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Dream used to go to the same sleep-away camp every summer when he was still growing up. The same people always went to Camp Munchamuffin; him, George, Sam, Punz, Ant and Velvet (they were always listed together), and of course, Sapnap. His closest friend at camp along with George, but Sapnap was just… different. George was amazing, all of his friends were, but Sapnap just clicked with Dream in a way no one else did. He was always willing to do the activities Dream wanted to do. He liked hiking and kayaking and anything, as long as they could do it together. He sang off-key with the confidence of a trained opera singer. He liked bandanas and nearly squealed in delight when Dream tie-dyed one for him. He was brilliant and bright and brash and sometimes, he made Dream do dumb word games with him, like memorizing adjectives that begin with br-.
Sapnap was amazing and whenever Dream’s parents would pull up the gates of Camp Munchamuffin, Dream could feel his heart swell with the excitement of getting to see his best friend again.
Then, when he was 17, the second-to-last year he was allowed to attend the sleep-away camp, Sapnap wasn’t there. He waited out the first week, unsure if Sapnap just signed up for a shorter course that year. He asked around with the other repeat campers, who all said they didn’t know if he was attending. He waited another week. Then he caved and asked the man who ran the camp where Sapnap was.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Dream,” Bad said, giving him an almost sad smile. “His parents didn’t sign him up this year. I’ve spoken with them and he might be back next year, don’t worry!”
Sapnap wasn’t back the next year, and then Dream was graduating high school, and then there was no more sleep-away camp to yearn for anyways. It didn’t stop him from missing those days, and he dwelled on Sapnap more than he probably should have. The funny thing about Camp Munchamuffin was that he completely forgot about the world outside of it whenever he was there, forgot about exchanging phone numbers or the fact that they’d have to leave or important things such as sharing full names with the people around him.
He only ever got George’s phone number because it was forced upon him on the last day of camp, scrawled on a piece of paper alongside George’s full name. George was the forward thinker of their group, even if his usual role was causing an argument. When Sapnap didn’t come back to camp, while everyone else (mostly Dream) was moping, George landed on the obvious conclusion of let’s not do this again. George held onto Dream and Punz with a fierce grip. Punz was in contact with Sam and Ant. And of course, Ant was with Velvet, because the two had been smitten with one another ever since they all met.
“I’m surprised you didn’t stay in contact with Sapnap,” Velvet teased, jabbing a finger into Dream’s chest. They stood together on the balcony of Ant and Velvet’s apartment, Velvet sipping on some wine and Dream watching the stars. Behind them, their friends reminisced and yelled at one another, but outside, it was blissfully quiet. “You guys were all over each other during summer camp.”
“Huh?”
“Like, he was so in love with you! It was hilarious,” Velvet said, wearing that taunting grin he was so good at, and Dream’s brain rewired itself. Sapnap was in love with Dream. Love. Sapnap. In love with… Sapnap.
“Huh,” Dream repeated himself, softer, and Velvet’s face dampened, just a bit.
“Didn’t you know?”
“No.” Dream blinked. “I mean, like- I knew he cared about me a lot. He was my favorite person at camp, no offense-”
“None taken.”
“-but I didn’t- I mean- sexuality was very confusing for me until only recently. I mean, it’s still confusing, but I’m comfortable now, I can think about it. I never really thought about it before, didn’t really consider that guys were allowed to like me. So no, I didn’t notice.” Dream could feel his heart in his chest, the way it pounded as his mind whirred. Recontextualizing Sapnap’s endless generosity, the way he lit up whenever Dream was near, the jealousy whenever Dream teamed with someone besides him. What was before now just quirks of his sometimes-best friend, was now a million pings going crush, crush, crush. Quietly, Dream added, “I think- I think I had a crush on him too.”
“Yeah, no shit,” Velvet said, clapping him on the shoulder. “Well, better to realize now than never!”
Dream wasn’t sure he agreed with that, not fully, because now he kept thinking about kissing on the docks at night or sneaking into each other’s bunks or holding hands at the campfire. Little things that he always teased Ant for or tried to encourage George to do with Punz. Little things he had never let himself dwell on.
Now that he knew he liked men, it was obvious that he had wanted that for himself all along. Too little, too late, he supposed.
So he was yearning and dwelling on a boy that he never even bothered to ask for the last name of. Apparently enough that he was now hallucinating him, because there was no way in the world that Sapnap was at the same campsite as him, pitching a small tent on the plot across from Dream’s.
Dream was staring at a stranger like a total creep. That wasn’t Sapnap.
Said stranger finally seemed to notice the eyes on him and turned around, meeting his gaze readily. He looked like Sapnap, with his black hair curtaining his face, ruddy cheeks, and dark eyes that even from a distance seemed to sparkle in the sunlight. He wore clothes similar to what Sapnap did, a white bandana around his forehead and dark clothes with tears in the knees. He had the same stunned expression Sapnap would wear when caught off guard, with a slack jaw and a perfect little O of his pink lips. He was older than Sapnap was, no duh, with longer hair and thick stubble on his square jaw, but he looked like Sapnap.
