Work Text:
ㅤ— Please don't be in love with someone else —ㅤ
Mu Qing didn't know at what moments her feelings for Feng Xin turned into something other than friendship. It might have been twelve years old on the school trip when he, seeing that Mu Qing hadn't brought anything to eat, shared his favorite snack. Just as it could have happened at fifteen at the beginning of summer vacation, when his classmates had a party to celebrate something Mu Qing to this day doesn't know what it is, where the two of them locked themselves in Hua Cheng's room. They had no ulterior motives, they just wanted to get away from the noise of the downstairs and stargazing – this was Mu Qing's favorite pastime.That night, surrounded by the sheets of a failed hut attempt, Feng Xin kissed him. It wasn't something deep and filled with passion, on the contrary, it was innocent and delicate, sweet like the Tanghulu he sold in the school cafeteria; it turns out that Mu Qing forgot that after the caramelized crust, all that's left is the sourness of the fruit.The next day, instead of coming out to everyone together, Feng Xin pulled him away and decided to bite Mu Qing's heart with these words:
“I like you, but I'm not ready to be seen with you. Can we keep a secret about what is happening to both of us?”
Like the passionate idiot he was, he accepted. After all, being able to be with the person you like, even if hidden, is better than nothing, right?
Since then the already conflicting feelings have become even more so. She felt that she loved Feng Xing when he directed all his kindness and affection towards himself, but she also hated him when he made fun of his insecurities for others to laugh, trying to disguise that something existed between the two of them.
This situation had lasted two years.
It's been two years since she's snuck between empty rooms and library shelves to get even one kiss.
Two years she subjected herself to seeing him hook up with girls at parties just so they wouldn't let others suspect something.
Two years that her heart was breaking more and more.
She wanted to put Feng Xin against the wall and issue an ultimatum, but she lacked courage. What if he does that and loses what little he had?
Every night, after doing his homework, he would go out onto the porch to do the thing that brought him the most peace, watch the stars; there, amid the covers and pillows, he put his hands to his chest and wished only one thing for the bright spots: Please don't be in love with someone else.
Unfortunately, stars only grant wishes in fairy tales.
One day he decided to arrive earlier than usual at school. There wasn't a big reason behind it, he just woke up early and couldn't wait any longer. His steps were slow and his only company was headphones that played some song Taylor Swift made for an asshole ex; he stopped at a coffee shop and bought coffee and bread and cheese.
It would have been the perfect start to a day if he hadn't arrived at the school gates and seen something that took the air out of his lungs.
There, not just in front of him but all the friends they had in common, Feng Xin was kissing Jian Lan vigorously. He kisses her the same way he kisses Mu Qing; firm at the waist, pulling her close to him.
Mu Qing felt her throat immediately close up and her eyes blurred. His heart retracted so hard it made the boy think he was having a tachycardia.
He took a deep breath, one, two, three and as many times as necessary to keep calm and regain control of his body.
He couldn't cry there. He didn't want to cry there.
He ran all the way he had before they could see him. Before he could give any explanation.
That day his heart was broken for the first and most painful time.
He had fallen in love with someone else.