Work Text:
Feb.9.22. - Growth.
Today, I grew up, I think. Not physically, of course. I think my growth plates have stopped moving a long time ago. I meant, I grew up mentally. Yesterday, I wouldn’t have been able to say no to something I don’t feel comfortable doing, but today I was able to—
“Why aren’t you dressed yet?”
Yeji’s hand halts on top of her journal, accidentally smearing a line on the page. She looks up to her open bedroom door to find Ryujin coolly leaning one shoulder against the doorframe, arms crossed, one eyebrow raised.
“I just got dressed?” Yeji answers confusedly. They all just got back from an activity, earlier than usual, so she has changed into something comfortable for lounging around the dorm. She has no idea what Ryujin just asked.
Ryujin sighs dramatically, like Yeji just made a grave offense. “You forgot, didn’t you?”
Yeji furrows her eyebrows, now even more confused.
“I won the game yesterday.”
“Aaah!” It finally dawns on the older girl that she promised to buy Ryujin a dinner yesterday when she won the boxing game in the arcade. She’s quick to flash Ryujin a sheepish smile because she knows the effect it has on the girl. She also adopts a cute voice just to be safe. “I’m sorry. I got caught up with something today and it just slipped my mind.”
Ryujin merely narrows her eyes at her.
It’s then that Yeji notices that Ryujin is already dressed in something casual, nothing that reveals any brand name at all. It’s something she prefers to wear when she doesn’t want to get recognized outside, because wearing branded and obviously extravagant clothes attracts a lot of attention. People would notice the clothes first, then the person wearing it, and they all want to avoid that as much as possible.
“Give me five minutes to get dressed, and then I’ll get you dessert on top of dinner too!”
Yeji stands up to push Ryujin out her door and slams it to her face. She goes back to her table to draw a heart where she accidentally smeared the ink on her journal, then proceeds to get dressed.
Behind the door, Ryujin blinks twice, still not over the smile Yeji just brutally sent her way, so she didn’t really catch whatever Yeji just said before she was pushed out. She then shrugs, puts her hands into her pockets, and walks to the living room to wait for the older girl.
As she sinks into the soft cushion of the sofa, she remembers how she had been quiet yesterday during their arcade date. She didn’t notice it at first until her manager surreptitiously sent her a text telling her to perk up a little bit.
They can’t blame her, though. She hates it. There were so many people in such an enclosed space, and there were at last three other people on their team, following them around. It’s not a kind of date Ryujin wants to be in. A date is something intimate. She would very much rather they sneak into a mall with just the two of them and then tell everyone about it only days later—definitely not being followed around by cameras. But the fact that it’s a part of her job makes it difficult to avoid being placed in such a position.
So she decided today is her—their chance.
No cameras, no other people. Just two girls who want to spend private time together. As long as they don’t get recognized, that is. So they’d have to be extra careful. It’s a good thing their schedule finished early, so there’s still some time left to cash in that free dinner voucher Yeji owes her. And it’s not even about that deal, either. She just really wants to make it up to Yeji for being so caught up inside her own head yesterday.
Yeji doesn’t have to know about that last bit, though. For all she knows, Ryujin is just making good on a promised dinner.
“I’m ready!”
Ryujin is pulled away from her musings when Yeji finally walks out of her room. She’s dressed in simple black jeans, leather boots, and a soft green sweater. A brown trench coat is hanging on one arm, a bag on the other, and her hair is tied loosely behind her neck so that a few strands of fringe are softly framing her temples.
Ryujin gets on her feet like a soldier commanded at attention, because that’s what Yeji does so naturally—command attention. And the best part is, she doesn’t even know she has that effect to unsuspecting people.
“I told Chaeryeong I’m eating out with you, so she’ll tell the others to not wait up for us.”
Yeji nods, an excited smile on her lips. “Let’s go?”
“Okay.”
Yeji immediately takes Ryujin’s arm as they walk out of the dorm. Their feet naturally take them into the elevator and out the building’s main entrance, its lock automatically clicking closed behind them. Since it’s not a scheduled trip, they don’t have a driver to chauffer them around.
A cold breeze welcomes them into the streets and Yeji shivers; it’s the last bits of winter trying to cling on. Ryujin already has her long coat on, so it’s almost automatic how she helps Yeji into hers as they walk. Yeji gives her a grateful smile, that small mole on her right cheek beautifully bracketed by a dimple. Ryujin thinks she could get drown in that shallow dip if she’s not careful.
“You know,” Yeji opens as they turn a corner into another street.
They will be taking a cab on a random block away from their dorm, a routine they all do in case taxi drivers recognized them, at least no one would know where exactly they live.
“Hm?”
