Chapter Text
The first strike to Emily’s heart was when she saw Will step out of the car in Florida, the corners of his mouth quirking up at the sight of his girlfriend, who didn’t notice him at first, too busy discussing the case with the detective. Emily observed JJ’s reaction closely as Will greeted the team, unable to take his eyes off JJ.
It was annoying, to say the least. He was a nice guy… but she couldn’t bring herself to like him, to speak to him the same way the rest of the team did. Still, she found herself telling JJ to go for him.
“You should go for it.” Emily commented. JJ stared into the distance ahead of her, watching Will walk away.
“What?” she breathed out, drawing her eyebrows together.
“You’d make a cute couple.” Emily noted, a sad smile creeping up onto her face as she looked over at the other agent, silently begging for JJ to look at her and kiss her. To admit that she broke up with Will because of her overwhelming love and adoration of Emily.
But instead, she turned around and chased after Will, muttering “You know what?” under her breath, completely unaware of the way Emily watched her.
It was only when Derek and Spencer joined Emily in the police station that she willed herself to look away from Will and JJ holding each other as they kissed. She slipped her hands into her pockets and pressed her lips together, forcing the tears back as the lump in her throat only grew.
Why not her?
Emily blamed herself for encouraging the woman she loved to go after Will. It was stupid. If JJ had just done it on her own accord, maybe Emily wouldn’t feel so guilty.
She spent the next few weeks overthinking about the situation and trying not to let her true emotions show as Penelope questioned JJ about him.
“Tell me more about him.” Penelope demanded, sitting across from JJ in her office. Emily slowed down as she approached the liaison’s office.
“I’ve told you enough.” JJ sighed, flipping through a case file. Penelope shook her head.
“All I know is that he’s a detective in New Orleans,” said Penelope. “What is he like in bed?”
Emily quietly huffed out a sigh and turned on her heel to walk back to the bullpen, frustration following her every move. Why did Emily have to go and encourage JJ to chase after him?
Why did she willingly break her own heart?
“You look like crap.” Derek quipped, eyeing his colleague head-to-toe. The other agent took her seat at her desk and shrugged.
“Had a late night.” She informed him, her sight dropping to the case file on her desk, holding details of the next case that the BAU would work on.
“Oh?” asked Derek, a mischievous smirk present on his features. “Nicely done. Tell me about it.”
Emily scoffed, leaning forward and ignoring her coworker.
“In your dreams, Derek Morgan.” She remarked, trying to ignore the memories of the previous night, when she stumbled into her own apartment with another blonde and blue-eyed woman… who wasn’t the one she wanted.
Life was cruel and played tricks on you. Emily could guarantee that. It was cruel that she had to get pregnant at fifteen, trying to fit into a crowd before her mother’s job whisked her away to another country, all alone for the umpteenth time and it was cruel that she had to fall in love with an oblivious woman.
An oblivious woman who was ever so happily in love with someone else, someone she would likely marry and have the white picket fence family, with two or three kids running around.
And despite all the hookups and the cases, Emily couldn’t get her mind off of her. Even when she was elbow-deep in sex, she found herself thinking back to JJ and how her smile could light up a room.
Emily very quickly noticed that whenever JJ smiled… her blue eyes somehow got brighter.
It was a shame that Emily wasn’t the one that JJ smiled at. Instead, Emily sent her on her way to greet a New Orleans detective with that damn smile and left Emily with a shattered heart, collecting the pieces.
The pieces of Emily’s heart fell apart yet again in New York when JJ announced to the team that she was pregnant. The little hope she had that JJ would miraculously confess her love was crushed.
Maybe in another lifetime… Emily would have a happy life.