Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Porsche was pretty sure he had died.

No, no, scratch that, he was sure he had fucked up. 

“Sir Porsche, this way, please.” Hands took him by the biceps, holding him tightly, preventing him from escaping.

*Oh shit, I’m so fucked, what the fuck* Porsche was positive he had died yesterday, specifically while watching his favorite program and eating gummy bears.

That’s right, Porsche had died asphyxiated… because of a gummy bear. Holy hell, he was so stupid, at least he was thankful his ghost hadn’t stayed with his corpse, he wouldn’t had been able to handle people’s expressions after knowing such pathetic cause of death.

“Sir Porsche, you look very beautiful this morning.” Another voice said, a maid, by the looks of it.

“Mmm…” He answered because he didn’t know what the fuck else to say. 

He stood in front of a mirror, a very beautiful, very expensive mirror, his reflection looked right back at him, there, on the other side, he could see himself, same sharp handsome face, same tall height, same eyes. Porsche got closer to the surface, carefully taking notice of what he was seeing, although his appearance was exactly the same, he could pint point some differences, like his once dry blemished skin being now smooth and moist; his lips, that used to crack every time he moved his mouth, now being pink and full, well taken care of and all pretty like; his hair was also different, longer and his strands were shiny and healthy, not at all death and stiff, like in his last life.

“What the fuck.” Porsche scream-whispered, taking all in, horrified.

“Sir, this way please.” Said what Porsche supposed was a servant. He followed her, looking around as they were walking, watching the high ceilings, the dark heavy oak doors and its expensive well crafted arcs, the shiny and clean floors… “Sir, we have prepared your clothes for Sir Kinn’s arrival,” Porsche did a doble take at that, he stood still, feeling his body freeze , looking at the woman with growing terror.

“What did you say?” Porsche moved his face until it was only inches away from the poor woman, a manic glint drowning his handsome features.

“I-“ the maid cleared her throat, suddenly feeling nervous by the young master’s behavior. “We have prepared the clothes for Sir Kinn’s arrival.”

“Kinn?” Porsche repeated almost hysterically. “Kinn Annakin?!” Porsche gripped his hair “Kinn Annakin Teerapanyakun??!!” He said the last part screaming.

The maid took a few steps back, but upon seeing the state her young master was in, she carefully and very slowly approached him, her hand went to the boy’s forehead, searching for any kind of sickness.

“Young master, are you okay? If you’re feeling under the weather, I could contact the Teerapanyakun’s servants, I’m sure Sir Kinn would understand.” The maid didn’t have the heart to tell him Sir Kinn would probably be overjoyed to cancel the appointment.

She looked at him pitifully, “Sir I know how much you wanted to see your fiancé, but with the state you are in, I’m afraid it won’t be possible.” The young master snapped his head up.

“My fucking what?!” 

“Your… fiancé?” She carefully intoned the word, knowing the young master was currently in a bad condition, she would make sure to call the doctor after taking care of Porsche.

“I don’t- I- what the hell-“Porsche took a deep breath, trying to clear his head every time he inhaled. His mind was a mess and his thoughts were fighting each other, overcrowding one another. After some more breathing exercises, Porsche finally looked at the maid with a crooked smile, “You do that.”

“Sir?” The servant tilted her head, “I’m sorry sir but… could you be more specific?”

 Porsche’s smile trembled, sweat began forming at his temples and neck. 

“Of course,” He pronounced with a little crack at the end, “I want you to cancel the meeting with-“ he choked on the word, “ My  fiancé, ugh.”

“Most immediately, Sir.” The woman waied to him - to him!!- turned around and left him alone in the middle of the hallway. After he lost sight of her, Porsche crumbled down until his forehead was touching the floor. He wanted to sob, to cry, to scream until everything was back to normal, until he woke up from this nightmare and went back to his shitty life in his shitty apartment, alas, after some minutes panicking on the floor, Porsche began to realize he was actually alive, in his body not-really-his-body, in a new fancy life, inside the last novel he had read to impress a girl.

He got up, fixed himself and entered the bedroom the woman had appointed him to change in. 

The room was big, its whole size was basically Porsche’s dining room back at home. He ignored the details and went to the clothes neatly folded on a fancy sofa.  There was an expensive white coat that went perfectly with the cream colored button up shirt next to it, there were also slacks in some light shade of brown and dress brown shoes,  Porsche kicked them with disgust after throwing the shirt on the floor.

*What kind of clothes are these, I ain’t going to the temple* 

He let himself fall on the sofa, his nape resting on the crest rail while his body just flowed down unceremoniously. 

*I think, I’d be better off death* 

Porsche Pachara Kittisawat, the main antagonist of a BL novel he began reading because of a girl, also the only character to suffer the worst death in the book thanks to Kinn’s ire. At the beginning, Porsche began reading the novel after some pretty girl from his university told him she was reading a book with a villain named the same as him, the girl had been attractive, had a good body and big boobs, he hadn’t been paying attention to what she was saying, only oohing and aahing at the right parts and nodding at some others, when the conversation had ended, she had lent him the novel, begging him to read it so they could talk more afterwards.

Porsche had accepted. He didn’t have any reason not to, it was the end of the semester, and even though he was kind of busy at the bar he could make some time to read some pages and then ask the girl out.

And so, Porsche began reading, and reading… and reading, cursing Kinn’s name at every page, sneering at Tawan for being a useless piece of shit and being a fake martyr but still getting the man at the end and feeling rage and indignation towards the villain, the one who had the same name as him, for loving so much to the point of being obsessed towards a man who couldn’t even stand him.

Porsche -the one in the novel- was a pathetic twat who had been in love with Kinn the first time he saw him at an auction, he was so in love, so enamored that he begged his rich as fuck parents for a meeting with him,  promptly, he became obsessed, Porsche had always been useless at everything other than  shopping or spending his parents’ money, but after Kinn, he finally had a goal in mind: make him his.  And so the chase (stalkering) began, he entered the same university as Kinn, began frequenting the same establishments as him, until he ended up practically forcing him to a one sided engagement, thanks to Kinn’s father considering more pros than cons to this marriage since he was from a family of high status, the old man had basically sold him off to Porsche.  

Henceforth, introducing Tawan, the main love interest of the novel and Kinn’s real lover. Tawan was a well mannered soft spoken boy, he was a saint, a martyr, a pretty kid, bullied by the big monster Porsche for being loved by Kinn, he hated him so much that Porsche hired a hitman to kill Tawan, but of course because it was a BL novel, Kinn ended up knowing about it and rescued Tawan all heroically and Disneyly-princess like, Porsche, clouded by jealousy, made a big mistake and fell into a pond full of crocodiles (what the fuck) although “fell” was an understandment, Kinn was too close to him at the time, He would bet all his money on Kinn actually pushing Porsche, dying eaten alive by them.

And they lived happily ever after.

Except not really! Because now Porsche, the badass Porsche, the not-a-piece-of-weak-ass-pussy Porsche, was here, and so, so not interested in Kinn’s ass.

Fuuuuuuckkkkk hiiiiiim, he was so dead.

A knock brought him back from his stupor, he jumped off the sofa just in time for the door to open and two people to walk in.

“Oh my son, I heard from the maid that you’re feeling unwell?” Porsche looked at the well dressed woman in front of him. She was old but beautiful, she was wearing olive slacks and a white Chanel shirt, her face looked kind and lovely, with thin eyebrows and pink lips. Next to her was a serious man -his father??- the man had a mustache with no hair, he was wearing a black suit that went perfectly with his round eyeglasses.

“Porsche?” The lady called him, she furrowed her eyebrows worriedly. “You’re sweating, do you have a fever?”  Her hand touched her son’s neck. “You do feel hot.”

“I-“ Porsche gently removed her hand, “I’m feeling okay…mother.” What a strange word for him to say, years of being an orphan never made him used to it.

“But-“

“Mother, I think I will rest in my bedroom for now.” Before she had the opportunity to say something else he took off, walking down the aisle towards the direction of the first room he had woken up in. When he finally got there, he locked the door and fell into his bed with a tired sigh.

“Ahhhh, this is not happening.” He sobbed. He turned and faced the ceiling, thoughtful. 

Maybe he could change the future? He was Porsche, but not the one from the novel, he didn’t have any feelings towards Kinn, well no, that was a lie, he had hateful feelings towards him, throughout the novel, Kinn had always been very condescending to Porsche, he always used sarcasm and when he wasn’t speaking to him, he just ignored him, he actually became the laughing stock of the whole community after getting engaged to Kinn only for Kinn to be seen very cozy around Tawan, it had been a low blow for Porsche.

But now, Porsche could change that, based on what the maid had said, it looked like he was already engaged to Kinn, that also meant that Kinn already knew Tawan and was halfway in love with him. It was okay, Porsche could get them together earlier than in the novel, he could pair them up, maybe Kinn would finally grow some balls to break off the engagement or maybe Porsche could come up with something to do it. Either way, it was convenient for him to match them both, with his new presence and with him being in the body of the villain he could change all the bullshit the old Porsche committed.

Porsche nodded, suddenly feeling full of life.

Right, first:

1. Do not get in Kinn’s way.  

He may be the love interest but it was heavily implied in the novel that he actually came from a family of power -cough cough the mafia cough cough-  Porsche didn’t want to get his brains blown, thank you very much.

1. Do not bully Tawan.

Tawan was the apple of Kinn’s eye, his future “wife”, if he screwed Tawan, he had no doubt he would be screwed in return.

     2.Do not be a creepy annoying piece of shit.

Porsche reluctantly admitted that part of why Kinn treated him as if he had stepped on poop -him being the poop-  was because he acted worse than a delusional yandere. He had basically wormed his way into Kinn’s life whether he liked it or not; stalking him to his favorite places, befriending Kinn’s close acquaintances, even getting to the point of trying to buy Kinn’s bodyguards in exchange of information… or photos.

And finally…

         3. Live this second chance as if it was his last.

On second thought, Porsche wouldn’t deny he was actually glad he had a new opportunity to live. In his old life, he still had so many things to do, so many places to go, so many new things to try. Now he could actually achieve his ambitions, even better, it looked like he didn’t have to worry about money, unlike his last life where he counted every penny and only ate one glass of water with a dumpling, in this new life  he was loaded, he lived in a nice house, with servants and maids!

If he had known, he would’ve died long ago!

With no strings attaching him to his old life, with no family and no sentimental value to anything he possessed -after all, everything he had, was in debt, he was even still paying for his phone - Porsche felt no remorse for leaving everything in the past, after all, he was an easygoing person, he was a relaxed, calm and collected man, who could handle every situation thrown his way well…

Right.

A ping brought him back to reality, he frowned and followed the sound until he found a cellphone, the last iPhone model.

With wide eyes, he held the phone as if it was a newborn baby.

How is it going with Kinn?

-Tem

Porsche reread the name.

*Tem? Wasn’t that Porsche’s best friend in the novel??* 

It was only a passing paragraph explaining Porsche’s lack of social life, with only one person by his side as a friend, Porsche had always been a very lonely kid. He actually felt pity for him.

Porsche unlocked the phone with his thumb print, he didn’t know the password, but there was no doubt it had something to do with Kinn, like his birthday or some cheesy shit.

What? He typed 

Umm… Ur meeting with Kinn? Weren’t U going to see him this morning??

-Tem

Ahh, that of course.

I felt sick, had to cancel it, call you later K? 

And with that, Porsche closed the message and began snooping around the other’s phone.

“Damn, the guy was sick in the head.”

Thousands of photos were what met him after opening the gallery, most of them of Kinn, a few others of his parents, one or two of his friend Tem and only one of himself, it was clear the guy had bad self esteem. 

Disgusted, Porsche closed the gallery and opened his contact list, he had very few, incredibly enough, the first one wasn’t Kinn, but his parents, the second was Kinn and the last one Tem,  Porsche felt disappointed, he had actually hoped he had Tawan’s, but thinking twice about it, it didn’t make any sense.

Porsche opened LINE, ignored the new message he saw from Tem and looked for Kinn’s chat.

When he found it and began reading it, he didn’t know if he wanted to cry or laugh. Porsche began all the conversations, with Kinn only answering in monosyllables, sometimes he sent him photos of what he was doing or wearing, only for that asshole to completely ignore the message.

How embarrassing.

Porsche scrolled up and stopped at the beginning of the chat.

Hello Kinn, this is Porsche 😄

Hello

-Kinn

What are you doing? 😃

Work

-Kinn

Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were working, I’ll leave you to it then  😊

Yes

-Kinn

Porsche was beyond embarrassed, all their conversations had been similar, with original Porsche trying to have a nice chat with Kinn and Kinn responding with a word.

*Fucking asshole* 

He took notice of the date, the first message was sent four months ago, reading what the original typed, it looked like their engagement wasn’t that old, that was good, Porsche still had the opportunity to not fuck up this new life.

He walked to the door and opened it, stepping outside; taking a deep breath, Porsche began roaming around the house, it was big, too big for only a little family of three.

*Rich people* Porsche thought, after passing a big pool, next to it, was a well equipped gym, he immediately trotted there.

“Sir Porsche!” Inside the gym were a few men doing exercise, they stopped moving and greeted him the moment they saw him, “Sir Porsche is there something wrong? Was there a security breach?”

Porsche looked at him strangely, “What?” he asked. The boy took in the men’s appearance, all of them were tall and muscular, older than him but not by much.

*Could they be the bodyguards?*

“Nothing has happened.” They looked at each other worriedly.

“Sir, I’m sorry, may I ask, what are you doing here?” Porsche huffed and crossed his arms in front of his torso. 

Wasn’t he supposed to be the young master of the house? Why was he getting interrogated? Couldn’t he go whenever he wanted without the need to explain himself?  

“Am I trespassing? Is here off of limits?”  The men shook their heads aggressively, they denied it, putting their arms in front of them and moving them from one side to the other.

“No, no of course not, Sir.”  A young man said, now that Porsche noticed it, that boy was the only one closer to his age, he wasn’t ugly, not at all, he actually stood out from most of the other bodyguards, Porsche narrowed his eyes suspiciously and pointed at him.

“You, what’s your name?” The boy pointed to himself and nervously answered, “I’m Pete, Sir.” Porsche clicked his tongue in annoyance, he knew who Pete was, the fucker was actually working under Kinn, the asshole had sent him to his house to spy on him,  he wasn’t a bad guy per se, it was thanks to Pete that a lot of the original schemes against Tawan went wrong, but his presence put him on edge, what if Pete realized Porsche wasn’t actually Porsche? What if he took notice of his strange behavior?

He tried to calm down.

Even if they noticed something was different, they couldn’t do anything, what were they gonna do? claim he was a clone? a long lost twin brother?? Porsche was pretty sure the body he was in was actually the original’s, he couldn't feel his old calluses nor the scars he used to have, he was safe… for now.

“I’m here because I want to exercise.”

“Exercise?!” Pete exclaimed, getting elbowed by his partners.

“Yes, that’s what one does when going to the gym.”

“No, I mean, yeah of course, Sir. Sorry, sir.” Porsche nodded with a charming smile on his face.

“I’m sorry, sir, but… the clothes you are wearing are not fit for exercising, you could hurt yourself,” it was only then when Porsche realized he was wearing pajamas, flower printed pajamas.

His face turned hot, his blush went down from his face to his chest, he could feel himself vibrating from embarrassment.

*what the fuck is this, how old am I?? Five??*

Porsche cleared his throat and answered, “Yeah, right, I’ll come back in a moment.” And he ran out of the gym towards his room to change. 

Porsche looked around for clothes and  when he didn’t find anything he stopped a servant.

“Where are my clothes?”

“Sir?”  She looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“My clothes, where are they?”

“Sir, is something wrong? Your clothes have always been in your closet room”

“My… closet room…” the maid looked worried.

“Sir, I don’t think you’re feeling so good, it’d be for the best to go back and take a rest”. The servant took him by the elbow trying to make him enter his room.

“No, I was just… I mean, I couldn’t find my special shirt, could you help me find it?” Porsche was cringing at his own words.

The maid’s face became soft, “But of course, Sir, let’s go.” 

It turned out, Porsche did had clothes, a lot of them, too much of them, he had so many clothes that  they didn’t fit in his own room, his “closet room”, as the servants called it, was a chamber full of shit in a completely separated space from his bedroom, like in the dramas he used to watch when he had free time, the closet was big, full of clothes, jewelry, shoes, ties and what not.

“What shirt would you have me find, sir?” Porsche looked at her, he had completely forgotten she was here.

“Where are my sports clothes?” The servant frowned.

“Sport clothes, sir?”

Porsche tried not to roll his eyes or scream, “Yes, sport clothes.”

“Sir, I don’t think you’re in the state of–“

Porsche exploded, “ I will decide in what state I’m in! I will decide what to do! And what I want to do now is go to the fucking gym, I know you’re doing your job, but what’s with you all controlling me and trying to order me around??!” The maid looked at her feet, Porsche felt ashamed of himself, only one day and he was treating the workers the same way rich people used to treat him every time they went to the bar, “ Look, I’m sorry I took it out on you, I know you’re only doing your job…” Porsche wasn’t used to people ordering him and controlling him, he had always been independent, only him, himself and his person, it was frustrating when someone else thought they had the right to tell him what to do, “ Could you just… I mean, do you know where the gym clothes are?” 

The maid nodded and pointed at one part of the closet, Porsche moved his head in thanks.

“Thank you, you can go now” the maid waied and left the room.

He touched his face and massaged his temples.

“I’m such a fucking asshole.”  He walked to the drawer and opened it, looking inside he groaned.

“What the hell is this shit?” All the  clothes inside were in pastel tones, Porsche didn’t have anything against pastels, he just didn’t like to wear them,  they made him uncomfortable. Before his job at the bar, Porsche had always been a blue collar worker, that kind of job required dark colors so it wasn’t obvious how dirty they were.

Even though he was now living some rich kid’s life he still hadn’t forgotten his old one.

Porsche opened the rest of the drawers and the dresser, all the clothes inside were shit, not only were they in light colors but they also looked like something a nun would wear. What's up with all those loose fitted shirts, what about the baggy slacks and pants? Porsche used to wear fitted clothes, despite him not being in his past body, the current one wasn’t so bad, he didn’t have his muscles but he also wasn’t out of shape, Porsche just needed to hit the gym and he would recuperate the mass instead of being a skinny twat.

He couldn’t believe he was saying this but he needed to go shopping.

~•~

After hours of looking for something decent to wear outside (a monotone look of a white baggy shirt with white jeans), hours of searching for his wallet and keys and some more time surfing the web for a good mall to shop, he was finally ready.

He went out of the house, and began walking to the nearest bus stop according to what google maps was telling him. The mall in question wasn’t a fancy one, Porsche was sure the clothes he liked to wear weren’t in shops such as Gucci or Prada, he was more of a Walmart and garage sales guy.

After waiting for some minutes the bus finally came and  as he got in he wondered where Kinn was, how he looked and what was he doing. 

He wasn’t interested in him, but he couldn’t deny, Kinn was an unusual person, he had read his life after all, he knew all about his mother’s assassination, the strangled relationship with his brothers and his indifference towards his father. Everything in Kinn’s life was already written in paper, even though he was powerful, he was still under his father’s thumb, he was the next heir, he had to be perfect and that included making perfect decisions, Tawan hadn’t been one of them; at least, his father didn’t consider it so, saying Tawan was a sheep in wolf’s clothing and that he was only with him for his money. Kinn of course, didn’t pay attention to what he had said, Tawan was the first decision he had ever made, he wasn’t going to leave him just because his father had some misconceptions.

Porsche leaned his forehead against the window.

Most of the novel was written from Kinn’s point of view, so Porsche considered he actually knew Kinn’s personality and train of thought very well, what was a big mystery here, were his  brothers and Tawan, Porsche didn’t worry about the first ones, he didn’t think he would get to know them, he would make sure to break off the engagement before he got to meet the psychos, no, the biggest unknown here was Tawan, could it be possible that he actually was a double faced bitch? Well, whatever the outcome was, it wasn’t his problem, Porsche just needed to make sure to get the two together so he could be out of the equation.

The bus stopped at his destination, Porsche got out and began walking towards the mall, he was lucky it wasn’t far from the station.

He wasn’t the kind of person to look around when entering a mall, he actually got kind of stressed if he passed too much time around shops, so he just beelined to Walmart, approached the men clothes section and began choosing some tank tops, dark fitted shirts, dark skinny and straight jeans and sports clothes. After he finished and felt satisfied he went directly to the cashier.

He was about to go back home when he stopped in front of a converse shop, he remembered he didn’t have any “decent” shoes apart from the only tenis shoes he was already wearing.

He shrugged and entered the shop, already knowing what he wanted; the classic black boot converse style.

“Hello, sir, may I help you?” A cute kid came to him, he nodded and recited the number and type of shoes he wanted.

“I don’t need to try them on, I already know they are gonna fit.” The kid smiled at him and went to the back of the store to retrieve them for him.

Porsche waited for him, sitting on a stool and watching curiously around him. The door’s bell chimed, announcing the presence of new customers. Porsche was about to look when the kid came back with his shoes.

“Will that be all?”

“Yes.” Porsche offered him the black card he had found in his wallet. With his new shoes in one hand and the rest of his bags in the other, Porsche turned around only to stop abruptly after he ran into a stranger, he was about to apologize when the man spoke.

“What are you doing here?” Porsche looked up, the man in front of him wasn’t much taller than him, but he was broader making him look imposing, he was handsome; with fair skin, thick eyebrows and phoenix eyes, his hair was raven black, not too long but not too short, he was wearing a shirt with the first buttons down and tight fitted black slacks that didn’t left anything to the imagination, letting everyone see long strong legs.

Porsche frowned looking at the man and then at the boy at his side. Said boy widened his eyes when he noticed his gaze on him, he hid behind the man, whimpering.

The other moved the boy behind him so he was completely covered by his high stature.

“I said–“

“I heard you just fine the first time.” The man raised his eyebrows until they almost touched his hairline, Porsche was impressed, “Geez, I wonder what a person would do in a shoe shop.”

The man sneered at him and crossed his arms in front of his chest, Porsche’s eyes went directly at them, they were nice arms, sue him.

“A person like you. ” He intoned the “you” with disgust, “wouldn’t be in this kind of low class mall, were you stalking me again?”

*Stalking him again?* Porsche furrowed his brows *wait… don’t tell me this is–??!*

“Kinn.” said a breathy voice behind him, “Kinn let’s go, I’m scared.” 

If this was Kinn, then the guy behind him was Tawan? The audacity of this bitch, scared of what? He wasn’t even that pretty, such a bad taste in men, Kinn.

Kinn’s gaze softened and then hardened when he turned to look at him.

“I’m not stalking you.” Porsche moved the bags he was holding, “I was shopping.”

“Of course you were shopping.” Kinn rolled his eyes, “What I want to know is why you were shopping here.”

“Oh my god, you’re so fucking entitled.” Kinn’s surprised face comforted him, he guessed Kinn wasn’t used to someone talking back, even less from Porsche, the guy who was infatuated with him and treated him as if he farted perfume. “I’m sorry your majesty, did I step on your moment?”

“I- what?” Porsche smiled at him, Kinn was stunned.

“Are you deaf or just stupid?” At this point Tawan had stopped hiding behind Kinn and was looking at him with narrowed eyes, where was the damsel in distress act? “This is a public place, I’m my own person and I can go wherever the hell I want,” Porsche’s smile became wider and wider with every word he spouted, Kinn closed his dry eyes, he didn’t know when he had stopped blinking, he sighed and massaged his globes.

“Look this is not the time to–“

“Great, I’m  going then, have a lo-ve-ly date,” Porsche turned around, walking decidedly out of the store when he spotted a man entering it, years of living in a dangerous neighborhood had taught him how to and when to spot danger, he knew he was right when he watched the man move his hand to the inside of his baggy jacket pocket, he was wearing a black cap that obscured most of his face, but his posture betrayed what he was about to do, he was facing towards Kinn, the other wasn’t aware of the man’s presence because he was too busy scolding Porsche to pay attention to his surroundings, when he saw the first sight of a gun, Porsche knew he had to act.

“Kinn! Watch out!” Porsche ran towards Kinn, the last one was confused but promptly realized what the other was trying to do when he saw the man at the other side of the store. He had already pulled out his gun, aiming at Kinn when Porsche finally got to him and tackled him alongside Tawan to the floor. 

The shot echoed through the store withdrawing panicked screams in the mall, when Porsche looked back the man was already gone.

“Fuck.” A breathy moan made him look at the sound, Kinn was under him with tightly closed eyes and one of his hands gripping his bicep.

“Fuck.” Porsche repeated, looking at the blood oozing out of the gaps of his fingers “You were shot, you fucking idiot.”

Kinn opened his eyes and looked at Porsche undignified.

“Why are you insulting me?!”

“I’m just stating a fact.”

“You-!” A wheeze  froze the two of them, “Oh shit, Tawan!” Kinn screamed trying to get up so his weight didn’t crush him.

“Porsche help me up!” The named one crossed his arms and turned up  his nose.

“I don’t want to.”

“Porsche!”

“Oh my god, fine.” The boy wasn’t as strong as he was in his original body, he had to hug Kinn’s waist to be able to lift him off Tawan.”You’re so fucking fat.”

“Porsche, I swear to god–“

“Look, there is Tawan!” He pointed at the body that was still on the floor, Kinn snapped his head towards the direction, Porsche took the opportunity to leave, he turned around and began running towards the exit, not without his new clothes and shoes.

“Porsche, you fucking asshole!” He heard a voice behind him but he was already too far to care, with a smile on his face he took the bus home.

~•~

“What were you thinking?!” Turns out being a rich kid didn't mean he didn’t have responsibilities. Porsche kept looking at his shoes, utterly grounded by his mother’s screams, “Going out without saying where, without your bodyguards, without responding to your phone!” The last sentence was practically shouted in his ear making him flinch.

“Oh, my dear,” His father said, calmly. “Leave him alone, he’s still young, it’s understandable he wanted to be alone.” His mother huffed and finally sat down next to her husband, shooting angry gazes at Porsche. “Besides,” his father smiled at him proudly, “Our boy saved his fiance’s life.”

“Ah!” His mother got up again and began pacing around the room, “That reminds me,” she clapped her hands with a bright smile, Porsche was astounded by the rapid change of humor the woman had, “Mister Korn called, he was forever grateful to you for saving his son’s life,” Porsche nodded. “So…” she sat down next to him with a manic glint in her eyes “I asked… if you could go take care of his son until his injury healed.”

“What?!” Porsche aggressively stood up, “Why did you do that?! I refuse!”

“Aww, my dear son, no need to be shy, Mister Korn and I already know how in love you are with Kinn.” Porsche wanted to puke.

“Mother no, I don’t–” Her smile began cracking, her eyes suddenly turned cold, making him shiver. “No? Porsche, do I have to remind you who was the one who begged your father and Mister Korn to marry his son?”

“I– I just–”

“That’s right, it was you, you know the Theerapanyakuns are a powerful family, they wouldn’t take it lightly if you suddenly withdraw from the marriage offer,” His mother's face was terrifying, “You wouldn’t want to cross Mister Korn, would you?”

“I– mother”

“Would you?” He sighed.

“No, mother.”

“Then it’s done, you will go to Kinn’s house tomorrow morning.”

“Tomorrow is Sunday! Also, morning?! How long do I have to stay there?” His mother smiled at him, a grin that didn’t reach her eyes.

“At least until dinner.” Porsche groaned.

“Dinner?! You can’t be serious”

“Porsche…” The warning in her voice made him stop complaining.

“Yes, mother”

“Great, now go prepare your things”

“Yes,” Porsche reluctantly went to his bedroom where he had left the new clothes he had bought in Walmart. He asked one of the servants for a backpack and began packing for tomorrow. 

*This is a fucking joke, I can’t believe I have to see that worm eyebrows again, fuck this—*

A message notification caught his attention, Porsche went to retrieve his phone, opening LINE after realizing Tem messaged him.

How are you feeling?

-Tem

Porsche smiled, it looked like Tem was actually a decent friend.

I’m good.

So, you couldn’t meet Kinn? What exactly happened?

-Tem

Told ya I wasn’t feeling good.

It’s rare for you to waste the chance to see him, you were still very excited about it a few days ago

-Tem

Porsche frowned, he didn’t want to talk about Kinn.

Let’s not talk about it, K?

Sorry man, didn’t want to make you mad

-Tem

No, it’s okay, just feeling tired.

K, see U at university, bye

-Tem

Porsche stopped packing and let himself fall on the bed.

*Holy shit university??*

He had completely forgotten about it, what was Porsche’s career again? Porsche took his phone and began scrolling around social media and group chats. He didn’t have to worry about the school he was in,  Porsche’s chauffeur would take him there,  the problem was that he most likely absolutely didn’t know anything about the major he was in or even where his classrooms were.

He was so so fucked.

*Oh well this was a problem for the Porsche of Monday* 

Porsche looked at the ceiling, and then after a few minutes he closed his eyes, falling prey to sleep.

Chapter Text

Porsche had decided he was dead and more likely in hell.

“Porsche, what are you still doing here??!” His mother grabbed his covers and threw them to the floor.

“Wake up! You were supposed to be there at ten!” She began shaking him.

He was in hell and this was his punishment, he had sinned in his previous life and now he had to pay.

“Porsche!” Her mother started hitting him with his pillow.

Porsche curled in on himself, his slim long limbs embracing his strong torso, his face hiding in his thighs and his eyes were tightly closed.

“Get up!” The kind woman who was supposed to be his mother kicked him off the bed, he hit the floor with a thump and a pained groan.

“Fuck.” He rubbed his head.

“Porsche you have fifteen minutes, no more no less.”

“Mm…” Porsche rolled on the floor until he was in a more comfortable position and began to fall asleep again.

“The chauffeur will come after the time is up– are you listening to me?!”

“Mm…”

“Porsche if you don’t answer me–“

“Yes, mom.”

“…Right, just, make yourself decent okay? It’s already 11:30, with some luck you’ll be there at 12.” Her mother left the room mumbling under her breath. 

“Uuughhh…”Porsche grumbled while trying to stand up, he had just had the best sleep in years, it was difficult for him to even remember where he was.

He opened one eye and looked around.

 *So, it hadn’t been a dream, huh?*

Porsche let out a long warm breath, closed his eyes and tried to calm his beating heart, after a few minutes he finally stood up and walked towards his closet room, he had previously seen a shower there, he could have taken a bath in his own room but he had left the new clothes he had bought yesterday in his closet room to save time.

After he finished, he walked towards the new shirts and jeans, he went for straight jeans and a simple white tank top, in his previous life all his clothes had fitted him perfectly, like a glove, now they were a little baggy around the chest and thighs, he made a mental note to go directly to the gym after finishing with Kinn.