“What you’re wearing right now…”
Ryujin raises a challenging eyebrow at Yeji, daring her to say something bad about her gray long coat, a black turtle neck underneath accented with a silver necklace, and a black pair of pants on top of mid-cut sneakers. Yeji only chuckles, shaking her head at how defensive Ryujin can get.
“It’s not a bad thing. I secretly call it your K-Drama Leading Man Outfit because you look handsome in it,” Yeji continues amidst her giggles.
Ryujin looks incredulously at her, and if the red on her cheeks isn’t caused by the cold breeze, Yeji doesn’t have to know.
“I don’t know if that’s a jab at my fashion sense or a compliment, unnie.”
Yeji pulls Ryujin’s arm closer to her chest, jostling her a little bit. “It’s a compliment, Ryujin-ah! It looks really good on you.”
Ryujin playfully rolls her eyes, but under her ribs her heart is trying to claw its way out. She may be known as the flirtiest in their group, but Yeji is the one who randomly throws around compliments like they’re free. Her intention is not even to flirt, she’s just voicing out her honest thoughts, and that’s exactly how Ryujin knows that whatever compliment she says is true.
“Fine. You don’t look bad yourself,” Ryujin murmurs.
Yeji’s smile only grows bigger—if it’s even possible—as she pushes Ryujin’s shoulder playfully, because she also knows that Ryujin doesn’t just throw around compliments and when she says them, she means them.
Soon enough, they arrive at the bus stop and it doesn’t take them long to catch a taxi. Ryujin mentions an unfamiliar place to the driver, which had Yeji’s eyebrows rising.
“Where are we going?”
Ryujin smiles mysteriously at her and has the audacity to wink. “Just trust me.”
***
“My trust in you is now officially non-existent.”
Ryujin scrunches her eyes close and slaps her forehead, busy internally berating herself that she doesn’t notice Yeji’s teasing tone. In her defense, this trip is also unplanned for her. She just remembered the deal earlier in the afternoon, and she had thought of a place a little farther from their dorm on a whim. Thus, she forgot to check if the restaurant is even open tonight. She just assumed it would be, because it’s the middle of the week. Who closes at 7pm on a Wednesday?
This restaurant, apparently.
“Aish…”
“Hey.” Yeji caresses Ryujin’s arm, suddenly serious. “It’s okay. I’m sure we’ll find another restaurant around here.”
Ryujin looks down at her feet with a sigh, a pout on her lips. “I wanted us to try this place for the first time together. My brother said it’s really nice.”
Yeji puts a palm to Ryujin’s cheek, carefully lifting her face so their eyes meet. She smiles even brighter than the streetlights, consoling Ryujin like she’s five. “We’ll come back another day, hm?”
Ryujin is rendered stoic for a moment, confused how there’s still light in Yeji’s eyes even as their plan falls apart. It’s one of her many talents, it turns out. Granted, their current situation is a small setback, but even in their daily life, if something awful happens to her, or their group, or nothing seems to go right, Yeji is always the first one to stand up and try again. How can she keep being determined all the time? Doesn’t that get tiring? It’s a mystery Ryujin has never been able to solve in all the years she’s known the older woman.
Drowning in the dark pools of Yeji’s eyes, Ryujin decides she’s done sulking. She swore she’d make up to Yeji today, and her sulking won’t do that. This is nothing but a small delay, so Ryujin inhales deep and perks up. Tonight is not the time to feel defeated. They may be unlucky with their first choice, but Yeji is right, they can find another place.
“Okay. Next time, it’s my treat.”
Yeji chuckles. “I’ll remember that.”
She then pulls Ryujin away from the dark establishment without really knowing where to go. All she knows is that she needs to entertain Ryujin for a couple of minutes until she stops berating herself about forgetting to check if the restaurant was open. So, Yeji starts talking. It’s what she’s good at. She starts with her last trip to her grandma’s place, which was months ago now, maybe even a year. She’d lost track of days, honestly. She’s just glad all these unrecorded days are spent with Ryujin, the girls, and the occasional calls from her parents.
Eventually, her story takes her to their arcade date yesterday. They have both experienced the event, so even Ryujin also starts pitching in her point of view. She’s in the middle of explaining why she’s good at archery when all of a sudden an angry rumble is heard from the sky. Ryujin abruptly stops talking and walking.
“Oh, no.”
They look up at the sky, only now noticing they’ve walked a little farther from the closed restaurant earlier and hasn’t really thought much about where they’re going. They’ve entered a park, and it looks like everyone got the notice that it might rain tonight because it’s empty except for them. Obviously, Ryujin and Yeji didn’t get the memo, because in the next second, a droplet falls onto the rubberized pavement.
The drops are still small and slow. Ryujin starts calculating what they can do. After looking around, she notices that there’s a roofed shed at the edge of the park before it meets the empty road.
“Let’s shelter there quickly.” She points at the roof peeking behind the trees, and Yeji nods.
