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Five thought nothing could surprise him anymore, but a floating cube was definitely a new notch on the bingo card.
It hovered ominously, emanating a soft glow and making strange pulsing sounds. Whether it was trying to communicate or not was anyone’s guess, but the rest of the sparrows seemed to understand it just fine.
“Are we supposed to be afraid of this thing?” Luther scoffed, eyeing the cube with a mixture of amusement and suspicion.
“If you were smart, you would be,” sneered the girl with the dark glasses framing her scars (Five was itching to ask where they’d come from but noted this was probably not the time).
“You expect too much of them,” Ben remarked, a cruel smirk tugging at his mouth.
Well, Sparrow-Ben. This man with a permanent scowl and gelled up hair was certainly not the boy Five had left behind when he was thirteen. It stung a little, to look at him and see the brother he could’ve grown up beside staring at him with nothing but cold contempt.
Umbrella-Ben (real Ben) was nice to Five when they were kids, although that was nothing to brag about. Ben was nice to anything that moved. But whenever Five had an argument with Diego or was yelled at by Reginald, Ben was always there with a smile and a peanut butter sandwich, ready to listen to Five vent or give him a hug Five pretended not to enjoy. Sentiment was never his strong suit.
Ben was truly gone now, not even an alleged ghost none of them could see. That hurt more than Five cared to admit. He could still remember back in the apocalypse, leafing through Vanya’s book, desperate to cling to any memories of his family. Chapter 6 let him know exactly how his brother had met his gruesome end. Five had cried for a week, left with the eternal question of could I have saved him?
Sparrow Ben took a step forward, “You’ll all come back with us to the Academy. Dad has some more questions to ask-”
“Yeah, that’s not gonna work,” Diego interrupted, fingers already playing on his knife handles, “Our schedule is pretty full already.”
The girl tilted her head and Ben’s smile grew dangerous.
“Last warning, assholes,” Ben spat, “You come quietly, or…” he pointed to Christopher, “He’ll take care of you.”
“I’m shaking,” Allison stated in complete monotone, “I’m utterly terrified. We’d better listen to them, guys, there’s no way we can match Mr. Rubix Cube here.”
Five said nothing, his eyes firmly fixed on the cube. Its colour was shifting, melting into a vicious shade of red. His stomach flipped uncomfortably. Something wasn’t quite right here.
“What’re you gonna do?” Klaus giggled, “Stack him into a lego tower? That’ll show us!”
The whole family was laughing now, but Ben and the girl kept a stony silence matched only by Five. Ben raised his fist and the cube began to spin, its shape melding into a sphere, sparks of the same harsh red flickering from it.
Before Five could shout a word of warning, bolts of red energy flashed forward, striking them all in one fatal blow. Five flew to the ground as his head started pounding, gritted his teeth as waves of pain washed over him. He fought to keep his eyes open, to keep the sight of his siblings beside him in view. They were all clutching their heads too, expressions twisted with agony, the air filled with their screams. No, no, he had to save them. He had to stop this somehow, protect them. Come on, stupid brain, think. Do something other than crumple in torture!
It was too much. Five’s eyes slipped shut, succumbing to the burning of whatever the cube had forced into his head. And all at once, everything went quiet.
***
Was he dead? No, that was stupid. Five wasn’t one for debating over what happened after death, but he was fairly certain death didn’t involve this many bruises. Or fire.
Wait. Fire?
Five unsteadily rose to his feet, his head still throbbing. Yes, there definitely was a blaze flickering beside him, one of several bruning through a rubble-filled landscape. Where the hell was he?
His vision cleared a little, Five could now notice crumbling buildings towering above him, the rank smell of ash and death hanging thick in the atmosphere, the sky barely visible through looming orange clouds. It was all familiar, sickeningly familiar. Realisation shot through him at breakneck speed, a feeling so harsh he nearly fell over again. Five could taste bile rising in his throat as the panic set in, his breathing grew ragged.