Porsche walked around the room, looking at everything he didn’t notice the first time there. He shuffled towards the jewelry, admiring everything, passing his hand through every ring there. All of the pieces were beautiful, undoubtedly expensive and so not his style. He was about to turn around when he caught sight of a thin silver necklace, it was a slim chain, snake style, it was simple and didn’t really attract too much attention. Porsche took it and put it on,  with the white tank top and straight light blue jeans he was wearing, he kind of looked like a gigolo.

He shrugged.

He let his hair down, his bangs touching his eyebrows, caressing his long eyelashes, he looked at his reflection in the mirror, he thought about cutting his hair but decided against it, he kind of liked it, he had never had the opportunity of having it this long, it kind of suited him.

After putting on his new pair of black converse, he got out the room and walked towards the main door. He was about to leave when a voice stopped him.

“Sir!” Porsche turned, Pete was out of breath. “Sir, I’m sorry, I didn’t know where you were until now.” Porsche frowned.

“Why would you need to know where I am?” Pete froze and looked at him strangely. “I’m your bodyguard, Sir?”

“Ah, right of course…” Pete looked at him with doubt clear on his face, “I’m just nervous.”

“Oh.” Pete smiled at him and touched his shoulder in support. “Do not worry, Sir Porsche. I’m sure, Sir Kinn, would be as happy as you are to see him.” Now it was Porsche’s turn to look at him in disbelief, Pete was laying it on thick, not only was Kinn indiscreet with his interactions with Tawan, but he had also made his distaste for Porsche’s presence clear enough.

“Sir, the chauffeur has arrived, shall we?” Pete opened the car’s door for him, Porsche crossed his arms and huffed but entered without protest.

“This is going to be such a fucking long day.” Porsche massaged his eyes.  He had slept very well, but now tiredness took all over his body, he felt stressed and frustrated. 

He wanted to end his engagement with Kinn and cut every tie this current Porsche had with him, he wanted to live the life he never got to enjoy last time, and for that to happen he needed to make amends.

Porsche had never been the best at apologizing, but there was always a first time, he hated Kinn, he hated his bratty personality, his know it all voice and his rich as fuck appearance, but to achieve his goal Porsche was willing to hold back his tongue and offer an apology. After that, he was sure the engagement could be broken, after all, Kinn was in love with Tawan and Porsche hated his guts, it was a win-win for all parties involved.

“Sir?” Pete called from the front seat, “We are here.” Porsche nodded and before Pete got to his door, he opened it and stepped out, taking in the house in front of him.

He didn’t know what to expect, but he wasn’t surprised when he saw a mansion instead of a house, Kinn’s home was big, with tall doors and pretty gardens, all expensive looking and clean as fuck.

Porsche could see servants everywhere, from bodyguards to gardeners, the mansion exuded a unique image of prosperity.

Porsche immediately felt uncomfortable.

“Porsche.” The boy moved his eyes towards the voice, an old man was looking at him with a kind face, his hair was already silver and his eyes were small, with dropped eyelids because of age, still there was an intelligence and sharpness to that gaze that made Porsche’s skin crawl. “How have you been?” The man offered his hand.

He shook it and smiled at him, “I’ve been well, how have you been…um, Sir?” Porsche had some suspicions as to who this man was, but he didn’t want to make a mistake.

“I’m well,” he let go of his hand and signaled to one of his servants. “I’m sorry for the inhospitality, my son is still in his room.” So it was Kinn’s father. Porsche tried not to take offense, Kinn hadn’t even welcomed him, that nasty bitc— “But here, my servant can take you there.” Porsche nodded and followed her, as he was walking he took notice of the house, even though the Theerapanyakuns lived there, Porsche didn’t identify anything that could remotely refer to a family, the home felt like an office. “Sir, this is Mister Kinn’s room, if you need anything feel free to call for any servant”.

Porsche smiled and bowed in thanks, when the servant left, he opened the door without even bothering to knock.

“Do you not have basic manners?” Kinn asked without looking at him, his right arm was in a sling, he was focused on reading the newspaper. Porsche snorted, how old was he, 50?

“Whatever.” Porsche rolled his eyes and sat down far from him, on an available chair he had found at the end of a table. Kinn moved the newspaper, peering over it to look at Porsche with a raised eyebrow, his phoenix eyes moved from his fluffy hair, to his protruding collarbones, after a minute, he cleared his voice and said, “What’s with the clothes?”.

Porsche crossed his arms, suddenly feeling self-aware, he didn’t know how to dress himself as a rich person, in his last life, he always went for commodity over aesthetics. Porsche felt his hackles raise, suddenly feeling irritated, “What’s with them?” He answered.

“You just…” Kinn aggressively lowered the newspaper, putting all his attention on the boy in front of him. “You look different.”

“How would you know? It’s not like we really know each other.” Porsche turned his head, trying to ignore Kinn.

The other man smiled, finally putting his paper on the table, “That’s right I don’t know you  but you do know me, you’re practically obsessed with me.” Kinn smirked at him, a smile full of teeth and self-assurance.

Porsche immediately turned to him, narrowing his eyes, “Have you become delusional at your old age?”

Kinn frowned, “I’m only older by two years!”.

Porsche raised his eyebrow and covered his mouth in fake surprise, “Oh really? What a pity, I couldn’t tell, with all those lines you’ve got there.” He snorted.

Kinn slammed his fists on the table, “What lines!??”

Porsche continued, “If I were you I would totally sue that plastic surgeon, that botox on your face looks terrible.”

Kinn stood up, sending the chair he was sitting on, sprawling to the floor “I. Do. Not. Have. Botox.” Porsche carefully looked at him with a finger on his lips, thinking, “Ah, yes.” He commented, “I can totally tell.” He smirked.

“That’s it.” Kinn jumped over the table, practically sliding on the wood and landing on Porsche, sending the both of them spiraling against the floor.

“Fucking psycho bastard!” Porsche screamed, trying to dislodge Kinn’s hand from his bicep.

Porsche cursed, if he were in his original body he could have an opportunity to take Kinn, but the current Porsche was all soft curves and skinny bones, the most intelligent option was retreat.

“Fucking hell.” Porsche kneeded Kinn in the stomach, making him gasp for air, finally letting him go, “You–“ his voice sounded muffled, Porsche shrugged, he had it coming, if he hadn’t acted like a fucking asshole, they would not be in this situation.

Porsche was about to open the door when he felt a weight on his back, he turned around with the intention of kicking him when suddenly a big hand coiled around his neck and squeezed until he was gasping, “You have no idea who you’re dealing with.” Even though, Porsche’s vision was turning  black, he smiled. Ironically, he could actually say, he was the one who knew him best, every insecurity, every weakness, every torment, he knew every one of them, thanks to that fucking novel.

Porsche fell to his knees, but his smirk was intact. “Neither do you.” And with that last phrase,  he swung his fist towards Kinn’s dick just before he fell unconscious.

~•~

Porsche woke up to annoying chattering. His entire being hurt, he felt his throat burn and his head pulsate, he tried to open his eyes but only succeeded in squinting them so as to not hurt them.

In his narrowed vision, he identified Kinn’s figure next to him, he was talking to someone else, almost shouting, his hurt arm was resting on the chair while the other was holding what seemed to be a bag full of ice against his crotch.

“Hahahaha,” he softly snickered, using his voice hurt. Kinn snapped his head and narrowed his eyes, the hand that was holding the ice fisted the bag in rage.”You have the guts to laugh at me!”

“Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.” Porsche laughed at him. “Oh, I like him.” He aggressively turned to the voice,feeling as if he had almost dislocated his neck, what was up with this shitty fragile body?!

Next to Kinn, at the front of the bed Porsche was in, was a young man, older than Kinn, he had short light brown hair and a neurotic smile on his face that went perfectly well with his choice of clothing; he was wearing what seemed to be a bright neon pink onesie that covered him from head to toe.

*What is a clown doing in Kinn’s house?* Porsche thought, confused.

“Hello, brother in law.” The man said. Immediately, Porsche’s train of thought came to a halt. *Brother in law???! Don’t tell me this is–*

“Tankhun.” Kinn said in a dark voice, his bushy eyebrows meeting one another, if his eyes were guns, Tankhun would have been just a red stain on the floor by now. 

Porsche heavily sat down, catching the attention of the brothers, both Teerapanyakuns looked at him expectantly, “What?” Porsche snapped at them, his voice coming out dry and throaty.

“Oh, you poor thing.” Tankhun dramatically went to his side and passed one long skinny arm around his shoulders, “Was Kinn too rough with you?”

“Tankhun!” Kinn got up from the chair and threw the ice at his brother’s face, the latter dodged it easily, “Get out!”

His brother fake gasped, putting a hand on his chest as if he were reciting Shakespeare, “And leaving you, brute, alone with my lovely brother in law?!” Tankhun drew Porsche to his chest and held his head between his hands, embracing him.

“What the fuck.” Porsche muttered.

Kinn closed on Tankhun menacingly, “If you don’t get the hell out I’ll–“ he was about to stretch his arm out when the door suddenly opened.

“Kinn,” Korn Theerapanyakun’s imposing aura entered the room, behind him followed a man, he was using the same uniform as the other bodyguards but looked older than the rest of them. Kinn straightened out while Tankhun let himself fall on top of Porsche’s thighs. “What’s this I’m hearing about you choking Porsche?” Kinn nervously swallowed.

“Kinky.” His brother whispered into the other’s legs, Porsche snorted.

“I– father–“ Korn approached him, he had a stern expression on,  “If it wasn’t for him, you could’ve been dead by now.” He wasn’t screaming but his tone of voice demanded attention. “I thought I had taught you better than that, but you went ahead without bodyguards for that useless boy–“ Porsche frowned.

“Tawan is no–“ Korn raised his hand, Kinn automatically closed his eyes, waiting for the slap to happen.

“Don’t.” A deadly tessiture made him snap them open, right there in front of him, was Porsche, with his hand encasing his father’s wrist. Kinn held in a gasp. The man behind Korn was about to step in when Tankhun jumped on his back and held him. “Don’t. You. Ever. Hit. Him.” Korn raised an eyebrow and warningly said,

“Careful who you’re talking to, boy.” Porsche held his gaze unwaveringly and turned his chin up, “I know who I’m talking to, and my point still stands.”

“Oh-oh~” The bodyguard shushed Tankhun and covered his mouth. Everyone in the room was stupefied, for the first time in his life Kinn felt like swooning but he kept strong and looked between his father and Porsche.

After a few seconds of silence, Korn smirked, Porsche felt goosebumps all over his body. “You will make a fine wife for my boy.” He clapped him on the shoulder, almost making him fall.

“Uhh?!”

“Kinn.” The named one looked at his father over Porsche’s back, “Treat him well.” When Kinn nodded, Korn smiled again and left the room calling for his bodyguard, Chan.

“Ah, fuck.” Porsche let himself fall on the bed, his legs didn’t support him anymore, his body was shaking.

*Stupid! Stupid! Stupid.* What was wrong with him?! Why couldn’t he never keep his mouth shut?! Nothing good would come out if he angered Korn, this time he left him off easily, but what about the next? Porsche wasn’t prepared to die again! 

“Amazing!” Tankhun screamed and proceeded to yeet himself on Porsche.

“Oooof–“

“You’ll be a great addition to the family, brother in law.”

“I’m not your brother in law.” Porsche pushed him until Tankhun rolled around the bed, off of him.

“Not yet.” *Not ever* he mentally added.

Kinn scoffed and went back to the chair, sitting on it. Porsche let out a long tiring breath and got off the bed walking to the door.

“Where are you going?” It was supposed to be a question but Kinn made it sound as if he were reproaching him.

“Home.” Kinn stood up. “You can’t!” He pettutantly said.

“Watch me.” His hand was on the doorknob when Kinn added, “I'll tell your mother.”  He stopped and in disbelief, turned around with a raised eyebrow, Tankhun began cracking up, “Are you really going to tell on me to my mother?” 

Tankhun was hysterically hitting the bed, Kinn was ignoring him, Porsche would say he was doing a good job if it weren’t because of the tic in his eye.

“Are you five?” He was sure his imagination was playing tricks on him because he could have sworn Kinn was actually blushing.

“Your mother said you were going to stay until dinner.” He was stubborn, as expected from a rich kid.

Porsche rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, “Why would I want to stay until dinner? Why would you even want me to stay until dinner?”

Kinn jutted out his chin, “Are you saying you’re not a man of your word?”

He clenched his fists.

* Don’t fall for it, Don’t fall for it, Don’t fall for–*

“Ah, I should’ve expected this from you.” Kinn crossed his legs and shook his head with a smirk on his face. “You can’t handle me.”

“Fine!” He stomped to the table that was in the middle of the room and sat on the farthest chair. “I’ll stay, on one condition,” Porsche stuck up one finger.

Kinn frowned, “What?” He childishly asked.

“Apologize.” Tankhun, who had recovered from the laugh attack, began giggling again.

“Hell no.” Porsche pointed at him accusingly, “I’m going to tell your father you don’t want to apologize!”

“Why do you even want to go?! Aren’t you in love with me?!” Kinn, The perfect main character, the spotless mafia boss, the model heir of the Theerapanyakun family, was shouting at him, with an ugly red face and veins popping out from his forehead.

“Who would be in love with your insufferable narcissistic ass?!” He looked around the table until he spotted something, Porsche took it and drew his arm back.

“What are you doing with that stapler?!” He threw it at him.

“Aah! What the hell?!” Kinn fell to the floor and began crawling around the bed until he took cover behind the headrest. “Are you out of your mind?!”

“That was for choking me!” Kinn huffed, he didn’t care if this was unbecoming of the most powerful heir in Thailand, his pride was at stake, this was war.

“Oh yeah?” He shouted into the air, he couldn’t see Porsche because of the headrest. He felt around the floor until he gripped a shoe, he hurriedly came out of his hiding place and hurled the shoe at Porsche 

“Aaaaaayyyy” he hissed, covering his red forehead.

“That was for hitting me in the dick!” Porsche grabbed the edge of the table and moved it until it fell onto his side and hid behind it.

“Dick?” Porsche said, “What dick? It was so tiny, I didn’t feel anything!”

Kinn clicked his tongue, he had never felt more insulted in his life, if it were someone else Kinn would have already put a bullet through their heads, alas, this annoying person was his supposed fiancé and he couldn’t do anything about it.

“If you keep insulting me I will–“

“How can I not keep insulting you when you have eyebrows like that?!” Kinn’s left hand went to said eyebrows covering them subconsciously.

“There is nothing wrong with them!” *Right?* He thought.

Porsche opened his mouth to insult Kinn some more when the door suddenly opened. 

An awkward and uncomfortable silence took over the room, Pete opened and closed his mouth, the vision in front of him was from the apocalypse itself. The once tidy and luxurious room was a mess, with an upturned table, shoes and stationeries everywhere, Kinn behind his bed, his black hair falling on his forehead, his fair complexion was a dark red and he was breathing heavily, Tankhun was on the mattress, laughing his ass off and seemingly recording everything on his phone, and lastly, Porsche, who was behind a table with a frenzied expression on his face, was holding a compass like a knife in his right hand whilst in the left one, he was using a rule like a sword. 

“Ummm…” Pete muttered. Kinn cleared his throat and fixed his hair.

“What?” He asked him. 

“Umm… it’s time for umm…” Pete nervously looked at Porsche, “It’s time for Mister Porsche to go back,” Kinn’s eyebrows revealed his surprise. He looked at his clock, on his nightstand that had miraculously come out alive and realized it was already 7:45. “Oh.”

Porsche scrambled into a dignifying position and nodded, “Right”, he made sure he had all his things and walked towards the door. 

“See you tomorrow~” Kinn maleficently sang. Porsche showed him the finger without even looking at him and left the room.

“Ahh~” Tankhun’s voice startled him, “Your first lovers quarrel.” He put both hands on his chest, above his heart, “Isn’t it lovely?”

“Get out.” His big brother pouted, “Get out!” He stuck his tongue out and exited the room. 

“Aaahh.” Kinn fell backwards on his bed, his skin was clammy, he felt sweat crawling down his back and his mind was a mess.

*What the hell…* He swatted at his forehead, wiping the perspiration there, then he let his arms fall on either side of his head. His eyes looked at the ceiling with a vacant expression.

Porsche had been weird, he had always been weird but in a creepy stalkerish way, however since yesterday, when he  saw him in the mall  he had a different  glint to his gaze, it was as if he was a completely new person. He had been daring, brave, he had had the guts to make fun of him only to save his life the next second.

Kinn turned, lying face down.

Maybe he was thinking too much into this? He really didn’t know Porsche, before this he had never had a conversation longer than three words with him, could it be possibel that he had actually misjudged him?. 

Kinn took his phone out of his pocket and looked at the wallpaper. A smile formed on his face, right there in front of him, was the photo of Tawan he had sneakily taken inside the Prada boutique, when Tawan had begged him cutely to buy him one of the bags he had seen in one of the display windows. 

He thoughtfully tapped his chin.

Maybe he could convince Porsche to break off the engagement? He didn’t look as if he was actually in love with him, could it be that it may have been a temporary infatuation? Kinn didn’t blame him, he was handsome, charming and had a shit ton of money, for a person like Porsche it was only natural to fall for him, although…

He sat cross legged on the bed.

Kinn had never deemed Porsche worthy of a second glance, he was a brat who got everything he wanted on a silver platter, he didn’t have any ambitions or goals, he was pathetic and hopeless, Porsche was the definition of a useless rich kid, just the type of person Kinn hated the most. This Porsche, tho, the one who saved him from a bullet, who was sarcastic and sassy, was a side of him he didn’t know.

How come he never realized what kind of person he was? Was everything he knew a lie? Who was the real Porsche? Was he actually in love with him? And if not, what would he gain out of marrying him? 

Kinn clenched his fists.

He didn’t like it, he didn’t like not knowing things, not being in control of the situation, was Porsche dangerous or not? Was he a menace to his carefully crafted life? What about Tawan? Was he safe? Porsche knew him, he could hurt Tawan out of spite.

What was he playing at? What was his goal? It seemed like Porsche was trying another way to gain his trust, was all of this an act? Did he suddenly change thinking he could make Kinn love him? 

He snorted.

Impossible, Tawan was it for him, and although Porsche had left behind that atrocious fashion sense and changed those ugly baggy clothes for more fitted ones that highlighted his lithe but strong figure, his long slim legs and that snatched waist, Kinn wasn’t a bimbo who fell for the first pretty face he saw.

He didn’t care if Porsche wore that fucking white tank top that didn’t hide the form of his nipples, his sharp collarbones and the tan of shoulders, Kinn hadn’t even put an ounce of attention to his willowy neck and how nice it had felt in his hands, he hadn’t noticed his fluffy dark hair twirling around every time Porsche threw a stapler at him, he had barely acknowledged those snarky red lips insulting his dick size.

He had remained completely unfazed.

Kinn nodded, walking towards the bathroom, he began his night routine, opening the shower head and waiting for the warm water to come.

*That 's right.*  He thought, proud of himself. 

He was an immovable force, he was the one who pulled the strings, the one who controlled everything, one little guy such as Porsche wasn’t enough to make him change his ways, he wasn’t Tawan and that was reason enough not to love him.

Kinn entered the shower.

He needed to take measures. First, order Pete to keep a close eye on Porsche and to inform of any potential changes in the latter; second, protect Tawan at all cost, he had always been a sensitive and fragile person, he didn’t doubt Porsche’s presence would make him feel overwhelmed, Kinn needed to keep the two of them away for Tawan’s sake; and third, don’t let Porsche get close to him, he may seem as if he had changed but Kinn could see through him, he may be after his money, his high social status or even maybe his place among the mafia, perhaps he was only interested in his body and overall looks, Kinn didn’t care, whatever the reason was, a person could not change that drastically overnight, it didn’t matter, he would be prepared for anything Porsche threw his way.

Kinn stepped out of the bathroom just as his cellphone rang. He padded towards it, when he saw who the caller was he smiled and answered the phone.

“Hello, sugar.”

“Hello, Kinn.” The voice on the other side was soft and graceful. 

“What are you doing?” He began preparing his night clothes. “Not much.” The other answered, “I’m sooo bored, I want to go watch a movie.” Kinn chuckled, utterly charmed, his Tawan was like a little prince. “Ooh, really?” 

“Kiiiiinnn.” He whined childishly, “Chanel just released a new clothing line, it’s sooo cuutee.” Kinn shook his head, ah, his lover and his obsession with fashion.

“Ok, I will take you there, do you also want to go eat at your favorite restaurant?” He entered the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror.

“Yes! See you tomorrow at university then.” He smiled, already imagining Tawan in his cute uniform, looking up and smiling at him, clinging to his arm cutely.

They would meet at their special spot in school, hang out a little, maybe make out, Tawan would blush and Kinn would make fun of him, after that he would take him out on a date, they’d…

Aren’t you forgetting something? 

Startled, Kinn jumped in his place, a suspiciously familiar and annoying voice had interrupted his thoughts.

Suddenly, his fantasy with Tawan was destroyed, and instead of the petite figure of his boyfriend, in front of him was a tanned tall boy, he was looking at him with disgust, his arms were crossed in front of his chest, the tip of his foot was insistently tapping the ground.

Aren’t you forgetting something? Porsche from his imagination repeated, I’m supposed to take care of you after school, fucking idiot.

“Ah!” Kinn shouted.

“Kinn?” 

How could he have forgotten, Porsche was supposed to be with him until his injury healed.

Kinn looked at the ceiling in annoyance and huffed.

Whatever, he was not as important as his date with Tawan, he’d deal with Porsche tomorrow.

“It’s nothing sugar,” he clarified.  “See you at school?”

“Yes, see you.” Kinn took one more glance at his reflection, “Wait!” 

Tawan, who was about to hang up, stopped in time and brought his cellphone to his ear. “Yes?” 

Kinn breathed deeply, he needed courage to say what he was about to ask.

“I need to ask you something, it’s very important, okay? I’ll not repeat the question after this.” 

Tawan held in his breath, could it be…

“Yes, of course Kinn, what do you want to know?” Tawan was vibrating, he raised his left hand and carefully observed his ring finger, a diamond would look very nice in there.

“You need to be honest with me.” Tawan nodded.

“Always,  Kinn, always, just ask me!!”

“Ok…” Kinn exhaled and then nervously asked, “ Is there something wrong with my eyebrows?”

“…”

Chapter Text

The moment Porsche opened his eyes, he knew it wasn’t going to be a good day.

He had woken up at ass o’clock to prepare for his supposed university life. He didn’t know what career he was studying or where his classes were. Even if he knew all of that he had no idea what the other Porsche had learned before he had taken his place, at least he remembered reading in the novel about Porsche’s interest in entering the same university Kinn had.

Porsche rolled his eyes at that.

The guy didn’t even enroll because he liked it, but because Kinn was there, how more pathetic could he be? His stalkerish tendencies had clouded his judgment. Even though Porsche kind of felt sympathy for the original goods, he couldn’t help but feel mad at him, he could’ve done so much more with the money the other took for granted. For one, go to a good university, back in his original world, even though Porsche was actually studying, the school he had been in was dubious at best; he originally thought that to have a good life he needed a career, but soon he realized that tuition costs were far greater than what he could afford, in the end he became a student in one of the worst universities in Thailand.

Porsche stopped in front of the gates and looked up at the majestic view.

The school in front of him was like the ones he had seen in dramas. He didn’t even know places like these really existed, because right in front of him was a campus bigger than a mall, with expensive clean white buildings, tall majestic trees, sports fields and a cafeteria that was better described as a restaurant.

*What in the flying fuck…*

“Porsche!” A voice from behind him said. He turned around only to see a pretty guy with a big smile saluting him, Porsche returned the greeting awkwardly, “Hey… you…” His eyes squinted, he looked familiar, where had he seen him?

“You didn’t answer the messages I left you!” 

*Messages?* 

He took out his phone and checked his LINE. There, at the top of all chats, was Tem’s contact with a circle depicting the number of messages he had left him, he looked at the profile picture and then at the guy in front of him.

Oh, so this was Tem, no wonder he looked familiar, he actually remembered him from one of the photos in his gallery and his LINE profile.

“Sorry, I forgot.” Tem nodded, agreeable and gave him a once over, frowning,  “Where is your uniform?”  He stared blankly at him, Tem was wearing a light jacket over his clothes with a logo on his chest on the left that said, “ Accounting .”

*Oh, please, please tell me that’s not actually my career*

“My… uniform?”

Tem scowled and got closer to him, “You don’t look sick,” he touched his forehead, “You don’t feel sick either.”

Porsche slapped his hand away, “I’m not sick!” God, what was with everyone treating him as if he were made of glass, “I told you, I forgot.” 

“It’s just very unlike you to forget something!”  Porsche crossed his arms and scowled.

“Well I’m human okay? It happens!” Tem raised his hands in surrender, “ Well okay, my bad, I’m sorry, let’s just hope you don’t get scolded by the teachers… by the way, can I see your homework?”

*Holy shit, what homework* Porsche wanted to cry.

“My homework?”

“Yes! That one the teacher of finances gave us on Friday?” At Porsche’s panicked face, he incredulously said, “Wait, you didn’t do it? Who are you and what have you done to my friend?” Tem playfully hit his shoulder, Porsche could feel the world crumbling over him.

“W-what? Hahahahaha, I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m the same as always,” he could feel the sweat forming on his temples. He felt ready to faint when a slick black car pulled over in front of them.

A young boy with long hair and a permanent scowl got out from the driver seat and opened the passenger doors.

The first thing he saw was Kinn’s ugly face, Porsche had a disgusted grimace on.

The both of them looked at each other without saying anything.

“Kinn?” A soft voice came from within the car, Porsche’s gaze fell on the other, Kinn rapidly offered his hand to help Tawan exit the car. “Oh,” he said after seeing Porsche, he gripped Kinn’s arm and lowered his face.

“Porsche…” Tem touched his shoulder in pity and support, he kept looking at the strange love triangle in front of him.

He rolled his eyes. 

What had his life become? Was he in a fucking korean drama? A soap opera? When was he finally going to get over this shitty engagement? Did Kinn really have to stop in front of him? Was all that dramatism necessary? 

He looked around, some students were already surrounding them, whispering among themselves.

Didn’t they have classes to go to? He wasn’t a circus! He didn’t even know why the three of them continued being in a stand still for three minutes without saying anything while looking at each other uncomfortably.

“Porsche…” Kinn said, Tawan snapped his head up and landed his gaze on him, “Do not make a sc…”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, fucking weirdo.” Murmurs exploded, some were directly pointing at them while others were furiously typing on their phones.

*Seriously, don’t they have anything better to do?*

Porsche was turning around to finally enter the school when Tawan spoke up.

“Please, I’m sorry.” He shuddered, one of his hands was in front of his body against his chest gripping his shirt, the other cradled his fist protectively.

“Tawan!” Kinn tried to put him behind him, but Tawan stood his ground.

“I know this is causing you pain, but…” Porsche looked around searching for cameras. Was all this really necessary? Were they actually pulling a prank on him and that was why everyone was acting stupid? “And I…” He continued while Porsche tried to convince himself this wasn’t actually his life, “And I love him!” He screamed. “Tawan…” Kinn sounded touched, Porsche considered buying gummy bears, death was better than this bullshit.

“Mmm… congratulations?” He put his hands in his pockets, “Look can I go? This is getting really awkward.” 

“I- uh?” 

“Tem, let’s go, Kinn’s eyebrows are stressing me out.”

“What did you say?!” Kinn was reaching out for Porsche but was stopped by Tawan who latched onto his arm, pulling him back towards him, “Kinn stop! What are you doing?!”

Porsche ignored the commotion behind him and began walking aimlessly.

“Are you okay?” Tem looked worried. “Of course,” He raised an eyebrow, “Why wouldn’t I be?” Tem stuttered, “I- you- Kinn… he was with Tawan?”

Porsche frowned, “Yeah, and?” 

“They got out of the same car!” 

“I’m aware.” He was looking at Tem as if he had grown a second head. Tem was looking right back at him with the same dumbfounded expression on his face, “Dude…”

“Stop, just keep walking,” Porsche pushed Tem in front so he could follow behind him. “Let’s go to the classroom ok?” When Tem nodded, Porsche let out a charismatic smile, making Tem felt his heart pound in his chest.

When they entered the room a few students were already there, grouped around a pretty girl with bright red lips and lovely smile. The moment she saw him entering, her smile turned into a sharp smirk.

“Oh-oh, Porsche,” her tone was playful, mocking. “I just heard what happened,” she pouted, “I’m so sorry your engagement is not going how you wanted it, what will all of those rumors of your fiancé fluttering around Tawan, I won’t say I blame him though.” With every word Porsche’s eyebrows climbed up his forehead.

*Am I seriously in a shoujo manga?*

“What? Shocked? You don’t have anything to say?” She turned around towards her friends and snickered along them.

It didn’t look like this was the first time she made fun of Porsche, had he seriously been getting bullied by such a pathetic girl?? 

Porsche strained his lips until a smile was formed.

“Oh, my,” he took a step closer, she snapped her head towards him. “W-what are you doing?” He didn’t answer, just pulled the corner of his lips until a bigger smile was on, he took another step.

“Uh?!” He got closer. He knew how to treat these rich girls pretty well.

When there was nowhere else to go, he bracketed her against the desk, his arms were on either side of her body, his face was millimeters away from hers.

“A pretty girl with such a shitty mouth,” he gave her his best bedroom eyes, Porsche thumbed her bottom lip as his other hand began caressing her waist, the touch soft, almost non-existent. “I could give it a better use.”  

Her face rapidly became the same color of a tomato, her pupils dilated and her breath hitched, Porsche closed in on her, their lips almost touching.

“Wouldn’t you love that, baby?” She whimpered, her legs were tightly clasped together, her thighs continued rubbing against each other. Porsche internally snickered and finally let her go, stepping aside and pushing a shocked Tem so they could sit.

The girl unceremoniously fell on the desk’s chair, her group of friends hurried to her side.

“Porsche what the fuck??” Tem held him by the elbow, “What the hell was that??” Porsche looked at him and shrugged.

“Aren’t you and Kinn–“  Porsche narrowed his eyes annoyed, “You know what? This two-faced bullshit ends here.” He firmly declared.

“Uh?”

“How come I’m the only one getting scolded, grounded, accused or bullied when Kinn is actually the one who is obviously “ cheating ” on me?” He rolled his eyes at the word, he couldn’t give less of a fuck about what and whom Kinn was doing, but he hated hypocrisy, he hated how people were treating him even though he hadn’t done anything wrong, even his own “best friend” was spouting bullshit, Porsche didn’t have the patience or tolerance to deal with that shit.

“It’s obvious he’s not, never had been, and never will be interested in me, Tem.”  His friend looked at him without saying anything. “I’m tired of people’s expectations and bullshit, I don’t give a shit about Kinn nor do I give a shit about this engagement.” Tem’s eyes were laced with guilt, he nodded and sat at the  front of the row, he motioned for Porsche to do the same.