She immediately takes Yeji’s hand and together they run towards it. They haven’t even taken their ninth step yet when the clouds finally give in to the weight of its contents. The rain falls fast and hard. They try to run faster, but then Yeji’s hand slips out of Ryujin’s wet hand. She looks back in panic, worried Yeji might have slipped. But she didn’t. Ryujin’s feet stops midway to a step as she falls entranced at the sight, momentarily forgetting her concerns of getting wet.
Because there she is—the company’s generational shift, the future of the country’s music industry, their secret weapon, the industry standard—Hwang Yeji, standing contentedly under the rain with her eyes closed, head tilted up and lips smiling widely.
The lights on the walkway are yellow, and their glow cascades down Yeji’s hair, the droplets stuck in them and on her shoulders twinkling attractively. The surrounding trees are aglow in yellow as well, except for the dark areas not reached by the light. The pavement glitters with the rain, and as the liquid falls and catches the light, they look like a million stars falling all around the brunette.
It’s an image Ryujin wants to remember forever. She’s not mentally present enough to fish out her phone’s camera, but she trusts her stuttering heart would.
“The rain feels good, Ryuddaeng!” Yeji announces delightedly, now spinning carefully in place, the wind playing nicely with her loose ponytail.
The rain starts falling even harder, and all Ryujin can think is god, I’m so in love with her.
Because which adult would stop their pursuit of a shelter only to welcome the rain with open arms? Who would look this good with their hair stuck to their forehead and their jacket slowly getting soaked? Whose laugh would echo in the night as they giggle jubilantly despite all their good plans going to shit? Whose smile is brighter than the street lights in spite of the gloomy weather?
Only Hwang Yeji.
And for that, only Hwang Yeji owns Shin Ryujin’s heart.
A particularly strong wind breezes by, and Ryujin is brought to present by the shivers. The worry starts creeping in. Yeji looks happy, but they might get sick if they don’t take shelter soon, so even if she hates the thought of doing it, Ryujin walks closer to the older girl and takes her hand.
“You can’t get sick, unnie.”
Yeji pouts, but allows Ryujin to take her away. They resume running and arrives at the shelter in no time. Ryujin shivers, hands vigorously rubbing her own arms. She then removes her damp jacket before putting it on the bench at the back of the shallow shelter. She helps Yeji out of hers, and after wiping her wet hands on her pants, making sure they’ve warmed up enough, she rubs Yeji’s arms as well.
“Aish, you shouldn’t have done that. We’re always physically tired lately, what if you get sick tomorrow? Our managers are going to get angry.”
Yeji lets the younger woman fret about her for a second, before saying, “There’s a better way, you know.”
Before Ryujin can react, Yeji slips her arms around her waist, tightly clasping around her torso. She sighs at the contact, basking in Ryujin’s warmth the same way she just enjoyed the rain.
“Now we’re both warm.”
“Your hair is wet,” Ryujin dumbly says, trying to act irritated. “My shirt is absorbing it.”
It’s not her worry, though. Her shirt can get wet for all she cares. She’s just worried Yeji might hear the way her heart is beating its way out of her throat, in the same rhythm as the patter of the rain on the roof. Does Yeji even know she has this effect on her? She seems unaware, but Yeji has definitely gotten better at her acting from all the times they had to play that mafia game, so Ryujin can’t even tell anymore.
“But it’s warm here.”
Ryujin shivers before finally wrapping her arms around the older woman. “If you didn’t stop to bathe in the rain then we wouldn’t be as cold.”
Yeji merely whines, and answers by obnoxiously rubbing her cheek on Ryujin’s shoulder, purposely letting her hair rub onto the girl’s shirt and face.
Ryujin clicks her tongue, to which Yeji responds with, “You love it.”
Of course she does, but Ryujin won’t admit that.
“Sometimes I regret letting you take whatever you want from me.”
Yeji pulls back to pout at Ryujin. She studies the younger woman’s face, eventually coming to a conclusion.
“You don’t mean that.”
The smile Ryujin is trying to hold in finally breaks free as she chuckles. “You’re right. I don’t.” She pushes the wet hair out of Yeji’s forehead, tucking them behind her ears. When she speaks again, her voice is so deep the rain almost drowned it out. “I’ll let you take everything… and then some.”
The thing about Yeji is that she’s not very good at hiding her feelings from the people who really knows her, and Ryujin is decidedly fascinated by the way the pink starts to creep from her neck to her cheek. She doesn’t break eye contact, still defiant to the last second, but Ryujin knows she’s caught the older woman unprepared with the confession.
It leaves Yeji speechless for a handful of heartbeats, until a nice smell distracts her. She sniffs, trying to figure out if she imagined it or not.
“Do you smell that?”