He was the in the apocalypse.
None of this was making sense, but Five’s head was hurting too much for him to care. Only one numb thought was registering in his brain; his family. He had to find them.
Five stumbled blindly across the desolate landscape, shouting out anything he could think of.
“Klaus! Allison! Diego!” Five felt delirious, tears were sprouting from his eyes, but he had to keep walking, shouting, doing anything, “Luther! Please, anyone! Anyone!”
Then he spotted it. Nestled among the wreckage of a huge warehouse, six bodies lying haphazardly on the rubble. Five wasn’t sure he’d ever moved faster, sprinting across the destruction, a deafening cacophony of no, no, no, clanging in his brain. He stumbled, knees slamming onto the ruined pavement. Five was still for a moment, he tried to get his breathing under control before braving the scene before him.
Luther, Klaus, Diego, Allison, Viktor. Even Ben. They lay on their back or on their sides, eye’s half open or completely shut, not a spark of life between them.
Dust and grime adorned all of their faces, as well as tiny trickles of blood on Diego and Viktor’s foreheads. Luther was half-buried under a slab of ceiling, his final moments of fear still etched upon his face. Allison lay beside Ben, they seemed to have been holding hands as they met their demise. All these tiny details were sinking into Five like bullets as he feverishly looked from sibling to sibling, in a numb state of shock.
“No,” Five croaked out, voice instantly breaking, tears flooding down his face, “No, no, guys please, please no, you can’t be- wake up, please anyone wake up, just look at me for god's sake, please-” he knew he was ranting, but nothing mattered anymore. Not when they were gone and Five had nothing, he was right back where he’d started. Alone.
Five barely registered anything. Not the pain beneath his skull growing unbearable, the environment around him melting, the flashes of red cracking through the sky like lightning bolts. Just as quickly as it arrived, the apocalypse faded out of Five’s view, leaving him in crushing darkness.
***
“-and then they ran off.”
“Just like that? They left?”
“Well, once Luther punched the cube thing, they didn’t have any defence.”
“I think asshole-Ben said something like ‘You won’t win so easily next time.’”
“Call that easy? That was a freaking head trip. It all looked so real!”
“Yeah, real and terrifying.”
“No shit, Sherlock.”
Five’s eyes flickered open and shuddered as a wave of nausea flooded over him. Images flashed before his mind like a movie, each dead body of his siblings appearing one at a time in a sick loop.
“Stop,” he murmured to no one in particular, “Please… just stop...”
“Did you guys hear that?”
“Was that… Five?”
“Oh god, where is he?”
“I thought you had him!”
Allison, Ben, Viktor, Luther, the memories spiralled around in circles, over and over until Five felt himself shaking, “Stop it, please, make it stop.”
“He’s over there! Holy crap, why’s he still down?”
“Shit, he’s shivering.”
“Is he ok?”
“Five, can you hear us? Are you ok? Just talk to me-”
A hand was on his shoulder and Five’s eyes shot open. He scrambled off the floor into a sitting position, shoving the arm off.
Diego withdrew his hand, stunned, “Sorry man, just checking you’re alive.”
“W-what happened?” Five stammered, eyes darting between the blurry figures before him. His family. Why were they alive? He’d just seen them all, lifeless and covered in rubble.
“It was the cube,” someone explained, was it Luther? Five winced as Luther’s body swam before his vision again. “It attacked us with these weird energy bolts and made us see… stuff.”
“Our worst nightmares, as we gather,” a female voice added- Allison then-, “Luther managed to snap out of it enough to uppercut the damn thing and pull us into reality again.”
“And the sparrows abandoned ship,” Diego laughed humourlessly, “Damn cowards.”
“Are you ok?” Klaus asked, brow furrowed in concern, “You don’t look so hot, Fivey”
Five tried to get something out, tried to provide a usual i’m fine and put it all behind him, but speech was suddenly impossible. His breathing was quickening again, the memories striking him down one by one.