“You’re right, I’m sorry, I know my behavior was inexcusable but I was just shocked,” he raised his head. “You’ve been acting strange, I was worried, I know I shouldn’t have done that.”

Porsche smiled, he passed an arm over his shoulders, “Don’t worry, I’m okay.”

Tem smiled and raised his pinky, “Still friends?” Porsche did the same and interlaced their fingers moving them up and down, “Still friends.” Tem nodded, then frowned, and eyed Porsche strangely, “What?”

Tem nervously licked his lips, “Can I ask you something?” 

He nodded, “Sure.”

“It’s just…” He bit his lower lip and glanced at the girl, she was still red and passed out over her desk, “Weren’t you…”

He raised his eyebrows, Tem took a long breath.

“Weren’t you openly gay?!”

Porsche felt like coughing out blood.

~•~

About three things Porsche was absolutely positive:

First: Kinn was an asshole.

Second: There was a part inside Porsche, and he didn’t know how dominant that part might be, that longed to punch Kinn in the face.

And third: Apparently, original Porsche was supposed to be unconditionally and irrevocably gay.

Porsche crossed his arms.

“What do you mean you’re not going to be in your house?” Kinn imitated his posture and jutted his chin out, looking over him as if he were dirt, Porsche wanted to murder him.

“It is just as I said,” Kinn had intercepted him on his way to his lunch break, Porsche had two hours to waste until he needed to go to his next class or at least that’s what Tem told him, “I have a date, I’ll be busy.” 

Porsche rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue, “What am I supposed to tell my mother then?” Kinn shrugged,“That sounds like a you problem.”

He groaned and looked at the sky long suffering, “God, you’re such a pompous asshole.” Kinn snickered, “Are you sure you’re not talking about yourself?”

“A pain in the ass,” He said with gritted teeth. “You wish,” Kinn responded.

“Don’t say disgusting shit.” He spat out and turned around, he actually wanted to take advantage of his break to go eat something instead of wasting it by talking to Kinn. “Goodbye!” Kinn sang mockingly, Porsche looked at him over his shoulder and gave him the finger.

*Fucking asshole* 

Porsche entered the cafeteria, sat in one of the chairs and waited for Tem there. He was fuming inside, he needed to smoke, to fight, he needed to let some steam out so he could finally feel like he could breathe.

“Did you hear? Krystal’s party is tonight.” He raised an eyebrow and leaned back until he could listen more clearly, “Were you even invited?” His friend punched him in the shoulder, “Of course I was! Who do you think I am?”

“What party?” Porsche asked, finally interrupting the two of them, both boys looked at him and then eyed each other. “Mm… the party that Krystal is organizing, you know, for her birthday.” The other nodded and then added, “She’s actually from accounting, don’t you know her?” He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

He was about to deny it when a manicured hand appeared in his view, he startled and raised his head, right next to him was the same girl from before. “You,” her tone was condescending, Porsche would have thought she actually hated him if it weren’t because of the red on her cheeks, “Don’t think I have forgotten what you did to me this morning.” When he raised an eyebrow, she swallowed and looked at the ceiling, her face practically on fire, “Give me your number.” She demanded. “Huh?” Porsche said. “Uh?” Everyone in the cafeteria echoed, a sepulchral silence drowned the camaraderie.

“You have to go to my party tonight,” she rapidly eyed him and then averted her gaze. “Your… party?” He got elbowed by the guys. “Dude, that’s Krystal,” one of them furiously whispered. “The hottest girl on campus,” the other said.

“Krystal?” He was dumbfounded. “Wait,” she snapped, “You don’t actually know my name?” She rested her hands on her hips, “What the hell is wrong with you?”  The whispering among the students began, “Give me your number, now.”  Porsche smiled shyly, Krystal felt hot all over, “I haven’t memorized my number, sorry.” 

Immediately Krystal wanted to slap him, maybe kiss him too, “Fine!” She snapped her hand out, “Give me your fucking phone, I’m going to type mine instead.” He handed it over and when she finished typing it, she threw it at him and marched out the cafeteria, her group of friends closely following behind.

“Damn,” the guy said, playfully slapping him, “You’ve got game, dude,” Porsche smiled, “I’m Jom.” He nodded and offered his hand, “I’m Porsche.”

“No shit,” Jom’s friend said, “Everyone knows you.”

“Pool…” There was a warning in Jom’s tone. “What?” Pool asked, he raised his hands, “Aren’t you curious about that ?”

“What the hell are you two talking about?” Pool looked at Jom, the latter was shaking his head, Pool shrugged and faced Porsche, “Is it true that you’re actually engaged to Kinn?” Porsche was flabbergasted, “Is it true that Kinn is cheating on you with someone else?”

“Pool, that’s enough,” Jom held his arm but Pool shook it off. “It’s okay.” Porsche rested his chin on his hand.

This right there was an opportunity, he could say the truth, say the two of them were at odds. Jom looked like someone who could keep a secret, on the other hand Porsche wasn’t so sure Pool would keep his mouth shut, if Porsche were a good person, he would keep the engagement and cheating issues to himself, unfortunately, that was not the case.

Porsche was a petty bitch.

“Well…” He leaned over, his two friends doing the same, “Swear you won’t say anything?” Both of them nodded, Pool was practically vibrating, “Both things are true.”

“No way,” Jom crossed his arms. Pool punched the air, “I knew it!”

“Oh, yes, Kinn, such an unfortunate case.” Porsche shook his head, an expression of grief came over his features. They looked at each other, confused, “What do you mean?”

He heavily exhaled, “Well…”

~•~

It was the end of the day and Porsche was tired.

“Sir,” Pete was at the entrance with a big smile on his pretty face, “This way please.” He attempted to take Porsche’s backpack but he stopped him, “Don’t, I can do it.”

“Oh, okay” He opened the car’s door and when Porsche got in, they finally parted from school. “To Sir Kinn’s house, Young Master?” Porsche groaned and let himself fall horizontally in the backseat, he looked at the roof.

He felt frustrated, exasperated and mad, it hadn’t even been a rough day, god knows Porsche had had it worse. But there was something about this life that left Porsche with a bad taste in his mouth, he felt collared, controlled by everyone around him, by the expectations of his non-parents and the pressure of the engagement.

What was the point of having so much money if Porsche couldn’t be free? When he couldn’t breath and be whoever he wanted to be? 

“Sir?” Pete repeated. “Yes,” he answered without paying too much attention.

He didn’t want to go home, it didn’t matter how much he wanted to believe it, the people in that house were not his real parents, his things were not his, and he wasn’t even the real Porsche.

He didn’t know why he felt so affected by this, it wasn’t as if in his last life he actually had something he could call his, but at least he was the boss of his own life. He was poor but he took pride in the little things he achieved, he didn’t have a lot, but at least he could say that what little he had, he had obtained it hard earnestly.

Now he felt empty, he never had as much in his life as now, but why was he feeling so useless? Could he even call himself Porsche anymore? When the body he was inhabiting wasn’t even his own and his life wasn’t the one he had lived for 23 years.

Now he was stuck in a 19 year old body, surrounded by superficial and infuriating people who kept ordering him around, feeling as if they had any say in his life.

“Sir? We’re here.”  Porsche got out before Pete could get to him, he looked at the high, expensive gates in front of him, he felt the tiredness in his bones settling like shackles.

When he entered nobody received him, Porsche didn’t really feel surprised, Kinn was out with that snake, and Sir Korn was surely occupied.

Porsche headed towards Kinn’s room, he was about to enter when a big hand gripped his arm.

“You’re not permitted to go in there without Sir Kinn’s supervision.” For the looks of it, the guy was a bodyguard, he was pale with big large eyes and short dark hair.

“Ken,” Pete warned, he seized his arm in a tight grip, “Sir Porsche is Sir Kinn’s fiancé, do not disrespect him.” Ken was taller than Pete, he was also broader and more muscular, but there was something in his stance, in the glint of his eyes and the darkness of his gaze that made Ken swallow heavily.

“I’m just following orders.” Pete and Ken looked at each other, Porsche felt like watching a lion and a hyena fight to death.

“Stop, it’s okay, I’ll just go.” Pete snapped his head towards him, “Sir–“

“I said it was okay.” Pete clasped his mouth tightly and let go of Ken’s arm, “Okay.”

“Where is Tankhun?”

“Sir?” Porsche started to walk away, Pete was following behind, “Tankhun, where is he?”

“I- in his room, Sir.” Porsche rolled his eyes, “Yes, but where is his room?”

“I’ll take you there.”

Unlike Kinn, who always behaved like there was something up his ass, Tankhun actually looked like someone who knew how to have fun.

“So, Pete…” The bodyguard nodded, “Yes, Sir?” Porsche smiled, his white straight teeth on sight and his pretty eyes turned into moon crescents. He signaled Pete to walk next to him, “How come you know where Tankhun’s room is?”

Pete stopped, his eyes were wide, his mouth was open, stuttering.

“I- I-“ Porsche’s smile strained, he knew why Pete knew, of course he did, out of all the bodyguards Kinn employed, Pete was the one Kinn trusted the most, that was why he had sent him to spy on him. “Last time you came I looked around, Sir, that’s why I know where it is.” The both of them remained in silence, indeed Pete was the best man Kinn had, but for the life of him, Porsche couldn’t figure out how come Pete could be a spy when he was shit at lying.

“Of course,'' He would take it, for now.

When they entered Tankhun’s room, the latter was watching what looked like a drama. There were two bodyguards at his side, eating popcorn.

“Tankhun.” He snapped his head up, when he saw Porsche he smiled and jumped to his feet, “Brother in law! How good to see you, what are you doing here?” 

Porsche sat next to Tankhun, “Why aren’t you with my brother?” He shrugged, “He’s on a date.” An uncomfortable silence spread, “Oh, that stupid boy, sometimes I can’t believe we actually share the same blood.”

Porsche giggled. “Why didn’t you go home?” Tankhun raised his eyebrows, Porsche shook his head and leaned on Tankhun’s shoulder, he heard gasps behind him but he ignored them in favor of looking at Tankhun with big teary eyes.

He had always been an affectionate person, he hadn’t realized how much he needed to touch someone until he saw Tankhun’s welcoming smile.

“I prefer to be with you P’Tankhun.” Someone was coughing behind him followed by a choking sound. He could hear someone sniffing, Porsche would bet all his money on Pete. Tankhun was silent, Porsche was about to apologize, thinking he had crossed a line when two skinny arms enveloped him, “Careful, I might steal you from my brother.”

“Sir!” The bodyguard with the glasses shouted, Tankhun clicked his tongue and moved his hands in the air carelessly, “Of course I’m joking, you all don’t have any sense of humor.”

Porsche watched the television for a while, “Why are we watching this?” Tankhun scowled and pushed him out of his embrace, “What do you mean why? This is the ultimate drama!” Porsche looked at the screen, the girl with the dark glasses was crying for the tenth time in a span of three minutes, “Why don’t we go out?” 

“Sir…” Pete was cut off by Tankhun, “What is out there that is so good?” 

“Aren’t you bored? There are so many things out there to do.” Tankhun raised his hand, “Out there? I’m not going unless it’s necessary.”

Porsche, leaned again on his shoulder, there was a charming smile on his face, “But if you come with me, you’ll be thrilled.”

Tankhun looked at his feet, “Well you’ve never been kidnapped like I was.”  Porsche wanted to slap himself, “Come on, P’Tankhun, who would dare to do anything to you? You’ve got your bodyguards, plus Pete and most importantly, me.” Tankhun snorted at the last one, Porsche tried not to feel offended.

“You? What can you do?! You’re so skinny!” Pete covered his mouth, Porsche pouted, he really needed to put on some muscle. “We need to give ourselves a chance,” Tankhun rolled his eyes, Porsche began massaging his shoulders, “Come with me, for once, pleeaseee”

“This is so unnecessary.” 

~•~

Krystal’s party was supposed to be in a bar called Hum Bar, at least that’s what she had messaged him, after Porsche gave his cellphone to one of Tankhun’s bodyguards (Pol, as he had introduced himself) so he could follow google maps, they found themselves in an eye-catching but very low class bar.

Wasn’t Krystal supposed to be rich? How come she had her party here?!

“Porsche what the hell is this?”

“Mmm… a bar?” Tankhun gave him a deadpan expression, “Can we even call this a bar?!” Tankhun crossed his arms and grabbed the door handle, “I’m going back.”

“Wait!” Porsche hugged him from behind by the waist, “Let’s just enter, please?! Don’t judge a book by his cover! We’ll have fun!” Tankhun narrowed his eyes, he glanced at the place and then at Porsche and then he clicked his tongue, “If I get bored, we will leave immediately.” He hmphed.

Porsche clapped in succes and offered him his best smile, he passed an arm around Tankhun’s shoulders and ushered him inside, the three bodyguards following close and in alert.

The place was full of neon lights, most of them green and red, it was cozy, Porsche himself would’ve loved this place in his last life, now though… he eyed Tankhun, the latter was scowling, he was looking around with a disgusted expression on his face and his arms in front of him rejectfully, he turned his head towards him and opened his lips. Porsche knew he was about to call his little escapade off and he couldn’t let that happen.

“I’ll come back in a moment.” And with that he ran off to the other side of the bar, “Por–Sir?!” He heard Pete’s voice behind him, he ignored it and stopped in front of the DJ.

He needed to change the music, whatever he was putting on was atrocious.

“Hey, let’s change the music, yeah?” The DJ looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “Sorry can’t do, birthday girl’s orders.” He moved his head, Porsche followed the other’s direction until he saw Krystal. He huffed, “Right.”

He put on a smile and walked towards her, “Porsche?” She said getting up from her chair and smiling up at him, she passed her hand around his bicep and fluttered her eyes. “I’m so glad you came, come sit with me.” She tried to move him and when he didn’t budge, she scowled. Porsche nervously glanced at Tankhun’s direction, the older Theerapanyakun was tapping his foot on the floor, he had a serious face on.

*Damn it*

Porsche took Krystal’s hand in his and directed her towards the DJ, “What are you doing?! You think you can just touch me and…”

“Here, the birthday girl.” The DJ looked unimpressed, Porsche held her waist, she began stuttering, “She’s totally okay with changing the music…” He leaned his chin on the top of her head, “Right?”

“Uuuhhh…”

“Just leave me out of your marital problems…” he mumbled under his breath and took a step aside so Porsche could take his place. Porsche’s smile became malicious, “Finally, I’ll show you rich people what a real party is really like.” He cut off the music, groans immediately followed until Porsche selected the new tracks, “Let’s get started!” He screamed and ran off again until he jumped to the other side of the bar counter.

“Hey what the hell!” Porsche turned around and smiled at the woman next to him. “Get out of my bar!” Porsche’s smiled enlarged, he took her hand and kissed her knuckles, “Wha–“

“Hello, I’m Porsche.”

“I don’t care wha–” Porsche put a finger on her lips, “Do you see that man over there?” He pointed, she scowled but nodded. “Well he’s a Theerapanyakun.” Her eyes widened, “If he likes what he sees today he’ll come back, maybe with more people, maybe with his friends.” Porsche totally ignored the fact that Thankhun most likely didn’t have any friends, “And you know what are they?” He leaned over until his lips were hovering against her ear, “Very, very rich.” She smiled, “I’m Yok, and it  is a pleasure doing business with you.”

He shook her hand and at last leaned over the counter and held onto Khun’s arm catching his attention, the other slapped his fingers, “This is so boring.” Porsche shook his head, “Oh, young master, just you wait.” And began preparing at the speed of light cocktail after cocktail.

“Porsche! You’re ruining my–“ Porsche trusted a fancy glass with orange liquid inside, to her, “Here you go, princess.” He turned to Tankhun, “And for my King…” he bowed, Tankhun smiled, “Here, I’m sure you will like it.” He doubtfully took the glass and smelled it, he looked at his bodyguards distrustfully, they shrugged, Kuhn rolled his eyes but began drinking, “Oh, shit.” The older Theerapanyakun licked his lips, enjoying the sweet and sour aftertaste, he took a much larger sip, “Welp!” Tankhun slammed his hands on the counter making Yok jump, “Isn’t this supposed to be a party?!” He pointed at the DJ guy, “You! Turn up the music.”  The DJ frowned, Porsche smiled and trotted over to him,  offering him another glass full of liquor, “Come on, why the large face?” 

The boy took it and drank it all in one take, “I’m not paid enough for this shit anyway,” he gave a battlecry and turned the volume up until the establishment’s windows began trembling and the music echoed throughout the bar.

“That’s what I’m talking about!”  Everyone in the bar cheered and started gathering around the counter, the bodyguards were behind at a respectful distance, carefully watching everyone who got too close to Tankhun. Pete was about to stop a girl from trying to fit her hand inside Porsche’s shirt when he felt a vibration in his pocket.

He took out his phone and sucked in a breath when he saw Kinn’s name on the screen. He desperately held his friend’s shoulder.

“Arm! Keep an eye on Porsche for me would you?” He didn’t wait for his friend to answer and ran off the bar, far away from it, until he was sure the music couldn’t be heard.

“Mr. Kinn?”

“Where the hell are you?!” Pete winced, “Mmm… with Mister Porsche, of course.”

“Oh yeah?” His tone was sarcastic, “Then pray tell why are you with my brother too?? Outside the house no less?!” Pete rubbed his nape and looked at the sky as if the answer were there.

“How did–“

“Did you forget I can actually track all the bodyguards' locations?! Seriously?” Pete dragged his hand down his face. “I–“

“Kinn!” A whiny voice could be heard on the other side. “Just let him be, Tankhun is a big boy.”  Kinn scowled and looked at Tawan, “How could you say that? You know about my brother’s aversion to the outside! Something could happen to him and I–“

“So what? I want to go watch a movie! You promised! You said–“

“He’s my brother–“

“He’s older than you! Just ignore it, it’s not so difficult!”

“Tawan!”

“How do you think I feel after you interrupted our date?!” Kinn exhaled, trying to control himself.

“Pete?” 

He straightened up,  “Yes?” 

“Just…” Kinn’s voice was a mere whisper, Pete had to strain himself to be able to hear him. “Take care of Tankhun, ok? After this make sure to take Porsche to the house, I’ll have words with him.” And he hung up.

Pete grimaced and went back right in time for Tankhun to tackle him. 

~•~

Porsche helped Arm and Pol carry Tankhun inside, he was holding his legs at the front and the other two were supporting him under his arms.

Since Pete was busy furiously typing on his phone he stayed behind.

The fourth of them were snickering under their breaths, making jokes and giggling as if they had known each other all their lives. When they reached the stairs and Porsche was about to go up, a voice behind him stopped him.

“Hey.”

The fourth of them froze, Porsche looked over his shoulder, at Kinn, who was watching him with a raised eyebrow.

“Ugh, not you again.” Pete cleared his throat and took Porsche’s place, “It’s okay, I can help from here on.” He didn’t look him in the eyes when he spoke, Porsche narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

“Porsche…” Kinn moved two of his fingers in the universal sign of “ come with me.” He didn’t wait for a response and just turned around, walking off towards his bedroom. Porsche clicked his tongue in annoyance and stomped all the way to the room, when they finally reached their destination Kinn looked at him with an indecipherable face.

“What?” He snapped. Kinn narrowed his eyes, “How did you do it?” 

He crossed his arms, “Do what?”

“How did you get him to leave the house?” 

“I just talked to him.” Kinn raised both eyebrows, “You just talked to him?” He asked, incredulous. He had been trying to coerce Kuhn out of the house for years now. How come a simple guy like Porsche could do it, but his own brother couldn’t?

“Bullshit,” He spat out.

“Whatever,” Porsche rolled his eyes and was turning around to exit the room when his wrist was caught by a big hand. “I didn’t say you could leave.” Porsche tried to draw his wrist out his grip in vain, he gritted his teeth, “I don’t remember you being my keeper, hands off asshole.” He moved his arm again but Kinn did not let go.

“What are you planning with my brother?” His tone was accusatory. “Fuck you and your paranoia, I was just having fun!”

Kinn snorted, “Fun? With Tankhun?”

Porsche exploded, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He used his body weight to free his arm, when Kinn let him go he rapidly went to the other side of the room, lest Kinn would touch him again. “Tankhun is your brother! Why are you talking about him like that? You are a fucking prat, a fucking asshole, I can’t believe how someone as great as Tankhun could be your brother.” Kinn took a menacing step closer.

“Choose your next words wisely.”

“No!” This time it was Porsche who got closer, stabbing Kinn with his index finger. “ You choose your next words wisely, he’s supposed to be your brother, why are you treating him like a doll? As if he were inferior to you?”

“I have never treated him like that,” Kinn lifted his chin. Porsche copied the motion, “Oh yeah? Pray tell then, why were you so surprised by someone actually having fun with your brother?” When Kinn didn’t answer he continued, “If you could only take your head out of Tawan’s ass and spend some time with your brother, maybe you wouldn’t be as surprised.”

Kinn smirked, “So this is about you being jealous of Tawan?” Porsche covered his face with his hands and groaned to the sky.

He was supposed to be calm, he wasn’t supposed to care about Kinn’s relationship, the faster those two got together the sooner Porsche would get his freedom, but there was something that kept him from following the same rules he had imposed upon himself. Was it because he cared about Tankhun? Was it because Kinn took for granted what Porsche could only ever dream of having? A family? Whatever it was Porsche couldn’t just keep silent, for once in his life Kinn needed to be put in his place. “God you are so fucking stupid!” He pushed Kinn, “Why are you even reproaching me? While you were too busy getting your dick wet I was actually spending time with your family! How is that so wrong?”

Kinn huffed, “I spend time with my family just fine.”

“How did you even know we went out? Was it Pol? Arm? If you were so worried, why didn’t you come?” Kinn’s face was carefully blank. “Oh god, don’t tell me it was because of Tawan,” His tone was disbelieving.

“Leave Tawan out of this.” There was an edge to his voice.

“Explain to me then, why didn’t you come?”

“I don’t need to explain anything to yo–“

Porsche sneered, “You’re a fucking hypocrite, so worried about your brother, but as soon as Tawan snaps his fingers you go running to him like a dog.” Kinn’s hand encased his neck, he wasn’t squeezing yet but his fingers were tight around his skin, a warning.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“If he really loved you, if he cared for you, he’d care for your family too.”

“I said shut up!” Porsche really needed to close his mouth, but the more he saw his face the more he wanted to scream.

“If he really wanted to be with you, he’d do so even if you had money or not, whether you bought him things or not!”

“Porsche…” 

Porsche’s hands gripped Kinn’s wrist, “Love is supposed to make you more intelligent, not stupider.” Kinn growled and threw Porsche to the floor, he hit the ground with a pained groan, his elbow catching onto the edge of the floor and leaving thin scarlet stains there.

“Get the fuck out, I don’t want to see your face.” Porsche got up with difficulty, “Gladly,” He said, slamming the door after his leave.

Kinn’s knees trembled, he sat on the floor, gripping his hair with his good arm until a few strands came out. 

Every time he closed his eyes a new memory came to view, like a movie he was unwilling to watch. Taiwan’s face and voice were the only things he could see, every time he asked for new clothes; every time he begged him to take him out to a new expensive restaurant; all the things he had asked him to purchase: high brand bags, foreign perfumes, leather shoes, limited watches…

A sound caught his attention, he looked at his cellphone, there on the screen, a new message could be seen.

Kinn, I just saw the prettiest collection ever, I’ll send you the–

Kinn stopped reading, and for the first time in their relationship, he didn’t answer back .

Chapter Text

Duty.

For years, Kinn’s life had always revolved around duty.

Kinn didn’t want to blame Tankhun, his brother had just been a victim of other people’s sick machinations, But it also would be a lie if he denied there were some days in which he wished his brother had been stronger; in which his brother hadn’t broken under the pressure after all those kidnappings; in which Tankhun was an actual big brother instead of a maniac; in which he had actually helped him while growing up instead of being locked in a golden cage.

Kinn wished, longed and regretted.

There were some days, far in between, in which he woke up inside his luxurious room, surrounded by men thirsty for his approval, by his staff and bodyguards who obeyed his every beck and call and by his lovely lover eager to please him, and he still felt nothing.

Sometimes there was an emptiness, a void that filled his insides and at the same time made him feel hollow, he still didn’t know what to call it, he knew madness, sadness, he was well acquainted with rage and lust, but this feeling? That hole he felt inside him from time to time, that voidness that took over him: every time he sealed a deal with some other mafia group; every time he looked at the minor family, and their eyes were drowned by envy and resentment, despite Kinn not being at fault, despite Kinn’s only sin being the sin of existing.

He remembered his childhood, when everything started and Tankhun was still capable of getting out of his shell from time to time, before his mental problems became worse and he started recoiling into himself, those memories of faith when Kinn still had hope in getting his older brother back.

He’d go and sit next to him, they’d watch television together, some dramas or movies, they’d get cozy with each other and share a few laughs. Kinn remembered looking up at Tankhun, searching for his darling brother but only receiving a blank gaze as a response.

After that, he couldn't look into his eyes anymore. As time passed, he stopped being the Tankhun he used to know, as days and months went on, and as Kinn began training to be the next heir, his brother stopped talking to him altogether. Kinn knew it was not entirely his brother’s fault, Tankhun had gone through something horrible, nobody knew exactly what had happened to him during those kidnappings, he didn’t say, and Kinn stopped asking after uncomfortable moments of silence and that lost look as a response.

But Kinn was just a kid, he used to have dreams too, and those dreams didn’t have anything to do with being the head of the family.

Suddenly, as his father didn’t seem Tankhun fit for the burden and chose Kinn for the throne, Kinn saw himself in a dark, monotone world, out of nowhere his toys were replaced by guns, his friends by allies, and his dreams by plans, goals and strategies.

Kinn loved his brother… but if it weren’t for him, he would have never been in such a position.

“I just talked to him.”

Porsche had said.

*He just talked to him?* Kinn thought, incredulously.

*He just talked to him?* Kinn repeated to himself through the night.

Should he have put more effort into talking with Tankhun? Was it his fault that his brother never left the house until now? If he had had a conversation with him, would he have gotten his brother back?

Had he been a bad brother all this time, and that was why his relationship with Tankhun never mended?

Was everything his fault?

He had never been enough, not to his father, not to his brother… and now…

Kinn read the message time and time again, the profile picture was lovely, he was so handsome and cute, he was the man he loved.

But as he scrolled up  and as he read and processed everything, he realized he hadn’t been enough for Tawan either.

*Am I really that unlovable?*

Theerapanyakun men didn’t cry, so Kinn stopped his tears from overflowing, and passed a rough finger over his eyes, making sure not a drop rolled down his face.

Kinn wasn’t stupid, years of training in the mafia gave him a sharpness and understanding of the world that not everyone had, But he had wanted to believe, wanted to feel loved and understood, he wanted to feel the support no one ever gave him, wanted someone at his side whom he could trust.

Kinn, go buy me that new drink Starbucks just drop—

He stopped reading and went for the next text.

Kinn!! All my friends are wearing those Prada sunglasses, you wouldn’t let me feel let out, would you?

His fingers were trembling as he continued scrolling up.

Kinn, when you pick me up today, bring the Camaro, I want that ugly bitch from school to—

His respiration became agitated, his vision was blurry.

Kinn, my birthday is coming, here’s a list of wha—

He felt his world crumbling down, his eyes could only focus on the words on the screen, his hearing stopped working, a high pitched sound was the only thing he could hear.

Kinn, I want—

He couldn’t think anymore, he couldn’t move his body, he wanted to throw the phone, to destroy it, to shoot at it until he could erase those texts from his mind.

Hey, I need you to—

Need, want, buy, never ever once, he read love.

Just buy me the—

Finally, his dry eyes closed, he wasn’t reading the chat anymore, but Tawan's voice kept repeating the same sentence over and over again, until it became an echo that overpowered his own thoughts.

“If he really loved you, if he cared for you, he’d care for your family too.”

All those times Tawan convinced him to spend waste time with him instead of his family.

“Love is supposed to make you more intelligent, not stupider.”

All those moments when he got into an argument with his father because of Tawan, when he ignored his brothers in favor of his lover, when he convinced himself Tawan loved him for him and not his wallet.

“Fuck!” He screamed, the door of his room immediately slammed open and two bodyguards walked in with guns in their hands. “Mr.Kinn! Are you okay?!”

Kinn didn’t answer, he had his hands on his ears.

“Mr. Kinn??! Are you hurt?” Kinn absentmindedly got up from the bed and walked out of his room.

“Mister Kinn?” His eyes were blank, he kept walking. “Mr. Kinn!” One of the bodyguards tried to catch his attention, neither of them wanted to touch him, the young master seemed unharmed, it didn’t look like he was attacked but more like he was in a trance. “Mr. Kinn? You’re barefoot, you could catch a cold, let’s go back okay?”

Their young boss kept walking, he wasn’t stumbling nor fumbling, he actually looked like he knew where he was going.

After some minutes following him around, Kinn stopped, and so did the guards. 

“Young m–“ Kinn rapidly opened the door and closed it behind him. He let himself inside and followed the noises, when he found who he was looking for, he threw himself at his side, his strong arms clinging to the bony shoulders.

“What the– Kinn?!!” Tankhun’s high voice was a welcome change.

“Sir Kinn!” The two bodyguards inside straightened up, “Did something happen?! Are we being attacked?!”  Kinn’s lips tightened in a hard line.

“Kinn?” Tankhun gently moved Kinn’s bangs from his visage, his little brother didn’t face him, but Tankhun could interpret his silence very well, “Oh, Kinn…” the older Theerapanyakun looked at his bodyguards, “Get out, and don’t come in until I say so.”

His guards didn’t hesitate to comply. 

Tankhun’s slim hand petted his brother's hair as he turned off the television and moved him to the bed.

“Brother…” Kinn’s voice was a mere whisper. “Shh little brother,” He answered, “No need to talk, whoever put you in this state will be bitch slapped.” Tankhun caged Kinn’s face against his chest, “Let older brother take care of it, mmm?”

And for the first time that night, Kinn didn’t feel the void.

~•~

As it turns out, OG Porsche was a nerd… and current Porsche was not.

He had already had two full days of classes and he still didn’t understand a single word. He looked at his side, at Jom, his friend was taking notes, same for everyone around…Of course everyone but him.

“Hey, what the hell is this class?” Jom looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “Microeconomics? How come you don’t know? Didn’t I give you a copy of our schedule?”

“That you did…” Porsche mumbled.

He eyed the whiteboard again, the teacher was writing some nonsense about offer and demand.

*I need to get out of here.*  

He got up from his seat and walked out of the classroom, he trotted around the campus feeling frustrated. How was he supposed to keep up the facade, when he didn’t even know anything about accounting? He had never been intelligent. Porsche was a man of action, he loved hard work, he adored the satisfaction he felt every time his muscles strained and his hands got dirty, that was life for him. He didn’t want to study accounting, he was shit at mathematics and didn’t know a thing about economics, besides, didn’t OG Porsche choose that career plan to help out Kinn with his businesses?? He didn’t want anything to do with Kinn! They hated each other, the more they interacted the more arguments they had, it was practically impossible for them to keep the engagement facade up, it was only a matter of time, he could feel it, Kinn was about to break off the marriage offer, and Porsche could finally get to live the life he had always wanted.