Ryujin starts sniffing too and, always the expert when it comes to food, she confirms it. “It smells like someone is cooking.”
They look around the park. They’re right at the end, by the exit gate, and after that is an open road. It’s empty too, but on the curb, there’s a tall red tent with smoke coming out of it. It’s one of those pop-up street diners next to relatively safe and idle roads. They must have walked quite a distance, because they haven’t seen one of these around their dorm or company building in a while.
Ryujin looks questioningly at Yeji, worried maybe she wouldn’t like to try such a humble place, regardless of how hungry they are. They’re public figures, after all, and they’ve been served with good food every day ever since debuting. Ryujin has no problems with it, it’s not like she hasn’t eaten in one of these before, but it might be different for Yeji.
All her worries evaporate into the thin air, though, when Yeji smiles excitedly and says, “It’s perfect.”
They check their jackets and after concluding that Yeji’s is already compromised, Ryujin made her wear the gray long coat. They use Yeji’s jacket as a makeshift umbrella, held over both their heads, and runs towards the park exit. When they burst through the plastic flaps acting as doors to the tent, Ryujin’s left shoulder is wetter than it was before.
“Good evening,” they kindly greet the small, old woman manning the tiny kitchen pressed at one end of the tent, followed by an apology for coming in the way they did. They’re directed to a small table, and the folding chairs creak almost dangerously as they take a seat. They realize the place is empty, which is ideal.
“We only serve samgyeopsal and some side dishes tonight,” the old woman softly says. She’s hunched and the white of her hair is almost red from the reflection of the tent. She must be past the retirement age, but she’s still working so late at night that the younger women immediately feel bad at having her move around.
“That will be fine, halmoni,” Yeji answers, a kind smile on her lips.
The old woman nods and begins to prepare the side dishes and meat.
Despite being stuffy from the fire used for cooking, it’s still relatively cold inside. Yeji doesn’t miss the way Ryujin shivers, so she immediately takes off the jacket Ryujin gave her and puts it around the younger woman.
“I don’t need it, Yeddeong.” Ryujin tries to fight, but Yeji eventually wins.
“Just wear it, you can’t get sick too. Your shirt is wet and I’m relatively dry, so.” Yeji finishes with a glare just to make sure Ryujin won’t take it off.
“Fine.” Ryujin pouts.
And then, Yeji starts rummaging around her bag. Finding what she’s looking for, she grins widely at Ryujin. Before Ryujin knows it, a handkerchief is covering her eyes and Yeji is carefully wiping the water off her hair.
“I can do it myself,” Ryujin complains despite loving the attention.
“But I want to,” Yeji insists, to which Ryujin doesn’t fight against.
She lets the older woman take care of her and murmurs a thank you when she’s done. Yeji only smiles at her, booping her nose with a forefinger. She then removes her hair tie, letting her wet hair fall loose, and starts wiping her own hair too. Ryujin watches, entranced despite the ends of her frizzy hair sticking in every direction. To anyone it would look funny, but to Yeji it looks attractive, like it’s intentional.
The clanging of glass plates bring Ryujin to her feet, quick to meet the old woman halfway and taking the food tray into her own hands. She bows, and says, “Thank you. We can open the grill ourselves too, halmoni.”
The old woman smiles thankfully, then goes back behind the cooking area, quietly taking a seat to—they assume—rest.
Ryujin puts the food down on their table and, together, they figure out how to turn on the grill. When the fire finally clicks to life, they high-five happily. Because she’s impatient when it comes to food, Ryujin is the first one to start laying out as much meat as the grill can fit. When she looks back at Yeji, the woman is deep in thought.
“What is it?”
“This atmosphere…”
“Hm?” Ryujin looks around the dainty place. There’s nothing special with it, all pop-up eateries look like this. The chairs and tables are designed for quick packing, even the set-up of the makeshift kitchen. The lights are dim, reflecting the red off the tent, casting everything in a red hue. The rain is still pelting hard onto the plastic tarps of the tent, and an occasional vehicle is passing by on the road, the sound far enough not to scare them.
“A soju would fit nicely, wouldn’t it?” Yeji asks seriously.
Ryujin narrows her eyes, a warning. It’s late at night in the middle of the week, they’re also in the middle of projects, so getting inebriated isn’t very ideal. And for it to come from her own leader? Wild.
“Plus, it will help warm us up!” Yeji reasons. “Please, Ryuddaeng.”
The hands pressed together, the pout, and the puppy eyes are all Ryujin’s undoing. She eventually sighs in defeat.
“Fine. But just one bottle, okay?”
Yeji squeals happily then proceeds to take her wallet to where the small kitchen is. She speaks softly to the old woman, pays for their meal and the drink, and goes back to their table with the soju. As they eat, Ryujin realizes that Yeji is right; the food does taste better with the beverage. And her toes, previously freezing inside her unlined sneakers, starts feeling warm. As she watch Yeji eat and tell a story passionately with matching hand movements, her ears and cheeks start feeling warmer too.
