Chapter Text
The BAU had been working on the case for a day: Three women dead: strangled, with blunt force trauma to the head, and dropped in city dumpsters with signs of sexual assault. The team had interviewed witnesses and visited the dumpsites, and now it was time to put together the final profile for the local police.
You were in the roundtable room sitting on a swivel chair with the rest of the team; Garcia was sitting at her laptop, Hotch standing at the front of the room.
“So we’ve said he’s meticulous,” Hotch is saying, brows furrowed, “These are planned and prepared kills, over long periods of time. He’s older, not an adolescent.”
JJ adds, pointing to the file in front of her with her pen, “He’s choosing young victims, and he has to be physically fit to transport them, so he must not be that old. Maybe mid-20s or 30s… 40 at the very latest?” She looks up for confirmation.
Morgan jumps in, “And he’d need a car to dump them, anyway, so check DMV records as well.”
“Okay, okay,” Garcia nods as she pushes her ruby-red frames up the bridge of her nose. She begins typing. “I’ve narrowed my records down to men in or around the DC area, who are vehicle owners, within the 25-35 age range,” she says with a quick nod.
“Good,” Hotch affirms the parameter she set. “What else?” He looks around the room, frowning. His eyes are lasers, setting fire to the team around the table.
“He’s holding these women overnight, so we know he must be single, especially considering the ruse he uses,” Prentiss begins, setting down her file in front of her.
“And he’s torturing them, so he’d need privacy. Can’t do that in an apartment building.” Rossi adds, turning his focus to the programmer across the table, “Focus on anyone with personal property, Garcia.”
She nods emphatically and types on the keyboard. “Keep it coming,” she says, still staring at the screen. Her large cherry-shaped earrings shake under her blonde locks as she clacks on the laptop.
Morgan continues, “He’s killing during the day, so eliminate anybody in a typical 9-to-5 job,”
You add to the conversation, “But he must at least appear affluent enough and be charming enough to lure these women, so…”
“The unsub must still be making enough money for himself, or he comes from a family with money.” Reid interrupts you, nonchalantly looking at the file in front of him as he speaks. You briefly roll your eyes. He did this constantly, butting in and finishing your sentence just as you are about to add to the conversation.
You were the newest in the group, only having been there a little less than a year, and the youngest, and it seemed like Dr. Spencer Reid didn’t want you to take his place as the brilliant mind in a young body. The two of you tried to remain civil in the workplace, but moments like this happened often enough that fighting wasn’t uncommon. You bite your tongue and take a sip of your mug to suppress the angry expression that was ready to reveal itself. This case is more important than thinking of a rebuttal to his interruption.
Penelope continues typing, a driver’s license photo of a young man appears on the screen in front of you. “This could be him: his name is Charlie Johnson?”
You cough on your drink at the reveal of the familiar name and face. Across the table, Emily looks at you, eyebrows raised. “Y/N?”
“Do you know this guy?” Rossi asks, thumb pointed towards the monitor.
Swallowing the cough, you state, “That’s my cousin.” You stare at the picture on the screen. His smile was bright but ingenuous; the eyes were cold and blank.
“You said what?” From your right, Derek turns to look at you. His expression is one of disbelief, but a slight tinge of anger lied beneath the surface. “Your cousin?” He repeated.
You stand up, beginning to pace, wringing your hands together. You stare at the floor, refusing to look at your coworkers’ judging eyes. You could feel them silently profiling your behavior as you clumsily explained the situation, voice rising with your blood pressure. Your hands begin to shake as you rant, “Well, Charlie’s actually my second cousin; we share great grandparents, but my family would see his family at every family reunion. We used to try to have one every other year when I was a kid, but we haven’t since I was in high school, until now. We’re actually…” Suddenly, the pieces are fitting together in your mind. You stop pacing and sigh, squeezing your eyes closed and rubbing your forehead as you make the realization. “I’m supposed to see him at a family reunion this weekend.”
So many people in the area could be the unsub, and of course it ends up being your cousin. “Garcia, are you sure you didn’t miss any other names in your search?” You insist, holding back a whine. You keep your gaze on her, ignoring the stares from the team.
Her eyes are sympathetic before she turns back to her laptop, typing furiously as she speaks, “I’m double checking and triple checking, and…” Her pink lipstick pouts up at you, “He is the only one I can find that fits those parameters so closely.”