“Careful!” A voice snapped him out of his thoughts, he only had time to raise his arms in vain when suddenly a viscosity ran down his face and torso, slipping down towards his jeans.  “What the shit is this?” He closed his eyes, Porsche tried to clean his face but his wrist was immediately stopped.

“Don’t touch your face! You’ll make it worse!” Porsche tried it again with his free arm, only for said arm to be encased by a long hand.

“I just said don’t touch it,” His tone was reproachful, Porsche clicked his tongue, annoyed, and shook the arms off him. “The hell is this??” His eyes were still closed, he could feel the strange liquid sticking to his eyelids.

“Motor oil, you need to clean it off with laundry detergent, I’ll guide you to where we have it.” He could feel the boy positioning himself behind him, putting his hands on his shoulders, and gently pushing him around until they stopped inside a room.

“Okay, I’ll help you with your face, alright?” Porsche hummed. 

The hands that were cleaning his skin felt strong, big and rough, they had multiple calluses, their texture was dry but the sensation was soothing, it almost felt like a massage. He felt the detergent and the cold water slowly erase the oil, none of that really annoyed him thanks to the dexterous hands.

“You can open your eyes now.” The first thing he saw was a handsome face in front of him, only a couple of inches away from his own, he looked young, maybe the same age as Porsche, with full pink lips, straight nose and sharp eyes, he was smiling at him, although a bit strangely, his cold gaze didn’t convey the same feeling as his warm smile give off.

“Thanks,” He said after a minute. He was about to turn around and go back to his classroom when the other spoke, “Your shirt and arms are dirty too, are you really going back like that?”

Porsche lifted his chin, “And what if I was?” He smiled and laughed, “I was just going to offer you my shirt, I have one to spare, do yo–“

“I don’t need it,” Porsche crossed his arms and scowled. He didn’t give a shit about his appearance, he didn’t care if he used high brand clothes or luxurious items like his classmates did, “I don’t care if people don’t like how I look.”

The boy took a step closer, and gave him a once over, “They don’t, but I certainly do.”

*Wait what?*

“I’m not offering you my shirt because of your appearance, if you leave it like that, the oil will stick to your skin and could give you a rash or even an allergic reaction…also, oil tends to be very messy, if you want to go to class like that, that’s your problem, but it’ll surely stain your books, notebooks and pens.”

Porsche studied him silently, he then looked down at himself, his shirt and uniform had been completely ruined, at least his jeans were salvageable, but sure enough if Porsche went back to class like this it’d be a disaster .

He sighed, “Fine, give me the damn shirt, please.”  The boy’s smile stretched, “Give me a minute.”  He walked away, turning around a corner, promptly the sound of a zipper being opened and something being rummaged could be heard.

Porsche finally looked around, he was inside a clean room, next to the main door, there were multiple sinks followed by a big and clean mirror, near the mirror, just around the corner where the boy had turned, there were showers and dressing rooms.

“Where are we?” 

“You have never been here? Strange, business management is near the automotive engineering.”

“How is that strange? What does that have anything to do with me?” The boy came back with a shirt in his hands, he handed it over to him, then put his hands in his pockets nonchalantly. “Oh you know…” Porsche took his shirt off, “No, I don’t,” He eyed the logo on the other’s uniform, “Oh, so you are from business management?”

He petted the logo, “That’s right.” 

He frowned, “You said this was automotive engineering, right? What are you doing here?” The other crossed his arms and let his head fall on the tiles with a low thud, “Just a hobby, I have always liked cars, trucks, motorcycles…”

Porsche perked up, “Motorcycles?” He finished changing, the new shirt was a dark green, there was a logo on his left breast depicting two gears surrounded by bold white letters that read “Automotive Engineering”.

“Do you like motorcycles?” Porsche playfully clapped him on the shoulder, “I love motorcycles! Who doesn’t?” 

“Really? Why don’t you join us? It’s always good to have extra hands around here.”

Porsche was practically vibrating, “Really?! Count me in!” He stuck his hand out, “I’m Porsche.”

Like the cat that ate the canary, his smile sharpened, “I’m Vegas.” And just like that, Porsche felt as if the rug was pulled from under his feet.

*This is Kinn’s fucking psycho cousin*

Vegas Kornwitt Theerapanyakun, son of Gun, Kinn’s father’s brother and the heir of the “minor family”. In the book, Kinn always described Vegas as a psycho maniac, a wolf in sheep’s clothing, a sadist who enjoyed people’s suffering. 

Vegas was smart, he knew how to portray himself, how to act when he met new people and he did everything in his power to get what he wanted, and for unfathomable reason, what he wanted was Tawan.  In the book, Tawan met Vegas for the first time at a university party, at the time Kinn was busy with business so he couldn’t go with him, it wasn’t until his personal bodyguards’ intel told him Vegas and Porsche were at the party, that Kinn left everything behind and went to Tawan’s rescue, unfortunately when he got there, Tawan was in bed with Vegas, visibly feverish and horny, he was found moaning at every touch and lick Vegas gave him.

Kinn saw red. It was only because of Tawan’s begging that Vegas could go back with his dick intact. After trying to calm Kinn down with touches and reassurances, Tawan began explaining what really happened that night; Porsche had spiked his drink, Vegas had accidentally walked in on Tawan pleasuring himself, and Tawan had basically jumped him and forced him to touch him. It hadn’t been his fault, clearly, he wasn’t trying to cheat, he wasn’t even thinking straight, at the time he could only think of trying to take the edge off,  surely Kinn would understand? Surely Kinn could be reasonable enough to let this matter with his cousin go and focus on the real culprit: Porsche.

After that night, Kinn wasn’t the same, Porsche remembered reading this part and wanting to enter the book so he could knock some sense into Kinn. It was clear something else had happened that night between Tawan and Vegas, it was obvious after the multiple excuses Tawan made for Kinn’s cousin so Vegas was left unscathed after every confrontation, was Vegas using Tawan? Was Tawan using Kinn? Did Kinn really not know? 

Whatever the answer was, it didn’t matter. Tawan had some insane control over Kinn, he ended up convincing him that the real enemy was Porsche, and Kinn, as the stupid, smitten motherfucker that he was, believed him.  It was true that OG Porsche wasn’t a Mary Sue, he wasn’t a saint, not even close, but Porsche wouldn’t exactly describe him as the text book villain. OG Porsche just wanted Kinn’s love, and he thought he could have it by making Tawan’s life difficult through very petty plans and schemes. It was honestly pathetic, even Porsche cringed a little thinking about it.

Now, with Vegas being right in front of him, Porsche didn’t know what to do. If he said no, he knew Vegas could be resourceful. He'd find a way to make him accept, there was also the possibility of insulting him by rejecting his offer. Vegas didn’t forget, he was resentful, when he had a bone to pick with someone he didn’t stop at the bite, he went full sicko mode until nothing was left.

Porsche swallowed heavily.

“You know what? Now that I think about it, I just remembered I am incredibly busy,” He laughed nervously and took a couple of steps back, towards the door.

Vegas raised an eyebrow, he was still smiling, “Oh really?” His tone was cheerful, almost mocking, he stepped forward, “You don’t seem so busy, what with you walking around the campus instead of being in class.”

Porsche internally swore, he knew being a bad student was going to bite him in the ass one day.

“Now that you say it, I really need to go to class.” At that, Vegas jumped forward, Porsche instantly opened the door still facing Vegas, and leaned backwards, almost falling to the floor.

“What the–” almost being the key word here, when Porsche didn’t feel anything that could stop his fall, he grabbed the first thing he could, that thing being someone’s neck, and that someone being Kinn. “Porsche?!” Kinn had instinctively grabbed his waist pulling him towards him, their faces almost colliding with each other but stopping only a few inches short.

Kinn’s big hand was around Porsche, his large fingers clenching at his shirt, pinching his skin.

*Has Porsche’s waist always been this tiny?”  He groped around, until he felt the sharp bones of his hips, Porsche gasped, Kinn’s eyes went to his lips.

*Have Porsche’s lips always been this full and pink?* His phoenix eyes connected with Porsche’s larger ones, *He actually has beautiful eyes.*

A cough made the two of them separate. Kinn cleared his throat and eyed disdainfully at his cousin, he then looked at Porsche, his gaze stopped at his shirt, specifically, at the logo.

“Why the hell are you wearing the automotive engineering uniform?” Porsche scowled, “Uh?” Kinn clicked his tongue and crossed his arms, “Aren't you from accounting? Are you slacking off again? Typical of you.” Porsche curled his hands in a fist and faced Kinn with rage, the other man was smiling down at him, “What did you just say, you fuck–”

“Oh, please, don’t blame Porsche,” Vegas, who was leaning on the doorframe, walked towards Porsche without taking his eyes off Kinn, he passed an arm around him, “Porsche here had an accident because of me,” The arm that was around his shoulders slowly slid down until he was practically holding him by the hips, “The shirt he’s wearing is actually mine.”

The smile that Kinn was sporting earlier had disappeared as Vegas’ words left his mouth. His eyes moved from the shirt to the hand possessively gripping his fiancé annoying acquaintance.

“Oh, really?” He crossed his arms, “And what accident was that, hmm?” He tapped on the ground with the tip of his foot, “Considering how Porsche is, I wouldn’t be surprised by his foolery.”  Said person pinched the hand holding him, startled, Vegas let him go, “ Look, I don’t know what’s happening–”

“No surprises here.” Porsche sent a venomous look to Kinn, “But leave me out of it, okay? Okay, I’m going.”

He turned around. “Who said you could go?!” Kinn went after him. “Porsche! Don’t worry about the shirt! You can return it next time you come help us!” Kinn looked over his shoulder at his cousin, he was about to scream shut up Vegas, when he asked himself…

*Why would I care if Porsche talked to Vegas?*  Maybe it was because of the competitiveness Vegas and Kinn had always seemed to have? Maybe because if Porsche was seen around Vegas, people would talk and therefore ruin Kinn’s reputation?

“Porsche! You do know that’s my cousin, right?” Porsche rolled his eyes, he continued walking. “Don’t go near him, ok?” Kinn quickened his pace until he was next to Porsche, “You don’t know him like I do, so don’t go near him, don’t speak to him–” He was looking at Porsche as he was speaking, but the other didn’t even acknowledge his presence, “ Do not let him touch you and– are you listening to me?” Porsche took his phone from his pocket and began typing, “Who are you talking to? Is it Vegas?!”

Porsche didn’t answer, he walked to the school’s entrance.

“Where are you going? Are your classes done?? Where is your backpack?? Porsche! Yo–”

“The other day, after choking me and throwing me around, you told me you didn’t want to see my face.” Kinn snapped his mouth shut, the two of them stopped once they reached the gate. “What I don’t understand is why you can’t leave me alone, I mean, it is clear you hate me.”

Kinn shook his head, “I don’t ha–”

“And I dislike you, very much so.” Kinn swallowed his words, a familiar thought intruded his mind.

*Am I really that unlovable?*

“But you don’t hate me?” His voice cracked at the end, both acted like they didn’t notice. Porsche bit his lip, he still hadn’t looked at Kinn, he didn’t want to see his face, because even in the good days his posture, his voice, even the way he smiled fed up Porsche.  He didn’t like being mad at people, he had never been good at holding grudges, but Kinn ignited something within him, something new that incited him to beat Kinn up, scream at him, console him and hug him. 

Kinn didn’t deserve it, he didn’t deserve his compassion after how he had treated him, but Porsche couldn’t help but feel a connection to him. After all, reading the novel was like reading his personal diary, he knew every insecurity, fear, mistake, desire. He knew Kinn, and after coming to this new world the only constant in this new life had been him, he was familiar, it didn’t matter if Kinn didn’t feel the same, Porsche considered him a friend.

“Porsche?” Kinn’s uncertain tone brought him back to earth. He looked at him. Kinn sucked in a breath, in the sunset’s light Porsche’s skin was glowing, his already pink full lips beautifully contrasted against his golden skin, his long dark hair moved to the beat of the wind, creating a halo, making him look ethereal, lastly, those profound dark eyes of his, descended upon him, unperturbed, unafraid, it was a rare sight for Kinn, whose whole existence was the reason of many men’s nightmares.

“It depends,” he mischievously smiled. Kinn cleared his throat and averted his gaze, “On what?” A dark car stopped in front of them, making Kinn jump, he calmed down once he noticed the driver was Pete, he internally scolded himself for being so careless of his surroundings. “On those monstrosities you call eyebrows,” Porsche threw himself inside and screamed at Pete to leave.

Kinn’s eye twitched, he looked at the rapidly disappearing car and yelled, “You asshole!”

~•~

After everything that happened today, Porsche wanted to clear his mind, he didn’t want to go to his “parents” house, their presence made him feel asphyxiated. Instead, he asked Pete to drive to the mall he had visited last time, after a few wrong turns and strange explanations from google, they finally got there.

Porsche entered absentmindedly, Pete hot on his heels. Unlike his master, he was scanning every angle, every corner, every window, he continued walking behind Porsche close enough to protect him if the need arose but far enough to let him breathe.

“Sir? Did we come here to shop?” Pete frowned while looking around, they were in a low class mall, he knew Mister Kinn used to frequent these kind of places to maintain a low profile while he was with Tawan. After all, nobody would expect a mafia boss to be in this kind of neighborhood. At least Kinn would have preferred so, if it weren’t because Tawan loudly complaining about his reputation while trying to convince Kinn to take him somewhere else up to his expectations.

“Stop calling me sir,” Porsche ordered, still walking around without an apparent destination on his mind. “Sir?” Pete questioned with incredulity.

He sighed, “What did I just say?” Pete balled his hands, still confused, “Understood, master.” Porsche sent him a long-suffering look, “No, stop that, stop with the sir, master or mister bullshit, just call me Porsche.”  Pete aggressively shook his head, “I can’t do that! It’s disrespectful!” Porsche groaned, “Aren’t we the same age? How is that disrespectful?”

“I can’t, I’m your bodyguard–“ 

“So, do you want me to fire you?” Pete spluttered, Porsche gave him a Cheshire smile, “Just give up, Pete, call me Porsche, it’s the least you can do…” 

*The least I can do?* Pete thought, still following him from behind. 

Porsche bit his lip at Pete’s baffled face, of course he wasn’t going to tell him he knew about his insubordination with Kinn, Porsche once heard the saying: keep your friends close and your enemies closer. And although he hardly considered Kinn his enemy, Pete was a good bridge that mended Porsche and Kinn’s dubious relationship If Porsche suddenly decided to call him out on his spying, he couldn’t know the changes that could have in the novel’s plot, Pete was also loyal and noble, it’d be a lie if Porsche said he didn’t want him as his friend, he felt lonely, sue him.

“Mm… excuse me?” A slim hand almost touched Porsche, Pete stretched out his arm, about to stop him  when he shook his head, “Leave it Pete, he’s just a kid.”

The boy puffed up his cheeks, “I’m not a kid! I work and everything!” Porsche frowned, this kid had to strain his neck to be able to look at Porsche, and he was working??

“You work? Why in the hell? Where are your parents? I’ll have words with them!” The boy smiled, “You’re like a superhero, since I saw you in the converse store, I knew you were a good person.” Porsche raised his eyebrows, “The converse store? Wha–” Porsche stopped talking, his eyes widened, he pointed accusingly at the teenager, “You’re that kid from before? The worker who helped me with the shoes that day when that idiot was shot??”

 He smiled, showing off his cute dimples, “That I am.” 

“Oh!” Porsche clapped the skinny kid on the shoulder, “Let’s go put some food in you, what do you want to eat? My treat.” 

“Oh, no,” He shook his head and waved his arms in denial, “I just wanted to talk with you, I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness.” Porsche snorted and took the boy by his shoulders, basically dragging him around the mall until they got to the food zone.

“You? Taking advantage of me? Right,” He turned to his bodyguard, “Pete, are you hungry?” 

“I’m on duty, I can’t eat while wor–“

“You’re basically working 24/7, come on, eat something.” Pete tried to refuse, “I, sir–“

“I would leave you off the hook this time if you call me Porsche.”  He shook the kid in his arms, trying to convince him to decide what he wanted to eat.

Pete smiled and shyly looked at the floor while saying in a very low voice, so only his handler could hear, “Okay… Porsche.”

The other smiled and played with the boy’s hair, “Come on, decide already, if you don’t, I’ll do it for you.”

“I- I-…” He nervously played with his fingers, “Sir–“

“You can call me Hia.” Pete choked on his saliva, Porsche slapped him, “And this guy here, you can call him Pi.” Pete started to turn red.

The little boy smiled, a charming blush spread over his nose and cheeks.

“I want to eat cheeseburgers,” He said timidly. Porsche smiled and ruffled his hair again, this kid was so damn cute, he wanted to bite his cheeks.

“Let’s go then.” The both of them walked towards the hamburger stall, Pete following them at a close distance. 

“So…” Porsche ordered and paid, “Do I really have to kick your parents’ asses?” Once they got their food they sat down in the less crowded area. “Oh no, Hia, it’s okay.”

The older boy frowned, “That’s not an answer.” Pete was standing near them, giving them his back. “Hia, my parents are not with me anymore.” Porsche froze, Pete stood still but after a few seconds he continued looking around, acting as if he weren’t eavesdropping.

“My uncle was with me for a while but, well…” He rubbed his neck. “But he’s more of a burden than helpful?” 

He bit his lip, “I wouldn’t call him like that…”

“I’m sorry if I crossed a line, I know he’s your uncle.”

He shook his head, “Oh no, don’t worry, I know you mean well.” He smiled.

Porsche couldn’t help but say, “Awwww…” He petted his hair, “You’re so freakin cute.”

“Hia, stoooop,” He whined, “Isn’t your friend going to eat?” Porsche allowed him the change of topic and glanced at Pete.

“Pete?  He’s a stuck up and doesn’t want to eat.” The bodyguard huffed but didn’t acknowledge him further.

“Oh, P’Pete, it is not good for your stomach to go long periods of time without eating.” Porsche laughed, ignoring how his friend’s ears turned scarlet, “Ah, I haven’t properly introduced myself,” He offered his hand, “I’m Porsche.”

He shook his hand, “Really? How strange, we are almost the same.” Porsche frowned, “What do you mean?” 

“Well, my name is Porchay.” He raised his eyebrows with a dumbfounded expresión, even Pete who was badly acting as if he weren’t hearing anything turned around to look at Porchay. “Your name is Porchay? What… what is your last name?”

“Kittisawat, I’m Porchay Pichaya Kittisawat.” They had different last names, but Porsche couldn’t ignore it, if there was something he learned while reading a BL novel was that such things as coincidences didn’t exist, even less coincidences as obvious as this one.

Porsche narrowed his eyes and leaned over the table, “Tell me, do you have any brothers?” Pete snapped his head at Porsche’s insinuation.

“I-” Porchay leaned backwards, “No? I don’t think so.” Porsche was practically crawling over the table towards the teenager, “You don’t sound so sure.” 

“Hia, I don’t know wha–” Porchay’s eyes focused at a high point behind the older male, “Who–” Porsche felt himself being flung backwards, a hand strongly gripping his shirt’s collar, moving him away from the teenager.

Porsche knew this touch, he rolled his eyes and elbowed Kinn in the ribs.

“What are you doing here? Go away.” Kinn looked at Porchay and then at Porsche.

“Who is this brat?” Porsche crossed his arms, “You haven’t answered my question.” Kinn’s lips disappeared into a thin line, “You weren’t at the house.” Porsche frowned, “Why would I be at your house?”  A mix between offense and disbelief took over Kinn’s features, he signaled his still hurt arm.

“Are you really this forgetful? You’re supposed to be with me until my arm heals!” Porsche clicked his tongue and looked at the other side, ignoring Kinn’s words, “I don’t want to,” He stubbornly said.

“I have your things, cease this tantrum and come.” 

“I could just ask Pete to get them.” Pete shook his head aggressively, “Please, don’t,” He begged.

“If you don’t come, I’m going to drag you back over my shoulder.” Porsche stepped backwards, distancing himself from Kinn, “I’d love to see you try.” Kinn menacingly approached Porsche. “Don’t be childish.” Porsche snorted, “Me? Childish?? You’re the one threatening me with manslaughter.”

“I will count to three, Porsche, and when I get to three I want you to–”

“Fuck you, worm-eyebrows,” He ran off. “Porsche!” Kinn’s insults could be heard over the crowd as he followed him, whoever saw Kinn, would think he was about to commit a murder, but if you looked closely, you could see him smiling as he tackled the other boy and carried him.

“Are they a couple?” Porchay asked. “To be honest?” Pete answered without taking his eyes off the duo, “I have no fucking idea,” He eyed Porchay up and down and then glanced at Porsche, his mind full of questions. 

Chapter Text

It had been a difficult week, as the clock ticked Porsche seriously asked himself if continuing the career was something he should do.

He sighed and didn’t take his eyes off the clock that was just above the whiteboard. The time told him the class still had two hours left.

Porsche eyed the professor, he glanced at his friend Tem, who was next to him scribing something, he looked around, the only sounds one could hear in the classroom were those of the teacher talking and the students writing.

*Boring.* He thought, letting himself fall over his desk, one of his arms was loosely hanging at the side of his body while using the other as a pillow, the side of his face squishing the bicep he was resting on.

Absentmindedly, he looked at the window, ignoring Krystal's flustered face at being caught staring, he focused on the group of people walking and giggling outside, he recognized those uniforms, they were from automotive engineering.

He perked up and got up from his seat, attracting his classmates’ attention, he bowed in apology and took his backpack.

“Porsche?” Tem held his arm. “Where the hell are you going?? Finals are just around the corner, you can’t leave.”

“It’s okay, I will think of something.” He ignored his friend’s baffled face and hurriedly got out of the classroom, walking directly to the group of boys he had previously seen.

“Hello!” He greeted them enthusiastically. “Are you going to the automotive wing? Can I go with you guys?” They looked at each other.

“Sure,” One of them said, they began walking, “Hey aren’t you the guy who was with Vegas the other day?”

Porsche felt goosebumps all over his body after hearing the name, “Yes.”

“And isn’t your name Porsche? Porsche Chai Son?” He squinted his eyes at him, “What is this? An interview?”

“Oh man, you’re Kinn’s fiancé,” The group of friends snickered among them, “Don’t tell us Vegas is after you, too?”

Porsche crossed his arms and frowned, “I don’t like what you’re implying here.” The closest boy to him playfully hit him, “Just pulling your leg man, don’t take it too seriously.”

“No,” He said, his voice firm, leaving no room for defiance, “Explain it, I know there are rumors about me, I want to know what people are saying.”

They looked at each other, all of them equally doubtful, “Are you sure you want to hear them, little prince?” They reached the changing room, it was the same in which Porsche had changed the other day.

Porsche jutted his chin out, “My name is Porsche, and yes, I want to hear them.”

They looked at each other, “Fight, you tell him.” The guy with the beanie frowned, “Why me? I’m not even half the gossiper you are, you tell him.” The other boy huffed, “Whatever,” He turned to Porsche.

“Rumor has it you’re with Kinn cuz your family is basically broke.” Porsche crossed his arms. The guy who was talking began changing so someone else took his place, it was a muscled guy with bleached hair, “There had also been a saying about you getting it on with Vegas.”

Porsche frowned, “What the hell? I hadn’t even met him until yesterday.” The other shrugged, “You were the one who wanted to know.”

“It is also said…” A tall guy who had finished changing began talking, “That in case of you not marrying Kinn, you already have your eyes set on Vegas.”

Porsche clicked his tongue. “I also heard you’ve been bullying Tawan for Kinn’s attention.”

*Who would want the attention of that bastard?!* Porsche angrily thought. 

“Also, I don’t know how true this one is…” the muscled guy said, “But I heard Kinn has herpes.”

Porsche choked and began laughing his ass off, Pool and Jom had done a great job spreading that rumor for him, uh.

“Well…” He said in a low voice, his tone was malicious the same as his face, “Between you and I, I can confirm that rumor is true.”

“What!” Bleached guy said.

“No way!” The tall one screamed.

“Oh yeah,” Porsche covered his face, fake sobbing, “Such a pity, I wanted to break off the engagement but he wouldn’t let me.”

The beanie guy scowled, “Isn’t he cheating on you with Tawan, tho?”

“Fight!”

“Dude!”

“Not cool, bro.” 

He looked at them with spread arms as if defending his point, “What! I know you guys were thinking it too!” 

Porsche shook his head, he moved his hand in the air nonchalantly, “Don’t worry, it’s true anyway,” he moved his arms behind his head in a carefree manner, ”I rejected him, he couldn’t accept it, so he went to the first easy guy he could find.”

By this time all of them had finished changing and were around Porsche, “Doesn’t that mean Tawan has herpes too?”

Porsche shrugged, “Most likely.”

“Dude!” The guys slapped each other while laughing. “You know,” the boy called Fight began, “I thought you were a stick in the mud, glad you’re actually a nice guy.”

All of them nodded, “Why did you want to come with us anyway? This is not your major.”

“Oh yeah,” Porsche turned and rummaged through his backpack, “Here,” he had a shirt in his hands,the uniform of Automotive engineering, “Could you return this to Vegas for me?”

“Why don’t you return it yourself? I thought you got along with him.” Porsche tried to keep his expression at bay, he didn’t want to make it obvious he didn’t like to be near him. Vegas had a special talent that charmed all those around him, making him likable, it also didn’t hurt that he was actually handsome and smart. Thankfully Porsche wasn’t most people, Porsche was a transmigrator, and although the novel he read was biased since it was written from Kinn’s point of view,  there were a lot of loopholes that Porsche could detect throughout the novel. Like the suspicious bond Tawan developed with Vegas, Kinn had attributed this to Tawan’s big soft heart, such a good white moonlight who pardoned Vegas, who had tried to assault him in the party, begging for Kinn’s mercy and convincing him Vegas was actually a good guy and, “Oh Kinn, your family is already teared apart, wouldn’t it be better to fix your differences and get along with Vegas, please? Do it for me hmm?? ”  

Porsche called it bullshit. He put the shirt back in his bag, he didn’t want the guys questioning him again.

He couldn’t prove it yet, but he didn’t doubt that in the original story Tawan was actually fucking Vegas while still going out with Kinn. He was incredulous, Vegas had always liked to wind Kinn up, he had always hinted there was something more between Tawan and him, but Kinn never believed him, he trusted Tawan, he was the man he loved and Vegas the man he disliked, why would he believe Vegas over Tawan?

Porsche pitied him, in his first life he had never had someone he cherished, someone he could trust and cry on, but if he did, he wouldn’t have known what to feel if that person betrayed him.

“Why don’t you stay? You know, work with us, you’re free aren’t you?” Porsche bit his lip. “Come on, Vegas actually told us you like motorcycles.” He followed from behind,“Well…” he caressed the seat logingly, “Taking a look won’t hurt, will it?”

Contrary to their rough appearance, they were actually pretty nice. Fight was blunt but honest; Key was a tall, skinny guy with sass and humor; Dream, despite his rough appearance with that rock style and bleached hair, and all those piercings, was serious and calm; and Gong who was irreverent but friendly.

*This was nice.* Porsche decided.

He spent the last two hours of class fooling around, carrying heavy equipment, asking about the procedures and what exactly they were doing, talking about himself and inquiring about them and their interests.

“Give me the rear stand.” Porsche looked around until he spotted it, “Here,” He crouched beside him, watching intensely the procedure, “Are you replacing the chain and sprockets?” Key looked at him fairly impressed, his thin eyebrows going up his forehead, “You actually know what we’re doing, I’m impressed.”

He scoffed, half insulted, crossing his arms, “Of course I know, I used to do this to my motorcycle all the time.”

All of them regarded him in disbelief, “You?” Dream had an eyebrow raised, “Come on…” Gong stood up and approached him, taking his two hands in one of his and rubbing them together while mocking him, “Such dainty hands! How are you even able to hold the tools?”

Porsche frowned and drew his palms back, holding them against his chest, “What are you implying?” he tutted. Key snorted and pinched his cheeks, “Nong, there is no shame in admitting the truth.” Porsche turned his head. “Such a young master, of course you haven’t done any heavy work.”

He balled his hands,”I literally just helped you carry all this stuff around.”

“Of course,” Dream added with a neutral expression, he patted his head, “We are not undermining you, you’re a good nong.” Porsche’s lips disappeared in a thin line.

“Okay, no,” He snatched away the breaker bar Gong was holding, and practically bullied Dream to hold the motorcycle on the other side while he began to lose the front sprocket. “Porsche!” Gong shouted in alarm, “What are you doing??”

Without even glancing at him, he answered, “Repairing the fucking motorcycle,” His voice was clear and unflappable.

Key shook his head, trying to coax his nong away from the vehicle, “Nong, it’s okay, you don’t have to prove anything to us.”

Porsche didn’t dignify that with an answer, he was mad, it was obvious he was angry, these bunch of kids were treating him as if he was brainless: underestimating him and pitying him like he was an idiot; calling him young master; judging him by his looks and not even giving him an opportunity. If there was a young master in this fucking place it was them! Porsche had practically grown up eating dirt, working his ass off and making ends meet with almost zero baths to spend on himself.

And these motherfuckers thought they could call him dainty and fragile? Judging by the school all of them were in, they were rich assholes too! Porsche was sure none of them had gone a day without water or food, without worrying if they were going to make it to the end of the month or even ignoring their pains and cuts so they didn’t spend money on doctors.

Porsche began removing the old chain, muttering under his breath as his hands stained with grease and filth, by this time, all of the boys were quietly watching him without saying anything, analyzing him with a critical eye.

It also didn’t help that all of them, inexperienced youngsters, looked down at him as if he were a mere baby, Porsche was their Pi! Curse this 19 year old body for subjecting him through this horrible age, why couldn't the original Porsche have been older? At least that way he would be able to kick their asses, although not really…

Porsche swore. He had been going non-stop to the gym, but a few days working out wouldn’t give him the same strength he had earned over the years, he could currently feel it, his soft hands hurting and straining against the rough metal.

After he finished installing the new chain, he got up and wiped the perspiration running down his face, he looked at his “Pi”, daring them to say something.

Gong whistled, looking at the impeccable job, “What the hell, you're actually good.” Porsche grinned, spinning the breaker bar between his fingers. The boys gathered around him, clapping him on the shoulder and congratulating him for a job well done until their little ball of joy was disrupted by a pair of thick eyebrows and broad shoulders.

