Chapter Text
Not again.
He stared down the fist of blue flames with a mixture of anxiety and relief. It wasn’t the first time he’d died at the hands of his soulmate and it probably wouldn’t be the last time. Fate had a sick sense of humor when it came to them. Or maybe just him.
No matter how many times they were reborn into a different life—a different world—only Keigo recalled their past. Some lives were easier to remember than others. It came back to him in fragments usually, but he had a feeling that once upon a time, the idea of finding one another was romantic.
Keigo had probably wanted to recall everything at some point.
Nowadays, he made peace with the awful truth. They were soulmates destined to tear each other apart. Any naïve ideas about love were gone. Whatever higher power existed simply wanted to see him suffer a brutal bond with a tragic soul.
So stupid.
He gazed past the fire to take in the last vestiges of this Touya. It was one of the crueler incarnations—one that left him scarred, crazed, and abandoned. Other lifelines allowed him to retain his physical health even as his mental state deteriorated.
Those were the easier deaths in Keigo’s experience. The less trauma, the less likely that Touya would kill him in a passionate daze.
Can’t avoid being killed though. He tried not to sigh. Making light of being burned alive wasn’t right. It was just difficult to care when he knew what came next.
The flames swallowed him whole.
After the pain was silence.
So much silence.
A peaceful void that Keigo wished he could stay in.
But it never lasted.
Different things came back to him first. Sometimes it was his sense of smell. Other times it was sound. On rare occasions, he jolted awake as if surfacing from a dream. Those were the most disorienting times. He struggled to determine if he was in a new reality or just trapped in a loop.
His eyes cracked open slowly. The room was dim, glowing yellow and orange by firelight. As he sat up, he caught the scent of fresh rain and smog that made parts of the room faintly damp.
Curved ceilings and wooden walls. Brass bobbles. Metal fixtures. Nothing remotely resembling the society of heroes and villains he had come from.
Yeah. Definitely died. Keigo glanced down, taking in the sight of a coarse cotton nightgown. Oddly enough, he appeared to be an adult this time around. Maybe Fate had taken pity on him. This life wouldn’t last very long if he was already in his twenties.
New memories started filling his mind, conjuring important details about his occupation, social circles, family, and personal life. They wove together with the vision of his most recent death, categorizing experiences, processing others, and generally reorienting himself to yet another few decades of suffering. If I’m lucky. Might get murdered in the next few years.
Keigo snorted at his own pessimism.
He had tried plenty of different tactics over several lifetimes to save himself. Best case scenario, he managed to avoid Touya completely and would get killed in an accidental encounter. Those were the timelines where they never knew each other. In the worst cases, he got involved due to unavoidable circumstances and met a fiery end like the one he was still trying to shake off.
Standing up, he shuffled over to a tall window. It overlooked a sprawling urban center in shades of chrome and brass. Plumes of white smoke filled the dark sky, crosscut only by bobbing airships. The cobblestone streets below were mostly empty, save for the late night stragglers going home after too much indulgence. Their tailored suits and gowns were rumpled, hair loose, and laughter echoing off brick and mortar.
Keigo turned away to inspect his own home. Or rather, workshop.
It was filled with gadgets and gizmos. Books were stacked in precarious piles everywhere and loose sheets of paper scattered the floor. A typewriter with a half-finished correspondence sat in the center of a large wooden desk. Beside it was a brilliant red mechanical hawk in a golden cage.
He rubbed his head, parsing out what he’d been doing before bed. Keigo sat down at the desk, rereading the letter. It was addressed to the International Consortium on Magical Creatures, but his rambling response hardly told him anything about their request.
After a few minutes of digging through envelopes and crumpled letters, he found it and smoothed it out. It was addressed to Hawks , but Keigo wasn’t surprised. No matter what life he lived, his and Touya’s names and appearances remained relatively consistent. Maybe it was all part of the soulmate bond—a matter of finding each other more easily?
Keigo didn’t really care to ask questions anymore.
Dear Hawks,
We are writing to request your expertise on a highly classified case. If interested, please come to the Consortium branch in your city for a briefing on the details and compensation. We are unable to forward anything else at this time.
Looking forward to your reply.
Sincerely,
Ryuko
Director of the International Consortium on Magical Creatures
He finished the correspondence with a promised date and time for visiting. Magical creatures were a small but important subsect of society. They were fading fast and didn’t have nearly as many rights as Humans. As a consultant on interspecies relations, Keigo was fairly versed in problems across the public and private sectors. In short, he was a jack-of-all who could either provide a solution or call someone to provide a solution.