“Hey,” Diego reached out to him again, “Five, you gotta say something.”
Five lurched away from the gesture like a frightened animal, trembling. “Get the hell away from me,” he spat but there was none of the intended venom in his words, his voice only sounded small and afraid.
“Woah, woah,” Luther raised his hands in what he clearly hoped was a reassuring gesture, “We’re not gonna hurt you Five. Just tell us what’s wrong, ok?”
Hurt him? No, this was all so wrong, his family could never hurt him. It was Five who hurt them, Five who couldn’t save them every time they met their miserable ends. It was all his fault. He curled himself into a ball, wrapping his arms around his knees tight, almost painfully. 50 years worth of barriers had been melted by that stupid cube, every emotion he’d ever held in was cascading out of him in huge waves that left him choking on his breath. Stopping the tears was unthinkable as they spilled down his cheeks and Five let out a sob that racked through his whole body.
His siblings were all frozen, faces in identical expressions of shock and concern. Five couldn’t blame them, this was their brother who’s mask of indifference was usually rock-solid, crying on the floor like the child he really was. Someone said something, asked him a question Five couldn’t hear, every sound was inaudible like he was underwater.
“I’m sorry,” Five whispered, his voice breaking on every word, “I’m so sorry- I wanted to save you all- you d-died so many times- I thought I could stop it but i’m not enough, I’m not enough! I can’t save you- I can’t- i’m so sorry, I-”
Five’s babbling faded into more dry sobs. He buried his head in his hands as he let his grief wash over him for the first time in years. It was deadly silent in the room. Perhaps his siblings had just left him there. Good, he thought, that way he could never hurt them again. They were better off without him. He deserved to be alone.
“Five?”
The soft voice startled him more than a scream would have. He lifted his head to Allison, standing far closer now. She crouched down until his gaze met hers, her hand carefully reaching for his knee. He flinched when the contact came, but didn’t jolt away. Five wanted to tear his eyes off Allisons face and hide away forever but couldn't bring himself to move. The way she looked at him, her face all tender emotions and sorrow- and was that a tear dripping down her cheek?
It was a silent message, a wordless essence; 'I've got you'.
But Allison wasn’t finished. She moved closer and closer until their legs knocked together. Her eyebrows raised in question, and even though Five had no idea what she was asking, he gave a single nod. Allison folded her arms around Five’s shoulders and tugged him into a hug.
“We love you,” she whispered into his ear, “You never have to be sorry.”
With a thud, Diego dropped to his knees as well, bracing a hand on Five’s shoulder. Tears were running down his face as well, a truly surreal sight. Diego’s stoicism was matched only by Five’s, after all. Diego evidently couldn't think of a word to say, opting instead to join the hug, sandwiching Five in between them.
“Lemme get in on that,” Klaus let out a choked-up laugh and buried himself in the hug-pile, resting his chin on top of Five’s head. Luther was the last to join, his huge arms encircling the whole group and squeezing them even closer together, if that was possible.
It was only then Five realised he’d been holding his breath since the first sign of touch. He tried his best to exhale slowly (“ground himself in the moment” provided Dolores’ voice in his head, ever full of wisdom). It was… nice. Very nice, actually. Five hadn’t known human contact that wasn’t a punch to the face in years, and now with so much of it surrounding him, it was almost overwhelming. His eyes stung with tears again, but not from pain or grief, only from the warm supple feeling flooding through his senses.
Was it love? Safety? Five didn’t think it needed a name. All he knew was that the tight knot of stress in his stomach that had first formed when he was 13 was lessening slightly. His head wasn’t throbbing, his cuts and bruises weren’t aching, there were no tangled thoughts flying through his brain. The only thing he could hear were the beating hearts of his siblings around him, he could feel their pulses through his fingers.
They were alive.
Five closed his eyes, letting the last of the tension release from his shoulders and a soft grin creep across his face.