Kinn grabbed the bar Porsche was playing with and took it away while clicking his tongue, “Where have you been? I thought something happened to you.” Porsche frowned, he looked at his new friends and smiled, “I’ll go now, thanks for everything!” He waved enthusiastically, they waved back, he took his backpack and walked out the workshop. “Excuse me? I’m still here?” Porsche rolled his eyes, “I know that, I can feel my headache coming back.”

Kinn opened his mouth to retaliate, “ Do not antagonize him ” but remembering Tankhun’s words made him snap his mouth shut. After his little meltdown the other day, they had finally talked about feelings .

Kinn made a moue at this.

His brother had consoled him, they had finally had a conversation about his insecurities and their family dynamics, about Tawan and Porsche.

“ Do not antagonize him. ” Tankhun had said, “ You’ve been his personal bully since you two became engaged. ”

“ He was my stalker! ” He retorted, spreading his arms in exasperation. Tankhun snorted and smacked him upside the head “ How can he be your stalker? He practically spits on your face every time he so much as catches a glimpse of you. ”

“ Maybe it’s part of his plan? He wants me to lower my guard so he can pounce on me. ” Tankhun had rolled his eyes, “ Why do you even care? You have been ignoring him since Father announced the engagement, although… ” Tankhun smiled, a smirk full of teeth, “ As of late, you’ve been very interested in him. ”

“ I don’t think interested is the word I– ”  Tankhun crossed his legs,” Why asking me then? About him? About what I think of him? Why can't you just go back to how things were? You know… ” Tankhun moved his hand through the air, “ Going out with… Tawan… ” He spat out the name, “ Ignoring Porsche… breaking off the engagement… ” Kinn raised his hand, stopping him, “ Stop talking, ” He dragged his hand down his face.

“ Dear little brother, have no doubt that you’re incredibly smart… ” Kinn smiled, “ But also incredibly stupid… ” He frowned, “ Why can’t you see what you have right in front of you? ” Kinn got up from the bed, he looked at his brother in anger, “ You just don't like Tawan, admit it. ”

Tankhun pressed his lips together, “ I admit it, ”

“ See!? Do you even want me to be happy? Why can’t any of you respect my decisions? I'm fed up with all this control, I want to be with Tawan, I really do. ”

Takhun stood up, walking towards Kinn with decisive steps until he stopped in front of him, “ Do it then, break off the engagement. ” Kinn opened his mouth, stuttering, “ W-what? ”

“ I said do it, break off the engagement, if you love Tawan, if you are really sure you can be happy with him, do it, I’ll back you up, Kim too, I’ll make sure of it… '' Tankhun raised his chin, “ Go to father, right now, and tell him you will break off the engagement, don’t ask him, just inform him. ”

Kinn felt faint, he stumbled towards the bed and sat heavily on it.

What was Tankhun talking about? Break off the engagement? Now? But what about Porsche?

“ I don’t see you moving, ” Tankhun declared, sitting next to him, “ Kinn… ” Tankhun comfortingly rubbed his back, “ I know you can see it, you’re not stupid, Tawan’s behavior towards you, how he treats you– ”

Kinn closed tightly his eyes but promptly opened them after his own imagination conjured the texts he had read last night.

“ I know… ” He whispered, he raised his head,  “ But you can’t stop loving someone overnight. ”

Kinn jerked up, coming to reality, he looked in front of him, towards the other boy currently ignoring him, his eyes moved from his head to his toes.

He had never noticed, either because of his shitty personality or questionable behavior, but he had never realized… how gorgeous Porsche could be, with his long dark hair, his scarlet full lips, his expressive eyes, that lithe torso and that damning tiny waist. 

Porsche was really beautiful, stunning even, with his big smiles and snarky attitude. Before, he had never given himself the opportunity to get to know him thoroughly, but now…

Kinn trotted until he walked side by side with Porsche.

He had attitude, he was snarky and sarcastic, he was self-confident and charming… but he was not Tawan.

“I couldn’t find you in the accounting building.”

“Okay,” Porsche answered.

*What do you mean with “ Okay ”? What are you trying to say?? Okay what?!*

Kinn took a long deep breath.

*Don’t insult him, don’t insult him, count to one hundred, one–*

“You’ll ride with me today.” Porsche frowned, he turned around but didn’t stop walking, “You’re not my boss.”

Kinn exhaled.

“You need to take care of my arm.” Porsche clicked his tongue, “Why? Need help wiping your own ass or what?”

*Fifty, fifty one, fifty-two…*

Kinn’s smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“Your mother’s orders, did you forget it?”

Porsche rolled his eyes, he stopped at the gate, looking around for Pete.

“Can’t you just go on another date with Tawan? I can just pass the time with your brother, he’s cooler than you anyway.”

*Seventy five, seventy six…*

“I’ll go to a party tonight, I need you as my plus one.” Porsche turned to him, making a face of disgust, “Thanks, but no thanks, even more reason not to go.”

*Eighty eight, eighty nine…*

“Can’t Tawan go with you?”

Kinn gritted his teeth, “It’s a socialité party, people will talk if my own fiancé doesn’t go with me.” Porsche frowned and looked at the floor thoughtfully. He didn’t remember this event occuring in the novel, what socialité party was he talking about? The only one he remembered was the one from university in which Kinn discovered Vegas and Tawan together. What the hell was this event? Was the story changing?! Was it because of him?!

“I said no,” Porsche jutted his chin out.

*One hundred, one hundred and one, one hundred and two…*

“It’s not optional,” Kinn still kept his smile on, “Those are my father’s orders.”

“Then I’m thankful that he’s actually your father and not mine, uh?” Porsche took his phone out of his pocket and began typing.

*One hundred and ten, one hundred and eleven…*

Kinn couldn’t deny that Porsche also made him feel a lot of things… for example, bloodthirst and the insanely desire to murder him, painfully and slowly.

He eyed the other’s phone and then looked at his own, he messaged Pete, telling him they were ready to go.

Porsche looked up at him and stared with a raised eyebrow, “Why are you smiling? Stop it, it’s creepy,” He continued typing.

*One hundred and fifty, One hundred and fifty one…*

“We need to go,” he pronounced every word heavily like he was explaining something to a child. Porsche put his phone away and crossed his arms pettutantly, “I don’t follow your orders, I’m not your subordinate, I'm not even your friend.”

 They looked at each other.

It was true, what Porsche had said, of course it was true, Kinn wasn’t delusional, he knew when people liked him and when they didn’t , it was part of his job as the Theerapanyakun heir to know that, but he had at least expected Porsche to consider him if not a friend… a close acquaintance? But how could he? He could reluctantly admit he hadn’t been the best of people around him, he constantly insulted him, made fun of him and hit him, but the same could be said about Porsche, no?

Porsche huffed, annoyed, broke eye contact and turned around, giving Kinn his back.

Kinn sighed.

No, the same could not be said about Porsche, he was annoying, yes, infuriating and insufferable, but none of that deserved the treatment Kinn had given him, he knew he deserved an apology, he had been a bastard towards him.

He cleared his throat, “Porsche…” The boy ignored him. “Porsche…” 

*One hundred and ninety, one hundred and ninety one…*

“Porsche, I’m so–“ His cellphone interrupted him, Porsche raised his index finger in the “give me a minute” manner and answered, “Hello, baby.”  His bright smile could’ve made Kinn blind.

*Baby? Who is he talking to?* Kinn narrowed his eyes suspiciously, Porsche wasn’t looking at him, he was too focused on the call, Kinn slowly approached him from behind and discreetly leaned over until his ear was basically next to the other side of the phone, listening in on the conversation.

“Hello, Hia!” The voice on the other side answered, it was a boy’s voice, younger by the tone of it.

Kinn scowled, he knew that voice, wasn’t that the child from the mall?

“How are you? Did something happen?” Porsche had never used that tone with him! It was always worm eyebrows this, worm eyebrows that! That disrespectful piece of shit! 

“I just wanted to know how you were.” Porsche smiled, elbowing Kinn on his side to move him away from him, “I’m good, how are you? I’ll go visit you soon. I really want to pinch those cheeks of yours.”

Kinn put his hand on his hips, “How come you have his number?” The boy clicked his tongue and moved the cellphone away from his mouth, answering him, “Pete gave it to me.”

“Why does Pete have it?!” Porsche loudly exhaled while looking at the sky, visibly fed up, “I don’t know! Why do you care??!! Shut up!!” Kinn crossed his arms, he needed to talk to Pete, that kid was basically a stranger and Pete had taken his phone number anyway?! Pete was supposed to be one of the best Theerapanyakun’s bodyguards! Why had he given that kid’s number to Porsche?! Kinn seriously needed to have words with him.

A luxurious car pulled over, right in front of him, in the pilot and passenger seat were big, Kinn’s bodyguard and Pete, Kinn turned to Porsche and held his elbow.

“Come on, you can continue talking inside the car.” Porsche frowned and pulled his arm out of his grip, he mouthed a no and walked the opposite direction. “Where are you going?! Your house is too far away!” Kinn jogged after him.

*Two hundred, two hundred and one… *

“There are these things called buses…” Kinn made a frustrating noise, gripping his hair as he continued following Porsche, “Why are you always so difficult?!” Porsche rolled his eyes and hung up after saying goodbye to Porsché, “Why can’t you ever mind your own business! Go with Tawan!”

“I told you–” Porsche raised his hands, “I don’t care, go or don’t go, I don’t give a fuck, I don’t owe you anything! In fact! You are the one who have been treating me like shit all this time, you’ve been such a bitch to me!” Porsche walked towards him until he got all up in his face, “You constantly scream at me, manhandle me, mistreat me, underestimate me, insult me and hit me! Why should I waste my time on you!”

After being met with silence Porsche continued, “No! Actually, why are you the one continuing wasting your time on me! Go with Tawan! Fuck him! Propose to him! Marry him! I don’t care, if that gets you off my back then I don’t care, I’m happy even! Cheat on me!” Kinn couldn’t look him in the eyes, he kept staring at his own shoes, receiving Porsche’s rant with no reproach, “Continue doing the shit you’ve been doing! Then maybe, only maybe you can finally have the balls to break off this farce.”

“Kinn?” A soft whisper interrupted his tirade, both of them looked behind, where Tawan was, his fingers wiggling with one another and his teeth biting on his lower lip, “Tawan?” 

“I got worried, you haven’t answered any of my texts and you didn’t pick me up this morning.” Porsche frowned at this and eyed Kinn.

*What was happening? Why wasn’t Kinn talking with Tawan? Was he mad at him? Impossible!*

Kinn exhaled and broke eye contact with him, maintaining his gaze on a point above the other’s head, “Tawan…” Porsche wanted to pinch himself, was he in a parallel dimension? Had he transmigrated again and he didn’t realize it? Why was Kinn talking to his sweetheart in such a cold tone? 

“Tawan, not today.” His lover frowned, “What do you mean not today? I thought there was something wrong with your phone but it looks like you’ve been avoiding me!” He balled his hands, “How dare you! I have been worried sick but here you are with that fucking bi–”

“Tawan!” His voice was loud and fierce, even Porsche was startled.

By this time Pete had gotten out of the car and was considering the situation with a critical eye, deciding if he needed to intervene or not.

Tawan began crying, fat tears rolled down his face. “Tawan–”

“How could you use that tone with me! You’ve changed! What has happened to you!” Kinn massaged his eyes, Porsche seriously considered escaping the situation, no one was really paying attention to him but he wanted to know what was gonna happen, why was Kinn acting strange and why had he stopped talking to his boyfriend.

“Oh, cousin, fancy meeting you here.” Kinn’s eye twitched, Porsche groaned. “Vegas,” he spat between gritted teeth.

*Three hundred, three hundred and one, three hundred and two…*

Porsche slowly turned around, trying to be discreet and started walking towards the bus station.

“Oh, Porsche there you are!” Porsche cursed under his breath and turned to face the devil, his smile was crooked, “Heeey Vegas… How have you been?” Porsche looked at Pete and then at Vegas, his bodyguard straightened and raised one eyebrow in question, Porsche widened his eyes and directed his gaze at Vegas again.

Help me! His expression said.

“I’m good now that I found you,” He smiled softly at him, Porsche wanted to vomit. He glanced behind Kinn, where Tawan was, and saw him frowning at Vegas. “Yeeeaaahh, right, here.” Porsche rapidly took the automotive uniform out of his bag and threw it at Vegas face, “You came for this right? Good, you can go now.”

Vegas dragged the shirt down his face, his eyebrow twitching.  

*uh, it looks like it runs in the family.*

“I was actually wondering if you could go with me to a party tonight, it’ll be a high class party so–” Kinn made a strangled sound.

“Excuse me, I invited him already.” Tawan jerked his head towards Kinn, “You what!!!?”

Vegas looked at him unimpressed, he crossed his arms, “And he said yes?”

*What’s happening????* Porsche internally panicked. Wasn’t Vegas interested in Tawan? Wasn’t he supposed to be the love rival? The second lead who forcefully steals Kinn’s love and drags him away? Why was he the one being dragged instead???*

Kinn raised his chin, “He did,” there was no doubt in his voice.

*You fuckin liar!*

Vegas’ expressionless face scanned Kinn, and then, approached Porsche, snatching his hand and holding it between his fingers, a fake expression of hurt on his features, “Porsche, you can go with me, if you don’t want to go with my cousin.”

Porsche tried to draw his palm back with no success, he turned his head towards Pete and begged with his eyes, his supposed friend ignored him and looked at the sky.

*Fucking, useless traitor, and you call yourself a bodyguard, you–*

“Hell naw!” Porsche kept on pulling his arm back, Vegas was holding him tightly making the both of them move as if they were in a tug war, “Let go, you psyc–”

“Sir,” Pete finally intervened, swallowing heavily when Vegas focused on him, “It’s time to go… it’s getting late,” He fearfully gripped Vegas' forearm, Vegas’ muscles flexed but otherwise let go of Porsche, taking some steps back. 

“Porsch–” Kinn hit him with his shoulder before he continued talking and held Porsche by the wrist, the same one Vegas had touched, “Let 's go then.”

“No!” Tawan got in front of the car doors, blocking them, “Why are you going to a party with him ?” He made a disgusted face at the last word, “Why can’t you take me instead?”

Kinn exhaled, *Six hundred and thirty–*

“Tawan I–”

“You are always like this! You’re such a fucking coward, you don’t know how to have a lover, you are such a piece of shit, how could you–”

*Sixty hundred and fifty–*

“And to think I finally believed in you! You are nothing but a–”

*Sixty hundred and seventy one–*

“You will come back begging, but no! You need to buy me a–”

*Sixty hundred and ninety–*

“And that will not be enough! If you want me to forgive you–”

“Oh god, you are a fucking backstabber, goldigger, if you don’t shut up, I’ll make you shut up… ” Pete held Porsche back, Tawan continued talking, Vegas was behind all of them, laughing, the sound of his voice against his ears felt like knives stabbing him in the head,  he felt his eyes pulsate, his breath took a dangerous fast pace and his heart was about to give out, he couldn’t even concentrate on what was happening, he needed peace, he needed sleep, he needed them to stop.

*Seventy hundred and sixty six…*

He wanted to control himself, he had to assure Tawan, to calm Porsche down, to get away from his hateful cousin, he must be strong and take the reins, he was a leader, the heir of the Theerapanyakuns, a petty thing such as a discussion shouldn’t affect him like this.

“Don’t talk to me, slut!!” Tawan screeched at Porsche.

*To hell with this!*

Kinn’s eyes snapped open, Tawan was in front of him, screaming , his face was an ugly red, his thick veins stood out from his forehead, every time he opened his mouth, little tendrils of spit flew off from the corner of his lips, his eyes were wide and mad mirroring the same hateful words he was spouting.

For the first time, Kinn looked at him with disgust.

“Tawan, shut the fuck up,” He didn’t scream, he just ordered. Tawan immediately stopped, he looked offended and astonished, “Kinn…” his eyes began to water, “Why are you talking to me like that? Kinn, I–”

“Pete, get him out of the way.” Tawan sputtered, “Kinn!” Pete held him from behind the neck, like he was a dog and kicked him off from the front. Kinn exhaled again, and opened the door for Porsche, the latter entered in silence, Kinn did the same.

None of them said anything until they reached Kinn’s house.

~•~

Kinn and Porsche got into the room in silence, understandably so. Porsche felt uncomfortable and shocked. First, because Kinn looked like someone had run him over, and he didn’t know what to do about that. He had never been the person to console someone, in his first life, there had been no one to comfort, should he hug him? Talk to him? Act like nothing had happened? He didn’t know.

Second, because of how Kinn had treated Tawan, it was the first time he had used such harsh words on someone else other than Porsche. The way he had looked at Tawan, was the same expression he had had that day in the converse shop towards him.

Porsche glanced at Kinn.

Kinn had always been careful around Tawan, treated him like a prince, like an angel, not once, in the novel, had he ever insulted him or screamed at him in rage or madness, even less with resentment or tiredness, what happened back in school was something new, in fact, Porsche wasn’t even sure he was still on the same path anymore. Did Porchay’s appearance mean something to him? Why was Vegas suddenly following him around? Why did Kinn and Tawan seem to have a fallout? What about this so-called party event?  He didn’t remember any of that happening in the original story, and that made him afraid, if the story continued like this, he wouldn't be able to predict anything anymore.

“Here, take this, father bought it for you to wear at the party.” Porsche took the bag still lost in thought, he entered the bathroom to change, absentmindedly taking the clothes out of the bag when he felt something straight and hard between his fingers, he looked down and squeaked.

*What the fuck is this!*

From the other side, Kinn robotically changed, he wanted to take a shower, but the bathroom was occupied with Porsche, it was getting late anyway so any thought of refreshing himself inside his bath flew off the window.

He felt tired.

He didn’t want to go to the party, he didn’t want to face lots of people sucking it up to him, he didn’t want to see his bastard cousin, he didn’t want to go with Porsche, and he didn’t want to keep thinking of Tawan.

He felt guilty, the way he had talked to him… simply unforgivable, he had always swore to himself he would treat the person he loved with care and respect, and he had broken that promise so easily today.

Tawan was right, he had changed, he didn’t deserve him.

Kinn looked at the door, where Porsche was changing. 

Was it because of Porsche? Was it his fault?

Kinn shook his head.

Of course not, no one was at fault except him. Porsche and Tankhun had been right, he was a bully, he didn’t know how to treat his loved ones. If he was unable to control himself, he didn’t deserve happiness.

The bathroom door opened, Kinn didn’t turn around, too busy putting on his tie and cufflinks, he silently passed his eyes over his family ring, a bitter feeling formed in the pit of his stomach but he ignored it, he turned to face Porsche.

“Are you rea–” and he promptly choked on his spit, “Wh- What the fu–” Porsche flushed red, he hugged his torso, hiding the corset he was wearing from view.

“If you say one word, I’ll choke you with your tie.” He was wearing a black button up as a undershirt for the black and gold corset he was wearing, it hugged every one of his curves, curves Kinn didn’t know a man could have, it was tight on him, it ended in a V right where his hips began, giving the illusion of a hourglass figure but instead of looking feminine, it just accentuated his broad shoulders and slim lower body.

Kinn swallowed.

“J–just–” he inhaled, begging his brain to continue working, “Let’s go, you took so long in the bathroom.”

Porsche huffed, he changed his shoes for the ones Kinn offered to him and bend down to tie them, Kinn made a strangled sound, “Yeah well, you try to put a fucking corset on and then we’ll talk…”

They went down the stairs, Pete and the other bodyguards were waiting for them at the entrance. When their bosses appeared all of them straightened up, Pete looked at Porsche from head to toe, whistling.

“Shut up,” he drawled, lightly punching Pete in the chest.

Kinn and Porsche were side by side inside the car. Although the atmosphere wasn’t as unbearable as before, he could feel Kinn’s eyes on him, he felt his hair stand on end, he wanted to snap at him, to tell him to mind his own business, but he didn’t know if Kinn was in that strange mood from before and he didn’t want to make things worse for him, so he maintained his apparent nonchalant posture, and looked outside the window, ignoring Kinn’s existence.

After a while of excruciating pain in which Porsche strangely felt like a sheep being preyed upon by a wolf, Pete finally announced they had reached their destination. Porsche didn’t wait for a bodyguard to open his door and practically jumped out the car, blessing the fresh air, feeling free from the other’s penetrating gaze.

“Let’s go,” Kinn ordered. Porsche wanted to punch him, but a hand on his lower back made him startle, “Where the hell are you touching, asshole?” He moved around, trying to dislodge it but this only made him grab him tighter.

“I don’t want to, but it'll look strange if we were too far apart, you’re supposed to be my fiancé.” Porsche pinched the hand around his waist until Kinn hissed in pain, “Is that so, honey?” Only Porsche could make an endearment sound like an insult.

“Yes,” Kinn growled, squeezing Porsche’s waist and forcing him against his side, making it impossible for the both of them to move apart. “How in the fuck am I supposed to walk, you fucking idiot,” Porsche scratched Kinn’s hand. “Fucking behave, why are you always like this?” Kinn pinched him on the side. “Oww, you little–” Porsche scratched, Kinn pinched, the latter knew if he looked at his hand, it would be red and ragged, they continued like this until they were interrupted by a whimper and a mocking laugh.

They both stopped and incredulously looked at the pair in front of him. Tawan was wearing a silky red shirt, opened in the front, letting his smooth chest free to view, he had it tucked inside his black tights pants that hugged his hips and long legs; while Vegas was in all white, white opened shirt, white jacket, white dress pants, wearing a cheshire smile on, he was looking appreciatively at Porsche, Kinn frowned and took a couple of steps forward, hiding as best as he could Porsche from view.

“Well, I didn’t have a plus one, and Tawan here looked so heartbroken,” Vegas pouted, “I couldn’t go without him, he looked so lonely.”

Tawan looked at Kinn from under his lashes, he got close, resting both of his hands against Kinn’s strong chest, careful of not touching his bad arm.

“Kinn, I wanted to apologize.” Porsche looked at him in disbelief. Kinn gritted his teeth, “Tawan, we can talk later.” 

“But–!” Porsche took pity on him, he passed an arm around his hips, and physically hauled him to the other side, towards a group of rich people conversing with each other.

“Oh, mister Theerapanyakun, how lovely of you to join us,” The guy who had spoken eyed Porsche with a smile, “Is this your famous fiancé, he’s very beautiful, good catch.”

Porsche frowned. “His fiancé is right here and can hear you, thank you.” The pretty boy next to him giggled, “Time, you made him mad.” Time stretched out his hand, Porsche didn’t take it, the other boy laughed awkwardly and retreated his arm, “Sorry for that, I’m Time, and this lovely angel right here is Tay.” Tay waved, he was the only one who didn’t look like an asshole.

“Hello, I’m Porsche.” The girl who had been talking to Kinn gave him a look, “Where had you been hiding him, Kinn?” she snickered, “He looks like a model, is he an actor or something?” 

“Nothing like that,” He said, “We met at university.”

“How boring!” She declared, “Isn’t he rich too? Why is he studying? I had always said that a life well lived only consists of traveling and spending money, am I right?” She laughed, Tay answered her laugh with one of his, he sounded as if he was in pain, Time just smiled, Kinn’s eye twitched. “I can not understand how come there are people who can not travel and are working aaalll the time, I mean, are plane tickets really that expensive?” Porsche wondered if death was worse than this. 

“Indeed,” An older man joined the conversation, greeting everyone and saluting Kinn with a glint in his eyes, “Mister Kinn, I’m so glad I could find you here, with the risk of sounding too forward, may I have a word with you?”  He eyed the people present and cleared his throat, “It’s about business.” Porsche narrowed his eyes, he looked behind the man at the obvious bodyguards he had, and concluded that it was most likely something about the mafia.

“Sure,” Kinn instantly said, he looked at Porsche and turned around, making eye contact with his staff. His bodyguards nodded and followed him.

“Uh, strange,” The girl said after watching a bunch of men following them around, “Anyway…” She softly touched Porsche’s arm, “This party is so loud!” Tay and Porsche raised an eyebrow and looked around, the musicians next to the food were playing soft ambient music, the people around were conversing calmly, most of them were business women and men, there was no such thing as noise here. “Why don’t we go somewhere else?” she closed in on him, rubbing her breasts against his arm.

“Eugh,” Porsche couldn't help but mutter, Tay and Time snickered, the girl looked offended. “I need to– uh,” He looked around, “The bathroom, yeah.”

She sensually smiled, “Oh, we could–”

“Yeah no, bye,” He trotted out of the premises, going down the hallway and taking a lot of sharp turns, making sure the girl wasn’t following him. “Fuck,” He cursed, panting.  Porsche stood still for a while, when he didn’t hear anything, he walked around trying to go back to where the party was being held.

*Why is this mansion so fucking big.* He took out his phone, thinking about calling Pete. 

“Come on, Vegas,” A moan was heard, breaking the silence, Porsche felt goosebumps all over his body.

*Oh fuck, oh no, no, no, no, no…* Porshce risked a glimpse, silently, sticking his head out, staring towards the opposite wall, where two shadow figures could barely be discerned in the middle of the darkness.

Porsche immediately put his phone on silent and called Pete, he lowered the volume so his voice wouldn’t stand out.

“Porsche?” He asked in panic, not realizing he wasn’t calling him with a title, “Where are you?! I lost you when you ran away!” Porsche didn't answer, he opened LINE and messaged Pete.

I think Tawan is cheating on Kinn

“Porsche? Porsche! Are you in danger??” Porsche cursed and sent the same message over and over, he knew Pete always had his notifications on. “Wait, are you the one texting me??” Porsche made a low “ Hmm-hm ” sound.

Just listen! 

“Fuck, Vegas yes.” Porsche focused on the two figures once more, he could barely make out some details, but that voice, that fucking infuriating, whiny voice, that was all Tawan. “I’ll not fuck you, you have been a bad boy.”

Tawan whimpered, he couldn't see where his hand was, but it disappeared between the two of them, moving up and down. Porsche felt disgusted, “I know, I know, give me more time, I know Kinn still loves me, maybe you could take care of Porsche.”

He froze, he willed himself not to run.

The call with Pete was still on but he couldn’t hear his voice on the other side anymore, Porsche prayed Pete was still there.

“He has been a nuisance as of lately, he has made my job a little difficult.” Vegas gripped Tawan's jaw, “I don’t have the time, Tawan. The faster you can take care of Kinn the sooner we will have our happy ending.”

Tawan purred, “Mmm… yes, I’ll look so good, being the true heir’s husband.” Vegas snorted, it was obvious he didn’t care about him, but Tawan was too high on his pleasure to notice. “He loves me, he’s stupid like that.”

Vegas gripped the hair of his nape, and forced him on his knees, “Get to work.” Tawan moaned, a zipper being opened was heard and then sticky sounds followed. “Fuck yeah,” Vegas said breathlessly. Tawan moaned, grabbing the others hips for support, “Vegas.” After a while, he stood up and jumped him, his legs around his hips, his fingers clinging to his shoulders, “Vegas, only you know how to fuck me, come on!”

The lights turned on.

Porsche blinked, adjusting his vision to the sudden brightness, he held in a gasp, looking at the two figures at the end of the hall, Pete was gripping tightly his phone in his hand, and Kinn, who was besides him, was looking at Vegas and Tawan with a unreadable expression on.

*Where is the popcorn when one needs it?*

“Kinn!” Tawan screamed, getting down and fixing his clothes, “What–” he began approaching him but stopped, looking back at Vegas and moving his gaze to Porsche, he pointed at him accusingly, “You!” He faced Kinn once again, “Kinn this is not what it looks like!” 

Kinn didn’t say anything, his face expressionless.

“Kinn, I was drugged! I’m sorry, it was my fault, I didn't realize, I think it was an aphrodisiac!” Porsche remembered those lines, those were the same words Tawan had said to Kinn in that frat party.

Porsche frowned.

Why was it happening now? It didn’t make any sense, he did not consider he had made changes significant enough for the novel to have become like this.

He looked up when he felt eyes on him, he froze when he realized Vegas was watching him, there was no life in his pupils, Porsche took a step back, Vegas followed with one forward, his gaze unwavering, he flinched still retreating, Vegas raised his hand.

“Mister Vegas,” Pete was all smiles and sharp eyes, he intercepted his hand, his body shielding Porsche. Vegas observed him, but the bodyguard held eye contact unflinchingly, “What’s your name?” Vegas asked him.

Pete swallowed, but kept still, “I’m Pete, sir.” Vegas and Pete looked at each other. “You’re not afraid of me,” He declared, Pete was silent, the other smiled, his lips stretched over his face, they were so close that Pete could see his pupils dilating and his own reflection mirrored in them, the bodyguard felt as if an ice bucket had been thrown at him. “You will,” Vegas violently drew his arm back and went away.

“Kinn!” Tawan was on his knees, he had snot all over his face, “Why can’t you believe me? I’m telling the truth!” While Pete continued being astonished, Porsche walked over to Kinn, he hadn’t said anything since he had gotten here.

“Kinn,” Porsche softly caressed his shoulder, “Kinn are you okay?”

“Don’t touch him, whore!” Tawan got up, he raised his arm, about to slap him when a fist collided against his face, blood poured all over his lips and chin, he screamed, covering his nose.

Porsche wiped his fist on his pants and took a look at Kinn, his face unreadable, impassive, but he knew better, he was not okay, Porsche knew he was bottling everything deep inside him.

He softly took his hand and guided him towards the closest room he could find, it looked like an office, there was a sofa inside, they sat there, Tawan’s cries could faintly be heard.

“Kinn?” Kinn was a force, he was fiery and brave, at every place he got to, he demanded attention and respect, he was unstoppable. Right now, the Kinn Porsche was seeing, was a mere shadow of a man, “Kinn, please talk to me.”

Kinn was vacantly looking at the floor, his eyes weren’t moving, he was just looking at nothing, slouched over in defeat. Porsche didn’t know what to do, it was the first time he saw him like that, like a man who had lost everything. Though in a sense he had, in the original novel, the main argument circled around Tawan and Kinn’s relationship, now that Kinn had seen what he did, what was going to happen? What would his life become? What about him?

He shook his head.

No, this was not about him, Kinn needed help, he needed support, he knew he was a nuisance to Kinn, but maybe, if he couldn’t give him the comfort he needed, he could call someone?.

Porsche took his phone out, but his hand stayed over the screen. Should he call Pete? No, maybe, Thankhun? 

“Kinn, do you want me to call P’Tankhun?” Kinn’s eyes moved but he didn’t answer. “Kinn…” Porsche touched his hand, the same hand he had pinched earlier, guilt came all over him when he noticed the marks he had left, Kinn hissed and jumped. “I’m sorry!” Porsche took his hand back, Kinn focused on him, his face was not expressionless anymore. But he wondered if he preferred that, the pain reflected in his orbes, the corner of his lips drastically pulled down, his thick eyebrows meeting in the middle.

“I–” his voice cracked, the first tear rolled down, “You can laugh at me now.” 

“What?” Porsche croaked, Kinn smiled, the smirk didn’t erase the misery on his face, “I know you hate me, you can laugh at me now, I’m so pathetic.”