This request sounded right up his alley so there was no reason to refuse, right?
---
A hundred lifetimes later and he still hadn’t learned his lesson.
When Ryuko greeted him inside the Consortium, he should’ve realized something was off. Why would the director meet him personally? What was she even doing at a branch office?
Instead of responding to these obvious red flags, Keigo bumbled along like an idiot. He chatted over tea with her. They gossiped about up and coming inventors as well as new preservation committees cropping up worldwide. It seemed like a very normal get together.
Perhaps recovering his memories so suddenly made him groggy. Susceptible to delusions of safety.
So when Ryuko finally led him down to the basement of the Consortium, he still didn’t think anything of it. She had given him payment upfront for the consultation before even a single word of business as well. That should’ve been a major warning in and of itself.
“Three weeks ago, we located an injured Felis Ignatus,” Ryuko explained. “It woke up recently and surprised us by transforming into a Human.”
“It’s a Hybrid?” Keigo tiled his head curiously. Those were rare to say the least. One in every 100,000 Humans could be counted as Hybrids—Ryuko being one of them. Species varied, but most of them fell into the category of mythical beasts, such as dragons. Not enough research had been conducted, but the prevailing hypothesis was concerned with sentience.
Mythical beasts often had intellect surpassing Humans, so many liked to think the compatibility of brainwaves led to successful hybridization.
That was neither here nor there though. Keigo was trying to wrap his head around why such a fuss was being kicked up about a Hybrid. More importantly, why anyone would care about a Felis Ignatus of all things.
It was a domestic cat with some fire breathing abilities. They were mildly dangerous but mostly just adorable, exotic pets for the wealthy.
“It didn’t stay Human for very long. We’ve tried to coax it out of cat form, but it refused. No one has succeeded and after calling in specialists across the spectrum, we’ve been left stumped.”
“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that,” Keigo admitted, unease settling in his gut. “Is there anything else that makes you curious about this Hybrid?”
Ryuko pursed her lips, lamp rocking back and forth as she ventured through stone passageways. “It produces white flames, but we’ve seen the color slowly turning blue. We’re concerned about the temperature rising anymore and wanted to see if perhaps you had any ideas about what to do.” She paused and glanced back at Keigo warily.
He stopped walking, refusing to take another step until she finished her thought.
She slowed to a halt in front of a closed iron door and hung the lamp on a hook. It shined through the small, barred window but Keigo couldn’t make anything out from his position. Ryuko crossed her arms. “You’re aware that exotic pets must undergo affinity reviews before any legal purchases, correct?”
Keigo nodded.
“Among the specialists we consulted, one of them conducted an affinity analysis and your name came up as the top match. We simply ran the analysis against the public census database, so we weren’t seeking anyone to necessarily help us with this case.” She tried to smile, however, Keigo’s growing horror must’ve been evident.
Ryuko suddenly stepped away from the door and reached for the lamp. “I apologize. This has clearly upset you. We had no intention of doing anything other than a consultation. It was merely a surprising coincidence that you have such perfect compatibility with a Hybrid that’s been worrying us. We only want your insights, so let’s return to the tearoom.”
“No. It’s fine.”
The lamp clinked against the stone.
Keigo rubbed his head, trying very hard to sound neutral. Clearly, it wasn’t working. He took a step toward the cell door. “Sorry. I just thought of something unpleasant and it distracted me. Can I meet the Hybrid?”
Relief washed across her face and she unlocked the reinforced door. It groaned on unoiled hinges, the sound deafening Keigo’s internal screaming.
The room was fairly dark save for the glow of a magic circle on the ground. Within it sat an ordinary black house cat. It was curled up in a tiny ball, face fully hidden.
Keigo’s heart melted.
Immediately, he reeled back, shoving the thought aside. This was the problem with soulmates. An undeniable force dragged them together and when they shared the same space, the attraction was blinding.
Attraction takes many forms though.
He had enough gruesome deaths to understand that passion isn’t always fun. It’s consuming. Awful. Painful.
“It doesn’t look like much,” Ryuko remarked softly, “but it has some very explosive emotions. We’re almost certain that it’s fire keeps growing due to stress. Being confined is probably making it worse as well.”
Keigo swallowed a groan. He had tried to outrun Fate so many times. He’d also fallen into the arms of Fate by accident just as many times. If actively dodging the bond and stupidly letting the bond run wild resulted in the same ending, then maybe he should try something new. Considering how short this life was going to be, he really had nothing to lose.
