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Arden sat carefully down on one of the antique looking armchairs in the bookshop and opened their laptop to do some homework. They had actually meant to go to the library, but on the way there, they had noticed that the bookshop was open. They had tried to visit it at least five times before, but due to its totally bizarre opening hours, they had never managed to go there while it was open.
They were the only customer currently there, which was nice. It was quiet and warm and cozy, unlike in the apartment they shared with their friends. They loved their friends, but sometimes one needs some quiet alone time.
Arden was fully focused on their homework for some time and not once did they hear any other customer come in. At least an hour must’ve gone by until their focus broke when they suddenly felt burst of pain in their lower abdomen. Their heart sank as they immediately recognized the feeling.
Oh no.
It was a cramp. It felt like someone was squeezing their insides and sinking their sharp nails deeper and deeper in to their flesh. And as they moved in discomfort, they registered how wet, cold and yucky their jeans felt.
Oh fuck. Arden started to slowly panic. Their period wasn’t supposed to start yet! They had thought they would have at least five days before the torment would begin, but apparently not!
The horror started to set in, as they realized that their favourite jeans and the very old and expensive looking chair they were sitting on, were probably covered in blood at this point. They also had no pads or tampons with them. They could feel their anxiety striking and its cold fingers starting to choke their throat. Suddenly they couldn’t breath properly and tears started to well behind their eyes.
No no no no this can not be happening, Arden thought as another horrible cramp went by. It felt like their insides forcibly wanted to become the outsides, and tried to claw their way out. Normally they could deal with that fine, but now they were also filled with anxiety and panic.
Tears began to roll down their cheeks.
“Are you quite all right?”
Arden looked up and through their tears they could see Mr. Fell, the owner of the bookshop, looking at them with concerned look in his face.
“I-“ Arden couldn’t speak. They sobbed and desperately tried to wipe away the tears falling down their cheeks like a waterfall. How could they tell Mr. Fell that they had ruined his armchair?
“If you feel like its something you can’t talk to me about, you of course don’t have to, but maybe I could help?” Mr. Fell said softly and offered Arden a handkerchief that he had pulled out of nowhere. Or maybe from one of his pockets.
Arden took the offered handkerchief and wiped their cheeks with it. As they were doing so, they suddenly felt a weird tingling sensation go trough their body that somehow also felt like they were given a warm hug and the feeling of being safe. They immediately felt much calmer, less anxious and like they could breath again.
Arden looked at Mr. Fell who was still waiting in arms length away, observing them. Mr. Fell looked kind and the type of person who wouldn’t get angry easily.
Suddenly Arden couldn’t stop themself, it all came out in one breath. “My period started and now there is blood on your very expensive chair and on my favourite jeans and I can’t afford to pay you for the armchair when the stain doesn’t come out and I don’t have any pads with me or change trousers and I am so sorry!”
“Oh dear”, Mr. Fell said, but didn’t sound or look angry at all. He stepped closer. “It’s all right, don’t you worry about the chair. Come with me, let’s get you to the loo, so you can clean up”, Mr. Fell said and offered his hand. Arden shoved their laptop in their backpack and took the offered hand. As Mr. Fell helped them up, they felt their pain decrease.
Arden stood up shakily, grimacing when they felt the blood flood down as gravity started to do its work. Arden didn’t even dare to check on what condition the chair was in.
Mr. Fell didn’t look ether. He started to guide Arden to the right.
“Now, dear girl-“
“Not a girl”, Arden interrupted quickly, feeling ill again.
“What?”
“I’m not a girl”, Arden explained and waited for Mr. Fell to start explaining Arden’s own gender to them, how they must be a girl because they were on their period.
“Oh? Oh! Oh dear lord, I’m terribly sorry for misgendering you! I shouldn’t have assumed.”
Well, Arden did not expect that.
“It’s okay. You are forgiven”, Arden said and managed to smile a little.
“No it’s definitely not okay, but thank you for your forgiveness. May I ask what your preferred pronouns are, dear?”
“They/them”, Arden told and Mr. Fell nodded.
Then he suddenly stopped which made Arden stop too. They were standing in front of a door in between bookshelves which Arden was pretty sure wasn’t there earlier when they had browsed around the shop, but they could have easily just missed it. The door truly wasn’t something you paid much attention to, in a beautiful bookshop like A. Z. Fell’s. It was nondescript, just a regular door made of dark wood. It had a simple white sign that just said ”WC”. There was no sign indicating the gender its user should be, which was nice.