“Kinn, no,” He vehemently shook his head, “Kinn, I’ll never do that to you, never.” More tears rolled down his face. “Kinn, you don’t look pathetic, you’re just human, you wanted to believe, you…” Porsche stopped, he didn’t want to say anything wrong, “Kinn, nobody has the right to laugh at you, you hear me?” Kinn didn’t answer.

“Kinn, it hurts, I know it does, I’m sorry you got to know that way, you deserved better, I’m sorry.”

Kinn laughed, “Why are you apologizing? I have been a piece of shit to you.” Porsche held his hand, “Yes, you have, but I want to believe that’s part of your charm.”

Kinn chuckled, “You don’t mean that.” His fingers interlaced with Porsche’s. “I mean it, I do mean it, Kinn, every word I said, you deserve better, don’t you dare think otherwise, you deserve the best in the world.”

He pulled Porsche towards him and buried his head between his neck and shoulder, he began sobbing loudly, big fat tears wetting Porsche’s attire, his own sobs making him shake aggressively. The laments of his voice echoing against the walls and Porsche hugged him hard against his chest through all of that.

Chapter Text

Depression was something the Theerapanyakuns didn’t go through, depression was teenage angst bullshit, emo crap, something that only weak people felt when they couldn’t face their problems.

Depression was also a luxury.

A luxury that Kinn, for all his money, did not have the pleasure to even think about.

And because he knew this, because since he was a kid, he was taught to keep going, to be wise, to be the strongest in the room, he swallowed his misery trying not to think about the knot rapidly forming in the pit of his stomach, settling deep and hard inside his lungs, keeping him from breathing.

But Kinn digressed.

He was busy, he didn’t have the time to think about unimportant matters such as feelings and his instability. He had university, a company to run, people to kill, and a mafia to lead.

He was too occupied to even care about that traitorous fucker, his psycho cousin or… Porsche.

Kinn threw the papers he was reading onto the desk with a loud tsk. After the tenth time trying to read them in vain, Kinn had given up. He honestly didn’t understand the words he was reading, he couldn't even process what the documents were about, his vision had been blurry ever since that day, a week ago, when his lover…

*Ex lover* he thought bitterly.

Decided to fuck around with his cousin and hence with his life too.

Kinn should not care, this shouldn’t disturb him. He was strong, he was raised to be the heir, the leader, the next head of the family, and such trivial matters of the heart ought not to affect him so.

“Mister Kinn?” With a start, he raised his head, staring blankly at his subordinate. Said man squirmed under the strong gaze, but otherwise he said, “Mister Porsche has arrived.” His boss raised his brows.

Since last week when that fiasco happened, Kinn hadn’t had the guts to contact Porsche.

He felt utterly mortified by his behavior, crying on Porsche’s shoulder, babbling nonsense against his collarbone and drying his tears with his expensive shirt. Just thinking about it made Kinn’s skin crawl.

On the other hand, Porsche hadn’t visited him until today, Kinn didn’t know why but he could think of a few reasons. Had Porsche finally realized how fucked up he was? Did he think him weak? Was he disgusted by him? By how he had cried like a baby? By how he was fooled by one of the people he trusted the most? 

Kinn didn’t fault him, he was truly weak and pathetic, he didn’t deserve to be the next in line, he didn’t deserve his family, he didn’t deserve Porsche, if he wasn’t even able to pint point someone as close as Tawan cheating on him with his fucking cousin, how can he even think of being worthy of love?

“Mister Kinn?” He looks at him with the same vacant expression. “Do I let him in?” 

Kinn wanted to know the answer to that question too. Was Porsche here to officially break off the engagement? Was he going to leave him? Was he ever going to see him again? And, was he selfish for wanting him by his side right now? To never let him go?

“I…” Kinn began and then stopped, he anxiously bit his lower lip only to let it go after he realized what kind of behavior he was exhibiting in front of his subordinate. “I don't…”

He didn’t what? Want to see him? Beg him not to leave him like Tawan did? He wasn’t that pitiful yet.

He cleared his throat and straightened his posture, “Don’t let him in, I’m busy.” His subordinate nodded and walked out the room, leaving Kinn alone with his thoughts.

After he made sure the door was closed, he trotted towards the glass windows and looked down. He stood there until a lithe figure was seen, his long black hair frantically moved every time he turned his head, he seemed mad and worried at the same time, with his pretty features deforming because of his scowl, his tanned skin glowed as if it was glass, his black shirt that was opened practically to his navel, it showed off his chest, and although there wasn’t any muscle in there, his perfect skin and sinful collarbones called for his attention. He kept walking around the garden, his long legs attracting eyes with every step he took. He was talking, practically moving all his body as he continued speaking, his arms raised and aggressively moving towards the house, next to him, a figure clad in black kept following him, trying to calm him down. After a while, when the other seemed more at peace, a third person joined them.

He was wearing a vibrant red that went along with his light brown hair and tall height. The man approached them and patted the hair of the younger one, Kinn had never seen him like this, this tranquil and serene persona he was portraying, for a moment there, Kinn was tempted to go outside to hear what they were talking about.

Finally, the figure in red turned, as if feeling the sharp eyes that were watching him, when their gazes met, Kinn forced himself not to react as his older brother looked at him. He wasn’t fooling around as he usually was, instead, he kept patting Porsche’s head and talking with Pete without breaking eye contact with his little brother.

After a while with the two of them holding eye contact without acknowledging the other, Tankhun smiled. It wasn’t a mocking smile, not even a smirk, it was clear of any ill intent or teasing, instead, Khun was looking at him with understanding and compassion, his eyes were soft.

For a moment there, The hand that kept on rubbing Porsche’s head felt as if it was for him , as if Khun knew Kinn wasn’t going to accept such gestures of comfort, not even from his own family. Not in the state he was in, not when everything was crumbling down, not when he knew he only needed a little spect of sympathy to hold onto that sentiment and never let it go, but Kinn didn’t want to be that person, for what? People only saw him as a tool, as a wallet, as a ladder they could climb to reach their goals.

And Kinn was tired of being used, he couldn’t see the point of having someone anymore, not when the price was too high for him to pay. 

Kinn turned. He walked to his desk, where he continued going through his papers, looking at the words without reading, thinking without being really there, lamenting without shedding a tear and howling without making a sound.

After some time being in the same position and reading the same paragraph for what seemed like an hour, Kinn massaged his eyes. He looked around the room until he spotted his cellphone, it had been religiously turned down since the fiasco last week.

He looked at the black screen and then decided to turn it on. His heart was beating rapidly, he felt sick, his insides were churning and his body was drowning in sweat.

As the cellphone’s screen brightened, his hands began to tremble. When his legs began shaking too, he stumbled towards the bed and let himself fall in there.

The phone began vibrating with incoming messages and notifications, his eyes zeroed on the LINE app, Kinn let out a long breath and tapped on it before he could regret it.

He tightly closed his eyes but almost immediately opened them after scolding himself for being such a coward.  He breathed deeply when he saw the messages, the first one in the chat was surprisingly enough, Porsche, after him was Tawan, and closely behind was Vegas.

Kinn frowned, he pondered for a moment and then decided to tap on Tawan’s chat.

Kinn yu hve to blieve me, U misuderstod plexe talk to me

-Tawan

Kinn

-Tawan

R u really such an ashole??? are yoiu really no going to speak to me???

-Tawan

Kinn I swaer to god if u dont anser me I’m endng things

-Tawan

Kinn I lve you

-Tawan

Kinn hw can you terat me like this?

-Tawan

Kinn, I dont fel so godd, plese come for me

-Tawan

Y ar you traeting me like this??? fucking pussy you cant even answer me

-Tawan

Kinn stopped reading and tried to type a response, his thumb hovered over the keyboard, what was he supposed to say to a cheating ex? What was he supposed to say to Tawan? To the man he once loved? To the man he still loves despite the knife he stabbed in his heart?

When his eyes began watering, Kinn roughly swept the upcoming tears away and exited the chat to click on the one with Porsche’s.

Kinn, are you okay??

-Porsche

Kinn I know you don’t want to talk but I want to know if you’re ok

-Porsche

I haven’t gone to your house because I want to give you space, but you are worrying me, you haven’t gone to university either, Tankhun told me you are busy with work but I want to know if you’re okay

-Porsche

Kinn?

-Porsche

Kinn?

-Porsche

Kinn?

-Porsche

You know I can be like, really annoying, answer me

-Porsche

Kinn, please

-Porsche

Ok, be that way, I’m going

-Porsche

Kinn smiled at the last message, it had been sent today, that meant Porsche had come because he hadn’t answered him. It was endearing, really, for someone as annoying as Porsche was, the man was so goddamn cute.

He wondered if Porsche was already gone, he didn’t hear anything outside and he didn’t want to look through the window like a long suffering wife waiting to be consoled. It was better actually, if Porsche went back to his house, that meant he didn’t have to have any expectations of him staying by his side. It was better if Porsche left him, maybe that way he’d learn from his mistakes.

Kinn exited the chat and finally looked at Vega’s.

He stood still, trying to brace himself for whatever shitstorm Vegas was about to throw his way, before tapping on it, Kinn tried to think about what shit could his cousin possibly want to say to him, but the more he thought the more he stressed.

He decided to open the chat.

😈

-Vegas

Kinn frowned and then looked at the attachment under the message. He instantly felt the dread taking over his body, his skin began freezing even though the sweat was forming on his palms and temples.

Almost hypnotized, unaware of his own body’s movements, he downloaded the attachment and opened it.

“That fucking piece of shit!!” He threw the phone against the wall, the screen instantly cracking, little fine parts of glass exploding towards all directions. “That motherfucker son of a bitch!” He screamed his lungs out, his once handsome face was ugly, the same as his blood red eyes, his pale skin showcasing the bulging blue veins of his neck and arms making him look almost inhumane.

“I’m going to kill that fucking cunt and that fucking son of a bitch!” He threw the things on his desk towards the floor, took the chair where moments ago he had sat on and began hitting whatever he could find with it. “Who do you think you are, little piece of shit! Fuck! Shit! Goddammit!”

“Ugh!” Kinn stumbled and fell to the floor, gripping his hurt arm, “Big! Bring me a fucking whiskey!”

His animalistic face distorted when he didn’t hear the usual “ Yes, Sir”

“Fuck!” Kinn tried to get up but the throbbing pain in his arm incapacitated him, “Big!” He screamed again, when he heard the door opening, he tried to stand up, not wanting his bodyguard to see him this affected, not when he was supposed to be the cold indifferent boss he wanted everyone to believe he was.

“Give me the fucking whiskey.” Without looking, he stretched out his arm, expecting to touch the neck of the bootle, instead, he smelled something bitter and sweet and then, the wide shape of a tumbler being put on his palm. 

“I think you will like this better.” Kinn turned, Porsche was there, surveying the room with critical eyes.

“Get out.” Kinn eyed the liquid inside.

“No.” Porsche wasn’t even looking at him, deciding to walk around the trashed room with his hands behind his back.

He scoffed, “It wasn’t a suggestion.”

“Nor was mine.” Kinn scowled and looked down, he didn’t want to see the judging gaze of Porsche walking around the room. Being incapable of controlling his emotions was another weakness he needed to fix. 

“How are you feeling?” The question came from behind but he didn’t turn around to see him, he critically looked at the fancy liquid inside the glass, moving it from side to side, “What’s this?”

“Alcohol.” Kinn scoffed but otherwise took a first sip, moving it around his mouth, caressing the softness on his tongue until he swallowed it, “It’s good, did you make it?”

“Ha! Of course I made it.” Kinn raised an eyebrow and turned to see him, his gaze immediately got stuck on Porsche’s smile. He was leaning on the counter, watching Kinn intensely, his eyes moved from his head to his feet as if analyzing him; after he finished his impromptu check out he walked out from behind it and stood next to him, “Sooo… wanna hang out?”  

Kinn looked at him, now both of them observing each other without saying anything, the mafia boss pursed his lips, trying to discern what Porsche was trying to accomplish.

Why would he want to go out with him after everything? After he repeatedly insulted him and physically hurt him? After he humiliated him with Tawan and then used him when he felt like shit?

“Why?” Kinn croaked out and lowered his eyes to his shoes. Porsche slightly slapped him on the head, “What do you mean with why? You look like utter shit.” Kinn scowled and sent him a poisonous glare. “Let’s go out, let off some steam, get drunk– ”

“But why?” Porsche made a face and looked at him confusedly, Kinn sighed and explained, “Why did you come? Why are you still around? Why…” he swallowed heavily and mentally reprimanded himself to not stutter, “Why are you treating me like this?”

“Like what?” Porsche tried to touch him but Kinn got out of the way before his hand landed. “Oh for fucks’ sake, don’t make me say it.”

“Say what, Kinn?” Porsche snapped. “Why are you treating me like a friend??!” Kinn passed his hands through the greasy strands of his hair, “Why do you keep coming back?” he walked around the room looking everywhere except at Porsche, “What do you want from me?” he sat on the bed, his shoulders were hunched, his form looked tired and small, “Just tell me what you want and I will give it to you…” he whispered the last part, Porsche would’ve been unable to hear it if it weren't because he had been getting closer since Kinn’s tirade.

“Ok…” he accepted, Kinn’s shoulders slagged some more. “Right,” Annakinn nodded, waiting for Porsche’s request. “You smell like shit, first you’re going to take a bath.” He snapped his head up, “Excuse me??”

Porsche didn’t give him an explanation, he took his wrist and dragged him over the shower, basically bullying him inside, “Go take a bath, put on some clothes, not too formal, you’ll need to feel comfortable. Don’t take too long.”

“Wait, Porsche wha–” And then he shut the door in his face and walked out the room, catching the attention of Big and Pete, “Hey! We are going out, get the car ready will ya?”

Big sputtered, “We?” Porsche smiled, he leaned against the doorframe and put a hand on his hip, “Kinn and I, of course.”

“Sir is going out??” Porsche rolled his eyes and put his attention on Pete, “We are going out.” Pete smiled and turned around, ignoring Big’s questioning.

Porsche closed the door once again and looked around the mess in the room. He trotted towards the destroyed cell phone and sharp screen parts scattered around it, he squatted and began picking them one by one, he didn’t know if Kinn would want to repair it later so he put them on the only table still standing.

Porsche looked around the room, oddly irked by the miserable state of it, the windows were obscured by the thick curtain s, creating an oppressive feeling that increased everytime one looked at the broken or discarded objects left on the floor.

Porsche pursed his lips and began cleaning slowly, picking everything up and putting it on the desk, rearranging the fallen furniture, collecting the dirty clothes and opening the windows to let fresh air in.

After a while trying to make Kinn’s room worth living again, Porsche heard the water stop, he turned around at the same time Kinn got out of the bathroom. He saw Kinn’s lips move but his brain was busy trying to rearrange his insides, his vision focused on the toned pectorals and hard muscles in front of him.

“Porsche?” His skin was white and hard, his stomach was flat but unlike him, a six pack could be seen in all its splendor, he was broad too, broader than him, with a proportioned small waist and sharp hip bones that peaked from under the towel around his hips, protecting his modesty.

“Porsche!” Kinn’s voice woke him from his reverie, “Uh?”

“I asked, where are we going?” Porsche gave his muscles one more longing stare and focused on his face, specifically on his angry eyebrows, those were a safe place.

“Hum Bar.” Kinn scowled and walked inside his closet.

“Where the hell is that?” Porsche let himself fall on the bed and slapped his face gently, he closed his eyes tightly, trying to focus, “Just worry about looking pretty and leave the rest to me.” Kinn hummed and didn’t say anything else.

“Why don’t you invite your friends?” Porsche asked him. “Why don’t you invite yours?” Kinn talked back.  Both of them fell silent, neither wanting to acknowledge they didn’t really have friends. True, Tem and those guys from automotive engineering existed, but Kinn was such a private person, he wouldn’t want him to feel uncomfortable by inviting people he didn’t know. And even though Porsche had always been a social butterfly he actually didn’t feel comfortable hanging out with strangers, not when he was inside a BL novel in a world where everything and anything could happen.

Who knows when the newest scumbag, like Vegas, version would jump from? 

Porsche looked at the room where Kinn had disappeared.

Kinn was supposed to be the main character: indomitable, forever handsome, a powerful mafia boss, heir of the most influential family in Thailand, one of the richest people in the country, maybe even in the world. But now that Porsche was there, now that Tawan was no more, that Vegas had been found out, that the original Porsche didn’t exist anymore, he didn’t know what to do with Kinn and himself.

He wasn’t just in a book anymore. Kinn wasn’t only the protagonist, Tawan wasn’t the male lead and Porsche wasn’t the villain, this wasn’t a fictional story, this was reality, a reality that could hurt him or even worse, kill him. It was easier at the beginning, when the only thing he had to do was to be an asshole to Kinn and continue living his rich life, like he had always wanted to.

But now…

Kinn walked in, he was wearing simple black slacks and a gray baggy shirt with the first buttons down, showing off his chest and alabaster skin, his hard pectorals shyly peeking out from the neckline.

Porsche hated him.

“Okay! Let's go!” Porsche jumped to his feet and hauled Kinn outside before he could change his mind. His usual guards instantly fell into step behind them, Pete and Big leading the head of the group. 

The both of them entered the car, startling slightly at the sight of Tankhun’s manic smile.

“You didn’t think of going out without me, did you?”

“Uh…” Kinn sputtered. Porsche offered him a bright smile and latched onto his arm, moving him from side to side while looking up at him like a child, “Of course not! I’m glad you’re here.” Tankhun’s smile turned soft, he gently patted the top of Porsche’s head and then looked at Kinn with a discernible expression.

Kinn looked at him with a raised eyebrow, Tankhun sighed and shook his head, he stretched out his arm, slowly, as if he was a cat that needed pacifying, his little brother eyed the hand approaching but didn’t move, after what appeared to be hours, Khun’s soft fingers caressed Kinn’s head, his hand slowly patting his hair and gently petting his strands.

Kinn shuddered.

After a while in which the three of them desperately tried to ignore the elephant in the room- with Khun being a lovely, caring Phi; Porsche being his usual teasing self but trying hard not to bully Kinn’s constipated face- they reached Hum Bar.

The instant the car stopped, Kinn practically fled from them, opening the car door before any of his bodyguards could, taking deep breaths, letting his red face fall back into his usual pale tone.

“We are here!” Porsche stretched out, his spine snapping with every move. Kinn’s eyes went to the tempting portion of skin the shirt showed when it rode up but instantly averted his eyes with guilt.

Tankhun looked at both of them.

“Idiots,” He mumbled under his breath and then snapped a smile. He took both of his nongs by their arms, being careful of Kinn’s cast, and dragged them inside. 

“Let’s have fun!” 

The bar, that so far had been boringly calm, instantly exploded once Tankhun screamed his lungs out and invited everyone inside for a drink. He forced Arm to take care of the music and all of their bodyguards to drink their problems away.

“What the hell!” Yok frantically began making drinks, the only waiter was running around serving drinks and taking care of the clients. The lights inside the bair flickered, from red to green, from gray to bright white, everyone began dancing and laughing.

Porsche looked around, a big smile stretched over his face, he walked towards the bar, next to Yok.

“Here, let me help you.” Yok frowned, “You know how to make drinks rich boy?” Porsche’s smile grew bigger, he didn’t answer, instead he took the multiple orders and liquors like a pro (he actually was one) and began mixing drinks with a charismatic smile and sweetened words. 

Porsche was meant for this, he was meant for loud crowds and simple manners, for dirty bars and easy laughs. He hadn’t realized until now, but he needed this, to talk and party with people who understood him, to be himself and not the villain he was supposed to be, to be only Porsche the nobody and not Porsche the rich asshole. 

He watched fondly as Arm, Pol and Pete danced around the establishment, visibly drunk and enjoying themselves with vigor. Next to them was Tankhun, doing some short of break dance that looked more like a seizure.  From the corner of his eye he saw Kinn, laughing and moving strangely, raising his arms and then lowering them to the rhythm of the music like a weirdo, Porsche snorted, and suddenly, even though the music was as loud as the speakers permitted and despite Kinn’s gaze being on the crowd, as if Porsche’s laugh had been a siren call, Kinn’s eyes snapped to him.

Porsche held in a gasp, he froze on the spot, it was silly, really, the way the music and everyone around seemed to fade, like it was only the two of them and no one else.

“Go to him.” Porsche startled, he broke eye contact and turned his head to Yok, “C’mon, go to your boy.”

He began shaking his head, “He’s not my–” a firm hand on his hip said otherwise. He instantly shut up, Yok smiled complicity and wiggled her eyebrows, her eyes moving from the man holding him by the waist and then to Porsche. 

And as easily as that, Porsche was whisked towards the dance floor with Kinn stuck to his side, and his hand manhandling his body into dancing. Everyone screamed louder as the strange couple began dancing like awkwards teenagers in the middle of the human circle formed around them.

Porsche could hear everyone, he could see everyone, but for some reason, he didn’t understand the words being shouted, he couldn’t make up the features nor who was who, maybe he was more drunk than he had thought, but for some strange reason, despite the blur surrounding everything, he could see Kinn’s smile and eyes clearer than ever.

*Fuck.* He thought *Why?* He didn't know, his thinking was muted but he knew that if he continued like this, something dangerous would happen.

*Fuck.*

Porsche took a few steps back, getting out of the circle and stumbling against the wall. He turned around and opened the door, inhaling deeply trying to calm his beating heart, he had been dancing and partying too hard, there was no other reason why it kept skipping a beat.

“Porsche!” There was a voice behind him, he knew whose voice was it. 

Porsche kept walking, aimlessly ordering his shaky drunk legs to continue moving until he almost fell flat on his face, only then, he sat down, he could taste the salt in the air, he raised his head and observed the waves and sun.

“Porsche…” He didn’t say anything, but he could feel him taking a seat next to him, he wanted to laugh at him, he wanted to tease him, to throw a joke about a rich mafia heir sitting on a dirty floor next to the man he was supposed to kill.

Instead he said nothing.

“It’s pretty,” Kinn said, Porsche nodded. “Are you too drunk? Do you want me to call Pete?” Porsche snorted, remembering a passed out Pete on the floor.

“Nah, let him be,” Porsche turned to him and smiled, “What are you thinking?”

Kinn smiled, it didn’t reach his eyes, “Has anyone ever told you that… when you’re drunk, You’re so…”

“So what?” Porsche leaned on his shoulder, fuck maybe he really was drunk. “So making me wanna kick you.” He giggled and playfully hit Kinn. 

“When was the last time you were this happy?” Porsche’s feet childishly wiggled, Kinn didn’t want to think of it as charming, “Seconds ago.” The mafia heir shook his head and looked at the sky, he didn’t know if he wanted to hit Porsche or….

“And you?” He questioned, “Are you happy?” Kinn didn’t look at him, but even with his side profile Porsche could make out the sadness on his face.

“Mmmm…” He took some time to answer, “Do you know what Vegas sent me? Why did I get so mad? Why did I trash the room?”

“Do you want to tell me?” Kinn turned to look at him, his visage was serious, forgotten was the easy going chatter from before, “There were a lot of videos…” He answered, “Pictures, screenshots of messages…”

Porsche frowned, “What are you…” and then stopped when he realized what exactly Kinn was referring to. “Some were more explicit than the others, some were…” Porsche didn’t know what to say. “The thing is… that they were together way longer than I thought,” He laughed, there was a self deprecating tone in his voice, “I was so fucking stupid.”

“You were in love.”

“And that’s why it’s not going to happen again.” Porsche looked at his feet. “ever.” But the instant those words fell from his lips Kinn wanted to punch himself, he glanced at Porsche, his supposed fiancé and wondered if he had been too hard. “Thank you,” Kinn didn’t know why, but he wanted Porsche to forget what he had said,  divert his attention, and beg him to stay by his side, “Thank you for doing this for me, I know I haven't been the best…”  the best what? Should he say friend? Fiancé? Frenemy? “I just haven't been the best.”

Porsche laughed, he touched his hand, “Don’t worry about it, as I said it’s part of your charm.”

Kinn couldn’t stop looking at him, had Porsche always been this understanding? This charming? This… tempting? A voice inside of him kept screaming, reproaching him, berating him, Why couldn’t you fall in love with Porsche instead ? Why were you so stupid? Why couldn't Porsche have been the first?

And with every dark thought, with every doubt and self depreciation, there was Porsche, with his bright smiles, hyperactive personality and teasing words, Porsche with his sinful curves and pretty eyes.

Porsche

Kinn, who couldn’t keep his eyes off the boy, began approaching him, his sharp gaze looked at the sinful full pink lips in front of him, wanting to devour them, to make him forget, to make them his, with only inches apart and eyes closed, Kinn kissed the back of Porsche’s hand, he snapped his eyes open and retreated back, watching Porsche’s fingers protecting his lips.

“I know you’re drunk,” His voice wasn’t the friendly tone he was so used to, “And because I know that, I’m not going to get mad over this.” He got up, “But I’m not someone you can use just because you’re heartbroken.” And he walked back to the bar, leaving Kinn alone.

Kinn remembered Tawan said once, “You are nothing but a coward,” and he couldn’t help but agree.

Chapter Text

Porsche was walking at the edge of the bay, Porchay at his side, they were playing with the sand and kicking the waves every time they came close to them. The older boy kept laughing, he ruffled Chay’s hair and carried him over the water, dumping him, and making him scream in surprise and squeak in delight.

As Chay swam around with his Hia following close, the boy disappeared under the water, his toes being the last thing Porsche saw, giving away his position below the sea.

“Chay! Don’t go too deep!” He screamed, the water came to his chin, but he was still floating around, waiting for Porchay to come up. “Chay?” He looked around, he squinted his eyes blinded by the light against the ocean. “Chay?” He whispered horrified, he felt his pulse gallop inside his ribcage, he could hear the sound of the water hitting the rocks, the seagulls’ chirping as they flew above the ocean and the hotness of the sun burning his cheekbones.

“Chay!” As he screamed his leg was pulled from under him. He tried to shout but promptly choked, and began asphyxiating as he was dragged under. He looked around, his eyes started to sting and his lungs to burn.

He wanted to locate Chay, he wanted to see if he was okay, if he was hurt, if he needed him, his Chay, his nong, but even when he kept looking around he could only see the darkness surrounding him.

*Chay* He desperately thought, *Chay* 

But the grip in his ankle grew stronger, he looked down at the dark figure, obscured by the shadow surrounding the sea. The only thing he could see were small eyes filled with hate focused on him. Porsche instantly knew whose gaze that was, he opened his mouth, even when he felt the water overflowing his insides and as little bubbles came out thanks to the little oxygen he had left, he began mouthing the name…

“Porsche!” He fell off the chair, hard. “Sir! Are you okay?” Pete kneeled, he touched his face, his skin was clammy with sweat and his cheeks were flushed. “Sir? Do you want to postpone the departure?”

“I–” Porsche stood up and shook his head, “No, that won’t be…” He stared at the photo album on the table, Pete, who was at his side, frowned and eyed it, it was the Chai Son family album, when his master had asked him to get it he didn’t imagine this would be his reaction.

“Sir…?” But Porsche kept looking at it, his expression was thoughtful, almost analytic, “How curious…”

Pete raised an eyebrow, “What is…?” He looked at the photo, there it was, Porsche as a little kid, he had a serious expression on his face. Behind him were his parents, his mother’s hand was on his shoulder, she was looking at him with fondness, while his father was looking directly at the camera with seriousness.

“Nothing,” He finally said, “Just… give me a moment, let me go change my clothes.” Pete nodded, “Sure.” His master smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, he turned around and walked out the room. Pete stood there, then turned the album’s pages, noting nothing out of the ordinary, those were just family photos with a little Porsche in his childhood to his teenage years, they were only vacation photos and trips to foreign countries, everything a rich family was able to do. 

Pete raised an eyebrow and looked intensely at the album.

What could have made him have such a strong reaction?

While Pete was busy trying to figure out what Porsche could have seen, he came back with fresh clothes, a thin blue shirt with the first buttons down and dark jeans bootcut style that accentuated his waist and perky butt. 

He sighed, “Okay, let’s go.” Pete gave one last gaze at the photo book and then nodded, following Porsche from behind.

Pete took the driver’s seat while Porsche got on the backseat. He was not his usual cheerful self, he looked serious, there was almost a hint of bitterness in his eyes, it was almost as if he were a different person. 

Pete had been with him since Porsche had gotten engaged to Kinn. He had seen Porsche’s brazen and mercurial personality, the way he begged, almost demanded Kinn’s attention. How he hatefully tried to bully Tawan and harass Kinn at every opportunity he had, how he took care of his appearance and practically kissed the ground his fiancé walked on.

Everything Porsche once was, superfluous, antagonistic and arrogant, all of that villain-like personality that Pete had known for months… forgotten, gone like the wind, buried along  his past bad dues, only to welcome a totally different person.

Someone Pete couldn’t predict, someone who attracted attention while raising doubts just as easily and someone whom Kinn… seemed to finally notice. And Pete… well… he was going to tell Kinn, it was his job, but a lot had happened since Tawan… and Porsche was good for Kinn, so good, if he told him he noticed something different he would become suspicious. Pete knew Kinn, he had been by his side since his teenage years and knew the way he thought, the machinations he paranoidly build and all the overthinking that head went through when there was something Kinn didn’t know. And at this moment, Pete didn’t want to plant the seed of suspicion, Kinn did not need another betrayal, Pete knew Porsche was not a traitor, but Kinn didn’t, and even though Pete worked for Kinn, he was still Porsche’s bodyguard, Pete was going to make sure he’d come out unscathed.

“Sir?”

“Drop the honorific, man.” Pete smiled, he looked at him through the rearview, “We are here, Porsche.”  He smiled and got out of the car before Pete could open his door.  He walked towards the entrance and was about to knock when the doors opened.

There, at the gate, was Kinn, he didn’t have a smile but he wasn’t frowning either, “You’re late.” He tapped his watch twice, Porsche rolled his eyes and punched him in the arm, “Hello to you too, asshole.”

Kinn finally laughed, a full on belly laugh that showed the paleness of his neck, he threw a heavy arm around his shoulders and manhandled him into the mansion. “How’s your arm?” 

They both looked at his fingers, he wiggled them playfully, “‘It’s good, nothing to worry about.” Porsche snorted, “Oh, really?” He shrugged Kinn’s arm off and turned around, “Then you don’t need me anymore, right?”

Kinn intercepted him, holding his arm in an iron grip and dragging him back towards his body until he almost crashed against the other’s chest, “Not so fast, you’re already here.”

Porsche pushed him away with a punch to his stomach. “Ooof–”

“You’re such a manchild, god,” Porsche entered the hall connected to the dining room and threw himself on the sofa, softly bouncing on it. 

Kinn frowned, “What are you doing?” Porsche, with a raised eyebrow, stared at him, “I’ll hang around, you go do your things.” 