It really cannot be helped, Ryujin fears, that she’s always reduced to a quiet mess when she’s with Yeji. Okay, maybe her being quiet yesterday wasn’t entirely because of the filming crew, but also because of the fact that she’s with Hwang Yeji. The woman literally has all of Ryujin’s strings wrapped around her pretty fingers. She can pull one and make Ryujin do anything, like a puppet. And she doesn’t even know it. She’s just so naturally herself—pure and precious and innocent.
Before she can stop herself, Ryujin interrupts Yeji in the middle of a story with a, “Have you never been hurt before, Yeddeong?”
Because a person like her who looks at the world through rose-colored glasses couldn’t have been hurt before, right? Take Ryujin for example, her past experiences with school like bullies and such, and the industry she’s working in now, has brought her a lot of pain so she is who she is now—sometimes skeptical, doubtful, and occasionally unable to enjoy a positive thing because she’s scared it may have a negative consequence later.
Yeji is nothing like that.
When she loves, she loves fully like no one has taken advantage of it before. When she’s happy, she laughs with her whole heart like no one’s told her she’s loud before. When she smiles, she smiles with all her teeth showing, dimples in full display. She barely even cries, and when she does it’s because of too much happiness.
How does a person not put up a wall to protect themself in a world as brutal as theirs?
Yeji takes a shot, a glint in her eyes. “What do you mean? I get injured all the time. Remember The Fan? Also, just last week I stretched the wrong muscle at the gym, and the other day, I hit my small toe on the table so hard I almost cried. I even hurt my neck by sleeping in the wrong position.”
“Emotionally, I mean,” Ryujin clarifies.
Yeji finally turns serious, the alcohol starting to take its effect as her blinks go slow. There’s a barely noticeable slur in her words too. Ryujin decides then that she’s not taking another shot. She’d let Yeji enjoy her drink, but one of them has to be sober enough to take them home.
“Of course.” Yeji pours herself another drink and downs it. “There was a… boy.”
Ah.
“When I was in the dancing academy. I liked him enough to panic when he smiled at me. But, even then, I knew I’m going to be what and who I am today, so I didn’t even think about doing anything about it. It was my first significant sacrifice for my dream.”
Ryujin busies herself with cooking more meat, but is listening attentively.
“And even when the day came that I’ve achieved my dream, I thought all would be rainbows and butterflies, but there were so many challenges that hurt me too. Getting here wasn’t easy, you know that, and being here is still not easy either.”
Ryujin nods quietly with a hum.
“Aside from that, sometimes my parents would fight and that hurts. That one time you and I fought, that had hurt. Sometimes I’ll miss Insam and Hongsam and that hurts. Sometimes our group doesn’t reach our goals and that hurts. But, despite all of that, I simply refuse to be defeated.”
Ryujin watches the fire grow in Yeji’s eyes, and that’s how she knows Yeji is speaking from the heart. Maybe she’s thankful for the alcohol, because otherwise it won’t be as easy to make Yeji talk about her feelings. She’s known as the most talkative in their group, but in reality it’s all just a deflecting tactic, because she can talk about anything and everything except for her deep, true feelings. So Ryujin recognizes this as a rare moment.
“Every day I wake up and choose to be happy. It’s what the adults don’t tell us, Ryujin—that happiness is a choice. We don’t find it, or earn it—we make it.” The serious moment passes with a blink, and Yeji comes back to her jovial self. “Because there’s so many things to be happy about, Ryujin! Like how my parents are making their relationship work, how my sister is happy with her marriage, how I have Hongsam and Insam to greet me when I come home, how the summer sun is so warm, how the flowers bloom beautifully, how so many people we don’t personally know genuinely care about us, how our managers take care of us well, how I have the four of you to wake up to every day, how…”
Yeji then leans closer to Ryujin, resting her chin on the younger woman’s shoulder. “… the stars in your eyes glimmer when you look at me.”
Ryujin gulps, their faces too close for comfort. But she’s further gravitated closer to Yeji and she’s too pliant to fight it. She studies the woman’s face from her pink lips, the shallow dimple on her cheek, the mole on her cute nose, then finally the attractive curve of her eyes. Her lips part, and Yeji willingly tilts her head so Ryujin can close their distance and put her lips against Yeji’s forehead for a moment that seems to be only theirs, blanketed in the privacy provided by the sound of the unrelenting rain. She nuzzles her nose on Yeji’s hairline after, and the tips of her nose must be cold, but Yeji sighs contentedly anyway like a cat finally finding a good patch of sunlight on the grass.