His face lit up the same way Sapnap’s did when he grinned, blossoming into a bright excited expression with all the ferocity of the sun. Dream was still staring, shocked into stillness as the man dropped the tent poles he was fighting against and crossed across the dirt road between the sites to meet him.
“Dream?!”
“Sapnap?”
The man nodded in that over-eager way Sapnap always used to and it hit Dream, all at once, that this was his lost best friend. He stumbled forward to offer a hand to shake, barely surprised when Sapnap bypassed that in favor of gripping him in a strong bear hug.
Another development: Sapnap was much stronger than he was when they were teenagers. Dream let out a low wheeze, wrapping his own arms around Sapnap’s back and squeezing only half as tight as the back-cracking hug he was given. “You’re killing me, man.”
“Sorry, sorry!” Sapnap let out and stepped back, still wearing that broad grin that made Dream’s heart do a funny dance in his chest. “I can’t believe it, oh my God. It’s been so long!”
“It has! Holy shit.” Without thinking, Dream grabbed Sapnap’s face, double checking that he was really there. Sapnap’s face went pink but he allowed it, his grin softening into an intimate smile. Dream’s everything felt warm, a flash of heat swimming through his body at the small expression. “You- you didn’t come back to camp, no one knew where you were. I mean, Bad did, but he didn’t say anything, so…”
“Yeah, my uh, my parents divorced so we were dealing with that, I guess.” Sapnap shrugged, tilting his head. His hands came up to hold Dream’s wrists and he blushed at the reminder that he was cupping Sapnap’s face in both hands. He lowered them and Sapnap dropped his wrists, taking another step back and folding his hands behind him. “How have you been?! I missed you!”
Dream laughed, gentle and quiet. “I missed you too, man.”
They fell back together naturally after that. They were both on mini-vacations, long weekends away from work that they decided to spend out in the woods. Sapnap lived in the area and came here frequently, while Dream had just heard good things online and decided to drive a few hours, and he happily let his old friend show him around the campsite. They went on the hiking trails, getting half-lost in the woods when Sapnap tried to remember a nice clearing he had been to a few times. Sapnap dragged him to a picnicking area along the river that wound through the camp, talking Dream into having dinner with him there instead of their tents. Towards the end of the night, when the rest of the camp was tucked away in their sites, they walked out to the lake, standing together at the end of the dock.
There was a sign saying they couldn’t swim or boat after ten, and neither of them had brought swimsuits even if they wanted to. Dream didn’t mind, though. He took a seat on the roughly hewn dock, staring out at the lights of houses on the distant shore, and Sapnap sat with him after a second.
“It’s really pretty, huh?” Sapnap asked in a whisper and Dream nodded. He wanted to look back at him but something held him frozen, staring as more of the lights across the lake blinked out in the darkness of the night. “I like coming here because it reminds me of Camp Munchamuffin. Summer camp was like, some of my favorite memories from growing up, you know?”
“Yeah, me too. I loved hanging out with you and George and the guys,” Dream agreed. He reached out to wrap an arm around Sapnap’s shoulders and he slotted himself against Dream’s side, fitting perfectly without a word. Dream understood, all of sudden, the appeal of the green light across the bay in the Great Gatsby, training his gaze on one of the far-off street lamps and letting some semblance of hope wash over him.
He found Sapnap again, even if it was by some wild coincidence. They were here, together, Sapnap under his arm, sat at the end of the docks of a campsite. One of those little fantasies he refused to entertain when he was younger, suddenly within his reach.
“You know, I was always so jealous of Ant and Velvet during camp,” he said, the words tumbling from his mouth before he could consider them.
“Hm?” Sapnap asked, turning his head, and Dream finally looked away from those bright pinpricks across the lake. Sapnap was always handsome, but something about him in the darkness made Dream’s chest seize, his already dark eyes rendered entirely black. Dark as a black hole, dragging Dream in along with everything else. Without thinking, he leaned in closer, and Sapnap’s mouth dropped into that ever familiar oh.
“Well, you know. They were dating during camp. They’re still dating now, actually, but you get what I mean,” Dream said and Sapnap shivered at the feeling of his breath on his face. “But at camp, they’d always sneak off to the docks, you remember that?”
“I remember you always trying to goad George into doing that with Punz, yes,” Sapnap replied, teasing, and Dream huffed a laugh.
“Well I’ve been thinking about that a lot recently and I didn’t realize it at the time, but I think I always wanted to do that, too. Sneaking off, kissing in the dark, having everyone know you were together but still having that privacy.”
“Yeah? With who?” Sapnap seemed to already know the answer to his question, tilting his head so that their lips brushed, and Dream took a second to swallow and take a steadying breath.
“You.”
Sapnap closed the gap between their lips, eyes fluttering closed, and Dream let his own eyelids drop at the soft press of the kiss.