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The object of his obsession
That's the only right thing to call him. Mello was obsessed, that was a fact that could not be escaped. No amount of denial and technicalities could disguise the true nature of his hatred for Near. It was obsessive.
Hate was just as strong an emotion as any, and for Mello it was more so. Years of constant hate would make most people tired, but not him. He had no weak points, so he thought.
He would be going on another year of pure hatred. That was fine with him. He would never not hate near. On the bright side, it was new years eve and he was able to take the day off from schoolwork.
It was raining hard outside, it had been all day, but just getting worse now. Everyone at the orphanage was inside. At first, many of them complained and whined about not being able to spend new years outside. After a while they all settled, however, most relaxing in the cafeteria and playing board games together. Matt was playing video games and sitting on the floor by the wall of the cafeteria. Every now and then he’d look up at the teens and kids playing games. Mello sat next to him, subtly watching him play. Mello almost scoffed, wondering what the redhead would ever do if they were to lose internet. Dinner would come soon, seeing as it was getting close to 6.
Mello was largely uninterested in the movings and laughings of the cafeteria, staring at the walls. Even watching Matt play had gotten old for him, and frankly, the buzzing noise around him was starting to sting. A flit of movement in the doorframe caught his eye. If he didn't know any better he would have thought he saw a ghost. Near stood in the doorway, clinging to the side of it and only halfway peeking in. He stood in his classic white pajamas, twirling his hair as he watched over the crowd. His other arm loosely held a stuffed bear. Mello wanted to laugh at how strange the other was. Why did he always just watch people, or wait for them to talk to him? That or he was always hiding. Mello didn’t think the boy had much emotions, and he thought he only got happiness from messing with people and having things his way. Like a toddler but without the tantrums. He was so infuriating. If he only felt happy when he was right, why did he look so curious and interested right now? Maybe he was bored. Mello watched him stand there a few more seconds, then the ghost of a boy slipped out of view and walked off.
Mello quickly got to his feet and exited the room. He started down the hallway, and Near stopped and turned to face him once he realized he was followed.
"Mello." He tilted his head ever so slightly, voice dripping out of his mouth like hot earl gray tea. There was no emotion whatsoever behind his voice. Just smooth, quiet sound. Mello hated it. He wanted to hear the boy scream. Or cry, or anything. Even laughter would be better than nothing, though he thought he couldn’t stomach the idea of Near being happy. Mello took two steps closer to him. His eyes trailed down to the bear in his arm. Mello grabbed it quickly, holding it far above Near’s head. Near’s brow crinkled the tiniest bit, he noticed, but only for a second.
"Tch, you’re such a kid, lugging this thing around. I mean toys are one thing but do you really need to bring it with you?" Mello smirked down at near, heart pumping at the idea he might get a reaction.
"Mello does seem to like attention." Near mumbled to himself. He talked like he was observing a scientific specimen. This weird speech pattern of his was definitely what pissed Mello off the most.
"What?!" He barked down at him, squeezing the bear by the neck.
"Your desire to pick fights with me feels like you just do anything to get my attention, does it not?" He looked to the side with feigned disinterest. "You can steal my things all you want, or try to make me feel guilty. It wont do anything."
"What makes you think I care about any of that?" He took this as a challenge. "Why were you just staring at everyone, anyway? It’s creepy. You’re a freak."
Near was quiet.
"What? Say something!"
"Mello hates me." Near said matter-of-factly. "Right?" He looked up at Mello, deciding to meet his gaze.
He hesitated for a second. Near looked tired. Not in the normal way, but in the barely-noticeable near way. The way that Mello had learned to pick out by now. He was having an effect on him.
"Obviously." He scoffed.
Near tucked a curl behind his ear, before breaking eye contact and silently leaving Mello behind in the hallway, bear still in hand. Mello just watched blankly in confusion.
Mello ate the food served for dinner, even if he didnt feel like it. He knew he needed to be in top condition to keep his grades up. He didn't see the white-haired boy anywhere during dinner, he probably wasn’t going to eat at all. Mello cursed the boy for his ability to barely take care of himself and still ace tests.
Still, he felt something different. The way his eyes had dimmed, the way he seemingly gave up. That was not what Mello had wanted. If anything it was pathetic. Mello decided he didn't want Near to be sad. Maybe just making him angry would satisfy him.
He glared at the light brown teddy bear seated on the edge of the table, far away from him like it was diseased. “Dude, is that Nears? You seriously took his bear?”
Mello seemed jumped by Matt suddenly speaking. “What? Yeah, I swear he almost cried when I took it.” He bragged.
“Man, I don't see what good hating him does for you. It's not like stealing his stuff will magically make things better. You two’s obsessions with each other are just freaky these days.”
“Matt what the fuck are you on about? Near doesn't care no matter what happens to him.” Mello scoffed.
“I don't know, he seems to like the attention you give him, if you ask me. He pretty much never talks unless its to teachers or to you.” Matt spoke around a lollipop.
“Whatever.” Mello snarled, grabbing the bear by the neck harshly, throwing his trash away and leaving the room quickly.
When he got back to his room, he discarded the bear onto his floor and face planted into his bed. He half-hoped he would wake up in time to watch the ball drop on the news, but he didn't have an alarm and he didn't care much about anything right now.