Ryujin wants to say I’m in love with you, you own my heart and everything I have, I’d die and live again for you, I’ll run away with you if you ask, but the words remain stuck in her throat. She realizes she doesn’t have to, though, as she feels Yeji press a smile against her jaw—because she knows.
She knows.
So Ryujin retreats to what she knows best—jokes—and says, “Doesn’t my skin glimmer too?”
Yeji creases her eyebrows, confused.
“You know, like in your favorite movie Twilight.”
Yeji pulls away to laugh joyfully, lightly slapping Ryujin’s arm. “In a moment like this, really, Ryujin?”
Ryujin chuckles despite herself. She had to say something, and it was the first thing she thought of. It brought them to a safe place, at least, as she checks at the owner of the eatery worriedly. She sighs in relief at seeing the woman seemingly unbothered by Yeji’s loud voice and looks to be napping in her chair. They haven’t been made out, so that’s a good thing.
“Although, Edward’s shimmery skin is cool,” Yeji says with a mischievous look sent to Ryujin over a newly filled shot glass.
Ryujin shakes her head, chuckling, and pretty soon they pick up on their lighthearted conversation. By the time the rain stops, Yeji has finished the alcohol and Ryujin has finished the meat. Ryujin realizes late that she gave Yeji too much credit when it came to her alcohol tolerance, because now the older woman can barely keep her eyes open, considerably tipsy.
Worried, she puts a hand on Yeji’s pink cheek. It’s warm. “Are you okay? Can you walk?”
“Of course!” Yeji insists, voice a little too loud.
“Yeah no,” Ryujin decides. “Nuh-uh.”
It’s already late, so they have to get home soon or the others would worry. She starts tidying their table and packing their things. She slings both her and Yeji’s bag across her torso, a definite sign that Yeji is inebriated because she doesn’t even fight. She also made Yeji wear her jacket before tying the wet one around her waist. Her pants might absorb the water, but that’s better than staying out later than they have to.
Ryujin then stands up, but before she can assist Yeji, music starts coming off from Yeji’s bag. She fumbles with opening the clasps and finds her phone ringing. She curses inwardly at the caller ID: Umma.
“Your mom is calling,” Ryujin panics.
Yeji smiles up at her, eyes heavy-lidded. She tries to languidly take the phone off Ryujin’s hand and fails. “I can take a call, Ryujin.”
“You can’t even speak properly. She’ll notice you drank and then she might get disappointed.”
“I can’t let it go to voicemail, she’ll worry,” Yeji insists.
“Aish,” Ryujin hisses before pressing a finger against Yeji’s lips, eyes screaming don’t talk. She presses the accept call button and respectfully greets, “Hello, imo.”
“Oh, hello?” Mrs. Hwang answers, confused.
“Imo, this is Ryujin. Yeji-unnie fell asleep on the couch and I didn’t want your call to go to voicemail in case it might be important. Do you want me to wake her up?” Ryujin lies through her teeth, hoping the older woman won’t say yes.
Yeji starts giggling drunkenly, which earns her a glare from Ryujin.
“Oh hi, Ryujin. No, it’s okay, let her rest.” Mrs. Hwang chuckles. “This is just our regular check-up call. I feel better knowing she’s already asleep.”
“Ah yes, she fell asleep right after we ate dinner.”
Ryujin feels bad for lying, but if it’s to avoid a disappointed parent, it’s worth it, right?
“Okay then, that’s good to know. I’ll be going now.”
“Okay, imo, have a good night.”
“You too.”
Then the call clicks off. Ryujin holds her head in both hands with a grimace, trying to shake off the icky feeling of lying.
“You can’t lie to save your life, Ryujin.” Yeji has the audacity to giggle at the other girl’s dilemma. “She’ll know you lied and then she’ll ask me about it later.”
“What? I was talking really well!”
“Your jaw barely opened, Ryujin-ah. I’m drunk and even I noticed that.”
Ryujin hisses. “Just stop talking and let’s get home.”
She helps Yeji up from her seat and when it’s obvious that she can’t walk straight, Ryujin takes it upon herself to squat in front of the woman and carefully lift her onto her back. She utters a quick thank you to her famous core muscles as Yeji tries to fight, but is too weak for it.
“I can walk.”
“You can’t.” Ryujin grunts as she adjusts her knees and torso to accommodate the additional weight. She checks their table one last time and, sure they haven’t left anything, walks out of the tent piggybacking Yeji. “You’ll fall and then scrape your knees or your palms and then what? That will scar and your mom will worry.”
She looks up and down the side of the road to check for bus stops. There are none, so her best choice is to walk back where they came from. She takes careful steps back into the park. It should be cold, considering she doesn’t have a jacket, but her shirt has at least dried while they were eating and Yeji is warm against her back, so Ryujin feels fine. Plus, the exercise even brings sweat to her forehead.