The mafia boss’ frown deepened as he continued eying Porsche, “Are you not coming to my room?” 

Now it was the younger boy’s turn to frown.

He didn’t want to invade Kinn’s personal space more than necessary, after his break up with Tawan and their almost kiss that they-pretended-never-happened, Porsche assumed Kinn wanted some time alone.

It seemed he was wrong, uh.

“Do you want me there?” Kinn snorted, “Since when do you respect what I want?”

Porsche smiled, “Point taken.” He got up from the sofa and walked towards Kinn’s room, the latter hot on his heels. 

After they entered, Kinn settled on his pretentious chair that Porsche liked to call the asshole’s  throne, Porsche decided to take the bed.  

On his side, with his hand supporting his head, Porsche studied Kinn. He looked healthy, much better than the last time he saw him, he wasn’t as pale anymore but there were still dark marks under his eyes that gave away his sleepless nights.

“How are you feeling?” 

Kinn made a face that only a man who didn’t know how to talk about feelings could do, a Leo, Chay would say. “Fine,” He croaked out, and then looked down at the papers in his hand.

Porsche huffed, “Riiiight.” He looked at the ceiling, then at the stain at the far end, in one of the corners.

Porsche squinted as he analyzed the shade of it, *Is that blood?* he asked himself after a while.

Sometimes he forgot Kinn was an actual mafia boss. He had to admit, he did a goddamn good job at keeping it secret, but also not really, if one knew where to look at, the signs of his illegal status became obvious; from the shit ton of bodyguards barricading the house, to the obvious signs of trauma in Tankhun and Kinn’s psyche.

Porsche got up on his feet and began walking around trying to entertain himself while Kinn worked.

*This is so fucking boring.*

After a while of doing absolutely nothing, Porsche took the pencil resting on one of the tables, he walked towards Kinn and sat across him, Kinn’s eye twitched but otherwise didn’t acknowledge him further. 

The younger boy huffed and took a sheet of paper, it didn’t look important, but even if it was Porsche didn’t care. He then, took a pencil and began drawing something on it, sometimes his tongue peeked from his white teeth. Kinn eyed him from time to time, he tried to look at what Porsche was doing but when the other realized his peeking, he frowned and scooted away from him.

“Don’t look,” He snapped. Kinn’s eyebrows furrowed, “You’re drawing on a contract.” Porsche shrugged, if it was really that important, Kinn would’ve told him so earlier, he ignored him and continued. After a while, Kinn felt something hit him in the forehead, he looked up at Porsche, his eyes narrowing, he took the crumbled piece of paper and looked at the drawing there.

“Ha,” He deadpanned, “Fucking ha, Porsche.” 

There on the paper was a stick figure with the only recognizable trait being a pair of eyebrows that basically covered 80% of the face. 

“Did you really want me to come here only to see you work?” Porsche groaned, “If we don’t do something else, I’m going to continue destroying your files.” The corners of Kinn’s lips raised, he didn’t know why but something in that sentence made him feel warm inside. Maybe it was because Porsche had used “ We ” instead of “ I ” or maybe it was because Kinn was still vulnerable to any form of camaraderie after Tawan’s disaster, whatever it was, he tried not to think too hard about it.

He glanced at the papers in his hand, they were important but not urgent, his eyes moved from them to the hyperactive boy in front of him, his penetrating gaze traveled from the clavicles to the slim waist and long toned legs. 

Kinn swallowed and shook his head.

If he was starting to see Porsche that way, he really needed to get laid.

“Alright,” He stated, Porsche perked up. “What do you wanna do?” 

*What do I want to do?* He asked himself, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

“Maybe Tankh–”

“No,” Kinn interrupted. He was already spending too much time with his older brother, he was about to go crazy if he kept on interacting with him. Besides, why did Porsche want to be with Tankhun? Kinn was there, was he not enough? 

He frowned, Kinn raised his chin, “I mean… he’s busy right now.” Porsche squinted, “He is?”

“Let’s not talk about him,” Kinn stood up and walked around for a while, then he began moving some of the papers on his desk without purpose.

*What is he doing?* thought Porsche.

*What am I doing?* Asked Kinn.

“Let’s go… somewhere.” Porsche crossed his arms unimpressed. “Have I ever given you a tour around the house?”

*Do you call this a house?* He thought outrageously, *This is a fucking mansion.*

“Now that you say it, no, your hospitality has always been kind of shitty,” He innocently smiled at Kinn while fluttering his lashes. Kinn clicked his tongue and opened the door, “Right.” 

The guards outside the room immediately straightened. Porsche recognised the one with the ponytail, he had seen him following him around Kinn like a lost child before.  “Ken, Big,” Kinn nodded at them, “You can take a break, don’t follow me, I'll be in the house.”

The one Porsche had decided to call Squidward, frowned and took a step forward, “But, Mister Kinn…” He closed his mouth when the other raised a hand, “Enough, nothing is going to happen.” Squidward eyed Porsche suspiciously. Kinn snorted, ”Porsche can’t do anything to me.” 

Porsche turned towards him with a raised eyebrow, “Excuse me?” He felt offended, scandalized even.

Did Kinn really think Porsche was incapable? That he was a pathetic twink with no strength or balls?

Kinn smiled and towered over him, their heights didn’t really differ, but their physiques were an extreme contrast with one another. whereas Kinn’s muscles could be easily seen even with his clothes on, Porsche’s  were practically non-existent.

He raised his chin, his sharp eyes looking at the man in front of him from head to toe with an unimpressed visage, “Bring it on, old man.” Kinn’s face betrayed how entertaining he was finding this.

“What, you want to fight me? Me ?” Porsche snorted, “What, Like it’s hard?” Kinn laughed and began walking, “Okay, but when I finish with you, don’t go crying to your mommy.”

Porsche sneered from behind, “I will not be the one crying at the end.”

They left a sputtering Big behind them, Pete was somewhere in the house so when they got to the dojo no one was really around. Porsche passed his eyes through the clean floors and mats with an unimpressed gaze, he shouldn’t have expected less, really. He had been accustomed all his life to fighting in dirty illegal ring boxes and dirty alleyways, this right here was a joke to his own dignity as a street fighter.

“Come on, pretty boy,” Kinn sneered. fForhis part he raised one eyebrow and took off his shoes before stepping into the mat, “Are you sure you’re going to be okay with that thing in your arm.” Kinn eyed said thing and moved his shoulder, “You should be more worried about yourself.” And took a step, standing close to Porsche.

The younger boy eyed Kinn’s form, Porsche knew it had been careless of him to have challenged Kinn. Because although the latter was a rich boy, he was also a mob boss, a mob boss with currently more muscles and strength than him. A mafia lord that if he so wanted to, could put a bullet right between his eyes if Porsche did so much as to upset him.

But looking at him right now, with his eyebrow cocked, a lazy smile on his face and that pretty pale skin of his chest displayed without a worry in the world, Porsche knew he had to teach him a lesson. Because if there was something Porsche enjoyed more than to feel his body move with exertion, it was to kick rich assholes’ asses into the next week.

Yes, Kinn was currently stronger. Yes, he was a crime lord. But Porsche was a weapon, a fighter, his body was the tool he had used all his life to survive in the hostile environment he had been thrown in.

He was older and he had experience.

Kinn raised his chin, his smile never strayed from his face, he cocked a finger, calling for Porsche to advance.

Porsche smirked and shook his head, taking the same stance as Kinn, with his chin raised. The Theerapanyakun chuckled but began moving, circling Porsche as if he was a panther.

The other boy couldn’t help it, he shuddered, not because he was afraid, not because he couldn’t handle it. But because after so many weeks of being treated like a useless young master by so many people, he could finally feel the fire running through his veins and settling directly into his legs, arms and torso.

*Stupid Kinn.* He thought pityingly.

Because he had an advantage Kinn hadn’t accounted for. 

Watching the pale boy from the corner of his eye, he saw movement, one of Kinn’s large hands was coming directly at him. Porsche smiled.

He arched his back, almost bending himself in half, avoiding the hand and taking his neck with his thighs in a vice grip, successfully choking the mafia boss.

“What the f–!” Kinn gasped. Porsche, who was still holding Kinn between his legs, drove his weight forward, driving Kinn’s face directly onto the floor. “Oww!” He screamed. 

Porsche let him go and stood up, offering one of his hands, his face wasn’t even sweating, instead, he had a bright cheshire smirk on. “Do you yield?” Kinn sat down on the floor, he was still gasping, his healthy hand was rubbing his neck. He gazed at the hand with narrowed eyes, “You...” he spat and gripped the other’s fingers with all his might, pulling forward, directing Porsche to the mat.

Before his side hit the floor, Porsche rolled onto himself cat-like and landed with one knee on the mat and the other bent, “That all you’ve got?”

Kinn growled, he bent his knees and drove his arm back, his hand was in a tight fist. Porsche eyed the motion and ran towards him, the mafia lord instantly stopped, he was trying to figure out what Porsche was trying to do; when the lighter man stepped on one of Kinn bent knees, using it to lever himself enough to get at Kinn’s face and knee him directly on the nose. 

“Fuck!” He screamed, once more falling onto the mat with a dry thud and holding his nose with angry, teary eyes, “Porsche, what the hell!?”

Porsche clicked his tongue, “Didn’t you say I was going to be the one crying?” he declared, unimpressed. Kinn growled, “Okay, that’s it.” He got up, his stance more serious than before, with one of his feet forward, and one of his hands in front of his chest, in a fist. 

The tanned boy raised one eyebrow seemingly impressed and whistled, it looked like Kinn favored Taekwondo and Judo of all martial arts but it was okay. Porsche himself was familiarized with them, he knew that in his current body those fighting styles would be wasted, he still didn’t have a great stamina, but with his skinny frame, long legs and flexibility, he could actually have some advantage, it also didn’t hurt that Kinn was totally underestimating him.

He needed to use his flexibility and weight in his favor, and although Taekwondo and Judo could be used for this, they weren't enough to take Kinn down, no, instead, he knew he needed to use Kinn’s own strength to win this match.

Both of them ran at the same time, meeting in the middle. Kinn threw a punch towards Porsche’s stomach only to be meet with empty hair when the tanned boy jumped and once more got a hold of his neck, turned in the air, his torso dancing at the tempo of his body, his strong, slim legs gripping Kinn’s every time his body did another somersault, making Kinn lose his own equilibrium and sending him back on his ass.

Kinn looked at the ceiling, his limbs askew, his body short of breath, his skin that was pale before was now stained in a deep red, he looked at Porsche, at his cocky smile and disarrayed hair and suddenly felt enlightened. As if he had just discovered something, he kept on looking at him without blinking trying to discern what exactly he was feeling, when Porsche just cheekily smiled and ran towards him.

For a minute, he asked himself if there was something wrong with him, he knew he should feel some kind of danger when he watched Porsche getting closer to him, then why… He rolled just in time for Porsche’s kick to meet with the mat.

“Looks like you aren’t completely useless,” Kinn stated, throwing a kick that finally connected with Porsche’s middle. He heaved and turned, throwing a punch that Kinn easily avoided, “I should be the one saying that, what with me kicking your ass.”

Kinn cursed and dodged Porsche’s strange acrobatics before kicking him, successfully getting him away from him, “Just wait until I get out of this cast.”

Porsche chuckled, turning his head and taking Kinn’s wrist, pulling him towards him, close enough for them to share the same air, “Don’t be delusional, even after the cast I could easily beat your ass.” Kinn’s heart skipped a beat, he didn’t know if it was because of the fight or because of Porsche’s body heat against his own.

“Shit.” Porsche’s legs took a hold of his neck, strangling him once again. Kinn’s healthy hand desperately tried to dislodge Porsche’s legs from his body, unintentionally touching his inner thighs, Kinn’s brain stopped working for a minute, he uselessly conjured their almost kiss at the bay. “Do you yield?” he heard Porsche ask, instead of answering his hands continued groping, even though he was still gasping for air, a little lower part of him began waking up.

Kinn cursed.

He was a mafia boss, he enjoyed inflicting pain upon others, not the other way around. He enjoyed taking control in his relationships and he liked his partners submissive and pliable. Porsche was simply not it, he was not submissive, he was mouthy and stubborn, pretty but abrasive, bossy and irreverent. 

Porsche was everything he didn’t want, but at the same time, he was also someone that he yearned for, god, he hated him so much for making him feel like this.

He wasn’t used to being unable to control his own emotions and the people surrounding him. He wasn’t used to a person like Porsche, who did and said everything he wanted without worrying about consequences, who was constantly undermining and insulting him; but at the same time treating him like a person and not a mob leader without feelings.  Porsche, who stubbornly followed him until his father accepted his marriage proposal, only for him to ignore him afterwards. It was him, who had consoled him after Tawan, and hadn’t mocked him for his weakness.

It had been Porsche, alwasy Porsche.

“Mister Kinn!” Big aggressively opened the doors and manhandled Porsche away from Kinn. “Boss! Boss! Are you alright?” Big slapped Kinn’s face. He looked like he was in a comatose state, his eyes were wide open and unfocused, looking only at the ceiling with flushed skin.

“Oh shiiiiiiit,” He mouthed breathlessly. 

“Mister Kinn!” Big frowned at Porsche, his hand went to the gun he had at his waist threateningly, “You!” Pete entered the dojo and took hold of Big’s arm before he could withdraw his weapon, “The hell are you doing?!”

Big pulled his arm and pointed at Kinn, who was still on the floor, “Look at what he did to Boss Kinn.” Pete frowned and looked at the mafia boss, he then looked at Porsche and bit his lip, “I see… it’s better if we leave them alone.” 

Big looked at him incredulously. “What in the fuck–” he cut himself off and followed Pete’s gaze, instantly flushing when he noticed it, “Right.” He marched to the doors and didn’t look back again. Porsche frowned, “What’s up with him?” 

Pete shook his head and left the room. At last, Kinn stood up and showed Porsche his back, it looked like he was fixing something, moving his hands in front of him, the younger boy could see the redness on the back of his neck.

“Where are you going?!” Porsche screamed after him when he began walking. “Shower,” Kinn muttered in a low voice.

“Uh?” Kinn didn’t stop to face him. “I guess, I’m leaving?” he said to himself and went to look for Pete.

The way back home passed in a blur, Porsche’s body felt pleasantly tired, every time he moved his joints they hurt and he was pretty sure his body was covered in bruises but it was a familiar and nostalgic feeling. Porsche wouldn’t be adverse to a repeat and it looked like Kinn wouldn't either.

He sighed and got out of the car, his guards opened the gates for him, when he was crossing the mansion the “ ping ” of his cellphone told him he had a new message.

Hey! shithead, this is my new cellphone number

-Unknown

Porsche smirked and typed.

Do I know U???

Ha, ha, how funny

-Unknown

Porsche was about to answer when another message came, it was a photo, he tapped on it and immediately choked.

It was a picture of two bushy eyebrows, the photo was cropped so that neither the forehead nor the eyes could be seen.

Why is Drake Sattabut texting me??

Porsche, I swear to god

-Unknown 

Porsche let out a big laugh and saved the contact.

See you later, worm eyebrows

Porsche waited for a moment but Kinn didn’t send another message. He pocketed his phone and advanced towards the house, stopping at the living room where his mother was sitting quietly on the sofa knitting.

“Hello, Mother.” Porsche whispered.

“Dear!” His mother smiled, walking towards him and patting him on the arm, “How is Kinn?”

Porsche gently sidestepped her and walked towards the other end of the living room, “He’s okay.” Her mother nodded, “I’m glad to hear it, let’s hope the wedding date is settled before something else happens.” She sat down again and took his knitting tools, Porsche frowned.

*Is that what you care about?* Porsche internally thought, *Why haven’t you asked how am I? Why did you accept Kinn and Porsche’s engagement knowing he comes from a mafia family?*

He didn’t doubt that Porsche’s family knew about their background. Korn talked with too much familiarity about his parents, and they didn’t seem alienated from the Theerapanyakuns. Besides, he didn’t doubt that rich socialités knew about each other’s dirty laundry.

The boy narrowed his eyes, he didn’t take his gaze off the woman in front of him. After a while in the same position, he went up to his room and walked directly to the forgotten photo album, turning page after page.

 
Feeling something ugly and bitter settle in the pitch of his stomach he continued staring at the album, *isn’t it funny…* he stopped at the oldest photo he could find, he was looking at the camera, his face was serious despite the cake in front of him with a single candle on it betraying his age; seven years old, *That there is not a single photo of your pregnancy, mother?*

Chapter Text

When he was a child Porsche yearned for a lot of things. He yearned for security, he yearned for love and understanding, he yearned for stability, and he yearned for something that he could call his.

“Here you have, sir.” Porsche pressed his lips together in a firm line, he looked at the maid in front of him and nodded, giving her a strained smile and answering a quiet thank you. His father was in front of him reading the newspaper and his mother was giggling softly while looking at her cellphone. Porsche himself was seated on the far end of the table, looking at both his parents with a peculiar feeling of emptiness. He moved his fork around the finely cut fruit, since he had sat down he hadn’t touched any of the food in front of him.

“We can prepare something else if this is not to your liking, sir,” the servant next to him said, startling him, making him lose his grasp on the fork. It fell from his fingers, crashing  against the floor, catching both of his parent’s attention.

“What is it, love? Aren’t you hungry?” Porsche didn’t know why but he wasn’t in the mood to talk, he wasn’t in the mood to do anything really. 

“I need to go, it’s getting late.” His father frowned, looking at him for the first time that day, “it’s only 6 o’clock…” 

“Yeah, no, I– I need to do something, I–” he bowed to his parents and got out of the room, almost crashing against the door when he opened it.

“Porsche?” Pete fell into step beside him, “are you okay? If you need me to–” Porsche shook his head and just continued walking hurriedly towards the limo, “Just take me to school.”

“But you–”

Porsche didn’t hear anything more, he fell those clean white walls crumbling into him, asphyxiating him, he felt the fancy clothes he was wearing restraining him, choking him, even looking at himself through the tinted windows of the limo made him feel faint, alienated, isolated, as if everyone and everything surrounding him was just existing inside his head, his own imagination. As if he weren’t Porsche anymore and he was just one more glitch in the universe to laugh at and make a complete fool of. He didn’t even feel the limousine moving or Pete’s worried voice calling him, he was too preoccupied by his own misery to be aware of how out of character he was acting.

*Would it even matter?* he asked himself with a sense of dread.

Was this even real? Was his original life even real? Was everything he had worked for, lost just because of a novel? Or was he in another sick book he didn't know about? Acting just like another character, following what the author wanted and not his own wishes.

Porsche gagged, Pete tried to call him again.

He was terrified, it made him feel nauseous.

Was everything real? Was life even worth living if at the end he didn’t know if all of this existed? Were all of Porsche’s dreams and efforts nothing?

Porsche had tried to avoid thinking about it but, if he was here right now, who said that couldn’t be taken away from him again? what if he got shot? or mugged and kidnapped now that he was the son of a rich family?

Porsche wanted to puke again.

Because everything was so ironic, if there was a god out there, it surely would have looked at Porsche’s face and said “ fuck you ” while kicking him in the balls into another universe, because this? This right now was not his life. It wasn’t even his face. He didn’t know anyone here and he had nothing, nothing again. His family was rich but he wasn’t that Porsche, he was nothing, he had always been nothing; since his first life, when he thought he could work hard to own his own life to now,  having  more than he had ever dreamt of, just to realize nothing was his again. His own mother didn’t even have a fucking picture of her while she was pregnant and there wasn’t any photo of him being a baby, and Porsche was, terrified, terrified , to think too much into it, of the implications of it.

Were they even his family? What was the purpose of him being sent here? What had happened to his life? His real life, with his real friend and his real things? What happened to him? Was he really him or was he another Porsche? Were there more Porsches? And, if it were to happen, if he died again, would another Porsche from another universe fill his position? Did that mean life was worthless? Were people just replaceable? 

Porsche bit his lips, drawing a little drop of blood that he did not notice.

Was he worthless then? Was everyone worthless? Did he even want to live anymore? Why bother if everything was already written on paper?

“Porsche!” Startled, he looked at Pete, the latter was looking at him with worried eyes, “Porsche are you okay?” He nodded and looked at the window, they were in front of the school, he was about to open the door when Pete called him again, “Porsche if you are not feeling wel–”

“I’m perfectly fine.” He got out of the car, walking absentmindedly towards the school gate. Everything around him seemed like a blur, he looked at the people surrounding him but he couldn’t differentiate their faces, everyone was fuzzy, he couldn’t even answer which colors were which, he wasn’t even sure where his classroom was or what numbers were.

What was his name? Where was he? Was he even here?

Everything was useless, he was useless.

He didn’t want to be here…

“Porsche,” a deep and serious voice called him. He felt a light touch on his shoulder and when he looked, he couldn’t differentiate who it was.

Who was this person? He knew him, he knew him, he knew him…

“God, Porsche? Are you feeling alright?”

He couldn't understand, who was he? What was he saying? Why was he touching him? Why couldn’t he understand anything?

“Porsche…”

Porsche looked at him, at his eyes, and wanted to cry. Because there was someone asking him something that sounded important and he couldn't answer, he wasn’t able to answer something he couldn’t understand, it was impossible to answer something he didn’t know. Wasn’t it?

“Porsche, I’m taking you to the infirmary, okay?” That person was pushing him somewhere, but Porsche didn’t want to move. If he moved everything would end, he didn’t want it to end again, he didn’t want to be another Porsche, he wanted to be him! Just him, Porsche, Porsche, Porsche. “Porsche, I…” and the next thing he felt was a rush, his feet leaving the ground and the feeling of being weightless.

“Are you even eating? You are so fucking light. Porsche, are you even listening? Pete that useless…” 

Porsche was floating, he was flying aimlessly in dark matter, there wasn’t a beginning and there wasn’t an end, there just was.

And then, there wasn’t, because someone had just thrown ice cold water at his face.

“What the fuck?!” He shouted enraged and confused, he glared at the perpetrator, “Kinn, what the hell is wrong with you?!”

“Lots of things. Now, care to share what the hell is wrong with you?” Porsche frowned, he tried to remember what had happened since morning but he couldn’t.

“I–” he looked around, “Am I in the school?” Kinn’s frown seemed to subside, he observed Porsche with worry that quickly changed into a blank face, “Are you telling me you didn’t know you were at school?”

“I just–” Porsche didn’t know what to say. He tried to remember what he was thinking about, feeling the memory just around the corner. He was just short of grasping it when a sense of grief and panic began overtaking him. “Get out,” He croaked, hundreds, thousands of thoughts were circling his head, he wanted to scream…

“Porsche…”

“Get out, I don’t want to see you right now,” He didn’t want to break, not in front of Kinn, not in front of anyone.  He was a grown man, crying was pathetic. He was becoming pathetic.

“Did something happen?” He asked, his voice was even, “Is it your family? Are they in trouble? Are you in trouble?”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone? Imagine I’m not here, you are so good at doing it, it shouldn’t be hard.” Kinn frowned, “I– was it something I did? Porsche, I…” He was getting closer, and with every step, Porsche’s tears threatened to overflow, “God, leave me alone. why can’t you just…” Porsche looked around, spotting a few packages of medicine and began throwing them at Kinn.

“Shit–!”

“Get the fuck out!” Porsche continued, not even looking at what he was grasping. “Porsche for god’s sake!” Without anything near him to throw anymore, and with Porsche looking frantically around to spot something new, Kinn threw himself forward, falling on Porsche and taking his wrists, forcing them against the bed, the slimmer male trashed around trying to escape in vain.

“Let go!” He screamed, “I swear to god, If you don’t let me go I’m gonna…”

“You are going to what?” Kinn snapped, “Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Have you even eaten recently? Or slept? What happened to you? Talk to me!”

Porsche, who was still trying to release himself from  Kinn’s grasp, snapped back, “Why should I?”

“Because I’m your bloody fiancé!”

“Well, maybe I don’t want you to be my financé anymore!” Kinn’s eyes widened, he opened his mouth and closed it, finally, after a moment he answered, “You don’t mean that, don’t say that…” Porsche frowned, Kinn wasn’t holding him as hard anymore but Porsche didn’t try to escape, “I don’t… I just–”

“Was this why you were like this? Because you don’t want to marry me anymore?” Porsche considered himself as someone brave and fearless, but right now, he couldn’t bring himself to look Kinn in the eyes, “I don’t know…” He said with a quiet voice, “I don’t know anything anymore…”  The mafia heir looked at Porsche, at his tired but beautiful face, at his fierce but soft personality, at his transparent but harsh exterior and asked himself what life would be like if he let Porsche go.

He realized he didn’t like what he saw.

Kinn released his wrists, and fell on the bed, beside him. “Wha–”

“You need to sleep,” he answered, and wove his arms around Porsche’s waist, forcing him against his broad chest and effectively encasing him, “You are just saying nonsense.”

Porsche began fighting and kicking him, “You fucking asshole, didn’t you hear–”

“Sleep, then talk.” His arms entrapped him harder. Porsche huffed, he wanted to continue antagonizing him, but his eyelids felt incredibly heavy and Kinn’s cologne smelled really well.

*Just for a few minutes…*  and the last thing he saw was Kinn’s eyes watching him carefully.

Next time he opened his eyes, he blinked once, twice, his eyes were crusty, and he had drooled a little on the white shirt in front of him.

Porsche blinked again.

*Wait, shirt?* 

He looked up to see Kinn watching him attentively, he looked amused, the corner of his mouth pulling up, almost forming a half smile.

“Slept well?” He asked and eyed for a moment the patch of saliva. Porsche did not flush, “Shut up,” he muttered, still not moving from his position near Kinn.

He felt appalled at himself, at his behavior, he was a grown ass man for fuck’s sake, why would he have a breakdown at his age? He needed to be better than this.

He began righting himself, making sure there was some distance from Kinn. “What are you doing?” He asked, sitting on the infirmary’s bed. “Going to class?” He said sarcastically. Kinn huffed and shook his head, “It ended minutes ago.” Porsche’s face snapped back at him, incredulous, “You’re shitting me, why hasn’t Pete looked for me then?” 

Kinn’s face twitched for a moment and then settled, “We were talking about school, what does Pete have anything to do with this?” He asked in an annoyed tone.

“He’s my bodyguard!” 

“You don’t need him right now! You’re going to my house!” Porsche frowned, he looked at the stapler on the desk, tempted to throw it at Kinn. “Porsche…” Kinn warned, as if knowing what Porsche was thinking about.

“Why do I need to go to your house?” Kinn smirked and eyed his still encased arm, Porsche eyed it flabbergasted, “You joking right? I might have been out of it but I still remember someone jumping on me and holding me down perfectly well.” 

Kinn’s ears turned red, his imagination suddenly running wild.

“It hasn’t healed!” 

“It fucking has!”

“It hasn’t!”

“You literally used both arms to trap me!”

“It was a sudden surge of adrenaline!” 

Porsche fisted his hair, screaming louder, “Just how stupid do you think I am?”

Kinn got up from the bed, “Very stupid!”

“Oh, fuck off,” Porsche turned around, going for the door handle when an arm appeared from the corner of his eye, closing the door effectively. “Where the hell are you going?”

“Away from you!” Porsche used both arms, about to pull the door when a second arm appeared, “You are literally using both arms right now!” He said accusingly .

“I’m having an adrenaline rush right now!” 

“Why are you being so annoying today?” Porsche tried to open the door, using his weight to pull, making him get closer to Kinn, who began speaking beside his ear, “I’m just trying your approach.” Porsche gave up and patted around his pants until he could feel his cellphone, fishing it out.

“Who are you calling?!” Kinn went for the phone, Porsche just had the time to react and avoid him, “Pete!” He went through his contact list. “What do you need him for?! I’m here!.”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?!” 

“He’s not going to answer you.” Smug, Kinn eyed Porsche’s phone, the other male narrowed his eyes suspiciously, was this Kinn finally admitting Pete worked for him?

“And why not?” Porsche crossed his arms. “He just can’t,” Kinn raised his chin, as if daring Porsche to keep asking. “But why–“

“Just shut up! Let’s go to my house already!” Kinn went to the other side of the bed and shouldered Porsche’s backpack, the latter just realizing he was about to go out without his things.

Porsche squinted his eyes, “Where is your bag?” Kinn shrugged, “I asked someone to come pick it up.” 

“Who–“ 

“Come on.” Kinn opened the door, waiting for Porsche to pass first.

“I–“ he deflated, walking towards the door, he raised his arm to take his backpack back, Kinn side stepped him. “I got it, let’s go.”

Porsche huffed, incredulous, but still followed him right behind him. Kinn looked over his shoulder right at Porsche and tsked, annoyed.

“It’s strange to have you walk behind me.” He grabbed him by the arm and basically dragged him until he was next to him, both of them touching shoulders. 

“You’re being so annoying today.” Kinn shook his head, raised his good arm and slightly slapped him, “That’s my line.” 

“Right.” Porsche attempted to take back his backpack once again but Kinn intercepted him. And after he successfully avoided him, the mafia heir pinched him on his side. “Hey!” the slimmer male slapped away his hand, covering his side with his arm, “stop it!” 

“You stop it.”

“You stop it.”

“You–“ “Kinn.” Both boys froze. Porsche’s eyes immediately landed on Kinn’s face while the other continued walking forward as if he didn’t hear anything. 

“Kinn!” The voice screeched again after realizing they were being ignored.  The taller boy sighed and tightly closed his eyes before turning towards Tawan.

“What,” He snapped.

Tawan bit his lip and lowered his head, his hands were twitching in nervousness,  “Can I talk to you for a second?” He eyed Porsche, “Alone?” 

Porsche couldn’t look at any of them anymore. His heart rate that had become calm, raised again, he felt a cold chill pass all over his body, settling on his stomach and throat, stopping him from breathing, but it was okay, he didn’t need to, it wasn’t necessary he just was about to die. Porsche wasn’t Porsche and this one wasn’t his life. One day he was going to be killed by Kinn and Tawan, One day he was going to marry and have a good life. And maybe, if Porsche was lucky enough, he would go back to his real life, back to the debts, dirtiness and instability, back to the loneliness and the unfulfilling desire to be someone in life.

“I will just go.” Porsche turned around, about to walk away when a hand stopped him.

“Porsche.” Even to Porsche’s ears, Kinn’s voice sounded vulnerable. For a second Porsche asked himself if it was because of him or Tawan, but the answer was obvious even for him. 

“Give me my things.” Porsche moved his chin, signaling the backpack still hung over Kinn’s shoulder and extended his hand, waiting for Kinn to hand it over.

“Porsche.” 

He snorted. Didn’t Kinn know any other word? 

“Honestly.”  Porsche wasn’t really in the mood to be a mediator to Kinn’s love problems. He snatched his backpack with force and turned around walking towards the gate, he heard Kinn’s voice calling for him but he didn’t turn around.

He walked aimlessly around the campus until a message notification caught his attention. Porsche looked at his phone and attempted a smile when he saw Porchay’s name. 