“Does he fit the profile?” Hotch interjects, his voice straightforward, despite your obvious panic. His brows are furrowed as he watches you, awaiting an answer. You take a deep breath to clear your head, and a floodgate of memories opens. You didn’t have many memories with him, but the ones that are there definitely aren’t pleasant. Charlie wasn’t much older than you, maybe 5 years? There was always something off about him. Charlie was the one who stifled a smile when your family announced your dog had been hit by a car. He was the one who cut your pigtail when you were seven and laughed as you screamed. The one would chase the young cousins in games of “tickle torture” until they couldn’t breathe. The one cousin you were terrified of being alone with, too scared to even tell your parents how you felt, so you just avoided him at every family gathering. And this was as a teenager! Now that you think of it, it makes complete sense that he’d turn out to be a total psychopath.
“Yeah,” you gulp, “it fits. I haven’t seen him in years, but I definitely remember some psychopathic tendencies from when we were kids. And he definitely fits the ‘alpha male’ part of the profile. He’s got some business he runs, and at every family reunion he acts like he is the star of the show,” You scoff at the memory. You think for a beat before continuing, speaking quickly, “So how are we going to proceed? There’s conflict of interest, right? So I shouldn’t-”
“You’re going to the reunion, Y/L/N,” Hotch interrupts solemnly, staring past you as he thinks, “It will catch him off guard if we stop him somewhere he is used to having control.”
“But, sir, wouldn’t it be dangerous for me to approach him alone?”
“You wouldn’t be alone. This would be an undercover mission,” His eyes met yours, making you feel exponentially more inferior than usual. You couldn’t help imagining your family in a situation with the unsub—your cousin.
“Yes, but if I’m alone on the inside-”
“Like I said, we won’t send you in alone. We’ll have Reid go with you,” Hotch explained, his tone blunt as he gestures to the man across from you. Your jaw drops, and you finally acknowledge the rest of the room as your gaze turns to Reid. He has the same expression, mouth open in surprise at your boss. You glance around at the rest of the team desperate for support but they simply glance back, with barely more than looks of concern and sympathy, the kind you’ve seen in witness interviews. They weren’t going to speak against the unit chief. You turn to Penelope, who meets your eyes with a look of worry. She knew the most about your problems with Reid, and she was well aware of the difficulty that working alone could pose. She squirmed in her seat for a second before opening her mouth.
The analyst barely squeaked, “Sir, are you sure this is the best idea? I mean, (Y/N)’s family-” You knew she was trying to come up with another reason to not do the mission in the first place.
“They’ll be safe, Garcia. That’s why I would send her undercover with another member of the team, and Reid has enough experience.” His tone seems to grow almost angry with every objection.
A pit began to form in your stomach and you thought about where the nearest receptacle was, in case you lost your lunch.
Clearing your throat slightly, you turn your attention to Hotch. You start to interject, your voice barely above a whisper, “Sir…”
“Hey, you said it yourself. He is dangerous, and an alpha male. Someone like Reid- no offense- wouldn’t appear to be an immediate threat,” Morgan explains, attempting to lighten the mood.
“And you two are the closest in age. It would make sense for you to go together,” Prentiss added.
You bit the inside of your lip, your mind racing at the thought of working with the aggravating doctor.
Reid began to question, just as you were about to voice your own confusion. “Yes, but for what reason would she bring a stranger to a family reun...”
Like always, you two came to the correct conclusion at the same time. Your eyes met his in a look of disbelief. You would go undercover. At your family reunion. As a couple. The two of you. Alone.
“When you said undercover you meant…” Your voice drifted off and you almost sunk to the floor right then. Undercover as a couple with Reid? How would you convince your family for a whole weekend you were in love with this guy, a man who you can barely work with in a team without arguing? To apprehend your serial killer cousin? A headache was beginning to form.
You turn back to Hotch, almost pleading. “Sir, I really don’t feel comfortable with this…”
Reid interrupts then, ignoring you as he looks ahead at Hotch, “It’s what’s going to catch him, right? I think it’s our best chance,” He turned towards you, leaning forward ever so slightly, “Unless your feelings are in the way of doing your job?” His amber eyes glared right into yours, an eyebrow raised, and anger boiled up in your chest.
“No, Doctor,” You emphasized the title like it was some sort of an insulting curse word, “it isn’t about you.” Who were you kidding? Working with Reid would be a nightmare. But it’s unprofessional to say that, so you bite your tongue and come up with something else: “This is my family’s safety we’re discussing.”
A soft voice breaks the tension. “We promise nothing will happen to anyone, Y/N,” Beside you, JJ rubs your shoulder.
You let out a deep breath. “I know.”
Instead of thinking about the infuriating boy genius on the other side of the table, you focus your gaze on the files lying on the table in front of you, staring at the smiling faces of the poor women who had no idea what was coming to them. You had to catch the man who did this, and you know exactly who it is. You admit Reid was right; this may be our best chance to catch him off guard and take him down before anyone else gets hurt.
With all the courage you could muster, you look up at Hotch with determination and discomfort written across your face. “Let’s do this, I guess.”