“Here we are”, Mr. Fell said and opened the door. “While you clean up, I’ll go and see if my partner has any trousers you could borrow. I have a feeling mine won’t suit you.”
Arden looked at Mr. Fell’s smart, cream coloured trousers that matched the rest of his suit and agreed.
And then, before Arden could ask any follow up questions, for example if there were pads in the toilet and what about underpants, Mr. Fell pushed them to the loo and closed the door behind them, leaving them alone.
Arden looked around the loo. It was small and had the basic things loos usually have: a toilet seat, a sink with a little cabinet under it and a oval shaped mirror on the wall over the sink. Next to the sink was a soft looking tartan towel hanging from a hook.
Arden took a peek inside the cabinet. There were two shelves. The upper one had a whole array of different kinds of pads and tampons. The lower shelf had another array, but this time it consisted of underpants in different colours and sizes, from men’s boxers to women’s lace panties.
“Okay, not weird at all”, Arden said out loud and chose a pad and a simple pair of black panties. When having periods, always choose simple and black, was their motto.
Few moments later, as Arden was aggressively washing their jeans with cold water in the sink, someone knocked on the door.
“I have clean trousers for you here. I’ll leave them in front of the door for you. Don’t worry, the shop is now closed, so there is no one here to see. When you’re ready, we’re waiting in the backroom. I hear there is warm cocoa and cookies if you want some.”
The voice wasn’t Mr. Fell’s and Arden couldn’t tell if it belonged to a feminine or masculine person, but it didn’t really matter and besides, they sounded friendly enough. Arden came to the conclusion that they were probably Mr. Fell’s partner and perhaps the “Co.” part of the A. Z. Fell and Co.
“Okay! Thank you!” Arden answered.
“No problem”, the voice said and then Arden heard footsteps leaving.
Arden waited half a minute, before opening the door and quickly grabbing the pile of fabric waiting on the floor.
After closing the door again, they finally looked at the trousers, or jeans actually. They were high waisted, loose and light blue coloured. They were exactly the kind of jeans Arden liked. They put them on and was surprised to find that they fit them perfectly, like they were made specifically for them. What were the chances Mr. Fell’s partner was exactly the same size and had the same preference in jeans as Arden?
The jeans were really comfortable and Arden almost wished they wouldn’t have to return them later.
Arden turned back to their own jeans, waiting in the sink. They had managed the get almost all of the blood off, because it was so fresh and hadn’t had the time to dry. Their panties were ruined though, and they had decided to just throw them in the trashcan next to the sink.
Arden looked at themself in the mirror. Their face was red from the crying and their short curly hair was a mess. They splashed their face with cold water, which didn’t help much with the redness, but at least they felt fresher now. They left the hair as it was, not wanting to start a fight with it right now.
Arden grabbed the damp jeans with them as they exited the bathroom. They decided first to go grab their things from the armchair and then try and find the backroom.
The armchair wasn’t hard to locate as Arden remembered the way there and it wasn’t far away from the loo. Arden was surprised to find the armchair spotless, not a drop of blood in sight. How had Mr. Fell cleaned it already? Arden felt the fabric with their fingertips and it wasn’t even a little damp or anything. Mr. Fell truly was a miracle worker!
Arden grabbed their backpack and began the journey of finding the backroom in the maze that was the bookshop. The bookshop was dimly lighted, there were piles of books everywhere on the floor, in addition to the bookcases full of books. There were also all kinds of trinkets and fascinating little objects which intended uses Arden wasn’t sure of. They didn’t dare to touch anything, scared they would accidentally broke something. Luckily they soon started hearing voices from somewhere deep in the bookshop and started following them.
“Why did the Almighty design them that way?” Asked one voice. Arden recognized it immediately, it belong to Mr. Fell.
“Don’t ask me, angel! I have no idea why She does anything”, another voice answered. It was clearly the same voice that had talked with Arden trough the door of the loo.
Arden stopped walking for a second, baffled. Did Mr. Fell’s partner just use she/her pronouns for God? And why were they even talking about God in the first place?
“The poor dear was in a such pain.”
Mr. Fell was talking about Arden now, that much was clear to them. Arden continued walking and the voices grew louder as they got closer and closer to where the pair was talking.
“Major design flaw if you ask me, that whole “bleeding for a week every month” thing.”