Sleep was never easy for the blonde. It definitely didn't help that his brain was in replay mode.
“Mello hates me. Right?”
He knows that, why would he have asked? He never seemed upset about it before, either. Near was supposed to be unfeeling and driven. There was no possible thought in Mellos mind that Near would be upset by the fact Mello hated him. And stupid matt was actually kind of right. Near had no friends. But if he did, Mello would be the closest to it. That thought made him groan into his pillow.
Eventually, he fell asleep.
Most of the time he felt nothing. Life was a simple game of going where it takes you, and doing what you need to do. Ignore everyone, focus on the main task. The finish line. L. In this race to win the game, not feeling things was key.
But. Mello.
For a while Near had been able to not see it. But new years in the orphanage, when the blonde spent the holiday with him . With him at midnight. He couldn't pretend to not see it anymore. The feeling (he thinks vaguely as to not name it) was too prominent to be ignored. Something akin to pleasantness, towards Mello, is what he would call it for now. Just name it long enough to box it up and hide it somewhere in the corner of his mind. It wasn't important.
The realization of the pleasantness- it started after Mello had taken his bear. He was used to Mello's bullying. But he’d noticed at dinner, he still had it. Near thought he would have thrown away his enemy’s comfort-item the second he got his hands on it. But he didn't.
By 10 pm, Near was tired of being alone. He didn't have his bear, or Mello there as entertainment. He wondered if Mello had the bear in his room. After a bit of thinking, he couldn't take the boredom.
After all, Near had been curious as to what would happen if he was openly nice to Mello.
For curiosity purposes.
The soft, weak pat on his door barely woke him up. Mello realized it was supposed to be a knock, but it was so quiet it barely sounded like anything. His stomach twisted when he realized who the only person who would knock like that was. Hesitantly, and still hoping he was wrong, he crossed his room and opened the door. Damn it. Near.
Mello rubbed his eyes, still too tired to be properly rude, so he just stood there.
“Mello.” The white haired greeted, twirling his hair and avoiding eye contact.
"What the fuck do you want- oh." Mello turned around quickly grabbing Near's stuffed animal, swiftly chucking it at him. "Just take it and let me go the fuck back to bed." He tried, and failed, to sound threatening.
Near stumbled, almost catching the bear, then retrieving it off the floor. "That is not all I am here for. It's the new year in a few hours."
"Yeah, so?"
"Will Mello come watch the ball drop with me?" He asked straight out. He firmly squeezed his bear’s hand.
"Why in god's name would I do that?"
Near stepped into the room with caution like he would set off some kind of landmine just by existing in Mello's space. He walked over to him, a few feet apart, and held out a small box in his hand.
Mello raised an eyebrow.in distrust, but took the item anyway. Upon examination, it was a hot chocolate bomb. He looked up at Near. "The fuck?"
"Mello likes chocolate and explosives. Roger supplies me with sweets and these are one of the things he gives me that I rarely eat. I have more, and water heated up."
"I'm not going to drink hot cocoa in water like a fucking psychopath."
"Well, I could heat up milk instead. If Mello doesn't wish to come with me, that is fine."
Mello clicked his tongue. "Get out already, I'm not going to hang out with you just because you gave me chocolate." He threw the box aside and returned to his bed. Near took the hint and left.
The room now dark and alone, Mello flipped around and stared at his ceiling. His stomach ached. God damnit .
He got up, stealthed his way down to the kitchen, chocolate bomb in hand. He made some toast with Nutella, and threw some milk in the microwave. He peered down at the now empty box in his hand. It was, presumably, a valentines chocolate bomb. It was pink and strawberry flavored, not to mention the bomb itself was heart shaped. On the top of the box, there was a little "to and from" blank to be filled in. “To Mello”, it said, with the “From” space not filled in. If he wasn't already starving he would have thrown up. Stupid Near.
He finished his food, grabbed the mug and the chocolate and marched upstairs, beelining for Near’s room.
“Near!” He whisper-yelled as he barged into the boys room. He looked down at Near who was on the floor next to his bed, sitting with one knee to his chest. Nears gaze turned from his television, to Mello, a brief expression of surprise shown for just a second. Mello smirked at his ability to drag emotion out of the albino, then lifted his hand up. He had a tight fist around the box with the heart shaped chocolate on clear display.
“Got something to tell me?”
“I thought strawberry would appeal to your tastes most.” Near clearly knew what Mello was referring to.
“Thats fucking gay.”
“Love can be platonic, yes? Back before Mello hated me, he gave me and Matt and everyone else candy on valentine's day.”
Mello sneered. “I was 9, and you're grown enough to know this is weird as shit.”
“Alright then, it means whatever Mello wants it to mean." Near titled his head subtly. Mello glanced at the heart of chocolate one more time, before giving up and sitting cross-legged a few feet away from near. He looked down at his hot milk and dropped the bomb in. It did nothing.
"Hey, this is what I came all the way to your room for?!" He hissed.
Near let a shadow of a smile hit his face as the bombs belated reaction occurred. Mello let out a "huh?"
He watched as the lump of sweets bobbed up and down in the water, chocolate powder and heart shaped marshmallows popping up out of it. Mello looked mesmerized. He dipped a finger into it, then licked it.
"This does not make us friends."
"Of course." Near smiled.