It’s Friday, eight o’clock. Early morning light streams through the curtains, particles of dust floating in the air. You stand at the foot of your bed, zipping up the suitcase that you’ll be taking on your road trip.
This wasn’t the weird part. You had been preparing for this trip for a week, and you were excited to take it! But the fact that a black SUV waited in the parking garage underground, ready for you to pick up your “fake boyfriend” to take with you to meet your entire extended family before apprehending your serial killer cousin… that was different.
When you explained to your parents that you’d be bringing someone with you to the family cabin, they were shocked to say the least. You don’t date much; the last boyfriend you had was a long time ago. You never talked about it, but one reason you decided to go into law enforcement was to stop people like him.
Hearing that you have a new boyfriend, let alone one serious enough to bring to meet the family was a surprise to everyone.
Thinking about Spencer Reid meeting your family put a pit in your stomach. Not because he wasn’t a nice person, in fact, that was one of his best qualities. He was always kind to victims and their families. He charmed witnesses even without trying. But he never was that way towards you. In fact, he would usually ignore you when he wasn’t actively undermining your opinions. Could he turn on his charm on purpose, enough to convince your relatives he was in love with you? And if he could, were you ready to be on the receiving end of that?
You shake off the confusion, collect your bags, and exit your apartment, taking the elevator to the sublevels where the van waits. After about 10 minutes of driving through the bustling city, you arrive at Spencer Reid’s building. He waits outside with a suitcase of his own, leaning on the railing with a book in his hand. He’s wearing a sweater over a button-down and tie, surprising for the already warm weather, but not for him. He doesn’t notice you right away, and instead he turns the page. You watch him brush his chestnut-colored hair out of his eyes in vain. You wonder how many books he had brought for the trip, and suppress a snigger at the thought of his slender frame dragging a suitcase full of encyclopedias on the trip.
You took a second to answer your text messages, most from Garcia, expressing concern for the upcoming case. You send something simple, reassuring you that the two of you would try not to kill each other, topping it off with an emoji so she knows you’re (mostly) joking.
You roll the window down and call his name, raising your voice over the morning traffic. He looks up, puts away his book and walks down the steps. Reid opens the trunk to place his bags in the back, as he mumbles something about waiting and being late but you were too tired to put energy into arguing, so you simply sigh and pretend not to hear as you wait for him to come up to the front seat.
After he gets settled in the chair you put the car in drive and begin the three hour trip to the lake house. Reid says nothing and instead pulls out the book he was reading before. He stared down, flipping the page every minute or so. You concentrate as you make your way onto the highway from the offramp. Silence hung in the air like wet laundry.
You knew the weekend couldn’t stay like this, especially if you wanted to convince everyone this was a normal relationship without letting anyone know you were both there to arrest your cousin for five counts of murder. It was at this moment you decided that you needed to do your best to quell the animosity between the two of you. Starting now, you would attempt to make Doctor Reid your friend. Or at least, you’ll try not to hate each other.
Once the traffic evened out and you could relax a bit, you decide to begin with an easy conversation starter, “Starting a new book?”
Without looking up, he answers, “The Brothers Karamazov,”
“That’s nice. I haven’t gotten around to reading that one yet. It’s on my list. I read Crime and Punishment a while back, and I really liked-”
“I’ve read that one three times, once in English, then twice in the original Russian. I’m doing the same right now.” He interrupted, still staring at the novel. He turned a page without waiting for a response.
You grit your teeth and grip the steering wheel, holding back angry words. Instead you continue the conversation as coolly as you could, forcing kindness in your comment, “Oh, I forgot you’re fluent in Russian, how long did that-”
“Not exactly fluent, but close enough,” He turns another page.
You lose your patience then.
“Ugh! Reid! I’m trying to have a simple conversation! We need to actually talk at least a little bit before we get there,” You glance over at him quickly to see if he was even listening to you before returning your attention to the road in front of you. You take a breath to relax yourself before you make any rash driving mistakes. You didn’t need that added to the list of things for Reid to correct you on.
He closes the novel and turns at you. “Well, I was reading. I’m sure you hate being interrupted while reading as well, (Y/L/N).” He emphasizes your name with an air of annoyance.
Your heart beats fast in indignation. “Well, excuse me for wanting to actually learn something about my fake boyfriend ,” You mumbled, staring ahead at the expanse of road.
He sighed and stared forward. After a beat of silence, you sigh, suddenly regretting the outburst. “I’m just on edge about this assignment,” You explain with a huff, brushing your hair back out of your face. “And I’m tired of fighting. It won’t help the case.”
You wait, hoping he breaks the silence next.
He answers your silent prayer with a simple, “Sorry.” It’s better than nothing.