He didn’t bother to message back, just directly called him. 

“Hia?” Porsche smirked and looked at his shoes, he began walking towards the bus station, “It’s me, are you working today?” 

He sat down, waiting for the bus. He wanted to go to the mall in which Porchay worked, maybe buy him an ice cream or walk him to his house. That kid was so scrawny, Porsche worried something bad would happen to him.

“Didn’t you read my message? Today is my free day.” Porsche, who was about to get on the bus, stopped.

“Oh,” He answered, taking some steps back and looking at the back of the bus, “oh.” He said again, sitting down and looking at nothing, he felt his eyes get wet but tried to ignore it.

“Hia, are you okay?” Porsche felt something heavy settle on his throat, he felt the first tear fall down his face.

“I don’t…” he stopped when he felt his voice crack, he felt ashamed, he didn’t know why he was reacting this way with a literal high schooler, this wasn’t the kind of person he was. “I think I’m going to–“

“Do you want to come to my house?” Porsche held his breath, “Yes.”  

“I’ll send you the address, I’ll be waiting for you.” Porsche hung up, looking at his chat with Porchay and clicking just when he received the google maps link.

He let out a long breath and jumped into the next bus he saw, he needed to get out of there.

He sat down and looked through the window while he tried to control the tears about to fall from his eyes. He looked at the trees, at the sky, at the people outside and felt so much envy of them.

There was something ugly and dense settling on his throat, threatening to come outside to scream at him and berate him; to hit and insult him there was a dark useless mass reflecting on the window, looking right at him, through him.

He saw himself and hated every part of it. His orbs lacked any reflection of life within them.

Porsche closed his eyes trying to ignore whatever he was feeling. When pictures of his old life began forming behind his eyelids. 

His old friends, his old house, his job, even his body…

Gone all of it.

He was nothing. He had nothing. All he did, every effort he put into his own survival, every trace of his existence, all of it destroyed.

Porsche absentmindedly got off the bus, walked towards Porchay’s house and stood right outside the door in contemplation. He didn’t want a child to look at him when he was like this.

Tempted to turn back, he was about to forgo all together his meeting with the boy when the door opened, Porchay smiled at him, but after looking properly at him once, twice, his smile ceased.

Porsche winced, he opened his mouth to… What? Apologize? Explain how he had lost everything and he was losing himself too? Would he even believe him? 

Porchay ushered him inside the house and urged him to sit on his old torn sofa, sitting next to him.  He didn’t say anything when Porsche began crying, he didn’t say anything when he began whimpering, not a word was passed  when Porsche began heaving. Porchay just stayed there, a warm presence against  Porsche’s hard cold body.

Chapter Text

Alarm, wake up, shower, eat, school, Kinn, Tawan?, house, eat, bed, sleep.

Alarm, wake up, shower, eat, school, PORCHAY!, Kinn, house, eat, Kinn?, bed, sleep.

Alarm, wake up, shower, eat, school, Porchay, house, eat, bed, sleep.

Alarm,wake up,shower,school,Porchay ugh Kinn,eat,bed,sleep

Alarmwake up,showerschoolPorchaybedsleep.

Alarmwake upschool,Porchaybed,sleep.

Alarmwake upschoolPor–bedsleep.

Alarmwakeupschoolsleep

Alarmwakeupsleep

Alarm? ... sleep

Sleep

Sleep

“Porsche!” The boy’s bloodshot eyes opened with the sound of heavy knocking, he looked at his alarm clock and groaned at the hour.

12:00 p.m 

“Porsche, you aren’t going to school again?” His “mother” asked him at the same time she tried to open the door. “Porsche, why have you locked the door?! Are you hiding something in there?”

He continued looking at the red shiny numbers on his alarm clock.

“Porsche! Answer me, I'm your mother and I deserve respect!” 

Are you though. He thought while rolling to his other side, tucking his arm behind his head.

“Porsche! I swear to god–” Some more voices were heard outside of the room, after a few minutes they stopped and silence followed. The boy let out a long hard breath and focused on something else, the wall in front of him, wasn’t it such a strange shade of white? Did white even have different shades? If they were different would they still be called white? What about–

“Porsche.” He startled, his whole body jumping inthe bed and rapidly turning around towards the voice, Pete looked at him with a calm gentle expression. “I’ve got your uniform.” He smiled while waving it, Porsche looked at it, his lips thinning into a hard line. “If you want to, of course.” He said, his smile dimming as his master shook his head and laid down, turning so Pete could only see his back.

“Porsche, what’s happening? Did someone annoy you? Was it Tawan?” He spat the name as if it were a curse. “Was it–” the bodyguard swallowed, “was it Si–Kinn?” But the other didn’t answer, he continued looking at the white wall, his former lively, very lovely eyes were vacant; his plump, pink lips were dry and pale; his hair was a mess; his face was oily. Pete took his appearance in, his expression turned hard, his hands formed a fist, “Porsche, I need to know what’s wrong, you need to say something, anything. Everyone is worried about you.”

Porsche wanted to snort, but that would require too much of him so he only kept on breathing.

*Everyone was worried about him?* Mocking laughs echoed inside his head.

Everyone was worried about him? Who was everyone? Pete, who was a spy planted by Kinn? His “father”, who was an absent man who didn’t even bother to speak to him? His “ mother” , whom Porsche was sure, didn’t actually share any blood with him? Kinn, who was surely gallivanting somewhere with Tawan now that they were on speaking terms again? Porchay, who–

His cellphone rang, both of them eyed the screen, the name of the younger, sweet Porchay could be read on it. Porsche let it ring until the screen turned black again.

Porchay… who wasn’t even supposed to know him, because everything in Porsche’s life was fake, planned in a fucking novel, with a shitty ending and shitty characters, and shitty everything.

He was so, so tired, he felt like he could sleep forever.

“Do you want me to call Porchay back?” Pete asked. Why was he still here? “... someone? Anyone? Porsche, please,” pleaded the bodyguard, getting closer to Porsche and bending over trying to look him in the eyes, “Porsche…”

“Go away,” he ordered in a raspy voice, “go away.” Pete stood there, frozen, looking at his master without breathing.

*What's happening to him?* Pete asked, utterly confused. What was happening to his master? Could a person even change that much in a couple of days? From being a narcissistic self absorbed twat, to a hardworking, cheerful man to this…

His phone rang again, Porsche sighed heavily, his pupils slowly traced the letters on the screen.

W O R M       E Y E B R O W S

It said, Porsche had the sudden urge to giggle but nothing seemed to come out. His voice suddenly stuck in his throat.

“Maybe I could–”

“Fucking go away!” he screamed, startling Pete. The bodyguard stood straight, his eyes narrowed into slits, “You need to eat something, you have lost so much weight.” Porsche winced at that. “Didn’t you want to gain muscle? You aren’t doing a great job at it, we could go to the gym together, after you eat. The other bodyguards have been asking for you, we could–”

“You can go.” He raised the covers until they hid his face. Pete scoffed and turned around, slamming the door hard after his exit. The spy was red with fury, his expression murderous, he was fuming. He took out his cellphone, about to call his handler, when the screen suddenly brightened and a ringtone he knew very well could be heard. He looked around, making sure no one was in the vicinity, and answered.

“Mister Kinn?” 

“Where–” a growl echoed from the other line, Pete’s body hair stood on end, he hadn’t heard that cold voice in a while, “the fuck is Porsche?” He wasn’t asking, he was demanding. “Why hasn’t he been at school?”

“I–”

“Did something happen to him?” And suddenly as if it were nothing, as if it wasn’t Kinn Pete was talking with, his voice took a turn, becoming warm and gentle, “Is it his parents? Do I have to kill them?” Pete began sweating, he didn’t know if sir Kinn was being dramatic or not, but knowing him, he could be totally serious. “Someone else maybe? You haven’t reported anything out of the ordinary,” he tsked, “except that brat he’s so fond of.” The gentle voice became cold and venomous, “Why does he like him so much? He’s a fucking child, what does he see in him? I’m a man! I’m rich and handsome! Clearly so much better than him…” his tessiture went down, Pete brought the phone closer to his ear trying to figure out what Kinn was saying , “Should I kill him? I’ll kill him.” The other muttered, “maybe then Porsche will–“

“Sir!” Pete screamed, panicked. Porsche was very, very, very fond of Porchay. He was sure his master wouldn’t like it if the little kid were to  die. “I uh,” the bodyguard pulled at his head looking frantically around trying to come up with something.

“You…” Kinn repeated in a somber tone, “I’m a very busy man, Pete.”

*You were the one who called!* Pete wanted to scream at him.

“Porsche has been very sad, sir.” He doubtfully answered, wincing. He held his breath for a few seconds and then frowned, moving his cellphone and looking at the screen making sure the call was still going.

He shouldn’t have said that, Kinn didn’t care about petty feelings, he cared about facts, money, power. It was his problem if Porsche had been miserable. Pete should have said– “Why…” he finally answered, Pete hurriedly put the phone against his ear, “why do you say that?” He asked, the question had been slowly muttered, almost as if Kinn was in pain, maybe he was? Was he talking in code? Did Kinn really just ask about his fiancé's well-being? Was Pete actually the one with mental problems and was having hallucinations part of the whole thing?

He pinched his thigh just to be sure and hissed when pain ran through his leg, “He had been inside his room all day.”

“That doesn’t tell me anything.” Kinn deadpanned. “He–“ Pete was sweating so much, he seriously needed a long break… maybe a sabbatical, this job was shit, “He doesn’t eat, doesn’t get up, he’s in bed all day sleeping or looking at nothing, he’s just…” Pete but his lip, “existing.” 

“Why?”

“Uh?” Pete blanched. “Why is it so? Did someone do something to him?” His voice was clear and calm, the bodyguard felt another shudder go through his body. 

A calm Kinn was never a good sign. “Whom do I need to kill, Pete? Names, I need names.” The bodyguard shook his head, “Nothing has been out of the ordinary, sir, his personal relationships haven’t changed, nor his family dynamics.” Pete weighed whether to tell Kinn about Porsche's sudden interest in his family’s photo book or his mother’s pregnancy but decided against it.

He was sure his master wouldn’t like his parents’ heads as wedding gifts. “Then what?” He snarled making him jump, “what the fuck do I pay you for, if you can’t even tell me what the hell is happening to my–” Kinn seemed to choke, “I mean, to that… fucker… yeah.”

“I– I–”

“Maybe the one I need to kill… is you?” Pete began shaking his head, he was about to kneel for mercy when he remembered Kinn couldn’t actually see him, “If you have done something to–”

“It 's you!” Pete blurted out and then covered his mouth, his eyes were wide with horror.

“The fuck did you just say?!” Pete didn’t know Kinn’s voice could go that high, “I swear to god, if you–”

“No, no, no, boss, think. The only thing that has actually changed is you.”

“Did you just call me a thing?!” He said, offended. Pete tried not to roll his eyes, he was talking to his boss, even if he couldn’t see him he deserved respect, even when said boss’ brain stopped working around a certain mouthy, sarcastic boy. “Boss, your engagement with Po– sir Porsche has always been rocky, and then after some time you two finally seemed to get along only for… Tawan to cheat on you. Surely, Sir Porsche thought he could have something with you? Maybe not friendship but… something more? But then Tawan went to you again and well…” he nervously said the next part, “You seemed to be… receptive to his advances? Maybe Porsche couldn’t handle the disappointment and just… didn’t want to see you anymore?” 

“Are you saying this is my fault?” 

“No! No! I’m just…”

“I’m coming.” And with that he hung up.

Pete fell to his knees and pulled at his hair while wailing, “I’m so fucking dead.”

From the other side of the cell phone, Kinn eyed the black screen, tempted to shatter it again. He stopped himself from doing so since this was the only number Porsche had and he wasn’t even answering it. Kinn didn’t want to destroy another cell phone and have the  possibility of missing a call, any call, he wasn’t necessarily talking about Porsche but calls overall, he was a very busy person, a mafia heir, he didn’t have the luxury to miss them.

“All right,” he said out of nowhere and went to his closet, taking a look at himself in the big mirror, automatically fixing his hair and clothes and frowning after a while.

He turned around and walked towards the drawers, opening them and closing them when he didn’t like what he saw.

Huffing loudly, he returned back to the mirror, passing his big hands over his black shirt.

“Mmm…” Going back once again, he looked into more drawers, shuffling through the clothes until his hands stopped, holding a burgundy, thin shirt in his hands. 

He nodded absentmindedly and took off the shirt he was currently wearing, putting the new one on, he eyed himself, taking in how that shirt looked on his toned, muscular body accentuating his handsome features and pale skin.

He turned around, and exited the room,  going directly towards one of his cars.

“Big,” he ordered, “you’re copilot today.”

“B-boss?” he muttered, flabbergasted, “boss, it’s too dangerous for you to drive! Please go to the back seat, I’ll do it.”

Kinn looked at him, not bothering to move from the driver’s seat, “I’m not asking your opinion.” Big lowered his head, muttering an apology. “Besides, you drive way too slow.” He tsked. “And I don’t have that kind of patience today.” And with that last part he started the car, immediately stepping on the accelerator, almost running over some unsuspecting bodyguards who had to jump out of the way.

“Oh shi–” Big frantically put his seatbelt on, holding onto it for dear life, “B-Boss I don’t think–”

“I don’t pay you to think.” He missed the traffic light, blowing right through a red light, missing by a hair crashing against a post and wildly making an illegal turn, almost making the car turn on itself but taking control of its equilibrium at the last second.

“Oh, what the fuck– watch out for the nuns!”  Kinn maneuvered the wheel, saving the nuns but making them almost go through a cloth shop.

“Boss! Boss! Please, I beg you, let me drive!”  Big then remembered his training, it had been so many years ago, when he was in his late teenager years and a cold faced Chan gave him his last lesson.

“And remember, Big,”  he had said, his tone somber, “Do not, and I repeat, Do not let Sir Kinn drive for anything in the world.”

Big had nodded, “I understand, Kinn’s safety is first.” Chan had shaken his head, “You shouldn’t be worried about sir Kinn’s safety, but yours.”

Big hadn’t understood then, but now… he turned and pleaded in a tone he would later swear he had never used, “Boss, oh my god, we are gonna die, boss please I- aaahhh!” 

“Shut up, Big, stop exaggerating.” He moved one hand towards him in a nonchalant manner while with the other he looked at his cellphone.

“Oh my god! Two hands on the wheel!” Big covered his face, hiding a sob behind his palms.

“Tch, that fucker hasn’t called me back.” He placed the cellphone against his ear. “That Porsche will get it alright.”

Big stopped sobbing and looked at his boss, his face red and expression wild, “We are doing this for Porsche?!” He spat out the name as if it were an insult, “Oh, hell no.”  He tried to open the door, if he was going to die, let it be by trying to escape from a maniac instead of a sissy.

“And we are here.” Kinn proudly announced, as if cutting a ride that should have been 45 minutes to an outstanding 15 minutes was something to celebrate. 

It was, of course, but Big refused to even entertain the idea. Least his boss decided to make this his new hobby. His heart could only tolerate so much.

“Oh, thank fuck.” Big opened the car door, throwing himself at the floor.

“Mister Kinn.” Pete bowed, he looked oddly nervous, his eyes kept on going from Big, who was kissing the floor, to Kinn, who was closing in on him with a serious expression.

“Take me to Porsche.”  The other bodyguard bowed again, opening the door, letting his boss pass first.

“Have you announced to Porsche’s parents my presence?”

“Yes, sir.”  The other nodded, “Good, no need for pleasantries then.”  Pete sweat dropped and followed Kinn from behind, he was looking at his shoes trying to come up with some excuse to save his sorry ass when he crashed against a hard surface. Pete sputtered and looked up at Kinn. “The fuck are you doing?” he snarled.

“Uh?” Pete mumbled. “I don’t fucking know where Porsche’s room is,” he declared, his cheeks were turning red “t-take me there, come on.” he ordered, while fixing his clothes and brushing his hair with his long fingers.

“Oh!” Pete straightened and then did a 90° bow, “of course, sir, I’m sorry I–”

“Shhh!” Kinn frantically covered Pete’s mouth while looking around. “Stop acting so submissive around me, remember your position here.” He raised one eyebrow, looking at his spy doubtfully.

“Of course!” he answered feeling his soul leave his body. He rapidly resumed his walk, reaching Porsche’s room in a few minutes. Pete breathed slowly, he raised his hand, his knuckles about to knock on the door when from the corner of his eyes he saw a white hand opening it and entering without a care in the world.

“Mis–”

“Thank you for your service, Pete. That will be all.” He then smiled at him, his teeth showing completely almost making him look more threatening than when he was scowling.

“But–” and the door was closed on his face. Kinn turned around, his eyes landing on every furniture, corner and clothes inside the room until the bulge in the bed moved, catching his attention. Dragging his glare from a pair of boxers on the floor to the boy seemingly sleeping in the bed.

“Porsche.” He called, walking closer to the lump. “Porsche,” he repeated when said boy didn’t even move or uncover his face. Kinn scowled, annoyed at not being able to see his fiancé more clearly.

“Porsche, stop this.” His thin fingers grabbed the covers, trying to take them from Porsche. “You need to go back to school, ok? Is someone bullying you? Tell me their names and I’ll solve it, just–” Just talk to me he wanted to say. “just stop it, okay?” he ended up saying, wincing at his own words. The bundle still didn’t move. “Porsche,” he growled, pulling at the covers with more force.

“No,” His voice was low and raspy. It was the first word he had said to Kinn in days, he didn’t know why but the mafia heir found that so very annoying. “What do you mean no?” He intoned in an arrogant voice, “cease this, if you need something you just need to ask me, I’ll give it to you.”

“No,” he repeated. “You…” Kinn grasped the covers with both hands and pulled at them until they were completely off the bed. “Porsc—” Kinn’s voice got stuck in his throat, his dark eyes looked at Porsche’s bloodshot ones, watery and tired, cold and unfeeling; his hair was a mess, oily from the looks of it; same as his face, which was already sprouting stubble, Kinn had never seen Porsche with stubble before, he wasn’t even sure his fiancé was actually capable of growing any bodyhair at all. “Porsche…”

The boy lowered his head, as if he were ashamed. “What are you doing here?” he croaked.

“I- you–” he cleared his throat, and raised his chin in the arrogant manner he knew made Porsche crazy. Any moment now he was about to throw something at his face, Kinn just knew it, maybe Porsche needed that to feel better, and Kinn wasn’t about to deny him that. ”You haven’t been to school.”

The other nodded, his face was still expressionless, “So?” Kinn frowned, “so… you need to go back?” 

Porsche raised his head and looked  at him, “If this is why you came here, you can go now.” Porsche laid down, his gaze returning to the white wall in his room. “Porsche!” Kinn shuffled closer to him, menacingly hovering above Porsche almost on top of him, “what?” Kinn raised one eyebrow, “you can’t handle it?” he smiled, he needed to get a reaction out of Porsche, anything, a sock to the face, a screaming match, even his insults were welcome, he just needed something, anything, and he knew taunting was the best way to do so.

After a few seconds in silence, Porsche sighed, it was a long, tiring sigh Kinn’s frown became more pronounced “Yes, I can’t handle it,” he answered without even once looking at him.

*Look at me!* He wanted to scream, *See me, smile at me, acknowledge me, anything but your indifference, please.*

But instead of saying his thoughts out loud, Kinn huffed mockingly, he got closer to Porsche, his lips touching his ear, “Stop being so pathetic, that’s unseemly of my fiancé.” And that got a reaction.

Kinn smiled, almost feeling relieved when he saw how Porsche snapped his head back at him, his pretty eyes narrowing in annoyance. Kinn was prepared for the punch he was sure was about to come when Porsche sat down. But instead, Kinn almost threw himself off the bed, avoiding his body colliding with that of Porsche’s when he suddenly stood up. He felt his heart palpitating wildly in his chest.

“Once again, you’re right,” Porsche said, getting out of the bed, walking towards the door. “Aren’t you going to hit me?” Kinn stuttered, opening his eyes wide not believing he had actually said that and turning red with shame.

The younger man didn’t answer him, instead he opened the door, ignoring Pete who was on the other side and walked through the halls. He could hear steps behind him but he didn’t know if they were Kinn’s or Pete’s, he just continued, almost mechanically, making turns and opening doors until he got to the main dining room, where his parents were.

“Porsche!” His mother stood up, covering her mouth and looking at him with concern in her eyes, “I knew Kinn could make you get out of the room! Oh my son, just look at you! So deplorable.” Porsche glared at his mother and then at his father, the latter only read his newspaper calmly, as if Porsche wasn’t there.

“Mother, Father.” He said, the words tasting like sand in his mouth. He turned around and looked at Kinn, “Mister Kinn.” He nodded.

“What are you doing?” Kinn grabbed his arm.

“It is my pleasure to inform you all–”

“Porsche,” Kinn begged. His other hand grabbed him by the bicep, almost turning him around to face him, but Porsche stood still, not taking his gaze off his parents. “It is my pleasure to inform you all that my engagement with Kinn Anakinn Theerapanyakun is now officially broken.”

Chapter Text

Porsche looked at the form blankly.

“Are you sure about this, honey?” The woman on the other side of the counter eyed him with worry. Porsche eyed his reflection, he looked skinnier, all his hard work at the gym now was long gone, there were dark bags under his eyes and he looked pale with a yellowish tint.

“Yes,” he answered, scribbling absentmindedly on the form and handling it over. “Will this be the last document? Do I need to hand over something else?”

The woman shook her head. “That will be all.” She bit his lip, looking unsure, she was about to open her mouth when a scream startled her.

“Porsche!” He looked over his shoulder, at the person screaming his name.

“Right,” he muttered, bowing to the secretary before taking off.

“Porsche! You idiot I know you can hear me!” Kinn grabbed him by the arm, “I made reservations,” he stated.

Porsche raised his eyebrows. “And so?” He tried to shake the other’s grip off.

Kinn’s eye twitched. “And so, I’ll pick you up at 6.” 

Porsche laughed, he snatched his arm back, rubbing it, he was sure there would be marks.

“Fuck off, Kinn. The engagement is officially broken, we’ve got nothing to do with each other anymore.” 

He turned around, Kinn was about to grab his hand, when a weight descended upon him, followed by a high pitched voice.

“Dear!” Tawan squealed in his ear, making him wince. “Where are you taking me today?” The boy was practically hanging from his neck.

“W-what?” Kinn looked at Tawan and then at Porsche’s back, the latter was still walking away not even glancing once at them. 

“It’s been a week since your engagement was broken! Why is he still talking to you?!” Kinn hissed, his big hands grabbed Tawan’s arms, forcing them to separate.

“Tawan, the engagement is still on.” 

“But you broke up with him!”

“I didn’t–” I didn’t break up with him, he wanted to say, he broke up with me . 

But Kinn’s lips stayed closed, if he were to say it out loud it would become real, and he hadn’t given his approval, Porsche was never going to get his approval. His decision was one sided, and Kinn was going to show him what would happen if you opposed him.

Kinn closed his eyes and let out a long hard sigh, he began counting, calmly and slowly trying to rein his anger in.

“Kinn!” 

That fucking squeaky voice.

Kinn opened his eyes and looked at Tawan. He took in his big eyes, pouty lips, shiny hair and big smile.

Tawan noticed him looking at him. “Kinn…” he sang, his slim hand caressed his biceps.

Kinn wanted to throttle him.

When there was once adoration, now was disgust. Kinn was unable to see anything beyond his pathetic attempts at manipulation.

If you do him wrong once, you will never be able to wrong him twice. That was a motto Kinn liked to follow, and although it usually became true because the mafia heir would kill anyone who even looked at him wrong, Kinn tended not to put his hands on people easily linked to him.

He was seriously reconsidering that.

Kinn grabbed Tawan’s wrist, he squeezed until he could feel the fragile bones.

“Ahh! Kinn! What are yo–”

“Touch me again.” He leaned in, his hard eyes looking at the other. “And you will know what really means to cross me, you already did it once, with Vegas.” Kinn spat out, “But there won’t be a second time.”

By now Tawan was gritting his teeth, trying not to scream, his eyes were watery. He looked at the taller man.

“Kinn, I know you don’t want to hurt me.” 

Kinn snorted, and without saying anything turned around, walking in the same direction he saw Porsche take.

Porsche closed the door behind him, he took out his phone and looked at the missing calls, mostly from Kinn, he ignored those and just proceeded to text Porchay.

“You came early today,” his mother said.

He looked up at her. “Mmm…” his father mumbled, not even once looking at him, more focused on his newspaper than anything else.

“There is a reason for that,” Porsche balled his hands, feeling strangely nervous, “I–“

“I heard Kinn made reservations for today,” she said with a crooked smile, “you must make haste, he will pick you up in no time!”

Porsche bit his lip. “You know perfectly well Kinn and I aren’t anything anymore.”

His mother’s smile dimmed but nonetheless stayed put. “Ah, yes.” She sat on the sofa, and clamped her tea on the table, the force of it almost making it spill the liquid. “I have no time for your tantrums, Porsche.” 

“Tantrums? I do not want to marry him!” 

She got up, her face was red, little veins were popping up on her forehead, she closed in on Porsche only stopping when she stood right in front of him.

“You will not do this to me! You already agreed! We spoke with his family, the marriage stays on and that’s final!”

Porsche stood there, his face expressionless.

“I unenrolled at school.”

“What!” That even made his father look up at him. His mothers face was red with fury, Porsche could see the white in her eyes turn red and little fat veins frame her temples. “Who do you think you are?!” she screamed.

“I want to be a mechanic, an engineer, I want to fix things.” His mother began laughing.

“A dirty nobody that’s who you’re going to be…” while his mother began howling. Porsche felt the sudden necessity of throwing himself out the window, he looked at it, they were on the third floor, would it be enough to kill him?

“I don’t know how, but you will…” Porsche was tired, he was so tired, his limbs felt heavy, his head hurt, he felt a constant push against his ribcage almost stopping him from breathing, every time he spoke he would feel as if he had eaten sand, it was painful, but he wasn’t  sick, not in the physical sense.

Porsche turned around.

“Where do you think you are going?!” He felt his mother’s hand around his arm, but he shook it off and continued walking until he came to his room.

He was disgusted by it, by the richness of everything contrasting so clearly with the emptiness of his life. He couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror without asking who he was, what he had that could call his own, who were those people surrounding him. 

At the end there was nothing, and so he threw his backpack without a care and got out of the room.

“Give me your cell phone, your credit card and your computer, you are not going anywhere until you fix this behavior,” his mother continued behind him. “Porsche!” she screamed one last time, at the top of her lungs, Porsche had never been a violent person, but this woman was testing him.

“Porsche!” He walked through the main entrance and opened it, absentmindedly pocketing the keys while passing the bodyguards stationed.

“Sir?” Pete asked, his eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes kept moving from the screaming inside the house to him. “Did something happen?”

Porsche’s lips disappeared into a thin line.

“Kinn said he was going to come here, tell him not to bother.”

Pete’s eyes widened. “How am I–”

“I know you have his number, I know you work for him, I know he’s your handler.” Pete sputtered, shook his head vehemently and grabbed Porsche’s arm. “If you still respect any semblance of our so called friendship, do that for me, and don’t follow me. I’ll know, I’m not fucking stupid.” 

“Porsche! I’m sorry! Please, I can explain!”

“Fuck off!” 

Back when he was Porsche, the Porsche he knew, he would get out of his trash bin called apartment and feel the rain. He would stay for hours outside, getting wet by the water, breathing in nature and enjoying, genuinely enjoying being alive.

Even when he would wake up the next day with throat ache and painful coughs.

Even when he would have to buy the cheapest, most suspicious medicine in order to cure his cold.

There was something in that life that could be called his, a satisfaction in waking up every morning, a smile every time he would open his eyes.

Now though.

Porsche looked at his feet, at the brand new converse he’s wearing and the high class shirt and pants an d, there, there it is… that constant feeling again, that panic that settles in his stomach and travels all the way to his throat, the frustration of knowing he would ever be someone in life, the vulnerability in the for of tears threatening to fall for no apparent reason. And so, with heavy hands he proceeds to press them against his eyes even before the tears fall , until he could see white behind his eyelids from the force.

Trying to control his respiration, Porsche looked up, realizing it was about to get dark and he still had to walk for more than one kilometer to reach Chay’s house. Porsche was about to cross the street when a car caught his attention. He knew that car, nobody would drive that slick, fancy model in such a poor neighborhood.

Holding in his gasp, Porsche knelt just as the car’s door opened and crawled around, using a thick tree to hide him. From the expensive car, a tall pale figure came out, he was wearing a dark blue shirt, opened to show his hard chest and straight black slacks.

Porsche huffed, suddenly feeling quite annoyed at the sight, he shouldn't have told Pete to tell Kinn, now he had to scamper around and pray for Kinn’s minions not to catch him.

Carefully, trying not to make a sound, he slowly walked around the tree, taking advantage of everything in his path to cover his figure.

“What the fuck do you mean with ‘he doesn’t have his cellphone’?!” Kinn’s neurotic voice froze him in his tracks. 

“He’s most likely going to Porchay’s.” Pete, that traitor.

“Well, where the fuck does he live?”

“Not too far from here by car, some of our men are already there, but Porsche hasn't arrived yet." Kinn swore under his breath and kicked a trash bin, sending it rolling over the street.

Porsche’s lips thinned, so he couldn’t go to Porchay, he didn’t have his cellphone with him and he also didn’t have any money. Where the hell was he supposed to go now?

“Boss,” one of them said, wincing when Kinn’s hard, dark eyes looked at him. “What?” he snarled.

He offered him the cellphone and said, “It’s Boss Kim.”

Tip toeing around the bunch of them, he felt like he could finally breathe when their voices little by little were heard further away.  The boy didn’t waste time before he began running in the opposite direction of Kinn, he didn’t know where he was going, but his priority as of now, was not to get caught. He continued until his lungs were burning and his forehead was wet with sweat, he stopped when his legs began shaking and sat down in front of a convenience store. He cursed himself once more for not bringing any money with him.

His body hurt, he couldn't stop shaking, sweat formed under his pits and around his neck, he felt dirty, anxious and utterly defeated. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He was given another opportunity, he had a new life, he finally had the money he so desperately needed in his first life and he had somehow ended up living even worse; he didn’t even have a home to get to, he was homeless, a parasite, a nobody.

Porsche sniffed, he hugged himself, and hid his face in his arms and knees.

He was useless, there was no meaning in this life nor the other. At the end, everything was the same.

“Hey.” 

Porsche startled, he snapped his head at the sound and got up, taking a few steps back.

“Hey, looks like you need some help.” His smile didn’t reach his eyes. He extended his hand, towards Porsche.

He looked at the man in front of him and then at the hand.

Porsche was not stupid, but he was tired and lifeless. He didn’t want to fight anymore. He didn’t want to feel… he decided to take Vegas’ hand.