from the fridge if you don’t mind. You’re welcome to whatever you’d like.” He answered. With that, I’m out of the room and to the kitchen.
My mind wanders as I grab plates, wondering what he’ll say to me. As I place the chouquettes, I wonder if I’ll be able to admit my feelings. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to admit my feelings. Then I wonder what my father will say, what my mother would have said. I wonder what my friends will say, and I wonder what the news will say. I wonder if I’ll lose followers, or if I’ll gain some. I don’t care much about my fame, though I do wonder how people will react.
Finally having a full plate of chouquettes followed by two sprite cans, so I head back to his room with adrenaline pumping through my veins. When I enter the room again, Luka’s already sitting on his bed. I sit criss-crossed in front of him, placing down the cans of sprite and plate of chouquettes. “Thank you for grabbing these.” He started. I smiled and nodded, eager to hear his story.
“I think I was about 14 when this happened?” He began, opening his can of sprite with a loud pop. “I was at a school dance with my best friend at the time. Through the evening, I’d found myself realizing I had a crush on her boyfriend.” He winced, cringing at the story. My jaw dropped. “No way! What happened after that??” I ask intrigued, picking up a chouquette.
“Well, he noticed me eyeing him and pulled me out of the room to talk with him. I don’t know why, but I just blurted out that I just realized I was bi. He told me he was too, then he tried to kiss me. Even though I liked him, I pushed him off. I wouldn't let someone cheat on someone else with me. Shortly after, he moved out of state. So there really isn’t much to tell, but it was definitely a bit hectic.” He finished, sipping his drink.
“Wow, that’s insane!” I chuckle. He nods his head. “Yeah.” We both stay silent for a few moments, both of us eating and drinking casually. “What made you start questioning? If you’re comfortable.” I shrug casually. “I think I started liking this guy.” I answer. He smiled widely, leaning towards me. “Ooo, who?” He pestered.
“I’ll tell you if..” I trail off, looking around the room humming. My eyes spot his laptop, sparking an idea. “I’ll tell you if I get the answer on your project wrong. That's what you can get, you can get my answer.” I say with a grin. He grins, backing away from me. "Fine by me." He states. I nod my head, tossing another chouquette in my mouth. I’d passed physical science with an A+, so I knew I’d get it right. He rises from the bed, walking to his computer.
“I’m not sure if I’ve gotten an email back yet. I don't know when I will if I haven’t yet, but hopefully I will soon.” He said, scrolling his computer to his email probably. My heart thumps fast in my chest, anticipation killing me. Part of me wants to get that answer wrong so I have to tell him, though the other part doesn't want him to get that wrong because of me.
He smiled brightly, turning to face me with a cheeky grin. "I got my results." He stated, sitting down in his chair quickly. I leaped off his bed, joining him at his desk. He quickly opened the graded version, disregarding the rest of the questions he scrolled down to question 23, the question I answered. My heart raced faster than ever.
"Q23" The screen read. " X" stood next to it with the number zero, stating I'd gotten it wrong. He chuckled. "No way! Just my luck I guess." He teased, facing me with a knowing grin. Red blush coated my face as I turned to walk back to his bed. I wasn't exactly prepared for the answer to actually be wrong, I'd expected it to be right. "Oh no you don't." He said, pulling me back towards him.
Before I could argue, he spun me around, holding me in place in front of him. "You have to tell me now. You said you would." He cooed at me. I smiled softly at him. "Luka.” I answered. He nodded his head with a hum, urging me to answer, even though I just had. “Yeah. That’s who.” I said with a grin.
He furrowed his brows at me in confusion. “Wait, what do you mean?” He asked. I couldn’t help but chuckle at him. “Luka, I like you.” I said frankly. His brows raised, widening his eyes in the process. “You do? ” He seemed pretty stunned. I nodded my head, turning back to sit on his bed. “Yeah. If you don’t feel the same, that's okay! You just asked, and I didn’t want to lie.” I said frankly.
Sitting down on his bed, I was now facing him again. He grinned, walking to the spot beside me. “I do.” He sat next to me, turning to look at me. “You do?” I asked. Now I was the one who was surprised. He nodded his head, placing his hand atop mine. “Yeah.” We both stayed silent for a few moments, unsure where to go next. “Where does this place us?” I ask.
“Well, I’d like you to be my boyfriend, but if you’re not ready for that or don’t want that then that’s completely okay.” “I do want that! Yes. I will gladly be your boyfriend.” I couldn’t help but cheekily grin, but he did the same. I also couldn’t keep my eyes off his lips. He only grinned wider. “Want something?” He teased.
“Uhm..” I mumbled, unsure what to say. He chuckled at my nervousness, placing his free hand against my cheek. “May I?” He asked. I nodded my head, leaning closer to him. It felt as if it took forever to reach him, to finally connect, but once the gap was finally closed I felt at home.