“For the record, I am perfectly lucid. I know what’s happening, I just…” Yeji sputters and moves her hands ambiguously. “Don’t have full control of my limbs right now.”
“I figured.”
Yeji doesn’t answer, and Ryujin assumes maybe she’s finally napping. She lets Yeji rest, careful not to jostle her too much as she walks quietly. She tries really hard to ignore the breath that’s continuously hitting the back of her neck, but the goosebumps naturally forms on her arms as her hands tighten on Yeji’s thighs. When they get past the halfway point of the park and Ryujin can’t keep it in anymore, she finally speaks.
“Yeddeong.”
An answering grunt.
Ryujin cranes her neck to peek at her passenger and sees her eyes closed, lips slightly parted. She faces ahead again. “Can you not… breathe on my neck?”
“Huh?” Yeji utters confusedly, accidentally breathing some more onto Ryujin’s neck.
The younger woman shivers with a hiss, tilting her head to the farther side. Her knees buckle slightly, but she’s quick to recover and return to her measured gait.
“Stop breathing on my neck,” Ryujin repeats exasperatedly.
“Oh, sorry.” Yeji finally understands and then turns her head to the other side, away from Ryujin’s face.
Ryujin sighs in relief because finally she can walk in peace. She’s already got an additional handful of kilos on her back, she doesn’t need more challenges, thank you very much.
Now that she’s free of distractions, she lifts Yeji higher onto her back to make sure she won’t slip out of her hands, and her steps become more certain and quicker. She then realizes that with the occasional cold wind, the smell of rain in the air, and Yeji’s sandalwood perfume wafting onto her nose, the night is actually really nice. Yeji might be intoxicated, but Ryujin is glad to share this night with her. She knows Yeji is thankful for her too, if the way she caresses Ryujin’s upper arm is any indication.
In a couple of minutes, they exit the other end of the park and Ryujin easily spots a bus stop across the street. She’s glad that no one else is around since it’s late and it just rained, so they are able to cross safely. She then carefully deposits Yeji onto the waiting bench, making sure her back is firmly against the backrest so she won’t slip to the side.
“Wait here, okay? I’m going to hail a taxi,” Ryujin instructs.
Yeji’s eyes finally open, and she nods so Ryujin is comfortable leaving her alone. She walks to the edge of the waiting shed, looking up and down the street to check if any car is coming. She glances at Yeji every few seconds to make sure she’s okay, but when she looks again for the nth time, she’s startled to find the bench empty.
“Unnie!?”
Ryujin quickly panics, heart beating hard at the worry that maybe Yeji might have walked away not knowing the direction home. She frantically looks around the bus stop only to find the older woman on her knees behind the clear flexiglass acting as the wall of the shed. Ryujin releases an exasperated breath.
“Unnie! You can’t just disappear like that without telling me where you’re going! I was so worried—“
“Ryuddaeng.” Yeji looks up at her with pleading eyes, and Ryujin immediately knows that what she’s about to say next can’t be good. “I’m sorry, but I saw this flower from where I was sitting and I got so sad.”
She points at a lone daisy trying to fight its way in between the cracks of the concrete sidewalk, droplets from the rain still on its petals. It’s about four inches tall, and even the grass around it looks healthy.
“What if it gets trampled on and dies?” Yeji pouts as she studies the plant. “It fought so hard to live.”
Ryujin calms down, finally sighing and kneeling next to Yeji as well to look closely at the flower. It’s beautiful, the whites and yellows vibrant. Its resilience is definitely something to be commended. Come to think of it, it reminds Ryujin of the woman beside her. Hwang Yeji, who’s been hurt countless times before and is still getting hurt now but is getting up every day and constantly choosing to be happy anyway. Hwang Yeji, the flower who still blooms beautifully despite all the problems weighing down on her.
Yeji is startled as Ryujin gets to her feet. She then watches Ryujin lift a leg and take off a shoe. By the time she realizes that Ryujin is carefully scooping out the plant—grass and dirt and all—and putting it into her shoe, Yeji has gone sober.
“What—“
“Here.” Ryujin hands her the shoe-slash-makeshift-planter, her whisker dimples on full display. “Let’s take it to the dorm and plant it with the other daisies on the landscaping outside.”
Yeji, with the shoe on her outstretched palms, looks up at Ryujin and gets the urge to cry, or kiss the girl, whichever happens first. She already carried Yeji back to a bus stop when she’s not fully sober, and now she just gave her a rescue plant in an expensive designer shoe like the dirt won’t ruin the insides of it.
For a girl who’s most of the time mistrustful and guarded, Ryujin sure doesn’t mind giving everything she has to Yeji. And for that, Yeji feels like the luckiest woman in the world.