Crouching down, Keigo reached past the magical barrier.
The cat tensed right away, uncurling, and opening brilliant blue eyes. It’s tail whipped up, swaying back and forth as if preparing to strike.
Keigo smiled wryly. Yeah. That’s definitely him.
For a long time, neither made a move. Keigo knew better than to approach a cornered Touya. He waited patiently, open palm steady.
Eventually, Touya edged forward, sniffing his fingertips, and giving them an experimental lick. Keigo tried not to laugh from the absurdity of the whole situation. His heart was beating like mad and he could feel sweat beading on the back of his neck. Even if he was staring down the smallest cat, memories of being burned alive by Touya played in the back of his mind.
A furry head bumped his hand and nuzzled hard against him.
Ryuko made a soft, surprised noise behind him but he couldn’t focus on that. His eyes were stuck on this purring feline trying his best to rub his scent all over Keigo. The sight made him forget all about his soulmate’s many previous incarnations and even had him questioning if this was actually Touya.
Tiny paws pushed at his wrist, doing very little to move him. Keigo calmed all at once, tension draining from his muscles. Reaching in with his other hand, he scooped Touya the Cat up and brought him to his chest.
The tip of his tail ignited with white flames and he buried his face against Keigo’s jacket. Furry ears drooped down, and his blue eyes closed.
“I suppose we don’t need the magic barrier anymore,” Ryuko murmured. The glow vanished instantly, and they were left in a dark, damp cell with only Touya’s flickering tail for light.
Keigo squeezed him tighter, surprised at the gentle warmth of his flames. It was nothing like the angry, volatile fire that engulfed him in their last life.
This was almost healing.
---
Keigo’s workshop was paradise for a cat, including Hybrid cats. The number of things to climb and nooks to explore were endless. It also had plenty of window ledges to curl up on.
It was a lesson he learned within a few hours of bringing Touya home. Ryuko couldn’t have been more enthusiastic in handing him over and Keigo had been irrevocably courted by all of those affectionate cuddles.
In the weeks that followed, Touya refused to leave his side but also refused to transform back into a Human. Consequently, Keigo felt as if he had adopted a regular Felis Ignatus . The only differences were that he could speak to his cat in complicated sentences and Touya refused to eat anything resembling cat food. Keigo was now in the habit of spending an extra five minutes mincing meals into digestible pieces.
When he wasn’t half-heartedly griping about preparing food, he was being thoroughly lulled into a false sense of security by this little black cat. The only resemblance to his Touya was in his blue eyes.
Other than that, Keigo often forgot they were one and the same.
This was especially true whenever he felt Touya curl up under his chin for a nap or just cuddles. If Keigo sat down anywhere, he could be assured that Touya was going to show up to claim his lap. The warmth of his small body was better than any heater or fireplace but maybe that was just the adoration talking.
Every night, Keigo crawled into bed to find Touya already waiting for him either in the middle of the mattress or on the pillow. It all depended on where he wanted to settle down. Sometimes it was against Keigo’s stomach and other times it was against his neck.
The companionship ignited a desire for affection that Keigo was starting to think had always been there. Finding friends and playing nice with others came easy to him in every reincarnation, but with the looming shadow of Touya just waiting to pounce, he’d never tried for anything more.
There were a few bizarre rebirths that found him and Touya falling into bed together, but those encounters lacked the sort of romance that soulmates supposedly provide. Keigo never felt insatiable electricity between them. Their bodies didn’t interlock as if made for each other.
It was clumsy at best. Dull and unsatisfying at worst.
During those lifetimes, Keigo determined that being soulmates was simply that. A bond that defied time and space. Incomprehensible. Neither good nor bad. Two souls forced into alignment.
In fairytales, that bond meant rose-colored happiness and undying love. In reality, Keigo learned the shape of attraction can be ruthless. It could just as easily turn from affection to passionate suffocation.
And on a particularly cold spring night, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking aloud.
Touya curled up on his lap in front of the fireplace. A mouse-shaped toy hung from his mouth and rattled each time he shook it with his paws. The sight made Keigo’s heart swell, but he also couldn’t comprehend how this little creature could be Human—let alone his cold-blooded soulmate.
“Do you hate transforming?”
The toy stopped rattling.
The cat’s eyes popped wide open. He looked up at Keigo with such raw fear that Keigo suddenly wondered if he was going to run away. On instinct, he pulled Touya against his chest, cradling him with what he hoped was comfort.