After a minute of silence, Reid sighs again. “You’re right. We need to get to know each other. And we need to solidify our story.” He pulls out a file from his satchel. You’re shocked at the admission of defeat, but mostly just grateful that he’s changing the subject.
The plan was that you two would be undercover as a couple, obviously. Charlie, your cousin, a proud “alpha-male”, would warm up to Reid, a “not-so-alpha-male”. At the end of the weekend, the two of you would begin to talk about the case. Charlie would inevitably slip his facade, allowing the two of you reason to arrest him without an issue. Rossi actually had a huge timeshare on the same lake, so he was to stay there as backup the whole time if anything were to go wrong before you were prepared to confront the unsub; his mansion would also serve as team headquarters until the takedown on Sunday night.
You take a deep breath before starting, “Okay. So let’s rehearse the story again. We can’t screw up on something as simple as that.”
Garcia had prepared a folder full of details that you were to stick to. (Something told you she enjoyed fabricating the false relationship.) It was your family, so of course you don’t have to play anyone, and the team decided neither would Reid. Since he is so well-known, it was trickier to give him a pseudonym without setting off flags. You knew your family would search for him online and although there were no social media profiles to be wary of, he was still known through his academic writings and working with you in the BAU. It simply made sense to keep both of you as yourselves, albeit a fabricated version where you didn’t hate each other.
“So we met nearly a year ago when I started working at the BAU. That one’s easy to remember,” You let out a lighthearted chuckle to try to diffuse the tension, but Reid ignores it as he looks down at the open folder.
He runs his long fingers down the first page, following the words, mouthing silently to himself. He reads out loud, a serious tone, “‘Eight months ago, I got the courage to ask you out to coffee and you rejected me at first, worried that it would ruin our work relationship. A month later you decided you didn’t care and we started dating…’” He raises his eyebrows incredulously, “Garcia has quite the imagination.”
“What did she say the first date was like again? It was dinner, right? I don’t remember exactly,” You admit as you glance at him.
“Of course,” He mumbles, clearly annoyed, but you ignore him, rolling your eyes quickly. He answers stiffly from his memory, “Yes, it was dinner.”
“Oh, that’s right,” You laugh awkwardly through a grimace as you glance over at him, “That’s the part where Garcia mentioned a kiss, isn’t it? She’s so detail-oriented,” You barely notice the blush starting to rise on his face.
The doctor’s voice shifts up just barely as he shuffles with the papers in his lap, “Oh, yeah, that,” He clears his throat quickly, continuing with a nervous tone, “Yeah, Garcia put that in. She said after we got dinner at a nice restaurant, I dropped you off at your apartment, and… we kissed,” He added quickly.
“Okay, but did Penelope say who kissed who first, because my family is nosy and they will be asking,” You let out a small chuckle, hiding your discomfort to even be discussing this.
Reid looks forward. “She did not.”
You grew slightly annoyed. “Well, then, let’s decide. Did I kiss you, or did you kiss me?”
He huffed just loud enough for you to hear, “Does it matter?”
“Ok. Reid? This is my family we’re dealing with,” You state, holding back your exasperation. “If I say it matters, it’s going to matter. Believe me. The more prepared we are, the better. It’s just work. Don’t make it weird,” You add, scoffing, “It’s not like we’re actually kissing.”
He says something you miss, and you look over at him with eyebrows raised, expecting him to repeat it. He looks back down at the file that you knew he already memorized. He looks slightly more uncomfortable than usual.
There’s a slight pause before Reid concedes with a huff. “Fine. Let’s say I kissed you first.” You glance over at him, and he is staring through the windshield again, lips tight in a serious expression.
“Okay. Moving on to something less… intense.” You settle on an adjective close enough, forcing a lighter tone in your voice and holding back another eyeroll. (You did tell Garcia you would try not to kill him.)
“Sounds good to me,” Reid sighs, pushing a lock of hair back off his forehead quickly.
“Let’s just get to know each other better.” You start, waiting for an answer. He remains silent for a beat. You continue, “I mean, if we’re dating I should at least know what your favorite color is, or about your family. We’ve known each other for a year but we have never actually talked to each other.”
“We talk enough,” He protested, his voice raising again.
“About work. I feel like I don’t even know you!” You chuckle awkwardly, “I just mean- you’re a very guarded person.” You tiptoe around the comment, not wanting to cause another argument.
He is silent for a second before he replies. A smirk flashes across his face and disappears just as quickly as you caught it.
“You’re not.”
“And? You’ve also got an eidetic memory. That makes your job easy; it’s not a fair comparison.”
He simply nods. His face is stoic once more.
“Well,” You tried to hide the annoyance rising in your voice in another nervous laugh, “Do you want to help me out? Tell me some favorites.” He barely nods in response.
It was the longest two hours of your life, and the weekend was just beginning.