It might be uncomfortable with their position, but Yeji reaches up to wrap her arms around Ryujin’s shoulder in a tight hug. She’s so thankful to have Ryujin with her in all the important moments of her life. Ryujin is just one more reason for her to wake up and choose to be happy for every day.
“Don’t disappear from my sight again, okay?” Ryujin says in a small voice while returning the hug.
Yeji nods vigorously before pulling away and smiling brightly at Ryujin. “I won’t, but…”
Ryujin raises an eyebrow, a warning in her eyes, to which Yeji merely smiles sheepishly in return.
“I promised you dessert on top of dinner, right? And the ice cream on the convenience store behind us is calling my name.”
They face the said establishment simultaneously, and Ryujin knows she doesn’t have a say in it so she joins Yeji on her pursuit of ice cream. The sole cashier looks at Ryujin funny when he notices she’s missing a shoe, but doesn’t say anything. When they walk out of the store, the plastic bag Yeji is carrying has different flavors of ice cream and other snacks for the members, and they each have a popsicle in their hand.
It doesn’t take long for them to hail a cab after that. Inside, Yeji remembers a solution to Ryujin’s bare foot. She takes out the handkerchief she used to dry their hair and wraps it around the younger’s foot, to Ryujin’s halfhearted complains. They alight at the same bus stop they got on earlier and walk the short distance back to their dorm, Yeji secretly smiling at the flower in her hands. When they unlock the dorm, the two women and Chaeryeong, aglow in the fridge’s yellow light, are all startled by each other.
“Oh, you just got back?” Chaeryeong says as she closes the fridge, a glass of water in her hand. She downs it as Ryujin and Yeji takes off their shoes.
“Yes,” Ryujin answers as she surreptitiously removes the handkerchief from her foot. When she looks up, Chaeryeong’s eyebrow has a slight tilt to it, which she decides to ignore. “Did you wait up for us?”
“A little bit. I couldn’t sleep anyway.”
“Thank you for waiting, Chaeryeong-ah,” Yeji offers with a warm smile, the shoe hidden behind her back as she offers the plastic bag to her. “Here’s ice cream for everyone.”
“Oh, I already bushed my teeth,” Chaeryeong says but takes the bag anyway. She puts it in the fridge before turning back to the couple. “I’ll eat mine tomorrow instead. You’re finally here, so I think I can sleep now.”
“Goodnight,” the trio bids as they all separate into their respective rooms, Ryujin sending Yeji a secret wink before disappearing into hers.
When the two are done quietly changing clothes and getting ready for bed, Ryujin sneaks into Yeji’s room to find the girl already lying on her bed, facing the bedside table that has only one item on it—the daisy in its shoe planter.
“I watered it a little bit so it will survive until tomorrow when we can move it into the landscape outside.”
“Good,” Ryujin says as she invites herself on Yeji’s bed. She lies sideways on top of the comforter with her head propped on an arm, one leg on top of the other. With her free hand, she tucks Yeji’s hair behind her ear.
“Are you not sleepy yet?” Yeji asks.
“I am. I’m just… not ready for the night to end just yet.”
Yeji fiddles with the buttons on Ryujin’s blue plaid pajama, a slight pout to her lips.
“You can… sleep here?”
Ryujin chuckles.
“I would love to, but you’ve got an early start tomorrow and I don’t, so.” Ryujin shrugs, a smug look on her face.
Yeji pouts even more. “You’ll give everything to me but not your sleep, huh?”
“Of course!” Ryujin teases.
They share a good-natured laugh because Yeji knows that Ryujin needs her sleep and she really doesn’t mind giving Ryujin her space and more time to rest when there’s no need for her to wake up earlier than she has to, and Ryujin also knows that Yeji understands. It’s a laugh that is brought on by the knowledge that tomorrow, no matter what time it may be, they’ll wake up and find each other one glance away.
When they calm, Ryujin lets out a sigh that Yeji interprets as contentment, because there’s still a ghost of a smile in her eyes and on her lips. It’s the last image she sees as Ryujin runs a finger on her forehead and eyebrows, making her eyelids close at the pleasant sensation. She feels it softly trail down her nose, then replaced by a pair of lips on the bridge, right where she knows her mole is.
Amidst sleep, she hears Ryujin whisper, “Goodnight, Yeddeong. You grew up so well.”
Ryujin carefully lifts herself off the bed when Yeji’s breath has evened out, but before she gets the bedroom door open, she hears a soft voice in the dark.
“Edward Cullen has nothing on you, Ryujin.”
Ryujin closes her eyes and shakes her head, quietly chuckling. She’s still wearing her whisker dimples even when she’s finally under her own covers and until she falls asleep.
In the morning, Yeji wakes up right on time for her schedule. The first thing she sees is the daisy on her nightstand, and she naturally chooses it as another reason to be happy today.