Now Arden was even more baffled. Did Mr. Fell’s partner just call menstruation a “design flaw”? What was going on in this strange and fascinating little bookshop that was almost never open and which owner didn’t seem to actually want to sell any of his books?
Arden didn’t have time think further, because they finally reached the backroom. First thing they saw, was Mr. Fell sitting on an old, but comfortable looking sofa, sipping something from a white mug with angel wings as a handle.
Second thing Arden noticed was Mr. Fell’s partner, laying eyes closed on the sofa, their head resting on Mr. Fell’s lap, while Mr. Fell scratched their head with his mug-free hand.
Mr. Fell’s partner looked nothing like Arden had imagined they would look like, but first thing Arden thought was that they were nowhere near their size! Unlike Arden, Mr. Fell’s partner was thin and…Arden wanted to say “long” for some reason, even though “tall” would be a better word to describe a human. Also their black trousers were the tightest trousers Arden had ever seen. How did the borrowed ones fit Arden so well?
“Oh, there you are! How are you feeling, dear?” Mr. Fell asked as he suddenly noticed Arden standing there. His partner got hastily up from his lap and moved to the other end of the sofa, looking startled. Now Arden could see them better.
In many ways the two were completely opposites: where Mr. Fell was round and soft and dressed in light colours, his partner was thin, lanky, all angles and dressed in all black. Most striking feature in Mr. Fell’s partner was their bright red hair that fell down on just on their shoulders and curled slightly. They also had a really cool tattoo of a snake on their right cheek. The redhead was also now wearing sunglasses. When did they put them on? And why the redhead was wearing sunglasses inside the dim bookshop for the first place, was a question Arden didn’t know the answer to and didn’t dare to ask.
“I feel much better, thank you Mr. Fell!”
“There is no need to thank me. Sit down, please”, Mr. Fell said and motioned towards an armchair standing opposite the sofa. Arden sat down and found it to be quite comfortable. They set their backpack and the damp jeans on the floor next to the chair.
“This is my partner, Crowley”, Mr. Fell said and looked at the redhead sitting next to him with adoring eyes. Arden could almost feel the love radiating from Mr. Fell warm their skin.
“Hi, I’m Arden. Nice to meet you”, Arden said and shook hands with Crowley. They noticed Crowley’s nails were painted black, matching the rest of their outfit.
”Here, have some cocoa and cookies if you like”, Mr. Fell offered, pointing at a small wooden table between the armchair and sofa. On the table there was one steaming mug with angel wings and a plate of sandwich cookies with some kind of jam in the middle.
“Thank you”, Arden said and carefully took the mug and one cookie from the plate. Then they sipped the cacao and may have let out a little hum of pleasure. The cocoa was really rich, chocolatey and not too sweet, just perfect for their taste.
“This is delicious”, Arden said and Mr. Fell looked pleased.
“That’s great to hear”, Mr. Fell said and took a sip from his own cup. That’s when Crowley decided to join the discussion.
“Angel here already told me your pronouns are they/them. My pronouns are they/them today as well”, Crowley told Arden who nodded and smiled at the cute petname.
“So you change pronouns often?” Arden asked Crowley, their curiosity taking over.
“Well, occasionally. I can never stay in one gender very long and some days, like today, I don’t feel like bothering with gender at all.”
“And I like to stay away from the whole gender thing all together”, Mr. Fell suddenly declared. Arden turned to look at him, surprised.
“Really?” Arden had just assumed that Mr. Fell was a man and used he/him pronouns. Of course, you shouldn’t just assume, no matter what anyone looked. “So what pronouns do you prefer then?”
“I don’t mind any of them. I usually just let people use whatever pronouns they think will fit me. And so, because I look how I look, it tends to steer towards he/him more often than not.”
Arden nodded. This day got more interesting by the second. How on earth did they end up discussing gender with a bookshop owner and his partner?
“I’m still questioning my gender myself, but I know I fall somewhere under the nonbinary term. I’ve been calling myself nonbinary for three months now, I think, but I could very well be agender too. I’m still figuring things out.”
Arden found Mr. Fell and Crowley surprisingly easy to talk to. They knew they would understand and not judge. It was quite nice actually, to talk to someone much older than them who had had a similar experience.
“It takes time to figure one’s self out. I hope you know that there is no hurry to do so and you are allowed to take your time”, Mr. Fell said and Arden smiled.
“Of course.”