His tail ignited but it merely swayed in the air. Soft paws pressed against Keigo’s thin shirt, but there were no claws in sight. Touya tilted his head up, not making a sound as he stared back at Keigo with eyes that were too old and too Human. The tips of his ears caught fire as well, glowing white-hot.
“Is being Human too painful?” Keigo asked, unable to stop his voice from cracking.
Touya stared.
Leaning his head back, Keigo closed his eyes and gently stroked his cat’s delicate backside. “I think it is. I’m so tired.” He laughed. “I wish I could turn into a hawk. No worries. Endless freedom. What a dream.”
Touya never replied and Keigo didn’t expect him to.
Six months after they began cohabitating, the true nature of their relationship was starting to dawn on Keigo.
If he’d known how long he would be away, he would’ve said something to Touya. Or maybe just taken him on the job. The request hadn’t seemed particularly difficult. A half day’s work — a full day if things were really bizarre.
Two days had passed now and Keigo was practically vibrating with anxiety. He had booked an emergency room at an inn but had no plans to stay a third night no matter what happened. Working as a consultant meant he was used to being flexible but this was outrageous. He had—well, he had something waiting at home for him now.
That was an even crazier thought than anything this recent job had thrown at him.
More unbelievable was who he wanted to see.
He still hadn’t seen Touya in Human form since they started cohabitating. That was fine though. They both were happy. Probably. Keigo hadn’t felt secure enough in any other life to embrace this warmth in his chest that thrummed stronger and hotter with each passing day.
And of all the creatures to cause it, how could it be him?
The clock struck midnight when he finally unlocked the front door of his home. Immediately, skittering paws on hardwood filled the air and Keigo knelt down to catch Touya as he leapt at him. He weighed almost nothing, purring loudly and rubbing against his chest and neck with such enthusiasm that Keigo nearly cried.
He squeezed him as tightly as he could without causing injury. A sweet scent was coming off his fur. Keigo breathed in deeply, eye fluttering in surprise. “Did you give yourself a bath?” He pulled back, holding Touya at arm’s length.
Pretty blue eyes flickered, his little face turning away.
“As a Human?”
Touya went limp in his hands, slipping out of his grip like liquid. In an instant, he had darted away. Keigo snorted a laugh. Once he started, it was too hard to stop. Tension released with each rough puff of air and he finally realized how stressed he had been this entire time.
The details of the job didn’t even matter anymore.
“Come back,” he called out, rummaging through his suitcase. “I got you something.”
There was a long pause and then a little black ear peeked around the corner of Keigo’s favorite overstuffed armchair. A second later, Touya cautiously approached him again. His steps were silent now, which only made Keigo smile warmly.
Had he been too excited to see him earlier to have any grace?
Keigo pulled out a bird-shaped contraption. It fit in the center of his palm and was soft to the touch despite the mechanical skeleton beneath the feathers. He lowered his hand for Touya to inspect the toy. The moment his little paw tapped the bird’s head, yellow eyes burst open.
He jumped back with a hiss, tail and ears igniting blue.
“It’s okay, it’s okay!” Keigo hurriedly nodded at the toy just as the wings began to stir, clinking noisily before the toy took flight. Its tail feathers glowed, creating a bright jet stream in the dim apartment. The toy flew up toward the domed ceiling, arced around the metal support beams, and circled Touya rapidly.
His pupils were blown wide, eating up the blue. His little mouth hung open, one paw slowly rising as he tracked the toy’s journey around the room.
“I figured you would like something to chase.” Keigo grinned wide. Some morbid part of him had chosen a bird of all the flying toys available. Maybe he was feeling a little twisted. Maybe their entire relationship was too twisted to play at being nice.
Touya approached him again, purring loudly and for a second, it almost sounded like a laugh—as if they both understood the implications of the gift.
That wasn’t possible though, was it? Touya had never remembered any of their previous lives.
He couldn’t know he roasted me alive, feathers and all, in our last life.
“Sorry for disappearing without telling you anything. Things kept coming up on that job and before I knew it, days had passed.” Keigo sighed heavily. Before he could ramble on, Touya hopped up on his bent knee, balancing perfectly as he climbed him like a tree and nestled on his shoulder.
A soft tail curled around the nape of his neck and stroked almost comfortingly.
Keigo rubbed the top of his head and the backs of his ears until his delicate chest rumbled again. “I brought back food. I’ll get it ready for you.”
And just like that, the evening passed blissfully.