“Good to hear”, Mr. Fell said and then looked at Crowley with the most adorable pleading look on his face. “My dearest, you don’t have to be so far away anymore.”
”Angel?” For a second Crowley looked stunned, like they couldn’t believe what was happening was real, that Mr. Fell really said that. Quickly the surprised face was replaced with an incredibly fond one. Crowley glanced quickly at Arden who hid their smile by taking a sip from their mug.
Crowley apparently decided that it didn’t matter if Arden saw them cuddling with Mr. Fell and snuggled closer to their partner, wrapping as much of themself around him as possible. Arden could hear them sigh as they found comfortable position and their body relaxed in Mr.Fell’s hold.
Mr. Fell smiled lovingly at Crowley and placed a little kiss on their forehead, which made Crowley’s cheeks turn a shade redder, matching their hair nicely. Crowley hid their face in Mr. Fell’s chest in embarrassment and then apparently decided to just stay there.
Arden could swear he heard Mr. Fell whisper “You silly old serpent” to Crowley. But who called their partner “silly old serpent” ? Mr. Fell even somehow managed to make it sound like the most loving endearment, in pair with Crowley’s “angel”.
The couple was so cute and clearly so deeply in love that it was ridiculous. Arden was so happy for them and could only hope to find something as wonderful someday.
Yet, Arden started slowly feel like they were imposing on an intimate moment that wasn’t meant for them to see. To have something to do, Arden tasted the cookie, which positively melted in their mouth. They sighed deeply and closed their eyes as the flavors exploded in their mouth.
“Are these cookies homemade? Can I get the recipe?” Arden asked Mr. Fell after finishing the whole cookie.
“They are actually from a bakery near by. I can give you the name and the address if you want.”
“That would be wonderful.” Arden definitely needed to buy these cookies for themself later, they were so good.
“I think I actually have…” Mr. Fell felt a pocket inside his jacket under Crowley’s arm and pulled out a little card. “Ah yes, here it is.”
Mr. Fell handed the card to Arden. It had the name of a bakery and an address written on it with a beautiful loopy cursive.
“Why did- how did you have this in your pocket?” Arden asked puzzled.
“Well I…ah..my friend…recommended the bakery to me? Yes, that’s definitely how it went, and so they gave me that note, but I obviously won’t need it anymore so you can have it now.”
“Okay, well thank you. I will definitely go and visit this bakery.”
Mr. Fell nodded enthusiastically.
“You should also try their angel food cake, it’s scrumptious!”
“Will do.” Arden smiled at Mr. Fell’s excitement.
After that, the room fell silent. Arden finished the cocoa and ate a few more cookies. During that time, Crowley seemed to fall asleep, their face now pressed against Mr. Fell’s round tummy. Mr. Fell looked to be deep in thought, while absentmindedly scratching Crowley’s head, fingers moving slowly in the red hair.
Eventually Arden decided that maybe it was time to them to go home and leave Mr. Fell and Crowley to continue cuddling in peace.
“I think it’s time for me to go home”, Arden whispered to Mr. Fell as an attempt to not disturb Crowley. “Thank you for your help, Mr. Fell. I seriously don’t know what I would’ve done if weren’t for you.”
“You’re welcome, dear. I’m happy to help.” Mr. Fell was quiet for a moment and then appeared to think of something and continued: “Unless you want to buy a book, in which case I would suggest you go to some other bookshop for your inquiries. There are many in London.”
Arden wasn’t sure if Mr. Fell was joking or not, but it ultimately didn’t matter as they couldn’t afford any of the books anyway.
“Don’t worry, I have no plans on buying books from you. Would it be okay tough if I came by again just to talk? Like about gender and bakery recommendations?”
“That would be wonderful. I’m sure Crowley would like it too”, Mr. Fell said and glanced lovingly at Crowley, who was still sleeping soundly.
“Great. Well, I’ll come by someday then. Oh and I can come by promptly tomorrow and return these jeans to Crowley.”
“There is no need for that”, Mr. Fell stated.
“What do you mean?” Arden asked baffled.
“You can keep them.”
“Really? Won’t Crowley-“
“No, they won’t mind”, Mr. Fell assured.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” Mr. Fell sounded absolutely certain. Arden believed him.
“Well then, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Only later that evening, while laying in their bed, Arden realized that they hadn’t had a single cramp since the first two and they had had only slight pain. Usually at this point they had to take some painkillers, but for some reason, not today. Not this time.
What a strange day they had had.